The Dangers of Stupidity

Chapter XIII: Rainbow's Hall

I walked forward and pushed open the lightning bolt-engraved door, Rainbow Dash trailing close behind me. As the passage opened, she looked into the cyan-walled room with concern.

"Y'know, this place might not be good for us if we need to fight." She noted with disdain. "I can barely fly in here!"

"That won't be a problem." I said egotistically, lightly pushing her aside and entering the room. I looked up and noticed that the ceiling was extremely high.

How high is that? Looks to be at least eighty feet.

"Hey Rainbow, just how much vertical space would you need to fight effectively?"

"Prob'ly around seventy-five feet. A little over two hundred for a Sonic Rainboom. Why?"

"Well, the ceiling in here is around eighty feet, so I don't think you'll be having much of a problem."

"Awesome!" She exclaimed, flying into the air and backflipping.

"On your toes!" I ordered, pulling out my Amp and charging my left hand with electricity. A large amorphous shadow burst forth from the ground, exploding and splitting into five pegasus-shaped shadow creatures. Each one of them looked different in some form, but they all had pure black eyes and were all wearing purple jumpsuits with lightning bolts printed on their sides and ankles.

The Shadowbolts...

"Well, we're fucked like a two-dollar whore." I stated matter-of-factly. One of the creatures, this one a light grey color with a dark blue mane, flew forward and tackled me into a wall. I quickly recovered and discharged three lightning bolts into his head. The Shadowbolt fell to the ground. I bashed him in the skull with my Amp a few times, then kicked him away into the air. I held him up in place with a chain of electricity.

"Rainbow Dash!" I yelled, snapping her out of a strange stupor. "Hurry up and take him out!"

"Gotcha!" She took off straight towards the ceiling. At the very top, she flipped into a nosedive, folded in her wings, and slammed the Shadowbolt into the ground. His body exploded in a flash of black smoke, but quickly reformed. The five of them stood in a triangular position. Their obvious leader, a yellow mare with an orange mane, stepped closer to Rainbow Dash. I noticed that she had bright yellow eyes unlike the rest. She felt familiar for some reason. Almost like I had seen her somewhere before.

"I see that you have skills," She observed in a tone practically designed to stroke Rainbow's ego, "but I wonder if those skills are the same without him involved." She snarled at the end of her sentence, pointing a hoof at me. I crouched down and began aiming a bolt at her neck.

The perfect place for instant incapacitation.

I smirked and moved to pull the metaphorical trigger. Another Shadowbolt flung herself into my side, knocking me out of my focus and making my bolt hit the ceiling above their leader. A few pebbles fell from the same spot.

Maybe, just maybe...

Rainbow Dash looked over at me for a second. I winked and motioned an eye at the ceiling, then blew the Shadowbolt off my chest with a Kinetic Blast. She took my hint and turned back to the captain.

"Oh yeah? And just how're you gonna test that?"

"Simple. The honor system. He stays out of this, and we duke it out in the air. Sound good to you?"

"Fine by me. How 'bout you?" She asked me.

"Go for it." I replied, going along with the plan.

"If everything's clear," The phantasmic mare assured, "then let's do this. You ready, hon?" I realized just what the Shadowbolts' captain was doing.

She's trying to lull her into a false sense of security with fake romance. Sick little bitch. I'm not going to let her trick my friend!

"Dash, don't listen to her!" I shouted. "She's trying to throw you off!"

"Quiet, you!" One of the Shadowbolts demanded, punching me in the face with a surprising amount of power. I retaliated by kicking him in the stomach, sending the stallion sprawling. Being the opportunist I am, I slid forward and kicked him into the air, then knocked him back down with a grenade from behind. Before the bastard could hit the ground or recover, I wrapped my legs around his neck while standing on my hands and slammed him into the marble floor headfirst. I could hear the sickening but satisfying crunch of his neck snapping like a twig. But of course, fate had other plans for me.

The stallion transformed into a swirl of black smoke and flew towards me, reforming just in time to buck me in the center of my throat. I flew back and smashed into the wall, gasping for air. At this point I was certain that I was about to die.

Killed by a pony. That's a pretty weird way to go, but it's a cool one.

As my vision started to darken, I could see a strange figure in the distance. It appeared to be a person carrying a massive sword.

Cloud Strife?

"You can't die here." He stated. "Your friends need you, just like mine needed me. Sephiroth cannot be allowed to go on any longer. Especially not in this world. You must defeat him. You are the only one who can."

Why me?

"Because, you are the only one of your friends who truly wields the spark that unites the Elements of Harmony. The Element of Magic herself may carry the spark inside her, but you wear it on your sleeve. You willingly threw yourself into unbelievable danger just to ensure the safety of your friends and the citizens of this world. There are very few others who would be willing to go to that length, but I will show you a few. Behold."

Cloud turned around. A beam of light shone down, revealing a vision of a boy in red clothing fighting a man in a black cloak with light pink hair. The boy flung a key-shaped sword at his opponent as he jumped downward, swinging a long pink and green scythe.

Even more lights appeared, each one showing a different vision.

A young man in black wielding two longswords, one black and one blue, fighting valiantly against a warrior in red and white with a sword and shield. The swordsman appeared to be fighting a losing battle, as his target was simply too fast. Even with this clearly known to him, he kept fighting.

A boy in green wielding a sword and shield, fighting against a strange, almost pig-like monster. The beast charged at him through a portal, and out of the blue, he transformed into a wolf. He moved out of the way and latched onto the monster's underside, biting furiously.

A somewhat young man in almost medieval clothing flying through a town with what appeared to be a pair of grappling hooks and two swords, chasing after a humanoid giant. As he flung himself into the air, another giant leapt up, biting off his leg. He slid across a multitude of rooftops, landing at the end battered and bleeding. The scene shifted to another boy, this one with blonde hair, being eaten by another one of the giants. Before he could slide down the creature's throat, the same person from before with his leg still missing pulled him out of its mouth, tossing him onto a rooftop while he held the beast's mouth open with one of his swords. He reached out towards the blonde-haired boy who attempted to grab his arm. The giant's maw snapped shut, sending the teen's arm flying away.

A woman in orange and red armor running through various corridors, blasting away alien-looking creatures with a gun attached to her arm. She jumped into another room. A large floating monster with three long fangs on its underside moved after her. She fired a blast of blue energy at the flying blob, freezing it in place. The armored woman finished her assault by blowing it to pieces with a missile.

One final light appeared, revealing Cloud himself in a struggle against Sephiroth, their swords clashing with great power. A fire shone in Cloud's eyes. I had seen the same fire in the other warriors' eyes.

"Do you know who these people are?" Cloud asked me.

Sora, the Keybearer...

Kirito, The Black Swordsman...

Link, the Hero of Time...

Eren Jaeger, the Rogue Titan...

Samus Aran, defender of the galaxy...

"And Cloud Strife, the bane of Sephiroth's existence." I rose to my feet, newfound power filling my body. "I see it now! I could see a fire burning in all of their eyes as they fought. You were no different. What I saw was the flame of heroism and loyalty. Even though these people knew that there was almost no chance of them winning the battles they fought, they still did it for the good of their friends and just their fellow man. I'll tell you right now. I admire the people who carried that fire before me.

And I aspire to see it in my own eyes when I finally destroy Sephiroth!"

"Good. Just remember, you carry the spark, but even the largest of sparks must have kindling to start a fire. Your friends are your kindling. Keep that in mind."

Everything returned to me in a rush of color. I awoke to see Rainbow Dash zipping through the air, fighting off the Shadowbolts by herself. I thought she was winning, but that was before the explosion. Rainbow Dash slammed into the ground beside me, bleeding profusely. I touched my arm to her side. With a few electric pulses, her wounds healed.

"They weaponized the Buccaneer Blaze! These 'Shadowbolts' are slandering the Wonderbolts!"

"No time for that. I have an idea." I leaned down and began whispering to her. She listened to my information and took off, flying around the room in a perfect circle. I charged my entire body with electricity. A space formed between my feet and the ground.

Electric skates. Swag!

I ran in a circle behind her, creating a small gust of wind. The wind increased in speed and rotation until it was getting hard for me to control myself. I started discharging large amounts of electricity from my body, increasing my speed and creating an electric tornado. The blue lightning mixed with the contrail in front of me and created what was apparently rainbow-colored lightning in the form of a tornado. I burst forward one last time and grasped onto Rainbow's hindlegs.

"Now!" I shouted over the wind and thunder.

"Got it!"

She moved into the tornado's center and began spinning in place. Large streams of electricity attached to my body from the wall of lightning around us. She lifted up higher and tilted sideways, making it so that I was practically running on an invisible wall. As she tilted completely vertically, I let go and flung myself straight at the ceiling. A massive trail of rainbow lightning followed behind me. I cocked my arm back just before I reached the ceiling and punched it with all my strength, creating a borderline nuclear explosion. The five Shadowbolts were pulled into our tornado. I dropped back down and stomped the ground, causing the tornado to explode and send the Shadowbolts straight upward. The were caught in a beam of pure sunlight. It seemed to hold them in place. Slowly, the black drained from their jumpsuits and their eyes, revealing five normal pegasi in blue suits. They fell to the marble floors with a powerful thud.

"Wait a minute." I noted, stepping closer to the nearly unconscious ponies. "The Shadowbolts were actually the Wonderbolts." Now I recognized their leader. Her voice was familiar too.

"Spitfire?" Rainbow Dash inquired curiously.

"Yeah, it's me." She replied groggily, standing up and dusting herself off. She looked up at me and immediately began shaking in fear.

"I'm sorry!" She pleaded, bowing at my feet. "Sephiroth kidnapped us and turned us into those... things you just fought! We had nothing to do with it, I swear! Just please don't kill us! I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" I asked sarcastically. Her cheeks lit up like a grenade had gone off inside her head.

"Oh, I didn't think you'd say that." She whispered to herself. "Well, I did say 'anything'. Can you guys, kinda, like, leave or something?" She motioned to Rainbow Dash and the other Wonderbolts. They all took the hint and turned around, finding that the door was locked. Instead of leaving they simply stood there, staring at the wall with their ears covered. Spitfire looked back at me meekly.

"Can I just say that this is going to be really awkward?" She noted, her cheeks still practically flaming.

"Do you really think I was being serious? I'm not going to kill you, and I'm sure as hell not going to have sex with you. No offense."

"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!" She cheered, jumping up and practically crushing my windpipe with her forelegs in what seemed to be some kind of sadistic hug.

"On two conditions." I croaked.

"What?"

"First, get the fuck off me!"

"Sorry." She floated back down and looked up at me. "What else?"

"You and your Wonderbolts help us when we need it."

"Of course. What do you need us to do?"

"Nothing yet, but I'll call in the favor when I need it. Now go on, get out of here."

"Okay. I'll see you later. Wonderbolts, move out!" She took off out of the hole in the ceiling with the other Wonderbolts.

"So, you didn't... do anything just now?" Rainbow asked, walking back over to me.

"Of course I did. She said that she would do anything, so I decided to take advantage of the offer!"

"You sick-"

"I was joking! No, I didn't. I just had her owe me a favor."

"Don't joke about things like that! You almost got yourself killed!"

"Whatever." I found a pair of gems sitting on the ground next to an orb of blue energy. I smashed the orb against my sword, then placed the rainbow colored gem inside the door. Before we left, I looked down at the cyan pegasus beside me.

"You can go ahead. I really have to pee. Like, bad."