Chapters Competition was a word that Rainbow Dash loved to associate herself with as often as possible. To her, life was a big game. A game where you had to come out on top against a bunch of others that were competing for the same prizes; be it success, love, wealth, fame, or just plain bragging rights. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was serious. In other cases it could be life threatening.
Now Rainbow Dash didn’t like to brag...
... Okay she did, but Rainbow Dash could only name a small number of ponies in Equestria who could beat her in anything involving athletics. She loved showing off her skills because she felt proud of who she was and what she had become after years of hard training. Of course, competing against others was fun, but only if the opponent was a worthy challenge.
And in Ponyville, there was only one opponent she knew that could rival her.
“Eight hundred and sixty-five...Eight hundred and sixty-six... Eight hundred and sixty-seven,” grunted Rainbow Dash, pushing herself off the grass as sweat dripped down her brow. She could feel her muscles burning, but nevertheless she was determined to keep going until the earth pony across from her collapsed first. “Come on, AJ. I—ugh—can see you slipping... why don’t you give up now... and save yourself—ugh—from embarrassment!”
Applejack, lifting her head up, gave a cocky grin to match Dash’s own. Licking her drying lips, Applejack shook her head and continued her pushups, matching with Rainbow Dash’s pace perfectly. “No can do, Sugarcube. Ah’m gonna.... beat ya... and getcha to pay... for last week’s embarrassment!”
Rainbow Dash nearly lost herself to laughter as memories of last week’s penalty for losing in their competition came to mind. Upon learning that Pinkie Pie was now related to the Apples, at least that’s what Pinkie still believed, she’d decided to dare AJ to dye her mane pink as well. Applejack had the attention of the entire town when she had to go to market to sell her produce. The good thing was that everypony had come to the stall just to see Applejack’s new look, the bad thing was they came only for her and not for her apples. Pinkie Pie, however, was ecstatic that Applejack was trying to fit in with “Pie Family” customs. Apparently, everypony in Pinkie’s family dyed themselves to look like the pony they loved the most for their family reunions.
Since she didn’t sell any apples last week, Rainbow Dash knew that Applejack would be wanting revenge times ten. That made the stakes even higher this time. It had already been a full hour since they started their push ups and Rainbow Dash could feel her second wind leaving her. She cursed earth pony stamina, but nevertheless pressed forward. “Eight hundred and seventy-nine... Eight hundred and eighty... Eight hundred and eighty-one...”
Closing her eyes, Rainbow Dash urged every part of her body to keep moving forward. Nothing was going to stop her from getting another victory over Applejack. Nothing.
Except for something that happened to land on her nose. Opening her eyes in surprise, Rainbow Dash looked at her muzzle to see a tiny butterfly perched on her face. Despite this, she continued to do her pushups while even while twitching her nose in hope of shooing the bug away. This only served to make a certain itch grow on her nose which alerted her to all sorts of problems she desperately wanted to avoid.
Dash held her breath, trying to hold back the upcoming disaster, but it was too late. One large “Achoo!” later and she was lying on her stomach, the butterfly flying away, oblivious of it’s actions. Applejack completed her last push up before collapsing herself, only she was smiling in victory. “Yeehaw! Close one there, partner, but Ah’m the champion this time!”
“Oh, come on,” grumbled Rainbow Dash, getting up on all four hooves. “That butterfly totally interfered! I would have won if it didn’t make me sneeze! I want a rematch!”
“Now, now, Dash. Ya’ lost fair and square and y’all should take it like a mare,” said Applejack, getting up as her smile increased in size. “Unless yer afraid of what Ah got planned for ya.”
Snorting, Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest and narrowed her eyes at the unimpressed farmer. “Scared? Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash is never scared! Bring it on, AJ!”
Applejack rubbed her chin as Rainbow Dash awaited her dare. She felt the tips of her coat shiver as seconds passed and nothing came out. Although never one for patience to begin with, Dash could feel boredom mix with anticipation as she tapped her hoof against the dirt over and over again. “Hurry up already!”
“Just give me a minute,” urged Applejack, holding her hoof. “Ah need a good one...”
“By the time you finally get an idea, it’s gonna be twenty years too late.” Suddenly, Applejack’s eyes widened as she gave a smirk that made Dash wish she kept her mouth shut. “O-on second thought, keep on thinking some more. Take all the time you need.”
“No need. Ah got it,” answered Applejack, tipping her hat. “If Ah remember correctly, ya’ got a lot of ponies to help out tomorrow in town right?”
“Yeah? So?” asked Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow. What does that have to do with anything.
After a brief chuckle, Applejack pointed to Rainbow Dash, and said, “Rainbow Dash, Ah dare ya to go into town tomorrow and do whatever it is ya’ gotta do... but ya’ have to wear panties the whole time!”
There was a long gap of silence on the farm. So quiet that not even the wind could be heard.
“WHAT?!”
Birds and fruit bats hanging in the trees suddenly flew away from the mile loud shout; strong enough that some ponies near the edge of town leading from Sweet Apple Acres stopped and wondered who it was that shouted.
Meanwhile, Applejack was kicking her hooves in the air just from seeing Rainbow Dash’s expression. After shaking her head in disbelief, Rainbow Dash asked, “You want me to wear underwear?! In public?!”
“E-eeyup!” shouted Applejack, catching her breath as she got up and smiled. “Ah wantcha to head into town, wearin’ one of yer pairs of panties, and go into town with them. And they had better be good ones too.”
If Rainbow Dash could get any redder she would have looked like a pegasus version of Big Macintosh. “B-but you... I... I’ll look...”
“Sorry, Sugarcube. That’s the dare,” said Applejack, walking past the stunned pegasus with a bright smile on her face. “Ah’ll be in town as well so Ah’d better see yer blue bottom covered with somethin’ else or yer gonna have to admit yer a chicken. See ya.”
Rainbow Dash stood still as a statue long after Applejack had left. She continued to do so even after the sun had set. Finally, when the realization hit her just how late it was, Rainbow Dash only lowered her head and sighed. “Buck me.”
***
Panties.
Of all the objects of clothing Applejack had dared her to put on it just had to be panties of all things. Contrary to popular belief, Rainbow Dash did have clothes she wore on various occasions, mostly shirts with some jeans. Many of them were Wonderbolts clothing she bought at their shows or similar shirts of bands that she liked. But the problem was she only had one pair of panties to wear.
Dash looked at them in her hooves, cringing with disgust. They were rainbow colored, just like her mane and tail, except they had pink cute bunnies hopping around with smiles. It had a been a gift from her grandmother two years ago and she only took them out of kindness, never planning to wear them ever. However, now she was wishing she burned them instead of leaving them hidden in her drawer.
Still a dare was a dare, and Rainbow Dash wasn’t going to be known as a chicken. With much hesitation, Dash closed her eyes and slowly put on the pair of panties that soon everypony in Ponyville would be seeing. When they were finally up, Rainbow Dash, for the life of her, couldn’t understand why some ponies even wore the things. It’s like it's crawling up my butt or something.
With that task done, Rainbow Dash made her way towards the front door and opened it, breathing in the morning air. Closing the door behind her, she then heard a gasp that made her freeze up before slowly turning her head to where she saw Derpy, wings frozen in midair before she landed on the cloud home with her mouth wide open and crossed eyes widened in shock. The mail she had in her now open mouth was flying in the air thanks to the wind that had picked it up.
Gulping, Rainbow Dash tried to think of how she was going to explain this to Derpy. Great, three seconds outside and already I’m in an awkward position.
“Derpy! I...um...” struggled Rainbow Dash, her cheeks slowly turning red as she turned about face, making sure the rear side of her was out of Derpy’s view. “Nice... weather we're having, huh?”
“Y-yeah,” muttered Derpy, her eyes slowly adjusting themselves. “Um, Rainbow Dash? Why are you wearing panties out in public? With nothing covering them?”
“Oh... um...” Rainbow Dash shifted her hooves against each other as she tried to think of a lie. “These... aren’t panties...”
“They look like panties,” pointed out Derpy.
“Oh sure but... um...” Rainbow Dash’s mind, in a panic, tried to think of a lie out of millions that processed with her head until she pulled one out. “It’s actually a special kind of cast!”
Derpy’s eyes widened. “A cast?”
“Yeah, one of those new... magical casts. It’s a new experimental form of treatment where your clothes are actual healing you!” said Rainbow Dash, faking a smile as best as she could.
Derpy rubbed her chin as one of her eyes floated upward while another stayed focused on Rainbow Dash’s sweating face. She continued to be in deep thought until she nodded and closed her eyes while smiling. “Okay. You must have landed really hard to hurt your flank like that.”
“Oh.. yeah...” muttered Rainbow Dash, pretending to wince in pain. “Still hurts a bit and all.”
Derpy’s eyes lit up with excitement as she flew over to Dash’s rump and poked it, making the lying pegasus blush. “Can I sign my name on it?”
Dash could feel every hair on her back straight up as she turned around and shouted, “Wait, what?!”
“That’s what you do for ponies in casts, right? You write something to make them feel better.” Derpy then dug into her mail carrier bag and took out a black marker. “Mah efan haf mah own maher!”
The first response Rainbow Dash wanted to give was “Hay no!” but then realized that if she did this it would only cause Derpy to be suspicious. Closing her eyes, she wondered if in a previous life she did something wrong to deserve this and sighed. “Alright... go ahead.”
Moving her body so that her flank was facing Derpy, she winced as she felt the cold black marker rub all over her flank. Now not only did she have a pair of rainbow colored panties with bunnies on them, but now Derpy’s name was written on it which would leave to more questions and even more rumors. Especially the ones about me being gay. I mean come on! Just because of my mane...
“Phinished!” said Derpy, putting the marker away in her mouth and smiled. “Thanks for letting me do this, Dash. I hope it will make you feel better.”
“Oh trust me Derpy...” grumbled Dash as she slowly turned around and saw the curved writing of the mailmare. “I’m sure I can’t feel any better than this.”
“You’re welcome. I have to go. Be careful where you sit and good luck on your recovery!” shouted Derpy as she flew off.
Rainbow Dash groaned before looking at Ponyville in the distance.Knowing that she had a full day left that was surely not gonna end well for her. Celestia help me this is gonna be a long day.
Author's Note
Originally, this was going to be a one shot, but as I wrote I realize this was better as a story. Hope it's a good start!
Weather Patrol
Rainbow Dash figured that the best way to get this horrible day over was to do it as fast as possible. She would finish all her weather duties, help her friends out, stay out of the public eye, and head home so she could wait until the day was over. First things first, she made a mental note to not fly at her top speed in panties as the straps dug into her flesh and already she could see burn marks beginning to form.
Flying upwards, she tried looking for the location she assigned her team to meet her at before she spotted another pair of wings flying towards her nearby. Dash quickly recognized him as Thunderlane, her second-in-command, and winced knowing he was going to question her about the panties. I swear if him or any of the others are focusing more on my backside then the clouds in front of them I’m docking their pay!
Sure enough Thunderlane stopped in front of Dash and raised his hoof in greeting when his eyes widened and looked downwards. Rainbow Dash quickly covered herself with her hooves and screamed, “Eyes up here, Thunderlane!”
“S-sorry, b-b-boss!” stuttered Thunderlane, his cheeks slowly turning a red shade. “But uh... why do you have panties on... and nothing else?”
Rainbow Dash bit her lip, unsure if she wanted to admit if this was from losing a dare or not. If she did, who knows what it would do to her reputation “It’s... it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. It’s only for one day and we have a job to do.”
“But—”
“I said let’s go!” ordered Rainbow Dash, flying ahead.
Thunderlane shrugged and followed suit, right behind Dash. He did his best not to look directly at the panty covered rump of his boss, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her and cursed his weakness. A thousand questions went through his head but one stood out the most.
Why is Derpy’s name on Dash’s panties?
***
Rainbow Dash would never admit she was scared of anything. Nervous? Okay, that was a somewhat non-lame word she could associate herself with. And right now, she was nervous about meeting her team, who were lazily waiting on the clouds they were suppose to be moving.
She needed to think of a way to get through this job without anypony questioning her about the panties. If one pony asked one question it would lead to a dozen more and it would never end. This was already going to put a big enough dent into her reputation as it was, and Dash didn’t need it torn apart after years of hard work.
“Are we going to go out there anytime soon?” asked Thunderlane, crossing his hooves while ignoring the annoyed look Dash was giving him. “You know if you tell me why you’re wearing underwear out in public for no reason, I could help you.”
“It’s nothing. We’re not going to talk about it and we’re not going to mention it!” ordered Dash, getting up in Thunderlane’s face. “We’re going to go out there, tell the team to get into gear like always, and get this job over with! Any questions?”
“One actually. How long have you and Derpy been dating?” asked Thunderlane.
Rainbow Dash backed up, eyes widening as the question rang in her ear. “W-what?! Where did you get that idea?”
“Her name is on your panties,” pointed out Thunderlane, rubbing the back of his neck and blushing. “I-I-I wasn’t trying to l-l-look, but you were in front of me and well...”
Dash’s hoof connected with her face as she silently cursed her encounter with the crossed-eyed pegasus. “First off, I said not to talk about the panties. Second, I’m not gay!”
Now it was Thunderlane’s turn to be surprised as he looked at Dash like he had been smacked in the face; an action Dash looked like she was about to do. “R-really?! Wow, Flitter is going to be disappointed. She’s had her eye on you for awhile.”
Ignoring this, Rainbow Dash decided to just stop talking and flew towards the rest of the weather patrol team. They got up from their haunches as soon as she came into view. They were about to greet their captain as she landed on the nearest cloud when they saw what she was wearing and stopped to stare in disbelief. Rainbow Dash felt the blood rise to her cheeks again as she quickly decided to get to work without giving any of them a chance to comment or ask questions.
“Squad! Form up now!” commanded Rainbow Dash, stomping her hoof on the cloud while inadvertently opening a hole that she almost fell through. Despite their confusion, the entire patrol’s training took effect and they followed their orders by lining up in a straight line. Thunderlane quickly joined them at the far right end and stood at attention.
Rainbow Dash began to pace in front of the squad, who were doing their best to resist staring at her when she walked past them, but more than a few minds were distracted. Nevertheless, Dash ignored this, and said, “Alright team. Our assignment tonight is to clear out all these leftover rain clouds and gather them up for one big one. Then it will be transported to Cloudsdale to be saved in the vault for future use. Let’s get this done without distractions and with haste.”
She made sure to speak as loudly and authoritatively as possible over the whispers that were starting to spread. Already Rainbow Dash was thinking of a million different ways she was going to get back at Applejack for making her do this. The entire patrol wouldn’t stop talking about this for weeks at least. Just stick to the plan, Dash. Get them in the air, no questions asked, and get the job done so you can get out of here with as little damage to your rep as possible.
“So if any of you aren’t doing your job, I’ll make sure you get double duty next time!” finished Rainbow Dash.
On the final line, she heard Blossomforth, who was leaning towards her friend Raindrops and whispering. “Somepony’s panties are twisted in a bunch today, huh?” The two snickered at the joke but soon were shivering under the glare of Rainbow Dash whose stare could give Fluttershy a run for her money.
“Do you have something to say, Blossomforth? Or you, Raindrops?” asked Rainbow Dash, sneering at the cowering pegasi.
“N-no ma’am!” replied the two.
Rainbow Dash backed off, much to their relief, and turned around with a sigh. A twinge of regret grew in her heart for being rough with them, but she blamed it on the bad mood she was in thanks to this stupid dare. “Alright, enough chatter! Let’s do this!”
However, Rainbow Dash made the mistake of leaning forward and raising her hindquarters right in front of her entire patrol, exposing the panties that she had been wearing more clearly to them. The result was that a simultaneous sound of "phoomf" ran in the air that widened Rainbow Dash's eyesupon hearing it. She froze and closed her eyes, praying that what she knew had happened didn’t really just happen.
After Dash quickly straightened out her posture, she slowly turned and groaned upon seeing every pony of her squad sporting a wingboner. The others were equally embarrassed as they pawed the cloud or looked away to hide their blush. This included the females as well which made Rainbow Dash wonder just how many mares in Ponyville were gay and if this explained the gender ratio. Realizing there was nothing she could do, Rainbow Dash lowered her head in defeat and muttered, “Five minute break for everypony to calm down.”
***
It took longer than five minutes, but finally they were able to get to work. Thankfully, nopony was willing to talk about what happened, which Rainbow Dash was fine with. She made sure not to interact with the other pegasi unless it was for specific orders. Despite this, she could see ponies glancing at her and whispering behind her back. And Dash was sure more than one set of eyes was aimed at her panties.
Still, progress was going well, and the remaining rain clouds they had gathered so far were mixing well with each other, creating a nice, giant raincloud for Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash was pushing in another cloud when she felt a hoof tap her on the shoulder. Turning around, she saw that it was a blue coated stallion with a dirty blond mane. The name Cerulean Skies quickly clicked in her mind. He was picked for today because of how well he handled clouds.
“Um, ma’am?” asked Cerulean Skies, sweating up a storm. “Um, I was wondering if you could answer something for me?”
“What?” asked Dash, raising an eyebrow.
Cerulean Skies gulped before glancing behind him, Rainbow Dash tilted her head a bit to the right and noticed that there were a few others watching them intently. Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and grumbled. She knew where this was going. Sure enough, Cerulean Skies then asked, “Um... why are you wearing panties?”
Although he had spoken it quite softly, it seemed everypony heard what the brave stallion had asked and all stopped working to stare at them. Tension was in the air as everypony held their breath for Dash’s answer while Cerulean Skies looked ready to piss himself in fear. Rainbow Dash nervously rubbed one of her forelegs as she tried to think of an excuse. Again, she couldn’t tell them that it was because of a dare.
She didn’t want to use the cast excuse again. If she started flying around with a dozen names on her underwear in public she could only imagine how big the letter of complaint from every decent mother in town was going to give her.
No, she needed a new excuse and quickly called her brain to think of something. Sure enough, it did and it messaged the mouth for her to say, “I’m doing a trial run!”
“A trial run?” asked Cerulean Skies.
“Y-yeah, for a company’s new.... weather resistant... underwear!” proclaimed Rainbow Dash with a smile. She had to pad herself on the back, this was a clever one. “Since I’m involved in weather a lot they asked me to test out their product for them!”
Cerulean Skies blinked his eyes a bit, trying to come to terms what he just heard. Dash glanced around and saw a few others shaking their heads in disbelief or nodded their heads in acceptance of the answer. Finally, Cerulean Skies asked, “So you need to have the underwear tested is that it?”
“Um...” Rainbow Dash nervously looked around. “I... guess?”
Cerulean Skies smiled. “Okay, the rest of us will help then! Least we can do for our captain. After all, it must be pretty embarrassing to wear those and if you get them tested as soon as possible, you can take them off right?”
“Wait, what?!” asked Rainbow Dash, waving her hooves around. “N-no no, you don’t have to.”
“Come on, it’s the least we can do for the whole... wing boner thing...” whispered Cerulean, blushing.
Rainbow Dash looked around and saw the others nodding in agreement. A really bad feeling began to form in the deepest part of her stomach, but again, to avoid suspicion, she slowly nodded her head much to Cerulean’s joy.
“Thanks! We’ll get things set up!” said the happy stallion before he flew to his friends.
Rainbow Dash face-hoofed and sighed. What am I getting myself into now?
***
It had been over half an hour, if the sun’s position was any indication, and so far her team hadn’t come back to her about what they were planning to do to “test” her underwear. Rainbow Dash fought to keep her eyes open as she rested among the clouds. Apparently the whole team had decided to pitch in to help Dash, meaning there was nopony else to help her with the giant cloud they had to finish.
Rainbow Dash knew she could do it herself, she was “Rainbow Dash” after all, but a part of her was really curious about what they were doing. Finally, she spotted Thunderlane flying towards her. She flew up and met him halfway. “So? Are they done yet?”
“Yup, all you have to do is fly straight that way,” instructed Thunderlane, pointing straight ahead where a few clouds were still unattended. “The rest will be easy.”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow but shrugged and flew towards the clouds. She looked right to left, trying to see if she could spot anypony from her team, but it was more quiet than a graveyard. Just as she was starting to think this was a prank, Rainbow Dash heard the crack of lighting and years of trained instincts allowed her to narrowly dodge a bolt aimed for her flank. “The hay!”
She turned and saw a few members of her squad kicking thunderclouds and aiming straight for her. Dodging left and right, Rainbow Dash yipped as one landed right on the right side of the flank and left a small burn mark. She turned to her chasers and shouted, “What they hay are you doing?!”
“Testing to see if those panties are lightning proof!” shouted Milky Way, one of her fellow cadets at the Wonderbolts Academy.
Before Rainbow could give him a reply, she found herself drenched in water from above. Looking up, she saw that the rainclouds they were supposed to be gathering were now being used to rain down upon her. Rainbow Dash winced as she felt her panties get soaked. She could feel the rain drip down across her butt and winced as it felt even colder along her inner thighs. It was sticking to her like molasses and she could feel the wet fabric pushing against her rear very uncomfortably. It almost felt like something was jamming itself right up her flank.
Now she had to deal with lightning blasts to her flanks and wet panties. Could this get any worse? she thought.
It soon did as a heavy breeze blasted across her face and she nearly lost her sense of direction before quickly putting herself back on course. Par the distance, she could see the remaining members of the team flapping their wings as hard as they could to create a great gust. Normally, Rainbow Dash would have blown through all this quite easily, but the breeze combined with the water started to make her panties slip from right under her.
Dash struggled with her hooves to make sure her underwear stayed still while a few stallions, and one or two mares, who were behind her with the clouds flew a bit closer with their eyes wide and cheeks blushing. “Come on! Stay... on... you...”
However, occupied with keeping what little dignity she had left, she missed a lightning bolt that managed to hit her in the wing. It went into numb, causing her to lose control to the fierce wind. Her one wing struggled but even Dash couldn’t keep up and was blown away screaming. The other pegasi behind her gasped and scattered, but Milky Way was too late and Dash’s backside slammed into him face first as they fell onto the cloud.
Seeing the two in danger, the remaining pegasi leaped into action with their clouds and formed them together before dragging it past the falling pegasi duo. After they were a few feet below them, the pegasi rescue team positioned the large cloud net and waited for the two to land. The cloud net proved to be strong enough to stop the two as Milky Way landed on his back, with Dash’s panties right on his face.
In an instant, blood shot out of Milky’s nose and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as Dash got off, trying to wipe blood off her underwear and flank. Seeing the two safe, the pegasi brought the cloud to the ground, allowing Dash to get off and wince at her paralyzed wing. It was nothing a few hours of rest couldn’t cure from the looks of it, but being grounded, especially while wearing panties, was not how Rainbow wanted to go about the rest of her day.
Thunderlane quickly landed next to them and headed to Rainbow Dash while a few others checked on a babbling Milky Way. “You okay?”
Rainbow Dash glared at him. “Gee, I don’t know. My flank is sore from lighting bolts and my wing is paralyzed. My underwear is wet and sticking straight up my crack. And to top it off I look like a vampire had it’s way with me. I’m feeling very peachy today Thunderlane.”
“Well, when you put it that way...” said Thunderlane, rubbing the back of his neck.
Dash sighed and lowered her head. “Look just... take charge okay. Get the team to work and take Milky Way to the hospital to get him checked out. That bolt’s paralyzed my wing for at least a few good hours, so I’m out of action.”
“What are you going to do in the meantime?” asked Thunderlane as Dash walked away.
“... I have to see a friend about fixing these,” muttered Dash, shaking her rump a bit, much to Thunderlane’s embarrassment, before galloping away.
Thunderlane walked over to a mumbling Milky Way and asked, “Dude, you okay?”
“I... I saw it ... for just a brief moment they came off and... and... it was beautiful...” whispered the enraptured Milky Way.
Thunderlane shook his head. Unsure if his friend was the stupidest or luckiest stallion on the face of the planet.
Author's Note
Hope it's still funny
While the dare stated that she had to wear the panties in public that didn’t mean that she had to be seen with them. So Rainbow Dash was doing her best to hide among the clouds, zipping towards each for cover when the coast was clear. It also helped that she was going at speeds that made her seem like only a blur. It only got difficult when she was entering town. Flying towards an empty dumpster, Rainbow Dash watched as ponies walked around, greeting each other before going about their business. Licking her chops, Rainbow flew out of the alley where she was hiding and dove behind a cabbage cart.
Almost there, thought Rainbow Dash as she eyed Carousel Boutique only a block away. Suddenly, the cart moved and Rainbow Dash soon found herself exposed blood covered, wet panties and all. Wasting no time, Dash galloped top speed towards the store and was just about to ring the doorbell when she briefly noticed a shadow hanging over her and heard a whistling sound.
“Look out!” somepony cried out in warning. Before Rainbow Dash knew it, she had been thrown off her footing and was sent rolling across the grass. After coming to a complete stop, a moaning Rainbow Dash lifted her head. She wasn’t surprised when she found out who it was that had tackled her.
“S-sorry, Rainbow Dash! Lost control... again,” grumbled Derpy as she got up and shook the dirt from her mane. She then turned to Dash’s flank and gasped in horror. “Oh no! Your cast! I broke it!”
“My what?” asked Rainbow Dash before turning to her flank and remembering the lie she had told Derpy. “Oh...uh, that happened before you crashed into me. It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?! Rainbow you bleeding out of your butt!” shouted Derpy, hooves pressed against her cheeks. “What if it doesn’t stop bleeding?! What if it gets infected?! What if you can never use it again?! You’ll never be able to sit again, let alone use a bathroom!”
Cheeks turning red, Rainbow Dash could see some ponies watching them nearby with confused expressions. Worried of a misunderstanding, Rainbow raised a hoof towards the panicking mare and tried to calm her down. “Derpy, listen. It’s not as bad as you think.
“Not bad?! This is bad! Very bad! I need to get you a doctor! Wait right here!”
“Derpy, wait!” shouted Rainbow Dash, but the kutzy mailpony was already gone. Cursing to herself, Rainbow Dash decided to just get to Rarity’s before she returned.
Rainbow Dash made it to a nearby bush and banged on the door over and over again. Sure enough, the door opened and Sweetie Belle came out, shouting, “How many times do we have to tell you?! We don’t want to become Larson Witnesses!”
“Sweetie Belle, it’s me!” shouted Rainbow Dash, making sure to keep her lower body hidden in the bush.
“Oh hey, Rainbow Dash. Um,” Sweetie Belle scratched her head, “Why are you in a bush?”
“It’s... complicated,” answered Rainbow Dash, blushing. “Is your sister around? I need her help with something like pronto!”
“Sure, come on in,” said Sweetie Belle as she opened the door for Rainbow. She raised an eyebrow as the pegasus came in, still wearing her bush coverings and scattering leaves and sticks across the carpet. “Um, maybe you should take the plant off? Rarity’s not gonna like the mess.”
“I’ll deal with your sister when she gets all pouty about this, don’t worry,” reassured Rainbow Dash.
“Suit yourself,” said Sweetie Belle as she closed the door and made her way towards the stairs.
Before she went up, she bellowed, “Rarity! Rainbow Dash is here to see you!”
“Coming!” shouted Rarity with a little sing-song behind her tone. She soon came downstairs with a smile on her face. “Welcome, Rainbow. I must admit this is a quite an un... un... un...” Her eyes widened in horror as the weakly smiling Rainbow Dash waved hello, kicking a few of the leaves from her bush behind her in a futile attempt to hide the mess. “Unsanitary visit! What are you doing wearing that disgusting and dirty plant in my house! Dirt is going to get everywhere! Out! Out!”
“No, wait, Rarity!” shouted Rainbow Dash jumping out of the bush and exposing herself. “I need your help because I need you to take my panties and—”
“Your what?!” shirked Rarity, who stepped back while fanning herself with her hoof. “R-Rainbow Dash, I-I am quite flattered that you like me, very much so. But... well, one doesn’t simply present herself like some common tramp! T-T-There is a certain delicacy to courting and bedding a lady. While I admit I am f-fl-l-lattered that you have asked me to undress you and have my way with you now, with my sister in the house it is just plain—”
“Stop with the images!” shouted Rainbow Dash, turning as green as the bush she was in. “I need you to wash them, Rarity! With soap and water and what not!”
Rarity slowly sat down, her hoof on her chest, as she nervously chuckled. “O-oh, yes. That makes much more sense.” Rainbow Dash turned around, presenting the ruined pair of underwear that made Rarity stick her tongue out in disgust. “What did you even do to these things? Is that... blood?” She raised her eyebrow. “Do I even want to know what kind of fetishes you're into.”
“Just shut up and take them, Rare,” growled Rainbow Dash, teeth clenched so hard she could feel them slowly break.
Using her magic to take them off, Rarity rolled her eyes and went into her washing room. A few minutes later, she came back with a satisfied smile. “Well, not to worry. They just need some time in the washer and dryer and you should be good to go. Why not take a quick shower while you wait, darling.”
For the first time today, Rainbow Dash smiled. “You know what? I think I’ll do that. With all the horseapples I’ve been going through I could use a good hot one.”
In a blur, Rainbow Dash was in the bathroom with the water running at full blast. Rarity shook her head before glaring at the mess made thanks to the bush that was still in her store. Well I know the first thing I’m doing.
She lifted it up with her magic and opened the door to throw it out when she froze and dropped the bush in the middle of her doorway. Standing before her, whipping her head around like a blur, was none other than Equestria’s greatest model critic and photographer, Photo Finish. The famous pony pushed the bush out of the way as she jumped in and posed, snapping perfectly as her assistants came in and started setting up their cameras, lights, and props. All while Rarity was still standing in the doorway, mouth agape.
Finally, she returned to Equestria and dashed over to Photo Finish’s side. “Photo Finish! I-I I’m surprised! I thought we were going to do the photo shoot tomorrow!”
“Change of planz, Rarity,” Photo Finish said while pointing above. “I, Photo Finish, only do zee zhoots when zee feels like it. When zee time is ripe and zee soul tellz zer to work. And I, Photo Finish, wizh to work today inzead of tomorrow. Pluz, Ah also suzpect my fourth huzband is cheating on me and wizh to get thiz over with before calling my laywer. Now,” she turned to Rarity impatiently, “Where iz zez model that you promised?”
“I... um... she...” Sweat dripped down Rarity’s brow. She had convinced Fleur Dis Lis, Equestria’s greatest model, to come down tomorrow and help her with the shoot. But there was no way she could get word to her now, let alone get her here in just a few minutes. The only other pony who had a good model’s body was Fluttershy and she refused to be one again after what happened last time. “She... she...”
“Hey, Rarity do you have any non-exotic shampoo’s?” asked Rainbow Dash walking in, wet and wrapped in a towel. “That stuff makes my mane look... um...” Dash looked at the set up in confusion. “Did... I miss something?”
Thinking quickly, Rarity rushed over to Rainbow Dash and held her by the shoulders. “There you are, Darling! We’ve been waiting for you!”
She turned to Photo Finish. “This is the model that I was talking about. Meet Rainbow Dash. Why she absolutely loves to dress in style, don’t you dearly?”
“Wait, what?” asked Rainbow Dash, but a swat against her flank made her get the message. “Um, yeah... it’s what I love more than anything.”
Photo Finish walked over and started inspecting Rainbow Dash, much to the pegasus’s embarrassment. She checked her wings, her mouth, mane, hooves, and even her tail. Finally, Photo Finish nodded. “Thiz will do. Now let us make...zee magics!”
“Uh, one second. I need to talk to my good friend , Rarity,” said Rainbow Dash, gritting her teeth as she dragged her friend to an isolated corner.
“What the hay, Rarity!” hissed Rainbow Dash, slamming Rarity against the wall while her wings flared up. “I’m not gonna be some model doll for one of your clients! That’s like uncool on so many levels! Think of my reputation!”
“Please, Dash! There is nopony else I can turn to at the moment!” begged Rarity, getting on her knees. “Photo Finish’s approval would be the world to me! It would help my career! Please, do this for me; as a friend!”
“Rarity... come on,” whined Dash. She didn’t want to let Rarity down as a friend but she didn’t want to go out there in dresses and pose for a bunch of pictures that would be used for some lame, fashion magazines.
Rarity sat straight up as an idea quickly came to her. “Perhaps this would be a good time to mention that I’ve been selected to design the costumes for the fourth Daring Do film: The Death and Return of Daring Do. ” Dash’s eyes immediately widened in attention. “And it just so happens that I’ll need an assistant who would be able to watch the movie being made with me. Maybe somepony who is a fan of the series?”
“What are we waiting for?! Let’s get out there and take sexy photos of me!” shouted Rainbow Dash, dragging Rarity back to Photo Finish.
“Are you ready to begin?” asked Photo Finish, raising an eyebrow.
“Sure, put me in whatever dress you want. I’m ready,” said Rainbow Dash, stomping her hoof and flaring out her wings.
“Good, because today we are zhooting...” Photo Finish motioned her assistants to quickly show an entire clothesline full of—to Dash’s horror—panties. Panties of all kinds and colors. “Panties for the “Sexy Flank” edition of my magazine.”
Rainbow Dash just stared at the panties in silence before slowly turning to a blushing Rarity. Her eyes narrowed as she said, “Did you know about this?”
“Well, um... surprise?”
“I’m starting to reconsider my offer...”
“There iz no time to waste. Now! We go!” cried out Photo Finish as she stomped her hoof and, before Rainbow Dash could react, her assistants were already on the struggling pegasus.
***
“Yez! Good! Good! Raise zee rump up! More lightz! Keep flazhing!” shouted Photo Finish shouted as her camera ponies went to work.
Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, was wishing she could “flash” on out of here and started to wonder if Daring Do was worth it. It wasn’t the fact that she was dressed like a cheerleader that bothered her, oh no.
It was the fact that she had pink, frilly, underwear on and was forced to lift her skirt up for all to see.
She could only imagine what this kind of image was going to be used for. Already she could hear the adolescent boys moaning and huffing as they clopped to her rump. Maybe back in high school that would have been cool, but now she had to keep a public image up for the sake of the Wonderbolts. Then again, it’s not like they’re gonna see me in this anyway. Or in my other pair of panties.
***
“Hey Soarin, you planning to get Photo Finish’s magazine next month?”
“You mean her ‘Sexy Flank’ addition? Oh hay yeah!”
“Soarin! Fleetfoot!” shouted Spitfire as the two jumped off their couch and stood in attention. The leader of the team nodded and they relaxed. “I need you two to come with me. Since Surprise got injured in our last show we need one of our reserve members to come forward and take her place for our show three days from now.”
“Okay, who are we going to get?” asked Soarin.
Spitfire smiled. “We’re going to get the best of them all. Somepony I’ve had quite an eye on for awhile as both a mare of integrity, respect, and dedication. Somepony who will bring pride to the Wonderbolt name. Rainbow Dash of Ponyville!”
***
“Oh yez! This is fantastic! The zexiness! The way zee butt shinez in the light! The fabric right below zee tail! You are a goddess, Rainbow Dash! Oh yes!”
Now she was wearing a pair of panties with a hole in the center that was shaped like a heart, showing her crack completely. Rainbow Dash was starting to wonder if she angered the god of underwear. Although she was forced to smile, Rainbow Dash was ready to bite the heads off of everypony here including Photo Finish who had been leering and urging Rainbow Dash to pose and expand her legs more and more.
Thank goodness they were almost done with the photo shoots. If anypony else had been watching this she would have died of embarrassment.
***
“And you're sure she was wearing panties?” asked Scootaloo at the CMC clubhouse..
“Positive! I saw her trying out all kinds of underwear and she’s been posing for Photo Finish,” replied Sweetie Belle.
“Why would Rainbow Dash be running around wearing underwear? She doesn’t normally wear clothes,” asked Scootaloo, rubbing her chin. Her stalking observations of Rainbow Dash never showed anything like this.
“Hey, maybe we can wear my sister’s panties and start posing in front of ponies!” suggest Apple Bloom. “We could get... posin’ cutie marks!”
“I like dress up! Let’s do that!” shouted Sweetie Belle.
“W-well if Rainbow Dash thinks it’s cool then it’s cool for me too!” shouted Scootaloo
The three put their hooves up and shouted, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PANTIE POSERS YAY!”
***
Thankfully, they were at the last pair, but now Rainbow Dash was feeling... unclean.
I think I need an adult, she thought as she continued to shake her rump in front of the camera which was flashing faster and faster.
“Yez, put zee hooves on zee flanks! Rub them! Give yourzelf up like a dirty little filly!”
Rainbow Dash placed her hooves on her flanks, keeping her hindquarters up, as she lowered the straps a bit, making sure to keep everything just barley hidden as the camera continued to flash.
“Yez! Yez! Yezzzz!”
Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash!
There was one big final flash that lit up the entire room before Photo Finish, covered in sweat as an assistant fanned her, sighed and held her hooves up. “Enough! We have enough!”
The camera crew stopped, much to Dash’s relief, as they started to clean up the place and pack everything. Photo Finish went over to Rarity and shook her hoof. “Zee designz are good, Ms. Rarity. Keep up zee good work.” She then walked over to Rainbow Dash and held her cheeks, looking deep into her eyes. “If you ever want to be a model, zee me as zoon as you can.”
“Um... sure?”
Photo Finish nodded. “Now!.... I go!” In a split second, she and her entire crew dashed off and the room was left with only two ponies once again. Rainbow Dash just stood there in silence before sighing. “Rarity? Can I still take that shower?”
“Um, sure?”
“Good... because for some strange reason I feel just plain dirty. And not in a good way.”
Author's Note
Hope this is still funny.
Flying Away and Secret Perverts
After a good long hour shower, Rainbow Dash put on her washed and dried panties and went to leave Carousel Boutique. She glared at the hated colorful underwear. It had been the cause of all her misery today, and she wanted nothing more than to burn it. Still, the day was half way done. All she needed to do now was just help out Fluttershy and Twilight and she would be literally home free.
“Rainbow Dash!” shouted a familiar voice that made her cringe. She turned around and saw Derpy rushing towards her with Ponyville Hospital’s Doctor Stable beside her, a doctor’s kit in his mouth. Screeching to a halt, Derpy hugged Rainbow Dash and sighed in relief. “Oh thank goodness you're still here! I had to wait forever for Doctor Stable to find time to find you. When I told him of your condition we rushed over as soon as we could!”
“For what?” asked Rainbow Dash, raising an eyebrow.
“You're bleeding butt of course! How could you have forgotten... unless!” Derpy gasped. “Oh no, you have amnesia as well! This is terrible! Listen, your name is Rainbow Dash. You love flying. You find mares very attractive. You—”
Rainbow Dash pushed Derpy away and rubbed her temples in frustration. “Derpy, I do not have amnesia!” She paused for a second, then pointed. “And I’m not gay!”
This time, Doctor Stable stepped forward. “Nevertheless, Rainbow Dash, bleeding from your anus is a serious medical condition. I already know about your magical panty cast—remarkable how far our medical technology has come—but you should get you to the hospital so we can perform a colonoscopy right away.”
“What the hay is a colonoscopy?” asked Rainbow Dash, wondering if Twilight was around so she could explain this better.
“Oh, it’s when they check out what’s inside your uh-oh!” said Derpy cheerfully at first. Yet, the words only caused Rainbow Dash to quickly turned a sickly green color.
Swallowing, Rainbow Dash started backing away. “W-what?! Isn’t there some kind of law that says that doctors aren’t suppose to be sexually involved with their patients?!”
“It’s perfectly legal, Dash,” assured Doctor Stable, chuckling. “All we do is stick a camera inside your rectum and check for anything wrong with it.”
“... again, sexually involved with their patients!” shouted Rainbow Dash.
“But Dash! Your life could be at stake!”
“Screw that! I’ll die with dignity thank you!” shouted Rainbow Dashs who flew as fast as she could from the two crazies. Wait, what am I even saying? I’m not dying at all! Ugh, this day can’t get any worse!
“Hey there she is! Yo! Rainbow Dash!”
In a sudden moment, all of time seemed to have stopped for Rainbow Dash. Fate couldn’t be this cruel to her. Not today of all days. Not with who she suspected was now flying towards her. Not in the most vulnerable and embarrassing position she had ever been in her entire life. She pleaded it to be anypony else but them. Princess Celestia. Queen Chrysalis. Discord. Her grandmother. Faust herself. Even Glenn Buck she would take... okay maybe not Glenn Buck, but still anybody but the Wonderbolts!
She turned around and saw Captain Spitfire and Lieutenants Soarin and Fleetfoot flying just behind her. They were far enough to the point where they couldn’t see the panties on her rear, but they were getting closer with each passing moment. Already Rainbow Dash could see the the respect her heroes had for her plummet down in flames and crash. It would be the end of her reputation and they would never want to associate with a pegasus who flaunts her plot around like some whorse.
Rainbow Dash could do the only thing she could think off: fly like the demons of Tartarus themselves were right behind her.
“Rainbow Dash!” cried out Spitfire, but her voice was ignored as she and her fellow wingmates picked up the pace. “What is with that mare? What’s she doing?”
“No idea, but if she want’s to play tag, I’m all for it!” shouted Fleetfoot as flew on ahead.
Rainbow Dash, seeing this, made sure she kept her panties on straight as she decided to shake her off by diving towards Ponyville. She weaved through the houses, some of the title boards coming of at the speeds she was going. Fleetfoot just easily followed suit, licking her lips and grinning at the prospect that she finally found a worthy racer. I can see why Spitfire likes this cadet. She’s got some skills!
Realizing she was going to have to play tricky to get out of here, Rainbow Dash flew lower, till she was barely touching the pavement. Ponies gasped and jumped out of the way as the two blurs raced down the streets. Rainbow Dash then started heading towards Hay Burger with no signs of stopping. Fleetfoot started to worry as they got closer towards the establishment. “Is she trying to get herself killed?!”
Suddenly, Rainbow shot straight up forward at the last second with such agility that Fleetfoot’s jaw dropped. It took her a few seconds to realize she was still going forward. She tried to pull up, but it was too late and she smashed through the window. Everypony in the restaurant screamed as Fleetfoot crashed against the tables, knocking food and condiments everywhere. She continued to bounce around until she was knocked into the kitchen where her rump made an unpleasant meeting with the grill. Fleetfoot screamed as she flew out of the restaurant, rear on fire.
With flames on her tail, Fleetfoot made it to the nearest source of water she could find: the fountain. One cannonball later, Fleetfoot was floating with a look of relief on her face. Soarin and Spitfire flew down next to her, smirking. “You know Fleety, I always knew you were a hotshot who needed to cool down a bit.”
“Oh buck you, Soarin,” moaned Fleetfoot.
Spitfire laughed before she turned serious and looked around the skies. Sighing, she lowered her head. “I wonder why Rainbow Dash flew away from us. Maybe she’s in trouble?”
“Either way, we should get Fleetfoot to a hospital and get her checked out,” suggested Soarin.
Spitfire nodded and the two of them helped their teammate out while pushing away thoughts of Rainbow Dash back for now.
***
Rainbow Dash had never been more happy to see Fluttershy’s cottage then she was now. Between weather hazards, photo shoots of her butt, perverted doctors, getting chased by the Wonderbolts, and Derpy in general, Rainbow Dash was starting to think that her panties were cursed. At least nothing bad happened at Fluttershy’s place... provide Discord wasn’t in the area.
Knocking on the door, Rainbow Dash heard the familiar yipe of her best friend before waiting for the door to slowly open. Sure enough it did so and Rainbow welcomed the sight of Fluttershy’s eye, peeking out before she opened the door completely.
“O-oh, Rainbow Dash,” greeted Fluttershy as she nodded. “I was waiting for—”
Fluttershy didn’t get a chance to finish as Rainbow Dash burst into her home, slammed the door, and held a hoof over the frightened owner’s mouth. Fluttershy’s eyes widened as Rainbow Dash looked around, eyes inching every corner for any signs of anypony after her. No pervert doctors. No Wonderbolts. No Derpy. Perfect.
She turned to Fluttershy and looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Listen to me, Fluttershy. You’re one of my best friends in the world and I need your help! I’m hiding from ponies and I need to lay low for awhile. At least for the rest of the day.”
Fluttershy removed the hoof and asked, “Are you on the mayor’s bad side again for getting drunk and publicly flashing your privates to the representatives of a neighboring city? For the fifth time?”
“First off, it was only three, and second of all, no. This time it’s... complicated.” Rainbow Dash sighed and pointed to the panties she was wearing. Fluttershy quickly gasped and blushed, holding her hooves to her mouth. “Yeah, it’s because of these. I’m sorry, but you're the only pony I can trust not to make a big deal out of this.” Fluttershy was quiet for a bit, staring at the panties without blinking. Tilting her head, Rainbow Dash asked, “Um, Shy? Everything alright?”
Suddenly, in a reverse of what happened moments ago, Rainbow Dash was silenced by Fluttershy’s hoof now in her mouth. The normally timid pegasus was now looking at Rainbow Dash with a rare serious look. “Rainbow Dash, it’s okay! I understand perfectly how you feel and I’ll make sure nopony knows your secret. Trust me. I’m the same way.”
“Huh?”
“In fact,” said Fluttershy, quickly rushing over to a bookshelf. She pushed one of the books in as a “click” was heard followed by the sound of gears turning. Rainbow Dash’s eyebrows raised up when she saw the bookcase slowly sink down into the floor, revealing a hidden passageway that led downstairs. Fluttershy nodded to her friend and said, “Follow me!”
Against her own suspicions, Rainbow Dash did so and proceeded down the stairs to an empty room. Suddenly, the lights went on and Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped. No... no way... it’s just... not... possible!
It had to have been a curse. There was no way all of this was a coincidence. Rainbow Dash even smacked herself as hard as she could to make sure she was sleeping. But she was in no dream. For in front of her was an entire room full of panties.
Panties of all colors, sizes, designs, and more. Each with plaques above them with details of what they were, who they were made by, the date of manufacture, and more. And this was all underneath Fluttershy’s home. Fluttershy’s home.
Fluttershy’s.
Home.
I guess what they say is true. The silent ones are the kinky ones, thought Dash as Fluttershy came into her sight, wearing a simple pink pair of underwear as she moved softly towards her. “Oh, Rainbow Dash. You have no idea how happy I am to see you in those.”
“W-what, what is this, Fluttershy?” asked Rainbow Dash.
A small smile graced Fluttershy’s lips as she moved closer. “My treasure. This is my collection of panties. I’ve been acquiring them for years because they... they are the greatest thing in the world. Don’t you agree?”
“Um, well...” Dash slowly tried to move towards the exit, but Fluttershy was quicker and thrusted herself toward Dash, leaning against her chest.
“The feel of leather, silk, satin, or even simple cotton covering your delicate parts, where one slip and the world sees the beauty that makes you a mare,” muttered Fluttershy, laying her hooves around Rainbow Dash’s neck as her rump shook back and forth. “I’ve always dreamed of having somepony... stare at them. Slowly put their hooves against my flank, rubbing it softly as I beg them to not take them off. Then they grab the straps...”
Rainbow Dash let out a yipe as Fluttershy touched both her cutie marks. She fell on her back, completely paralyzed as Fluttershy stood on top, her pink mane covering half her face while the other look at her with pure lust. “... Slowly they would take them off as our groins grinded against each other, removing the last piece of protection until we are as free and naked as the day we were born. And then... it’s only heaven from there...”
“You... really like panties... huh?” whispered Rainbow Dash, gulping.
Fluttershy giggled. “Oh, I just don’t like them! I love them! I love to feel them against my haunches. I love sniffing them after use. Just feeling them against my chest as I lay in a pile of them is like sleeping on a cloud. I want to be married, give birth, and die while wearing them. I wear them to bed every night. I kiss them in the morning....” she leaned over with a smile and half-lidded eyes and whispered in Dash’s ear. “Sometimes... I even pee while wearing them and never take them off.”
Choking, Dash began to try and eradicate the memory of what she had just heard from her brain before realizing that Fluttershy had lifted both her backlegs off. “W-wait... I don’t... I don’t...”
“Oh, it’s okay, Dash. I’m not going to force you into anything, as much as I would like to have you here and now.” Fluttershy winked and licked her lips. “I just want to look at your rainbow colored, bunny pictured, hoofwritt—who the buck is this! ”
Rainbow Dash was soon thrown across the room, head spinning as Fluttershy, shocked and angry, stomped her hooves and glared at Rainbow Dash. “What is Derpy Hooves’ name doing on your panties?! When did she do this!”
“Um... this morning?” replied Dash who was trying to see the big deal.
Eye twitching, Fluttershy turned around and shook with rage. “You mean to tell me that the one pegasus who I’ve had my eye on for years. The one I worship and love. The one who I dreamed of having this moment with for so long is already claimed by that crossed-eyed klutz! I will destroy her!”
Fluttershy gave a roar that sounded like a dragon before she smashed through the ceiling and flew away with a giant hole in her house. Rainbow Dash stared at the improvised exit before sighing.
“And ponies wonder why I don’t like mares.”
Author's Note
Derpy and Fluttershy catfight? Vote now.
A Sexy Princess and A Catfight
Rainbow Dash never believed in the quote “It’s always the quiet ones” until she met Fluttershy. The shy pegasus was as gentle as a butterfly and as timid as a possum, but there was a reason why Fluttershy was made into Saddle Rager when they went into that comic book. She had a mean temper that made her go crazy. Like angry Pinkie Pie scary crazy.
And while Derpy was no slouch herself, the many accidents she had survived and property damage she had done could attest to that, she didn’t want to see half of Ponyville destroyed because of a misunderstanding. Especially, since she was not gay.
“Seriously, do I need a sign that says ‘I am into guys’ twenty-four seven!” cried out Rainbow Dash, flying at top speed. She didn’t even care if ponies saw her in her underwear or not, things were gonna get much worse. And she needed the one pony who could help her solve this crisis.
Flying near Twilight Sparkle’s house, Rainbow Dash saw a large crowd of ponies just staring at it’s front doors like a bunch of mindless zombies. Raising an eyebrow, she went towards them, but got no reaction. Even when she was just above their heads, panties and all, not one of them focused on her.
She landed right in front of the group and stared at them. “What is wrong with you guys? What are you looking at?” She turned around but soon wished she hadn’t.
Her jaw dropped for the umphteth time today before she covered her eyes with her wings. “No. Please no. Not even her. She’s the egghead. The non-fun one. The perfect student. Why in the name of Celestia is this happening?!”
Removing her wings from her vision, Rainbow Dash saw Princess Twilight Sparkle washing the tree house with a big wet and soapy sponge while it’s lather got all over her. It sank deep down her pelt as it slowly washed down upon each and every hair before dripping down over her soft, purple panties with her cutie mark right in the middle where both cheeks met. It slithered downwards like a river of foam before slowly dripping towards the end and forming a white and blue puddle right between her legs.
A hose sprayed water on the tree as droplets of it fell upon Twilight’s mane and back, mixing in with the foam as she swayed back and forth, her body a hypnotic dance. Twilight looked back and winked at the crowd who all went red in the face. Suddenly, a boom box appeared with a puff of smoke and she pressed the play button.
Now even Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but get a wingboner like so many other pegasi in the crowd, even from other females. Twilight started to shake her flank around while she continued to use both the hose and the soapy sponge to spread her cleaning around more before turning around and laying flat against the bark. The water and soap were now flowing down her entire body, making her look like a water nymph coming out of a waterfall to show her beauty to the world.
She then turned around and let the sponge slowly wash her back. From the top of her neck all the way lower and lower. It was as slow as a snail and yet it was like watching a bright star fall from the heavens onto the earth; mesmerizing. Finally the sponge was right between her two glorious round bottom cheeks as she gave a sly smirk before squishing them both against the sponge. Foam squirted out towards the crowd before it began to leak between the flanks and increase the size of the puddle in streams while the hose was now focused on Twilight’s mane, her head twirling around in circles
A few males, and some females, had already fainted with blood squirting out of their noses.
It wasn’t over though, not by a long shot. Twilight turned the hose off and suddenly placed it through one of the leg holes as she stood up on her rear legs, facing the crowd. She let it loop out of the other leg hole and held it with both hooves right between her legs, near her pelvis. Sticking her tongue out, she let the hose spray water again, this time against the crowd as she waved it back and forth, getting everypony wet.
Rainbow Dash, finally having enough, marched up to Twilight and shouted, “Twilight! What the hay are you MMMPH!”
Before Dash could finish she felt Twilight grab her by the cheeks and press her lips against her. A few more ponies fainted as Dash’s heard her mind exploding from the inside of her skull. It only took her a full minute of kissing to realize that one of her best friends was now making out with her. First, Applejack forced her to put on panties. Then Rarity assumed she wanted to get nasty with her; and, suspiciously, wasn’t totally against it. Fluttershy was a creepy love obessed pantie freak that happen to have an obsessed crush on her. And now Twilight was kissing her.
What is with my friends and wanting to have me! thought Rainbow Dash before she pulled herself away from Twilight and started spitting the taste of lavender out of her mouth. It was all too much for her to take. She just flew out of there without a second thought except to find a hammer to smash the imagery of what she just saw out of her head. Or put her in a coma. Either option would work. .
But just as Rainbow Dash left...
“What the buck is going on here?!”
Everypony turned to see another Twilight Sparkle rush through the crowd with a beet red face both out of embarrassment and rage as she growled against the smirking copy. “Who the hay are you, and why are you making me look like some kind of Las Pegasus Show Girl!”
The copy Twilight gave a familiar laugh as she transformed in a puff of blue smoke and revealed herself. “Why it is none other than the Great and Powerful Trixie! Here to embarrass her arch-rival!” She laughed a bit more before taunting. “What do you think, Twilight Sparkle? I’d say these by now a few saucy rumors about you will be spreading across all of Ponyville. I can see it in the headlines: ‘Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia’s Faithful Student? Or Dirty Little Mare?’.”
“Why you!” shouted Twilight, blasting her with magic.
Trixie used another smoke bomb and disappeared as her voice rang out, “Once again, The Great and Powerful Trixie is triumphant! Revenge is hers! Muahahahahaha!”
Twilight closed her eyes and screamed into the air while raising her hoof. “DAMN YOU, TTTTRRIIIIXXXIIIEEEEE—MMMMPHHH!”
Twilight’s eyes widen as Trixie teleported in front of her and kissed her right on the lips before giving a wink and teleporting again. Twilight blinked a bit and licked her lips. “Huh, not bad. Wait, I mean.... TTTTRRIIIIXXXIIIEEEEE”
***Meanwhile in Canterlot***
Celestia sighed in disappointment as she removed her popcorn and soda from her lap. “Aw, show’s over. Shoot...” She levitated her extremely powerful telescope from her balcony and back into her room.
A short moment later, Princess Luna popped her head out the door. “Sister, there you are. What are you doing?”
“Just checking in on the locals...” said Celestia with a hidden pervy sigh. “And all the glorious views.”
Applejack hated slow market days. It wasn’t the fact that a bad market day meant the end of everything for the farm. It just meant another day of being bored while sitting on her flank doing nothing. She didn’t know how Big Macintosh could stay still for hours and just zone out while chewing on that piece of hay in his mouth. It’s like he’s of them zen masters from Neighpon, thought Applejack.
She looked up the sky and sighed. “Where is that blue feathered lazy butt. She better not have chickened out on that dare!”
Applejack kept her ears open for any rumors of Rainbow Dash flying around while wearing panties but she hadn’t heard hide nor feather of her. There were rumors of an injured weather pony, Photo Finish in town, and the Wonderbolts as well. If there was any truth to the last one then Applejack doubted she would be seeing the daredevil anytime soon. Although, she thought with a snicker, knowin’ Rainbow Dash she would go see them Wonderbolts even when she’s wearin’ underwear.
Still, she wished something exciting would just happen.
“Hey, Applejack!” shouted a voice that nearly spooked her hat off. She turned around and saw Derpy, flying above her and looking worried. “Sorry, but have you seen Rainbow Dash? It’s really important!”
“Rainbow? Can’t say that Ah have, why?”asked Applejack, putting her hat back in place.
Biting her lip with worry, Derpy kept one of her eyes focus on AJ while the other checked the market around. “Rainbow Dash is hurt really bad! Her butt’s bleeding!”
Applejack leaned back, eyes widened. Of all the things she had expected to hear that was the furthest thing on her mind. “Her... what?”
“Yeah, she’s got these nifty panty casts because of some injury or another and then when I knocked into her, her butt started to bleed! I went to get a doctor, but she ran off and I’ve been looking for her! Have you seen her?!” asked Derpy, rapidly.
“Ah... can’t say that Ah have,” answered Applejack. Although a part of her was happy that Rainbow Dash was following the dare, she was concerned about her health. She knew bleeding was bad and if she was bleeding out of there that was cause for alarm. Then again, this was Derpy she was talking to.
That point was later proven when both of the mail mare's eyes then focused on a certain favorite food of hers that Applejack happen to have on her menu. “Are those apple muffins?!”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Want one?” asked Applejack, handing one off to her.
“Yes, please!” shouted Derpy who was about to take a big bite... until something yellow and pink tackled her in mid air and sent her flying into the ground.
Applejack’s jaw dropped. Not from the fact that somepony managed to knock Derpy out of the sky with obvious violent intended, but rather who it was that did it. “F-Fluttershy?” asked Applejack nervously as she stared at the pissed off pegasus who was wearing pink panties.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you, you derp-eyed waifu stealer!” roared Fluttershy, attracting everypony in the market. Some turned away with a blush upon seeing her with only panties on while others were taking photos.
Derpy shook her head and demanded, “What is your problem and... wait...” she gasped and looked to her side where the crushed apple muffin was. “No! My muffin!”
She slowly cradled the tasty treat she loved so much and sniffed as a tear dripped down each of her eyes... before they suddenly glowed red with rage. Gently placing the muffin down, Derpy spoke while shaking with rage. “I have no idea why you attacked me. Nor do I really like being violent. But for the crime of destroying the food of the gods themselves...” She turned around and roared at Fluttershy. “I will destroy you!”
“Bring it on you dream kille r !” shouted Fluttershy who charged again at Derpy, only this time she was prepared.
Derpy leaped over Fluttershy before grabbing her by her tail. Fluttershy gasped as she was swung around in the air before thrown by Derpy, heading straight for Applejack’s booth. The cowpony retreated just as Fluttershy crashed into her booth, apples scattering everywhere. Dashing forward, Derpy tackled Fluttershy into the dirt. With a husky growl, Derpy bit into Fluttershy’s neck, eliciting a cry from her victim. Fluttershy replied with a bit of her own into Derpy’s ear, apparently trying her best to rip the thing off of Derpy’s head.
Derpy broke away from Fluttershy, punching the pegasus in the gut a couple of times. Fluttershy fought the urge to double over. Instead, she replied with a kick to Derpy’s nose, blood squirting all over both mare’s coats and manes. Derpy saw the color red, enraged further, and once again tackled Fluttershy to the ground, ripping out whatever strands of mane that she could get her teeth and hooves on.
Fumbling for anything, Fluttershy blindly found an apple on the ground on the ground. Roaring, she smashed the poor fruit into Derpy’s face, turning the once prized snack into applesauce. Derpy found an apple herself, throwing it at Fluttershy, though the latter was able to dodge the mealy projectile. Soon, the two were throwing apples across the market. Only a few hit their targets. Many missed. Many more hit bystanders.
“Hiyayayayayayayaya!” cried out Fluttershy as she leaped up and started repeatedly kicking Derpy.
Derpy managed to block all of the blows except for a surprise spinning round house kick that knocked her near a cabbage stand. Shaking her head a bit, Derpy growled and grabbed one much to the owner’s despair. “No! Not my cabbages!”
Ignoring the vendor, Derpy threw the vegetable, but Fluttershy was able to deliver a blow that sent the cabbage leaves flying. This was what Derpy was waiting for as she charged forward, flying low on the ground before rising just below Fluttershy’s chin. “Shoryuken!” cried out Derpy delivering the powerful uppercut that sent Fluttershy flying into the air before she cae down, landing hard on the pavement.
Growling, she got up and spat out some saliva before putting standing on her backhooves. She circled her forelegs a bit before placing them by her side as Derpy gasped and covered her head. “Hadoken!”
Fluttershy shot her hooves out... and nothing came out.
Everypony just stared at a slowly blushing Fluttershy as crickets nearby started to chirp. Derpy snorted a bit before bursting into all out laughter, holding her sides as she fell to her haunches and pointed at the embarrassed Fluttershy. A vein at Fluttershy’s forehead bulged a bit before she growled and did a backflip. While doing this, she skillfully managed to take off her panties and prepared to fire them like a slingshot. “Pantie power!”
The elastic underwear was released and launched across the air into Derpy’s face. “Help! I’m blind!” she shouted while waving her hooves around.
Smirking, Fluttershy puffed out her chest and pointed at the blind mare, shouting, “Angel Bunny! I choose you! ”
A white and black blur appeared out her hair, flipping around and bouncing so fast he was a blur. By the time Derpy managed to get the panties off, she was met with a two rabbit feet that knocked her straight towards a carrot cart with her eyes spinning more than normal. The bunny flipped in the air with great skill before landing with a smirk behind his ninja mask.
Derpy rubbed her head and shouted, “No fair! You’re using your pet!”
Fluttershy smirked. “All’s fair in love and war.”
“Oh yeah?!” shouted Derpy, grabbing a few carrots. “Take this!”
Angel rolled his eyes when he saw her throw the carrots straight at him like spears. Angel jumped up into the air while shooting out shuriken that managed to slice away half of the carrots aiming at him. Landing, he took off with the speed of a tiger and drew out his own small ninja sword.
The ninja bunny lept up and sliced up the remaining carrots with his sword. The carrot pieces, all perfectly cut, landed in front of the bunny in a tall pillar. A smile on his face, he took one and popped it in his mouth. So over-confident he was with his victory that he failed to ignore the large shadow that was slowly growing below his feet.
“Iron Butt Bomb Attack!”
Angel raised an eyebrow before looking upward. His eyes bugged out in surprise as a set of grey flanks came straight down upon him. Angel gulped before he was crushed by the earth-shattering butt attack of Derpy which had been known to crush entire buildings.
“Angel! No!” screamed Fluttershy in terror. She growled and knocked Derpy off her bunny before cradling him in her forelegs. “Angel! Say something! Anything!”
The response was a slap to the face before bunny, rubbing his head, bounced away while giving her the finger. Fluttershy rubbed her red cheek before whispering, “Um, okay. See you at home. Thank you.”
“Hey! Tree hugger!”
Fluttershy turned around only to get tackled by Derpy who struggled against holding her down but her opponent used her wings to make them fly up into the sky. The two separated before they began to scream and dive towards each other again, exchanging blow for blow so fast the eyes of bystanders could barely see what was going on.
Applejack, looking away from the fight and towards her now destroyed stand, just sighed and put up the ‘closed’ sign before making her way down to the local watering hole for a cold one. At least she was going to until she heard Pinkie’s voice cry out from a distance with a large blowhorn.
“HEY EVERYPONY! RAINBOW DASH WILL GO OUT WITH WHO EVER STEALS HER PANTIES OFF HER FLANK!”
Rainbow Dash drank the last of her sixteen fruity-tuity milkshakes and slammed it on the counter of Sugarcube Corner. A concerned Mr. Cake asked, “Don’t you think you had enough?”
Rainbow’s response was throwing bits at him and grumbling, “I’ve had enough when I said I had enough. Now give me another. Double watermelon in this one.”
Mr. Cake shook his head and took the bits before going back to make another milkshake. Rainbow Dash rested her head on the counter while wishing her life was over and that everything would just end. “Worst. Day. Ever.”
“Even worse than the time you got a hive of bees on your wings and couldn’t use them for for two weeks?”
“Yes,” muttered Rainbow Dash before she turned around and saw Pinkie Pie smiling at her.
“Hiya!”
Rainbow Dash grunted in response as Pinkie took a seat next to her friend. “So what’s wrong, Dashie? Why’re ya bluer than usual?”
“I’m having a bad day,” muttered Rainbow, rolling her eyes. She then stood up and glared at Pinkie. “You don’t have some kind of obsession with me too, do you? Nothing romantic or lustful or any kind of hint of being turned on because I’m wearing panties, right?!” Rainbow pointed at the accursed underwear that had been her bane of existence since the whole day started.
“Of course not silly!” giggled Pinkie Pie.
“Oh, thank goodness,” whispered Dash in relief.
“If you were in diapers, however, I’d rut you until Tuesday. Wait, today is Tuesday, so I guess that would mean next Tuesday,” said Pinkie Pie with a smile. Dash felt a little bit of her die inside as she wordlessly got up and started making towards the exit door. “Where are you going?” Pinkie asked.
“I’m going to dig a grave, crawl in, and die. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
“Aw, but I need to make you a funeral party first!” laughed Pinkie. When she saw Dash wasn’t laughing, she stopped giggling and walked over to her best friend. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why so down?”
Dash sighed and took a deep breath before throwing her forelegs up in the air. “This entire day has been crazy! I was dared to wear public underwear, got somepony’s name written on my butt, got shocked, got blood all over me, had to take embarrassing photos, the Wonderbolts are looking for me, and I can’t let them to see that I am in this state! Not to mention I learned that Fluttershy is a panty freak in love with me, and I got kissed by Twilight which is making me really question my sexuality! On top of all that, I’ve got a really really bad rash in a very uncomfortable place!”
“Well, for the last one I suggest baby powder, but I can also help with the second to last one!” said Pinkie, cheerfully.
“Oh, really? How?” asked Rainbow, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, you just need to go on a date with somepony of either gender. If it’s a stallion and you like it you're into guys. And if you're not, you're into mares!” answered Pinkie.
“What if I like both?”
“Then you just need to get laid.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Pinkie. At this point I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I’ll date whoever once I get these stinkin’ panties off of me.”
Pinkie took out a megaphone and said, “Okie doki loki!” With that she was gone in a flash.
Wait, what was that megaphone for? thought Rainbow Dash.
Her answer soon came.
“HEY EVERYPONY! RAINBOW DASH WILL GO OUT WITH WHO EVER STEALS HER PANTIES OFF HER FLANK!”
Dash’s eyes widened. “Oh... buck... me...”
***
Pinkie’s message was heard all across Ponyville as everypony stopped staring at the fight between Derpy and Fluttershy as both turned towards the direction of Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy’s eyes lit up as a pink blush decorated her cheeks. “Rainbow’s panties? Date?” In less then a split second, Fluttershy was already flying towards the store screaming, “MINE!”
“Hey! What about our fight!” shouted Derpy, but was ignored. She then raised her eyebrows in shock. “Oh my gosh! I forgot about Rainbow and her bleeding butt! Hold on, Dash! Derpy will save you and your behind!”
Applejack watched as Derpy flew off right behind Fluttershy. She wasn’t the only one as various pegasi of both genders also realized they could get a date or own the panties of one of the hottest ponies in town. Earth ponies started galloping as well while unicorns levitated themselves or teleported, despite Applejack never having seen them doing it before. Pretty soon everypony in market was rushing down the streets, knocking each other out of the way, all towards Sugarcube Corner.
All alone in the middle of a destroyed market, Applejack only had one thought come to her head. What have Ah created?
***
“You guys heard that right?” asked Spitfire as she and her fellow Wonderbolts came out of the hospital; Fleetfoot’s backside covered in bandages.
“Yeah, it sounds like Rainbow Dash is offering herself,” said Soarin with a raised eyebrow. “Is this the same ‘mare of integrity, respect, and dedication’ you were talking about?”
Spitfire blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I... I’m sure there is a very good explanation for all of this. We’ve just gotta find her and get the answer. Right, Fleetfoot?”
“Has anypony ever wondered if Princess Celestia farts solar flares when she’s feeling gassy?” asked a woozy Fleetfoot, her eyes glazed over and spaced out as she slurred in her speech. “But if that’s true then... does Princess Luna fart moon beams? Dude, I’m so high.”
Spitfire facehoofed, “Ugh, I think they over did it on the morphine. She can’t fly, much less talk.”
“Whoa....” said Fleetfoot looking at her hooves. “I’m like some kind of... horse thingy... far out...”
“I’ll watch over her, you go check on Rainbow Dash,” said Soarin as he put a wing over Fleetfoot who blushed and started licking it, much to Soarin’s disgust.
“Hmmm, taste like radishes....”
Spitfire nodded and took to the skies in a flash, leaving her two comrades behind. Soarin sighed and turned to Fleetfoot. “Alright, Fleet. Let’s get you back inside and wait for you to start thinking straight.”
“The sky is purple... it’s pretty...”
“Yes it is. Yes it is.”
***
“Did ya hear that girls?” asked Apple Bloom as she took off her sister’s orange colored panties and put them in the pile that was on the “yes” side. They had snuck into her sister’s room after using bobby pins to unlock the door. So far they had a good big pile of panties to wear while the rest were tossed around the floor.
Apple Bloom never knew her sister had such a big collection.
“Sounds like whoever steals Dash’s panties is gonna be getting a date with her. That’s sounds so romantic!” sighed Sweetie Belle.
“How is that any bit romantic? Sounds gross and disturbin’, like those fanfics Daring Do fans make and submit to that fan magazine. Especially the ones with Daring and that filly companion of her’s. She’s like ten,” said Apple Bloom as she shivered at the thought of them. She then raised another pair of pink with a bright green rose in the middle. “What do ya think about these? Think we would look sexy in this?”
“Maybe Scootaloo would fit best in them, what do you think?” asked Sweetie Belle as she turned around towards her pegasus friend. However, she raised an eyebrow at the sight of her friend. “Scootaloo?”
“Hey, Scoots, ya alright?”
Scootaloo was currently holding a red and blue pair of panties while her mouth was wide open and her eyes spaced out. Sweetie Belle raised a hoof and waved it in her face, but no response.
“What do ya think she’s thinking about?” asked Apple Bloom.
*** Now Entering Scootaloo’s Mind Theater. Please Turn Off All Cell Phones. Recording Devices Are Prohibited***
Standing on top of a thousand bodies, all groaning with pain, stood the warrior known as Scootaloo as she held in her hooves the main prize. The rainbow colored panties of Rainbow Dash, personally worn on her butt. Rainbow Dash, flustered and staring lovingly at her hero, hugged Scootaloo and nuzzled her. “Oh, Scootaloo! I knew you would win! My heart has always been yours and this proves that we are destined to be with each other!”
Scootaloo smiled and held Rainbow Dash close as she whispered, “The panties are nice. The date is nice. But I’d like another reward right now.”
Rainbow Dash blushed as the two inched closer to the point where their lips were barely apart... and then...
(Courtesy of the FCC)
Popping the cork, Scootaloo poured the grape juice into both her and Rainbow Dash’s glasses as they finished their meal. Straightening her tux, Scootaloo and Dash clinked their glasses and drank. Wiping her mouth, Dash sighed and stared at Scootaloo. “You know, you are the most awesome filly ever. Just... so cool.”
“Not as cool as you, Rainbow Dash,” whispered Scootaloo as she held out her hoof. The two touched hooves and smiled at each other.
Dash then stood up, ripped off her dress, and revealed herself to be only wearing panties. Grinning, she shouted, “Take me now, Scootaloo! Fly with me unto highest point of nirvana I can feel!”
Scootaloo’s grin widened as she leapt from the table, tackled Dash onto a nearby bed that came out of nowhere and...
(Courtesy of the SJW’s of Tumbler)
Looking into her bride’s eye, Scootaloo finally said the final words. “I do.”
Princess Celestia smiled and said, “Then by the power vested in me, I declare you husband and wife. You may kiss.”
The entire church applauded as Rainbow Dash, dressed in white, removed her veil and lowered her head as Scootaloo raised her own head to...
(Courtesy of Seether00)
“Rainbow! Speak to me!” shouted Scootaloo as she held her bleeding bride. The destruction of the church was everywhere, ponies crying out in pain or for the loss of so much life. Scootaloo turned around and saw so many of her friends lying in their own pools of blood from the multiple gunshots. Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, Princess Luna, Twist, Rarity and more all gone to their eternal rest.
She could still remember crime lord Diamond Tiara’s final words on how she would let her live so she would know pain. Diamond Tiara. The filly’s name brought only rage when she thought of it. But none of that mattered as much as the dying love of her life in her hooves.
Rainbow Dash, with a small smile and blood trickling down her nose, slowly caressed Scootaloo’s cheek. “Goodbye, squirt. And... always... be... cool...”
Her smile didn’t fade even as she closed her eyes and went limp. Tears leaked from Scootaloo’s eyes as she screamed, “Diamond Tiaraaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”
*** And Now A Commercial From Our Friends Of Japan ***
*** We Now Continue With Scootaloo’s Mind Theater ***
Scootaloo, clad in a billowing trench coat, stepped into the abandoned warehouse where she saw her: Diamond Tiara. Sitting on her comfy chair at the top level of the warehouse, surrounded by fifty or so unarmed goons.
Stroking her pet white cat, Diamond TIara gave a mocking laugh. “So the blank flank has come to join her loser wife in heaven. Well, if it’s a death wish you want I shall be more than happy to provide it.” She stomped her hooves three times and the lights came on revealing... ninjas!
Hundreds of them!
Scootaloo growled, drew two handguns, and shouted, “You’re gonna need a thousand more pajama wearing idiots to stop me!”
“Kill her!” ordered Diamond Tiara as the ninjas charged.
Scootaloo screamed as she raised her guns and....
(Courtesy of *Bang*)
Thud
AN: We apologize for that. The current editor has just been shot. We will now continue without any interruptions
Scootaloo looked upon the thousands of corpses she had taken care of herself. Machine gun in hoof with one last magazine, she scoured the bodies for any sign of Diamond Tiara. Little did she know that Diamond TIara was right behind her, ready to take her brains out with a single shot from her pistol.
Suddenly, Scootaloo turned around and opened fired. Dozens of bullets pierced Diamond Tiara’s flesh. Her agonizing screams echoed as she was kicked back through a window.
“Curse you, blank flank!” cried out Diamond Tiara as her last words before she landed on a gas tank that blew up upon impact.
Scootaloo looked down at the flames and muttered, “Have a nice trip, Diamond Tiara. In hell.” With that said she took out Dash’s panties, the ones that started their romance, and kissed them. “And rest in peace, my love.” She released them and let the wind take them into the sky. The sky her loved one cared for so much.
With nothing left, Scootaloo walked out of the abandoned warehouse and into the sunset. Her revenge complete.
*** We Thank You For Visiting Scootaloo’s Mind Theater. Now Back To The Fic ***
“Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom for the fifth time before Scootaloo finally responded and threw away the panties. They landed squarely on Applebloom’s face as the pegasus turned to run.
Leaping out the window, Scootaloo shouted, “Panties! Here I come!”
The two crusaders just looked at each other in confusion.
***
Rainbow Dash rushed out of store just as Pinkie finished and held her by the shoulders. “What the hay, Pinkie Pie!”
“What? I figured it was best to let everypony know that you're single and looking for a special somepony!” said Pinkie with a smile.
“And the grabbing my panties?!”
“You said you would date when they came off. This way two birds are nailed with one stone.!”
Dash was about to yell at her again when she suddenly felt the ground quaking. She slowly turned around and felt all the color leave her face when she saw the size of the crowd coming towards them. Somepony shouted, “There’s Rainbow Dash! Her butt is ours!”
Dash could only do the one brave thing she could do in a situation like this.
Run like a little scared filly screaming for her mommy.
Author's Note
Not a long chapter, but I'm setting it up for something big as a climax. Later
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There Is a Fine Line Between Chaos And Panties
Rainbow Dash never denied before that she loved attention, and she never would. Whether it was the sound of ponies stomping their hooves, the shouting of her name, or the cheers as she did stunt after stunt, it was what made her feel alive when she performed and it was why she wanted to be a Wonderbolt so much. Now, for the first time in her life, she wished that absolutely nopony was looking at her.
“Get outta my way!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she continued to run, the ever-growing mob of ponies after her cursed panties increasing with each minute. Everypony from stallions to mares to even elders were rushing after her.
Turning left on the road, she wondered how she was gonna get out of this when she almost smacked herself for forgetting the most important thing. “I have wings! Duh!”
Taking off the ground, she began to fly upwards, leaving the massive amount of earth and unicorn ponies behind as they cried out their frustrations. “So long suckers!” shouted Dash as she blew them a raspberry. Then she screeched to a halt and gulped. While the earth ponies and unicorns were no longer a problem, she had forgotten about her own kind. Hundreds of smirking pegasi were in the air, eyes focused on the frightened Rainbow Dash.
When the hay did so many pegasi move here!?
“Warriors of the sky!” shouted a pegasus, donning a viking helmet. “Charge and ram that flank! Pillage those panties!”
“Pillage the panties!” shouted the fliers as they dive-bombed Rainbow Dash, who was already fleeing towards the ground.
She yipped as pegasi attacked her from above. She narrowly escaped their attempts to grab her behind and had to shift her rump left and right constantly while the pegasi around her crashed into the ground and into nearby buildings. Although she felt a little sorry for them, Rainbow Dash remembered that this was her butt at stake.
After landing safely on the ground, she tried to continue her escape, but she didn’t expect to be attacked by the side. Rolling on the ground, she came to a halt and gasped upon seeing a wide-eyed Fluttershy on top of her. “Hiiiiii. Dashieeeeeee!”
“F-F-F-Fluttershy! Look, we can talk about this!” shouted Rainbow Dash. She shivered as she felt Fluttershy slowly press her hoof against her flank and begin to rub a hoof in circles around her cutie mark.
“Oh, we can do some talking. Right after I make you yell my name!” shouted Fluttershy as she slowly leaned down and edged her teeth closer to the straps of the panties. Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and waited to have her innocence removed, but suddenly a voice cried out.
“Hey! Fluttershy!” The two turned to the right and saw Derpy with a giant bazooka that had a giant muffin in the missile port. “Breakfast is served!”
She fired the giant muffin with a loud bang. It sailed through the air and knocked Fluttershy off of Rainbow Dash and into a nearby wall, crashing right through it. Rainbow Dash just blinked at the sight before turning to Derpy, who ran up to her and held out her hoof. “Come with me if you want to live.” Reaching out, Rainbow Dash grabbed the hoof and was taken into the air, dragged by the cross-eyed pony.
Just as they left, out of the rubble burst Fluttershy, screaming with frustration. “Give me back my Dashie!” she yelled and took off.
Rainbow Dash glanced behind her shoulder and noticed the yellow and pink streak heading straight for them. “She’s gaining on us!”
Derpy turned around and fired muffin after muffin with her bazooka, but Fluttershy punched each one of them into crumbs as they came. Derpy looked around for an escape route and noticed the park nearby. Dragging Dash with her, Derpy made for it and landed, placing her behind a tree while she continued to fire her muffins at Fluttershy. Fluttershy, in turn, grabbed one of the muffins in midair and threw it at Derpy, knocking the bazooka out of her hooves.
Before she could recover it, Fluttershy knocked Derpy off her hooves and they landed in the nearby pond. Both mares tried to get ontop of the other, tearing their manes and punching each other over and over again. Finally, landing near the water, Fluttershy got on top of Derpy and screamed, “You’re mine! And then Dashie and her panties will be mine! Nopony shall keep me from my destiny!”
“She belongs in a hospital! Her butt is bleeding!” shouted Derpy, fighting off a hoof in her face.
“The only pony who will be bleeding is you when I’m done with you!” cried out Fluttershy.
Just then, a small little voice cried out, “Hello!”
The two stopped and turned to their left where they saw a small turtle with a cute smile. The weird thing though was it had a red button on the top of its shell. Fluttershy immediately cooed and put her hooves to her cheeks. “Awww, it’s a mine turtle.”
Derpy’s eyes rotating as she noticed the red button and lifted her hoof. “What does this button do?”
“No! Wait! Don’t!” shouted Fluttershy, but it was too late.
Click.
BOOOOOOOM!
***
Rainbow Dash saw the explosion from her hiding spot and gulped. “I think that’s my ticket to get out of here.”
With that said, she flew out of the park as fast as she could.
***
Back at ground zero, an ash covered Derpy and Fluttershy stood still as statues. Coughing out a small cloud of soot, Derpy said, “When you meant... mine turtle...”
“I meant literally,” coughed Fluttershy before her eyes rolled up and she fainted.
“Oh,” said Derpy before doing the same thing.
***
Rainbow Dash decided that the only way she was going to make it out of here alive was to pack her things and leave Ponyville. Maybe even change her name and live a new life somewhere far west. The Buffalo Tribes were a nice bunch of folk! As she tried to get out of town she made sure to duck behind anything that would protect her from being seen by any of the various search groups tottering around the area. Bushes, crates, lamp-posts, even a port-a-potty or two. Anything was better than being hunted.
The only problem was her home was about two miles away. How the hay am I going to get there!? At this rate, it will be next year when I get home! thought Rainbow Dash, hiding inside a barrel.
She then quietly and carefully got out of the barrel, only to find herself slipping on a stray banana peel. “Woooaaah!” she cried out, as she slipped on the peel and knocked over the barrel. Falling onto it’s side, she was rolling on top of it as she found herself heading back into the public street. The coke bottle finally slipped off her hooves, making her land on her rump with a hard thud. She winced but then gasped as the coke bottle sailed into the air before crashing through a window.
A window that happened to belong to “Alarms, Glass Panes, Cymbals, and Motion Sensitive Airhorns Euporium.”
Sure enough at least a hundred sirens and bells were screeching and whistling loud enough to wake up all of Ponyville. Everypony turned to Rainbow Dash who was already running down the streets. Obviously, a large group of ponies demanding her panties was right behind her. Rainbow Dash turned left and soon found herself trapped within a dead end of an alley. She turned around where the grinning group of panty-obsessed ponies slowly inched towards her, their mouths watering.
Rainbow Dash pressed herself against the wall and gulped. So this is it? This is how it all ends? Torn apart because of underwear? I’m sure there are worse fates... sadly I can’t think of any right now.
Before the mob of ponies could descend upon her, dark clouds formed above their heads. Darkness covered the area as lightning crackled in the sky. Soon, a being descended upon them like a dark goddess with her wings spread as her voice cried out, “HEAR US SUBJECTS! THY CHAOS SHALL BE PUT TO AN END!”
Everypony’s mouth dropped as Princess Luna landed before them. After picking up their jaws, they all quickly bowed. She gazed upon the ones who were chasing Rainbow Dash before she pointed her hoof and shouted, “Thou shalt chase after the Element of Loyalty no more! She is under our protection! We have spoken!”
Rainbow Dash felt her heart soar out of her chest and do back-flips in the air upon hearing this. If Princess Luna was really going to get her out of this mess then she would praise the moon for the rest of her life. Princess Luna walked over to Rainbow Dash and sheltered her with a wing while her horn glowed. Before she knew it they were starting to disappear.
“We shall provide sanctuary for thy delicious panties! Now we go!” cried out Luna as she and Rainbow Dash teleported in a wink of magic. The dark clouds began to subside as the group of chasers all pouted with the fact they had to stop their chase.
“Wait a minute,” cried out one of them, ”Did she say ‘delicious’ panties?”
***
Whatever bedroom a “Princess of the Night” was suppose to have, Rainbow Dash had a sudden suspicion that this wasn’t what it was suppose to be. There were scented candles everywhere, along with rose petals decorated around the bed and on the blankets. The curtains were shut and the only light was coming from the candles. Already, Rainbow Dash’s warning bells were going off. She was starting to suspect her “rescuer” was more her “kidnapper”.
Princess Luna, holding two half filled glasses of wine, walked over while sashaying her hips back and forth. “All that running must of made thou thirsty, Rainbow Dash. A drink?”
“Um, thanks,” said Rainbow Dash who couldn’t deny her parched throat. She hadn’t run so much since the Running of the Leaves. She guzzled down the sweet alcohol and sighed in relief. “Well, thanks for the rescue, but I need to be going now.”
Rainbow Dash turned to leave via the door, but she was suddenly pulled back by dark blue magic and thrown towards the bed. “Hey! What the?!”
Princess Luna drank the rest of her wine while Rainbow Dash struggled against her telekinetic grip. She then turned to a small boombox that was on a dresser and pressed play. “We apologize for the deception, Rainbow Dash. But as they say,” she tossed the wine cup away and licked her lips, “all’s fair in love and war.”
“But... why?!” begged Rainbow Dash.
Princess Luna sighed. “One thousand years, Rainbow Dash. We have not had a lover for over one. Thousand. Years!”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widen. “Oh... yeah... that would be kinda sucky...”
“Our Royal Lower Lips have gone untouched by another for so long! We burn for the feeling of another’s fur to nuzzle us in the most intimate of places! We wish to mate! To make love! To have nookie! To do the deed! To let off steam! To have snu-snu! To bang she bang! To fuc-”
“Okay! We get it! You want sex! Geez, why not just ask any guard of yours too do it?!” demanded Rainbow Dash, nervously biting her lip as Luna got closer.
“Well, We would, but apparently Celestia made it illegal to do so. Not to mention she got rid of our right to have concubines, the little witch,” muttered Luna. She turned her eyes to Rainbow Dash as she stood above her, caressing her cheek with one hoof and her flank with the other. Inching towards those rainbow panties. “But it matters not. Once We have thy underwear, We shall ravage thy rump so much you will be numb for days.”
“I can’t let you do that, Princess Luna!”
The two of them turned to the windows as the curtains opened. In the bright light, shining like a beacon of hope for Dash, was none other than the one true hero of the world. He who stands against all the forces of evil. He who is the handsomest, smartest, most beloved and—
HEY! Who the heck says you can take over my story! I’m the narrator here pal, not you!
Well, sorry for providing some better commentary than your usual stuff. Besides, you have a few errors there as usual.
Just quit using your chaos powers on my laptop and get back in the story before I decide to not include you.
Fine... also when are you gonna update Palace Perils? Everybody keeps asking.
If you don’t give me back control I swear I will write a story where you are in a crossover with Blue Gender, Mermaid Melody, and BOKU NO PICO!
Fine. Party pooper.
Why you little... oh wait.. umm...
Anyway...
It was none other than Discord, with a super hero cape around his neck and a large golden D on his chest. Rainbow Dash looked at him with a green face. “Oh sweet Celestia, no! Please no! I’ll take Luna, Derpy, or ten Fluttershy’s before I have you try to take my panties!”
“For your information, Rainbow Dash, if I wanted your panties I could have had them with a snap of my fingers while vacationing in Las Pegasus. Luckily, I happen to be not interested in you. I am here to rescue you, as a matter of fact,” declared Discord as he strolled in, walking like he owned the place.
“Oh, and what, pray tell, dost thou think you can do, Discord?!” shouted Luna as her eyes glowed white and her aura of magic spread over her body like a giant great flame. “We are the Princess of the Night! Raiser of the moon! Vanisher of nightmares! There is no great power on this earth that can ever stand to our mig—”
Discord snapped his fingers and, with a simple flash, Luna was gone. Dash, now free from her magic, stretched her legs before looking back at where Princess Luna was previously. “Where did you send her?”
“Oh, someplace familiar...”
***
Princess Luna blinked as she looked upon the cold, grey wasteland before looking up and seeing the planet right above. It took her only a second to realize why this felt so familiar as she began to shake with rage.
“DISCCCCCOOOOOOOORRRRRDDDDD!!!” shouted a long voice on the moon.
***
“Okay, not that I’m complaining and all, but why did you save me? What’s the catch?” demanded Rainbow Dash, crossing her hooves and eying the Spirit of Chaos.
“Me? Why is it so hard to think that I’m just doing this as part of my efforts to redeem myself as a good soul?” asked Discord, a halo appearing over his head.
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.
Sighing, Discord grabbed the halo and ate it like a donut before answering. “Well, if you must know, your little panty search has cause a lot of fun chaos that I happen to be enjoying and I don’t want it to end yet. So I’ve decided to get involved, just this once, in order to have the fun continue.”
“Figures, even when you're helping you're still you,” muttered Dash.
“I aim to please. Now, shall we send you back home?” asked Discord, readying his fingers, but Rainbow Dash got right in front of his face and glared.
“Oh, no you don’t. For all I know you’ll teleport me into a giant mob of those who are chasing me. I think I’ll take my chances flying home!” Dash flew out the window and soon was nothing but a multi-colored speck.
Discord watched her go before shrugging. “Well, I was going to help her avoid the one who's waiting for her. But then again it will be so much more fun to see her expression.”
***
Rainbow Dash never felt so happy then the moment she saw her house. She landed on the front porch and sighed in relief upon feeling the familiar and safe clouds. Now she could hide out in her house or pack her things and leave town for a few days. She was about to reach for her door when something bright red, like a flaming fire, landed right in front of her.
Dash felt her entire body freeze upon seeing who it was.
Spitfire glared at Dash before poking her in the chest. “Okay, Cadet. You and I need to have a talk. Now.”
Author's Note
Yes, I added a mine turtle. So what
Also, never watch Boku No Pico
Last chapter coming soon!
Please support my Patreon
The End... in more ways the one
Rainbow Dash hated borrowing a line from one of her friends, but of all the worst things that could happen. This was The.
Worst.
Possible.
Thing!
Spitfire, her hero, was glaring at her harder than the time she and some of the other cadets reversed the septic tanks in the academy as an April Foals joke. That had earned her latrine duty for ten weeks. Rainbow Dash quickly flattened her bottom into her cloudyard to avoid her seeing the panties. “H-Hey, Spitfire. What’s up?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you can explain why all of Ponyville seems to be trying to catch you or why you're avoiding me and the other Wonderbolts? I want answers, cadet. Now,” demanded Spitfire, stomping on the cloud.
Rainbow Dash gulped and tried to think of her options. Option 1? Tell her the truth. Sure, and let’s go fly up to the sun and kiss it while I’m at it. Option 2? Fake a heart attack. Nah, I did that last year to avoid getting a hooficure. Took me all day to dig myself out of the grave. Option 3. Run like the wind. Best option I can think of.
“Okay, Spitfire, I’ll tell you every-holy crap an alien!” cried out Dash, pointing out in the distant sky.
Spitfire rolled her eyes. “Dash, do you really think I’m that—”
The sound of something materializing in the air, like a combination of a vacuum and an engine echoed in their ears as both ponies’ eyes widened at the sight of something blue materializing in front of them. The form was coalescing into the shape of some kind of blue box with a light on top blinking. Both pegasi stared at each other before turning back to the box which was now floating in the clouds.
A set of doors opened up and from them appeared what looked to be a giant ape-like creature wearing a big coat and multicolored scarf that looked to be almost twice as long as he was tall. He looked around the area before noticing the two and smiled. “Hello, I’m The Doctor. Does this planet happen to be Galicon III?”
The two shook their heads.
“Pity. Must have taken a wrong turn. Last time I let K-9 drive the TARDIS. Would you care for a jelly baby?” he asked, showing them a few colored looking candies. The two shook their heads again. “Suit yourselves. Well, best be going. Farewell,” he said with a smile, but not before popping one of the colored treats into his mouth, and closed the door.
The box began to make that sound again as it faded away until nothing was there. Spitfire blinked a few times before turning to Rainbow Dash. “Did you see that...” She paused when she realized that nopony was there. Looking up she saw a blue blur flying away in the distance as fast as possible. “Oh, son of a...”
Spitfire took to the air and chased after her target.
***
“Can I have a spot of honey with my tea?” asked the still drugged Fleetfloot as Soarin guided her down the streets.
“Sure, Fleetfloot. Whatever you want,” replied Soarin, rolling his eyes. Between hearing her recite haiku on the difference between a fish and dish despite sounding the same and wondering if grass tasted like pudding, this was the sanest thing she’d uttered yet.
Fleetfloot laughed before hugging Soarin and snuggling into his cheek, much to his embarrassment as ponies looked and turned away with bright red cheeks. “You’re so good to me, Soarin. Why aren’t we dating?”
“Because I have a coltfriend in Appaloosa, remember?” pointed out Soarin, wishing he was there instead of here.
Pouting, Fleetfloot said, “Aw, why are all the hot guys gay. Hey, what if I go gay? Then the three of us can have gay sex or something. That’s how it works right?”
“No, Fleetfloot. That’s not how it works,” muttered Soarin. “How many drugs did they put in you?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you ask Commander Hurricane over there. If he can stop making out with that changeling queen,” said Fleetfoot, pointing to a fire hydrant next to a lampole.
Soarin rolled his eyes but stopped midway as he saw a familiar rainbow colored streak jetting around in the air while a flamed streak was right behind it. “Hey, it’s Rainbow Dash and Spitfire!”
Fleetfloot looked up in the sky and narrowed her eyes. “What? All I see are the fairy mushroom squirrels, showering us with their holy stardust that will bring us good fortune in agriculture. Right over by the flying cows of moosalvia that feast on the cheese of goats to please their dark gods else they steal their socks.”
Ignoring his teammate, Soarin watched as the two figures danced in the sky like it was an actual show. Ponies were watching the performance with cheers as Rainbow Dash zig zagged through a series of nearby houses at speeds even Soarin wouldn’t risk while Spitfire did a perfect arc dive to intercept Rainbow. Rainbow, in retaliation, zoomed back up.
Spitfire, roaring, had flames appear on her wings and she shot the flames forward. Dash managed to dodge them all except for one that hit her tail and lit it on fire. The crowd gasped as some shouted worry, not for Rainbow Dash, but for the panties she was wearing.
Panties? thought Soarin as he looked closer and saw that Rainbow, who was trying to blow the fire out, was indeed wearing underwear. Why is she wearing that? In public?
“What in Sam Hill’s barn is goin’ on here?” asked a mare that Soarin recognized as the one who gave him that awesome pie at the Grand Galloping Gala that year.
“I’ve been trying to find an answer for that since I got here,” replied Soarin before he turned back to the flying match above.
“I wish I were made of cheese,” whispered Fleetfoot.
***
If this was any other day, Rainbow Dash would be beyond excited to have a flying match with her hero Spitfire. So far she had been avoiding her Captain’s attacks, but all the insane flying and running she had done today was finally catching up to her. Sweat poured down from her brow as she looked down from her altitude where Spitfire was coming straight for her.
Rainbow Dash knew there was only one trick left to play: a game of chicken.
Taking a deep breath, she dived down with a war cry. Matching speed for speed with Spitfire. The Captain of the Wonderbolts only increased her speed and showed no signs of stopping. Flames began to appear at the end of her tail while Dash’s began to channel rainbow colored lightning. Everypony down on the ground gasped as the two speedy forces looked ready to collide.
“Everypony hit the deck!” shouted somepony in the crowd as they all ran away screaming.
The two forces collided and an explosion erupted in mid-air from the clash. Shockwaves of flames and lightning shook the town as glass shattered, rooftops were blown off, and dozens of ponies were knocked off their hooves and into the air. A bright flash emerged and blinded all nearby. Even those of neighboring towns could see the explosion.
Finally, as it all settled down, a crater lay in the middle of town, smoke and rubble everywhere. Deep in the center, covered in soot, were Spitfire and Rainbow Dash on their stomachs and rumps high in the air, looking like they had been through a hurricane. The sound of their moans was the only indication that either of them were alive.
Soarin walked over to the edge and peered down, noticing something about Rainbow Dash. Before he could say anything, a small orange blur dived down and latched on to Rainbow’s butt. “Ha ha!” shouted Scootaloo in triumph. “It’s mine! It’s all mine! I got the panties and now my life long obsess... I mean my life long dream shall finally be realized! Rainbow Dash is mine!”
“Uh, kid?” said Soarin. “I hate to break it to you, but she’s not wearing any.”
Scootaloo’s widened as she looked down and saw that Dash’s panties were indeed not on her rump. “W-what?! Where are they?!”
“Can somepony please get this off mah face?”
Soarin turned around and saw Applejack wearing the surprisingly still undamaged panties on her face. A trumpet sound erupted as Pinkie Pie, throwing confetti everywhere, appeared right behind Applejack and cheered in celebration. “Congratulations, Applejack! You get to go on a date with Rainbow Dash!”
“Wait, what?!” shouted Applejack, turning around with her eyes nearly poking out of the panty holes.
Rainbow Dash slowly crawled out of the hole, Scootaloo still holding on but looking ready to cry, and walked over to Applejack. She stared at her. For a very. very long time.
“I... am going... to dare you... so much... next time... ugh,” she said before fainting.
***
One last time, Rainbow Dash made sure her mane was good enough for her upcoming date. She decided to give in into Rarity’s insistence on at least combing it, and she had to admit it looked pretty good. Sighing, Rainbow exited her bathroom and made her way for the stairs. It had been a week since the whole “Panty Incident” as the papers called it. Apparently, Dash’s exploits had started a fashion statement where everyday ponies were now wearing their panties out in public, even the princesses could be seen in their underwear like nothing was wrong.
If that wasn’t enough, dozens of fashion magazines were calling for Rainbow Dash to model for them. Her pictures with Photo Finish were a hit, and she had a huge bank account now thanks to them. Enough for her to retire and just live the good life.
Of course, Dash was still aiming to be a Wonderbolt, which she was now one step closer to thanks to her little show with Spitfire. Apparently, she was impressed by they way Dash had stood up against her in aerial combat and offered to give her a chance to fly in a few shows to see how she was doing. If she did well for a year, she would be promoted to permanent main event status.
She still had to clean the suits of every Wonderbolt for the next three years, but it was worth it.
Opening the door, Rainbow Dash flew down and landed right over where her date of the evening was. “Hey, AJ.”
“Hey, Rainbow. Ya sure ya want to do this? Ah mean, we don’t have to go out,” said Applejack, blushing.
Rainbow shook her head. “Nope. I’m done fighting fate. Might as well just get into liking mares because it seems that’s all the universe wants me to do.”
Applejack shrugged as the two of them headed into town.
***
The two were able to make it to the town hall just in time for the show. Both of them decided to make their date on the eve of the Cutie Mark Crusaders new performance they had been training for. They had spread word of it, and ponies decided to come see what the three infamous fillies were up to. If only to see, hopefully, another silly performance like at the talent show.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack found their seats right next to Derpy and Fluttershy, much to their surprise, who greeted the pair. “Hey, girls. Here for your date?” asked Derpy.
“Yeah. I’m surprised you two are sitting together after what happened last week,” said Rainbow Dash, taking a seat.
To both their surprise, Fluttershy and Derpy started nuzzling each other as the former replied, “W-well, when it was all over. We found ourselves depressed about what we done so we went for drinks. A lot of drinks.”
“Next thing we knew, we were in Fluttershy’s cottage on top of each other,” said a blushing Derpy. “In... panties...”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other with raised eyebrows, but both decided not to ask. There had been enough weird stuff going around town for the past week and it was best not to question it.
The crowd began to quiet down as the lights went out and a spotlight shined on the curtains. Scootaloo’s voice shouted over the audience. “Fillies and Gentlecolts! Get ready for the newest sensation. The three dazzling Panty Crusaders!”
“Wait, what?” said both Applejack and Rainbow Dash as the curtains open, and their mouths dropped.
Provocative music began to play as the three crusaders, dressed up from their rock band gimmicks but wearing panties that were way too big for them, started dancing on screen as Apple Bloom rushed to a mike and said, “We’d personally like to thank Rainbow Dash for her inspiration and Applejack for her panty donation!”
The spotlight shined on the two blushing ponies as everypony turned to them. Rainbow Dash leaned over to AJ and said, “Bail?”
“Bail.”
But just as Applejack and Rainbow Dash made a move to get out, she heard the entire audience gasp and turn away with disapproval. They looked around, wondering what was wrong until they heard the audience talk.
“Ew! They’re naked!”
“Not a single piece of panties on them! Disgraceful!”
“This is why our society is crumbling!”
“If they want to be naked they should do it in their homes at least!”
“Dang, AJ’s got one fine butt!”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack just looked at each other before muttering, “Oh, come on.”
Author's Note
Thanks for enjoying the story guys! Hope you loved it!
Hope the ending was okay as a finisher. I always have problems ending humor stories.
