Maybe It's Just Me

by hailetheking

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2124

It was a hot day in Canterlot School of Excellence, and three ponies in their last year there decide to take a break. With their futures so close to them and their old familiar life being left behind, what are they thinking?

It was a hot day in Canterlot School of Excellence, and three ponies in their last year there decide to take a break. With their futures so close to them and their old familiar life being left behind, what are they thinking?

(For those people dealing with low self-confidence, just remember... it always seems worse than it actually is. Just hang in there.)

Published 2014-02-24 17:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-24 17:20:03 UTC

Three Ponies Under the Shade of a Tree

It was a hot day, and the three ponies sat under the shade of a tree in the field, watching their peers play with a Frisbee, throwing it as high as they can and stampeding after it. They had just been let out of a class early so they decided to take their break in the open fields.

“Man,” the leaf green pegasus whined, one of the three ponies sitting under the shade. “It’s almost over. It’s our last days.” He gave a deep sigh and looked up to the sky, his yellow mane blending in with the sunlight.

His two companions just solemnly looked to the ground, still trying to process the inevitable truth. They were all in their senior year of Canterlot School for Excellence, and this was the last regular school day before exams. Soon, they would all go their separate ways, some would try for becoming Royal Guards, others would make a bid for the Equestria Games, others would delve into the medical world and become doctors and Celestia knows what else. However, the only bad side to this was that they were leaving behind the familiar life they once knew, here in the CSE.

“I can’t believe my mom doesn’t want me to go to Trottingham for medicine school,” he lamented, throwing a rock he dug up from the ground. “She wants me to go to Canterlot Academy, and they don’t even teach the specific thing I like!”

The two ponies flanking him knew of this issue already. The one to his left was a small earth pony with a brown coat and an unkempt orange mane who was just pulling grass out of the ground for fun, enjoying the shade of the tree and the company of his companions. The other one on his right was a red unicorn with a black, curly mane that matched his eyeglasses, and he was listening to the pegasus talk about his problems, as he has done many times in the past three years they’ve been together.

“They didn’t let me go follow my dream!” the pegasus cried in anger, “And they even had the never to bring me to see Trottingham Academy! Can you imagine that? Being brought to the place you want to be and just having it yanked away from your hooves?”

His two friends nonchalantly nodded, letting the pegasus continue. “We’re growing up,” he muttered. “I’m afraid, you know? Afraid of the future...”

“Who isn’t?” the unicorn pointed out.

“Come on, Crimson Note, you’ve got it set. You’ll be a great doctor. You’re the smartest in class!” the pegasus exclaimed in response, “while I’m still not sure if I can do it, you know.”

He had a point, Lost Cause, the earth pony, thought to himself. Crimson was always one of the top two ponies in class. He’s the go-to guy if ever you need homework or tutoring.

“It’s the pressure that’s really killing me. My older brother always tells me, ‘Imagine how disappointed our parents would be if you didn’t become a doctor,’ and I think ‘Yeah, what if I can’t?’ Hell, why I wanted to go to Trottingham was to have a new start,” the pegasus continued, “I mean, I wanted to be known as that guy in the apartments of Trottingham, who has a lot of friends, but still gets to study and get high grades.“

Yeah, right, the brown stallion beside the green pegasus rolled his eyes. Like Crimson, he had known Bass Drop for three years. Maybe it’s just me, but I really can’t image Bass Drop actually studying. Being popular with others, yes. Studying? Nah. Nonetheless, the small pony kept his snout shut and continued to listen to his friend.

I’m the kind of pony who craves social interaction, you know? I want to be with other ponies. I can stay alone at home, yes, but the only way I survive that is if I’m playing a game online, with my friends. I want a fillyfriend and all that junk. Man, I’m not sure I can get a fillyfriend in the Academy. That’d be so bad,” the green pegasus grimaced.

The brown earth pony felt a bit indifferent to this problem, but at times he felt it, nonetheless. In this part of CSE, only stallions were allowed to be students, so interaction with the opposite sex was kind of scarce. Besides, Lost Cause laughed to himself, I never did have any luck with the mares.

“Hell, I might even end up being that guy who doesn’t have any friends and he only studies, because he tries to hang on to his old class so much,” the middle pony told his two friends.

“My worst fear is that when I grow up, go to med school and whatnot, I might not be me anymore,” Bass softly said, eyes blankly staring towards the open field in front of them. “I might totally change who I am. Maybe next time you see me after a few years, you wouldn’t even recognize me.”

The green pony paused for a while, reflecting on his thoughts. “Maybe one day, I’ll wake up, even if I’m a doctor, even if I’m rich, but one day, I might wake up and just be... unhappy.”

Inside his head, the brown earth pony couldn’t help but chuckle at this. I’m always unhappy, he thought, but I’m just more unhappy some days than in others. He didn’t say anything, of course. This philosophy helped him get through life in a way. No matter what we do, life will always be bad. Whining about it won’t do anything, and trying to change the world is useless. The best thing to do is to stand up, dig in your hooves, and take on the punishment head on, Lost Cause chanted his mantra mentally. Life is always going to be hopeless, so you better get used to it. The pony paused, and forced himself to recall the fun times he had with his class there in CSE. He always seemed to forget the good memories. Or you know, maybe it’s just me.

As much as he hated to admit it, Lost Cause was naturally detached. Detached from his parents, detached from his family members, detached from most of his friends from his hometown. He always felt sort of lonely, no matter what he did. He never trusted anypony completely for some reason. Something always made him feel... different back there. In a small town, there were very few ponies there, and oddly enough, they all seemed to be totally similar. The problem with a situation like that is when you’re different, there’s not really much breathing space.

That all changed when he moved to Canterlot. Here, ponies of all kinds gathered. He met ponies that acted similar to him. They shared similar interests, they had the same sense of humour they all had fun together. It was the first time he actually felt like he belonged somewhere. I wouldn’t be lying if I said that I’d lose a leg for these guys, Lost Cause told himself. Being lonely has had its toll on the earth pony however. Although he enjoys being with them and he’s happier hanging out with them, he’s more used to being lonely. Despite this, just having friends, real friends, somehow keep his morale going.

“Lost Cause,” Bass turned to his friend, who snapped out of his mental reclusiveness, “Why did you want to go to Canterlot Academy?”

The brown stallion thought for a while, but as always, the honest answer had to come up. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” the pegasus scoffed with a look of disbelief painted on his face. “How could you not know?”

The earth pony simply shrugged, “I just don’t know where I’m going with my life.”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” his green friend asked.

“I’m not sure. Rich?” Lost Cause gave a sheepish answer. He was never comfortable with this topic.

“Don’t you have any dreams?”

Lost Cause nonchalantly shook his head. The pegasus once again began to talk about his conundrum, but even if they were both there, Lost Cause knew that it was mostly directed to Crimson Note. My opinion and advice doesn’t really count for anything, the earth pony felt both happy and sad with this reminder. At least I can be left alone with my thoughts again.

Lost Cause did this a lot, sort of ‘drifting away’ from reality. It was relaxing actually, in a way. It was a dangerous habit though. More often than not, Lost Cause would find himself in what he now dubs “the reflective trance” in places he should be paying attention. Either way, Lost Cause did this unintentionally, with one thought leading to another until a whole web of thoughts has been weaved. This more or less kills him inside a bit, but in a way, it helps him deal with everything he experiences.

I never really thought about the future, he reflected on what his pegasus friend said about dreams. Maybe it’s because I’ve given up on life. Maybe it’s because I don’t see myself doing anything worthwhile. Hell, I don’t stand a chance.

The earth pony had to pull back another fact he usually ignores, just to keep things from getting too dark. I got accepted into two of the most prestigious schools in all of Equestria, Canterlot Academy and Equestria’s School for the Gifted. I shouldn’t be thinking that.

But as usual, the pony had to justify this. No, no. Everyone passes Canterlot Academy. All my friends got in, so that doesn’t really mean anything to my skill. I’m probably the worst. For Equestria’s School of the Gifted, in his group, only ten out of forty passed, but Lost Cause simply dismissed it as ‘dumb luck.’ All his friends were smarter than him, this he knew for a fact. He was one of the worst ponies out there.

Hell, not just the worst academically, but socially too. I’m loud, brash, insensitive, stupid, and I never have a middle point, I’m at either one extreme or the other. The brown pony sighed in his mind, being reminded of all of these traits he had. There is absolutely no positive side to being my friend. I’m useless and I’m a hassle to be around. I wonder why my friends still hang out with me. Probably because of pity. Again, Lost Cause had to look back at his memories. The times they shared over the three years. The laughs, the tears, the hardships, everything. He remembered how they were there for him whenever he was facing problems, and how he was there for them. He remembered the brotherhood they shared. Maybe it’s just me, he smiles to himself, and they actually do like me.

He sighed, because with all this talk of the future, he was forced to reflect on how he saw his future. He couldn’t help but see his future as bleak, lonely and dull. He would lose all contact with these friends he made, those friends who he shared so many great memories with, and he would be thrust into a completely different and strange world. He’d finally be growing up, and everything is going to change. Not all fun and games, he told himself. He realized now he was thinking about the future. He always has, but he’s been avoiding it for as long as he could. Now, the demons are knocking are at the door, and there’s no choice but to face them. It’s hopeless, he thinks, it’s all just going to fade away in a few days...

RING! RING! RING!

“Oh, there’s the bell,” Bass Drop said, getting on his hooves. “Come on, let’s go.”

The two ponies get up, and nudge Lost Cause, who was spacing out.

“What?” he absentmindedly replied.

“Come on,” Bass extends a hoof towards the small brown pony. “Let’s go.”

Lost Cause grabs his hoof and gets up, then the three walk back across the green field, towards the school. Looking to his companions, Lost Cause sees so many moments in their faces, so many times shared between them. It might all be a lie, and they might all hate me. All of this might not matter in a few days...

Still, the brown earth pony can’t help but feel a smile form on his face as he looked at his friends. Or maybe it’s just me.

Author's Note

I know it's really bad, but I just felt like posting it. Sort of a final hurrah if you ask me. I just ponified it because, well, yeah, no reason.