How I Met Derpy

by Dovahbrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 9776

Believe it or not, I'm an earth kid who got sucked into Equestria.

Yep. It's true. I live in Equestria now. Ever since a few days ago. It started with Derpy Hooves, who fell through a hole and landed in an alleyway on her head. I found her, and some interesting things happened since then, and this is the story that tells all.
(Warning: tagged teen for mild swearing, suggestive themes, and a lovestruck Derpy).
WARNING: a sequel will be here soon for those of you who love this one. The link will be below this edit here when it's online and posted and all the formalities.
Edit: THE SEQUEL IS UP!!! YAY!!! To go to the sequel, click here.

Published 2014-03-01 20:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-26 21:08:41 UTC

First day of school with Derpy *EDITED*

First day of school with Derpy *EDITED*

"So, wait," said Derpy. "You mean to tell me that I'm on a planet called Earth, and that Equestria is all apart of some show that girls called Pegasisters and guys called Bronies watch called 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'?" I gave her some of my clothes the previous night, since she didn't have any except for the ones I found her in when she fell from equestria. "Yes," I said. "And in case you're wondering why I've given you a backpack, I think you should probably hang with me so you don't get taken advantage of. After all, Equestria isn't anything like Earth. For example, it's a mean, violent place, with people who wouldn't think twice about double-crossing you if they felt it helped them get their way in life."

Derpy smiled, looking at me with those amazing golden eyes, and said "Okay, sure. But since I have wings, we should probably get to your school faster by flying." She said. I tried to warn her that her wings weren't a part of her human body, but she already got a running start going. At 15 feet away, she jumped, and before she could fall, I ran (since I'm very fast) and slid on my back, dirtying my cargo vest. 'I don't know what pushed me to slide on my back, but with the dirt on my vest and ass, I'm not so sure that'll be happening again,' I thought as I said to Derpy, "Listen, as a human, you don't have wings. The only way that'd be possible is if you were in an anthro dimension." She scrunched her face, which was really cute, and asked "What's an...anthro?" I couldn't help but chuckle as I got out from underneath her to help her up.

We both dusted ourselves off, and walked together to Halsey, laughing at some jokes I read from this corny as hell book I had called 'Awesome Good Clean Jokes for Kids.' She looked at me, and I noticed she took off the band-aid patch. I asked, "So; it healed, huh?" She looked up, and looked back at me, saying, "Oh, yeah. I took off the band-aid patch this morning after I brushed my teeth. I then cleaned off the spot. Looks disgusting, doesn't it?" She asked, laughing awkwardly. "No. You look fine...I mean IT! It looks fine! Yeah, that's what I meant." I said, looking away. As I was watching Mom go inside the Key-food store to start her stressful day of phone orders, I saw her wink at me as she went inside, and I had a confused face. She wasn't normally approving of me being all 'Buddy-buddy' with girls since it lead to girl-crazy mode.

I looked back at Derpy, who was looking at me with both eyes focused on me. I asked how she was able to keep her eyes like that when she had crossed-eyes. She giggled really cutely and said "Oh, that's easy, silly. If I focus really well, Both my eyes will go the same direction. Otherwise..." she finished, her eyes becoming crossed again. "This happens." "Can you still see perfectly?" I asked. Then I said, "No offense, I mean come on; you're the best pony on the show to me. And it's even cooler that you're a real...person? Pony? I think I'll stick with person until you get back to Equestria. It's just that...you tend to be accident prone." Derpy nodded and said, "I know you're not trying to be offensive, but my eyes actually have nothing to do with my clumsiness. I'm just a bit of a clutz." I understood, and we walked further, until she eventually wobbled onto one side and leaned in on me. I decided that I was going to hold her on my back and get her there. After all, I think the reason she was heavy was because I was tired last time. Plus, my backpack is actually a messenger bag. So, I got down to let her get on my back.

She got on, and I slowly raised myself. I then ran towards the schoolyard. derpy was having so much fun, holding out her arms as she laughed. I went inside the cafeteria and got down so she could get down. She got off, and I showed her the way to Mrs. Joyce, my 9th grade ELA teacher. I spoke with Mrs. Joyce, and she said she wouldn't mind having to teach one more student. "So long as she isn't loud like the rest of your class," she added. I got some breakfast on the school line for her since I ate at home, and showed her where to sit in order to eat breakfast, since the janitors are half lazy in the mornings. However, just in case something happened, I sat next to her. My bipolar African American friend Marques came over and touched Derpy in the ribs. I grinded my teeth, but closed my eyes and calmed down. He then leaned in between and said, "Yeah, what's good, nigga?" His way of being stupid, I guess, in order to impress girls. I hated when he said that word, but eitherway I reopened my eyes and looked at Marques, smiling as I said, "Oh, fine. Raped any girls lately?" This was the class' inside joke, but I'd be using it to tell him to piss off. I then added, "Oh, that's right; you just inappropriately touched a girl who you hardly even know."

Marques just said, "Looks like someone's in a pissed mood..." as he backed up. He walked away, leaving me to talk to Derpy about who to watch out for. I said, "Marques isn't an ACTUAL rapist. It's an inside joke we use since he's always hugging girls without them wanting one. Jean Lembert is an oddball but wouldn't hurt anybody. He does, however, sometimes say things without realizing they could possibly hurt somebody's feelings. Kelvin Flores is the kind-hearted soul of the class...except he's a little too sarcastic, even for me to handle. Coumba and Xiomara are friends, but are as close as sisters. There's also Jorge, who's sort of like Jean when it comes to words. Lastly, there's David Yadgarov; an asshole the size of a keebler elf. He starts something with everyone, then cringes in fear everytime someone tells him to fight if he's really able to back up the trash from his mouth."

I continued by saying "Trust me, no one else is more hated than David. If he starts with you, let me know; I'll knock some sense into him. Okay?" After eating her breakfast, she nodded and asked me to walk with her to the garbage can, since she didn't know where it was. I brought her to it, and she threw her stuff out. She adjusted the strap on her backpack, bringing it back to the top of her right shoulder. She walked with me to class, being as to how she would be in our class with me so I could help her out. I lead her to the second floor, then kept walking until we reached room 257 (my homeroom). I asked Mr. C if there was any lockers no one took yet and he told me "Locker 2 hasn't been taken. Maybe your friend could take it. What IS her name, anyways?" I looked left and right before saying under my breath so only he could hear, "Derpy Hooves." He simply looked at me and said, "You mean that uh, My Little Pony character you talk about constantly?" I nodded, and he said, "You know, Ian, April fool's day passed a long time ago."

I told him, "I'm not kidding, Mr. C! Ask her what her name is, she'll tell you." He decided to show her the locker she'd be using, then asked her name. She said, "Derpy Hooves," And he walked away saying, "He wasn't kidding about the eyes leading to her name..." I heard that, and thought it was mean. But Derpy was like a little schoolfilly, excited to do something new for the first time to pay attention to what the homeroom teacher said. I put my stuff in my locker, and turned around to see...David enter the class. 'Oh no.' I thought. 'Welp,' said my inner-self. 'Derpy's emotions are fucked, now.' I quickly got close so I could hear what's about to go on and be a witness. And, to make sure the ass didn't lie about Derpy starting anything, I put my phone on audio record. He walked up to Derpy, and said, "Whoo-wee! We got some hot stuff here tonight! Ian be baggin' bitches! You must be desperate, to be going out with a cross-eyed girl." Said David as he twitched. I forgot to mention; the kid's got tourette Syndrome, and well as a mouth that didn't know when it needed to be shut.

So, I should cut some slack on the kid, right?

Nope.

He may be the oldest kid in the 9th grade (fifteen), but he acts like a fucking 6 year old. Not to mention, his mouth gets in the way of making friends. I walked up next to Derpy and said "David, you've only been here five secondsa, and already I think you've said quite enough, don't you think?" He, however, ignored me completely and continued, "She be wearing them fake converses, and fake polo shirt. I got that Gucci and that Louis Vuitton shit and everything." I again said, "David, shut the asshole sewn on your face you call a mouth." He continued saying insulting things, then asked her name. She was starting to cry, her eyes becoming welled up with tears, as she said, "D-derpy H-h-hooves." David then said, "Derpy Hooves? What kind of bum-ass name is th--" Which was all he could get out before I lunged and grabbed his neck. I started to squeeze as I yelled in his ear real close, "I told you to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" And I ran towards a locker. I held him against them, and punched him in the gut. He squeeled in pain as I punched him again, even harder.

I then let go, and watched him slide onto his butt onto the floor. He held his neck as he gasped and wheezed. I sat on my heels as I said to him, up in his face, "This could have all been avoided had you just shut your muthafuckin' ass up." I got up, and turned towards Derpy, who was crying in her hands as she sat down in a chair, looking defeated. I pulled a chair up to her and sat down, putting my hands on her arms as I rubbed them up and down, saying, "Shhh, shhh. It's alright. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here." I brought her in for a hug, and she wrapped her arms around my ribs, crying all over my shoulder. I rested my chin lightly on top of her head, and sang softly to her;

Except, whenever I had to sing 'so just call on me, brother' I replaced brother with sister. Eventually, I broke the embrace, looking at Derpy as she wiped the tears away. Kelvin, Jean, and the rest of the class did something unexpected; they came in for a group hug. They all then broke the hug and offered their friendship to Derpy. Even Marques. Coumba and Xiomara offered to maybe braid her hair during lunch period. She smiled, tears on her face now being tears of joy. I took it she didn't get this much love all at once. I smiled and read another joke to make her laugh (to great success). The beginning of class bell rang, and since it was science class, I sat next to Derpy to help her understand what we'd be doing. Then came ELA, and I also sat next to her to tell her what we've been reading so far in "To Kill a Mockingbird." Basically, I sat next to her in all the classes to help her with the subjects in school. At seventh period, I went on te line with her so she'd know where to go.

The lunchlady asked her to put in her code, and she said she didn't have one. The lunchlady was confused, so I stepped in and explained "She's new here." So, Derpy got her lunch without a code, and was given one to use the next day. Then, after the school day, we went to the afterschool program, and she was allowed to stay even though she wasn't in the program because she technically had nowhere to go at the moment. I introduced her to a friend named Angel who, after hearing about this morning, offered friendship. At the end of the day, she came to my home, and I gave her some food. Mom came home, asked what she was doing here, and I told her a lie by saying; "she had no where to go. She ran from home and asked me to please give her a place to stay. And since you were at work, I couldn't exactly ask you right away."

Mom said, "Well, I would've said yes, just so you know." And she asked me where I was going to let her sleep, since I brought her here. I said she could use my bed, and I'll sleep on the couch. I wasn't going to let Derpy get a stiff back as the price for living with me. And so, night came. Derpy and I took our showers, got into pj's and slipped into beds. And for some reason, I dreamt of Derpy leaning forward to kiss me.
meanwhile, in Ian's room...

"I wonder if he likes me...back," muttered Derpy as she slept soundly in Ian's bed. She then rubbed the pillow against her head as she said "Oh, probably not. Still good to dream though..."

Author's Note

Okay, so; the ending, according to Derpy, actually happened *the clopping thing in the prev version of this chapter*. But, due to everypony not exactly taking kindly to it, this chapter is now revised at the ending..
See you guys in the next chapter.

Day 2: Derpy-fied!

There I was, staring at Derpy's beautiful face as she walked up to the alleyway that started it all. I was glad she could finally go home to her friends and family. But, as she started to get sucked into the hole above her, I grabbed her arm, and yelled over the loud noise of the wind coming from the hole "DON'T FORGET ME, PLEASE!!! YOU WERE MY BEST OF FRIENDS, AND I ONLY WISH WE COULD'VE POSSIBLY BEEN MORE!!!" She smiled, and tears got sucked up the hole as she replied, "Who wants a muffin?"

Poker face...

With that, she let go.

"NO, DERPY!!!" I yelled as I shot up from my sleep with my arm held out. I looked around and saw we weren't in the alleyway, but actually in the house. "Wha...?" I said as I rubbed my eyes. Derpy repeated, "Who wants a muffin?" I looked over to the hallway leading to the kitchen and saw Derpy holding a tray with hot fresh muffins. She cocked her head sideways and squeed as she looked at me. I wondered why there was something different about her. I removed the sheets covering me and got off the couch, heading up to Derpy and raising my hand half-way. I then said, "I'd love one...After brushing my teeth, of course. And taking a shower." At that last part about the shower, she blushed, and I made a confused face. I gave her a hug and walked up the stairs to the bathroom. I stripped down and took my toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower with me.

I wet my toothbrush, and as I poured on the toothpaste, I thought about my dream. I thought about the fact that it involved Derpy, like most of my dreams are now, lately. I shook the thoughts out of my head, however, as I then rinsed my mouth and finished my shower. I took my yellow towel and wrapped it around my waist and walked into the bedroom. I took out some boxer briefs, a white-beater and some socks. I put those on and then I picked out a suit. That day was picture day. Derpy, I realized, didn't have anything special to wear. So I had an idea! I asked mom to come with me to the bank so that I could take out some money. She agreed, so after eating some muffins, we hurried over to the bank and took out some money, then went to a nearby clothing store. We looked for a dress until she picked out a white dress with gold trimming that went down to her knees. We looked at the price and saw it was 20% off. So, she tried it on, and asked me to help zip up the back. I did, and she looked down, then looked at me with a red face. I looked at her with a smile, because I thought maybe she was just excited about the dress being a perfect fit.

We bought the dress, and she wore it to school. We laughed and played around on the way. When we got to school, Mrs. Karmic (the special ed dean) came up to me involving the previous day's events. I took out my phone and played the recording of David making fun. She nodded and chased after David, who was walking towards home room. Derpy and I looked at each other and laughed so hard we busted a gut. Then, we walked into home room and were swarmed by the class. a few of them even said we made a cute couple. I shyly looked away and scratched the back of my head. Derpy tilted her head downwards and put a hand over her mouth. They laughed, and at first period, we went downstairs for picture taking. I was chosen first, since my last name started with D. I sat down, and right before the lady took the pic, someone from the class pushed Derpy into me. So the picture came out with it looking like Derpy was giving me a hug and me returning the favor.

I was now on the floor, Derpy on top of me, staring at me with a huge grin on her face. I cracked a smile, and we laughed so hard we held our sides. She then got off of me and I stood up, holding out my hand so she could get up. Second period, we went to AIS, where I helped her out with turning on the computer and everything (remember; Equestria+ponies=no computer age). Then, math related AIS, math for two periods and science. Normally, these classes would've been boring, but Derpy made the teachers laugh in her own special way. So I guess you could say, Derpy's second day in earth's school system was Derpy-fied.

"You ever hear of love at first sight?" I asked my friend Savone on the phone. He and I go way back (like, seventh grade). He's the one who triple dog dared me to watch at least one episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Except when I went on Netflix, it became more than just one episode. But anyway, I heard wind whistle past the phone indicating he nodded. "But why would you bring this up if we're talking about season four?" he asked. I responded by telling him, "You're never going to believe who I found..." By now, Savone was confused, and asked, "Who?" I yelled into the phone "DERPY HOOVES!!!" Savone didn't believe me, and asked me to put her on the phone to prove it. So I did, and after they chatted (for about an hour), Savone said, "I believe you."

I told him "I think I'm falling for her. But I don't think she likes me back." "I'm sure she does. Just wait for her to tell you when the time is right. Then you'll know for sure," he replied. I said thank you, then said that I had to go to bed. We both hung up, and I went to bed, thinking "I hope Savone is right..."
meanwhile...

"Can't he see I'm making it obvious for him?" asked Derpy as she started to tear up. "I don't think he really likes me...I hope with all my heart he thinks of me as more than a friend..."

Author's Note

It is true, I was completely oblivious. I din't know Derpy liked me.

Day 3: The Weekend

Author's Note

Now, I will admit; in reality, the conversation Derpy and I had with Valentine-crin had plus the outcome was a bit different (except for the part where she tackled me). But I changed a couple things. For example, instead of taking place at the family friend's house, it took place in the car. So, yeah. This is chapter...four? Yeah, chapter four.

Day 3: The Weekend

The best time of the week is always the weekend. Because during that time, I go to a special place where the stress just leaves me. I get to go to the house of a family friend. But, I felt like if I go without Derpy, I'll never be able to send her back to Equestria like she asked me to. She asked for my help, and I was going to give her just that. So, I asked mom if Derpy could come. Mom was reluctant at first, saying no because she was afraid I might do something stupid. I promised nothing would happen, and she said it was okay. So, I packed some clothes for me and her, and when Tyrone (the family friend) came, he picked us up. I let Derpy sit in the front while I sat in the back, which I hardly ever did, but Derpy said she'd rather sit in the back with me. So after much debating, she got her way and sat with me. I was using the iPad that belonged to Tyrone so I could work on a new story idea on fimfiction.net, and I got side-tracked and went to Valentine-crin's user page.

I typed in a comment, "Hey, what's up?" After a while, he replied. "Oh, what's up?" he asked. There's a reason we knew each other before this particular moment. I had asked if I could do a reading of one of his stories on YouTube, and he said yes (after asking which one I'd be reading). Then, we started chatting, and that's how I became a friend of his. So, anyways, he asked how I've been doing. I told him I was fine, then told him he was never going to believe who was with me. He asked, "Who?" I waited a few seconds to add suspense, and replied; "Derpy!"

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"How?" he asked. I told him about how she fell through the hole in an alleyway and how I found her and everything up to that moment. He asked me how she was doing, and I told him she was fine, and that she was right next to me. I then asked if he wanted to talk to her. He said yes, and I handed her the iPad. She said hi, and after about 5 minutes, I got the iPad back and sent him a reply that said, "Hey; wanna know a secret?" He said yes, and I told Derpy not to look. "I really like Derpy a lot. I try to make it obvious, but she doesn't seem to notice. And it sucks because I don't think she likes me back," I replied. Then Derpy asked me for the iPad. I shrugged and said, "Sure. Why not?" She told me not to look, and said to Valentine, "You gotta promise not to tell Ian; I really like him, and I'm not sure if he likes me back." Valentine responded after a few minutes, with a message that said, "...........try asking." She told him she would, and she told me I could open my eyes now. I took my hands out of the way and looked at her. She started to turn a crimson red around her cheeks as she asked, "do...do you like me?" I immediately knew what she meant. "With all my heart. I've had feelings for you even before I knew you existed. And ever since the events that occurred after you fell through that hole, it made my feelings stronger."

She looked at me and started to blink as tears formed around her eyes. She then tackled me with a hug and started kissing me all over my face. I laughed because the flurry of kisses tickled so much. She stopped after realizing she was smothering me, and I swear my eyes spun in circles like in the cartoons when Mickey got hit on the head. I shook my head and said, "Wow..." Derpy giggled as she crushed me in her embrace. She grabbed the tablet and said to Valentine-crin;

"...He likes me..."

She then added the flutteryay emoticon and tapped post comment.

That night...

Author's Note

This time, Derpy's narrating. And we're both sorry it's so short, but it's because the chapter describes the later events of the previous chapter. Also, please don't ask me what happened to the pacing, because things just happened. I don't know why they happened this way, they just did. Also, don't ask me for details on what exactly happened in the end of the chapter.
Confused on what I'm talking about? Please read the chapter to find out what I mean.

That night...

"Omigod! You got me those new headsets I've been saving up for!" said Ian as we got to the family friend's house. I had taken out a little bag out of my knapsack. I showed him I had bought him these awesome skull candy headsets he's had my eye on. They have such amazing sound, he constantly tells me. Especially for making music with some app on the iPad called GarageBand. He got me a blueberry muffin (my favorite). I just couldn't stand looking at him any longer without kissing him. I leaned forward and closed my eyes, and he brought me in for a kiss. I felt so tingly all over, and he held me in his arms, embracing me. After a few minutes (which felt like hours), he broke the embrace and said, "Thank you. For everything." I nodded and blushed. It just felt so amazing to be here. Suddenly, he asked me, "So...what do you want to do?"

I gave him a certain look, biting my lip as I leaned in towards his ear. At first, he was blushing madly, looking like a fish gasping for air, until I said in his ear "Would you let me try out a video game or two?" He did a poker face, and shrugged. "Sure," he added. "Besides, I'd like to see how good you are." He lead me towards the living room, and asked Tyrone if he could play on the PS3. He was watching a movie, but since all the boxes in his house were connected to each other, he could just stop it at any time and watch it in another room. So, he said yes, and went into the other room to watch it. He started to set up the TV and the PS3 while I watched. After doing that, he listed the games we had, and asked me to pick. "Okay," he said. "We've got; StarHawk, Mirror's Edge, God of War 3, the inFAMOUS collection..."

He was about to name another game when I asked to play Mirror's Edge. He took the disc out and popped it in. He then handed me a game controller and pressed the button in the center. four red lights blinked four times, and then the first light stayed on. The game started to load, and when it went to the menu, I pressed X on new game. After a few hours, I was reluctant to stop playing. But I then realized how tired I was, and turned off the game and the TV. I then turned towards Ian and gave him that look again, but with...different...intentions. I got off the chair and walked towards him. As I then walked past him, I put my forefinger under his chin, dragging him to the computer room/other bedroom. I sat on the fold-able bed and pulled him onto it with me. I sat on his lap and we kissed. Things got heated, and in the morning, I woke up to him next to me, arm under my head and fingers wrapped in my hair.

In the Morning...

So, I woke up, and the first thing I saw was Derpy huddled against me, and my arm behind her with my fingers tangled in her hair. I closed my eyes again, then opened them wide as I realized what I just saw. I took my free arm and moved it towards the covers. I pulled them up slightly so I could see, and saw...well, you know. 'Shit,' I thought to myself. 'How could I do this? What the hell is wrong with me?' My inner-self replied with, 'Well, obviously, you're a stupid fuck who let Derpy's charm get the better of your judgement. Now take a shower, dumb-ass.' I agreed that a shower was in order, since I smelled of sweat and...other things. I got up, but then Derpy started to cry, so I put a pillow in place of me and she started nibbling on the corner of it as if it was my ear.

I then walked to the door of the computer room and walked up to the bathroom across from it. I turned on the water, letting it run down my back. I then lathered my body with soap, and washed it all off. After that, I pushed aside the shower curtains. I stepped out, and dried off, then put the towel on my head. As I dried off my hair, Derpy came in the doorway of the bathroom. She blushed like mad as she looked me up and down. She finally opened her mouth and said, "We didn't...do it...did we?" I nodded, and she fainted. I caught her, however, and brought her to the bed. I tucked her into bed, and went to the kitchen to bake some muffins (that's right, I can bake! so what?). As if on que, after I finished baking, Derpy came in with a silk robe on. She leaned against the doorframe, putting on her best sexy face as she said, "Well, I'm starting to gain some memory of what happened last night. Only one thing I could say about it...wow." I blushed and took the muffins out of the oven. I looked at Derpy and saw her sexy face was gone, replaced by a face with a drooling mouth.

"Go and take a seat, Derps. I'll put a muffin on a plate and give it to you." She went to the dining table near the TV in the living room. She pulled out a seat, and sat down, eagerly clapping her hands together like a 9th grade girl being asked to the prom...I loved it. I took the muffin with blueberries in it and put it on a plate for Derpy, while I took a raspberry muffin. I brought the muffins to the table and sat down next to her. I decided to move a little closer, and gave her a peck on the cheek. She in turn stuck a piece of blueberry muffin into my mouth. I did the same to her with a piece of my muffin, and after eating, we put our dishes in the kitchen sink. I then told her I was going to let her try out another game on the PS3 right after I told Valentine-crin something. So she patiently waited, and told Valentine on his user page, "Well, I found out Derpy had another surprise for me. And let's just say...I don't want to talk about it..." I clicked add comment, then set up the PS3 (after asking Tyrone of course). This time, I asked if she wanted to try out a new game.

She definitely surprised me by saying she wanted to play God of War 3.

But, I popped in the disc for it, anyway. I picked a new game for her and put it on easy mode since I unlocked normal mode already. She started to play, and when she reached the part where you go inside Gaia and you get o her heart chamber, I showed her where to find Zeus' Eagle. She got it, then continued playing. She was so into it, looking for relics from killing gods and getting seriously murderous number scores. After a while, she got bored (I don't understand how you get bored of God of War 3) and asked me to let her try out the GarageBand thing on the iPad. I gave her the iPad and handed her the headsets, showed her how to use it, then tapped the piano instrument for a new song. She played it like a pro. She then added a beat using the classic drum machine option for the drums instrument. After she was done, I thought it was so good, I posted it on YouTube.

Later on in the day, Tyrone took us to see Vampire Academy. The whole time, Derpy was leaning her head on my shoulder, my arm wrapped around hers. We left, and Derpy said she thought the movie was awesome. She then went with us to GameStop, where I got a new game for the PS3 (sort of); Assassin's Creed. It was a few years old but I heard the series was good and wanted to try it from the beginning. When we got home, I insisted that Derpy play first, but She gave me the controller. I started, and died on purpose to see how good a gamer girl she was. She fucking rocked it. She was sailing through the game, and before we knew it, she beat the entire game. I'll never forget that day. Before we knew it, the weekend was over, and we had to go back home.

This is where things get interesting.

Author's Note

Just a head's up; the next chapter is the one that explains how I got to Equestria. Keep Calm and Brony on, fellow readers!
~Ian

A teaser for you guys and gals requesting...no, DEMANDING a sequel

What is up, guys; this is Music within us your favorite Brony turned Pony from the rift in this story (ooh, I love how that sounded!) I know the status on this story is complete, but due to the early birth of my little filly Snow Cloud, I've decided to tease you guys and get you wanting more (hopefully). This is a teaser for the prologue of Snow Cloud's birth. Hope you all enjoy and tell me what you think when you read this; Tell me in the comments whether you will like it, love it or hate it. Here we go;

There in the Ponyville hospital, on one of the beds, laid a pregnant Derpy Hooves. She was howling in pain, squeezing the hoof of her husband Ian Lawrence DelValle, known to some of the locals as Music Within us. The reason for her pain; birth. She was giving birth to the filly they were expecting for nine months. Odd thing was, however, that it was only three months that passed, and already their little filly was ready to become a part of the world. Music felt no pain at all as he anticipated the filly's arrival. Derpy, however, was cursing up a storm as she pushed even harder each time. Finally, after a long, excruciatingly painful process, Derpy's ears perked up at the sound of crying. Nurse Redheart came to the side of the bed, holding a little unicorn filly wrapped in a sky blue cloth. Then, Music looked atop the baby's head, and noticed the mane was turning the same sky blue as the cloth upon making contact with the cloth. The baby's coat was a deep blue, almost as blue as the night sky.

After a few hours, the little one finally opened her eyes, revealing them to be the color of the sun in all its blazing glory. Music looked at the beautiful little filly his wife Derpy gave birth to, and realized he was proud of being a father. He put his forehooves on the side of the crib, brought his head in, and kissed the little filly's muzzle.

As I said, tell me what you think. As I say on fimfiction and on youtube, Keep Calm and Brony on!

The Hole to Earth

Author's Note

Note: this chapter from the beginning to the horizontal line goes to Derpy. From then on, I'll be narrating.

The Hole to Earth

So, Carrot Top, how's the garden?" I asked Carrot Top as she and I walked together through the park. We hadn't seen each other in a while, so I wanted to catch up on how things were. She scrunched her face and said, "Oh, fine. But there's...something odd...about this one section in the garden. It's sunken in, and now it's a huge hole in the middle of the dirt. About the size of two ponies." "What do you mean, Carrot Top?" I asked as we continued walking. She decided to bring me to the back yard of her home, and we both stared at the huge hole in her garden. It was...as she said. Big enough for two ponies. I trotted closer to it, and Carrot Top got a little worried. I Looked even closer, and Carrot Top, seeing I was going to fall, tried to bite my tail to hold me in place, but wasn't fast enough.

I fell through the hole, and tried to flap my wings to get out, but some sort of wind sucked me into the hole. I flapped as hard as I could, and got a wing-cramp. I stopped trying, and fell headfirst through the hole, and landed on something hard.

meanwhile...

"Anyways, I gotta head home, Richard. It was good seeing you again." I said to my friend from 8th grade. I miss Richard a lot, he was a good friend. A little annoying at times, but a good friend. He left Halsey after the 8th grade due to fear of snapping like a twig. This one kid wouldn't stop bullying him, so Richard punched him in the face and shoved him into a locker. I cracked up that day, because the asshole deserved it. He still graduated, of course, but he moved on to Forest Hills High. He had curly hair, so dark it appeared black in the right lighting. His face is indescribable, really, being as to how he makes a lot of faces. He was wearing some baggy pants and a cargo vest similar to mine (except his was cream colored and mine was dark grey).

He just laughed and did our handshake, and said "Alright, see you soon, Ian." After that, we went our separate ways, him heading to his home, and me heading to mine. I guess I should describe myself right about now. My name is Ian Lawrence DelValle. I'm fourteen, just like my friend Richard. I have wavy dark brown hair and brown eyes, tan olive skin, and freckles across the bridge of my nose. They hadn't become visible until I became fourteen, so they were always there. I was 5 feet 9 inches tall. My mom works at the Key-food a half a block away from home. I always take this one route to get home faster. The route; there's an alleyway between the store and the HSBC bank at the corner. I walk between there, leading me to the side of the block with the 'Sushi Fussion' kosher sushi store (don't ask why, that's just how they spelled the name of their store) and the 'Berrylicious' fro-yo store.

This is...well was, my fourth year living in Forest Hills, Queens. I was born and raised in Brooklyn. My dad left me and my mother to fend for ourselves, and he was somewhat able to. He never married mom. He had to visit from time to time and also pay child support. However, when I was seven, he stopped visiting. He got arrested. He went in and out of jail constantly but me, not knowing this until nine years old, still thought he was the shit in my eyes. I have ADHD and major anger issues (I'm calmer now, but had you known me in 1st grade, you'd have been scared shitless). In first grade, I flipped a desk that hit a teacher because a kid said I looked stupid. My mom took me to a doctor. He diagnosed me with ADHD, and prescribed some pill called concerta. I became a little depressed but always tried to never show it.

But, what's in the past is in the past. What matters is now, because now is the moment you'll always be living at the moment it happens, right? So, anyways; I'm walking through the alleyway, and halfway through it, some girl fell through a rift in mid-air. She landed on her head, and was knocked unconscious. I ran up to her, and knelt down. 'I know there's no such thing as angels, but THAT is one coincidence I'll never forget.' I thought. I then turned her on her back so I could see her face. Hair was in the way, so I brushed it aside, and looked at the beautiful face underneath. The only thing out of place was the blood on her forehead. I took out my water bottle and poured some on my fingers. I then wiped away the blood. I looked for something in my backpack to use, and only found the shirt I took off during gym class so it wouldn't get sweaty. I muttered "Time to put you to some use, eh?" as I wrapped it around her head. It was an old shirt, so I'd probably throw it out or something.

I put her on my back (which was incredibly difficult), and ran home. I took her off my back and put her arm around my shoulder while I dug the keys out my left pocket. I unlocked the door, punched in the code, closed the doors and brought her upstairs. I laid her down on the bed, and got a closer look at her...that is, after getting the bandages and some neosporin out of the medicine cabinet next to my room. She was up to my neck in height. She was wearing a sky blue shirt with a white collar and a yellow tie, a blue skirt with bubbles on the right side, and converse all stars over yellow and periwinkle striped socks. She was actually very pretty. But first things first; fix her up. Then, admire her beauty as you wait. 'Whoa there, bro,' I said to myself mentally. It was my inner-self, now stating, 'Your inner-self speaking; You hardly know her. Don't even try falling for her. At least try to know her first, genius.' "Yeah, you're right," I said to myself. "You've never let me down, you know? Except for that one time...but that's long done." Forgot to mention I'm a little crazy, too.

I walked up to the girl, and as I was undoing the knot on the old shirt, the girl moaned. I stopped for a second, then continued. After getting the shirt off her head, I took some neosporin and rubbed it on the wound. I then took out a big band-aid patch and put it over the spot. Done with that, I went downstairs to go get something from the fridge. Mom left a note that said, 'I'll be working until nine tonight. Eat your food, take a shower, then do your HW. Signed, Mom.' I crumbled the note and threw it out. I then opened the fridge and took out some Chicken Parmesan and put it on a plate, then after remembering I've got someone in my bedroom, I realized I should probably leave some. So I put half of the food back in the fridge, and put the rest in the microwave for 2 minutes.

After I finished eating, I went upstairs and stripped down in the bathroom, since my clothes were sweaty from running with a person on my back. I got in the shower, and started to lather my body with soap. I turned on the shower water, and leaned my hand against the shower stall's glass door. I was deep in thought about my life up to now. I felt I should think back on my life. I don't know why. I just...did. I started to cry (which I hadn't done in a long time) when I thought about my dad never really being there for me. after a few minutes, I turned off the shower water and took my yellow towel to dry off. I wrapped it around my waist so I wouldn't be cold on my way to my room. I headed to the room, and opened my undergarments drawer of my bureau. I took out some boxer briefs and put them on. It was right about then that the girl woke up. I turned around, and looked at the girl sitting up on my bed. She looked over at me, and I only had time to think, 'why is one eye going up and the other down...' before she grabbed my arm and judo-flipped me onto my bed.

She held me down as she asked me, "What do you think you're doing?" "Letting you stay here while that wound on your head heals," I replied. Her eyes widened as she felt her forehead, feeling a bandage over it. Her lower lip went outward and started to quiver. She got off me and sat up, crying, head in her hands. I got closer and put my arm around her, giving her a little friendly shake. She looked up at me and said, "I-I just d-d-don't know what w-went wrong..." 'That sounds familiar,' I thought to myself. But I shook that thought out my head as I asked "What's your name, miss?" That's a habit I gained from calling teachers at school miss. She said "D-derpy Hooves," as she wiped away the tears on her face with her wrist.

I swear the poker face I had would've put any meme to shame. "Say what?" I asked. 'No way,' I thought. 'If she's here...then that must mean...Equestria's real. I have to see it, I just have to,' She looked at me and said, "Look, I don't know how I got here or, where I am or even how to get back to Ponyville. Please, you've got to help me." I thought of saying I didn't think she could get back, but the way she looked at me with sad eyes on the verge of tears, I just felt it was my duty to help her. I just had to. So I said, "...Yes. I'll help."

And that's how it all began. From a hole in mid-air dropping Derpy head first into an alleyway.

The Hole to Equestria

Ever since that night, Derpy and I shared a bond stronger than anything. That rift in the Alleyway changed my life. It made life...suddenly so much brighter. However, It was also because of this that school sucked balls, now. On Monday, David started more shit with Derpy, constantly making her cry. I'd be trusted by the teachers to comfort her, which was good, but I had just gotten a cold...which was bad because I had a cold. I can't sing as well with a cold. So, I had to find other methods. On Tuesday, I got into a fight with David, and got Save room the rest of the day for breaking his nose and splitting his chin. On Wednesday, The worst possible thing happened.

Here comes the explanation;

So, remember that night Derpy told you about? Well, somehow David found out. He hates me as it is, so he decides to use it as ammo. As I walk to homeroom, I see David and some guys standing around her. One of them is being an utter douchebag and pretending to lift up her skirt. The other is laughing at her, pointing and everything. Finally, David is talking shit about her, saying thing like "Oh, you're a fucking slut. Go suck a dick. You know you want to. In fact, how's about you suck my friend's dick." As the guy pretending to lift her skirt grabbed her, I pulled my hood up and walked up to him. I put my hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at me, only to find some guy with a cargo vest, hood pulled low over his eyes.

Suddenly, as he tries to push me, I grab his hand by the wrist, and twist his arm inwards. As I do this, in one fluid motion, I jab him super hard in the gut. He takes a couple steps back, and pukes all on the floor. The other guy charges me, and I punch him in the face, knocking him back. He gets back up and tries to take another swing at me. I duck under and hit his inner calf, knocking him on one foot. I jump up, my foot kicking him in the face. He flipped and slammed face-first into a locker. A crowd was starting to form, they had seen what happened, so I was confident I wouldn't get in trouble. David tried to judo-flip me, but I grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm behind him. I then let go, smacking him in the back of his head. He got pissed, and swung at me. I blocked it, and rammed him into a locker, his head hitting a locker.

I snapped. I pulled him away from the locker, and headbutted him. He started to bleed through the nose. He kept trying to hit me, but I just either stepped back or blocked. Eventually, I yelled "ENOUGH!!!" and did a Sparta kick, sending him flying into an empty classroom. He got up, and he was dead tired. He swung, but missed. I took his arm while it was in front of me, and twisted the elbow upwards. I banged my head against his elbow, cracking the joint. He yelled in pain, and I flipped, kicking him in the face.

He rested in the hospital, and I left a note by his bedside that said, "FUCK YOU!!! Sincerely, Ian AKA the guy that gave you a bottle of whoop ass." I was already long gone, heading home by the time he read it. I was suspended for a day, however, because some of the teachers saw what happened. From beginning to end. I got home, and saw Derpy sitting on the living room couch looking defeated. The rug was soaked from the tears that fell from her face, and they were still falling. I came up to her and sat next to her. She tried to stop the teachers from suspending me, and they suspended her too in the process. She could care less about that, though. She wasn't even really a transfer student. She cared about the things David said. Calling her a slut, telling her to suck a dick; that bothered her the most.

I thought for a bit, and had an idea. I turned on my laptop, hooked it up to the TV, and played a particular song on YouTube;

I got up and held my hand out. She looked up, and saw my hand. She smiled weakly, and took it. She got up, and as the song played, I sang her the words. She blushed, and her tears stopped. I then brought her in and danced with her. She started laughing, the tears drying. I laughed a little, too. When the song ended, she looked up at me, and kissed me for so long Mom had finally come home. Mom just saw us, and smirked as she walked away towards the kitchen. I told her that I would take her to the rift now, if she wanted to. She nodded, and I told Mom that I was taking Derpy to the alleyway so she could go back to her original home. She simply nodded and said, "If it has to do with that rift, then I'll know you got sucked in if you don't return." How she knew about that rift, I've got no clue. But I just went with it. I left and grabbed the keys in case.

So, we walked into the alleyway, and looked into the rift, seeing a blue sky and...carrots. I lead Derpy to the rift and held her hand. The air started to suck her in, and when it did, I at first turned to walk away, but I realized I couldn't do that. She was my life, and I realized that a long time ago. So I ran towards the rift and jumped in. As I got sucked in, my body transformed. It didn't hurt a lot. My body shrunk, my hands and feet turning into hooves. My nose and mouth stretched into a muzzle, and my hair grew into a mane similar to a ruffled Mohawk. My skin went from tan to a light brown. My ears pointed at the top and moved up the sides of my head. That's not the part that hurt, though. The part that hurt was when wings sprouted out of my back and extended to the size of Princess Luna's wings.

Suddenly, I shot into the air, and braced for the impact that would meet me when I fell. But when I opened my eyes, I was hovering over the dirt floor. I looked up, and saw my wings flapping. They then stopped, allowing me to plant my hooves firmly on the ground. I looked around, and I saw a pony with an orange mane and tail looking at me with a confused look. I looked at my new body, and noticed two things...well, three;
1. I was still tall, even as a horse (damn it!)
2. I still had a cargo vest on.
3. I had a cutie mark. It was a heart with a treble clef inside it.

I couldn't believe that my talent was making music and having a love for it. I was always told I was an excellent writer. But, as I tried to think about it, I was tackled by a pink pony with poofy pink hair. I knew her from the show as Pinkie Pie. She looked at me with a huge grin and said, "Hi!" I looked at her awkwardly as she started to get off of me. I got up with some struggle, and saw her bouncing up and down. She told me with great excitement in her voice, "You're the third new pony I've met! First was that Lowell pony, then Gage, and now YOU!!!" I looked around, and finally spotted Derpy upside down against a tree. I galloped towards her and held out a hoof to help her up. She laughed and took it, then got herself right side up. She realized she was still holding my hoof twenty minutes later, and instead of letting go at noticing, she tackled me and kissed me. Pinkie brought her Party Cannon and shot me with it, sending me flying into the air. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital with a fractured foreleg and a broken wing.

'Well, Ian,' I thought to myself. 'Quite an interesting turn in events...for example, you somehow found your laptop in your backpack.'

That gave me an idea.

Epilogue: the Big Surprise

So, here I am, in Ponyville. I live with Derpy and her younger sister, Dinky. I know; She's Derpy's sister? Ohmigod!!! I'm shocked, too. But it turns out she's not Derpy's daughter, but actually her sister. I realized Dinky was a sweet little filly, and I wanted to be a part of her life as well as Derpy. Especially when Derpy told me the famous sentence, "Ian, I'm pregnant." Twilight had given her the results after using a particular spell. I work with Vinyl and Octavia, so there was no problem in using Vinyl's DJ equipment for something special. I told Dinky about it, and she pinkie promised to keep it a secret until I performed the special gift for Derpy. So, one day, I brought Derpy with me to Vinyl's studio. Octavia was in the back getting the wine, Vinyl was with her, taking a couple beers as well. Though, Tavi obviously told her not to. Anyways, I trotted to Vinyl's laptop and plugged in my iPod from my cargo vest (the only hard thing to do with hooves when I first came to Equestria). I pressed play, and the song 'Marry me' played. She immediately picked up on the message, which was when I put my muzzle into the top pocket and pulled out a wedding band.

Derpy held her right foreleg to her mouth, tears coming from her eyes. She looked from the ring to me, then smiled, embracing me in a hug. She whispered in my ear, "Yes." I grinned from ear to ear (pretty huge smile, if you ask me). Vinyl and Octavia came back with the wine, found us kissing, and Octavia popped the cork on the wine. It was the best day of my life. Now, you're probably wondering something like, How do you know Derpy? My answer to you is; remember that there's a Stallion sitting at the other end of this story, typing away with his hooves. And that next to him is a one month pregnant Derpy. So, there's your answer for those of you wondering.

Author's Note

Good bye, and may Luna's light shine upon you. It's been a pleasure writing this story for you all, and next time I see you, it will be with my next story "Code of Law: Code-name Code-X"