1 - Expelliarmus: The Disarming Charm
One day, Twilight Sparkle was practicing dueling like in Harry Potter's Defense Against The Dark Arts. The unnamed professor instructed her to use the spell Expelliarmus to disarm, and only to disarm, her opponent, a nondescript human wizard. Twilight and her opponent walked up close, then to both ends on the room's platform. Then the professor signaled a countdown: "A one..." Twilight began to charge up her horn like the Mega Buster in the Megaman games, making Megaman X's charging sound. "...A two...A THREE!"
Twilight yelled "EXPELLIARMUS!" and fired a large white sphere of energy from her horn. As her opponent got hit, he dropped his wand and flew into the wall, smashing it and leaving behind a hole shaped like him. She was then criticized for excessive force and trying to imitate X. "You clearly play way too much Megaman X. Now let's try this again. A one...A two...A three!"
Twilight gave Expelliarmus another try, but this time, she didn't charge her horn buster before shooting another wizard's wand out of his hand. The professor was surprised she wasn't overconfident this time. "Twilight, you have passed basic instruction on this disarming charm. Now I have an assignment for you to make sure you've mastered it: A blue-haired plot device girl has been spotted in my park. She apparently isn't from here, and that probably means some really nasty beings might come after her. Make sure she isn't taken, and don't get taken with them either."
Twilight went off to the park to carry out the task, knowing that this would be a physical battle rather than a mental one.
Twilight arrived at the professor's huge park. There was a huge green field, benches, and a massive drinking fountain. It was still daytime, but somehow there was an illusion of sunset. The blue-haired girl she was looking for sat on one of the benches facing the sunset. Twilight introduced herself, "Hello blue-haired girl! What's your name? I'm Twilight Sparkle, a student of Princess Celestia." but got no reply. "..."
"She must be in a trance or something. Guess I'll have to..."
Twilight began firing purple energy shots everywhere, making Star Wars blaster sounds. Some explosions started, but the girl didn't react, even when one of the blasts hit her bench. Finally the girl said, "I am Lala-Ru." "Lala-Ru, huh? Then why didn't you tell me right away?" "Because...they...are coming...for me..." "Who's they?"
Suddenly, three robots that looked like R2D2 but with long tentacles warped in like Megaman, along with a purple-haired woman. The woman introduced herself as Lady Abelia, and explained that Lala-Ru was needed to drive the plot of a really overrated crap anime whose positive reviews are obviously fake.
Twilight was confused, so her professor used magic to send her a message. "That woman is right. You can prevent that anime plot from starting. In case you're wondering why you would want to prevent it from being made, Abelia comes from a depressing anime. Nopony will gain ANYTHING from watching it other than suicidal depression."
Abelia noticed this message and gave an order: "Robeasts, crush the purple unicorn and seize our blue-haired plot device." One of these giant robots grabbed Lala-Ru and aimed an arm cannon at Twilight, charging it. Unlike most anime characters, Twilight didn't bother talking or having a flashback. Instead she sprung straight into action.
Twilight jumped up to dodge the Robeast's laser beam, and a second later she was flapping her wings and hovering. "EXPELLIARMUS!" She shot the other Robeast's hand to release Lala-Ru before flying over and kicking him in the face, but nothing happened. The Robeast then slapped her aside into the fountain.
After falling into the water encircling the drinking fountain, Twilight thought to herself, "I mustn't run away. If I don't beat these huge metal creatures, my professor will fail me!" She climbed out of the water and dodged more laser beams while charging Expelliarmus again. She shot one Robeast and toppled him over, also hitting the second one in the process. A nondescript man fell out of the Robeast as the top of his head flopped open from the fall.
Twilight noticed the cockpit. "Oh I get it, it's an exoskeleton." She proceeded to hop into the abandoned Robeast's cockpit and controlling it with magic to beat the crap out of the other two. "Run away Lala-Ru. You don't want to stay near these giant animate armors for long." Twilight summoned a door, which Lala-Ru and Abelia ran through. They got chased by an Indiana Jones boulder until it got stuck between two narrowly-placed stone columns.
Meanwhile, the fight against the Robeasts continued. Twilight, controlling one of the Robeasts, exchanged punches, kicks, and laser shots with the other two for three minutes until the other Robeasts were incapacitated. Then she jumped into space to blow them up with a heavily charged laser beam.
Then Lala-Ru and Abelia flew out of another door and landed back in the professor's room, where he Avada Kedavra'd Lala-Ru in front of Abelia and taunted her: "Now what are you going to do without your walking plot device?" She replied, "Nice try, but it's not over yet. She's got two forms." Lala-Ru then respawned with a huge geyser of water replacing her lower body (think Marvel's Hydro-Man.) She blasted the professor with a huge jet of water. When Twilight came back to his room, she saw that the girl had mutated and got the following message from the professor: "Twilight... this girl...is a one-dimensional plot device. You have to destroy her...or she'll continue bringing trouble for as long as she exists." The professor then kicked the bucket and Twilight remarked on both how nameless characters die more frequently and how many times anime characters give entire speeches before dying. She and the girl exchanged blasts in a battle that lasted three episodes. Eventually the girl decided to charge an attack for six more episodes, but Twilight quickly charged and fired one last Expelliarmus shot without wasting an episode, blasting the girl all the way back to the park. The grass and soil absorbed the girl, sealing her fate without giving her time for a speech.
Abelia then gave a typical "this cannot be" message: "NOOOOO! My walking plot device has been destroyed completely! Now how am I gonna get infinite water for my world?" Twilight told her, "If you just wanted water for your dimension, you can come back to the park with me. There's a huge fountain there." And so, Abelia sent some more Robeasts to get water from the fountain to save her world from its drought.
And just like at the end a typical MLP: FiM episode, Twilight wrote a letter to Princess Celestia: "Dear Princess Celestia, today I defeated a walking plot device and saved us a terrible anime series that has nothing to offer other than depression."
The end
