Dale and Matt's road to victory, episode 1: learning friendship

by shootingstar212

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Romance, Adventure
Length: 2201

Dale and Matt, best friends. But one day, the two receive a letter that informs them that they must stay in Equestria until they learn the magic of friendship. Follow the two on their adventure into a world that they despise

Dale and Matt, best friends. But one day, the two receive a letter that informs them that they must stay in Equestria until they learn the magic of friendship. Follow the two on their adventure into a world that they despise.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-26 03:20:08 UTC

Chapter 1: Bad beginnings

Chapter 1: Bad beginnings

New Game

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Shootingstar212 proudly presents…

Dale and Matt’s “Road to Victory.”

Episode 1: learning friendship…

I could hear the crunching sound of the gravel pathway that my best friend Matt and I were walking down. Well I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Dale Stevens; I'm just your average high school student, grade 11 to be exact. I was wearing a black shirt with the assassin’s creed logo on it, as well as red shorts. I have green eyes and black hair.

Beside me was Matt Green, he has blond hair, and blue eyes. He is wearing a white shirt with the Naruto Sharingan on it, and some blue jeans. We are both 17 years old; Matt is just slightly older than me. He is my best friend, fun fact. We have done so much together; in fact we are going to my house to try to beat “Ghosts N Goblins” on my NES (Nintendo entertainment system). All was right with the world until Matt asked me something weird…

“you want me to do what?” I ask my good friend Matt, but this time cleaning out my ears to make sure I hear him right.

“I want you to watch the first episode of “My Little Pony: Friendship is magic.” he put on a shit eating grin.

“no way, I’d rather drink buffalo shiz. That’s a combination of shit and jiz.” I chuckle a little at the gross concoction.

“Hey you know I have to do it to bitch, so don’t complain.” Matt told me.

“Yeah, but I won’t enjoy this shit.”

“you think I want to?”

“I bet you jerk off to the ponies.” I say making the jerking off motion.

“Fuck you; Ryan said he’d give us 20 bucks if we did.”

“is it that bad?” I questioned.

Matt shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know, but I do know that we should play a quick game of “Ghosts N Goblins” before we watch that shit show.”

We both laugh as we make it down the rest of the gravel path and on to my street. Once we made it to my house, I unlock the door so we can enter. We race up to my room and shut the door. We look down at the NES that has the copy of “Ghosts N Goblins” inside. We look at each other and we both nod our heads at the same time to signify that we were ready.

“3…..2…..1…..GO!” I shout. Matt suddenly pressed the start button on the NES controller. The little cut scene that play’s where Arthur’s (the knight) girlfriend gets kidnapped by Satan, just before they fuck in the cemetery too.

“don’t you hate it when you’re cock blocked by the prince of darkness himself?” Matt asked me.

“I despise it.” I reply with a little chuckle. The game started with the familiar yet horrifying song plays (it scary cause you WILL DIE, so you WILL hear that song a lot) Matt starts to play the game. Zombies start to spawn out of nowhere, Matt tears them a new asshole with the javelin. One of them drops the knife. “GET THE KNIFE!” I almost shouted.

“I KNOW!” Matt shouted back as he picked up the knife, it fires faster and does a little bit more damage. Matt carefully ran through the stage, until we ran into *sigh* the red devil. The red devil leaps towards Arthur and begins to fly.

“OH, SHIT, WATCH OUT!” I shouted as the red devil hits Arthur once, causing him to lose his armor. He was now fighting in his underwear.

“Dale I can’t do it.” Matt pretended to cry. The red devil hits Arthur once more causing him to turn into a pile of bones. We decided it was time to watch “shitty show number one” as I call it.

I grab my laptop, bring it out to the kitchen table, and then search “My Little pony: episode 1” on YouTube. I click the first video I saw. After it loaded and started to play. Matt and I were adding our own commentary like the moment where the purple unicorn meets the cyan Pegasus; I think her name was “Rainbow Dash”.

“Hey, it’s sonic the hedgehog.” Matt said chuckling.

“Wait….oh my god it is.” I realized the truth. Rainbow Dash acted just like sonic the hedgehog I mean she goes fast, thinks their fast, and is cocky….its fucking sonic the mother fucking hedgehog.

…20 minutes later…

The episode ended with a “to be continued sign” that just PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF. I close my laptop in rage “FUUUUUUCK!” I shout into the air.

“I HATE TO BE CONTINUES IN SHOWS, IT MEANS IF YOU WANT CLOSURE YOU NEED TO WATCH BOTH PARTS!” Matt was yelling as well.

“That’s it we never talk about the show, never mention the show, and not even think about the show, EVER!” I say shouting at the last part.

“all those who agree?” Matt asked

I raise my hand “I.” I say.

“Okay, it’s unanimous.”

Just then I hear the mail slide in. “I got it.” I say going to get the mail.

“Don’t worry I was too lazy to get it myself.” he replies.

“Shut the fuck up.” I say jokingly. I scan through the mail, it was mostly bills, but one message catches my eyes. It was for Matt and I……wait MATT DOESN'T LIVE HEAR. I walk up to Matt “it’s for us.”

“what's it say?” Matt was curious.

I open the letter, and then read it aloud. “Dear humans, my name is Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria. You two don’t seem to understand the importance of friendship, so I instruct you to come live in Equestria until I think you ready to LEAVE!” I shout the last part.

Matt takes the letter from me and clears his throat.

“Remember to stay at the Ponyville library and pretend that you know nothing about Equestria, no need to cause a panic. Princess Celestia.” Mat finishes reading. We sat in silence for a moment. “It’s a troll.” he said convinced.

“Yeah imagine if it was fucking real, HAHAHAHA!!!” we began laughing our asses off. At least until the letter started to glow.

“HOLY SHIT!” we said in unison before getting engulfed by the bright light.

You earned a trophy

(bronze)

Always trust the letters.

Are you sure you want to quit?

(yes)

Saving game data….

Save complete…

Chapter 2: Where are we?

I could only see darkness, I could hear faint coughing. I use my strength to try to open my eyes, but with no prevail. I use ALL of my strength to open my eyes, this time it works. I was lying on a grassy field, wind was blowing, trees were seen in the distance, and a town is within walking distance from here. “Matt.” I groan.

“y-yeah.” I could hear Matt reply after coughing a little bit more. I attempt to stand up, slowly getting on my knees I noticed that I was sort of looked cell shaded. The grass was sort of dry, but not fully. I stand up and look at Matt who was looking himself over. “Dude, we look like we are in a comic or cartoon.”

“Sadly not anime.” I say wishing this was like ‘Naruto’.

“Damnit Dale, don’t give me ideas that won’t happen.”

“Where are we exactly?” I ask Matt while looking around the area to get a good understanding.

“Well Dale we’re in a grassy plane, topped off with wind that is frankly kind of cold.” Matt shivered a little.

“No dip shit, we’re at Walmart getting batteries.” I retort.

“Well, if we’re lost out here, we need a source of food.” Matt then started to imitate bear grills. The classic anime bead of sweet went down the back of my head.

I chuckle “we can just eat the apples from the tree out yonder.” I point behind him.

“Don’t ruin my fun Dale.” Matt demanded.

“Ok….we need to find a place to live.” Matt Grills (like the nickname) was determined to find us some refuge. I tap his shoulder and point towards the random ass town that was in the distance. “Fuck you.” Matt said as we walk off towards the town.

…random ass town…

We reach the town after what felt like an eternity. I hear Matt gulp as he reads the sign that said ‘Welcome to Ponyville, please enjoy your stay’. “I think I know where we are.”

“Yeah Matt we’re at a town.” I insult Matt because of his ‘alter ego’ phase he had earlier.

“No asshole, we’re at that town from that horrendous show we watched earlier.” Matt reminded me.

“Remember the oath we took, we’re not going to talk about the show, mention the show, not even think about the show.” I state while folding my arms and closing my eyes.

“Actually, it was a democratic vote.” my eyes shot open.

“Let’s just ask for help.” we walk in the entrance. Right away we notice the multi coloured horses roaming around the town, doing their usual things. But that lasted a grand total of 4.3 seconds until Matt was tackled to the ground by a pink blur.

“Hi I’m Pinkie Pie, the party pony of the town. I make friends with everypony that has ever entered town, except that meanie Gilda. Say you’re kind of cute for a creature that nopony has ever seen before. *gasp* I should throw you a party!!!” the blur shouts in a few seconds, and then blasts off leaving Matt in a confused state. I help Matt off the ground but notice something…odd.

At this point we had gotten the attention of the citizens of Ponyville. “Err….hello.” I greet, but earning no response. The looks on their faces was a mixed bag. On one side it was fear, and on the other it was amazement with a hint of curiosity.

“Dude, let’s get out of here.” I hear Matt whisper into my ear.

“Uh…we’ll just be going somewhere else now.” I say. We started to walk, then speed walk, jog, run, and then sprint into some random part of the town. I don’t know if we were even thinking about where to run, but we did just that. We started to swerve around the crowds, hearing screams of fear. They sounded like ones that you would hear if a little girl saw a mouse, high pitch and annoying.

…town square…

We stopped at a random location to catch our breaths. “*huff* did we lose them?” Matt asked completely oblivious that we are in the centre of the town.

“Matt, we’re in town square.” I inform my friend.

“You got to be fucking with me.” A huge swarm of ponies surrounded us, there was no escape.

“LOOK OUT!!!” I hear a panicked tomboyish voice call out.

“Who? Me?” I question allowed but I was too late. I felt a force slam right into my stomach, the wind was knocked out of me, I was sent flying backwards, and landed on the hard dirt. I started to cough and weez in the pain. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!!!” I shouted at the pony in question. I slowly stand up to see a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail staring at me in anger

.

“I don’t know what that means, but nopony talks to me that way.” she gritted her teeth. I shocked, a talking, cartoonish, Pegasus. I really was in that horrible show.

“d-did you just talk?” I questioned.

“Of course I can, do you think I was born yesterday.” I think she was still angry at me for cursing at her. Then I realized, she rammed into me, I think on purpose.

“HEY, why’d you do that?” I was pissed.

“It’s because you might attack us.”

“But you told me to look out.”

“Not you, the other ponies.” that bitch exclaimed.

“You think that I might attack huh……AAAAHHHH!!!” I yell a battle cry before rushing at the cyan asshole that attacked me first.

READY?

FIGHT!!!

I throw a punch at her face, hitting her dead on. Then I kicked the pony’s legs to send her off balance, and finally I tackle her to the ground.

3 HIT COMBO!!!

We started to roll on the ground, eventually the Pegasus ended up on top; she started to hit me across the face. I felt a little bit of blood fly out of my nose, her nose was already bleeding. She tries to hit me once more, but I catch her hoof and kick her right off.

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

The mare started to cough a little bit; I take the time to rush her. Once I was close enough I hear something.

“HEY, OVER HERE!!!” I turn to see a lavender unicorn calling out to me. At least the last thing I saw was a purple aurora surrounding her horn, before I was out cold…

*You earned a trophy*

*(Bronze)*

*A knock out if a say so myself*

*Would you like to save?*

*(Yes)*

*Saving….*

*Save complete…*