Insanity is a Mere Advantage

by Awesomedude17

Rating: mature
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Princess Luna, Comedy, King Sombra, Adventure
Length: 4553

A cosplayer cosplaying Trevor Phillips ends up in Equestria, and with the personality of said man as well.

So, you assholes finally found me, eh?

Well fuck you! I hate this shitty place!

All I see is sugar ponies, and happy smiles!

Fucking disgusting! No meth, no business...

That Sombro... Sombra... whatever the fuck that thing is called is going to get fucked, and so are those two assholes who control this shitty world. Might take care of those six too, just for the hell of it.

Time to go for five stars, cus' T-t-t-t-Trevor Phillips is in Ponyville!

A possibly canon story for the group League of Humans Acting Villainous.

Warning, massive language bombs and gore rampant throughout. (GTA, Trevor Phillips, do the fucking math.)

Published 2014-02-26 01:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-11 20:14:00 UTC

He Comes

Author's Note

Hey, Awesomedude17 here.

So, these stories are now a thing.

I figured that I'd do a story with a genuinely evil character, rather than people like the Spy or Krieg, who actually have some capacity to be good.

Trevor however, does everything for himself.

Enjoy.

He Comes

Insanity is a Mere Advantage
By Awesomedude17

"Why? Why the fuck did you bring me here?" I asked to that jackass.

"I suppose it was because you were a good little pawn."

"Pawn, PAWN. You think I am some little fucking chess piece in this game of chess?" I replied in a mocking tone, fully agreeing with the other half that controls me.

"And what make you think that..."

"Oh, I haven't heard that shit before, listen, no one likes you, and after I'm done with you, I'm going after those two next." I took out a Grenade Launcher, and took aim.

"FOOL, I AM KING SOMBRA, THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF..."

I pulled the trigger, and I took the time to remember what brought me here...

I suppose it began as a relatively normal day, I had gotten all the things I needed to cosplay as the greatest video game character in the history of forever. I already had the voice when I played the game, the character was just plain amazing. The outfit was simple, and the hairstylist... did not enjoy the results of what I asked for him.

Point was, I had turned into a near perfect replica of my favorite fictional character.

Trevor Phillips.

Of course, I wasn't Trevor, my real name's Damon, and I was waiting for my friends, who also were cos-playing as the other GTA V protagonists.

"Hey T, where the fuck are you?"

"I'm going out, you jackass, let me finish up!" I yelled, I was near perfect replica, but I needed make-up, to simulate the meth scars, and teeth. It took only about 20 minutes, but I was finished, and went downstairs, walk, dirty shirt, dirty sweatpants, boots, bald spot and all. I had even put temporary tattoos similar to those Trevor had, not the shitty, rub off ones, ones that were put on like real tattoos. Hurt like hell, but worth the price.

I got to the front porch, and saw a black sedan, and in it, were my two friends, Hiram, cos-playing as Michael De Santa, and Larry, cos-playing as Franklin Clinton. I got in the back seat and yelled out...

"Ladies, let's get our nails done!"

"Man, whatever." Larry said in a mediocre copy of Franklin's voice.

"Are you kidding me, am I the only one who got his character right?"

"Hey, you had the privilege of sounding like a guy on a video game years before he even existed." Hiram snarked.

"Screw you man, what kind of name is Hiram?"

"A badass one, he invented the machine gun."

Ugh, I only had a minor idea of how guns work, Hiram however was the guy who knew it all.

"You guys know more about guns than I do." Larry said.

"Of course, you're Franklin, you have poor marksmanship!" I said.

"Well I should be driving then."

"Yeah, but I was here first." Hiram replied.

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Damon."

I groaned. I couldn't wait to start acting like a jackass for the sake of being my character.

A few more minutes, and I was at the con. My buddies and me got out and we began to walk in. We had moved in and we met with all kinds of cos-players; anime, comic book heroes, movie characters, TV characters, even a few original ideas. OF COURSE, there was a few who had the same idea, and I found myself facing another guy dressed as Trevor Phillips.

"Watch where you're going, asshole." He said.

"Watch where you're going, fucker!" I replied with a stronger tone.

We closed the distance and scowled. People took pictures and videos of us staring each other down.

Once we were done, we moved away, scoffed at each other and walked away. That was good acting, I must admit.

"Man I love conventions." I muttered to myself. Hiram and Larry broke off with me, leaving me alone in a mass of people.

I went to a stall, and found many weapon props. The Blades of Chaos, a Trigun, the Master Sword.

One caught my eye, a generic grenade launcher, and it seemed to be a functional, if safe, prop.

"Hey, you!" I yelled at the stall owner, who just glared at me.

"Give me that Grenade Launcher, I'll pay you any amount."

He just looked and said, "$125."

Oooh, kinda steep. But I could manage with a diet of ramen for a few weeks. I took out the money I needed, gave it to the stall owner, and gave me the gun.

"Thank you." I replied in the way Trevor might reply, and then examined the weapon. It was a good copy, and it was obvious from the inside of the weapon that it was a fake.

I still felt like something was up with it.

But as Trevor would say it, 'Fuck It!'

When I found myself alone, I soon began to feel woozy.

"What... the..." The gun itself soon began to crackle, as if it was malfunctioning.

The last thing I saw was flash and the last thing I heard was an explosion before I saw that I was in a field. The weapon in my hands began to feel heavier, and so did what I had on. I looked into my sweatpants and found several weapons, including a freaking minigun. And then, I began to feel angry, filled with rage. I looked around, and this wave of light began to flow. When it hit me, I felt like I was being paralyzed. I lost my sight, my smell, my taste. All I could do it hear, and feel.

Hear and feel.

Heal and feel!

I panicked at this and soon enough, I passed out from the fear I felt.

I felt alone, and scared...

And angry, oh so... fucking angry!

When I awoke, I found myself unable to move, unable to see. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was that I was stuck.

"Mehahahahaha..."

"Hello, is there anybody who can help me?" I tried to say, but I couldn't move.

Time passed, and I was losing my sanity. What was going on?

"Welcome..."

What the... who was that?

"How are you enjoying this stone prison?"

"As much as an ass's ass." I managed to blurt out. I did not know why I even said it, I didn't even think of saying it.

"Hph, well if you're going to be like that..."

"Whoever you are, you better let me out or I'll break out and fuck your fucking skull after I rip it out of your fucking head!" Oh God, I realized something, I had now become the one and only Trevor Phillips.

Wherever I was, everyone wouldn't be safe if I did break out.

"Well, you seem eager. I have a offer I want to give."

That got me interested. "What is it?"

"You have to eliminate the rulers of the Crystal Empire, and bring me back to the physical plane."

"And if I refuse?"

"You'll be stuck in stone for the rest of eternity."

Shit, he was right. Knowing Trevor, I'd accept, do the actions I was given and get stabbed in the back, and go on a violent rampage that would end with some higher-ups getting six-feet under.

"I..." I said with a dramatic pause. "...Accept."

Considering the alternative, I at least had some ways of being controlled, mostly with money, a good deal with booze and meth.

"Before I release you, would you like anything?"

Oh God, I knew the exact things I wanted.

"My shit!"

Dammit.

"What?"

"My weapons, my truck, my meth!"

At least I clarified.

"Very well."

I began to heard some cracking. I did not know where I was, but as soon as I broke free, the light blinded me, and I feel to the ground.

"Oh, SON OF A BITCH!!! Fucking light!"

I began to hear some clopping, and I turned towards the sound. When I regained my vision, I saw horses, wearing golden armor.

"Halt, who goes there?"

"Whoa, that must have been some strong jenkum." I didn't really huff, whatever jenkum was, I don't even want to know what it was, I don't plan on finding out.

"Who are you?" The horse ordered.

"Trevor, Trevor Phillips. Now where's a bar? I am so fucking... whoa..." I fell backwards, my vision faded and the last thing I heard was a voice.

"Guards, what is that?"

"Uaaah... mother...mother... uaagh." I vomited the contents of my stomach onto the ground. Being stuck in a stone prison has taken it's tole on my health.

Either that, or I really became Trevor Phillips, and I'm going through withdrawal.

Shit.

Celestia looked at the being in front of her. It was disgusting and filthy. It was sickly looking, hairless, and whatever clothes it was wearing, it was obvious that it couldn't care what it looked like. It seemed to have been doing some kind of controlled substance as well and then there was stench coming from the being. She looked to the side and saw that it was a being that broke from it's stone prison.

"Guards, take it to the medical bay, if it attacks when it wakes up, knock it out and put it in the dungeon." Celestia ordered the guards.

"Yes, your highness."

"And gather the former bearers of the Elements, we will need them if the situation arises."

"Of course. Anything else."

Celestia looked thoughtful, and nodded.

"Get my sister, Luna and Discord, now."

"Very well, your majesty." The guards took the passed out creature and carried it to the medical bay. Celestia sighed, and took a deep breath.

What are you?

Questions

Insanity is a Mere Advantage
By Awesomedude17

I heard a slight beeping sound, and I wondered, 'where am I?' I opened my eyes, and saw a couple of gold-clad horses. My body instinctively tried to move forward, but I willed myself to stop. Considering I was willing 'Trevor Phillips' to not kill anything that pissed him off, that was impressive.

"What the... where the fuck am I?" I asked. If I was in real control, I would've been less blunt.

"You're in the medical bay, you've been out for a few days." One of the guards replied.

"A few days? FUCK ME!!!" As scary as it sounds, I would've said the exact same thing, or rather, my real self, rather than... well.

Makes me wonder, what would I be like if I started doing stuff.

There was the matter of the rampages, I may not have been Canadian, but Trevor is, and he doesn't enjoy it. Matter of fact, it causes rampages, which, while amusing from a player's view, might be a nightmare for an up-close watcher... such as me...

I scoffed and fell back into bed. As much as myself wanted to strangle one of them, I tried not to, for both the fact that it's wouldn't make a good first impression, and also for the fact that it'd probably still traumatize me completely.

I was at a loss, on one hand, I could just let go and give up controlling a guy like Trevor, but then I'd be dead or hated or both. On the other, if I try and control Trevor, do some somewhat 'heroic' actions, but I'd end up having a mental breakdown, and I might end up truly become Trevor Phillips, no Damon or nothing.

It scared me that I was damned if I do, damned if I don't, and dammit, like it or not, someone will die because of me, I just know it.

My train of thought was derailed when I saw two horses, one with a white coat, and another with navy blue coat. I just scowled at the two, in spite of my wishes.

"Now, tell me, who are you?" I remember that voice, and I replied,

"Trevor, Trevor Phillips. Who the fuck are you, asshole?" I mentally facepalmed, unable to control some of the words I say.

"Doth thou realise who thou art talking to?" The blue horse angrily replied.

"How about you answer my question, or I'll rip your fucking horn off and shove it up your cunt!" While 'Trevor' was angry, I was panicking and frightened. I was literally antagonizing the very per... whatever she is into attacking me. If I keep this up, I might be bleeding out with a stab wound, or worse, burned alive, like that ending where...

"YOU DARE..."

"Luna, enough!" The white horse ordered.

"But sister..." Sister. I raised an eyebrow at that fact. I made a mental note, hoping to make use of it later.

"I am sorry about my sister, she's a bit... excitable."

"Excitable... oh, that's rich." I snarked.

"I am Princess Celestia, and this is Luna, we are the rulers of Equestria, the land you are in. Tell me, where do you reside from?"

Considering I already introduced myself as Trevor, I might as well go along with the charade. "Sandy Shores, San Andreas."

"Sandy... Shores? I do not think I've heard of it."

"Yeah, I've never seen talking horses."

"We're ponies, actually."

"Whatever, I don't give a shit." I actually did, but my predicament prevents me from fully doing what I think... I really have become Trevor, didn't I... Oh no...

Whatever nervousness was going on with the true me, it was showing on Trevor.

"Is something wrong?" Celestia asked with worry. Think Damon, think! I got it!

"Withdrawal, need my meth." Worth a try.

"Meth? I do not think I've heard of that."

I suddenly lost control... I think Trevor lost his shit and is running on his gut feeling right now.

"No... m-meth?" I muttered, tone seemingly murderous.

"Tell me, how do you make it, we can administer it to you." I gained some control, but I knew something else.

I had chose to bring Trevor's meth here.

"It's shaped like a crystal, with my stuff. Aagh..." I began to have chills, I really was going into withdrawal, whatever brought me here changed me in the complete form of Trevor, save for a different mental state. Celestia had the guards move to get the brain-killing drug. I truly wished I was at the stupid convention, instead of suffering from meth withdrawal in a hospital bed with small, colorful ponies.

This is officially the worst day of my life, bar none!

Several minutes later, they came in with a pipe, and handed it to me.

"We took a small chunk and put it in this pipe. will this..." I did not even let her finish, I just took the pipe and a lighter, and lit it up. I smoked in the drug, and then I felt something, euphoria. I felt, energized, awake. Alive! Oh God, why am I enjoying this, I am mess now.

"Hehahahaha HAHAHAHAHA!!!" I laughed with gusto, no longer feeling like shit and got out of bed, taking the IV and heart rate monitors off of my body, I moved my sore body, stretching my legs, and looked at the two ponies. I scowled again and walked in, expecting to belittle them or something.

"Thank you." I said, clearly not sincere, but it was enough for the princess.

"Good, lure them into a false sense of security."

"Oh, it's you again. The fuck do you want?"

"You must get to the Crystal Empire."

"You must shut the fuck up, I just got here."

"Do you have a deathwish?"

"I had one more times than you could count!" Technically, that was true, considering that he pissed off the Lost MC, the Aztecas, the FIB, Merriweather and countless other people.

"If you would be so nice to follow me, that'd be great." Celestia said to break my conversation with that voice.

"Fine..." I figured I'd give her a break for bringing me that toxic substance. I found myself walking along, have a bit more control. I figured that if it wasn't the meth keeping myself under control, it was general happiness, which meant that I had to do things to keep myself entertained. I assumed that I thousands upon thousands of rounds of ammunition that I had that voice bring me with the rest of my gear, and if I was correct, so was my Canis Bodhi. If you don't know what it is, think of a Land Rover, paint it red.

I hope it has the upgrades that I had put on it for GTA V. It'd be nigh unstoppable then.

Heh, I guess this isn't all bad, a badass truck, with multiple weapons. I might have to deal with that voice later, but for now, I could enjoy this a little... if I don't lose my shit.

"So, Trevor... I have to admit..."

"What?" I said bluntly.

"I saw you much earlier than you were free from your prison."

"What?" I said in a mix of anger and annoyance. Made me think, how long was I here?

"I assumed that you were a chaotic creation by Discord that was left behind when we turned him to stone..."

"Oh, like me?" I replied sarcastically.

"Unfortunately, we assumed that you were a sculpture, not a living being in stone, and put you in the Canterlot Gardens."

I twisted my mouth for a bit, trying to find the right words.

I found them.

"Where's this Discord bitch? I wanna teach him a few lessons." I punched my fist into my palm. I may not have been thinking clearly, but I, at least, wanted to punch something, whether or not I was myself or Trevor. He probably tore me from my home, that enough warrants an ass-kicking. I don't care if I'm usually kind-hearted, that's not cool.

"You can try." Luna said in a tone that was half sarcastic.

"Try?"

"Discord, plain and simple, is chaos incarnate. Finding him is luck, attempting to perform a fight with him is downright idiotic."

"Maybe I want to be stupid." I snarked.

"Maybe you should dig your grave."

"Maybe I should dig four, one for me, and the rest for you dumbasses."

The guards surrounded me, and I just snarled. I wasn't having this shit.

"Guards, stand down," The guards did as they were told, as a truly loyal patriot would do. I found myself admiring those guards a bit, if only a little. "...and you, watch your tongue."

"Whatever."

"I have a feeling you're going to be difficult to deal with."

"You have no idea." These Sugar Ponies did not need to know that they were with a man who managed to get on a first name basis with the freaking LSPD. If that's shocking, how about the time he hijacked a cargo plane with only a crop duster, or maybe the time tried to steal a nuke from a PMC. I just hope I could keep control long enough to get on their good side... or get away.

We walked for several more minutes. I was nervous, not that I was showing it. If they make one wrong move, BOOM, everyone's dead, I'm running away, on the lamb for all eternity, and possible getting hanged.

Or maybe that voice makes me do things, right before wasting me. And who's to say I'm not gonna get stabbed in the back. I should've thought about all of this more right before breaking out, but dammit, I was strung out, weak and afraid. What was I sup...

"Alright, take a seat, we'll be with you shortly."

Celestia's words got me out of my trance and I found myself in a nicely organized room. I decided to make myself comfortable and sit down on one of the chairs.

All I could say was...

"What... the fuck... is going on? And why am I here? Ahh fuck it." I went to sleep right then and there, I wasn't tired, but I had nothing better to do.

Why didn't I ice that horse?

What was that? Ehh, I must be losing my mind.

Author's Note

Yes, this chapter's disjointed, but come on, we'd all be thinking about all kinds of thing if we were stuck somewhere we didn't know.

Also, what was that random thought?

Doing the Job

Insanity is a Mere Advantage
By Awesomedude17

"Sister, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Celestia turned to her sister, and motioned to speak. Luna nodded and began to speak.

"Sister, I do not believe we should even let him go freely in the castle itself, let alone Equestria."

"You're overreacting."

"I am not! This Trevor threatened violence against everypony he has met so far..."

"And has he made good on his threats?"

Luna tried to retort, but found herself speechless.

"Exactly. Unless he harms one of our fellow subjects, he shall be free to move around as he pleases."

"This is a terrible idea, Tia, and I know, deep down, that you know it too."

Celestia found her face to be conflicted. Deep down, she knew that this Trevor Phillips would be dangerous, but she couldn't just treat him like a mindless creature.

"He will be free to go about his business, in the meantime, we shall examine the objects that had recently appeared out of nowhere." Celestia and Luna soon found themselves looking at a mysterious carriage and various objects within the open trunk of it.

I did not know how long I slept, all I knew was that there was a distinct smell... of food. My stomach rumbled, and it was apparent that I hadn't eaten in a long time, which might be a bit of an understatement.

I got up and walked towards the smell, to see a mess hall, filled with dinnerstuffs. Mostly salads and vegetarian meals.

I was a meat-lover, but in this situation, I'd rather eat a salad then deal with starving, so I took the most appetizing salad I saw and grabbed some with my hand.

"Mr. Phillips, please don't..."

"Don't care, hungry." I groaned out angrily. I sat down and began to chow down, not caring about how I looked doing it.

"So, Trevor..." I heard Celestia speak.

"What?"

"Tell me, what did you do back at home."

Deciding to keep my cover, I grinned and turned towards Sunbutt.

"Well, I am the CEO and personal runner of Trevor Phillips Industries, INC."

"A company named after yourself? I never would've guessed." Celestia said with a hint of feigned surprise.

"Yep. In Blaine County, I run the dope and gun trade, and if the competition wants to screw with me..." I made a finger gun firing motion, just to set a tone for what business Trevor really meant.

I could tell that those ponies were afraid of me. I'd be too.

"Alright... So... How about we talk about the conditions to let you go on your own way."

I perked up. "I'm listening."

"So, from what we've learned about you, you seem..."

"Violent? Because Let's be honest, would you trust a face like mine?" I said, showing off my meth-scarred, bad-breathed, and generally disgusting face.

"... Not really."

"Which is why I do not expect to get off scot-free."

"You were never charged with a crime to begin with, we have no basis to do that!"

I suddenly stood up, and knocked over my meal.

"Damn right, you fucking don't, and no one can, because I am Trevor Phillips, and no fucking asshole is getting between me and the money that I rightfully deserve! Do you understand?" I said, poking Celestia on her chest, or whatever it was called here.

"...I-"

"You know what, fuck you! I'm getting out of here, and no cunt is fucking telling me what to fucking do!" I pushed Celestia to the side and angrily walked towards the exit, but was stopped by the guards.

"Halt, you shall not pass for what you-"

The Trevor inside of me decided that this was pointless, and I headbutted him. More guards came.

"You are under arrest for unprovoked assault!"

I blew air, and chuckled.

"Oh, really? Fine then, come at me bro."

The guards stood still.

"COME RIGHT FUCKING AT ME!"

"ENOUGH!!! Trevor, meet me in my room, in private. Guards, lead him there!"

I knew that if she wanted me alone, then she wanted to say something serious to me.

Considering what I just said...

Celestia trotted to her own room, annoyed at Trevor's attitude.

Hateful, rude, anti-authority... He's one of a kind, one that might be a threat if mishandled. I must proceed with caution, see if I can find a way to help him. Mother help me.

She went into her own room, and a few minutes later, the man came in, scowling.

"Trevor, I wanted to know a few things before I let you go."

"What?" Trevor replied as if he was more annoyed at Celestia than disappointed with himself.

"I need to know, how did you come here?"

"I... I remember being blown up back in Los Santos... Tanker blew up and I went flying. Guess I was lucky to come here... if I died... that..." Trevor looked thoughtful for a moment. "...Would suck." The tone Trevor finished that sentence implied that it was a threat to Celestia. She heard these a million times over. She knew she had to push the right buttons, avoid the rest, and tread carefully.

"Mr. Phillips, I am sorry for you..."

"Oh, keep your pity to yourself, Sunass."

Celestia raise her eyebrows, but kept a calm exterior.

"...But regardless, I'll look into helping you back home to Los Santos."

"You better, because I don't have much time." Trevor was now face to face with the princess. The reddened eyes pierced into Celestia's own soul, it's as if he was judging her for whatever reason he might have.

Celestia sighed.

"You may leave, take your truck with you. If I heard that you hurt any one of my subjects, even on accident, I will not hesitate to track you down. Understand?"

Trevor looked confused.

"Wait, you're letting me do whatever?"

"No crimes, Trevor, you are being left to your own devices. Do not push me." Celestia warned sternly.

Trevor looked at her...

And then laughed the most grating laugh she had ever heard.

"You know what, I think you might be one of the more relaxed authority figures I ever met. Even the LSPD went that relaxed. They are usually like 'Dammit Trevor, not again. Are you trying to be an asshole at every possible moment?' and I'm like, 'Said the guys who put me in the hospital about, oh, I dunno, 13 fucking times, ya cunts.' and then I'd leave... I'll be seeing ya, fucktard." Trevor kicked open the doors and left, leaving a confused Celestia.

"What."

To be honest, I was surprised at how she just let me go...

But the fact that she left me to be Trevor himself, alone...

What a fucking moron.

The hell... Ugh, I'm thinking things now.