An Old Flame

by LDSocrates

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance
Length: 5113

[One-Shot] A week before her wedding, Cadance receives a letter from one of her exes for a rendezvous. Cadance agrees to meet her, hoping to catch up with her old friend, but the meeting takes a turn for the worst.

A week before her wedding, Cadance receives a letter from one of her exes for a rendezvous. Cadance agrees to meet her, hoping to catch up with her old friend, but the meeting takes a turn for the worst.

A big thank you to my friend Jackie for the cover art, and for helping to develop this idea. A special thank you for the people that pre-read this and helped me improve it. Here's hoping someone else is entertained.

Published 2014-03-01 20:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-01 20:30:06 UTC

Long Flickered Out

Dearest Cadance,

It’s been a long time, Loveseat. You haven’t written in ages, and I was starting to worry that you’d forgotten about little old me. Imagine my shock when the next thing I hear about you is that you’re getting married! I never thought I’d see you and that Shining fellow together, but I never was good at predicting what you’d do next, was I?

No hard feelings over not inviting me; I understand. Would be mighty awkward to send a letter to your ex and say, “hey, it’s the one that got away, want to come see me get hitched?” If you really don’t want me at the wedding, I won’t show up. Still, you’ve always been really sweet to me, and I want to be there to at least catch up on things with you before that ring’s on your horn. I’ll be in Canterlot next Saturday so we can have one last “sleepover at Hop Along’s house” – same time as the old days. Really hope to see you there, and I’ll be waiting, sugar.

Hugs and kisses,

Lily Blossom

“Hugs and kisses,” Cadance repeated to herself. “Typical Lily. I hope this doesn’t get as awkward as I think it will.”

The streets of Canterlot were abuzz as they usually were, though with the bizarre energy that only a high-profile wedding could bring to the city of socialites. She kept hearing her name every now and then from gossip circles outside coffee shops and ponies trotting about and flaunting their wealth. Their excitement brought to Cadance’s mind the tone of voice Shining used when dealing the killing blow to a boss in one of his tabletop campaigns, the adorable nerd. But with Shining, she understood; that was an accomplishment. Why ponies were so ecstatic over the romantic lives of complete strangers, she was quite comfortable never understanding.

Thankfully, a little bit of disguise work kept her from getting swamped by paparazzi. A sky blue cloak and shorts to hide her cutie mark and wings, a bit of magic to dye her unique mane completely purple, and the idle rich that roamed about were none the wiser.

It didn’t take much longer to get to her destination. Celestia’s sun was starting to make its arc toward the western horizon, its light peeking over the roof of The Edge of Glory inn and tavern. Despite being just another place for ponies to get good and plastered, it was still a picture of pretention on the outside, with walls and columns of marble and stone and gold. It was a four-story place, pretty small as far as Canterlot watering holes went, but it was one of the few businesses right next to the edge of Canterlot’s main platform, and thus the best place to see the sun set and a lover’s getaway. Cadance could clearly see the boundary between solid stone and open air about ten meters behind the building.

Of course, Hop Along’s house didn’t exist. There probably was a Hop Along somewhere in the world, but she was just a friend Lily and Cadance invented as an excuse to sneak out and do a little underage drinking. She was amazed neither of their parents ever caught on. The dumb pun on the hops used to flavor beer should’ve been a dead give-away. Of course, the two of them thought that it was brilliant at the time, being teenagers.

Cadance casually dodged a member of the next generation of teenage drinkers as he was thrown out on his rear by a mare bouncer. Old reflexes die hard. “Get fresh with me again and you can say goodbye to your teeth!” the bouncer called after the poor sod. She noticed Cadance coming up to the door and held it open, the disguised princess sidestepping the tipsy stallion. “Sorry about that, ma’am; jerk thought he could flirt his way out of his fake ID getting discovered.”

Cadance snickered as she cantered inside. “Don’t sweat it; I used to come here all the time. The bouncer from years back had to show me out once or twice for the same thing.”

The bouncer let out a little laugh as she closed the door. “Well, enjoy the feeling of being an adult now, ma’am!”

“I will, thanks.” Cadance trotted inside and swept her eyes across the tavern. It was a well-kept but much more humble interior of polished wood and shelves and shelves of drinks to help a mare forget her troubles… and what it felt like to be conscious for a few hours. Not a thing had changed since she’d last been there years ago, but that was sort of the point: a place with rustic charm but a thick coat of Canterlot prim polish, so a bunch of rich native kids could feel like rough and tumble hotshots without ever having to leave their mountainside gilded cage. Quite a few of the tables were full of such young ponies, drinking and chatting over each other, the sound of clinking glass, and the smell of sweetened alcohol.

The sole patron of one table waved over to her with a wide grin. Among all the Canterlot brats was a mare her age. Her humble snow white sun hat and black bowtie with a green sheen made her stick out from the crowd, like a rose in a field of weeds.

Cadance smiled and waved back, quickly cantering over. Their table already had a pair of drinks on it, the one before her friend half empty and the other untouched. “Long time no see, Lily!” she greeted, reservations gone. “What happened to your mane? You used to have it so long! Didn’t lose a fight with a gator, did you?”

“Oh ha ha ha,” Lily said with a roll of her eyes and a flip of her short, wavy, sea green mane. Her bayou accent was as thick as ever, and Cadance was pretty sure she was the only one that could understand her. “I should be askin’ what happened to yours, Loveseat. You always hated lettin’ your mane down.”

A little heat graced Cadance’s face as she took a seat next to Lily. “I had a change in fashion sense. Can you please stop calling me that? It was embarrassing enough when we were dating,” she pleaded in a hushed whisper.

“Way I see it, I can call you that, or I can call you by your real name, and you look like you went through a lot of trouble to disguise yourself. You sure you want anypony to know who you are?” she asked with a smug, infuriatingly charming smirk.

Cadance huffed, though the corners of her lips were tugging upward. “Okay, fine, you’ve got me there. Call me whatever you want.”

“Now ain’t that a mighty broad invitation,” she giggled with a flutter of her sea green eyes.

“You know what I meant,” Cadance grumbled, blushing harder. “Can you turn down the teasing a bit, at least? I’m an engaged mare now.”

“Oh, if you want, Loveseat,” Lily said with a giggle, smiling a bit wider. “Congratulations, by the way! Hope you two are happy together.”

“Oh, we are! Shining is… I wouldn’t know where to start,” she gushed with a big smile. “Sweet, dedicated, brave, and the most adorable stallion I’ve ever seen, for starters. You really should meet him – no, wait, I know you knew about him in school, and he was sort of just another loner, but I swear he was so much more than that! You two need to be reintroduced.”

Lily chuckled – not giggled, chuckled. Cadance’s ears lowered; Lily giggling meant genuine joy, Lily chuckling meant indulging the person talking and feigning amusement. “Maybe after the weddin’. As long as you two are happy, ain’t none of my business. Just let him know that he better treat you right, or I’ll be comin’ to tan his hide.”

Cadance smiled a little, more for Lily’s sake than anything. “Thanks, Lily, but I doubt I’ll need it. He’s definitely a keeper, and I don’t think that ring’s ever coming off my horn.”

Lily smiled a predatory smile, like a fox about to pounce on a rabbit – or in her case, Lily about to make a joke she knows she shouldn’t. “Oh, if only he knew where that horn’s been, Loveseat.”

“L-Lily!” Cadance blurted out, face going bright red.

Lily giggled coyly, choking down a cackling laugh. “What?”

Cadance groaned and covered her face with her hooves. “I should’ve known asking you to tone down the teasing wouldn’t work…”

Lily patted her on the back. “There there, sugar. If it really means that much to ya, I’ll lay off.”

“No you won’t,” Cadance said flatly.

“Ha, you’re right, I won’t,” Lily snickered, taking a swig of her drink. “Just relax and drink a little, Loveseat. I got you passion fruit juice and white rum, just how you like it.”

“Actually-” She bit her lip along with her tongue. No need to remind Lily that even her taste in alcohol has changed. Her horn glowed along with her glass, raising it to her lips and sipping some down.

“Actually…?” Lily coaxed with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s nothing,” Cadance said with a smile, setting her drink down. “Thanks.”

“No problem, sugar,” Lily smiled back. “So, if you don’t wanna talk about your new hubby… how’s life been treatin’ you?”

Cadance’s eyes swept around, as if anyone was actually listening in on the two random mares. “Life’s been going fine. I got my master’s degree, but ponies still care more about my… station,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “Doesn’t matter that the place I’m supposed to be in charge of vanished a thousand years ago; everyone still cares more about what’s in my blood than anything else about me. I didn’t exactly make any headlines when I graduated from college, you know? Some princess from a place they never heard of getting married, though, that’s going on the front page,” she huffed bitterly.

“Achievement doesn’t get readers, sugar,” Lily scoffed. “But romance, marriage, all that? Ponies love talking about it, gossiping about it. And an alicorn like you marrying a normal unicorn? That’s straight out of a romance book.”

Cadance shivered and blanched, taking another sip of her drink. “Don’t get me started. I have no idea how Celestia and Luna deal with having our ridiculously small race shoved in such a small, sexualized, romanticized hole.”

“I’m gonna cut you a break and not take advantage of that perfect set-up,” Lily giggled with a smirk.

“Thank you for your eternal wealth of restraint,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“No problem, Loveseat,” Lily said with a smile.

Cadance looked down at her drink and shook her head, taking another swig. “Bottom line, being what I am is not all it’s cracked up to be. But enough about me and my problems; what about you? Found a good mare to settle down with yet?”

Lily’s smile faltered and she avoided eye contact. “There’ve been a few nice mares I’ve dated over the years, but, well… no such luck. I left home after ma died two years ago; no filly foolers back home, and without ma there was really nothing keeping me there.”

Cadance’s ears flattened and face fell. “Oh, oh Lily, I had no idea!”

“Guess it was just another letter that didn’t get through,” she chuckled sadly, looking into her glass at the melting ice and dregs of alcohol. “It’s fine, though. I’ve gotten over it. I moved to a town close to Baltimare and got a job there, so I guess I’m doin’ alright for myself. Still, even small town mares avoid me. They just assume I’m some hick that spits in jugs and ain’t never seen indoor plumbing in my life. And the few gals that I have gotten to date… really, none of them compared to you.”

Cadance paused, reaching a hoof over to her friend. “Lily…”

Lily pulled her own foreleg away, avoiding eye contact. “Look, sugar, please don’t take this the wrong way. I didn’t come all this way to guilt trip you about our break up. It’s just… you’re the alicorn of love, you know? You may not be perfect, but you’re a hard act to follow. When you love someone, it’s never halfway; you pour your soul into it, and it feels… it feels like magic. And I feel like I’ve been trying for years to capture that magic again with another mare, but I never could.” She shook her head and groaned. “Booze must be getting to my head… I’m not makin’ my case for not being here to guilt trip you very well, am I? I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

"No, no, it’s okay,” Cadance assured, reaching over and putting her hoof on Lily’s. “It sounds like you needed to get that off your chest. We’re not marefriends anymore, but you’re still really close to me. You can always talk to me, about anything. I promise.”

Cadance smiled softly while Lily looked at her glumly out of the corner of her eye. Slowly but surely, a smile crept onto Lily’s muzzle, too. “Thanks, sugar… that really means a lot.”

Cadance spread her forelegs open, silently offering a hug with a sad smile. Lily returned the smile and took the offer, wrapping her forelegs around Cadance tight and nuzzling into her mane. Cadance sighed in relief, taking in a deep breath of the smaller mare’s scent. “Hm… strawberry shampoo and lilac perfume… you really haven’t changed a bit,” Cadance giggled.

“Some things never do change,” Lily giggled back, nuzzling her cheek against her friend’s before pulling back to leg’s length. She looked her friend in the eye with a genuine, unburdened smile, her sea green eyes shimmering like they held an actual sea.

Cadance blushed, taking her turn to awkwardly avoid eye contact. “Look, Lily, I know it must be painful for you to be here in the first place. After all you’ve been through, you must have sunk a lot of money and time and willpower into getting here. Still, I really would be honored if you came to my wedding. If you don’t want to, I won’t bug you about it, but-”

Lily gently put her hoof on Cadance’s lips and giggled. “I’d love to, Loveseat.” She gasped happily and grinned wider. “Oh, wanna see my dress? Took a shiny bit or a few hundred, but I got a dress in case you let me attend, and you just gotta see it! It’s just upstairs; rented a room here for the night, but since I’m staying for the weddin’, I’ll be here all week.”

“Of course,” Cadance said with a smile, picking up her drink and finishing it off. “Don’t worry about expenses. I’ll pay off your hotel bill, and that dress.”

Lily’s face turned a soft shade of pink. “Oh, sugar, you really don’t have to. I forbid you from buying me things even when we were dating, so why would I let you-”

Cadance snickered and put her own hoof on Lily’s muzzle with a smug smile. “Just let me pay you back for all this lost time, okay?” she asked.

Lily tried and failed to hold back a huge grin. “Alright, fine, you can blow your bits on me if you want to. Now c’mon, follow me.” She slipped out of her seat and cantered towards the stairs, weaving through the more rowdy customers with a big spring in her step.

Cadance let out a giggle and followed suit, galloping a little to keep up with the fast little mare. “Hey, wait up!”

“Can’t help it if you’ve gotten slower, Loveseat!” Lily laughed over her shoulder as she cantered up the stairs.

“I am not slow, I just don’t want to run!” Cadance huffed with a smile, catching up to Lily on the stairway and cantering right behind her. It took her a second to realize that Lily was climbing the stairs with a flirty sway to her hips, making her groan and look away with a blush. “Ugh, Lily!”

“You are just way too easy to embarrass, sugar,” Lily giggled ahead of her. With a swish of her tail she pranced onto the second floor. “My room’s just over here.”

Cadance rolled her eyes and willed her blush to die down with little success, following her friend as she slipped through one of the doors. She trotted inside, shutting the door behind her, to see Lily already rummaging through the closet. It was standard hotel room: beige carpet, a double bed, a TV, a random vaguely artsy painting on the wall, barely room for anything else. The two of them were quite familiar with The Edge of Glory’s rooms in particular; they’d often check into a room for the night during their “sleepovers” to compound their vices.

“Ugh, one sec,” Lily grunted with a growl. “Blasted thing… take a seat on the bed, sugar.”

Cadance blushed a little and hesitated, but obeyed and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “So, how was the trip over here? I really feel bad about not getting your letters for so long, so I kinda want to pay for your train ticket too…” Her eyes snapped up when she saw a green glow radiating around Lily’s head. “Lily? Is… is that your dre-”

Cadance was cut off by her own gasp. Her ribs felt like they were tightening and crushing her lungs, knocking the wind out of them. She tried to move her forelegs to her chest to paw at it, maybe thump her chest to loosen it, but she couldn’t. They went limp at her sides, all control gone. She tried to move her hind legs, her back, her spine, anything, but none of them responded. She slid onto the floor with a thud, totally limp and unable to stop herself.

She heard Lily snicker. “That was embarrassingly easy. You’re not very predictable, but I can still play you like a fiddle when I want to,” a completely alien, almost echoing voice said. Lily trotted up and stood over her prone friend, a predatory smile on her face and a wicked gleam in her eye. “You always were far too easy to guilt trip, Loveseat.”

“L-Lily?” Cadance managed to choke out.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes… and no.” In the blink of an eye Lily was engulfed in green flames, and just as quickly they were gone, leaving a much taller creature in her place. It had a black carapace instead of fur, its legs riddled with holes. Fangs peeked out from behind its lips, and venomous green eyes looked down at her from under an aqua mane. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Queen Chrysalis at your service. Or rather, you’re at mine. I’d order you to bow, but you can see the problem with that. Didn’t your mother teach you to never accept a drink you didn’t see poured?”

Cadance hacked, her lungs wracked with pain. “What did you do with Lily?” she wheezed, willing herself to move in vain.

The thing… Chrysalis smirked and fluttered her eyes. “Oh, your concern is mighty touching,” she said, Lily’s voice coming out of the monster’s mouth, “but there never really was a Lily, you gullible little thing!”

“Wh-what?” she spat out, eyes going wide and ears laying low.

Chrysalis giggled in her surreal, true voice. “Lily Blossom was just another alias of mine, a disguise. I’m far older than you, child, and have done this many times with many faces in many countries,” she explained, a feline, sadistic smile on her face. “It’s astonishingly easy to create an identity from a remote location like the southeastern swamps and forge documentation. It’s even easier to seduce and grow close to very important ponies…" Her eyes bored into Cadance as her grin downsized into a smug smirk. "Or ponies that I expect will become important, like yourself. I have a vast network of ponies that’d do anything for my very charming, amiable personas. It’s nothing personal, but for what’s coming I’ll need you out of the picture.”

She tried to shake her head, maybe back away, but she couldn’t. All she could do as she looked in the monster’s eyes was cry. “L… liar,” she coughed, her eyes misting over.

Chrysalis raised a brow. “About which part…? Oh of course, about Lily never existing. Always caring and noble, you are,” she scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “The first time you and I came here, after we devised the whole sleepover at Hop Along’s house idea, after you drank until I could practically hear your buzz, we came to this room. Just as we were about to culminate our relationship for the first time, you broke down crying.”

“The alcohol was addling your brain, I imagine,” Chrysalis continued with a huff. “You hugged me close and asked me, pleaded with me, to reassure you that I loved you for you, and not because you were rich or a princess. You told me you hated being a princess because everyone expected you to both be perfect, and be weak at the same time." She sighed dramatically, foreleg to her head as if a faint maiden in a cheesy play. "Everyone expected you to just be a mare in a castle tower, to just be the one that the knight saved from some monster, but never saved anyone or did anything for herself. You wanted, more than anything, to be a mare the people cared about for what you did and not who you were." She paced back and forth in front of the paralyzed mare with a gloating strut, her voice getting more sickeningly sweet. "You had never told anyone that before, and instead of getting intimate physically I held you all night and assured you that you would be great, that you would be remembered not as a princess but something more." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking down at Cadance with a scowl. "Look how that dream turned out.”

Cadance’s vision was long since blurred with tears. Through the pain in her chest and her hacking sobs, she managed to say, “Why?”

“Because you happen to be the most convenient at the moment,” she said, sitting down next to Cadance. “As I said, it’s nothing personal. Really, this is all about Shining. His unheard of mastery of shield spells is this city’s greatest defense, and my plans need him… preoccupied. I’ll take your place, and with a little hypnosis he’ll be completely useless. With so many friends of his in the royal guard attending the wedding, the city’s defenses will be at an all-time low to begin with. Your wedding is the perfect distraction.”

“And after the city has been ransacked… well.” Chrysalis grinned a wicked grin. “I’ll vanish, and they’ll find your mangled body below Canterlot. The blushing bride, committing suicide by jumping off the edge of Canterlot after her wedding, her city, her whole life has been ruined in a single, traumatic day." She sighed as if she savored the thought before her tone turned matter-of-fact. "With any luck, Shining will join you soon after. Canterlot will be in ruins, the two sweethearts of the year dead in a tragic pair of suicides, morale across the country at an all time low and panic at an all time high. From there, it’ll be easy pickings for my children and I.”

Cadance could barely see anymore. From her own tears or the poison or both, she couldn’t tell. The monster in front of her was just a miasma of black and green and aqua. “Please don’t hurt him,” she pleaded softly, her breath shallow and ragged. “Do what you want to me, but please don’t hurt him.”

The blur of the changeling’s head pulled back. “How touching,” she grumbled. “Faithful to the end, aren’t you? Sadly for him, it’s not up to you anymore. This time next week, you’ll be dead, and he’ll follow soon after.”

“Please don’t,” she begged with a soft whimper. “Leave him alone, please, I’ll do anything.”

“There’s nothing I need from you but for you to die, Princess,” Chrysalis said coldly. “The poison will last another few hours, but until I’m ready to throw you over the side of the city, I need you alive. I can’t have the coroner expecting foul play with a wrong time of death and cause of death, after all. You’ll be safe until then.”

Cadance made her best attempt at a snarl, as weak as it was. “I’ll starve myself. I’ll just lay down and die before I let you get away with this!”

“No, you won’t,” Chrysalis said with a chuckle. “You’ve always been a fighter. As long as you can delude yourself that there’s still hope, as long as there looks like there’s a chance, you’d never give up, even just to spite me. I’d bet my own life on that.”

Cadance whimpered and screwed her eyes shut, managing to yell through her burning chest, “I loved you; I trusted you! Didn’t any of it mean anything to you?!”

Chrysalis, the monster, Cadance’s soon-to-be-murderer, paused. “I’ll admit, as far as false romantic farces go, the one I had with you was… more enjoyable than many others,” she scoffed softly. “I think I’m even a little fond of you, in the way I might be fond of a dog or cat or some other clueless pet. But please, don’t flatter yourself. In the end, I was just covering my bases.” Her horn glowed green, and Cadance felt her cloak and her shorts slide off of her body. “Now, I’ll be needing these…” There was another flash of green, and a pink and violet blur replaced the tall black one, saying in Cadance’s voice, “You just sit back and behave. Where you’re going, nobody will ever find you.”

There was a flash and a crackle of green flames all across her vision, and when they were gone her vision was purely black. The floor beneath her was no longer carpet, but hard stone. There were no sound save for her own ragged sobbing and the echo of dripping water on rock. She was alone, paralyzed, in the stillness and the darkness as she cried.

“I can’t believe her!” came a frustrated cry as the front door slammed.

Shining Armor perked up from the couch and hopped off, cantering into the front room of their suit to see his fiancé angrily taking off her cloak. “What’s wrong, Cadance?” he asked. “Something go wrong with your friend?”

“Yes!” she groaned, hanging her cloak. “Oh sweet Celestia, yes! It was going pretty good at first, catching up and all after so many years, you know? Then she starts making jokes and I could swear she was making passes at me, but I thought it was all just in my head.” She pulled her shorts off and kicked them away with a stomp. “She asks if I want to go back up to her room to see her dress for the wedding, and being a good friend, I say yes. When I get up there, though, turns out that this was all just one big trick.”

“A trick?” he repeated, ears folding back.

“To get me to sleep with her!” she almost shrieked, nostrils and wings flared. “She was not over me, not by a long shot, and she was completely jealous that I’m tying the knot with anyone other than her. She had the nerve to try to get me to cheat on you while we’re engaged! I just… I can’t believe that stupid, dirty, conniving-”

“Cadance, Cadance, sweety,” he said softly, pulling her into a hug, “please calm down. I’ve never seen you this angry before. You’re scaring me!”

Cadance panted heavily, a hint of a growl in every breath. “I just… I…” She sighed and hugged him back, pulling him even closer. “I just really used to love her, you know? I thought she was still my friend, at least. I didn’t think she could ever do something like this. I should’ve known better; I shouldn’t have been so stupid,” she mumbled with a small sob, a tear falling on Shining’s shoulder.

“Don’t ever think you’re stupid, honey,” he said, nuzzling his cheek against hers. “You couldn’t have known. Some ponies change, you know? And love and jealousy can make ponies do crazy things. I know it seems bad right now, but maybe give it some time and don’t hold it against her, okay? You two used to mean a lot to each other, and it sounded like you had something special whenever you talked about her. I don’t want you two to end up hating each other.”

Cadance sniffled and nuzzled him back. “I’ll try. I’m still furious, though,” she admitted with a weak growl, pulling back to leg’s length. “She really did used to mean a lot to me, and now that it’s come to this… I’m not sure I’m going to get over it for a few days, or a while, really.”

“I understand,” he whispered, nudging his nose against hers with a sad smile. “I’ll ask the wedding staff to give you some space. I’ll just say that the stress is getting to you; they don’t need to know the details.” He sighed and stroked her mane with his hoof. “Please don’t let this ruin our special day, though. I couldn’t live with myself if I saw you unhappy on the altar.”

A small, loving smile found its way to Cadance’s face. “I won’t, dear. Promise.” She leaned in and kissed him softly, though only for a second; just long enough to make him blush. “I’m feeling exhausted right now, though, physically and emotionally. Can we go to our room and just cuddle for a while?”

Shining nodded, his face pink. “I’d love to. It sounds like you need it.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled, nuzzling her head against his neck as she trotted past him, practically dragging her hooves. “Come along, love.”

Shining grinned and did as he was bidden, cantering to catch up with her as she slipped into their chambers. He shut the door behind him… but didn’t notice the click of the lock.

Author's Note

~~No spoilers in the comments, now. I'll be keeping a close eye on that for the first... well, until this message disappears.~~

Alright folks, twenty-four hours is long enough. Talk and spoil away!