A Raccoon in a Pony World

by Bookish_Devil

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Anthro, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 6593

What do you do when you whined up in Equestria transformed into one of the greatest thieves of all video game history?

It all started ordinarily enough. Go out for the weekend with some friends attend a masquerade try to meet some chicks. That all goes away when the door to my hotel room doesn't lead out into the hall.

Now I'm stuck turned into an anthropomorphic raccoon with all the skills of a master thief and no way home.

(Writing this when I get bored or stuck writing my other story.)

Published 2014-02-25 01:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-17 21:41:07 UTC

Sly Cooper in: The game begins

Canterlot statue garden.

It has been a long time sense I last moved. I have been stuck standing here, trapped in stone. My only entertainment being tour groups and the rookie guard orientation. Hardly anything happened in this prison yard with no walls. The most eventful thing to happen in the last century was when Celestia’s nephew … oh what was his name Blue Balls? Eh, close enough. When he came through the garden with a bucket of paint and a brush. He ended up being caught while painting several, shall we say graphic images onto some of the statues.

Some of the other prisoners took to calling Discord, Dick face after that. I never did which ended up being a blessing. I may not have all was been branded a criminal or a villain or even a raccoon but everyone one earth learns certain rules about how to act. In this case, prison edict. In your typical prison, they’re three individuals you don’t start shit with: The warden, the person who has been in the longest, and the biggest bull in the pen. Simply put Celestia, myself, and Discord.

Most of you are probably wondering how I ended up here, I get to that eventually but for right now I more interested with what is happening with Discord. I watch as another school tour group go past all of us some are ignored others are made examples of over the last twenty years or so my statue has fallen out of vogue, but Discord. He always draws a crowd.

The former emperor of Equestria was always was a real entertainer even in stone he shocked and awed the crowd. This tour was different though, this time the his visage inspired an argument. Three little fillies were at the base of his statue arguing about what he represented. I watch as their argument becomes louder and more sincere and little hairline cracks began appearing all over Discords stone shell. Their teacher shut them up and moved the tour along.

I spent the rest of the morning watching as the cracks spread along Discord’s form flaking off in places revealing different parts of his mismatched body. Finally, the stone fell away from his eagle talon of a hand and with a snap and a flash of light he was free.

“Eh, finally more than an eon standing like that.” He began contorting his body in all sorts of impossible ways at one point he tied his body up into one big knot before flashing next me. “Ah, my favorite thief how did they manage to catch you anyway?”

I groaned. Thinking out what I wanted to say. “I tried to use an old cliche to find what you wanted.”

He leaned in before asking. “Which one?”

“That females hide things they don’t want found in their lingerie drawers. ”

He frowned at that. “How did that end with you in stone?”

“Celestia doesn’t have a drawer. She has a freaking walk-in closet that would but a Las Vegas sex shop to shame.” I say in an exacerbated tone.

Discord was taken back at this. “Do I even want to know?”

My mental tone goes smug and devious. “What I saw makes me wonder if she wasn’t pulling things from earth.”

“How would you know that?” He asked actually interested.

“D batteries. Pony tech tends to use crystal batteries. Now as interesting as this conversation is and I hate to impose but if you would be so kind?”

He gives me his trademark grin. “I suppose I do owe you something for the attempt, and for sharing that little tidbit.” He snaps his claws and my statue glows. Nothing happens. He starts stroking and pulling at his goatee. “Odd that should have let you out.”

I sigh. “Go have your fun and when you are on the throne again if you wouldn’t mind making another attempt.”

He gives me that smile you see on kids’ faces when they are told what they want to hear. He jumps up and hugs my statue. “I knew there was I reason I liked you always so flexible and practical. Never trying to stop my fun. Ta-ta see you later.”

With that, He teleported away leaving me to think about how all of this came to be.

It had all started innocently enough. I got a ticket from a buddy of mine who was working for an corporate vender trying to bring eroge to America or some BS like that. All I really knew about his job was he spent a lot of time on the phone speaking in Japanese. We got in on a Thursday and our room was covered until the Monday morning check out mostly by said company.
Anyone who has ever gone to one of the bigger conventions knows that Thursday is rather pointless for actual convention activities unless you had a free pass to enter the dealer’s rooms before the general-public was admitted. When you get that, many collectors and artisans in one room the air becomes charged. Some dealers make a profit before the convention even opens selling to other dealers. The real high-end stuff never makes it to opening day.

I watched two men haggling over a first Japanese printing of Dragon Ball signed by Akira Toriyama; he even had the providence to verify the signature. At another both two dealers debating how they could try to charge for a mint copy of Final Fantasy 7 and what they would take at bare minimum.

One booth really drew me in this guy was making working copies of eye-wear from different shows and games. His sign said he was integrating Google Glass displays to make semi functional replicas. While the price had come down over the years the tech was not that cheap. I was about to leave when something caught my eye. He had a set working in a Sly Cooper mask. I had chosen this costume for the masquerade ball and these would look great with what I brought with me.

“How much?” I asked him holding up the eye mask.

He looked it over quickly before saying. “Eh that’s an old one made that two generations back so $300.”

Dam that was better than I was expecting. “Sold. Can you show me where the ports are on it?”

He nodded and for the next fifteen minutes, I got a quick lesson on how to use them.

Friday came and well nothing really happens at the convention until the opening ceremonies. Which I skip you go to one opening ceremony you been to them all. Instead, I spend my time getting ready. I was wearing grey slacks, blue knee high boots, and a blue shirt with a yellow collar. I started putting on detail pieces a blue newsboy cap with a pair of grey ears, a yellow belt with Sly’s emblem as the buckle with a tail tied to it, a red thigh pouch and backpack, and blue gloves with yellow wrist covers. I pick up my cane and was almost to the door when I remembered, my new mask.

I go over to my nightstand and unplug both my mask and phone. I tuck my phone into the pouch and put on the mask. The weight of it feels good and the leather it was made out of felt cool on my skin. I turn it on and start heading for the door. I feel a little charge of energy, nothing much I reach for the door handle expecting a shock nothing happens.

“That was a little anticlimactic.” I say I turn to face the door and make sure it closes. With a click, the door locks and disappears.

I pull myself out of my reminiscing long enough to notice several guards hauling something into the gardens. It’s Discord. How long was I out. They couldn’t have gotten him that quick.

I reach out with my mind. ‘What happened?’

I can feel him pout a bit so I ask. “Celestia and Luna again?”

“No.” He finally volunteers. “Six new bearers of the elements of harmony.”

“Elements of harmony?” I ask.

He perks a little at my confusion. “You never figured out what hit you did you?”

“No idea. I heard a noise spun around in a defensive stance and boom. One trippy light show later, I’m a statue. You know what happened after that.”

“Yeah, I don’t from you for a week and then I end up in stone as well.”

We sit there both of us sulking over our failures at some point I fell asleep.

When I came to I felt a strange tingling sensation and it was dark. Looking out across the garden, I watch as three beings creep forward. All of them are wearing black body suits and seem to be trying to be stealthy but failing in different ways.

One of them was skipping causing her bright pink tail to bounce up and down. Not to mention she was walking down the middle of the road.

The small one actually seemed to know what he was doing. I heard him actually use common sense, something so rare in this world it might as well be a super power. He was eating ice cream and walking next to the pink bouncing tail.

The third was the worst. She looked like a bad Solid Snake cosplay. Eye patch, bandana, and darting quickly from place to place. It was pathetic. So much bright pink and purple exposed how did she even think she could sneak like acting like this?

As the three of them got closer to my statue, I felt the sensation grow stronger. Slowly as the crept closer small cracks spread across my body, I turn my thoughts towards Discord. ‘Looks like I’m up. I would try to let you out but you know I really don’t have much in the way of magic.’

I feel him groan and I get and begrudging. ‘Your right. Good luck maybe the crime spree you cause will spark enough chaos for me to get out.’

I was about to respond when the cracks grew more and I lost whatever connection I had with the other statues. I watch as they freeze in the garden, the all strike stupid poses and pretend to be statues. A lone night guard walked past all of us I could see him subtly shake his head. It was obvious he knew who the three of them and didn’t care what they were up too.

He left and they all started moving on. After they crossed in front of me, the stone began falling off turning to dust before it hit the ground. What little magic the world gave me came rushing back. Stealth, stamina, agility, and dexterity this world made me better than Sly was in the games. The only real magic I could cast was the equivalent of a smoke bomb.

I spun my now freed cane in my hand and debated following them. With a shrug, I started after them. I kept hearing the purple one talking something about time and the Star Swirl the bearded wing. Hearing where I think they’re headed I dart up to the rooftops and follow them. What is it with ponies and never looking up. They have both flying enemies and their own civilians can fly so why do they never look up?

I dart in front of them getting far enough ahead to be able to keep them in sight but not be heard I say. “Map.” My right eye starts to display words. ‘No information available.’ “Access network.” New words appear. ‘Scanning… Scanning… No networks detected’ “Auto-map.” ‘Command confirmed beginning Auto-map.’ The display darkens and I know its recording everything it sees and making a map out of it.

I watch as they keep heading my way. I think I could track them with my eyes closed. I still don’t get why the guards are ignoring them. I mean bright colors, hushed but still too loud voices, and they are wearing what looks like black neoprene suits. Most of these ponies walk around naked and the guards don’t wonder why these three are dressed like burglars from a C movie. I watch them jimmy a window and fail to sneak through it I give them two minutes before I jump over to the other building and enter via a clerestory window so I can keep to the rafters. I watch as they walk right past the wing they were talking about earlier. Rather than follow them around I hop down to the ground and let myself into the wing.

Sly Cooper in: Manic Mares

The gate on the wing was easy enough to circumvent. I could fit my hand through the bars and turn the knob on the other side. The ponies never seem to understand simple things like practical doors and locks. Wouldn’t be the first time I got into what they consider high security areas with what amounted to a smile and a handshake.

I keep my ears open and just stroll through the stacks. I just watch waiting for something to jump out at me. The wing was enormous two floors all most 20,000 square feet of what appeared to be original manuscripts, journals, and rough diagrams of various magical subjects. To me the question was not what was valuable but what would be missed quickly and carried easily.
Ten minutes in and my top choices so far were an orrery made out of gemstones and precious metals, a silver astrolabe with to my dearest Luna etched on to the case, and Star Swirl’s hat. I keep looking with the for something to take but with exception of the hat it’s not like any of these items are irreplaceable. I was about to give up and just take the hat when I saw another locked door. Unlike the one to get in here, this one actually locked functional.

Two locks on this door but something was telling me that was wrong. I pulled out a magnifying glass and my lock picking kit from my leg bag. Looking over the lock I start to notice what was irking me about the door. One of the locks had considerably more ware on it than the other. It’s an old trick a would be thief would try to turn both locks and end up either re-locking the door or tripping an alarm.

“Okay remember the first rule of burglary. Hurry up and slow down. You have all the time in the world to do what you need.” After reciting my little mantra my nerves relax and I know what to do.

I reach into my kit and pull out a tool most people wouldn’t understand. It looks like an over large credit card with a square notch cut near one end. I slide the tool into the jam above the locks and slowly bring it down towards where the bolts should be.

When the card stops, I know which lock to pick. Just to be safe I run the test in reverse and stop at the same bolt. Now for the triple check. Celestia was clever with the wear on the lock faces being reversed; but let’s see if she was downright devious. Holding the card tight on the bolt I pull a torsion wrench out of my kit, the ponies have old school style locks I haven’t had to use a rake sense my arrival. All of the locks in Equestria either used magic or were simple warded locks. “Let’s see if they discovered the lever or the chub lock, sense I was sealed.” Using the wrench, I felt the internal workings of the lock.

“Still warded. To easy.” I pulled a little metal bar shaped like an L from my kit and not even a minute later, I felt the bolt slide out and hit the card. “Full reversal. You’re learning Celestia.” The top lock operated the bottom bolt and vice versa. I took a minute to reset the lock I picked and just as easily opened the other lock. My hand slides up the jam and I know I did it.

Opening the door slowly I check for tells. I was disappointed to find none. No stripe of paper being held up by the door. No trip wire to detach. “Still too trusting.” Crossing the threshold, I find a small privet study. I was about to leave when I notice the air still smells like horse. Someone had been in here for a long time recently. Looking over the paper work on the desk, I find several journal entries and a few notes between the princesses.

Looking the notes over I find the all reference a plan Celestia had, and Luna was urging caution. This intrigued me, this was something I could use to announce my return. Half of the notes mentioned three things repeatedly Star Swirl’s last journal, a name Twilight Sparkle a student of Celestia’s, and the elements of harmony.

There it was again that name. They had to be something of considerable power to stop Discord. I had literally seen him turn lead to gold and then to cheese. That kind of power cannot be faked. Looking around the little workroom, I find more notes and some excerpts from the book. Using the computer in my mask note these words and use a recognition program to flip through the books in the room.

Four books in I find it in the upper left hand corner of the desk on an old book-stand. It was a hand bound volume with a near black cover bearing an almost childish drawing of a galaxy with a few constellations on it. “Wait Star Swirl the bearded. I doubt any parent is cruel enough to name their child with the moniker the ‘bearded’ so.” Looking back at the cover swirling stars. “He just drew his name out in pictogram.” Using the glass, I look for any key phrases from the notes in the book. By the end of the book, every phrase had been matched.

“You are coming with me.” I say to the book and proceed to place it in my backpack. In its place, I leave my calling card a two-toned blue raccoon head.

I close the door but don’t bother resetting the lock. Turning around I begin trekking my way back to the entrance. I am almost there when I hear a voice

“Huh. How'd I miss that? Look at all those priceless magic scrolls. There are more than I ever imagined!” It sounds like a frantic teenaged girl.

“Twilight, the guard!” Hyper slightly manic but still another girl.

The first voice is speaking again. “ *gasp* What do we do, what do we do?”

Now a male voice joins them. “Hey, Twilight, haven't seen you in a while. Let me open that for yah.

I hear the gate swing open and I bolt up a bookcase, and hide in the shadowy corner against the wall.

The first voice is back this Twilight Sparkle chuckling nervously. “Thanks!”

From my vantage point, I watch them scouring the collection looking for some type of time spell.

I was just there waiting for them to leave the sun was up I had been here for hours watching and listening to them. After the sun came up the purple one… Twilight read a scroll and then seemed to teleport away for a moment. Only to come back looking frazzled. I wasn’t really paying attention but caught the summery of what happened.

Let me give you the cliff notes. She was too caught up to let herself speak when she traveled back in time. Therefore, instead of enjoying a mildly eventful week, she spent it in a lather convinced the world was going to end. ‘Time travel never an option it can cause more problems than it solves.’

I was getting impatient and was thinking about just slipping past them when who should show up but Celestia or as all the prisoners called her old sun butt. She chatted with Twilight for a moment exchanging mindless pleasantries. When a guard burst in panting. He slammed out a quick salute.

Celestia looked at the guard and seemed to pail under her white coat. “Report.” She all most barked.

This seemed to shock the three I followed in. ‘Probably have never seen her mad.’

The guard stood a little straighter sipping into the pony equivalent of parade rest. “Princess the most recent patrol through the statue garden is reporting a missing statue.”

Celestia seemed even more shaken from this news.

The guard swallowed nervously. “The problem your highness, is that we all know which statue is gone but not the circumstance behind the statue. We don’t have any records indicating that it was anything more than art.”

I could practically read Celestia’s mind only the oldest statues would not have records.

She finally asked the question I was waiting for. “Which one was it?”

The guard answered. “The one that looked like one of the raccoon folk from the southern swap lands.”

Raccoon folk that was news. Here I thought I was the only bipedal talking raccoon in this world. Then again, it shouldn’t have surprised my considering all the different races in the garden not counting the statues.

The purple one spoke this time. “Is there any danger should we get the elements of harmony?”

Celestia turned to Twilight and said. “No, or at least not yet.” She turned to the guard. “Send an alert to all of city guards across the nation. Have them increase patrols on all museums, art galleries, and banks in every city, town, and village. Dismissed.”

The guard snapped a salute and took off at a brisk trot leaving the room.

“Princess?” The little dragon I now see. When she turned to him, he asked. “Why guard those places? Why not search for him?”

Ah, common sense this little guy was going places.

To my surprise, she gave him a warm smile. Before answering his question. “Spike, the reason for choosing this course of action is simple. Let me ask a question of all of you. If you wanted to catch Pinkie Pie here what would you do?”

The three of them think it for a minute before they started to give their answers.

Spike answered. “Put a giant cake in the middle of a trap.”

Twilight. “Post flyers for a giant party and have the guards attend out of uniform. ”

Pinkie. “Oh I know. Convince the writer to use the power of dramatic convenience to force me to appear were you wanted.”

I think all four of us just stared at her for a moment after that. Celestia recovered and cleared her throat.

“Yes good ideas. Know consider our opponent is arguably the greatest thief Equestria has ever faced.”

Twilight smiled getting the idea. “Your waiting for him to try and steal something.”

Celestia beamed at Twilight and I nearly retched. The pervert pony princess ruling over her subjects in what appeared to be the equivalent of a fifth grader trying to teach kindergarten. ‘How did they beat Discord? How has no one taken over this place? I should have dressed as Tennessee Kid Cooper with the gun canes I could have concurred this world.’

I watched them all file out of the wing before I moved from my hiding place. Stretching I weighed my options on getting out of here without being seen. When it hits me why leave? ‘I know their magic cannot detect me. Celestia would never think to search her own castle for me.’

With that settled I climbed back into the rafters to wait for nightfall.

Sly Cooper in: Laying Low

Author's Note

Here you go rikusorasephiroth. You made me remember I was writing this.

To address some questions asked in the comments section.
1. Every character in this is some level of anthro. Anyone who has either played the games, read the comics, or seen the trailer for the movie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbXEKZVonko) can picture what I am trying to portray the characters as.
2. The sex tag is there for innuendo, some flirting, maybe if it seems right a make-out session.
3. He has limited magic and resources. What he pulls out of the bag is what he will have for the rest of the story. Barring him finding something useful (non magical), or making more smoke pellets.

On a side note I will be making a my first blog post concerning this or any story. spot?The topic Luna or Twilight which one is taking the lead detective

Sly Cooper in: Laying Low

Close to fifteen hours later, I felt it was getting dark enough to make my move. Those gray light hours just before the sun and moon, completely trade places are wonderful for sneaking around. No one questions someone moving quickly with their head down. I could almost walk down the main roads but decided to stick to side streets and alleyways. While most of these ponies were oblivious to what is going on around them the guard were not, I could see them out in force. It seemed like the orders Celestia gave them would work to my advantage.

I watched as four blocks down a small detachment of guards entered a bank that should have been closed by now. ‘Classic mistake. She should have just increased numbers and sped up the rotation. She needed to increase the surveillance on the rest of the city not on possible targets.’ I kept these thoughts to myself and made my way slowly to the castle proper. I was lucky that the statue gardens and the archives were only one tier down from the citadel. With all of the white marble and the layered structure the place reminded me of somewhere put I just couldn't remember. Then it hit me and I felt like an idiot. “If the city starts looking anymore like it, I am going to have to begin calling it Minas Tirith.”

I needed to work my way around the innermost wall until I found either a section with no guards or a building higher than the wall.
As I walk, my feelings of disappointment keep growing. Close to two thousand years and so little technological advancement. The only real changes I could see were either in sanitation or that train I heard whistling. ‘At least they aren’t throwing chamber pots out windows anymore.’ The thought causing me to shudder.

A little while later, I find my building. No guards on the wall across from it and a flagpole going a good ten feet above the level of the wall. While the thirty foot span between the two was pushing it. I gave the surrounding streets a quick once over to see if anyone was near me or watching.

Seeing nothing, I jump up and begin climbing my way to the roof. Once I was up on top I pull off my bag and start going through it. ‘Let’s see smoke pellets, telescoping mirror, extra cards, cords , iPod, binocucom, solar charging pad, and book I just stole darn were is it? Oh duh back pouch.’ I give everything a quick once over before arranging everything and starting up the flagpole. At the top, I see why there are no guards on the wall. At this point, the guard barracks shares a common wall with the wall.

‘I will just have to hope none of the guards look up.’ When I reached the top of the pole, I slowly eased my way onto the ball at the top. Giving the streets and castle grounds around me a quick survey, I throw myself-off the flagpole towards the castle and pull a handle on my bag. The para-glider I somehow obtained with my powers burst out of the backpack and I slowly glided over the castle wall.

Landing was tricky. The wind had come up near the end. While this had made crossing the gap easier it gave me a new problem.
I stood there weight back on my heels trying to stop. The wind kept blowing slowly dragging me to the edge of the wall and almost pulled me over the line and onto the barracks roof.

For a tense minute, I thought I was going over. If that happened good bye stealth. With its wood slat roof there was no way landing on it would be anywhere near as quiet as my landing on the wall. Then I felt it, the wind slowed and my weight and grip slowly brought both myself and my para-glider back towards the middle of the wall’s walkway.

I put all my weight into dragging myself back. Step by step, I slowly inched my way back from the ledge, when the wind suddenly stopped. I went tail over teakettle. I ended up falling backwards. I tried to roll with it to avoid hurting myself.
It didn’t work out like I hoped. I ended up rolling into a merlon smacking my head against it as I came to a sudden stop. I sat there trying to blink the stars out of my eyes for a minute before a sudden thought jarred me back into motion. ‘What if the wind picks back up.’

With that thought galvanizing me into action, I began repacking my para-glider. Five minutes later and the guards none the wiser. I begin working my way towards the castle proper.

The first thing I did was Identify as many guards as possible. The walls seemed to be very lightly guarded for as far as I could see with the binocucom. It seemed to be more like a staging area for the airborne troops rather than a real fortification these days. Then again looking out on the city it was easy to tell why. The city itself was enormous, with several oblong tiers circling out from the mountain side each with its own half sized wall dividing it. The outermost seeming to have the biggest wall excluding the palace. “And in typical pony stupidity the gates are all in one straight line.” I just shook my head at that.

The inner court yard seemed to have fewer guards than the wall if that was possible. The ones I could see were congregating around a few side towers. ‘Must be the treasury buildings and the royal gallery.’ Again typical pony stupidity. In trying to prevent me from getting to my target they have given me carte blanche to use every other window, balcony, service entrance, and if they pulled anymore guards the front door.

With a casual ease I made my way to a point halfway between the front door and a guarded tower. It wasn't a perfect entry point but if I tried to circle to the back I could either be discovered or find even more guards. I made my way up to a window in a low crouch almost on all fours I moved directly under it.

I needed to check to see what was in the room but approaching I saw that either the door to the hall was open or a light was on in the room. Pulling my binocucom I cue up the camera function easing it up above the windowsill I take three quick pictures. Pulling it back down, I listen for a minute no noises from the room or around me. Here is where this idea could backfire. I had to study the photos to make sure the room was empty and that nothing I could knock over was near the window.

I gave my surroundings one last quick look before devoting most of my attention to the pictures. ‘Lets see what I’m working with.’ The pictures showed a sitting room both tastefully and lavish. Marble floor, but large area rug. ‘Going to want to do this first part barefoot less noise that way.’ I couldn't see anything but a poperee tray on the table in front of the window I would still take a quick look to either side before hoisting my way through. The final detail of relevance I noticed was that the light was not coming from an open door or lantern but from a crystal relief arching over the door frame depicting six ponies sitting in a cave as a blizzard raged at one edge of the image.

Taking the binocucom away from my eyes I reevaluated my surroundings. The only real change being that the sun was quickly setting. This was a lucky break I had a minute or two of near pitch black approaching depending on the lunar cycle. I quickly watched the wall in front of me and listened. No guards and the minutes seemed to crawl by as my adrenaline spiked speeding up my perception. I was waiting for the shadow of the wall that was spreading slowly down the wall to obscure the window. I nearly had it when I heard several of the guards make noises.

In a panic I dropped down even lower to the ground grabbing my tail to make sure it didn't rise into the air. Looking over at the guards making noise I pieced together what was causing them to make noise.

Several pieces of their armor were reflecting dark blue and a dark gold light. This was paired with the sun jerking below the skyline.
I didn't waste a second I shot upright and tried the window. It opened easily if only giving me barely enough room to squeeze in. I stuck my head in and looked both ways. I lucked out no lamps or candlesticks. I risked a little noise by diving through the window over the table, a quick role to deaden any possible sound my landing could make and I was in the palace with no one the wiser. Turned around and made sure nothing was disturbed by my entrance. I closed the window and put a petal back in the dish. ‘They’re ponies right so is this aromatic decoration or is it a candy dish with what could be the equivalent to trail mix?’

Taking the telescoping mirror out of my bag I inched over to the door and opened it a crack. A quick flick of my wrist and the pole the mirror was on extended. Sticking it out of the top of the door jam I slowly used it to look up and down the hall. No one was in this hall so I darted out into the corridor and silently eased the door closed behind me.

Once again I took to the ceiling to move along the halls in the castle. With the beams for the next level and the supports for the tapestries and chandeliers it was only a minor problem to move along in the palace. Now though I had a new problem. Where to hide? I wanted to stay in the palace itself; because it was both populated enough that a little missing food might not go noticed for a least a month, and it allowed me to keep an eye and an ear on any plans made to thwart my escape.

‘I need either a room that is out of use or an empty wall space somewhere between the throne room, war room, and the kitchen. Or I need to figure out how to rig up a bug and plant several of them in those rooms.’ With that last thought I let out a silent moan. It was times when I had thoughts like that, that made me wish I had been brought to this world with a guy dressed like Bentley. Sly was a master of disguise, a dexterous and proficient fighter, a gentleman thief of the highest caliber, but tech savvy he was not. Which made me James Bond without Q or a gun.

Ideally I wanted an out of the way bathroom or a pantry easy access to either food or water. I could convert my paraglider into a hammock and only have to worry about sneaking into rooms adjacent to my targets. following my nose I made my way deeper into the bowels of the castle. The smells telling me I was either getting close to the kitchen or the meadery.

I was near the kitchens I think when I found something that could serve my purposes nicely. I had opened a plain door to find a dumb waiter. I entered by stepping onto the cart closing the door behind me and checked the other side. Another door was there gently easing it open I found what I was hoping for on the other side of the door was the kitchen. I watched as a handful of scullery maids washed dishes and pots while what appeared to be both the head butler and chef seemed to be in conversation. Good the after dinner clean up I wouldn’t have to worry about the lift moving unless one of the princesses wanted tea or a late night snack. I eased the door shut and tried to figure out a way for me to get ontop of the cart and into the shaft itself. Two minutes and a loose plank later I was in the shaft working my way up. I was maybe fifteen feet up the shaft when I found another door using my mirror again I checked where it open onto. I found an unadorned room with what appeared to be several barrels and a few spare wagon parts looking further to my right confirmed my suspicions, the main delivery entrance. I closed the door and made my way up the shaft again. The next door I found opened onto a large stately dining room. I continued my way up the shaft finding that this would turn out to be a perfect location. My final and most welcomed surprise came when I got to the top of the shaft like at the bottom there were two doors easing open the first I found what appeared to be a small rather intimate sitting room. The colors were bright warm pastels the furniture was all very plush and to be gently used. The pictures were a wide assortment of oil paintings and modern photography. Every one of them was a portrait, and only two frames depicted being I recognized. The first stood out because unlike the rest of the room the subject of the painting was a dark coated alicorn mare Luna. The next was a group shot eight mares and a small dragon. Celestia, Luna, the purple one name Twilight, the pink one, and the dragon. All sitting in what seemed to be a private garden at the palace. I moved on checking the room some more I found three doors. I checked to two furthest from the dumbwaiter. One opened onto a gleaming and expansive bathroom. The other a bedroom. I realised where I was and beat a quick retreat back into the shaft. Checking the other door I found an almost exact duplicate of the previous room only with much darker colors.

I had hit the Jackpot hiding at either the top or bottom of the shaft gave me access to: the kitchens, the palace loading docks, the main dining hall, and both princesses private chambers. Things were looking up.