The room felt big. Its size was not spectacular, but its emptiness and the white wall, ceiling and floor gave an impression of space. There was a single white bed in the center of the room. A window with white curtains could be found next to it. The door, which could be found on the other side of the room, was brown, like it had to be more visible than anything else in the room, more visible than the bed itself.
On the bed was a dark grey mare. She was awake, and was staring at the beautiful blue sky through the window with an empty look. Her left front leg was covered by bandages, but no blood was to be seen. More bandages were on her forehead, her neck and her back. She didn't seem to suffer from physical pain, though. She sighed deeply and took a look at the door.
Her mind was still unclear. She had no idea why she was there, why she had all those bandages, and only wanted to get out of the hospital, take a shower and go take a nap. She was awfully tired, even though the sky showed it was around midday.
Some noise in the corridor interested her, but it seemed it was not for her. She went back looking at the sky, waiting. She was waiting for answers. The answers of all the questions she had in mind.
More noises in the corridor. She disregarded them for a while, until she realized the door to her room was opened. She quickly turned her head towards the door, causing pain to rush down her back and her neck. She cringed in pain and slowed the pace of her movement.
« Hold on, Lady Octavia. You're still hurt from the accident, you shouldn't be moving this fast already. »
A doctor and a nurse entered the room. The nurse had a cart with some food, along with a few papers.
« Hi Doctor » said Octavia, still looking in pain from her violent movement. She sounded angry and it was visible she was restraining herself.
« Before we talk, there's a letter for you. It's from the Princess. »
Octavia was about to ask all her questions, but she soon stopped upon hearing she received a letter from the Princess herself. Why would the Princess write to me ? The doctor opened the letter and she read, silently :
« Dear Lady Octavia
I am deeply sorry for the incident during the concert, yesterday. You'll be pleased to learn your dear Cello didn't suffer any damage and is currently waiting for you at the castle, under my own care. I can't wait to see you there to take it back with you.
I, however, have a request I would like you to accomplish first.
I know all of the musicians at the concert suffered injuries in the accident. I am aware of every single scratch you all received because of that incident. Because of this, I would like for you to go to Ponyville and take some time off. I told my student, Twilight Sparkle, you would be coming and she probably arranged everything for you to stay already. I know that town isn't as sophisticated as Canterlot, however I believe you should get away from here for some time, to recover. Ponyville is a very friendly town, and everypony there will be nice to you, especially since you're The Lady Octavia, very famous Cello player at the Grand Canterlot Orchestra. You may recognize some of the ponies who will be in charge of welcoming you there, as I believe you already met them in last year's Grand Galloping Gala.
I hope you can recover fast and you can get back to us soon.
Truly yours,
Princess Celestia »
Octavia threw the letter away with rage. The request was given out like an order and she probably didn't have the choice, but she still had questions.
« First, can you explain to me what in the world happened that put me here in Canterlot's hospital, and explain to me why... »
« Oh, that. Actually, two days ago, you were giving a concert, with the Orchestra, at the concert Hall. For some reason, half of the building collapsed and fell on the musicians. There were no dead, but you all suffered severe injuries. Most of the instruments were destroyed as well. It was a real disaster and... »
« THAT is not what I really want to know » said Octavia, looking angrily at the doctor.
« You asked me what happened... »
« You didn't let me finish my questions. I was about to ask about THIS. »
Octavia pointed to the bandages on her body with the tip of her nose.
« Well you had half a building fall upon you head, it's normal that you have to... »
« THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS SHOWING ! »
Octavia stared at the doctor. Tears began flowing from her eyes.
« EXPLAIN WHY I CAN'T MOVE MY LEFT FRONT LEG ?! »
The doctor avoided her stare. She was openly crying and tried to grab the doctor's vest with her valid hoof.
« HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE CELLO NOW ? »
« You simply can't anymore »
The violence of that truth shut Octavia's mouth as she continued to cry. She knew it, but hearing it from a doctor, that bluntly, hurt a lot more than one would think. She silently lowered her head and stared at her invalid hoof, still crying. She was somehow hoping for the doctor to say it was temporary and just the result of some heavy shock on her head, and that it shouldn't last too long, but she knew well it was just a dream. As she lowered her ears, the doctor felt some pity for her. He knew he couldn't come close to imagining the pain she was going through.
« Do you know if I'll be able to play again... sometime ? »
Octavia asked this with a very silent voice, even more silent than Fluttershy's, unable to say out loud the little hope she had left, which she knew would be crushed as soon as the Doctor answered. However the Doctor knew exactly was she was going to say and had no problem understanding her question despite her lack of energy. The problem was about the answer. He knew that whatever kind of answer he would choose, he would destroy the little hope she still had about her being able to play again someday.
« To be honest, Lady Octavia, nopony knows. We don't even understand why you suddendly can't move your hoof. We need to run some tests on you before we let you go to Ponyville. And... you could get the control of the hoof back tomorow, like you could never get it back. I'm sorry. »
Octavia didn't answer and turned her head back to the window and the sky. She somehow didn't want to show how much she was crying, though both the Doctor and the Nurse already knew. She was wishing she had been crushed in that incident, just like the Doctor just crushed her little hope.
« We will be conducing the tests later today. Meanwhile, I suggest that you eat something and get a bit of rest. The tests might be very hard for you to do. »
« Thank you Doctor »
Octavia just replied out of politeness. She was still Lady Octavia and had to act polite and dignified. The Doctor was not responsible for the incident and her disability and she had no reason to be mean to him. He left the room with a smile. Octavia could feel the smile up to her spine. It was the kind of smile you usually give to people who are about to die.
That's right, Octavia thought. I'm dead now. What's the meaning of my life if I can't play the Cello anymore ?
She didn't move from watching the window since then, for about half an hour. The nurse had been waiting without saying a word next to the door, with her cart and the food, ever since the doctor left. She was not sure if she should ask Octavia to eat or if she should let her think a bit more. Getting a bit worried about the work she had left to do, she finally decided to speak and cleaned her throat. Octavia did not turn her head to the nurse but raised her ear to show she was listenning.
« You should eat a little, Lady Octavia. »
« I'm not hungry. »
« The tests might be physically exhausting. »
« I'll be fine. Thanks for showing concern. What are you going to test on me ? »
« We already ran some exams on you while you were unconcious, mostly scanners. The results show no injuries at all, except a few scratches on the head and the back. We are going to check how much of your body you can't control anymore this afternoon as we could not do that while you were unconcious... »
« I see. Thanks. »
The nurse left the cart near the bed and left the room, with the same smile that the doctor had earlier. The news was bad. At least a broken bone in the leg could explain why she could not move it, though she'd know if she had broken bones due to the pain.
But she was feeling nothing. She felt like she had no forehoof, like her left foreleg stopped at the third articulation. When she touched it with her valid leg, she didn't feel the touch in the left leg. It was as if it were a piece of cloth, something attached to her body that didn't belong to her.
Far from the intense sadness she had been feeling since she woke up in the morning, she now felt absolutely nothing, just like her forehoof. Her mind was as blank as her flank was when she was born. She took a look at her cutie mark with a look between anger and sorrow.
« Useless cutie mark now » she said. « I can't play music anymore. »
She stared at it some more, almost sure it would suddendly disappear. She was actually wishing for it. Seeing her Cutie Mark was becoming a pain to her, something that reminded her of the happy times she had with her dear Cello, that cello that was with her since she got that stupid Cutie Mark.
Forgetting it, she turned back to the sky, well aware of her condition. The sky was turning grey, like it wanted to fit her mood. She avoided the sad color by lying down in the white bed and closing her eyes. She didn't want to sleep. She knew there was no way she could sleep. She just wanted to avoid the sadness the weather was bringing upon Canterlot. She had enough sadness in her for now, she didn't need the help of those unicorns or pegasi who decide about the weather in this town. She knew well she was falling into a heavily depressed state, and knew exactly how she would be behaving until the depression left her. If it left her at all. Losing the control of her hoof was worse than death for her.
She focused her thoughs on Celestia's letter, especially Ponyville, trying to avoid the sad thinking about her leg and about her condition, though any single movement of her body would remind her of that uncontrollable left hoof. She knew she could have chosen not to go there, but she knew as well that Celestia was aware of her disability and that she was probably the most reliable Pony about the best places in Equestria for recovering. That was probably the exact reason she was being sent to Ponyville. That name was ringing a bell to her but she couldn't remember why. She was just hoping she would end up in a quiet and very calm town, where she could just be left alone, waiting for her hoof control to come back to her.
A knock on the door made her open her eyes. She didn't know if she fell asleep or not, but she was feeling like she did. Her neck hurt, her thoughts were unclear and her movement sluggish. She stared at the door, until a second knocking made her answer.
« Come in. »
A dark blue unicorn stallion entered the room. His mane was very light, almost white, combed like those arrogant rich ponies she often met at concerts. He was tall, intimidating, and seemed very confident. His Cutie Mark was a brain. A paper and a feather were floating next to him thanks to his magic. She grimmaced as she tried to sit on the bed.
« Don't force yourself uselessly, Lady Octavia. I will ask you to lie down again. »
« You're the psychologist I guess ? » said Octavia while she finished sitting.
« Yes. Call me Fred. Does your back hurt ? »
« Of course it does. » Octavia was quite pissed at that unicorn's presence. She didn't need anypony like this. « Not only the back, but my neck, my head, my hooves... Even my mane hurts. Oh wait, there's a part of my body that doesn't hurt. Because I don't feel it anymore. »
She restrained a sudden sadness and stared angrily at the unicorn. That last sentence was not a good idea. The unicorn noted something on his paper and looked Octavia in the eyes.
« I imagine you know why I am here ? »
« And I imagine you know I don't want nor need to see you ? »
« You're not the one who decides if you need to see me or not, Lady Octavia. In fact, even if you refuse it, you do need to see me. »
« That's what you all say. I don't want to see you, so please get out of this room quickly. »
The unicorn noted something again, then looked at the bed.
« I see you can still act polite even in your condition. »
« I know when to behave and when to relax. »
« Keeping your manners while being depressed is very hard, Lady Octavia. »
« Oh please, Doctor, what do you think I am ? I am no unicorn, I am a strong-minded Earth Pony. What makes you think I'm depressed ? I am fine. I am worried for my hoof, that's all. Now I request that you leave at once. »
« Your lifelong passion has come to an end suddendly due to a random accident and you think you're fine ? »
Octavia opened her eyes wide for a second and turned her head, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth. That was a direct attack. That Fred was probably trying to get her angry or to make her cry. But she was not going to let her guard down. After a few minutes without saying a word to calm down, she turned back to the doctor.
« Last time I request for you to leave the room. Next time I call the nurses and they will buck you out. » she said, a lot more angrily than when Fred first arrived.
« You know they know I am here and that I am allowed to be here ? »
« But no matter how much of a doctor you may be, if you disturb a patient, the nurses will buck you out. You are disturbing me so please leave or I will call the nurses. »
« Fine. You also probably know that if I say so, you will need to see a psychologist regulary ? »
« But you also know that I will not go even if you say so. »
The doctor gritted his teeth, looking pissed.
« Alright, Lady Octavia. I will make my leave now. Sorry I bothered you, and I hope you get better soon. »
Fred noted a few more things on his paper and left the room. Octavia sighed after the door was closed. She looked at the sky, hoping to see the same beautiful blue as it was showing when she woke up, but it was now raining. She didn't even have time to curse the pegasi for bringing up that weather as another knock could be heard.
« What now ? » said Octavia, low. « Come in ! »
It was the Doctor, along with the same nurse as in the morning.
« Good afternoon, Lady Octavia. I see you sat up. Did the psychologist pass by ? »
« Good afternoon Doctor. He did pass by and I hope I will not see him again. »
« Sorry about that. We passed earlier today but you were sleeping, so we though it would be best to wait a bit for you to wake up. Sleep is important in recovering from injuries. »
« Oh, I did fall asleep then ? Thanks for not waking me up... I probably needed that nap. »
« Are you ready for the tests ? »
« I guess I am... »
« Good. I think you already know, but we are going to test how much of your body you can't move, and how much of your body you have difficulties controlling. Here, try to follow this object. »
The doctor moved a penlight in front of Octavia's eyes. She first followed it with her eyes, then with her full head. The doctor had her move her ears in every way they could, then open and close her mouth as well. He then noded and the nursed checked something on a paper she had.
« Your head is fine. Let's check your legs »
Same exercise with her legs. As expected, she had no problems following the Doctor's movements with her right foreleg, or with both of her backlegs, but problems arrived when she had to follow with the left foreleg.
Anything the doctor was doing above the third articulation, Octavia couldn't follow. No matter how much she tried. She ended up sweating, gritting her teeth, almost crying, to try to move her hoof even just a little bit, but it was impossible to her. The Doctor however had free control of the hoof. It was like she had no more muscles. He could move it at will as long as it was allowed by the bones. Shaking his head, he let go of her hoof as his professionalism vanished and a look of pity swept over him.
« I really can't. » said Octavia with a dead voice. « Looks like my career as a cello player is over, isn't it ? »
« Don't be too pessimistic, Lady Octavia. We don't know how long this will last. »
She stared at the ground, fighting with the tears that wanted to come out.
« Come on, we still have a few more tests to run. »
The Doctor mopped the sweat on Octavia's forehead with a towel and waited a bit before continuing the tests.
« We need you to walk now. »
Octavia noded silently. The Doctor and the nurse helped her get on her legs. She first walked with their help, a few steps. She could still do the movement without problems.
« We are going to release you now. You will walk alone up to the wall there, then get back here backwalking. Ok ? »
« Understood. »
« We will let you go at three. Ready ? One. Two. Three. »
When the Doctor said the last word, he and the nurse let go of Octavia. They stayed by her side until she requested some more space to walk.
She was standing right here, alone, quite unsure. It was obvious she was not very stable. She stood here a few seconds, and, when she tried to take the first step, moved her right hoof from the ground. She felt at that moment. Surprised, she didn't have time to ready herself and her nose hit the ground first. She screamed a little in pain.
The Doctor and the nurse helped her stand up.
« Sorry, we should have guessed. Want to give it another try ? »
« Yes. I'm sure I can still walk... »
This time, they stayed near her, in case she fell again.
And she did. She was completely unable to stand up on three legs if the front leg was her left foreleg.
« It seems your left foreleg doesn't have any strength left. »
They helped her back onto the bed. Octavia was about to cry, incredibly upset by the fact she couldn't walk.
« This means I can't walk either ? »
« This means you can't use your left foreleg as a stand alone. We will have to help you for that. It will make your walking difficult and awkward, but you will still be able to walk. Here, try to hold this. »
The doctor gave her the paper he had in the mouth. She took it between her two hooves as the doctor asked. Her left forehoof bent over when she tried to apply some pressure to keep the paper between the hooves and as a result, the paper felt.
« Ok. Last one, your tail, and the tests will be over. »
It appeared she could move her tail normally, except it hurt her back a bit.
« The pain in your back is probably due to the shock. It should pass soon. We didn't see any broken bones in the scanners and your muscles seem to be fine. »
He noted a few more things in the papers the nurse was filling out earlier while the latter was helping Octavia back onto the bed.
« The good news is that you have no problems other than your hoof... You should be able to get out by the end of the day, and make it to Ponyville by tomorow morning. We still need to give you something to help you walk. »
« I will stay over night ? »
« We can send a nurse to your home with you to help pack a little belongings before leaving for Ponyville. »
« That would help... though I wish I didn't need it. »
« You will need some time to get used to the brace we will put on your leg. »
« Can't I walk without a brace ? »
« You could. You would need to jump using your right foreleg when you would normally use your left foreleg to sustain you. »
« I would rather do that than have some sort of device stuck on my leg... »
« Understood. We will still give you a sling to hold on your hoof. You have tough days ahead of you, Lady Octavia. I hope you get better really soon. »
« Thanks... Oh, before you leave, I have a request. »
« Yes ? »
« Could you put bandages on my Cutie Marks ? »
The Doctor seemed surprised by Octavia's request. He waited a bit before answering. She looked at him with sad eyes, like it was the most important thing to her at the moment.
« I think I understand. Well, if you wish so. The nurse will do it in a bit. Also, don't forget to remind the nurse who will take care of your bandages in Ponyville to replace them even though you have no injury there. »
« Thank you for your understanding Doctor. »
The Doctor smiled at her and left the room. The smile was more honest and not full of pity this time. It was full of sincere hope and kindness. Depsite the grim outlook, he was really wishing Octavia could play the cello again. The nurse turned to face Octavia when the doctor was out of sight.
« Wait for me a minute, I am going to grab some bandages and a sling. Are you hungry too ? »
« A little, yes... I would gladly take something to eat. »
« I will come back with food too then. »
The nurse left the room without any more words. Octavia watched her leave silently. She wanted to go back to her home by the end of the day, to get ready to go to Ponyville, and she was sure the nurse the hospital would send to her home with her was the nurse who just left, and who had been with her all the day, and probably ever since she arrived here, two days ago.
The nurse came back with a cart containing everything she said she was bringing. The meal was light to let Octavia's stomach get used to working again. As the nurse was getting closer, Octavia tried to sit on the end of the bed.
« You will have to lie down for me to put the bandages on the Cutie Marks » said the nurse. « I will place the sling right after, and you will be able to eat once everything is set up. »
Octavia lied down as the nurse took the bandages on the cart and began placing them.
« Sorry I made such a selfish request. »
« It's ok. I don't really understand why you requested this, but if you think you need it, we will place them. It's nothing. »
« When will I be allowed to leave the hospital ? »
« The doctor will come again to take you out. It shouldn't be too long from now. I have to help you get used to walking before you are allowed to leave. We finished all the scanners and checkups. You suffered no injuries apart from your hoof... »
« Will a nurse be sent to watch over me ? »
« Yes, I will be the one coming. »
« What will you do ? »
« I will mainly make sure you get used to walking and check you can do everything again, even if I know there will plently of ponies ready to help you at Ponyville, and not only because you are Lady Octavia, just because they are kind. I have a relative working in the hospital there. She is always telling me she never met such kind ponies. »
« So the hospital doesn't send a nurse to make sure I don't try anything stupid ? »
« We trust you. You are Lady Octavia, we think you will be able to overcome the stupid ideas that might come to your head. There, finished, please sit now. »
The nurse helped Octavia sit on the bed while smiling.
« We really hope you get better soon, Lady Octavia. » continued the nurse as she placed the sling. « Finished. You want to eat or to train walking first ? »
« I will... I think it's better for me to try walking first. »
« Understood. You know what you have to do ? »
The nurse showed Octavia how she was supposed to walk now. Little jumps instead of moving her left foreleg. It was not very stable and pretty awkward, but at least it was not very hard to understand.
« Be aware that it is not as stable as using all your legs... And it is a lot harder too. You may not want to walk like this with too much weight on the back. »
Octavia stood up with the nurse's help, not very confident. Still with her help, she walked up to the wall in front of her. Then, without the nurse's help, she walked back to the bed. She fell a few times during the short trip, each time hurting her nose, each time getting up with the nurse's help, each time crying a little more. But it was very important for her. The very first step in the battle against her disability. The very first thing she could do with a lost leg. It was for her the first step of getting better, the first step of getting used to that curse she received when the building fell on their head, a way to show she was strong, and a way to wait for her hoof to come back to her.
She did a few more trips and fell a few more times. She was getting better at walking that way. On the final trip, she finally sat down on the bed, without the nurse's help. She was sweating a lot and her nose hurt a lot, but she felt reassured. She successfully walked, a short distance, with a few accidents, but she could walk. She just needed to get used to it.
« Good job » said the nurse while mopping the sweat on Octavia's forehead. « You should eat something and get some rest now. I will notify the doctor you are ready to leave. »
« Thank you »
The nurse left the room in silence while Octavia was eating. Eating alone like this had a bit of a sad feeling, but she didn't mind. She was used to it. Once the small meal was eaten, she pulled the cart away and lied down to rest a little while waiting for the doctor to come.
She didn't have time to rest for long before a knock could be heard on the door.
« Come in » she said with a sleepy voice.
« Sorry to disturb your nap. » said the Doctor as he entered the room, along with the nurse, and a cart full of papers.
Octavia looked through the window. It was sunset. She could make it to her home before the night.
« Am I allowed to leave now ? »
« Yes. I came here to have you fill out some forms and to tell you you are free. You are supposed to leave for Ponyville at 8 A.M. tomorow. If you wish so, you may pass by the castle to get your Cello. Nurse Kindheart here will follow you until you leave for Ponyville. »
« Thanks... I will not get my Cello. The Princess said she was taking care of it personally and I think it's better for my mind not to get too close to it... I suppose the Princess doesn't mind me letting the Cello stay with her so I will use that chance. I think she knew I wouldn't be getting it until I fully recover. » said Octavia while filling the various forms the Doctor gave her.
« Alright. Well then, I'm leaving you in the hands of Nurse Kindheart. I hope you get better really fast, Lady Octavia, and I wish you the best of luck for the upcoming days. »
The Doctor bowed as Octavia thanked him and left without further notice.
« He is very busy. » said the nurse. « He would probably have prefered going with you to the doors. »
« I understand. »
« Now if you could follow me. You want to walk by yourself ? »
« Yes please. But, don't get too far from me in case I fall again. »
The nurse took the forms on the cart and Octavia followed her to the first floor of the hospital. Going down the stairs was very difficult and she would have fallen severall times if it had not been for the nurse next to her. Once on the floor, the nurse gave the papers to the receptionist and joined Octavia in front of the main doors.
« Don't worry about the hospital fees. The Princess said she would pay for everypony who was hurt during the accident. »
Octavia stared at the sky. The night was slowly taking over the day and few ponies could be seen wandering the streets. She liked the atmosphere around her. It was peaceful and calm, as opposed to the late day storm. A shiver hurt her back a little and made her realize it was quite cold outside.
« Do you want to walk to your home or do you want to be driven there ? »
« I live far from here so I think it would be better if we were driven there... »
The nurse noded and called for a pegasus taxi. She helped Octavia set up on the back of the cart and let her give the directions to the pegasus.
The trip didn't last long, but Octavia had quite a hard time staying awake and often dropped her head on the nurse's shoulders. The landing woke her up suddendly and she walked up to her house with difficulties, until the nurse decided it would be good to help her. Octavia dropped right away on the first sofa she found, completely worn out, and fell asleep immediatly.
