For Nick
Who invariably gives me nothing but positivity, every day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
35 days before
I burst into the hospital room, my eyes wide and my face covered in sweat. The unicorn doctor and Pinkie Pie turn their heads, surprised. Pinkie's lying in a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown. It might just be me, but she looks more tired than usual.
"Who let you in?" says the doctor, somewhat shocked but trying keeping a calm expression. I barely notice him.
"Pinkie Pie!" I say, maybe a little louder than I need to. "I heard. Are you okay?"
Pinkie Pie nods, smiling. "I'm alright, Dashie. The doctor was just finished giving me his diagnosisisisis." She turns to look at him. "Pretty neat timing, huh?"
The doctor recovers and gets his formal tone back. He says, "You can stay, Rainbow Dash, but you have to remain quiet and respectful. We promised Pinkie she could rest without being disturbed."
"Oh, Rainbow Dash isn't a disturbance, she's my friend!" said Pinkie. I sit down and do my best to calm down.
The doctor turns to me. "You should know that Pinkie Pie has a serious illness that was the cause of the stroke. We'll need to keep her here a while for treatment. I'll leave you two alone," he says, walking out.
I walk up to Pinkie's bedside, and we give each other a hug. "I'm so glad that you're okay," I say.
We pull out of the hug, but I still hold her hoof tightly, like I'm worried what might happen if I let it go. Pinkie keeps her smile on. "I'm glad I'm okay too. Having a stroke isn't very fun. Thanks for coming, I hope you weren't busy with anything."
I'm actually supposed to be clearing the sky right now, but in light of the emergency, Thunderlane agreed to cover for me. I smile back at her.
"Are you kidding?" I say. "If anypony I care about needs me, I'm right there."
We stay like that for a while. We talk about little things, like what I've been up to today and Pinkie's plans that had to be cancelled because of what happened, but our being here with each other is the important thing. Pinkie's being not just being comforted, she's comforting me, too. When Ditzy Doo told me Pinkie Pie had had a stroke and she was in the hospital, I was scared. More scared than I've ever been of anything before. The idea that Pinkie was in serious trouble and I couldn't do anything about it was almost too much for me to take. Almost.
The door opens behind me, and I turn to see the rest of our friends coming in with worried expressions. They relax a little when they see Pinkie with her usual grin.
"We came here as soon as we could, Pinkie Pie!" says Twilight. "Are you okay?"
Pinkie nods. "I'm fine, everypony. I'm feeling a lot better now, but the doctor said that I shouldn't do any walking until they know it's okay." The way she looks at her friends is enough to cheer up anyone. I feel like we all need that right now. It's a strange situation, but as long as Pinkie feels okay, we can treat it like any other hangout.
"What did the doctor say happened?" Rarity asks.
Pinkie explains everything she knows, and I'm surprised at how much medical jargon she remembers. I think she's quoting him word-for-word. As talks, it's like the room gets progressively darker. The bits I can understand don't sound good, and the way Twilight's expression changes, I can tell that it's serious. Twilight's having trouble making eye contact, looking at the ground constantly. Pinkie finishes, and we all sit in silence for some time.
I turn to Twilight, feeling embarrassed. "Can you explain what that means, in a way I can understand?"
Twilight doesn't look at me, but she replies. "Pinkie's condition has to do with a lung infection. It's uncommon, there are only a handful of cases in ponies each year. There's no sure-fire cure, and three times out of ten it can be..." her voice shakes a bit. "...fatal."
It's a good thing I'm sitting down, because if I weren't those words would have knocked me over. Pinkie Pie has a potentially fatal disease. It gave her a stroke today. She can die soon. These thoughts run through my head and I can't stop them, I can't hold back the feelings they're bringing. I'm afraid, I'm terrified, and I can't believe any of this. I barely register that there's conversation going on until Pinkie taps my shoulder.
"Rainbow Dash?" she says. "Are you okay?" I'm suddenly aware of everypony else again. They're all staring at me. I can feel myself blushing.
"Uh, what?" I say, glancing at them in turn. Applejack gives me a reassuring look.
"Rainbow, try not to worry too much. I've seen Pinkie pull off all sorts of crazy things, and I'm sure she'll be able to bat this thing down like it's nothing. Right, everypony?" Everyone in the room cheers and says something positive, and I can smile again. Of course Pinkie's gonna be okay. She's always okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
30 days before
I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I've been in bed for an hour, but it's like my body and my mind disagree on whether I should be awake. I usually drift off easily, but It's been getting harder every night since Pinkie was hospitalized. I'd hoped she might get out by now, but there's no such luck. The doctor's diagnosis and Twilight's affirmation were right, and her life is currently at risk. I stop by to see her every day, at least for a little while, usually for about an hour.
At one point, she said it hurt. I asked her what hurt, and she motioned across a wide part of her chest. I asked her how bad it hurt, and she said:
"It's really bad, Dashie. Worse than most pain I've felt before. But you and the girls coming in so often for my sake makes it easier to bear. Thank you so much."
It's almost funny. When I think about her circumstance right now, it makes me scared, nervous, and sad. But when I think of her as a pony, and think about anything she says, it makes me feel so good inside. I remember how it feels to be near her and it's like just remembering gives me a little hint of that amazing feeling. I'm calm thinking of who she is. I love who she is.
I can sleep now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
28 days before
"You ready, Rainbow Dash?"
I nod at Cloud Kicker, and we get started on kicking the clouds. Some rogue Everfree clouds came over the fields just outside Ponyville today and we were sent to deal with the problem. We both fly left and right, swiftly bucking each gray cloud that would threaten to rain on today's sunny parade. This is pretty fun, and it's something for me to focus on. I get worked up when I don't have anything to do. That's when I start thinking, and lately my thoughts aren't very nice things to have.
Focus, Rainbow Dash.
We're almost done. I have an agreement with the rest of the weather ponies that whenever we're clearing the skies, I always get to destroy the last cloud, and do a cool trick at the same time. As soon as Cloud Kicker gets the second to last one, I go into my maneuver. I start pulling up into a loop. I'll reach my peak right above the cloud, then start spinning as I mirror my upward path going down towards—
"Hey, Dashie!"
As the voice of my marefriend hits my ears, I feel three things: curiosity, pure excitement, and a dangerous loss of control. I bail out of the maneuver and readjust my flight path so as to not break my face when I make the now-neccessary landing. I brace for impact, and... slide across the ground, stopping unharmed. Nice. There's a reason I'm the best. Now, I need to talk to somepony. I signal Cloud Kicker to get the cloud, then turn to face the pony that nearly got me another two weeks with a cast.
"Pinkie Pie!" I exclaim. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be getting treatment for your disease."
Pinkie's wearing her normal happy, energetic grin that I haven't seen since she had her stroke. It seems like she's back to normal. She makes her smile even wider as she walks up to me.
"The doctors said I was free to go! They said I still have to keep track of my activities and eating, and keep them in a certain range, and a bunch of other stuff, but unless something else serious happens, I'm finally out of that old bed. I feel a lot better, too!" She puts a hoof on her chest, where her lungs are. "I can't jump or run as much anymore, and I have to stick to a lower calorie diet until they're sure it's completely gone, but I can go back to my job at Sugarcube Corner, sleep in my own bed, and visit my friends when I want again!"
"I'm happy for you, Pinkie Pie," I say.
I'm happy for myself, too. I've been so worried about her. It's like I've been carrying something heavy for a long time, and now I can finally put it down. I feel elated to have her back with me. I guess it's not like she was really gone. She just wasn't at her best. She still isn't, really. I have to remind myself that she's not completely through with this yet. Having her here, though, able to walk with me after so long, is the best thing in the world.
My stomach rumbles, and Pinkie sticks out her hoof. "Do you want to go get something to eat?" she says. "It's almost one o' clock."
I turn around and see that Cloud Kicker is gone. She must have gone back into town. I take Pinkie's hoof in mine. "Yeah, that sounds great." We go off to have a nice, relaxing afternoon together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23 days before
"You know, you really should be more careful."
I don't know where I am or what's going on. Everything is dark, and my future is uncertain, all because of this crazy pony. I'm starting to regret letting her get so close to me, but it's too late now. I have to be brave.
"Pinkie, the reason I keep bumping into things is because you put this blindfold on me!" She holds my hoof to guide me, but I keep running into trees or bushes or stepping on rocks. I'm not really getting hurt, but this could be easily avoided if she didn't insist that—
"It has to be a surprise! If you didn't have this blindfold I let you borrow, it would completely spoil it."
"Let me borrow? Pinkie, you popped out of a bush, said, 'here, put this on!' and then, without letting me say anything, blindfolded and kidnapped me."
"You know, if you didn't like it, you could have just taken the blindfold off."
Fair enough.
"We're here!" She removes my blindfold, and my eyes take a second to adjust. When I can see again, my mouth drops open. We're in a small clearing outside of the woods. There is absolutely nothing noteworthy about this place whatsoever, except the small hill with a steep drop that's too short to be called a cliff but too tall to be a mound. The grass is a normal shade of green, there are as many living things here as anywhere else, and there's no amazing sight to be seen right now. Yet this is one of the greatest places in Equestria.
"It's this place! The clearing!" I say. "I can't believe you found it!" Pinkie grins, and I can tell she's resisting the urge to jump around me in a circle.
"I know! I can't believe I found it either! But I had to find something to do, and everypony was busy today, and since most of my in-town alone pastimes involve some kind of acrobatics, I decided to try taking a hike! And it's the most amazing thing, because I followed the trail and took a few random lefts and rights and suddenly I was standing right..." She moves to a certain spot near the entrance of the clearing. "... here! You remember why this place is so special, right?"
I roll my eyes. "Of course I remember, Pinkie Pie..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
286 days before
What a day! It's late in the afternoon, and I've been working really hard. I'm just gonna rest on this cloud here and get a well-deserved break from being awesome while moving, and just be awesome sitting still. Every time you go to rest on a cloud, it's like a nice surprise, because you never remember just how good it feels. You can just lay down, let your eyes shut, really relax, maybe take a nice, long—
"Hey, Dashie!"
She startles me so much she makes me literally jump off of my cloud. My wings start flapping automatically so that I can hover effortlessly. Turning around, I see that my perfect cloud has been destroyed, and the bouncy pink spot responsible is on the ground in the clearing below me. What's Pinkie Pie doing out here? I picked this spot randomly and it seems like the perfect place to get some alone time. Oh, well. I might as well see what she wants. I fly down and land next to her.
"Pinkie, you startled me! What do you want?" I think I'm a little too harsh, because her smile quickly becomes more shaky and less happy.
"I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something," she says. Is that sweat? Why is she so nervous?
"What is it?" My voice comes out concerned. I guess I am concerned. After all, I care about Pinkie more than I'd like to admit, and probably more than is good for me. She looks down and stamps the ground a couple of times with her hoof, while I stare at her expectantly. Is she being... shy? Pinkie Pie has done some surprising things in the time I've known her, but being shy is the most surprising thing I've seen her do. She's never been afraid to speak her mind. What could she possibly be unwilling to tell me?
"Rainbow Dash, will you go out with me?"
"YES!" Oh, shoot, did I say that out loud? Quick, cover it up, play it off. "I mean, uh, I might want to. Why do you ask?" Great, now I sound like a jerk.
Pinkie Pie seems more comfortable now that she's heard my thoughts. "Because I like you, Dashie! I mean, I like every pony, but I like you In a more special way. So I was thinking we could get something to eat, and maybe talk about things, but do it in a romantic way, like in all those dreams Rarity tells us she has."
Celestia help me if I live one of Rarity's dreams. Right now, I'm busy with one of mine. It's time for the part where I say something really cool and accept her invitation.
"Yeah, sure, that sounds fun." I guess that could have gone worse.
"Yay! Thanks, Dashie!" She wraps her front hooves around me in a hug. I notice it's different from the hugs she normally gives me. This one's softer, gentler, like I'm fragile and she's worried she might break me. After a second I decide to return the hug. When we're done, Pinkie scratches the back of her neck. Suddenly, she points to the western horizon.
"Oh look, the sun is setting! Can we go watch from the top of that hill?"
"Sure, I guess."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23 days before
"...After the sun had set, we both realized that neither of us knew the way back, and so we had to find the way back to town with a LOT of trial and error."
We've been sitting together for a while, retelling the story of how we first started dating. We never did find this place again, and in retrospect, we're lucky we found our way back to town so quickly. I could have gotten back easily, but Pinkie can't fly, and she doesn't have x-ray vision. I had to stick with her on the ground, but I occasionally flew up and got my sense of direction again. After we got home, we never found our way back to the clearing. Until now, that is.
We each tell how we remember it happening, and then we the conversation goes into other things. We talk about other memories, usually leading in with something like, "Oh, that reminds me of that one time when Applejack swallowed that beehive!" or "Oh, that's a bit like when Apple Bloom replaced all of my flour with sugar!" Our conversation goes on for some time as we remember bits of the past that were fun, cute, or epic. In what feels like a few minutes, I notice that the sky is starting to change colors.
"Man, the sun's going down already. How long have we been out here?"
"Two and a half hours," says Pinkie, looking at her hoof. I didn't know she wore a watch. Wait, she really doesn't have a watch. Her guess seems right to me, though.
"Do you think we should head back?" I ask.
"Can we stay and watch the sunset? I haven't seen one in forever." Pinkie gives me a look a lot like the one Scootaloo puts on when she wants me to take her somewhere, one that's adoring and a little too flattering. It's also one that I can never turn down.
"There's nothing I'd like more," I say.
We venture up to the top of the hill. From our fine vantage we have a wondrous view before us. The treetops are illuminated in the orange rays of the setting twilight sun, whose glow grows more brilliant as time wears on. But neither it, nor the trees, nor the sky and its colors are the most beautiful part of this joyous moment. The true radiance of this instance comes from the excellent mare who rests beside me, and whose form I cannot resist wrapping my wing around, as she does the same with her voluptuous hoof.
I need to stop reading those poetry books Twilight keeps sending me.
Truly, this feels awesome. Neither of us needs to even say anything, we just sit and watch the sun move slowly down the horizon. Glancing from the scene to Pinkie's face, I see that she's enjoying herself. She must like sunsets. I suppose that makes sense. After all, she has a thing for multicolored spectacles.
I find myself thinking of every great thing she's ever done for me, for everypony. Every party she's thrown, every friend she's made, every smile she's put on every face. Her illness did a lot of things to me emotionally, but especially it reminded me how important Pinkie is to me, and how much I care about her. She deserves to be shown just how much everyone cares about her the way she cares about everyone else.
That's it! I'm going to get everypony together and plan a party for Pinkie Pie. We're all going to get together and return her the favor for being so amazing. Plans are already forming in my head as I assign roles and decide the times of events. No wonder Pinkie loves planning parties so much, it's really exciting. The anticipation of every moment of fun, from the surprise to the cake to the games, and most importantly, the look on the face of a pony I love.
The sun finally disappears over the horizon, and I focus again on Pinkie, who's still looking at where the sun just was.
"Well," I say, "I guess we should head back."
We start down the hill toward the entrance and walk down the path, with Pinkie leading the way. When we come to a fork in the road, she suddenly stops, and I see a blank look on her face.
I say, "You do remember the way back, right?"
Pinkie's silence is the only answer I need. I sigh.
This is gonna be a long night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19 days before
Waiting is the worst. Sitting still and anticipating something is a lot less interesting than something actually happening. But in this case, I can manage. This is gonna be nothing short of the greatest day of Pinkie's life. Oh, here she comes. I planned exactly how I'm going to do this. I'm here in the bush, and she's walking on the street that goes right next to me. She's getting closer... now!
"Here, put this on!" I pull out the blindfold she put on me four days ago and wrap it around her head before she has time to react. She now can't see anything, perfect. After a second, she realizes what's happening and laughs. It's that adorable, high pitched laugh. I freaking love her laugh.
"Rainbow Dash, what's going on?"
"Role reversal! Come on, this way!" I take her hoof and drag her, and unlike some ponies who do this kind of thing, I'm careful to make sure she doesn't run into anything. Our destination is Twilight's Library. When we get there, It will be awesome.
"What's the big surprise that you need me to be blindfolded for?" she asks.
"If I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise, silly!" I say. I could definitely have fun mimicking her attitude like this.
"Fair enough. But it'll have to be a super big surprise to top mine! Whoa, slow down, slow down."
I do as she says and turn to look at her. She's breathing heavily. We have been half-running to where we're going, but I'm still a little surprised. Pinkie almost never gets tired.
"Are you okay, Pinkie?" She nods.
"I'm fine, I just needed a moment. Really, I'm okay."
We continue moving, this time at a walking pace. Before long, we're on Twilight's front doorstep. I open the door slowly and guide Pinkie in. I get the sense she knows what's coming next. We walk into the library, which has been redecorated for the occasion. Food and drinks are out, and our best friends and good acquaintances are all here. I slowly undo Pinkie's blindfold, and as it comes off...
"SURPRISE!" Nearly everyone in Ponyville is here. The other four Elements, the Cakes, the Crusaders, the extras. They're all here for Pinkie, and I can see the gratitude all over Pinkie's face. She turns to me, clearly struggling to keep herself from screaming with joy. This is the face I wanted to see, and it's all the reward I could ask for.
"Rainbow Dash, thank you so much! This is so nice of you! You didn't have to throw me a party!"
"Maybe I didn't have to, but I really wanted to. You're special to me, to all of us. I wanted to find a cool way to say 'thanks'. Did I do a good job?"
She gives me a hug. "A great one, Dashie." She releases, and I think she just wants to keep cuddling with me, but I don't like doing it when there are other ponies watching.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" I say. "Ponies are here to talk to you, games are here to be played, food is here to be eaten. Get started!"
She nods and goes to talk to some of our friends while I go and take a break from all this intense romantic nonsense. I go to sit by a bookshelf and watch as Pinkie starts to take control of her party. Music starts playing, and she gets to the middle of the floor and starts dancing. Soon, other ponies join in with her, and before we know it everypony is dancing together. When Pinkie's satisfied with the amount of reserved boogying she's done, she walks off the makeshift dance floor, but everypony else continues. I see ponies laughing and having fun together that would never have spoken to each other elsewhere. This is one of the best things Pinkie does. She brings ponies together.
How lucky I am that she brought me together with her.
Hours pass, and as evening comes ponies start to leave. I get compliments from everyone on what a great job I did on the party. They say things like:
"Awesome party, Rainbow Dash!"
"I feel like I could keep going all night!"
"It was almost as good as one thrown by Pinkie!"
I feel like I don't deserve words like this. After all, I'm not the one who made the party fun. I just set the groundwork for the fun to happen. The life of the party, as usual, was Pinkie Pie. The one who runs around so full of energy and smiles all the time. The one who makes everypony happier just by being around.
Soon, all that's left is me, the other girls, and Spike. We start to clean up the mess that's been made, and between the seven of us, it doesn't take long. When we're done, we say good night to each other and start heading to our own houses. I offer to escort Pinkie home, and she accepts. We start towards Sugarcube Corner, which is a few blocks away. We walk for a couple minutes before she says something.
"That was awesome, Dashie!" says Pinkie. I can see her usual smile in the moonlight.
"I wasn't the only one that made it awesome. You were— Pinkie?" She's not walking next to me anymore. I turn to see her standing still, looking straight ahead. Without warning, she collapses to the ground, struggling to breathe. She moves her legs, trying to stand, but she fails. I can only look on and watch as each of her limbs goes limp and she closes her eyes, with a tear running down her face. She lies there, unmoving, and for a second I stand still as well, like I've been paralyzed. Then I gain my senses and an understanding of what just happened.
Before anything else, I feel a twinge of annoyance that we have to go through this again.
"Pinkie Pie!" I shout. She doesn't do anything in response. She must be unconscious. Or... unconscious. I look around. The street is empty, save for us. No carts or anything I could use to move her. I'm gonna have to do this the hard way. I lift her onto my back, and immediately get the overwhelming feeling that I can't do this. Ponies are heavy, and while I'm strong, I just wasn't built for this.
I have to try.
Once I'm sure she's secure, I move forward. Pinkie's weight is making each step an individual challenge. I've been to Ponyville Hospital enough times to know where it is. Once I'm confident I can walk like this, I start to run. Occasionally I hear her take a gasping breath and make a slight movement, but she's not waking up. I'm almost there. turning a corner, I can see the hospital. I go from a run to a sprint, and before I know it, we're in the emergency lobby. There's one pony sitting in a waiting chair and another sitting at a desk, wearing a nurse's hat. I do the first thing that comes to mind.
"HELP!"
In retrospect, that would have been a good thing to shout a few minutes ago.
The nurse calls for some others, and soon the hospital staff has takes Pinkie into the Operating Room. Once they're in control of the situation, I allow the world to fade to black.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18 days before
The familiar smell of the hospital is the first thing I notice as I wake up. The second thing I notice is that I'm in a hospital bed. The third thing I notice is that Pinkie is sleeping in a hospital bed next to me, and suddenly I'm fully awake. She's breathing normally again, and her expression is peaceful instead of painful. As is habit for me when I end up in situations like this, I check all the parts of my body. I can feel everything as normal, and my back and legs hurt only a little. It's not important.
The door opens, and the doctor I remember from last time notices me.
"Ah, Miss Dash. You're awake." I start to ask a question, but he cuts me off.
"You passed out shortly after you arrived. Pinkie Pie was in critical condition, and the operation took sixty-four minutes, but she's better for now. You did a good job bringing her here, Rainbow Dash. Thanks to your ability to take action, Pinkie's life was saved. She will need to stay for longer, as we were able to confirm that her illness is still present and was the cause of this incident. You will be free to go as soon as you're ready. Any questions?" It takes me a moment to come up with one.
"I'm not sick or hurt. Why did I stay the night here?" He chuckles.
"As a general rule, when you become unconscious in a hospital, you wake up still in the hospital. There was no place to send you and no reason send you anywhere, as we had plenty of extra beds."
"How bad is she?"
"You mean Pinkie Pie?" His face becomes serious. "Worse than we initially thought, but not a lost cause by any stretch of the imagination." Not a lost cause, he said. Like it could even be considered for her to be at risk of... permanent unconsciousness.
"One more question, doctor. Where's the bathroom?"
"Out in the hall, three doors to the left on the opposite side."
I make my way out of the room and walk carefully to the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I position my face above the toilet, hold the rim with two hooves and let the contents of last night's party violently pour into the water. When that's out of my system, I wash myself a bit and head back into the room, where the doctor is waiting patiently.
"All done?" he asks. I nod.
"Well, then," he says, "You can go whenever you like."
I look at Pinkie, still sleeping in her bed. "Can I have just a moment?"
"Of course." He gets up and starts to leave.
"By the way," I say, "I never learned your name."
"Call me Doc," he says, then leaves. That's nice and easy to remember.
I walk over and sit down next to Pinkie Pie. It's interesting watching her sleep. Her chest rises and falls slowly, gently. It's like she's not a bouncy hyperactive bundle of pure joy, she's just a happy lethargic filly that's napping after a long day of play. I wonder if I look this adorable when I'm sleeping. Nah, nopony can be as adorable as Pinkie Pie. It's just not possible.
I could stay like this forever, just watching her silently, but soon she stirs. She opens her eyes slowly, and I'm the first thing she notices.
"Rainbow Dash," she says, with enough weakness to make me feel sick again. "What happened?" I try to put on the most reassuring look possible as I answer.
"You had a little bit of a problem with, uh, walking. So I got you to the hospital and the doctors took care of you. We both stayed the night, and here we are."
"Am I gonna have to stay here again?"
Keep it together, Dash. "Yeah, you are."
The look of sadness on her face is the most heart wrenching thing I've ever seen. I know she hates being in this place. I always hate it too. The sense of not being able to go anywhere you want, having ponies baby you all hours of the day. Frankly, it sucks. I don't know what I can do about it, though. Pinkie needs all this medical attention. I can only find ways to make it more bearable for her.
Unless...
"I mean, we are," I say.
"Huh?"
I feel myself smirking confidently. This is an absolutely foolproof plan! Pinkie doesn't have to be depressed and stuck here all alone. I can see to it.
"I won't leave here until you're able to come out with me."
Pinkie brightens up, but she looks concerned. "That's great, but don't you have a bunch of other stuff you need to do? Spending time with friends, flight practice, a job?"
"Pshh. I'm so efficient, I've worked up, like, a month of vacation time. It may not be paid vacation, but it's excused time off. And it's not like I'm gonna lose all of my touch if I stop practicing for a month. I might be a bit rusty, but it's no big deal. As for our friends, I care about all of them a lot. But right now, I care about you more than anypony else. If our friends have time and want to talk to me, they can come and talk to you, too. You're the best friend I have, and you deserve that title."
Pinkie does the only thing she can do after hearing something like that. It's the only thing she needs to do. She gives me a hug.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
17 days before
Doc said I could stay, but he seemed a little peeved.
"It's a big hospital, a small town, and we aren't very busy. You can use that bed as long as she's still here, but you're responsible for your own food. I understand your circumstance and am willing to let you do what you want. However, when I say we need Pinkie to rest and be alone, she will rest and be alone, no exceptions. Understand?"
I understood.
I leave the hospital to go get meals, but aside from that, I stay with Pinkie. We talk about whatever comes to mind. We try not to talk or think about sickness and mortality, we just keep it casual and lighthearted. She appreciates me being here, I can tell.
Twilight, Rarity, AJ and Fluttershy each came in at different times today. It was the same ordeal with each of them.
"Pinkie, I was so worried..."
"...It's good to see that you're well..."
"...I know it don't look so good right now..."
"...But I'm sure you'll be better in no time!"
They each stayed for about an hour, and with every minute they were here, I could tell Pinkie was getting better and better. Emotionally, at least.
Pinkie never stays hurt emotionally for long.
Author's Note
This is part 1 of Coping Colors, "Neon Pink". I understand it's my first story on the site, so don't be afraid to really drill into it and show me my shortcomings.
For any statisticians: If you need to measure the view count for this story for any reason, subtract sixty-six, because that's how many times I looked at it before publishing it.
It will be a recurring theme that the nature of Pinkie's illness is never very well explained or defined. I didn't want to explicitly make it "cancer", or "diabetes", or anything like that, as I felt it might take away from the story by giving a name to the antagonistic force of the first half. Really, it's me copping out because I don't understand any fatal illnesses.
Maybe I shouldn't have put over ten thousand words into a story filled with something I don't understand :/
Happy reading,
-Fleeting Song
P.S. For this story, if you have anything to say to discuss with me as the author, simply direct your comment to me and I shall dutifully reply.
15 days before
When Pinkie is asleep and I'm still awake, I realize just how amazingly boring this place is. It looks boring, it smells boring. It's like time passes slower when nothing is happening to speed it up.
This morning it's taking Pinkie longer than usual to wake up. At about 10:30 A.M. I start to get anxious. Pinkie's always been a morning pony. She's been an evening and afternoon pony, too. She just doesn't sleep much. I look at her resting on her bed, still fast asleep. I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't stand to wait any longer. I poke her with my hoof.
She doesn't wake up.
I speak quietly into her ear. "Good morning, Pinkie Pie." She doesn't move. I guess I just have to wait a little longer for her. I head out to get an early lunch.
I come back at noon and she's still sleeping. She went to bed at nine last night, there's no reason for her to not be wide awake by now. I look and see the meal a nurse must have brought in has gone untouched. Something's wrong.
With a pulling feeling in my stomach and panic swelling in my head, I run to get Doc. In a couple minutes, I find him on his own lunch break. I tell him about my concerns, while keeping calm and collected.
"Doc! Pinkie Pie! Not waking up! Problem!"
He seems to understand. Quickly, he gets up and starts on the way to Pinkie's room, and I follow, neither of us saying anything. When we get back to Pinkie Pie's room, she's just as I left her. Asleep. The only movement she makes is the slow rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. The look of contentment and peace on her face, which was so interesting a couple days ago, now feels disturbing. It doesn't belong in this place, on this pony. Doc gets some medical tools and runs his doctor analysis on Pinkie. Every second that passes with him standing over her and using some instrument I don't entirely understand makes me more anxious.
I wonder if this is it. I wonder if this is going to be the day that Pinkie... dies. I have to accept that word now. Pinkie Pie could die. Pinkie Pie could actually die. With that thought, I feel myself now starting to hold back tears. I never cry, ever, but this situation is enough to make me come close. I need to get a hold of myself, calm down. First, I need to find a good reason to calm down. Think, Dash. Pinkie could die, but she's not dead yet. She may be very close, but she's not dead yet. That means there's hope that she can end up not dying. Don't cry over possibilities.
Doc finishes his examination and looks back at me. His face is a mask, hiding whatever emotion he has right now. That's not a good sign.
"Wait here, and stay calm." I can do at least half of that. He leaves and returns a minute later with two nurses.
"Rainbow Dash," Doc says, "We're going to do what we can to get a full diagnosis of Pinkie Pie. While this is going on, we need you to wait outside."
I want to protest, but decide that I don't really want to be in the room where they figure out whether my best friend is ever going to be awake again. I walk out and wait.
Waiting is the worst.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14 days before
4 P.M. Pinkie's been out for the past 43 hours, which have been the worst of my life.
Doc told me that Pinkie's in some kind of coma. They wired her up to a machine to monitor her heart rate, stuck some tubes in her to feed her, and have a nurse check in every hour. That's not really needed, because I'm now here every minute. I'm hurting so much, and the only way to relieve the pain is to stay here and watch Pinkie Pie. Seeing her shallow but present breathing, hearing the constant beeping that tells me her heart is still working, that's all that keeps me from breaking down. It's now my food being brought by a nurse instead of Pinkie's. I'll remember to pay for all of it when this is over, one way or another.
The girls showed up today, this time for my sake more than Pinkie's. They shared their condolences and gave me their own sadness and worry. I wonder if it makes me selfish that I don't care as much about how they're handling it as I care about my own feelings. They definitely cared about me, though. Hugs, tears (all theirs) and sappy words were exchanged, and it made me feel just a little better. I'd started to think nothing could make me feel better. If Pinkie's my best friend, the other four are tied in a close second. Not many ponies care about me like they do.
Nurse pokes her head in. "Rainbow Dash," she says, "there's someone here to see you."
"Tell them to come in, then," I say.
"That may not be a good idea."
"Why?" I get up to walk out the door, first taking a look back at Pinkie, as if I need to make sure she'll be okay while I'm gone. I step out into the hallway. As soon as I get out the door, I'm greeted by the most excited little orange ball of pony in existence. Scootaloo.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" she says. "What's up?"
I blink. I like Scootaloo, I really do, but I don't think I'm up for this right now.
"Sorry I'm late, but you weren't usually where I find you so I had to ask some ponies where you were and they said you were at the hospital and I—" is all she manages to say before I interrupt her.
"Scoots, what are you doing here?"
"It's Thursday, don't you remember?"
Oh. I facehoof. Now I understand. Every Thursday, Sweetie Belle has singing lessons after school and Apple Bloom has extra chores, so I promised that on those days she could hang out with me. Today, things will have to go a little differently.
"Scootaloo, I know you were looking forward to hanging out today, but I kind of have to stay here." Her expressions sags a little, but she still looks optimistic.
"That's okay, I can just stay here with you!"
I'm about to tell her she can't, but I keep looking at her face. Those eyes, looking at me like I'm the best thing in the world, a treasure. Even looking at that treasure is an amazing experience, but to have it with you and be yours even when you walk away from it is empowering. I've only gotten that look from one other pony, and thinking about it gives me literal heartache. I give in.
"Sure Scootaloo, you can stay with me a little while."
"Awesome!" She makes to enter the door I came out of, but I stop her. The nurse was right, it wouldn't be a good idea to let Scootaloo's impressionable young mind see Pinkie Pie in the state she's in.
Ugh, I sound like my mother.
"How about we stay out here in the hall? It's cramped and hot in there, but this hallway's got a lot of space in it. We could just lay down out here!"
"Okay?" Scootaloo raises an eyebrow at me, but moves away from the door and sits down in front of the wall. I sit next to her, and we're quiet for a minute.
"Rainbow Dash, why are you stuck here in the hospital? Are you hurt?" I shake my head.
"Do you see any bandages?"
"Are you sick?" she asks. I smile as I get the feeling this guessing game might last a while.
"Nope. If I were sick, there's no way I'd let you get close to me and get you sick too."
"Is someone else sick?"
My smile falls off my face. That was pretty quick. I scratch the back of my neck.
"Yeah. Someone else is sick."
"Who is it?"
"Pinkie Pie." Her eyes get a little wider, like she's had a realization.
"Oh, I heard about that. Is she okay?"
"I don't know." The words slip out before I can catch them. I shouldn't have said that. Scootaloo looks shocked.
"You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?" No turning back now, might as well let her in on what's happening.
"Pinkie's had a big sickness with some really bad symptoms, mainly the two strokes she's had. A couple days ago she fell asleep and hasn't waken up since. The doctor thinks she might be in a coma. So, I don't know whether she's going to be okay."
Scootaloo is still for a moment. She doesn't say anything, and her face doesn't change from a simple stare with a frown. She turns her head away and looks at the ground. I do the same and just focus on the texture of the floor. We sit quietly like that for a few minutes. Eventually, I decide to break the silence.
"You okay, Scootaloo?"
"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I wasn't expecting to hear something like this today, you know?" I nod. I take a deep breath in, and then out. Maybe this will be good for me.
"Let me tell you something," I say. Scootaloo turns and gives me her attention.
"What is it, Dash?"
"I'm really scared right now, Scoots. Scared out of my mind. Pinkie's super important to me, and I don't know what I'll do if she goes away. I try to remind myself that it's not completely hopeless, but every minute that passes makes me more sure that she won't make it."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Usually when you say something like that, you follow it up, turn it into something positive. It becomes motivational and encouraging."
"Not this time, kiddo. I don't feel motivated or encouraged right now."
I hear something make a tiny plop. I look down, and notice that a tear got out of my eye, made its way down my face, and hit the floor. I try to come up with something to say, anything to make Scootaloo's idol still seem like the invincible, pure force she always thought it was. Before I can, she wraps her forelegs around me in a hug. I close my eyes and return it.
Scootaloo's visit has made me feel much better. Not completely better, not nearly. At this point, though, I'll take what I can get.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten days before
Pinkie is getting paler. She looks less and less like the pony who bounces around and throws parties, and more like a pony who never stands up. My legs have started to ache. I've been in this hospital for over a week now, and haven't left much. Doc recommended that I go out and run, fly, or do something resembling physical activity, but I can't bring myself to do it. If Pinkie woke up while I was gone, or if she died, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she was alone.
I'm grateful for the ponies who visit. The girls, the Crusaders, and even ponies in Ponyville who just heard Pinkie was sick pay her bed a visit. They come for Pinkie Pie, and they stay a while to console me. I protect my pride, and when they get too sad, sentimental or sappy, I change the topic to brighter, more casual things. The visits distract me from the situation, even if it's just for a little while. They're what keep me from completely losing it. They don't make everything better, though, and as soon as they leave, I'm back to watching Sleeping Beauty, and feel myself holding back tears yet again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four days before
10 A.M. I've just had breakfast, and I'm sitting in with Pinkie again. Sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea to stay here with her. I think sometimes about all the stuff I'm missing outside. All the hours I could spend having fun like I always do, I'm spending sitting here doing literally nothing but wait for Pinkie Pie and read books kept by the hospital. I feel a little bit of regret at those times, and wonder if I've really made a wise decision. With a look back at Pinkie Pie, all that doubt vanishes, and is replaced with thoughts of how much I care about her.
Pinkie's left foreleg, which is resting on her chest with her right, twitches. I gasp and rush to her side as fast as my legs can take me.
"Pinkie? Are you there?"
Her other legs start to move, her chest shifts position, and her eyes open very slowly. Once she's fully awake, the first thing she notices is all the machinery attached to her.
"Woah, where'd all this come from? Did the medical ponies set it up overnight?" I scratch the back of my neck. Pinkie's going to learn something soon that might make her pass out again. Maybe I should lie for now, to keep her calm.
"Yeah, they did."
"But why didn't I wake up when they did that? I'm not that much of a heavy sleeper. And why do I feel so weak? It's like I haven't moved in a month!"
I bite my lip. Some lies don't last very long.
"Pinkie, there's something I've gotta tell you."
"What is it, Rainbow Dash?
"You have moved in the last month, but this is the first time you've been awake in eleven days."
Pinkie stares at me for a moment, her face showing nothing but disbelief.
"Eleven days?! That can't be, I've never slept for eleven days straight! Is this because of my sickness? What have I missed? Am I gonna—"
"Easy, Pinkie! You're awake now, so everything's fine. You stay right there, I'll go get Doc and be back ASAP. Don't pull on any cords or tubes." With that, I retrieve our favorite physician and have him in Pinkie's room within a minute. Doc keeps the neutral expression he always uses as he approaches and just looks at Pinkie.
"Well Miss Pie, you appear to be in stable condition," he says. He tells Pinkie to hold still, and he removes all the wires and tubes so Pinkie can sit normally again. Pinkie looks relieved. Waking up with all those attachments probably made her really uncomfortable.
"Just relax for a few minutes, I'm going to fetch two nurses. We're going to do some x-rays, analyse your heart rate data, and give you some medicine to be taken through the mouth. Stay calm and relaxed, and everything will be fine." He walks out, and I'm here with Pinkie Pie again, who is awake for the first time in way too long. I have to stop myself from jumping on her as I embrace her in a big hug filled with all the emotions that have built up since the last time I saw her awake.
I don't even try to hold back the tears anymore. I cry. I weep like a foal. It's one thing when you're dealing with tears of sadness, but it's another with tears of joy. I'm more joyful than I've been in a while.
"I was so worried," I say quietly. "I thought you might never wake up again, and, and..." I trail off. I just meet her eyes. Eyes filled with care and kindness. She smiles softly and touches my cheek with her hoof.
"I'm okay, Dashie."
"You're okay." I can't keep the relief from coming, the smile from stretching across my face. That heavy weight is off my back again, and I feel free.
Doc comes in and asks Pinkie to try to walk. Slowly, he emphasizes. Pinkie carefully gets out of bed and manages to stand up straight. She walks forward with the rough speed of a tortoise, and confirms that she can, in fact, walk. He leads her out of the room, presumably to the x-ray room, and I'm left alone to bathe in the happiness that comes with knowing Pinkie is okay.
I need to tell the others about this. I run out into the hallway and out of the hospital to find our friends and give them the great news.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three days before
The six of us are together around Pinkie's bed, each excitedly sharing news, thoughts, or just small talk with the newly revived Pinkie Pie. When I gave everypony the news, they were just as excited as I was. They all came back again today to celebrate and spend time with Pinkie, and I can tell she's enjoying every minute. We're all riding an unstoppable high because our friend Pinkie Pie is kicking once again.
Doc comes in with a clipboard in front of him, and we all turn our heads to look at him. He looks more solemn than normal. He clears his throat.
"I have something to tell Pinkie Pie alone, so I must ask the rest of you to leave."
We start to protest, but Pinkie pipes up. "Whatever you need to say, you can tell all of us."
"Very well," he says. "Pinkie Pie, we looked at your results, and it seems to have gotten worse since its diagnosis. Far worse, I'm afraid." Everyone drops any happy attitude and replaces it with seriousness and fear. After a long pause, he speaks.
"Judging from the data, the way things are now, you have roughly three days to live."
The world freezes.
I used to wonder what drowning felt like. I thought it would probably be one of the worst ways to go. When you're drowning, you know that the end is coming. You feel the water work its way into your system and kill you from the inside, you feel incredible pain and discomfort, and though you will try to resist, there's ultimately no escape. I'm drowning.
A couple ponies gasp, and everyone looks at Pinkie. She's trying her best to be strong, I can tell, but I see water in her eyes. She's shaking slightly, but she keeps herself composed.
"Doc," I say. "There's gotta be some way to fix it. Some way to save Pinkie Pie, please. Anything." Shame on me for not being as composed as Pinkie. The water in my eyes is already coming out. Doc clears his throat.
"There is the option of putting Pinkie into a medically induced coma and performing advanced treatment. It would likely take several weeks, and the odds of success are slim."
"How slim?" I say. Irrational hope always seems to work its way back into me.
"Five percent," he says. "Rounded up."
"What? Well... it's better than nothing, right Pinkie?" I turn to find her looking down at nothing in particular, lost in thought.
"If I agree to treatment," she says, "what exactly will I be doing?"
"It's quite simple," says Doc. "We would need to start as soon as possible, ideally within the next hour. You would be injected with drugs designed to put you in a coma-like state to slow all of your biological processes. From there, our medical team would use every procedure possible in an attempt to cure you of your ailment. However, some potential treatments can in themselves be dangerous, and your disease will still be at work, so there's a high chance of you dying while under. If that were the case, it would be like going to sleep and never waking up."
Pinkie keeps looking down, considering everything. Seconds tick by, her future hanging in the balance. She takes a deep breath and looks the doctor in the eye.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather not be treated."
"WHAT?!"
That came from me. Everypony stares at me, but before anyone else can speak, Pinkie continues talking to Doc.
"So, if I'm guaranteed to... die, either way, is there any real reason for me to stay here?"
"None that I can see."
"In that case, I'd like to go home."
"I can arrange that for you." Doc walks out of the room, leaving five sad ponies and one very angry pony. I turn to Pinkie, unable to stop myself from shouting.
"Why won't you take the treatment? Do you just want to die?" Pinkie shrinks away from me, and doesn't meet my eyes.
"Of course not, Rainbow Dash," she says. "I just want to spend my last days alive doing what I like, and I can't do that if I'm comatose."
"Wouldn't you rather not die at all?"
"I would. I don't think a five percent chance is worth me not giving a good goodbye, though."
"But-"
"Rainbow Dash," she says, interrupting me. She gives me a stern look. "What would you do, if it was you instead of me?"
I would do exactly what she's doing. There's no way I'd put my own wellbeing above giving my friends closure. I would deny treatment and make sure I could get my affairs in order. She's totally right. But I still hate this.
Instead of telling her so, I walk over to the window, open it up, and fly out into the open night air. I might be able to breathe, but I'm still drowning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two days before
All day, I feel frustrated. Why couldn't Pinkie understand? I want what's best for her, for us, and that's Pinkie taking whatever chance she has at staying alive. I want her to be happy more than anything, and she can't be happy if she's dead. I can't be happy if she's dead.
I need to clear my head. I head to Sweet Apple Acres, not to talk to anypony but to breathe in the apple-smelling air. I walk between two rows of Red Delicious trees, taking in the atmosphere. I distract myself from all the terrible thoughts I have by watching bugs crawl around and noticing how the wind blows the trees. After being cooped up in the hospital with Pinkie for so long, being outside again is a little disorienting. All the movement and little details that keep adjusting, and it's all alive.
It's a lot to be taking in again all at once, and I get so lost in the breathtaking reality that I barely notice myself drifting off to sleep with the cool breeze.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dash, if you keep falling asleep in my orchard like this, we're gonna have a problem."
I groggily open my eyes and see that the sky has turned dark. I also see an annoyed Applejack standing over me. She grabs my hoof and helps me up.
"What are you doin' out here?" she says.
"I was just... I don't know," I say. "Resting. Thinking. Stuff like that."
"You still upset about that whole thing with Pinkie Pie?"
"What thing?"
"Her deciding not to get her sickness treated."
I nod, frowning. "You aren't?"
"I was at first, but I reckon I don't have the right to be upset. It really is her decision to make, after all. When it comes to the life of somepony you care about, you've got to respect their best wishes. Speaking of which," she says, taking off her hat and pulling a piece of paper out. "Pinkie was really wishin' you were there today."
I take the note and start reading:
Hey, Dashie!
I didn't get to talk to you today, and I wonder if it's because you're still mad about my choice. I'm sorry that it made you so upset, but I'm not even a little sorry for making it. I really wish I could spend more time with you, though. If you aren't still angry, I really want you to come see me tomorrow. Pretty Please?
Your Bestest Friend Forever,
Pinkie
That's when I realize how selfish I've been.
Pinkie Pie only had three days to live, and I just wasted one on my petty emotions and inability to accept things as they are. The understanding is like a guilt-filled slap to the face. I can still make it right, though. Tomorrow's my chance to set everything straight with Pinkie Pie. I won't screw it up.
"Thanks for the talk AJ, really helped out. Gotta go!" I fly off without allowing her to respond, which seems to be something I do often.
Thanks to all the conversations I've had with my marefriend, I know just where I can find an open party supply store at this hour.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day before
I knock on the door. I probably look pretty silly holding all these balloons in my mouth, which is perfect. In a second, the door opens and I see Pinkie Pie. She takes a moment to process what she's seeing, then grins. With that, all my worries about her reaction disappear.
"Hey. Come on in!" She says. I enter Pinkie Pie's bedroom and release the balloons to float up to the ceiling.
"What are all those for?" she asks.
"They're my 'I'm sorry for not respecting your best wishes so please forgive me' balloons. I thought you might like them, they're the helium kind."
"They're great, Dashie." She looks around the room. I stand for a moment, not knowing what to say.
"So," I say. "What do you think you're going to do today?"
"Wait."
"Wait?"
"I'm just going to stand here and wait."
Whoa. This doesn't seem like Pinkie at all. I was sure she would want to go out and do something, especially given that these next couple days will literally be her last. The weight is back with that thought, but being with Pinkie lifts it enough that it can be ignored.
"Don't you wanna, you know, do something?" I ask. "Standing around and waiting doesn't seem healthy." She looks at her hoof.
"You know, I never did get an actual wristwatch. Maybe I should put that on my bucket—never mind."
"Pinkie, I really think it would be nice to head outside, get some sun, talk to your friends. Maybe we could visit AJ at Sweet Apple Acres, or Fluttershy at her cottage with all the cute animals. What do you say?"
"Nope, I've gotta stay here and wait."
"Why?"
There's a knock on the door. Pinkie opens the door and in walks a pony walks in that I don't recognize.
"Oh, Pinkie Pie!" says the unknown pony. She has a thick Camterlot accent.
"Hi, Fortune!" says Pinkie. "You're the first one to show up!"
"Hang on," I say. "First of what?"
"My first goodbye visitor!" says Pinkie. "Twilight helped me arrange this. Everypony I've ever spoken to is going to get a message at a certain time telling them to head here for one last conversation with me. Each message comes with a number, and the lower it is, the sooner their turn is. Each one should last about three minutes or so."
"Cool!" I say. I sit down and watch. Pinkie and Fortune share an uncomfortable look.
"Uh, Rainbow Dash, this is a little awkward, but I'll need you to leave while I'm talking to these ponies."
"What? Why?"
"We're gonna be having deep, personal conversation, and the words I've got for them aren't for you to hear."
"But—"
"Please, Dashie? It's just for today."
That wouldn't be such a big problem if today weren't half of Pinkie's remaining lifespan. With my ears and head low, I leave the room without a word.
I decide to wait outside Sugarcube Corner and just watch the ponies. That ends up being surprisingly rewarding. Within half an hour, a bunch of ponies go into the shop, and only one comes out every five minutes or so. First it's mostly ponies I don't recognize who look like they're from out of town. Soon, the ponies of Ponyville start to go in. Some are ponies I've just seen but never talked to, others I only talk to when I need to. Eventually, ponies I really recognize show up, ponies that I talk to a lot, and Pinkie probably talks to them too. It's amazing how many friends Pinkie Pie has made in her life.
I notice something even more amazing.
This should be a really sad time, right? Pinkie, everypony's friend, is nearly dead. While I do see the occasional sad or crying pony, that's not the main feeling. Everypony here is socializing while they wait. Talking to each other, both in the Corner and outside. They chat, smiling and laughing. A massive get-together involving every pony Pinkie Pie knows.
One last party from the premiere party pony.
Somepony taps my side. I turn and notice Ditzy Doo, holding a letter out to me.
"This is for you, Rainbow Dash."
"Thanks." I take the letter and open it as she flies off.
478
I have a meeting with Pinkie Pie, too? I'm not going to question it, I've been dying for the chance to talk to her again these past few hours. I walk into the Corner.
Mr. Cake calls out number after number, and I anxiously wait for mine to be called. I don't talk much to the other ponies. I only care about conversation with one right now. Time passes. The crowd dwindles, and ponies leave one by one as fewer are waiting for their visit with Pinkie. Soon, there are only five ponies left with cards.
"Number 478!"
That's me. I raise my hoof and start walking towards the stairs up to Pinkie's room when I notice that everyone else has done so as well. Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity all started moving at that number.
"I guess she wants to see all of us together," says Twilight.
We walk up the stairs very quietly, not a word passing between us. We get to the door and I knock. It opens slowly, and on the other side I see the spitting image of exhaustion. Pinkie's eyes are sagging, her face is lax. As soon as the door is open and we start walking through, she lies down on her back.
And she's never looked happier.
"Hi, girls!" she says. We give our own halfhearted greetings.
"It's been a really long day," she says. "I mean, talking to everypony is great and all, but I'm pooped!"
We all stand in silence. I look at each of the girls. No one knows what to say. I don't know who moves first, but soon we're all crowded around Pinkie Pie, hugging her, hugginh each other, and not saying a word for three minutes. It's not a happy time, it's just time we spend with each other to make the dense feelings we have into something better. Suddenly Pinkie motions us to move back a bit so she can address us all at once.
"Girls," she says. "You five are the best friends I've ever had. All the great things we've done together and all the laughter we've shared has made me the happiest pony in the world. I'm sorry that I won't be around to laugh with you much longer, but I hope you'll all be happy without me. Now, come hug me some more."
No problem.
Eventually, the five of us leave and let Pinkie get some sleep. It's now ten o'clock, and she probably needs it.
Standing outside in the cool night air, we five share a look. Fluttershy speaks first.
"I can't believe that tommorrow, she's supposed to..." She trails off.
"I know what you mean," says Twilight. "Even now she seems so full of life. I'm having trouble comprehending that she won't be here much longer."
"I wonder what it will be like," says Rarity. "Having our get-togethers and such without Pinkie Pie present."
"I reckon it'll be pretty hard for a while," says Applejack. "But Pinkie wouldn't want us to fret much about her. She'd want us to be strong and be happy without her."
I get angry. "You're talking like she's already gone."
I shake my head and fly off before anypony has a chance to respond. I try to focus on breathing deeply and take in all the nighttime views. I just don't know what to think. Maybe now's not the time for thinking. Now that everything's set in stone, maybe all there is left to do is wait.
When I get home, I notice that a letter has been dropped off at my doorstep. I open it up. The message is short:
479
I rush back to Sugarcube Corner, and before I know it I'm knocking on Pinkie's door again. It opens.
"Hey, Dashie!" she says. "Listen, I've kind of gotten used to falling asleep with somepony next to me. Would you mind staying the night?"
"Pinkie, I would spend the night with you every night for the rest of your life if you asked."
She smiles. "Thanks. I've got an extra bed." She pauses, like she's wanting to say something more. "Rainbow Dash?"
"Yeah?"
"I kind of want to ask you something, but I'm a little embarassed, and afraid of how you'll react. But, there's no reason to put i it off. Rainbow Dash, do you want to have s—"
"YES!"
"—some sandwiches?"
I feel my face get really hot all of a sudden. "Uh, yeah, that sounds good. I'm starving."
"Great! There's a whole plate of hay sandwiches down in the kitchen that nopony got around to eating. Bring those up."
I walk to the kitchen with the fastest, yet most casual walk in the history of fast casual walks.
When I get back to the room with the sandwiches on a plate, Pinkie Pie is already in bed. She looks at me and smiles. Then she does that really cute thing where she yawns, stretches out her hooves, grabs the cover and pulls it up over herself. I get in the bed next to hers, and guess that the food will probably stay uneaten.
The lights go out, and I lie on my side, watching Pinkie sleep. She's still here. Tomorrow, I know, she'll go away, but for right now, I can see her breathe. It's weak and uneven, and it sounds kind of painful, but she's breathing. She looks so calm and at ease that I can't help but feel the same way. Like everything is okay, and everything will be okay.
I fall asleep with Pinkie Pie for what I know will be the last time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Day
I wake up, feeling groggy, as usual. I rub my eyes and open them, and notice the ceiling is unfamiliar. For a moment I forget where I am. I get into an upright position and look around, and everything comes back. I notice Pinkie's bed is empty. I look and see her standing over by the window, looking out on Ponyville. I walk up next to her, and she turns to look at me.
"Oh hey, you're awake."
We stand in silence for a few minutes. I watch the ponies outside on the street. They go about their days, not caring about what I know is going to happen today. Even when it does happen, they probably won't care that much. They'll just carry on. I wish I could join them.
"What do you want to do today?"
"What is there to do?"
"Well, just standing around and waiting wouldn't be healthy."
We both laugh, but just a little. Even humor won't work now. What can we do? Where could we go, when Pinkie could literally die at any second?
Pinkie starts, "Why don't we— Ah!" I turn in surprise, and see her fall to the ground, wincing in pain. She's breathing harder and more quickly, and I know that this is it. This is the moment I've lived in fear of since the day of diagnosis. There's nothing I can do but be here. I get down, touch Pinkie's hooves with my own, and tell her to try to relax. She does the most amazing thing then. She smiles.
"Dashie, thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything. For being a good friend. For caring. Thanks for just being you. You're the pony I fell in love with, after all."
For a second, I can't think of anything to say. I figure it out quickly, though.
"No, thank you, Pinkie. For being even better than me."
"Yeah, I am pretty great."
She laughs, and I can't help but smile. She always makes me smile. When she stops, she winces.
"I never thought it would hurt so much to laugh. I guess that's pretty ironic, huh? I don't really want to stop, though, even if it hurts." She opens her eyes and looks at me, still smiling but serious. "Dashie, I want you to promise me something."
"Anything."
"Promise me you'll keep laughing, no matter what. That you'll always be the strong, happy pony I know."
I raise one hoof. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
She laughs again. As she does so, she gasps and grabs her side. She rolls over, clenching her teeth, but soon smiles again and keeps making eye contact.
"It's funny, in a way. Here I thought I would be ready at the very end, but now that I'm here, I kinda wish I had more time. That's the thing about life. It can be really good sometimes, but it has awful pacing." She grabs my right forehoof tightly with her left, and I hold on to it like it's the most important thing in the world.
"Tell the other girls that I love them too, okay?" Still smiling, she closes her eyes, shedding a single tear.
It happens bit by bit. Her breathing becomes more shallow and less pained. Then it stops altogether. Most of her muscles relax, but she still holds my hoof tightly, like that's the last bit of the world she wants to have with her.
As her grip weakens, I feel the most important pony in the world leave me behind.
Author's Note
I'll give you a moment. Alright, onto the author's notes for "Salmon".
If you've read Looking for Alaska by John Green, the "_ days before" format will be familiar to you. Yes, that is where I got that from, and I'd love your input as to how well it worked here, or whether you'd have enjoyed the story more without the countdown clock.
I understand that stories like this, with a dying person close to the protagonist, aren't a new concept, and I'd also like input as to how original this one is and how it stands compared to others that are out there.
I got the idea to write something like this first because I love reading stories which make me feel emotion, and get me really attached to the characters. This is my experiment with eliciting emotional investment from the reader. If you are emotionally invested, that means I'm doing a good job. If you kept a straight face through the entire chapter and gave the occasional yawn, I did not do a good job. Tell me which happened in the doobly doo down below.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Song, isn't it silly to write a sad story just for the sake of evoking sadness?" Yes. "Would you care to apologize?" No. "B-but vanity!" Not sorry. "You ***!" Your opinion is noted, now fall back in line.
It is my hope that you've enjoyed what you've read thus far. I've made the decision that the story ends here. If you want more, you can go ahead and consider any headcanons you may have to be canon.
Thanks for coming, folks!
—Fleeting Song
