The Dangers of Stupidity

Chapter XXV: The Final Hall

"Well, ain't this just fine n' dandy?" Benson and Applejack looked at each other, surprised by their simultaneous remark. I punched the wall in anger, nearly breaking my knuckles.

"I thought we were done with this bullshit!" I stared at the door in front of me, seeing that it wasn't part of a wall. It just stood alone in the middle of the room. I grasped the handle and pulled on it, revealing nothing but an empty, white expanse. However, it was as if I was walking on solid ground. When the others stepped inside, the air around us began to swirl into a series of black symbols that almost looked like splintered hearts.

"Aw, shit!" My exclamation was both in disappointment and excitement.

"Why did you sound happy just now?" Benson asked me, scratching his head in confusion.

"From what I can tell, we're about to fight my fourth favorite video game boss of all time!"

"And who would that be?" I chuckled for a second, almost psychotically.

"Ever since I finished the game, I had always wanted to do this. The stage is set." I focused on summoning my "Keyblade". Instead of the standard Kingdom Key, a completely different weapon appeared in my hand. Its guard had a look similar to that of the chains that bound the Blades of Exile to my wrists. The handle kept in line with that motif, while its shaft was formed out of a long string of blue electricity, and the teeth made from the two Blades of Exile, their spikes pointing outward and curving in to give the impression of an arrowhead-esque shape. A small blue lightning bolt served as the Keychain.

"Hory shet..."

"How'd you get that?"

I have no freakin' idea.

A borderline demonic laughter echoed through the room. I looked around me, seeing no possible source of it.

"Who's there!?" I tightened the grip on my Keyblade, ready to use it if need be.

"You just said that you wanted to fight me. How could you not recognize the sound of your desire?" A man in a white coat printed with Nobody sigils floated down from... actually, I had no idea where he came from.

"Xemnas!"

"How long did it take you to figure that out?" Xemnas said in exasperation, seemingly resting his chin on one of his Ethereal Blades.

"Guys, stay back! This is gonna get ugly." I twirled my Keyblade in a circle before dashing forward and striking Xemnas over the head with all my strength, sending him flying to the ground. He rolled over, quickly avoiding my attempt to stab him while he was down. I blocked Xemnas' next attack, a short-range spinning slash that clearly held more power than I expected. I flung the weapon towards him, which he tried to dodge. It disappeared inches from his face and a silver flash erupted behind him. My Keyblade exploded out of it, sending Xemnas sprawling. I pinned him to the ground with a single, powerful thrust.

"That was the most...

disappointing thing I have ever seen in my fucking life." I pushed on the handguard, causing Xemnas to dissipate into a cloud of dust.

"Sephiroth must have a really crappy sense of humor, because this feels like a huge joke." I remarked, holding out my arm and dropping the Keyblade. It dismissed itself upon contact with the floor.

"What are you naming your Keyblade?" Benson's voice carried sincere curiosity.

"I was thinking something along the lines of "Thunderous Rage"."

"That is the definition of badass."

"Yeah, I guess it is." The sky darkened, and a black lightning bolt fell from a cloud in the middle of nowhere. Xemnas stepped out of it, wearing a blood-red coat marked with white Nobody sigils. His hair stood up on end, now a deep brown.

"Now this is what I'm talkin' about!"

"What did you just say, you insolent child?" Xemnas questioned. "I am your worst nightmare! I will tear you to shreds in seconds!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just get this over with." I summoned my Keyblade again, not even seeing Xemnas' fist impact against my chest with staggering force. At that moment, it felt like every last molecule of Oxygen had just fled my body at once.

Did he just go Super Saiyan?

"Any last words?" The Nobody lord held his hand above my face, charging it with bright red energy.

"I think someone just peed in my pants."

"Get away from him!" Benson yelled, blasting Xemnas in the eye with his sniper rifle. He turned his attention to my friend, giving me time to recover while they dueled.

Now would be a great time for that spell to work!

I focused on thoughts of massive battles, overuse of the word "Super", and unnecessary amounts of transformations. My body began emitting a strange white light, as did Benson's. Time seemed to stop for a few minutes. Or were they hours? I honestly couldn't tell.

"What the hell's happening?" Benson looked around him at everyone else frozen still, including Xemnas.

"The spell worked."

"What spell?"

"Luna taught it to me a while back. She said I would need it if we ever had to help defend Equestria. The spell allows me to fuse my body and soul with that of someone I have a deep bond with, whether it be friendship, familial ties, or love. Who else to try it out for the first time with than my best friend?"

"I have no idea how to do this, though!"

"You don't need an idea. Just let your soul guide you."

"Dude, how high are you right now?"

"The only thing I'm high on is adrenaline. And I'm in space."

The two of us performed an intricate handshake, our arms moving on their own as if they were created for the sole purpose of carrying out this spell.

"Bro!" I exclaimed, cocking my arm back.

"Fusion!" Benson replied, doing the same.

"GO!" we slammed our fists together before they became one, our bodies morphing into a combination of each other. The normal flow of time resumed as I took in the sight of our appearance. In this form, we wore a bright purple gi, a series of red and black robes, a red bandana, and a pair of white boots. Our hair stuck out from under the bandana, pointing backwards at an angle. The shining yellow spikes looked like they could be used to impale someone. Electricity crackled around us, alongside a strange clear light.

"W-Who are you!?" Xemnas quaked in fear at the sheer aura of power radiating from our body.

"Who are We?" Our voice sounded like We were speaking over each other.

"We are Bensarrick. The title of your doom."

"You won't be leaving here alive!" With a mighty scream, Xemnas' hair turned even longer than before, cascading down his back. His coat turned deep blue, and from what I could tell, his eyes no longer had pupils.

Super Saiyan 3?

"I think so."

Benson? You can hear my thoughts?

"We're the same person, dipstick. Of course I can."

Don't think about Vinyl, don't think about Vinyl...

"I can still hear you."

Forget what I just said. Let's do this!

We rushed Xemnas, brutalizing him with a devastating series of punches and ending with an uppercut, sending him straight into the air. We flew after him, continuing our assault. Xemnas' weak attempts at defending himself were in pure vain.

The third form is already sapping his life force.

"What?"

It was stated by various sources that the Super Saiyan 3 form slowly eats away at the user's energy, making them useless unless they start fighting right off the bat. We kept him from doing that, so the transformation is taking its toll faster than normal.

My mind took over for an instant. In that small window, I summoned my Keyblade. We blew Xemnas back down with a moderately powerful Ki blast, preparing to possibly defeat him.

"Shining Keyblade Attack!" We slashed at his body with disturbing speed, leaving multiple trails through the air. Finally, We stabbed him in the chest and twisted the Keyblade sideways, almost like We were turning a lock, finishing the move with a long Ki beam. Xemnas slammed into an invisible barrier with a pained grunt.

Time to finish him!

"I thought we were doing Dragon Ball moves!"

It was just a metaphor.

A blue orb of Ki materialized in our hands, growing larger as We spoke.

"Ka...

Me...

Ha...

Me..."

Xemnas gathered an immense amount of black energy in his palm, using it to counter our attack.

"HA!"

"Nil Buster!"

The two beams met in midair, our shouts fluctuating in volume alongside them. Our blasts were too evenly matched. They could keep doing this for eternity if one of us didn't find an ace in the hole.

Benson, I have an idea, but it's super risky.

"Do it!"

"Kaio-Ken... TIMES TEN!" A red glow enveloped our body and the steady stream of Ki, giving it an earth-shattering power. The resulting explosion forced us to shield our eyes as everything went white. A few seconds later, the light dissipated.

"Do you... think that can... defeat me?" Xemnas trembled as he stood, trying to charge another Nil Buster.

"Oh, no, you don't!" We floated into the sky without even trying.

The Fusion is wearing off! We'll have to end this with as much power as we can get!

"What are you thinking?"

The ultimate overkill. First we try to use a Kaio-Ken times twenty, then we hit him with a Spirit Bomb.

"It'll take too long for a Spirit Bomb! His Nil Buster charges too fast."

Fine. Maybe a Galick Gun?

"That could work. Let's do it!"

"Kaio-Ken... TIMES TWENTY!" The red aura was much larger this time. It almost felt hot. Our right hand flared up with purple energy, just in time to meet his attack.

"Galick Gun!"

"Nil Buster!"

The lavender beam sliced straight through the black, blowing through Xemnas' chest with ease. We hung in the air, just barely supporting ourself.

"It's done..." We dropped like a rock, our bodies separating upon impact.

"How awesome was that?" I croaked, trying to stand up.

"I feel like someone lit my soul on fire, and not in a good way."

"What just happened!?" Twilight seemed completely and utterly shocked.

"Bro Fusion." We both replied, high-fiving before we limped out of the room.