Your human and you - Gryphon half a chance

Your Human And You

Gryphon Half A Chance

Ch. 6

I forced open my eyes and stretched, wriggling. I'd fallen asleep in the wet spot, apparently, and dummy Dent was… where?

Okay, something was wrong: everything looked kind of weird, I was sleeping on my back, somebody had been screwing with my bed and not only was the ceiling further away than I remembered, but somebody had replaced my lacy curtains with… some sort of odd decoration?

"Wharrkk?" I exclaimed, then coughed and cleared my throat. "What on Equus is going on?" I squeaked, before holding my claws to my throat. What had happened to my voice!? With surprisingly loud footfalls, Dent appeared above me to peer down at me.

"I dunno, Mistress, you tell me."

"Dent, you're… huge!" I squawked. Then, almost as an after-thought, I added, "and you can talk!"

"Yeah, well, I don't plan on telling anyone. I don't exactly know what'll happen if they find out humans can talk. There's this thing called vivisection, and…"

"Wait, wait… how long have you been able to talk? It's not just… whatever happened here?"

Dent took a deep breath. "Mistress," he began, "I have no idea what happened this time, but before I came here, to your world, I could talk perfectly well, thank you. And then I couldn't. And then you… bought me."

As he leaned down towards me, reaching out his enormous hands, I shivered slightly, leaning away.

"Hey now, I just want to pick you up!"

"But you're… big. And scary."

A fleeting look of disapproval crossed his normally expressionless face. He paused for a moment, then shrugged. "So was your dad. And he did a lot worse than just pick me up."

"I… I know. I never really thought about it, it's just something we do to male humans to keep them out of trouble."

Dent shrugged his shoulders again, then gestured to his complete, and impressive, undercarriage. From my point of view, he could give a stallion a run for his money. "I got better, apparently. Shame you're too little to enjoy it, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, once I could look away.

"Sleepy head, haven't you noticed anything yet? Some huntress you'll grow up to be…"

He grinned like an idiot, then stood up straight, crossing his arms over his chest. I tilted my head, then took a long look at my surroundings.

The bed was huge… but compared to Dent, it was smaller than it had been before. I was smaller than I had been before. A lot smaller. Looking left and right, I finally cottoned on that there were upright bars on either side of my bed, and that the decoration up above me was a mobile.

With trepidation, I lifted up the thick, downy comforter. "What. The fluff."

Dent just nodded. "Yep. Come on, princess. I think somebody needs a change."

I hadn't so much been sleeping in the wet spot as… wetting the spot I'd been sleeping in. I was wearing a diaper, of all things, and it was soggy. Someone would pay.

"But… no, what? I don't… I haven't…"

Dent just lifted me up, ignoring my mewling cries, before taking me over to a large, padded table that, just the night before, had been my dresser. Right now, some douchenozzle had switched it. "You do and you have. Don't ask me why, just go with it. When I found myself in this land of talking ponies and gryphons, I just got on with it, and I had a lot more painful things to worry about than a rash, which I'm trying to stop you from getting. So stop fussing."

"But I don't need those… things, you dork!"

Dent mercilessly untaped the shameful article, removed it from my body, then held it up. "Evidence says otherwise. But hey, prove you're as housetrained as I am — and if we ever get things back to 'normal', you owe me that much at least — then I'll let you go without. During the day at least."

I growled. "You're dumber than that dweeb Dash and her dorky pony friends."

"I'm also bigger than you and deserve a little payback. So today, you're getting dressed in the biggest, pinkest, froofiest dress I can find."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"And if you bite or scratch me, I'll have you declawed."

Humans are the evilest, stupidest, smelliest, dorkiest, dweebiest brutes in Equus. Ever.

They're also vindictive monsters.

"How do you put up with this thing?" I whined, as the beast led me down the corridor on a leash. I clawed at the collar around my neck angrily. It was pink, with little silver bells in the shape of hearts on it, with the name "Snowbelle" on the tag. And it fit me. Whoever had done this would die by slow roasting over a small fire.

"Oh you get used to it. Especially when you have no damned choice," he added, grumbling low.

"I'm… sorry, Dent. I didn't know. You never told me."

"I couldn't, could I? First thing I find out after coming to in the desert is that I couldn't talk. Second thing was that somepony had removed… my…"

The pony in front of us stopped stock still. And the human holding her leash screamed.

"...clothes," Dent finished. "Sorry, sorry, I, uh… lovely weather we're having. Bit, uh, breezy…"

"Quite…" her voice was high and tight. She finally closed her mouth, then found the rest of her voice. "Quite alright, milord," the humaness said, turning around, her face going bright pink.

Milord?

The pony just stood there stupidly. I glared at it angrily, but the dumb creature just… stood there. I looked up at Dent. He looked sideways down at me, and almost imperceptibly nodded. Gathering what aplomb he could, we headed back to my — I guess his at the moment — bedroom.

"I should have remembered," he groaned. "God, I'm so stupid. Clothes!" He threw open my — his! — closet, and pulled out… the oddest collection of furs and fabrics I'd ever seen. "Oh wow, it's all here! All of it! Even my phone! Oh gosh my phone!"

To my utter amazement, he pulled an odd object — flat like a slate, shiny and perfect like a mirror, but dark and black — out from a pocket. It lit up as he did something to it. I squawked in surprise, and felt a little warmth between my back legs, and a lot of shame between my ears. I was no mewling chick! I was a fierce warrior! I stepped forwards, then shrunk back again as loud, raucous almost-music blared out of nowhere.

"This is awesome! And it's got a full charge! And… and no signal. Well fuck."

"Signal?" I croaked, clacking my beak nervously. "What is that thing?"

"It's… uh… do you have ways of talking to people a long way away? Anywhere in the world?"

"Y-yes, but…"

He snorted. "Yeah, but not like this. I get it. Whatever." He pocketed it inside some sort of dark outer jacket made of animal hide — damn, that was a good look for him. That sort of thing could really catch on, with gryphons. Ponies… not so much — then… kind of ruffled his feathers until he looked neat. And commanding. I felt a new, different warmth in my hindquarters that reminded me of… something. I shook my head. A confusing day all around, and we'd not even got to breakfast yet.

My tummy rumbled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mistress. Come on, let's get you fed." He scooped me up in his arms and strode purposefully down the corridors of my home — his home? — in search of the kitchen.

He was… not all bad, I suppose.

Actually I take that back. I will kill him, skin him, then use his hide for curtains.

"Come on, princess, nummy nummy num nums! You'll not grow big and strong if you don't drink your bottle!"

"Meat, now!" I growled. He took advantage of my beak opening to put the heavily chewable nipple in. Trying to spit it out only got the bottle's contents over my beak and down my head, which he washed off expertly with a damp cloth.

"Not going to work, princess. I used to babysit my cousins. I never was that good with diapers, but you wriggle a lot less, so I hope you're good in that area," he said, with a pat.

Once I'd finished the bottle because the meanie pants was merciless and not at all because it was warm, sweet, tasty and filling, I glared at him. "Meat."

"Okay, but only because you've been good. And only if you burp."

"Only if I whaa-aaaaarrrrppppp!" I opened my beak wide in shock as he held me against his broad shoulders and patted my back.

"There, such a fussy little kitten."

"With claws," I hissed, in his ear. He was, however, as good as his word. He put me down in a padded playpen with a bowlful of freshly diced meat whilst he scouted out the territory. The meat tasted like... well, we're not supposed to know what pony tastes like, so the less said the better, but it tasted like what I expected pony would taste like. Which was worrying.

Shaking, I looked up from my dangerous meal and glanced warily around the room. Humans were everywhere, passing through, chatting, cleaning… it was like they were… people. And the few ponies I saw were always on leashes, eating out of troughs or nosebags or…

Whack. Thump.

In an adjacent room, I saw a chef-human bash a pointed metallic bullet into the head of an oblivious pony. It went down without a sound, twitching. One quick slice later, and red blood was flowing into an oversized bucket. With alarming efficiency, the body of the pony was denuded of hooves, tail, head and finally hide, before having its entrails pulled out and a sluice of water run over it to clean the rest of it off.

The humans were almost gryphonic in their neatness. A world where humans are gryphons, and gryphons are humans? And ponies are just… meat?

This is what Dent sees, said a treacherous little voice in my head. All the time. Every day. He sees his kind slaughtered, prepared, cooked and eaten. You saw him when you had that suckling human cub last moon, didn't you? You tried to ignore how upset he was, how he didn't want any of it despite normally eating from your claws…

Oh, Dent… this was so much worse than Dash and her dumb pony friends. So much worse. Wait… Dash… was she just a pretty hide or something wurst in this world?

What about Daddy!?

"Dent!" I hissed, as he reappeared, "Dent please! Please! We have to go see—"

"Shh," he hushed, a worried look on his face, before picking me up and heading to a private nook. "What's up Mistress?" he asked, once he made sure we were alone.

"I have to see Daddy! I have to! Do… do they eat gryphons? They eat ponies here!"

"Woah, woah, it's okay, he's okay. They don't eat gryphons here, it's like my world. We don't eat predators very often. Their meat is bad."

"Is this... where you're from?" I asked. To think his world was… like mine, right down to the house!

"Oh, no, I'm from… well, a long way away… but this place is similar. We eat ponies there too sometimes. I thought this might be some other country in my world at first, but… there are still pegasi and unicorns here. And you, of course." he nuzzled my beak like Daddy used to when I was little, then smiled a little sad smile at me. "There aren't any of those where I'm from." He seemed so sad.

"Do you miss your home?" I asked. He nodded.

"I do. I love you, Mistress, and despite everything, you've been kind, but I miss home. I had so hoped…" he sighed. Then he brightened. "But I can help you. Come on, you want to see your Dad? Well, don't say I didn't warn you, but you might not like what you see."

I opened my beak wide in worry. "I-is he okay?"

"Oh, he's fine, he's just… just hush now, you'll see."

I did see. Outside were more humans and more ponies… and more gryphons. And further out the back, away from the crowds, was a large stable. And in the stable was a single, proud, haughty looking gryphon, his feathers and fur shining in the sun. His halter was brightly waxed, and his gait was proud. And his eyes were completely empty.

"Best I can figure, he's… still your father. He's a stud. By all accounts, an award-winning champion breeder."

There was a nervous cough from behind us. Dent straightened, then turned, smiling brightly. "Yes, Sharon?"

"Milord Gryphon… is everything okay?"

"Oh yes, yes, perfectly fine," Dent replied. "Just showing little Snowbelle her father. She's going to grow up to be a beauty, don't you think?" He held me out. I growled and hissed.

"Oh, of course, milord. Gryphon Keep does produce the best in racing gryphons."

Dent kept smiling. Then, a moment later, added, "you're dismissed, Sharon. Good work, I'm proud of all of you."

'Sharon' curtsied — giving such names to humans! How bizarre! — and disappeared.

"Gryphon keep?" I asked.

"Apparently I raise the best racing gryphons in the world. Of which you are sure to become the best of the best of the best. All the cocks—" he choked, suddenly red in the face. A very strange human, my Dent, "—you could want. You sure you want to get this all back to normal?"

"Of course I do, dorkbreath!" I said. "Living like this, it's… demeaning!"

"Guess there's nothing for it, then," he replied, coldly. Oh guano.

"I… didn't mean it like that."

"I know."

"Of course, you should… go home too if you could… and I don't mind that you can talk, and…"

"Just leave it, silly beak," laughed Dent. "Let's just go find out what happened. You think this has happened everywhere?"

I tapped my beak thoughtfully with a claw. "I know one pony who might know exactly what's happening. If she's still got her smarts like I have. And if anypony does, she does."

"Who?"

"Twilight Sparkle."

"Who!?"

.oOo.

"Let me get this straight," Dent asked, as he fussed above me.

"Must you?" I grumbled, trying not to meet his eye.

"Oh hush, I've seen it all before," he admonished, and kept on cleaning my fur with a cool, damp cloth. "You've got big cities, newspapers, a passable excuse for television… and medieval castles, dragons and dangerous monsters. And steam trains like this one," he said, ignoring my protests.

"What do you mean?" I huffed, crossing my claws over my chest.

He finished taping up a new diaper, rolled up the old one, then slam-dunked it — amazing humans could do that without magic or flight — into a trashcan. "Not to mention disposable diapers. I half expected you guys to have, like… uh… rags or something."

"Rags!?" I exclaimed. "What kind of backwards bizarro world do you come from?"

"Aww, who's a fussy little kitten, huh? Who needs a nap?" He picked me up and held me close, wrapping my body in the loose, large carrying cloth he called a kanga. Which apparently made him a kangaroo, whatever that meant. The idiot had laughed himself silly over it anyway.

"'M not sleepy!" I protested, then yawned, horrified to find a little mewl come out at the end of it.

"Uh huh. Well even if you don't need a nap, I do. Looking after you is exhausting. And you're way too small and pretty to go wandering around alone. Somepony might steal you."

I glared at the shut door of our carriage. Good point. I burrowed deeper into the kanga.

"D'you think I'll ever get back home again?" I asked, eyes closed.

"I dunno. Will I?" He was silent for a while. I thought he might have fallen asleep, but then he spoke again. "Is this train like in your world? It's a lot like mine."

"Really?" I asked, yawning until I cheeped. "Yeah, this is the same. It's all the same. It's like somebody took my world, fiddled with a few details, then put it back wrong."

He chuckled. "Same here, kitten. Hey, do you think we've got enough diapers and baby formula?"

"Augh! Why'd you even bring them!" I complained.

"Says the kitten who's used half a pack already."

"I have n— have I?" I peered out from my nest, searching around our cabin. Sure enough, a half-empty pack of "Desert Dawg's Li'l Dreamers" sat next to us.

"Well they're too small to fit me, kitten," replied Dent, a smirk on his heavily lidded face. I pouted at him. "Oh relax, it's the curse. Or whatever. Besides, little bit like you, it's a lot easier on me this way. When you wake up in the middle of the night and need a bottle, I don't have to go far. It'd be easier still if you were bigger, but then we'd not need this whole trip, would we?"

"Augh I hate you! How can you be so calm when everything is just… just..."

He just smiled a tight little smile. "Fussy kitty. Come on, I wanna sleep. Tell you what, you go explore our cabin as much as you want if you're really not tired."

He unceremoniously dumped me out of my warm nest. I squawked indignantly, doubly so when he patted me on my well-padded tush, then waddled out of swat range to go explore. It was like the games we'd used to play before… before Dash moved away. Hide n' seek in the most mundane of places when you're kid is… magical. Everything was super big, even the seats were so high that getting up on them was an effort. Scrabbling, heaving my padded waist up, I rolled head-over-heels and almost slammed my beak into the glass of the window. The world outside sped past quickly as I clambered up to look. It made me think of… happier times. Before. With Dash. Before she left. And now I was going to meet here, again, of my own free will… even after what had happened last time.

After a while of clouds, mountains, goats and trees whizzing past, I got bored. I scampered back to my warm nest, cuddling up with Dent as he pulled me closer. I rubbed myself against him. My eyes were wet with… dust, or something. Stupid Dent.

.oOo.

"Last stop o' the evenin'! Manville! I repeat, last stop! Eeeeeeverybody out!"

With loudly resounding clanks, the train came to a halt. I fussed as Dent gave my behind a quick pat to check how full my diapers were, snuggling closer. The night air was cool and I wanted none of it. Then I felt him stand up straight, collect our luggage, and head out of the train.

"Shh, princess, just sleep," he whispered.

"Dun wan' s'eep," I mumbled, struggling a little, but I couldn't fight it. I drifted in and out of consciousness as the pleasant torch-lit darkness of Manville — what a dumb name. Even dumber that Ponyville — surrounded us.

"I'm sure there's somewhere we can stay. they must have some sort of… motel or something. Oh, hey, I think I see a light… wait, is that a tree!?"

Oh no, oh no, anywhere but—

My silent lamentation was cut short by his knocking, and the bottom half of a two-part door opening to reveal a dweeby little dragon.

"If you've come to return a book, please don't… please don't. Twi'll make me put it back." He rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"I… a library made out of a tree? A tree… with books inside it. I'm not sure if that's ironic or deep," Dent said. "Look, we're in need of a place to stay, and I saw the light, and…"

"Who is it?" called a masculine voice from inside the library. "If they've got a book—"

"They don't have a book!" the dragon shouted desperately. Then he whispered, "if you do, just… say you don't."

"Then what do they want?"

"A place to stay!"

"Oh, uh…" footsteps came closer, human footsteps.

"Let me put it this way," Dent said, "you're not feeling quite yourself, right?"

"You could say something like that," said a human male, weakly. His hair was purple with a violet and pink streak.

"You're Twilight Sparkle?" Dent asked, confused.

The man nodded, then coughed. "Sorry, I'm a little hoarse… Right now, I'm better known as Dusk Shine, I guess. And I'm normally a unicorn. Or sometimes an alicorn."

Dent just dropped his bags. "You're a pony. Of course you are. Why wouldn't you be. Well, I'm always a talking human. Except when I'm not. And this bundle of fluff is Gilda. She's normally a lot bigger."

Fingers gently peeled back the kanga. "You're a lot cuter when you're not ruining one of Pinkie's parties, you know." Dusk was silent for a moment, then he looked left and right, and nodded, seemingly to himself. "You'd better come in, we've been waiting for you."

Twilight's — albeit Dusk, or something, at the moment — treehouse looked just the same as it had last time I'd stormed out. Only a lot bigger. With her being an alicorn — seriously? When had that happened? — I'd expected she'd be living in some sort of shining crystal castle or something like the rest of those royal blowhards. Then again, the nerd always loved her books. She'd only give up living in this dumb treehouse if the whole thing burned down… and as crazy as Ponyville was, I didn't see that happening any time soon.

Heh. As if.

"Okay, I don't care," said Dent. "I just wanna go to sleep. The couch is fine."

"Oh, don't be stupid, we have a guest bedroom—" Dusk began.

"Is it upstairs?" Dent countered. Dusk nodded. "Then I'll take the couch. Unless that's upstairs too?" Dusk shook his head. "Good. Lead the way. A pillow, a blanket… I'm used to a lot less right now, you wouldn't believe the last few months I've been having."

"We have our suspicions, but nothing definite…" Dusk began. I tuned them out. Hating naps or not, I was tired of the trip too. It took a frighteningly short time before darkness claimed me.

.oOo.

"...Shh shh shh, it's okay, don't fuss li'l Gus," said a voice, interfering with my slumber. "Or should that be Gus-ess? Only that doesn't rhyme. Hmm."

Even as more of a baritone, I knew the owner of this voice. Opening my eyes, I came face to beak with what just had to be Pinkie. And he was cuddling me in his arms.

"Oooh's a widdle monster, hmm? Ooh is? Ooh is!"

I snapped at him, barely missing the dangling fingers.

"Careful," interjected Dent, sleepily, "she's a bit of a biter. Or a pecker."

"I help around Scotch's. Every so often we get a gryphon chick… I know just how to deal with 'em! Whoosh! Tickle tickle tickle!"

I squawked out giggling as he so unfairly applied his fingertips to my belly. I couldn't help it, squirming to get away just didn't work.

"She piddles too, so watch it." Dent added. I shot him an angry glare, but he just grinned from his nest on the sofa.

"And the Cake's have me… have me… uh… apparently I foalsit. I also changed her just after I fed her, so she's all clean!"

"You remember being… Pinkie?" I asked, before my brain caught up on the other points I was supposed to be mad at him about.

"Not really, but I don't worry about it. Dusk'll get it sorted out. He says we've been waiting for some seventh imminent or something…"

"That's element, Berry," said Dusk's voice as the front door opened, "and I don't understand it because there are only six. Come on Scotch, we'll need you too."

"B-but I… you s-said it was Gilda? I… don't want to. I need to wash my bear."

"Butterscotch, we need to get this sorted out! Washing your bear indeed…"

"B-but I do! He's so dirty!"

There was a roar from outside — not an angry one, more a question. I craned my head to look out the window, and sure enough, there was a bear… in a poncho.

"It's okay, Harry, you just run along now. I'll give you your bath later."

"Does he talk too?" I asked, raising a few eyebrows.

"Barely," replied Butterscotch, nodding.

I opened my mouth to retort, when more humans started filing in. I started feeling rather… scared. All these strangers…

"Come on li'l bit, back to Dada," whispered Berry diplomatically, as he set me down on Dent's lap. I found myself scooching down into his lap as tightly as I could, shivering, as around my island of sanctuary appeared more and more faces. Was this, again, what it was like for Dent?

"Oh, ohh… she is r-rather cute," said Butterscotch. "Can't we keep her like that?"

"Actually I'm not sure what'll happen to… all this," replied Dusk, waving his arms about. "My Magic Resonance Imager says this is a meta-stable alternate universe almost exactly like our own. When we leave it, it might all snap back to how it should be with us all ponies again… or it might carry on with the us who are meant to be here staying in it. It's Chaos magic that's got us into this mess... so Scotch, is Eris going to help?"

"Or better yet, explain herself?" complained a blue-haired boy.

"Blitz, calm yourself," said a man in an immaculate suit. "I am sure Dusk will get everything sorted forthwith."

"Easy for you to say, Elusive, you can still do magic. I can't fly, I have to walk on these two… things. And I have dangly bits. Ugh. You have no idea how difficult it is to sit dow… okay, you probably do I'll shut up now." Blitz tailed off as Elusive glared at him primly.

Okay, that was Dash and Rarity. And that leaves Applejack as the muscular guy in a hat and not very much else. Figures.

"So we're all here, all except her." muttered Dusk, crossing his arms and glaring at Butterscotch, who gave an apologetic little squeak as he shrugged his shoulders. Before I could ask 'her who', a very pastel pink woman in an odd flat little hat and lots of flowing ribbon-like robes that were more climbing apparatus than clothing (especially around her bare midriff), complete with almost entirely see-through leggings, appeared in the centre of the room. Inside a very large puff of pink smoke.

"Good morning master!" twittered the woman brightly, as she threw herself upon him.

"Eris," moaned Butterscotch, as they collapsed in a heap on the sofa, "I'm not your master!"

"Does that mean I can unleash my phenomenal cosmic powers upon Manville like I used to before I moved into your itty bitty place?"

"His place isn't that itty bitty," grumbled Blitz in the background.

"No!" 'Scotch said, apparently having problems breathing. This was probably due to Eris' roving hands.

"Pity… oh, my master is so tense this morning! Let me give you a massage!" she said, and she leaned in and began nibbling on his ears.

"Ahem!" Dusk said impatiently. "Eris, we've talked about this. Please stop teasing 'Scotch, he'll be incoherent for the rest of the week if you don't."

"Oh you're no fun. He is though. Or will be, later. Tonight. When I find the special box of toys."

I noticed with some amusement how Butterscotch was slowly turning pinker than Eris' clothing.

"Who is that?" I chirped up. "And why do we need her here if she's just going to make that guy pass out from blood loss to the brain?"

Instantly, Eris fixed her gaze on me. I shrank back from it's power. "Oh, my, my, my, what do we have here?"

"She's my gryphon, lady, and if you hurt her I'll break you," growled Dent. "Who the hell are you and what do you want?"

"Oh I don't want much, just a little fun, you can be certain of that."

"Ain't nothing certain in this life but death and taxes," Dent quipped, "so which are you?"

"Well, I have many forms," Eris replied, smiling pertly then sticking her tongue out. "And one of them might have accidentally possibly maybe sometime somehow had a teensy little bit of a part in bringing you here. Both of you."

"You?" I squawked. "I doubt it. Who in hades are you?"

"Oh, I'm Eris, little chick," the woman replied, instantly inches from my beak. "Empress of chaos. I can do anything. Why, I once started a war that lasted for decades… with an apple. They raised no temples to me, when I dwelled in the land of young…" she paused only momentarily, her eyes flashing, "Dent here, but everyone knew my name. I was loved, feared, adored… even the others of my kind trod lightly in my presence."

"And you're incredibly sweet and kind and we would all absolutely love it if you could help us fix things? Please?" asked Scotch, his eyes going wide and bright, "Pretty please?"

Eris turned, and the fight went out of her. "Oh all right. You never let me have any fun."

I blinked. "Can you, uh, put me back to normal then?" I asked.

"Oh, easy peasy," Eris replied, as she crossed her arms, screwed up her eyes and nodded.

"Oh, no, wait, wait, wa—" Dusk began, but was cut off.

There was a burst of pink smoke and Strange place help no where home father gone bad people! Hiss! Claw! Climb! Fly! No sky! Want out! Where and then the smoke cleared and Eris had a contrite expression on her face.

"What?" she asked, "I gave her exactly what she asked for!"

"What… what am I doing up here?" I asked, looking around the bookshelf I found myself perched on. Below me were a pile of books and scrolls. I fluttered down to land in an unceremonial heap on the floor. Dent picked me up, then patted my padded backside comfortingly. And to check on my 'status'. Ugh.

"Eris… turned you back to normal, for this universe," Dusk explained.

"Which was what she asked for!" Eris complained, pouting.

"But not what she wanted. You know what you've done — this world isn't ours. We all want back to our own universe."

"I… want back to a different one from… uh… are you guys all from the universe Gilda's from?" Dent asked.

"Which Gilda," interjected Eris. "Dusk Shine is normally a pony named Twilight Sparkle… unless he's a stallion named Dusk Shine. Or a dragon named Topaz Dream. Or a gryphon. Or a human girl… and Gilda's a world famous racing gryphon, or a human, or a gryphon who fell out with her old friend Dash. None of you are where you should be, and all of you belong here. So…"

"So first of all, what did you do to the elements of harmony?" Dusk growled, crossing his arms.

"Nothing," replied Eris, before she caught sight of Scotch's expression and wilted. "Oh alright. I added a new one. Behold, the Element of Umami, yada yada tadaa poof."

I felt something heavy appear around my neck. It was 'my' collar that we'd left back at home, but with some sort of broach on it featuring a bowl of… soup?

"What," replied Dusk flatly.

"Look, I'm sorry. I thought it would be hilarious. There'd be some monster from some place all whoosh flame roar and then you guys'd get together and waa waa, nothing happens, then poof I'd come in and save the day with the missing element and then… you'd… uh… all… kinda like me a bit more and… uh…"

Was she blushing?

"Only it didn't quite work like it was supposed to, huh?"

Eris shrugged, smiling weakly, "Chaos magic. Sometimes it just… eh."

"Oh come here, pumpkin," said Scotch, and he pulled Eris into a hug. "We all love you and forgive you. Now… if you could just undo what you did, then we can all go home, right guys?" There was a mumbled half-hearted chorus of assent. And then Scotch glared. I don't know what he did, but it made everybody stand up straighter, give each other nervous glances, then loudly proclaim agreement.

"See? Everything's fine. No harm done."

"I… get to go home?" I asked. "I mean, to my home, with Daddy and everything back to the way it was? W-with Dent?"

Dent held up a hand, "Wait, if we're all going home… then I really want to go to my home."

Suddenly my stomach felt very cold, small and hard. "You… you don't want to c-come home? With me?"

Dent's eyes fixed on mine as he picked me up and turned me around. "Gilda, this isn't my world. That world wasn't my world either. My world is… my world. I want to go home too, to my home. And I can't take you with me. I can't do to you what you did to me."

"But… but…" I said, choking back sobs. "I l-love you…"

Dent shook his head. "You love a pet. As a pet. I'm a human, this type of human. Your world… I don't know, I could grow to like it, in some ways… but not as a pet. As I am, your world is horrific. I was tortured, beaten, mutilated, raped and treated like… like a toy. I love you too, Gilda, but not enough to be your toy. I want to go home, where I have dignity and freedom. Eris, please send me to my world."

"Oh alright. When I dissolve the seventh element, all this will cease to be. You'll go back where you belong. I don't know quite what you were doing in her world, but… if you've had enough, then I guess I can send you home. If you give me a kiss."

"Eris…"

"A peck on the cheek? Oh, alright. A hug then."

"I can do a hug," snorted Dent, and he put me down… and strode over to Eris, giving her the biggest hug I'd ever seen. I couldn't help it, I started bawling. He was my human! Mine! And I was losing him and I'd never see him again and everything was going wrong and I was so far away from home and Daddy was in a stall and, and, and…

And suddenly, Dent was hugging me again, holding me tight. "It's okay, princess," he said, softly, kissing my beak. "It's okay. I'll always love you. You always treated me well, always… but I can't take you back to my world, you'd die alone a million miles from anything familiar. And that's why I can't go with you either. Because I'm alone. So very, very alone. And as shitty as my world can get… it's home. Please forgive me. Eris, do it."

"Everypony hold on," said Eris, as she crossed her arms, screwed up her eyes and blinked—

Please don't go Dent, please no, Dent, please stay, please, I love you Dent. Don't go Dent! Stay Dent, Dent, Dent—