My Penance, My Plans, My Hope

by Blood Brandy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Nightmare Moon
Length: 1595

Sitting alone for so very long, she who was once Princess has time to think and plan...and hope...

Sitting, sealed away for so very long, I have looked down upon the world.

As the centuries passed, I had time to think. Time to plan...

Time to Hope.

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My entry in the Everfree Northwest Fanfiction Contest

EDIT: This story was apparently one of the runners up in the contest (Meaning it was one of the stories in the last round of judging). Yay!

Published 2014-03-03 05:50:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-03 05:50:09 UTC

Comfort in Darkness

Darkness...

Darkness, the same cold, empty darkness, alone as I have been for so very, very long.

The darkness that has served as my penance for my moment of weakness, the moment of weakness that cost me everything, my crown, my subjects, my reputation, my body...

My beloved sister...

I can still remember her tears as she was forced to banish me, the pained, tormented look in her eyes, all caused by me and my weakness, the weakness that allowed it to take hold, the Nightmare.

The blasted Nightmare, the force I cursed with everything I could, that cost me everything, that twisted my form and desires into who and what I am now. With every moment that passed I cursed it for everything it cost me, but more than anything. I cursed myself. I hated myself for being so weak that it was able to influence me, to make me the puppet on it's string, and I hated myself for being unable to know where it's manipulations ended and my true desires began.

I can still feel it, tied to me but separated by my sister's spell, trying to take control again but not yet able to free itself from the power of the Elements.

The Elements, that is a subject I have spent a great deal of my exile pondering. The six gems tied together so intrinsically that none can function at anywhere near it's full power without the others, and yet, in my pondering, I've also realized that simply being together would not let their full power shine through, either.

In my knowledge, they have only been used twice, by both my sister and I when we felled Discord, locking him away in stone, and by my sister when that madness took hold of me.

I am no fool, even in my twisted, empowered form, my strength and magic would still pale in comparison to that of Discord. Even if they were only enough to entomb him, that great amount of power should have been far more than needed to strip me of this wicked parasite, but my sister was only able to seal me within my moon.

The Elements, I came to realize, simply aren't meant to be held by a single pony, or two, or even five, if their true power is to be drawn forth. Each element is meant to resonate with something deep within a pony's heart, something linked to each of the Elements, and to attempt to resonate with many or all of them would weaken their effects.

Nay, the true power of the Elements can surely only be drawn when each is held by a paragon of it's virtue, and perhaps it need not even be a pony. Loyalty can be found in great abundance in the hearts of the Earthen Hounds and they could be as playful and full of joviality as any given pony. Many Griffins, noble warriors as they tend to be, would consider telling falsehood beneath them and give greatly of themselves to those in need. And, of course, few creatures hold as much magic in their very bones as a Dragon does.

Truly, though, the Elements only need their users to be in harmony with one another, just as I was once in harmony with my sister, which would mean those chosen to use the elements must also hold a connection of harmony with one another, perhaps as family or those who are family in all but name and blood, and such love, such a close friendship, is truly rarer than any gem. Such a bond is something usually only seen among those who had accomplished much together, friends since birth, soldiers who fought and bled together, side by side, but to find such a diverse group as to encompass avatars of all the elements that could share such a bond would be a feat of incredible difficulty, I'm sure.

While such pondering did me little good, it passed time during my exile, left to the shadows to look down upon the empty nights of the world, broken only by the stars and the very few, far, and faint lights on the surface whose illumination could ever so slightly be seen from my moon. I could still touch upon the dreams of my former subjects, but from such a distance it was an arduous and draining task that only showed how they feared and, eventually, forgot about me.

Sometimes, I felt that was truly the worse fate, not imprisonment, but to be forgotten at the waysides of history, that my only legacy be not the concertos I composed, my contributions to the military structure, not my alchemical discoveries or the beautiful night skies I worked tirelessly to form as their princess, but that I would only be remembered as the monster I have become.

To be remembered only as a thing of shadows in stories told to frighten foals into behaving is a true indicator of my fall from grace, but something I try not to embitter myself over, if only so as not to give the Nightmare Forces another hoof-hold in my mind and spirit.

It was after the centuries passed, though, that I began to notice more, and brighter, lights upon the surface, driving the night's darkness away as subjects sought merriment in the late hours, many even seeming to lead their lives nocturnal. Through the scant few dreams I could observe, the world was changing greatly beneath me. New dreams, new fears, new desires with the old, thoughts of devices whose purpose befuddled me, new styles of music both enchantingly beautiful and despicably horrendous to my ears, all things playing in the slumbering thoughts of those under my watch. So many things I wished to see and experience with my own senses, but I could not, not as I am, not as this warped, twisted and imprisoned monster that I am, not as the thing that haunts the night terrors of the young.

However, were I to finally break free, that hateful, spiteful thing would control me again, relishing the freedom that it has been struggling to achieve for so very long and tormenting my sister and her subjects. It would attack my sister and fell her or be felled by her...and I'm not sure which prospect would frighten me more, to lose my sister, my life, or be imprisoned once again and risk losing my sanity, left alone in this empty place again.

Nay, the Elements are my one and only hope, but they can be of no aid to me when wielded by my sister alone, and I doubt that she would have had the insight or time to come to such a conclusion as I have, having surely been heavily occupied fulfilling both of our duties since my exile, so I had to find some way to covertly seek those who could free me and return my to my true self without the Nightmare realizing.

Stellar Divination is a difficult and time consuming practice, one must carefully analyze any and all possible interpretations, but I have had little else but time here and all the stars to read in search of any clue that could lead to those who could bear the Elements and begin to bring them together.

Many far underestimate the power of dreams, the effect they have in shaping who somepony is. Many don't realize how a nightmare might push somepony in a different direction, or a pleasant dream might tempt one towards another path in life, or a waking dream can affect one's view of the world. Many would be greatly surprised how, with great patience, even an alicorn's mind may be pulled in a new directions.

A spirit of Loyalty befriended a timid heart of Kindness, even against the thoughts of her griffon cohort. A farmer's daughter found how to be Honest with herself and her desires. A Generous, if somewhat vain, young seamstress gains an instinctive use of a spell centuries out of use. A young unicorn finds that great spark she needs to begin reaching into her vastly untapped potential for Magic.

Each choice and move is methodical and heavily debated in my mind, each a gamble of long odds and some leading to repercussions I could have never expected, the paragon's destinies connecting in ways I hadn't foreseen with Loyalty's show of flying skill, the spirit of Magic becoming a recluse to all but her family, her teacher and her drake, and a true avatar of Joviality revealing herself with the subtlety of a cannon-shot, but I adjust, I plan and I hope.

I hope that all will be in place in time, as I feel the Nightmare edging ever closer to its...to our freedom.

I hope that I have chosen correctly, as the Paragons grow and mature.

And, as the day where I may see her with my own eyes again draws closer, I hope my sister will be able to look upon my true self again, not the wicked Nightmare Moon I have become, and forgive me for my weakness and what it caused.

Author's Note

My entry into the Everfree NorthWest Fanfiction Contest

A bit of a longshot, but what the hay.

Sort of came to mind after occasionally hearing about some sort of benevolent but manipulative Celestia planning things out with Twilight and the other elements, and I spun it around.

Doubt I'll win anything, but I kinda like what I got out of this. Here's Hoping.