"Thanks again for helping me with this, you guys." Derpy waved it off like it was nothing.

"Oh, don't worry about it. We're friends, right? Friends help each other. Like all those times you helped Time Turner when he couldn't figure out how to get my attention." Said stallion looked back at us from the rack of clothes he was rifling through, making sure there wasn't a better vest I could wear.

"Hey! We agreed not to talk about that sort of thing in public, Derpy!" She grinned and stuck her tongue out at him as one eye rolled to look at the ceiling.

"There were plenty of times he helped out when it wasn't private, too, you know."

"I know that, but there have been plenty of times that were. I just don't want ponies thinking we're a herd, or something." I chuckled.

"Still put off by that, are you?"

"It just bothers me. I don't know why." Derpy interrupted herself in cleaning my tux to hug her coltfriend and give him a kiss.

"It's fine, hun. I still love you, and you can get my attention on your own, later tonight." The brown-furred stallion blushed heavily, and I nearly lost it as Derpy giggled at him.

"Relax, Timmy. I might be bi, but you two are far too adorable together for me to want to muck it up. Besides, I'm going on a date with Twilight, so most folks are going to assume that even if I was with you, I left to do my own thing. And it's not like we do anything the least bit romantic whatsoever when we're hanging out." He fidgeted with his hands nervously.

"It still feels weird to think about." I chuckled again and held still while Derpy finished using a lint roller to clean me off. I had twenty minutes before I needed to pick up Twilight, and I wanted to at least make an attempt at looking good for our first date. Especially since it was at Fancy Fields. I turned around as I looked at myself in the mirror, checking every angle I could when Rarity came in.

"Oh, magnificent, darling! I knew I could do something impressive with you, but this exceeds expectations. Everything fit alright? Not too restrictive in the legs, is it?" I shook my head.

"Nope. Feels just like my old wedding tux. Fits a little better, honestly, but that's to be expected when you actually get your measurements taken."

"Excellent. I'm surprised at how well it works for you, considering your skin's relatively odd coloration. I'm used to working with a wider range of coat and mane colors, so I was worried about that." I smiled in amusement as I went over to a hat rack and started trying them on.

"Rarity, if there is one thing I know, with my limited experience in the world of fashion, it is that everyone looks good in black." I tried on a top hat, and after studying my reflection for a moment, turned around. "What do you guys think? Too much?" All three of them nodded with grimaces. I put it back in its place and continued searching. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for top hats. Some people just can't wear that much fanciness with adequate skill. Like me. I found a black fedora on the other side, however, and after looking in the mirror and deciding I liked it, I turned around to receive approving nods. I stepped down from the evaluation podium, and grabbed my bag of bits out of the pants I had worn on my way over. "So, how much do I owe you, Rarity?"

"Not a thing, dear. Twilight's been talking about wanting to do this for almost a month, now. If making a tux for you means finally getting her into a relationship, then I'm not going to make you pay for what is essentially a favor for a favor. That mare needs a male in her life, and if she chose you, well then, you're helping me out, too." I cocked an eyebrow as we exited the dressing room. I moved my personal effects from my street clothes to my tux as we talked.

"How so?"

"Because she'll stop talking about what she wants to have her sex partner do to her, and start talking about what her partner actually does to her. Fantasies are fine, but not particularly healthy when one begins to obsess over them. Which is what's been starting to happen, ever since Applejack and Pinkie Pie decided to share their thoughts with us on your sexual prowess." I blushed despite myself. "Anyway, good luck tonight! I hope it goes well!"

"Thanks, Rarity!" I waved goodbye as I left, Time Turner and Derpy right behind me. "You sure you don't mind taking my other stuff home for me?" Time Turner shrugged.

"It's not like there's a lot here. Besides, you have a timetable to keep. You know Twilight will start freaking out if you show up more than thirty seconds late. Get going, enjoy your evening. Tomorrow's Saturday, anyway, so it's not like you have any jobs to take care of."

"Alright, thanks again, guys. See you later." And with that, I made the short walk over to the library on my own. As I walked, I went over my plans.

Alright, so we'll go to dinner, and we'll dance for a couple songs while we're there. After that, find out if she wants to go anywhere for dessert. Already got the carriage rides to and from, so I don't have to worry about that. I got my coin purse, so I can actually pay... I feel like I'm forgetting something, though... What am I...- Flowers! Duh! I made a quick detour to the flower sisters' shop, and bought a half-dozen roses. With the final piece in hand, I resumed my trip to the library. Upon arrival, I took a second to readjust my suit, making sure everything was tightened properly and as straight as I could get it. I knocked on the door, and noticed the carriage I hired for the evening coming around the corner a couple blocks away as Twilight's voice came from the other side.

"Coming!"

Don't make the joke, Zephyr. Don't make it, don't make the joke... Grrnngh!

Any further thoughts of any kind were swept away as the door opened to show Twilight standing there. She was wearing a purple knee-length dress, just a shade off from her own fur color, with dark blue ankle-high socks and purple hoof-shoes. Her hair had been pulled back into a tight bun, and she was wearing just enough makeup to accentuate her features. The dress itself hugged her body snugly, showing off the curves of her hips, with just enough cleavage to excite my imagination.

"You look... gorgeous." She blushed.

"Um, thanks. You look pretty good, too." I shifted my hand, and I suddenly remembered that I had flowers for her.

"Oh, these are for you." I (rather clumsily) offered them to her, and she took them.

"Thank you! They look delicious!" Never going to get used to that. "Give me just a second, so I can put them in a vase." She went back inside, and I turned around as the carriage pulled up. The driver gave me a questioning look.

"You're dressed up pretty fancy. You going on a date?"

"Yeah, why?"

"With Twilight Sparkle?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know her older brother is Captain of the Royal Guard, right?"

"I'm aware." He shrugged.

"As long as you know what you're in for." I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to my date as she came back.

"Shall we be off, my dear?" I bent my elbow and offered it to her as she giggled.

"Yes, thank you." She looped her arm around mine, and I led her from the door to the carriage and opened the door for her. I followed her in, and the driver started off. The ride was short, and we stepped out a few minutes later in front of Fancy Fields. We went in, and I saw Lemon Drops standing at the reservation table again. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw me, and I decided to keep myself as professional as possible, ignoring any moves she might try to make on me.

"Hello, welcome to Fancy Fields."

"I have a reservation for seven o'clock. Arvrkar." She checked her list, grinning mischievously the whole time like there was an inside joke taking place.

"Yes, here it is. Follow me, and I'll show you to your table." She pulled a pair of menus out from her desk, and led us out to the seats next to the dance floor, once again swaying her hips more than she should have. I kept my gaze firmly on the back of her head, though, out of respect for the fact that I was on an actual date. And with a much more attractive mare, to boot. The band was already playing, but there were only a few couples dancing on the floor when we arrived. Once at the actual table, I decided to use what little knowledge I had of being a gentleman, and pulled out Twilight's chair for her before sitting down myself. Once we had our menus, Lemon Drops left, and we were left in somewhat awkward silence. I picked out a relatviely plain salad quickly, and I took a few moments to figure out what the hell I was going to do for small talk. Long before I was ready, though, she put down her menu. Fortunately, that extra burst of panic was enough to give me an idea.

"So, how have you been lately, anyway? I don't think we've hung out for a while, now. You been up to anything other than the town emergencies lately?"

"Yes, actually. I've been working on a new potion that will let non-unicorns teleport on their own. I haven't quite got it down, yet, though. Pinkie's been helping me test it. Last time, it turned her into a white pegasus for an hour."

"Well that's not right." She sighed.

"No, it's not. I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong. I've gone over the formulae time and time again, but the potion itself just doesn't want to work."

"Well, if nothing else, you now have a potion that can turn earth ponies into pegasi." She suddenly perked up in surprise.

"Oh my gosh, you're right! I didn't even think of it like that!"

"You just thought of it as another failure, didn't you?"

"Um, well... yeah."

"Twilight, I've said it before, I'll say it again: You are way too hard on yourself." I sighed. From the day we met, I had seen her do some amazing things, from facing down Discord to helping Luna fit in with modern society better. And yet somehow, she managed to make herself completely miserable at the slightest little mistake. To be fair, it kept her from getting a big head, but she needed to learn how to see the silver lining.

"I know, I know." Her sudden speech and drooped eyes and ears snapped me from my thoughts. "It's just... so frustrating, when all the math checks out, all the formulae line up, and all the paperwork says that 'x' plus 'y' equals 'z', and then I try to do it in the lab, and 'x' plus 'y' ends up equating to 'random other output'. It's like trying to tame an Ursa." She planted her head on her fists, and I knew I needed to turn this conversation around quick. Improv skills, don't fail me now!

"Twilight, I have a question for you." She looked up sadly.

"Hmm?"

"How long have you been Celestia's student?" She cocked an eyebrow in surprise, then made a face as she did the math in her head.

"Um, a little over ten years, why?"

"How many times has Celestia said the words; 'you failed' to you without the words 'did not' between them?" She resumed her thinking face for a moment, but we were interrupted by the waiter. We gave him our orders, and he left us alone, allowing Twilight to continue thinking about the answer to my question. After almost a full minute, she finally spoke.

"Once, that I can remember. I wanted to learn how to cook, and I somehow set half the kitchen on fire."

"What were you making?"

"An omelette." Her ability to weaponize cooking utensils suddenly became frighteningly high, but I reminded myself of the point of this line of questioning, and moved on.

"So, aside from that, you haven't failed a single assignment. Correct?" She nodded. "So what makes you think you'll fail this time?" She opened her mouth to respond, then shut it again and looked down at her lap when she realized she didn't have an answer to that. I could practically hear the gears turning in her head as her own steadfastness suddenly became readily apparent to her. She looked back at me with a smile.

"You're right, Zephyr. I won't fail. I'll keep trying until I get it right!" I chuckled.

"That's the spirit. I keep telling you, Twilight, you're smarter than you let yourself think. And I think that's our food coming over now." As a matter of fact, it was. Two huge (for me, anyway) salads were deposited on the table, and we started eating immediately. The conversation moved to more mundane topics, what my latest jobs were, what books the library had gotten in, etc. Eventually, though, the band started up a song I actually knew, and I decided to make something happen. I stood up, moved next to Twilight, and offered her my hand with a little half-bow.

"May I have this dance, my dear?" She smiled in slight amusement and nodded.

"Of course." She took my hand, and we moved onto the dance floor as the main waltz of the song began. Her steps were somewhat uncertain at first, but I had taken actual lessons when I was in high school, and I had gotten enough practice after being brought here that I could lead the dance rather effectively. I was enjoying myself quite thoroughly, not really paying attention to anything other than Twilight's eyes as we spun, sparing just enough awareness to not hit anyone, or anything. Eventually, though, her gaze flicked away, and she huddled closer to me, like she was trying to hide.

"What's wrong?" I whispered under my breath.

"Everypony's watching us." I took a quick glance around, and sure enough, almost every pair of eyes in the restaurant was focused squarely on us.

"So? Let them stare. All it means is that they think we're worth watching. It's not like they're going to do anything to us. Don't worry about it." I held her a little tighter, and she relaxed a bit at what little safety the gesture meant. Eventually, the song ended, and we went back to our table, along with the other two or three couples that had been dancing. And while the staring didn't follow us back to the table, I could tell that it had really gotten under Twilight's skin. She couldn't stop fidgeting, and I knew there was something else bugging her. So, when the waiter came back to find out if we wanted dessert, I did the best thing I could think of.

"Twilight, do you want to stay?" She tried to force a smile, but her ears betrayed her desire to run out as fast as she could. She had them flat against her skull, twitching occasionally in what seemed to be fear, if her quickened breathing was any indication.

"We can if you want, Zephyr, I don't mind." I shook my head.

"Nah. I'm still pretty full from the salad. I'll just take the check, thanks." He returned a few seconds later with what I owed, and I wrote him a check of my own, instead of counting out all the bits. Once that was done, Twilight and I headed back out to the carriage, and headed back to the library.

Author's Note

That reference was too easy.

Also, this would have come out a lot sooner, but I lost about a thousand words when the site went down. I couldn't remember what I had initially put down, so it's not as good as I would have liked, either. That said, I hope you all enjoy it anyway.