The Less-Than-Sane Adventures of Spark Trace

by thecookiewookie

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Changelings, Random, Discord
Length: 2844

Who is this green-maned unicorn? Why has he been seen with Discord? And who keeps setting off the Pinkie Sense?

Half-sane protagonists! Discord! Trolling Pinkie! All around crazy! Goddesses, it's good to be random.

An odd unicorn has some crazy fun in and around Ponyville. His companionship with Discord causes some chaos in and of itself, and his personality threatens to out-random Pinkie AND Discord. So why can nopony say where this enigmatic and unstable pony lives? His home ought to be a known hazard, so where is it? Why is he never seen anywhere except causing trouble? And who has been leaving Princess Twilight fan mail?

EDIT: Apparently, my muse wants Spark's backstory to be seriously emotional. Do not read chapter two if you are allegic to sudden seriousness and very saddening moments.

*Disclaimer: This is written based on the decisions of my muse. Sudden changes in mood are to be expected.

Published 2014-02-25 09:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-18 08:27:59 UTC

Hold it!

Cascades of laughter came from the pond shore.

Spark Trace laughed hysterically as Discord held up the poor animal. The bullfrog looked irate at suddenly having a tadpole's hind end, but its withering glares went unnoticed by the two, who were busy collapsing with hilarity. Eventually, Discord calmed down and restored the frog's legs, which were now adorned with clown shoes and striped leggings, before releasing it into the pond once more.

"Ah, Spark, finally a pony who can appreciate my sense of humor! But tell me, why can you find this funny when nopony else can?"

Finally gasping enough air to stop convulsing, Spark stood and smirked lopsidedly at Discord. "Simple. It's my motto: Life is a joke, so laugh at it. I figure if I can't change it, didn't start it, and don't need to stop it, all that's left is to laugh or to cry, and I prefer to laugh. Plus, you're funny."

Discord responded with a coy look, an obviously fake blush appearing with a snap of his fingers, accompanied by shining eyes reminiscent of some cheesy Neighponese cartoon.

Spark laughed again. "Of course, being nearly as insane as you helps too."

Discord banished the illusion and locked eyes with the ebon-coated unicorn, suddenly serious. "I'm. Not. Crazy." He smacked his lips a few times. Then he broke into a huge grin. "I'm CHAOTIC!" He punctuated the statement by flinging his arms wide as several clouds or lilac-flavored smoke burst into existence, accompanied by the sound of accordions and bagpipes.

Spark collapsed in hysterics again, unable to keep a straight face.

Discord summoned a microphone and bowed before it. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Tip your waitresses, and don't piss off Ol' Sunbutt!"

Spark chuckled and got up. Suddenly, Discord's eyes went wide and his grin slipped away. In a snap of his claws, he was gone, a swarm of flying red mackerel in his place. An instant later, they too vanished, replaced by glittering letters:

GOT TO GO, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. SORRY.

'What?' thought Spark. 'What spooked him?'

As if on cue, a very irritated mare shouted, "You there! Hold it right there!" as he felt a magic aura grip and levitate him.

'Oh crap. Okay, what did I do? Was it illegal? How long a dungeon sentence? What if I drop the soap? What if there's hard criminals there? What do I DO?!?!'

As Twilight reached the hovering unicorn, she noticed him thrashing and twisting spasmodically. As she started to hear him rambling to himself, she wondered if this pony was insane, having a panic attack, or both. She turned to her friends. "Um, I think he's having a seizure."

Spark immediately stopped moving and stared at her. "I am not! I was jumping to conclusions and indulging in an unhealthy helping of reductum ad absurdum, thank you very much. And here you go and break my train of thought! Yet another train jumps the tracks! I can see the headline now: 'Train of thought derails near cerebral cortex, ideas presumed missing'. Trains are weird."

Pinkie stared up at him. "You make so much sense. How come you know Pinkie Logic?"

Spark looked back condescendingly. "I am well versed in NO form of logic, and I should hope to remain that way! ... wait, you understood me? I didn't understand me. Whoa."

Twilight remembered that she was supposed to be angry at him. "You're the one who's been causing havoc around Ponyville, aren't you!"

"A friend of mine would most sincerely prefer that you call it chaos, but yes! 'Twas me, in the flesh!"

Twilight scowled. "Alright, you're coming back to the library for a 'chat'." She began to pull him along behind her as she walked toward her house.

Spark crossed his hooves. "Excuse me, I CAN walk, you know."

"Yes, but I could bet anything that you'd vanish or run off," Twilight responded without looking back.

Spark pouted. "No. Never. Probably not. Maybe. I'm lying. Fine." He sighed and leaned back, lounging on the invisible couch Twilight carried him on.

As they reached the library, Spark hopped up. "FINALLY! I was getting so bored. Now there's something to DO!" His coat shimmered several colors before settling back to black. Twilight made a mental note to ask him about that.

Setting him inside the house, Twilight turned to him. "Alright, now we talk.Why are you causing trouble? What are you doing hanging around Discord? Are you the one who's been leaving me fan mail?"

Spark replied, looking bored: "Respectively: It's fun, he's awesome, and... wait, what?" He stared at her as if he'd only just noticed her. "Oh my goddesses, you're Princess Twilight! Holy crap, I'm in your HOUSE! Squeee! Can I get your autograph?"

Twilight was nonplussed. "You've been talking to me for half an hour. You notice this NOW?"

Spark let the starstruck expression slide from his face and burst out laughing. "Wow, you really bought it! Hoo hoo, oh, your FACE! Hahahaha... ooh, rib cramp, ack!"

"Alright, why are you hanging out with Discord? Wait, what are you...WHAT?" Twilight exclaimed. Spark's side had become black and solid and slightly shiny, and he was rubbing a hoof over it. She recognized that substance. That was chitin, the stuff which made up hair, or insect shells, or the bodies of... "CHANGELING!"

Spark's head snapped up. He looked at his side. "Oh, crap. Uhm, please don't kill me?" He raised his hooves in a gesture of surrender.

Applejack had just come running from the kitchen, and looked ready to buck him clean in half. Rarity was levitating several needles around her, all pointed at him. Rainbow Dash was hovering over him, one hoof reeled back, ready to pulverize his face. Twilight's horn was lit, and several spells were readied. "Give me one reason I shouldn't blast you unconscious and cart you off to the Canterlot dungeons." Pinkie comforted Fluttershy, who was cowering in the corner.

"Oh, man, not a pop quiz. Ummm... Oh! I could have attacked you or vanished by now, but I haven't. I don't want to be hunted down, so I'm still here. Can I please put my hooves down? You're scaring me."

Twilight reluctantly extinguished her horn, and gestured to her friends to stand down. "If you try anything funny, your face will be flat faster then you can say 'oops'," Rainbow threatened. Spark gulped and nodded as Rainbow backed up to give him some space. "Okay, you want answers. Yes, I'm a changeling. No, I did not 'replace' Spark, he's just my disguise. And no, I don't want to hurt anyone," Spark said cautiously. "If I wanted to just suck dry somepony's emotions, I could have done that by now. I'm not with the hive... I'm alone." As he said the last part, his head drooped, and his disguise slipped away completely, revealing a changeling with a moss green carapace plate, pale green membranous mane, and piercing blue eyes. As he faced the ground, he drooped completely, slumping to the ground in despair.

"You know what, never mind. If you want to knock me out and send me away, go ahead. I'm nearly starving anyway, I can barely get enough emotion to stay alive. And now, I've finally admitted to myself that I really don't have anyone. Discord's good for a laugh, but he's hardly a friend. It's not like I could get any lower. I know you don't sympathize with me, I can feel it. Just zap me already."

Fluttershy looked up at the changeling. Now, rather than a monster, she saw a despairing and crushed pony, one who needed love from others, in more ways than one. "It's okay. I don't mind what you are, and a little kindness is just what you need." With visible effort, she reached out a trembling hoof and placed it on his shoulder.

He looked up, confusion in his eyes. "Wait... You actually care about me. I can feel your concern. You six have had direct contact with changelings, you ought to hate me. Why are you being nice?"

Feeling emboldened by his uncertainty, Fluttershy continued to speak. "Well, the other changelings at the royal wedding were evil, and they attacked us. If you don't want to attack us or feed on us, why should we hate you? You are who and what you are, and nothing can change that."

The other five had been stunned speechless by Fluttershy's acceptance of the changeling, but at this Rarity spoke. "Darling, I think you shouldn't believe him. He's a changeling. He's probably playing for sympathy just to drain us, and that could be dangerous. Remember poor Shining Armor? He was weak and paranoid for weeks after the wedding."

Spark's head sunk to the floor again. "I have no reason to hurt you. Emotional feeding only causes damage if a changeling gets greedy and pulls energy out, instead of just taking what is wasted. I can't even prove that I'm not planning to hurt anypony, because of course I'm lying to get in good with you. Either believe me or arrest me already."

Twilight's face lit up. "Wait, there might be... hang on." She began rummaging through the bookshelves, looking for one volume specifically. "Okay, title begins with P... here's Ps... Aha! Psionics Simplified!" She began flipping through it as Spark and the others looked on curiously. "Here's the spell: Advanced Mindwalking. 'This allows the caster to to enter a willing recipient's mind and psychically examine their thoughts.' If I can't enter his mind, he's lying and doesn't want me to find out. If I can, I can find out for myself if he's telling the truth."

Spark looked up, suddenly hopeful. "Wait, you mean I could... stay? If it works?"

"It's a bit early for that, bub." Applejack said. "Maybe, if yer tellin' the truth, you can find a way to fit in around here. Maybe."

Spark jumped up with hope shining in his eyes. "A chance to belong again... Yes! Okay, go ahead, scan me!"

Twilight charged the spell, staring intently at the book, then made eye contact with Spark. His jaw hung slack as both of their eyes glowed sky blue as Twilight entered his mind.

Author's Note

Muahahaha! The epic (or not) saga of Spark Trace begins!

This is just chapter one. This shouldn't be too long, it's not a very deep story. Please leave feedback, I want opinions and suggestions.

A Mind of Madness... Built to Mask the Sadness

Clouds of doubt and mists of uncertainty rolled by.

Twilight waved before her, clearing the air. She had looked into others' minds before but this one was complex beyond the usual for certain. She couldn't see far before some errant thought or distortion of logic blocked her view. The entire landscape of Spark's mind showed dangerous signs of damage, twisting and filled with nonsensical, Non-Euclidian shapes. She quickly looked away before the bizarre setting caused problems. The brain-bending scenery would have given M.C. Escher a headache.

In the mind, thoughts were manifest. Doubt and worry formed thick, dark clouds obscuring clear reasoning, and rationalizations warped the space around them, distorting sensible thoughts.

Twilight pushed through a fog of paranoia toward memory. She had to be careful of the truly unbalanced notions, they could cause physical damage in the realm of the mind.

Skirting around a particularly thorny psychosis, she reached a large pool. Taking a deep breath, Twilight dove into the memory.

"C'mon, you can do better! Having pony genes is no excuse!" An odd voice rang out, seemingly within her head. Right, changelings have a hive mind. This must be what it's like. Interesting... they're all individuals, but each with a psychic link to all the rest...

Her vision cleared, and she could see a younger Spark training with several other changelings, none of whom looked adult.

"Screw off, Phylum!" That was definitely Spark's voice. He was trying to hold a stable changeling disguise, and not doing very well. The colt illusion was flickering and shimmering, leaving the changeling visible. "Some of us can't hold a good disguise as easily as breathing."

"You're just not trying, you larva! You're faking it so you get more affection for dinner!" The other changeling, Phylum, had apparently gotten annoyed by Spark's response.

Nope. While it was interesting, this one was from the wrong time in his life. Twilight surfaced and gasped for a fresh breath. She climbed out of the memory and moved on to another. Only one way to tell if this is the one or not...

"Don't! Krix, don't try to be a hero! Wait for the soldiers! PLEASE!" Spark was screaming with his thoughts. A changeling with wild eyes and cracked chitin stood grinning manically over the broken bodies of three adolescent changelings. It's horn was sparking with dark magic. Another young changeling was flying toward the madcolt at top speed. The crazy one turned and...

Twilight felt it. Even as a memory of a psychic shadow, she could feel the pain of the young changeling being scoured with dark magic. Spark howled in pain, feeling the blow through his friend. "Krix! No! Oh gods no, no, no... " He knew what had happened to his friend even while still behind cover. He staggered out a minute or two later, watching as the Hive Guard blocked the crazed changeling's attacks and took him down.

As the guards dragged the dying madcolt away, Spark stumbled over to the steaming body of his friend. "No... " He couldn't feel Krix's mind. He knew all too well what that meant. The overwhelming loss hit Twilight like an avalanche. She could feel all the rejection, the denial, the rage at the world, and the infinite sadness that the young Spark felt as he clung to the body of his friend.

Twilight swam up hard. Breaching the surface, she scrambled for the edge, desperate to escape the literally crushing emotions. Even completely clear of the pool, she still felt some of the lingering despair. No wonder he tries to escape it all...

Yet, it wasn't over. She had to find the right memory. Tentatively, Twilight moved to the next pool. It was surrounded by a thicket of irrationality and frozen over. Perhaps this was the one which had caused Spark's acquired madness.

Pushing through the spiny illogic and clinging denial, she reached the edge. Striking the ice to break it, Twilight leapt into another memory.

"My queen, I have seen it! I have seen the truth!". Spark's voice was giddy with excitement, and his eyes were aglow with impassioned insight. He was addressing none other than Queen Chrysalis. She sat on her throne looking vaguely interested. "Elucidate, my subject. The truth of what?"

"All of it! You, me, all changelings! I have seen our origin!" Chrysalis' eyes widened, but her mouth became a snarl. "Wrong. You have seen only LIES. I know what you speak of, and I will not have it in my hive."

"My queen, it is not so simply refutable! The carvings were ancient, and they showed it clearly. Though we may hate even the thought, once, in the far past, changelings were just another kind of pony. This is monumental! We may even have a reason to attempt peaceful re-integration!"

"No." Twilight had never heard a word spoken so coldly and full of hate and denial in her life. "Never. We were not ponies. They are WEAK. We are strong. They. Are. Food." Chrysalis leaned forward over Spark, her demeanor radiating pure malice. "You now have a choice. You can atone for even thinking things as treasonous as these, or you will be cast out."

Spark was horrified. "What? How can an idea be treason? I just thought... Why are we even so different from ponies? How?"

Chrysalis leaned back and eyed him with pure contempt. "You have been tainted. You truly believe these SLANDERS against changeling superiority. You have made your choice. Guards! Bind his wings and cast him from the North Spire. If he survives, he is to be exiled."

Spark's face reflected confusion, horror, and betrayal. Suddenly, anger replaced them all. "If I am to be a pariah among my people, then I am a changeling no longer. I reject YOU -" he spat at the ground beneath her hooves "- I reject the HIVE -" he thrashed against the grip of the guards "- and I reject MYSELF!" He charged his horn with a spell. As it cast, nothing happened... outwardly. "There. Now I am only my disguise. I have removed my changeling name from my mind. You will never again call me by it. Even if you could -" the guards were dragging him out of the chamber and past the doors "- I SHALL NEVER AGAIN ANSWER!" The doors slammed shut. Spark felt his wings being bound. As his link to the Hive closed, the memory dissolved into chaos, as madness took hold of his mind.