Zipporwhill’s Secret
By Alaborn
Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.
Friends and pets gathered in a Ponyville park, a tradition enjoyed by pony and animal alike. Applejack tossed a stick to her dog Winona, who raced to catch the stick and return it to her master. Two sets of eyes tracked the movement from the grass, the large eyes of Pinkie Pie and the smaller, unblinking eyes of the pet alligator nestled in her poofy mane. Nearby, Fluttershy tried to coax Angel into joining the fun; the rabbit stubbornly refused. And sitting in the shade of a large tree, Opalescence consented to being pampered by Rarity, the unicorn slowly brushing her long and luxurious coat.
Up in the sky, Twilight Sparkle practiced her flying with Owlowiscious pacing her. Two other figures darted around them, a light blue pegasus and a tortoise wearing a helicopter harness and goggles. “Yeah, just like that!” Rainbow Dash shouted in encouragement as Tank threaded the needle between the alicorn and the owl. The tortoise slowly lifted the edge of its mouth in a smile.
Suddenly, another figure buzzed between the two fast fliers. It zipped back and forth, just a blur of motion and a high-pitched buzzing. Finally, the mysterious figure stopped, revealing a bespectacled pegasus filly. Her wings buzzed as she hovered in front of Rainbow Dash and Tank, grinning.
“Nice moves, kid!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Thanks, miss!” the filly replied.
“Say, aren’t you Zipporwhill?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I sure am!” she replied. “And you’re Rainbow Dash. You sure do have a swell pet!”
“Yeah, Tank’s just more awesome than your normal pet.”
She turned to the tortoise. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Tank!” Zipporwhill nuzzled the tortoise affectionately.
“I think Tank likes you!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Uh-huh! And that’s what I’d like to talk to you about!”
“Sure, go ahead.” As the two pegasi talked, neither noticed the glint of sunlight reflecting off something in the bushes.
Meanwhile, in the bushes, three fillies hid. Scootaloo watched Rainbow Dash and Zipporwhill through a pair of binoculars. “Stupid Zipporwhill,” she muttered. “First she gets her cutie mark, now she’s trying to steal Rainbow Dash.”
“Or maybe she’s just talking to her about petsitting for Tank,” Sweetie Belle said.
“No, I’m sure she’s trying to replace me.”
“Come on, Scootaloo! Stop worrying about everything! I was at Rarity’s when she asked about petsitting for Opalescence,” Sweetie Belle said.
“And you warned her off, right?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Actually, Opalescence was rubbing against her legs. She even let Zipporwhill pet her!” Sweetie Belle replied.
“Whoa,” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah! Taking care of animals must be her talent if she can turn Opalescence nice!” Sweetie Belle said.
“So Ah guess this isn’t about bein’ Cutie Mark Crusaders ninja spies, right?” Apple Bloom asked Scootaloo.
“No,” she admitted. She poked the binoculars through the bushes again. “How does she do it?”
“Do what?” Apple Bloom wondered.
“Fly! Her wings aren’t that big, but she can fly, even hover. I think she hovers better than Rainbow Dash!”
“You could always try asking her,” Sweetie Belle said.
“What? No way!”
“Well, Ah think that’s better than hiding in the bushes,” Apple Bloom said. She pushed her two friends out of the bushes and followed them out.
“Well, howdy, Apple Bloom!” Applejack called to her. “What brings you to the park?”
“Well, you know, crusading stuff,” she replied.
“So, have all y’all met Zipporwhill? She’s offered to be our petsitter when we need one! Zipporwhill, this is mah sister Apple Bloom, and that there’s Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”
Zipporwhill buzzed up, hovering in front of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Hi! Nice to meet you!” She scrunched her face. “Did I meet you at my cuteceañera?”
“Uh, no, we didn’t go,” Scootaloo said, scratching the back of her head nervously.
“Yeah, we were sort of, you know, grounded,” Apple Bloom admitted.
“Long story short, we got the chickens out of the tree, rebuilt Carrot Top’s market stall, and Mr. Wattle’s recovering nicely,” Sweetie Belle said. “I really hated missing seeing my sister sing.”
“Your sister’s in the Ponytones?” Zipporwhill asked excitedly.
“Yes, Rarity,” Sweetie Belle said, motioning to where Rarity was sitting. “You met her when you asked about petsitting for Opalescence.” Sweetie Belle leaned in and whispered. “A word of advice. Never let Opal sense fear.”
“That sweet kitty? I don’t know what you’re talking about; she’s adorable!” Zipporwhill said.
“Well, Ah’ll leave you fillies to get to know each other,” Applejack said. “Try to keep out of trouble, you hear?”
“Yes, Applejack,” Apple Bloom replied as her sister departed.
“So, are you new in town?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yes! We moved here a week ago, and I got my cutie mark! This is the best week ever!”
“So you’re going to be petsitting? For Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yes! Well, maybe, if she needs a petsitter. I’m so excited that there are so many pets in town!”
“Want us to show you around town?” Apple Bloom offered.
“That sounds super-duper!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders introduced Zipporwhill to Sugarcube Corner, the marketplace, and the library. With great regret, they showed her the school they would all be attending once summer was over. As they traveled around town, Zipporwhill never once walked. She was always airborne, zipping among the three fillies on the ground as they talked. Scootaloo kept watching her fly.
Eventually, Apple Bloom nudged Scootaloo. “Ah believe you had a question for Zipporwhill?” Zipporwhill flew up to them, smiling.
“Uh, yeah. How’d you get so good at flying?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well, I learned the basics from my dad, but it was my stepmom who got me into the air!”
“You have our interest,” Scootaloo said.
“Why don’t I show you our shop? Then you can see for yourself!”
This time, the Cutie Mark Crusaders followed Zipporwhill, who finally took them to a shop halfway between Town Hall and the train station. They vaguely remembered the building being unoccupied the last time they saw it. Now, fresh paint covered the exterior walls, and a new sign was hung by the door, illustrated with a pair of brown beans.
Zipporwhill opened the door and let the Crusaders inside. The first thing the fillies noticed was the aroma. It was an unfamiliar smell, but a pleasant one. Then they saw the furnishings, an assortment of plush chairs and small tables. There was a small service counter, a stage in one corner, and bins along one wall, filled with small brown beans.
“Welcome to our coffee shop!” Zipporwhill announced. She waved to the large pegasus stallion who was setting up equipment on the stage. “Hi, Papa!”
“Welcome back, Zipporwhill,” he intoned in an exotic accent.
“I brought some friends over, but first I need to take out Duke!” Zipporwhill flew off, through the back door of the shop.
“I’m so happy to see my little hummingbird making friends,” the stallion said.
“Uh, good afternoon, sir. This is a nice place you have,” Apple Bloom said.
“Thank you, but I’m as much of a guest as you. This shop is my wife’s dream. I’m only here to support her and sing on stage.”
“So what is this place?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“It’s a coffee shop. We’re hoping the ponies of Ponyville will come to enjoy a good coffee and some light entertainment in the company of friends and neighbors.”
“Oh,” Scootaloo said, disappointed. She looked around the shop for what it was Zipporwhill was going to show her.
There was a bit of an awkward silence before Sweetie Belle spoke. “Can you tell us about your family, Mister, uh....”
“Ah, forgive me for not properly introducing myself. I am Sorrento. I hail from Roam, but after the passing of my first wife, I wandered around Equestria, singing and playing my guitar. The life of a traveling musician is hard, especially for my dear Zipporwhill, who so often had to leave her friends behind. I thought I would never find a true home for us.
“Then, one day, I came to play in a small café in San Caballo. There was this most beautiful mare serving coffee. I was so distracted by her beauty that I forgot the words to my song. But then I looked at her, and I sang from the heart. She was my muse; she made me soar higher than the clouds. We got to talking, and before long, we were making beautiful music together.”
Apple Bloom looked at the others. Sweetie Belle was resting her head on her hooves, a dreamy expression on her face. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, was making gagging noises and miming sticking her hoof down her throat.
“Ah, but forgive the ramblings of this hopeless romantic. My dear Coffee Cream dreamed of opening her very own shop, and once we saved enough bits, we journeyed to your quaint little village. And here we are.”
“I’m back!” Zipporwhill shouted as she flew through the front door. She clutched her Miniature Schnauzer puppy in her forelegs. “This is Duke, everypony.”
“That’s a swell pet,” Apple Bloom said.
“So, you were telling us about something that helped you fly?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh, yeah! My stepmom introduced me to coffee! It’s great! It gives me energy, and makes me feel alert! Let me make you some!” Zipporwhill flew out the back door, soon returning without her puppy, and then headed behind the counter, looking over all the equipment. She scratched her head. “Sorry, guys. Coffee Cream taught me this, but I haven’t made coffee ever since I learned it wasn’t my special talent.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders took seats on the stools by the counter and watched. Zipporwhill took a scoop of dark brown beans and put them into a small device. They heard grinding noises, and when she was finished, she had a brown powder the consistency of dry soil. This she put into a filter suspended above a glass pot. She took another pot, this one containing boiling water, and carefully poured it over the coffee grounds, making sure not to spill the water over the top. As they watched, a brown liquid flowed through the filter and collected in the pot below.
Once Zipporwhill was finished making the coffee, she poured it into three mugs and set them in front of her new friends. They sniffed the coffee curiously, noticing the similarities to the overall fragrance of the coffee shop. Scootaloo was the first to try it. “Bleah,” she uttered.
“If you don’t like the taste, you can add cream and sugar,” Zipporwhill suggested. She flew off and immediately returned with a small pitcher and a sugar bowl. The three fillies doctored their coffee until the sweetness of the sugar counterbalanced the bitter coffee.
“So what do you think?” Zipporwhill asked.
“At first Ah thought it was weird, but now Ah’m gettin’ used to it,” Apple Bloom replied.
“Same here,” Sweetie Belle said.
“So when do we feel alert and energetic?” Scootaloo asked.
“It takes time for that to kick in,” Zipporwhill said.
“Awww,” Scootaloo whined.
The door at the back of the shop opened, and an earth pony mare stuck her head through. She had a mane the color of a roasted coffee bean, and a coat color that looked like Sweetie Belle’s coffee after she added a lot of cream to it. “Sorrento, Zipporwhill, can you come here? I need your help.” The mare noticed the three fillies at the bar. “Sorry, girls, but I need Zipporwhill’s help to unpack the supplies we just received.”
“That’s okay. Ah understand the need to do chores,” Apple Bloom said.
“Thanks for the coffee, Zipporwhill!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Thanks for stopping by. Come back anytime!” she replied energetically.
“Bye,” Scootaloo said.
The three fillies walked to the door as the others left out the rear door. Scootaloo tried flying out the door, but could only stay in the air for a few seconds. She landed, grunting.
“Nothing?” Apple Bloom asked.
Sweetie Belle concentrated, trying to open the door with her magic. The green magical energy on her horn sputtered before dissipating without effect. “Nothing here, either.”
“Well, Ah’d certainly like to have enough energy to buck trees like Applejack, but maybe this coffee isn’t a substitute for more practice,” Apple Bloom said.
“Or maybe the problem is we didn’t have enough!” Scootaloo suggested. She trotted over to the bins of coffee beans, noticing there were also wrapped bags of beans. “We can buy this bag. It says ‘recommended for espresso’. That’s Roaman for fast, right?”
“Why are you looking at me?” Sweetie Belle squeaked.
“Well, I think we should buy it,” Scootaloo said.
“But Zipporwhill’s ma and pa ain’t around to sell it,” Apple Bloom protested.
“The price is right on the bag. See? Five bits.” Scootaloo pulled out five coins and slapped them on the counter. “I’m sure they’ll be happy to have their first sale. Now come on! Let’s go!”
Though doubtful, neither Apple Bloom nor Sweetie Belle ultimately objected to Scootaloo’s purchase. With the bag of coffee beans under Scootaloo’s wing, they decamped to their normal meeting place.
“Well, this is great,” Scootaloo said. Sitting on the floor of the clubhouse, she poked her hoof in the bag of coffee beans and tried to remember how Zipporwhill turned them into coffee.
“I’m sure Apple Bloom will find something in her kitchen,” Sweetie Belle replied.
As if on cue, they heard the sound of hooves on the ramp to the clubhouse. Apple Bloom entered and dumped her saddlebags on the clubhouse floor. “So Ah found the spice grinder that Ah see Granny Smith use each cider season,” she said, pulling it out. “Ah bet it’ll work. Now, Ah’m not sure what that paper Zipporwhill used was, but Ah found somethin’ like it. And Ah couldn’t find a funnel, so Ah took this funny measurin’ cup with a hole in the bottom. And there’s water in the kettle boilin’ on the stove.”
Scootaloo took the spice grinder. “So let’s do the easy part first.” She poured some of the beans into the spice grinder and turned the crank.
“You’ve been grinding for a while,” Sweetie Belle finally said. “Maybe you should check on it?”
Scootaloo shrugged and opened it. What was in the grinder was closer to a powder than the grounds Zipporwhill made. “That means more of the good stuff got out of the beans, right?”
The next problem came when the amount of coffee Scootaloo ground didn’t fit into the cup. “Just press it in really tight,” Sweetie Belle suggested. That worked, but when Apple Bloom came back with the kettle, the water wasn’t going through the coffee grounds.
“Ah think we just need to use a pump. You know, put a little pressure behind the water,” Apple Bloom said. It took a little effort, but she managed to jury-rig a pump to force the water through the coffee.
When all was said and done, the three fillies were staring at something that only vaguely resembled the coffee Zipporwhill made for them. Their coffee was thicker, almost syrupy in texture. Scootaloo poured some into a mug. “Here goes nothing,” she said. She cringed as the bitter coffee crossed her tongue.
“So how is it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Strong!” Scootaloo said.
“Want me to get the sugar?”
Scootaloo forced down the rest of the cup. “No, I’m good.”
Sweetie Belle gasped. “That was supposed to be for all of us!”
Scootaloo pointed to the bag. “We’ll make more.”
That evening, the Crusaders experimented with making coffee. It didn’t take them long to decide their first attempt made the best coffee. By the third cup, they forgot about the sugar and drank their coffee black. Over the next two hours, they made and consumed their wonderful coffee.
Scootaloo held up the empty bag of coffee. “We’re out.”
“That’s too bad,” Apple Bloom said. “Do y’all feel that earthquake?”
Scootaloo nodded. “The clubhouse is shaking.”
Sweetie Belle looked out the window. “The whole orchard is shaking!”
“Let’s go!” Scootaloo shouted. “I’ll fly us to safety!”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened. “And I can feel the magic in me! I’ll cast a spell and make it stop!”
Apple Bloom’s legs twitched. “Ah’ll just buck the ground until it stops moving!”
The fillies ran out of the clubhouse. Scootaloo jumped into the air, hovering as fast as Zipporwhill. Barely restrained magic flowed from Sweetie Belle’s horn into the earth below. And Apple Bloom kicked a deep furrow into the ground.
“It worked!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Ah’ve never felt this strong before!” Apple Bloom said.
“And I’ve never felt this fast!” Scootaloo added, flying in a circle eight around the others. “You know what this means?”
“We need to go crusading, right now!” Apple Bloom said.
“We’re sure to get our cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle said.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, CRUSADING CRUSADERS, YAY!!!!” they shouted, before running and flying back to Ponyville.
It took a contingent of Royal Guards, three restricted spells from the Starswirl the Bearded archives, two activations of the Elements of Harmony, and a seventeen layer cake, but eventually the Cutie Mark Crusaders were slowed down enough that the hospital staff could sedate them. They woke up in the hospital with the worst headaches they’d ever experienced, an impressive task for a group of fillies who regularly crashed head first into the ground. Thanks to the spellcraft of Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville was restored, with only the faint smell of smoke, dust, and chocolate as evidence of what transpired that night.
As a consequence of what Ponyville residents would later term the Caffeinated Crusader Calamity, three fillies received a stern lecture (and were assigned a thousand word essay) about the dangers of overdosing on stimulants. They spent the better part of three weeks apologizing to ponies from Ponyville to Cloudsdale to Canterlot. And finally, the arcane regulation in the Ponyville code of laws prohibiting the sale of coffee to one Pinkamena Diane Pie was hastily amended to include three more names.
