The chronicles of greg

by Windchester

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 1290

A life of Greg

Hello Mares and gentlecolts, Mostly mares. My name is Greg, And If you don't know me….. I swear I will jump out of this computer and Mareslap you across your dirty smug faces. But before I do that, Let me explain something to you. Before I came to equestia and bucked it up side ways with celesia's horn. And before meeting Lance Greenfield and the other bronies. I use to be a BadMofo. This is my story.(This is a branch of series of the story 'Living the dream' I 've been working on this for awhile and this is nearly a year old. So bad grammar)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-28 19:42:53 UTC

Stoners

Greg slowly open his eyes looked over at his right to see the picture of his ex-girlfriend, That died in a gang shoot out. Greg rembering the day like yestarday, He felt tears comming on but held them back. He picked up the picture and kissed it before setting it back down, Before slowly getting off his lazy ass an get to work. Greg slowly stumbled over to his two way closet, That was slightly broken,  and he forcefuly opened it, Only to find his favorite dark green jacket and blue jean. Greg had problems putting on his blue jeans, "Fuck This" Greg said getting alittle bit fustrated on forgetting to put on a pair of blue jeans. Greg put one hairy ass leg in and then another, finally he pulled up his pants and zipped them up. Greg kicked his dog, Weedie, After stepping in dog shit, And had to change his sock. Greg walked to the front door of his trailor and slipped into his wore out Air force one white with red/black colorway Nikes. Greg, Stepped back and lift up his right leg before shouting, "THIS IS SPARTA" And kicking the door open, And headed out the door too the back of his trailor to a small grey shed, With a dark red padlock on it. As Greg causly walks up to this shed he

remeber that funny ass youtube video, "Hey, Hey Hey stay outta ma shed" Greg said under his breath, Holding in alittle laugh on remebering about that video, But his best thoughts were ruin by his annoying ass nieghbor, A cat lady who owns 27 cats, And by the rolls on her stomach she wieghted more that 500 pounds, Kept ranting about how Greg keeps parking on her boundary of her trailor. And how shaggy his hair his, And the smell of his house makes her cats sick. Greg who has been fed up with this shit ever day for seven years. Greg didn't give a shit until that fat bitch said. "I'm glad your girlfriend dead, She was a thousand times worser that you." You can only bend a man so far, Making fun of his hair, His clothes, His mom. But when you fucking said something about his girlfriend, the girl who gave everything to spend every moment with him, Greg just lost it,  Greg stopped and turned to the cat lady and said "You know what bitch, I don't give a fuck what you say, you lazy ass peace of fat cat shit, Stupid motherfucker that eats fried chicken, So shut the fuck up you lard ass and get over her if you can and kiss my ass and see if i give a flying fuck." Greg extended his right hand forward, With his middle finger sticking up it the air and said, "Up yours bitch." Greg smirked and turned to began walking when he felt something heavy hit the back of his head, The damn cat lady through a frying pan and it collided on the back of Greg's head, "AHHHHHHHHHH FUCK YOU LADY" Greg said holding his painful throbing head and looking at the cat lady. Who went back into her trailor to tender her cats.

Greg slowly stood up, and walked up to the door of the shed and grabbed the padlock, "Damn it..... What the fuck whats the combo" Greg said talking to himself and "poundered for a secound and tried a diffrent combo, "3-28-5" Greg said mumbling to himself about his head fucking hurts like a bitch. There was a little click and the padlock open. Greg looked left then right, Before opening the hatch and stepping inside, And quickly shutting the door, Greg towards his attention to the his plants and said, "Hello my beautiful babies" Greg said to his weed plants and started naming them all in order, "Paradise,Purple,Freedom,Mr.green,quicky,Gate way,Green sugar." Greg stop at a weed plant that he received for Christmas and read the name, "Santa's little helper." Greg said as he picked up a small plastic bag that was right next to the plant filled with content. Greg was about to leave until he grabbed a plastic bag that was right next to island paradise, He put it in his pocket and left the shed and quickly closed the shed and lock it. Greg opened the island paradise bag and pulled out a blut, A put it in his mouth before putting both hands into his green jacket pockets and fished out a flipped lighter, He cupped on hand over the end of the blunt and light it from underneath so the damn wind wouldn't get to it. Once he finally got the damn thing to light he inhaled and exhaled and let the drug take full affect. Greg knowingly that he had a job to he stumbled over to his green 1971 ford f100 truck, The truck shows large spots of rust, And the once dark green coating has turned into a light green. But Greg still doesn't give a single fuck what anyone thinks, His dad gave him this car at the age of seven

before running off with some hooker. Greg got into his truck and turned the key..... Nothing happen, He turned the key and again nothing happening, "Come on you piece of shit." Greg said as he turned the key again only to hear nothing. "FUCK THIS SHIT!" Greg said after failing yet again to get his truck started, Greg raised his arm and brung it down on the dashboard. Since Greg was high off his ass he didn't feel any pain at the moment, And to be honest, Greg doesn't give a fuck if he broke his hand or not, He just wants to deliever the package before he gets his ass in trouble with the gang. Greg slammed his fist again into the dashboard while turning the key and the whole engine roared to life. Greg started to pull away from his house, When suddently the front on the truck when a little bit up and came back down, Followed by a scream of a cat, Suddently Greg looked over at his left only to see a pissed off cat lady screaming, "SNOWWBALLLLLL!!!!!" Greg smile to himself and drove over the cat with his rear tires, But stopped and reversed and back over the damn cat twice before getting the hell out of there.Greg turned to his favorite station, 104.7, And started jamming. But suddently, As if god was punishing him, That damn song came on the radio, "I know you love me, I know you care........." Greg of course at this moment was pounding his head on the steering wheel trying to make the damn song stop. Greg grabbed the station knob and tried to turn the station, But the damn know broke off and all Greg was do is bash his head on the steering wheel, And pray to the weed gods to make it stop.

_

Greg's blunt was long gone and was feeling the munches taking over, Greg, Like a boss, Looked up at a billboard  that said, Taco bell 1-M. This set Greg over the edge. And push the pedal to the metal. Not giving a single fuck and doging cars, There was no way in hell Greg was going to miss, There new taco that ever one talks about, A Taco Supreme made with premium seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, diced juicy red ripe tomatoes, real cheddar cheese, topped with cool reduced-fat sour cream, in a shell made from Nacho Cheese Doritos Chips. To someone like Greg this was fucking heaven in a shell. And it sent his mouth watering. Greg saw the Taco Bell up ahead and did a