Glimpse into the mind of one Pinkamina Diane Pie
Twilight Sparkle loves books.
Such statement can hardly be considered anything but a severe understatement. To say Twilight Sparkle loves books is akin to saying Rarity loves fashion or that Applejack loves apples.
Perhaps it would be more apt to say that Twilight has a passion for books that borderlines on the unhealthy. Suffice to say, books are an important part of her life and she knows them. She spent years not just reading them, but analysing them, studying them, comprehending them. Technical books, story books, historical records, guides…no form of printed paper escapes her purview.
And the reason, esteemed reader, for such musings, is so that you understand that when you are told that Twilight Sparkle found the manuscript she was currently viewing to be challenging…that such words are not meant to be taken lightly.
*****
Coming to Ponyville changed Twilight’s perception of books, or more accurately, her perception of the act of reading. In the past books had very much been the main focus of her life. These days however they were more akin to therapy. In the chaos that was her life, her books were a little island of peace, a comforting constant in an ever changing world.
And that just made her current predicament all the more aggravating.
“So let me see if I get this straight…” She turned to her friend and author of her current torment. “This story of yours,” She pointed to the pages scattered through the floor in front of the two mares. “Is supposed to be set in a universe based on the world I found when I went through the magical mirror, except there is no magic at all, only…” She hesitated, searching for the correct terminology.
“Anomalous activities.” Pinkie supplied helpfully.
“Yes that. And those manifest in the form of these SCP, like that one” Twilight scanned the floor until she found the right page. “The invincible lizard?”
“Oh yes! That one was Gummie’s idea”.
“Yes, I…wait, what?”
Pinkie leaned in closer to Twilight, her standard chirp attitude dropping in favor of a conspiratorial expression. “I think it is supposed to be a self insert,” She whispered into her ear. “A bit of a Mary Sue if you ask me, but don’t tell him I said that”.
“Very well then…” Twilight briefly considered asking for clarification, but wisely decided against it. “And so this manuscript you wrote is a collection of files on the various SCP, that are contained by this organization called the Foundation that operates in secrecy, protecting the unsuspecting public from all these anomalies”.
“You got it!” Pinkie chirped, dropping her previous demeanour and bouncing back to her usual…bouncy disposition.
“And then there is this SCP in particular,” Twilight searched for and found another loose page. “SCP-XXXX? Why doesn’t it have a number like the others?”
“I haven’t decided on the number yet…It is a very special one after all”.
Twilight surveyed the page once more. She had to agree, it certainly was…special.
*****
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its public nature SCP-XXXX is uncontained. Foundation data mining agents are to search the World Wide Web for instances of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-C, and prevent their proliferation by application of existing copyright laws. Usage of protocol Hetta-005 (see addendum 2) is discouraged at this point. Alternative methods of limiting exposure of teenagers and adults to SCP-XXXX as well as more efficient methods of detection and elimination of instances of SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B are being developed at Site-78.
~~Protocol Argo-003 is currently in effect~~ (see addendum 3). Protocol Argo-003 has been discontinued in light of incident #MO32-8 (see addendum 4).
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to an anomalous television broadcast on the Hub Network known as My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. The broadcast consists on a children’s program aimed for pre-teen females featuring the adventures of a small group of anthropomorphic ponies in a standard fantasy setting. The contents of the episodes are seemingly non-anomalous featuring concepts adequate for the intended audience, with a heavy emphasis on promoting wholesome values and life lessons, usually focusing on how to interact with one’s friends.
The anomalous effects of SCP-XXXX manifest when the program is viewed by teenagers or adults. In ██% of cases the subject will be converted in an instance of SCP-XXXX-A, a teenager or adult a fan of SCP-XXXX. Instances of SCP-XXXX-A refer to themselves as “Bronies” and will often try and convert non-anomalous teenagers and adults by exposing them to SCP-XXXX. While anyone over the age of 12 may be affected by the effects of SCP-XXXX, instances of SCP-XXXX-A differ significantly from what would be expected from a random sample of individuals. Notably:
- 59% belong to the age range of 16-22
- 82% are Caucasian
- 88% possess a body mass index of over 25
- 94% display some form of difficulty with basic social interaction
- 99,93% are male
- Significantly above average prevalence of psychological disorders
In █% of cases an instance of SCP-XXXX-A will become an instance of SCP-XXXX-B. Instances of SCP-XXXX-B will not only try to expose others to SCP-XXXX, but they will also produce instances of SCP-XXXX-C and similarly try to expose others to it.
SCP-XXXX-C consists in any type of media, such as video, graphic novel, manuscript, music or [REDACTED], based on SCP-XXXX. Instances of SCP-XXXX-C have shown an even greater conversion rate of non-anomalous humans into instances of SCP-XXXX. It is theorized this is because the content of SCP-XXXX-C is especially geared to young adult and teenager males and doesn’t suffer from strict regulations such as those imposed on children’s programs.
Addendum 1: Detection of instances of SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B
Instances of SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B often behave in a fashion indistinguishable from non-anomalous humans. However all confirmed recorded instances have displayed a strong emotional response to at least one of the following statements:
“Luna is totally overrated. She barely is on the show!”
“I think the voice from censored Derpy is actually better than the original one”
“I think Twilight becoming a princess is the best thing that happened to the show”
“I like My Little Pony, but don’t you ever wonder if the show would be better if they were hamsters instead?”
Addendum 2: Protocol Hetta-005
On an early attempt to contain the spread of the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX, Foundation level 3 researcher and Site’s 78 resident psychologist, Doctor ████ enacted protocol Hetta-005.
Using sophisticated psychological techniques, protocol Hetta-005 attempted to eliminate or otherwise curb the behaviour of SCP-XXXX-A. This was done by means of implanting the notion upon instances of SCP-XXXX-A that their love for SCP-XXXX was inconsistent with their own self-image, specifically their sexuality and to a lesser degree their maturity.
As of ██/██/20██ protocol Hetta-005 has been discontinued at the advisement of Doctor ████. He concluded that SCP-XXXX-A was not only immune to the protocol’s techniques, it seemed to have the reverse effect, actually emboldening instances of SCP-XXXX-A, most likely due to a shared experience against a common perceived opponent.
Addendum 3: Protocol Argo-003
Protocol Argo-003 consists on a memetic effect believed to counter the effects of SCP-XXXX on SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B. It is administered subliminally by means of a popular website amongst instances of SCP-XXXX-A: http://www. ██████████████.com/
This website was created by Doctor ████ under the username ████████.
Addendum 4: Incident #MO32-8
Warning: Level 4 authorization required for access
Incident report:
Filing agent: Agent ███████
Nature of the incident: As of ██/██/20██ Foundation agents were deployed to the personal residence of Doctor ████ due to his failure to report to Site 78 upon the conclusion of his vacation period and subsequent failures to contact him. Within his residence Foundation agents uncovered a series of merchandise associated with SCP-XXXX, including figurines, posters, articles of clothing and a full body pillow that appeared to have been used for [REDACTED].
A search of his home computer revealed copious amounts of on-line activity consistent with that of an instance of SCP-XXXX-B.
Personal notes: It appears Doctor ████ became an SCP-XXXX-B early on. That damned website he set up using Foundation resources may very well be the greatest instance of SCP-XXXX-C in existence.
*****
Twilight felt a throbbing sensation in the area bellow her horn. Not quite a headache, but brewing one.
“And in this world, our lives are documented in the format of a story for young children…”
“Yep!” Pinkie turned to Twilight gazing her expectantly. “So? What do you think?”
“Well, I…” Suddenly being placed in the spotlight, Twilight flustered. “You know how ponies say they can’t tell if you are a genius, a mad genius or just plain mad?”
Pinkie giggled at that. “I can’t tell either!”
“Well Pinkie, this certainly doesn’t help!”
At that the two shared a light laugh. Having successfully lightened her own mood Twilight overlooked the manuscript one more time.
“I think it's good…really. It’s just…well, amongst other things, it’s a little too meta for my tastes”.
“Oh, Twilight!” Pinkie placed her hoof around Twilight and gazed to the side, as if addressing an audience only she could see.
“If only you knew”.
*****
Dr Clef woke up.
Gazing into the ceiling of his personal quarters on Site 42, he muttered to himself, “I really need to stop watching that stupid show”.
Author's Note
Born out of an idea I had for a SCP-J. Thought it was far more appropriate to post it here than it would have been to post it in the Foundation Website.
