The Sexiest Man in Equestria
One-Man Band
Previous ChapterNext ChapterI woke up the next morning to a face full of purple. I snorted lightly as some of it got in my nose, then moved my head so it wouldn't happen again. I slid a hand up the body of the purple, and found breasts. Somewhere in the back of my sleep-addled mind, I realized it was Twilight, who I had found sleeping in my bed when I got home the previous night. My hand moved up again, and I heard her whimper. I lfted my head up, and placed it on her shoulder, nuzzling her cheek as my brain finally started waking up fully. Apparently, the events of the previous day had taken more out of me than I thought.
"You awake, Twilight?"
She nuzzled back as she nodded. I finally managed to get my eyes open, and saw that she was using my other arm as a pillow.
That explains why I couldn't feel my arm. I flexed my fingers, just to be sure I still could. Satisfied I wouldn't need an amputation, I resumed nuzzling Twilight, moving the rest of my body over her as I did. I managed to free my arm, and pulled her against me, squeezing as I moved my lips to hers, and held her in a long, slow kiss. I pulled away, and she buried her face in my shoulder.
"That article is still bothering you, isn't it?"
She nodded.
"Well, I already talked to the Crusaders about it. They're going to fix it today, so that should be the end of it."
She held me a little tighter in appreciation. I frowned.
"This whole thing has really got you down, huh?"
She nodded again, and I sighed.
"Well, unfortunately, I still have jobs to do, so I can't stay here all day. You, however, are more than welcome to." I kissed her head.
"Thank you," she whispered.
I gave her a final nuzzle, then got up and got dressed to go out.
"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, Twilight. I'll be back later."
--
Once again, I was sought out while between jobs by several mares. This time, though, most of them were apologizing. Apparently, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had spent most of the night making their own special edition of the paper, and had sent it out first thing in the morning, revealing who they were, what had actually happened, as well as apologizing for everything. I also had one mare come running up to me, breathless, asking for Twilight. I told her to come to my house that evening if she wanted to see Twilight, and she reluctantly agreed. Beyond that, though, the day went smoothly. Arrive at a house, fix a problem, leave, repeat. As I was headed home, though, I noticed the Crusaders walking down a side street, heads hung low. I fell in step with them, listening to their conversation.
"So now what?" Scootaloo asked from the middle of the group.
"Ah dunno," Apple Bloom answered from ahead of her. "Diamond Tiara's already got the paper printin', Ah don't see any way tah stop her."
Sweetie Belle sniffled. I scowled at the mention of Diamond Tiara. That little brat and her father, aptly named Filthy Rich, had been a thorn in my side since my arrival. Filthy had a bad habit of being overly confident and proud, but his daughter was just plain despicable. She and her friend Silver Spoon were the epitome of spoiled rich kids. Their parents were completely useless in fixing the issue, as well, believing that the horror stories the other foals told of the duo's misdeeds were simply playground exaggerations. I knew from experience that they were not. Those two little demons were either completely ignorant of the pain they caused, or were truly vicious creatures. I wasn't sure which it was, but this was the last straw for me. Those two, Tiara especially, needed to be taught a lesson, and it was time I stepped in. Cheerilee wouldn't like it one little bit, but that mare was as stubborn as they come when it came to being the one in charge of her class. I would have to take care of her, as well. First, though...
"Well, I was hoping she'd be smart this time, but I guess not."
All three of the fillies jumped, previously unaware of my presence, and huddled together at the look on my face. I softened my expression, set down my tools, and knelt down, wrapping my arms around them and pulling them in a tight hug.
"You should have come straight to me when this started. Let me guess, she has some pictures of you three going out today, doesn't she?"
They all relaxed in my grip, and Sweetie grabbed me back as she started crying. I pet her mane as she did, while listening to the other two.
"We're sorry, Zephyr," Apple Bloom said, barely able to look at my eyes, "we just figured it wasn't that important. You and everypony else have lots of things to do, so we tried to handle it on our own."
"Yeah," Scootaloo added, "we didn't want anyone else to have to deal with our problem."
I shook my head.
"Don't worry about whether the rest of us are busy or not. Next time, just tell us. Your sisters, me, Cheerilee, somebody. I know you're all in a hurry to grow up, but trust me, enjoy the lack of responsibilities while you can. Let someone else deal with bigger problems like this. Now, how about telling me what's going on?"
They did. Apparently, Diamond Tiara had told Featherweight to take pictures of them, as well, and she had used the pictures as leverage against the Crusaders. The pictures had already been put into the evening paper, though, along with stories to match. I held the three fillies closer and growled reflexively. This had gone on long enough. I wasn't going to sit back and let the system fail any longer. That little brat had caused far more than enough suffering for one pony, and it was time to knock her down a peg or ten. Before I could do that, though...
"Pinkie!" I called. A few seconds later, she popped out of a barrel, slumping over the edge as she panted. I had learned very quickly that Pinkie had two very specific traits: First, she could do things that made no sense sometimes. Whether appearing out of a barrel, or making objects appear from nowhere, to her Pinkie Sense, the mare did things occasionally that just could not be explained. The second thing I learned was that she was also incredibly dependable. If something needed to be done, Pinkie would get it done. And right now, I needed to make sure this got done.
"Yeah, Zephyr?" she panted.
"These three need to get home. Can you take them?"
She nodded.
"Sure, sure! Is something happening?"
"It will be, and I need to go deal with it. Just try to keep them away from crowds, okay?"
She gave me a thumbs-up.
"No problemo, Zephyr! Come on, girls, I'll show you the sneaky roads."
The three of them said goodbye, and followed after Pinkie, who still looked tired, but at least capable. I got up and walked back to my house. Outside, the mare from that morning was waiting for me. I told her to wait there, then went in and told Twilight about her. Initially, she didn't want to go, but I managed to get her to go downstairs after a little prodding. The conversation was fairly pleasant, and short, with the mare apologizing profusely several times before she left. After a little more prodding and pointing out the state the library had probably fallen into in her absence, Twilight went back to her home as well, allowing me to retrieve my guitar, one of the few possessions I had, and go out into the fading light.
Time for this to end.
--
Filthy Rich sits at the head of his dining table, chewing another bite of salad as he thinks back through the day. His accounting firm had had very few errors today, most of which were dealt with swiftly and easily. The only thing to take care of now was the latest problem his daughter was a part of. He looks down the twenty-two-seat table at Diamond Tiara, who is practically shovelling the food into her mouth, and sighs.
"Diamond," he begins, "would you like to explain to me what happened today?"
He can see her roll her eyes at the question, and then put down her fork.
"Easy. Those stupid blank-flanks at school decided to get me in trouble again. I was just doing my job. I was supposed to get papers sold, I got papers sold. They pulled out, I needed new material. Simple as that. It's not like I did anything wrong. They're just way too sensitive."
Filthy sighs as Diamond pushes away her plate.
"May I be excused?" She raises an eyebrow expectantly.
Knock knock knock
Both ponies at the table turn to the entrance to the dining room. Someone is at the front door. They see the butler pass by, and Filthy gives his daughter a stern look.
"No. Not until I hear everything that happened."
The following staring match is interrupted by the sound of a guitar echoing down the halls towards them, quickly accompanied by the Music of Harmony. It is no happy song, though, and whoever is playing is getting closer as the music becomes almost frantic.
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Filthy moves behind the table, and Diamond Tiara quickly joins him, unsure of who had forced their way into the house. As the singing begins, though, the figure comes into view.
Him! Somewhere in the back of his mind, Filthy is cursing at the human, that wretched creature which he had always known was dangerous. To what little remains of the frightened pony's conscious thoughts, this is proof of the danger of having predators in pony society, but as the first verse closes, visions begin to play across every flat surface of the room. He sees himself, sending away ponies he had deemed useless, and then the ultimate fate he had delivered them to: death. Cold and alone, on the side of the road, or lost in a forest, or starving in an abandoned building, because no one else would hire them.
Then the visions change, to show his daughter, ruining lives with words, sending foals home hurt and crying as they run from the pony they see as a monster.
Then the visions begin to move forward with the second verse, showing the consequences of the path Filthy and Diamond are walking. More unemployed, reduced to thieves. More classmates, hurt so deeply by his daughter's razor tongue that they end the torment themselves.
Then further forward with the second chorus, as he hands his company down to Diamond...
...and she hires lawyers to take everything else, too. The court sends him to a retirement home. He gets no visitors, not even his own daughter, and the ponies there remember who he was, and how he treated others, and they choose to ignore his existence. He continues to age, and is soon on his deathbed, cold and alone, just like all those other ponies he deemed worthless. There are only a few old business partners at his funeral, there to merely try and elevate themselves above each other, bragging about the deals they made and the scams they'd pulled.
Diamond Tiara is too busy throwing another party that week to come.
Time moves forward again, showing Diamond Tiara's future as it will be. There are parties, and false friends, and money, and backstabbing business partners as the company she inherited is slowly but surely taken, piece by piece, by investors and salesmen. Before long, she owns nothing. She is informed of her new lack of funds, and evicted from her penthouse. She is informed of her removal as CEO, and locked out of the boardroom. She is informed of her dismissal from the company, and is kicked out of the building. That night is cold, and a young mare who just entered heat is a prime target for the stallions who prowl the streets without morals. At the age of twenty-eight years old, Diamond Tiara is raped and kidnapped by five stallions. She is sold on the black market as a slave. Two weeks later, she can take no more of her new owner's demands, and takes her own life with a shard of a broken crystal wine glass as the song ends. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara look up at the human, the predator, the one they thought a monster, to see a look of pity and disappointment. The tears flow from them both without resistance, and both wonder how a single look can hurt so much.
"That," the human says, "was your future. The Music of Harmony does not lie, as I'm sure you know, and I can only influence it so much. I very seriously suggest you rethink how your actions affect others." He turns and leaves, and the two ponies sitting on the floor hold each other as they weep. The words are true, and the knowledge that there is no one else to blame for their fates sinks deeper than any blade ever could.
And it hurts more than anything they've ever felt.
Author's Note
I find Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich to be deplorable. Silver Spoon shows some signs of being redeemable, but I wanted to punch Diamond in the mouth the first time she spoke.
Instead, though, I decided to have this happen, because it hurts more and I'll be using it a couple more times.
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