Breaking Bad

by re- Yamsmos

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 11005

Flam White is an ordinary stallion, whose leader-like brother has led into a deceiving life of trickery and swindling. Diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, he teams with a former opponent to manufacture and sell crystal methamphetamine.

Flam White is an ordinary, middle-aged stallion, whose leader-like and older brother has led into a deceiving life of trickery and swindling upon innocent ponies across the entire country of Equestria. After returning to an ill-infested Ponyville and selling a curing tonic, Flam collapses onstage. Waking up in the hospital, he is diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and with two years left to live. As realization begins to kick in, he decides to take an extreme measure to ensure his family's financial future.

Teaming up with a certain cyan pegasus, the duo begin to both manufacture and sell crystal methamphetamine, unknowingly sinking deeper and deeper into the dark abyss of the not-so-hidden criminal underground of Equestria.

Cover by U1fric.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-03 05:57:02 UTC

Pilot

The RV rolled through the Badlands like a Hellhound loose from Tartarus, the dry dust permeating the air behind it as it sped along the desert road, the unfortunate pair of pants previously hanging from the rear view mirror being flung off and into the deadly wake behind it. The vehicle took a sudden right turn as it seemed it would topple over, before flying off deeper into the desert in a new direction. The RV jumped up and down with every bump in the road, causing the driver to slightly stand up on his hind legs awkwardly in order to better improve his driving. Breathing heavily through his gas mask, the stallion took a risky glance toward the interior of his vehicle.

Dead in the back, nestled closely next to each other on the ground, were two Unicorns, their bodies sliding idly around the RV as it careened through the desert, not having anything to keep them immobile. The glassware and the tools he had previously used were completely scattered throughout the RV, a large mess of red liquid sploshing around the bodies that were now soaked in it.

Looking back toward the road ahead, the stallion threw all of his weight to turn the steering wheel to the left so as to avoid an upcoming dead end, and almost sighed with relief when he came upon a straight road, before he heard the sounds of groaning emanating from elsewhere in the RV. Reaching his right hoof toward his hip, he cursed when he couldn't find the comforting surface of his seat belt. He had forgotten to strap himself in.

The stallion was just about to reach for the buckle when he realized that the Pegasus next to him had stirred. Looking at her, he found the mare laying unconsciously back in her seat, the gas mask over her face strapped so tightly the stallion could make out the white marks she would later wake up to on her features. He took a quick glance to assure that she was strapped in, before he looked back toward the road and concentrated on driving.

It wasn't long before the poisoned air, combined with his labored breathing, began to appear in his vision, the heavy condensation fogging up his mask's view-ports. He desperately raised a hoof to the front to wipe it off, the pounding in his ears drowning out every sound but his own heartbeat. Looking through a tiny crack in his vision, he found the RV swerving wildly left and right in the road, kicking up rocks and dust as it went.

As he found himself trying to regain his vision, look through what little he had left, and drive furiously, he tried to take a sharp left, only to hit a stray bush, swerve violently to the right, and suddenly dip into a small outcropping, where the windshield became completely blocked by red dust and shrubs, thwarting whatever view the stallion could have possibly seen.

The RV abruptly halted, sand ascending around the wreckage and quickly coating the entirety of its already dirtied white paint job.

The side door opened without a hitch, the runny red liquid following it like a sick puppy and spilling out onto the ground below. The stallion exited the vehicle in a hurry, coughing and wheezing as he attempted to breathe in fresh Equis air into his lungs. Desperately wrestling his gas mask off, he retrieved his glasses from within and unfolded them, before putting them on and looking towards the vehicle next to him.

Seeing its condition, lying bumper first and sunken in a ditch, he looked down with exasperation and hissed.

"Shit!" He turned on a hoof and chucked the gas mask a few yards into the distance, grinding both forehooves on his face and falling to his haunches. Hyperventilating, he slid his hooves onto the back of his neck, examining the landscape around him to calm his nerves.

The sound of sirens met his ears.

Looking around in a panicked frenzy, he trembled, thousands of worried thoughts coursing through his head at once, their relentless barrage only increasing the longer he heard the shrill sound coming from the desert. "Oh Faust, oh my Faust."

He stepped down toward the front of the RV, stepping in a large bush and scratching his already worn coat of fur. Reaching a hoof out to retrieve his pale green shirt, he suddenly retracted, looking wildly around for his pair of pants, before he groaned loudly and slipped his shirt on, taking care to button it up despite the circumstances.

Taking in a party of short gasps, he inflated his cheeks and held his breath, trotting quickly into the toxic interior of the RV. Turning to his left, he bent down and retrieved the gun still grasped in the green Unicorn's hoof, taking care to stuff it into a large hole in the back of his shirt. Rotating toward the dashboard, he trotted up next to the cyan mare slumped over the dashboard, sliding her body away from the compartment inside and pulling it open with a grunt of frustration.

Reaching his hoof inside, he retrieved a worn leather bit-bag and a video camera, and turned to exit the vehicle quickly. Stumbling back out into the fresh air, the sound of sirens pulsated through his head as he keeled over to wheeze in pain. Swiping his mouth with a sore hoof, he snapped to attention and stuffed his bit-bag into his shirt-pocket, reaching out to examine the video camera now in his hooves. Flipping out the side panel, he pressed the On switch, fell to his haunches, and breathed in a crumbled sigh, holding back tears. Waving a hoof over his head and shaking as if in a fever dream, he hit the Record button.

"...my name is Flam Crank White. I live at 308 Black Stream Lane, in the city of Appleloosa. To all Royal Guard squads and parties, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my... loving family now," he began, beginning to whimper, "Shim... you're the love of my life... I hope you know that. Flam Jr.... you're my big stallion. I want you to take care of your mother and your little sister while I'm gone. Listen, there are.." he stuttered, sighing in defeat, "there are going to be some things...things you'll come to learn about me in the next couple of days... I just want you to know, that no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart. Things are going to...going to be hard...but just know that I only wanted what was best for my family."

Flam resisted the urge to wipe the stream of tears beginning to leak from his eyes, the thought of the family he would soon be leaving coming into his mind and invading the capital. Biting his lower lip, he concluded.

"Goodbye."

Slamming his hoof into the Record button, he wept, his head bobbing up and down with every sob he let escape his mouth. He would be leaving his family. He would be going to prison for what he had done. He would never be able to see his oldest son graduate from high school, he would never see his oldest son get married and have children....he would never see the birth of his foal, and would never be present for her entire life. The sirens drew closer, and Flam wiped his eyes for what he knew would be the last time as an innocent stallion. Placing both his bit-bag and the video camera on a nearby rock, he recomposed himself, before he retrieved the gun from the back of his shirt, inserting his hoof into the firing cuff and trotting slowly out from behind the RV.

Standing menacingly in the middle of the desert road, he raised his firearm toward the approaching police sirens.

"Step right up, step riiiiiight up mares and stallions, and be among the first to purchase a vial of the Flim Flam Brothers' Miracle Curative Tonic!"

The crowd that had formed was enough to exceed Flam's expectations; after all, their last visit hadn't ended so well in his and his brother's favor. They had to evade the Royal Guard's questioning for days before they ended up in Appleloosa, where they were forced to become the entertainment in the town's local bar. The crowd they garnered there wasn't anywhere near the amount that had gathered today. Though, as Flim had told him the night before, they had no other choice.

The large gathering of ponies reflected in Flam's eyes almost made his smile falter; their faces were of a pale green hue, their cheeks bulging and their behavior rather sluggish as a few ponies began to advance toward the brothers' concession stand, reaching into their saddlebags and retrieving a small hooful of bits. Placing it onto the stand, they were each given a small vial, which they promptly drank immediately. The vile taste caused them to gag before they wiped their mouths and continued off.

As his brother loaded the bits into their bit register, Flam saw that familiar glint in his eyes. He feigned a smile at their ill customers, but Flam saw right through his brother's well-rehearsed disguise. He gave the look of a swindler, a cheat, a liar who had just swindled his way into the life of luxury.

That is what they were, and that is what they would be.

"Flam, o' brother!"

The Unicorn tensed, suddenly throwing his train of thought down the canyon, "Uh, uh yes brother?"

Flim gave him a soft glare underneath his businesspony smile, "We need a few more vials, could you go into the tent and pick up a few crates? This lovely mare right here would like a couple." he replied, waving a hoof toward a gray Pegasus mare standing in front of him. She looked as if she were about to barf, and as Flam trotted through the tent flap, he believed that he heard the familiar sound of someone retching.

The interior of their tent was a far stretch from the simple stand they had in front of it. Large blueprints, wooden tables, and hundreds of assortments of barrels, crates, and bins were scattered throughout the large tent. Trotting through the candlelit room, he turned to his right and found a box of what his brother had labelled Tonic. Lighting his horn, he engulfed the wooden crate in a fiery green aura, turning tail and trotting out to face the loud music outside.

And loud it was. The crowd that had gathered in front of their stand must have doubled while Flam was inside. He was quickly able to confirm this with his brother's icy glare, turned away from their crowd and focused solely on him. Flim stared silent daggers at him, before he spoke through gritted teeth, "Come on out brother. I think our lovely customers have waited far too long for you to dilly-dally."

Flam groaned, audibly, to which his brother cleared his throat. Composing himself, Flam restarted, "Yes. Of course, my brother."

His older sibling gave him a quick, definitely fake smile, before he lit his horn and opened the crate, floating the vials inside up to their still paying customers. Flam took this time to relax, though little time he knew he would have. Standing in front of their encampment, Flam surveyed the gloomy atmosphere of Ponyville.

The clouds above seemed to be a dark green, the sky being a much darker tone of its precipitating cousin. Though it wasn't now, Flam had a feeling that the large collection of vapor wasn't there just for show. Looking toward the town, he saw what he almost believed to be an exact replica of a post-apocalyptic metropolis. The countless houses in Ponyville were boarded up, their doors, windows, and chimneys all nailed down with crude pieces of wood. His resolve almost broke down, looking at the infested remains of what his brother had called-

"A city epidemic, isn't that something o' brother?"

Flam looked toward his older twin, who gave him a wave over, "Come help me with these sells, if you wouldn't mind."

Yes. He would mind. They were swindling innocent, genuinely ill ponies.

"Of course, Flim. Give me a minute, it looks like we need more Tonic."

Flim raised an alarmed brow, before he bent over and looked in the stand's inner shelf. The almost empty container of glassware stared him back, "Ah, right you are brother. I swear, these ponies are going to sell us out at this rate, oh, nonono, I'm only joking ma'am. Here, have a Tonic.."

His brother's voice faded as Flam entered the tent once again, closing the tent flap silently and falling to his haunches. Shutting his eyes and looking toward his outstretched forelegs, he magicked the Tonic vials he had just hidden from his brother from behind a crate to his left, bringing one over to his hooves and putting the rest in an empty crate elsewhere.

He lifted the glass to his face, examining his reflection thoughtfully. As he sat there, looking idly at the vial in his hooves, he lit his horn, opening the left pocket on his striped shirt. He felt the warm metallic surface of his desired object, and brought it out into the candlelit light.

The pendant he was now holding in his magic found itself opened, and its owner gave a long sigh. Staring back at him was a paper image of a pale olive mare, a straw hat placed lazily over her red and white mane and a goofy expression plastered on her motionless face, aimed toward the stallion currently grasping her shelter in a shaky hoof. Flam sat there silently, looking consciously at the heart-shaped pendant that held the mare of his life.

"For you, Shim. I'm doing it for you," he said, looking down toward her image as he said this, "no matter the cost."

He paused for two heartbeats to look down upon her, before he clasped it tightly and replaced it in his pocket. As he did so, he held a free hoof over his mouth as he coughed loudly. Glancing back toward the vial, he almost jumped at what he saw. In his reflection, it appeared that he had shaved his mane entirely and grew out his mustache, letting it evolve into a full goatee that looked to completely envelope his mouth. Running a hoof over his head, he found relief as he felt his full head of hair at his touch, his mustache remaining in its regular state as well.

Turning toward the tent flap, he shook his head to ward the effect of his coughing fit, getting up from his haunches and trotting over to retrieve a container of Tonic on a wooden table. Swinging around, he took a single step to exit the tent.

He suddenly fell to the floor, smashing the vials of Tonic to the floor and shattering them upon impact, holding both hooves over his mouth as he felt his lung being hacked out of his inner body. Laying on his side like this, he continued to bark, all the while wondering why he was doing so at all. Flam turned over onto his back and threw his hooves outward, his eyes half-lidded and his breath going through a tiring labor just to supply the stallion with oxygen.

It wasn't long before Flim emerged from the outside, looking down at his brother and giving him a rare look of genuine concern, "Brother, are you alright in here?" He took one look at the scattered glass shards next to his brother and gave a sigh, "Adequate. That's about twenty-four vials down the drain. Be more careful next time, would you Flam? We have customers who are willing to pay for your formula, now c'mon."

Flim magicked another crate of Tonic and walked out with those words, leaving his brother to struggle to get up shakily to his hooves. As Flam wiped his mouth vigorously, he followed his brother back out into the humid air of Ponyville, only to be stopped in mid-step.

Flim had stopped walking, a rare thing of his these days. Flam peeked over his sibling's shoulder, and found a familiar group of mares in the front of the crowd, each holding a look of frustration, all except the yellow one, who was missing from the brothers' sights.

The orange Earth pony stepped forward menacingly, "And just what're you two doin' here again?"

She turned her head to the left and right, "And swindlin' these sick ponies of all things?"

Flim floated the crate of vials to his right, walking out to the stand and placing his elbow on it in an attempt at charisma, "Now now, young filly, we are simply selling my and my brother's curative formula to your town of sick patrons. It's honest business-"

"No it ain't. There's no way in Faust that gunk works."

"Ah, but it does young filly. Just look at some of your fellow Ponyvillians who've already drank some, they're looking spiffier and fitter already."

Looking over, it seemed that the mare realized they indeed were looking a lot better after downing a vial. She raised a hoof and snapped, "Ya know what? Mah Granny Smith has been sick with the Flu for weeks-"

"But of course! Bring her over here, she must be cured immediately! We can't have your little sister catch it now, can we?"

The mare shook her head slowly, before she parted the crowd behind her, revealing the slightly greener Granny Smith, her mane frazzled and her knees wobbly. When she saw the two stallions, she gave a glare that could rival Flim's, before she reached for a bit in her scarf, to which Flam shook a hoof, "Oh no ma'am," he started, lightly pushing her hoof back, "free of charge."

Flim, who was currently retrieving a vial and so did not hear, trotted back and gave the elderly pony a flask. She shut an eye and stared intently at her Tonic, swirling the purple liquid around with a hoof, before she suddenly downed it like a shot. As she gulped it down, her face fixed in one of disgust, the mare grit her teeth, looking around worriedly, and abruptly walked off without a hitch and a cough, leaving behind a shocked orange mare, whose face was locked into one of pure awe with her friends.

Flam raised a hoof to speak, but was cut off by his brother, who came up from behind him and called, "You saw it Ponyville! That's right, the Flim Flam Brothers' Miracle Curative Tonic really works!" This was met with a loud shout of approval from the sick inhabitants, who began to swarm the brothers' stand like bees to honey.

Flim, looking excitedly at his brother, waved at him and shouted above their customers, "More vials, brother of mine!"

He had that familiar glint in his eye.

Flam stood there silently, looking out over the crowd, before he raised his hoof over his mouth again to hack, causing his brother to look over at him again, "Brother?"

His vision swam, the ponies surrounding his stand becoming louder and echoing throughout his head, the stallion barely noticing that he was swaying about like a ship on rough seas, before he fell to the floor in a cold heap, unconscious.

Cancer Stallion

Ponyville was quiet, the inhabitants nestled safely inside their houses from the relentless rain beating down on the outside, soaking the grass, the houses, and the concession stands in its watery wake. In the center of the town square lay a large, deserted tent, the wooden stall in front of it weak from neglect. Hanging above it, swinging in the wind, was a hoof-carved, stylized sign, the words Flim Flam Brothers' Miracle Curative Tonic painted delicately along its length.

Walking silently through the town was a lone stallion, his head held surprisingly high and his slow trot unaffected by the cold conditions of the outdoor area. He trotted through Ponyville, seemingly without a care in the world, despite the roaring wind and the torrent of rain currently soaking his blue and white shirt.

Alone he was, strolling casually in the rain.

His hooves led him to a tall wooden fence post, a collection of carved arrows pointing every which way, bearing the name of a city in their direction, almost begging the stallion pondering it to pick their location. Not once did he move a hoof up to his face in contemplation, nor did he look away from the sign, even as he heard the telltale sound of his name being called from his right, the very idea of someone calling him not sounding even remotely normal in this town.

He continued to stare at the various locations stenciled on the front of the signs, not noticing the sound of hoofsteps getting closer to his region. He didn't flinch, not a single time, when he heard the angelic sound of a mare behind him ask, "Hello there, sir?"

He remained still, like a statue guarding a stereotypical castle.

"Excuse me, Flim, is it?"

He shook his head, still not looking at the mare behind him.

"Oh, my sincere apologies. Flam, then?"

Flam nodded.

"Ah yes. Well, Flam, I couldn't help but notice that you're out here in the cold, and well, I couldn't just let a poor stallion wander about in the rain aimlessly."

The stallion gave no response, instead resuming his focus on the fence post standing in front of him.

"Now Flam, I understand what you and your brother have done, but I am in no position to let you get absolutely drenched out here. I am the Element of Generosity, after all. You'll catch a cold, now come come, let's get you out of this dreadful torrent we call rain."

Flam sighed, turning around to face the mare. He opened his mouth to protest, only to find that the gray mare in front of him was giving a mixture of what he saw as hopefulness and quite possibly legitimate generosity. Flam slowly nodded, watching as the mare struggled with her umbrella, muttering something about getting her newly curled mane getting wet.

Dressed head to hoof in a rather oddly stylish rain coat, she found herself relieved of her faulty umbrella, a fiery green aura surrounding its frame and levitating directly over her head. Looking toward the stallion next to her, she found Flam giving her a very small, almost absent smile, which she gave in return in a much larger form. He gave her a short nod, and followed her closely as she led him to her household.

It wasn't long before Flam found himself looking at the figure of a large, multicolored building, a small orange flag flapping violently in the turbulent wind, practically looking close to being torn completely off its hinge. Flam raised a brow at the sign atop the purple door the mare was currently unlocking, the white, fancy-font words reading Carousel Boutique.

He was thrown from his thoughts as he heard the sound of the lock clicking in place, followed by the mare opening the door with a loud creak, which the mare tutted at as she walked in.

"Tsk tsk tsk, one day I absolutely must tend to that awful creaking," she insisted, shaking her head to rid the thought of the irritating sound. Not hearing hoofsteps behind her, she turned slowly, looking at the wet stallion currently standing idly on her purple welcome mat expectantly.

"Well? Come in," she spoke, waving a hoof toward the interior of her residence. Flam gave her motion one observant look, before he calmly walked in, pausing to wipe his mud-ridden hooves on the mat. The mare threw a glance toward her red and yellow couch before she went to take off her raincoat, watching as Flam walked silently to her furniture and took a seat without further oddity.

As she threw off her bright yellow hat, the mare called, "I'm going to go make some tea, would you care for a cup?"

She looked at the stallion, still seated quietly on her sofa. He gave a quiet nod, still not looking at his host. Giving a sincere smile, she added, "I'm Rarity, by the way," she gazed at the still silent stallion expectantly, "just.. call if you need anything, Mr..."

She was sure he would give her his last name so she could politely address him, but he remained silent. She gave a slightly whispered, "Okay then," and quickly trotted into the kitchen to put out a kettle.

As Rarity disappeared into the kitchen, Flam stared blankly at the table in front of him, a small assortment of yarn spools and filled pincushions leering right back at him. He sat like a statue, unblinking and motionless, until he heard the sound of someone knocking on the front door of Rarity's Boutique, a series of what Flam assumed to be a code knock of sorts, before he caught the voice of Rarity calling, "Come in!"

Looking toward the purple door, he watched as it opened in the blink of an eye, a cyan Pegasus mare appearing at the door, her hooves covered in mud and her eyes shut as she exclaimed, "Hey, yo Rares, how do ya like the storm I made? Did it all by myself, in ten seconds-"

"Yes yes yes, Rainbow Dash. I understand, ten seconds flat, like always."

"Yup. Now that I think about it," she began, rubbing a hoof on her chest proudly, "I think it might've been nine seconds."

"Rainbow Dash?" Rarity asked, suddenly appearing behind the corner and looking at her friend.

"Yeah Rares?"

"Would you be a dear and just take a seat in the lobby? I'm making tea for my guest, so I'll be there in a minute."

"Yeah, I can do that," she confirmed, walking back into the main room, "who's this guest of yours-"

She suddenly stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide and her posture alert, noticing the light olive stallion sitting calmly on her fainting couch, "You."

Rainbow walked menacingly over to the seated Unicorn, her face fixed into one of opposition at the swindler's presence, "Just what are you doin' here, huh?"

The stallion remained silent, but slowly turned his head her way.

Trotting up closer to him, now a leg-length away, she grit her teeth and sneered quietly, "You gonna answer me.. bitch?"

He gave no answer, continuing to review the hostile mare before him as if unimpressed.

Rainbow flapped her wings and floated over to him, butting her head onto his and fuming, "Tell me why you're here, you retarded businesspony-"

She suddenly felt the wind get knocked out of her, courtesy of the retracted foreleg now embedded in her gut. Reaching for her stomach, she watched as her hoof was enveloped in a fiery green magical aura, before it slammed into her face, knocking her out of the air and onto the carpet a few feet away from the stallion now standing from the couch.

Rising from the ground and wiping her mouth, she growled at the Unicorn, who narrowed his eyes and got into a half-attempted defensive stance, "Alright. You asked for it, yo-"

Her right foreleg gave out from underneath her, causing her to fall to the ground in a heap. Watching as the green aura faded from the "faulty" appendage, she grunted loudly and reached for the nearest chair, coiling her hooves around it and raising it over her head.

She threw it with all her might, launching it directly at Flam, who dodged, lit his horn, and magicked the chair, floating it down safely to the ground. Turning his head, he gave a frown toward the cyan mare currently staring him down. She pawed at the carpet beneath her hooves, her eyes swiftly scanning the room for something else to use. Her magenta irises rested on a bag of diamonds, which she promptly flew towards, opening it up without a hitch and holding it up to the light above the coffee table.

Flam raised a hoof over his eyes, blinded by the diamond's reflection, and as it dimmed, he lowered his leg, only to be knocked off his hooves by a light blue blur, the duo rolling around across the carpet and exchanging blows. The noise drew over the light gray mare, who gasped in shock and snapped, "Rainbow Dash! Just what in the name of Celestia are you doing?!"

Rainbow, straddled atop Flam, a hoof raised for the strike, looked over at Rarity and responded, "He lunged at me!"

"There is no reason he would have, unless you provoked him, Rainbow Dash!"

"But Rares-"

"No buts, Rainbow. Get out!" Rarity hissed, throwing a hoof toward the front door, prompting her cyan friend to look down at her opponent and get up quickly.

"Ya know what? Fine, I gotta be someplace anyway."

"Then go!"

With that, the Pegasus flew out the door, but not before giving Flam a final glare of defeat. Rarity trotted quickly toward the entryway, slamming the door shut in a very unlady-like fashion. She turned around to face her guest, brandishing an obviously nervous smile, "I sincerely apologize for her behavior, Mr. Flam, I do hope she didn't injure you-"

"I have cancer," Flam spoke finally, his eyes dim and his expression calm and collected. He looked over to Rarity, and added simply, "it's bad."

Rarity stood there in shock, her heart pounding in her ears. As it dimmed, she heard the sound of the kettle whistling loudly, finding this as a way out, "I'll go get your tea, and then we can talk about it. Is that adequate, Mr..."

"White."

Rarity smiled, glad to finally get his last name, "Mr. White. Thank you," she chimed, turning to go back into the kitchen, "I'll be.... just a minute."

Trotting back into the blue painted room, she was quick to shut off the heat boiling the kettle's water, as per her much rehearsed chore of making tea. Lighting her horn, she retrieved two glasses from the mulberry cabinet above her head, tipping over the kettle and pouring the steaming hot water inside. Floating two teabags and dropping them delicately into the cups, she walked out of the cookery, both glasses hovering alongside her.

Opening her eyes, she was met with an empty Boutique.

"....Mr. White?"

The storm was quick to slow down a tad, a largely welcomed change of pace for Flam as he trotted along Ponyville. He had seen her fly this way, she would be around here someplace.

The neighborhood he was in must have been where the recently graduated, entirely vulnerable teenagers lived, some of the houses' grassy front yards being either five feet tall, or completely gone from what appeared to be a voluntary fire. Flam gave a frown, knowing full well what other kind of ponies must have lived around here. Tweakers, alcoholics, Zappers, just to name a few. Some neighborhood he definitely didn't expect to be in a happy town like Ponyville. Thinking back to how it was isolated from the rest of the metropolis by a river and a stone bridge, the stallion suddenly saw fit.

As he walked past a run-down, seemingly abandoned house, he heard the sounds of voices. Stopping abruptly, he slowly trotted backward, halting when he was looking at the worn front door of the residence, slightly ajar and leading into darkness. Casually stalking toward the entryway, he lay his head curiously on the dirtied, chipped wood.

"...got ten pounds for you guys today. How's that, yo?" asked a familiar voice.

"Ten pounds? That it?" questioned a gruffer, definitely male voice.

The mare took a few heartbeats until she answered, "Yeah, 's all I could cook."

"Why's that, 'uh?"

"My friends and I had to tend to some business. Some bunny got trapped in a well an'-"

Flam heard the sound of uproarious laughter follow suit. There were definitely more than two ponies in there.

"You've gotta be jokin'."

Silence.

The stallion spoke slowly, "Son.. of.. a.. bitch you're not jokin'!"

The laughter rose up again. Flam could already imagine the mare biting her lower lip and immediately regretting her little spill.

"Alright boys, calm down. So... how much?"

"Nine hundred."

The gruff stallion's heavy hoofsteps resounded across what Flam assumed to be a hollow wooden floor, "Nine. Hundred?"

The mare stammered, "Yeah, I-"

"That's four hundred more than last time. Do you think I'm stupid or somethin'?"

"Nonono yo, it's just been kinda hard to make and all with my supplies getting low-"

"Not my problem, bitch."

Flam caught the sound of something metallic being shifted, and the mare began to protest loudly, "Whoa whoa whoa, you don't have to do this man-"

"You try to sell me Rocks for almost double the price of last time, and you say I don't have to do this?" the stallion asked menacingly.

"If you give me nine hundred, I could buy some new equipment! And then you get more Rocks, alright?"

"I don't think that's how this is gonna end, Dash-"

The door to the establishment suddenly burst open, the silhouette of a Unicorn standing ominously in the doorway.

"And just what is happening here, huh?"

The stallions, oddly-shaped objects grasped in their magic, took one glance toward their new arrival and screamed, "Shit, a Guard!"

"Everypony for themselves!"

They dispersed without warning, each finding a way out of the house, the sound of opening doors, windows, and broken glass resounding throughout the desolate household. The stallion in the doorway trotted slowly inside, green eyes scanning the entire room to assure the absence of danger. Looking toward the side of a wooden table, he found a rainbow-maned Pegasus, her mane frazzled from stress. Raising a hoof over her eyes from the outdoors' blinding light, she grit her teeth in concentration.

As Flam walked calmly up to her, she muttered, "Oh shit.." and watched as Flam's eyes diverted swiftly to something directly next to her. Eyes widening in realization, she turned over and reached for the object, only to be thwarted as it was enveloped in a green aura.

Flam floated the object up to his eyes, and raised a surprised brow at the plastic bag of white, crystallized rocks surrounded in his magic. Casting a glance at the currently risen mare staring worriedly at him, he opened his mouth to speak.

"And just what is this... 'bitch'?"

Convincing Enough

“Yo, Twilight!”

“Oh, hey Rainbow! How are you today?” Twilight beamed, her horn alit and enveloping the door’s golden handle, “Come in, come in!”

Waving the pegasus into her abode, Twilight closed the door and turned around, watching as her friend reached to her head and yanked the yellow and black beanie atop it, throwing it onto the nearby couch to her right and proceeding toward the dusted furniture with a bored expression.

Practically collapsing onto the lounge, she crossed her hooves behind her head and shut her eyes, wriggling in discomfort before settling down and reclining idly in the library.

She remained like this for what she felt to be minutes, before she heard a voice call her name, “So, uh, Rainbow Dash?”

Her mind groaned loudly, but she was able to respond begrudgingly, “Yeah, Twi?”

“What, uh, what did you need?”

Suddenly snapping her eyes open in realization, she stammered, “Ah shit, that’s right-”

“Language, Rainbow!” Twilight hissed, motioning her head towards the purple drake currently sweeping the floor across the room.

“Heh, my bad,” she apologized, tilting her head to the side and giving a cheeky grin. Twilight looked at her, unimpressed with her cursing, but let her continue.

“I, uh, I need a favor," the pegasus admitted, getting up from the couch with a hurried expression on her face.

"Uh, what is it?" Twilight inquired, taken aback by Rainbow's sudden mood change. Lighting her horn, she retrieved a notebook and a freshly-inked quill, ready to write down whatever wacky thing her friend needed so she could remember it for later.

"I need a Winnemango."

"A Winnemango-"

"You know," Rainbow started, splaying her hooves out to emphasize her explanation, "like one of those big RV things-"

"Okay, first off, why do you need one?"

Rainbow sat on her haunches obediently, responding with a simple, "I want to go camping."

"And who would you even go camping with?"

"Uh, Pinkie Pie, of course. Maybe Rarity if she decides to stop bein' such a clean freak-"

Twilight raised a hoof, signifying her turn to speak abruptly, "Another problem. You know how much a Winnemango can cost? That's a lot of bits..."

"But!" Rainbow interrupted, raising her own hoof and brandishing a smile, "you're tight with the Princess!"

Twilight rolled her eyes at this.

"You got tickets to the Gala, one of the hardest things to even get tickets for, you got a book full of forbidden spells, hell, you got your own gun a couple weeks ago-"

"Which is only for researching purposes."

"-so why couldn't you get a clunky old RV?" Rainbow pondered loudly, giving a small shrug of her shoulders to further emphasize her confusion.

"Why do you suddenly want to camp in the first place? You don't even have a place to put it!"

"I could ask Applejack. I mean, she brought it up in the first place."

Twilight threw her hoof into her face, dragging her nose and mouth down with the appendage as she groaned, "Alright, I'll see what I can do, Rainbow."

"Thanks, Twi!" she exclaimed, hugging her friend for a brief moment before trotting toward the door in a hurry, "oh, and tell her not to do the license plate, I can manage it by myself!"

And with that, the mare was out the door, leaving behind a blinking purple alicorn and a confused drake, who raised a claw to speak, only for his caretaker to quiet him with a defeated, "Don't ask, Spike."

He could only give a confirming, "Well, alright then Twilight," before returning to his mop and inserting it into the cold bucket of water nearby.

Flam withdrew his hooves from the steel kettle standing in front of him, rubbing the ice cold water over his face and looking at himself in the fogged mirror staring back at the stallion expectantly. Figuring out what it wanted, he wiped the condensation off the glass and shivered at his reflection. His red and white mane was frazzled, as if he had just gotten up from rolling around on a blanket. Breathing in a single, long breath, he quickly turned around and trotted toward the crate he had returned to this cursed tent for.

Stenciled across its side were the words, Tonic Supplies. Lighting his horn and cracking it open, he looked inside to reassure himself that everything he needed was inside, before replacing the lid and walking out in a hurry, he stopped at the front entrance.

Turning his head, he noted the large tarp previously hung over their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 now sat quietly on the grass floor. His mind immediately went to the outcome he knew would happen at some point from the very start.

His brother was long gone.

And with him, the large sum of bits they had successfully swindled from countless ponies in Equestria.

Knitting his brow in dawning realization, he cast one last glance at the tent before he quickly stepped out into the fresh Equis air, closing the flap behind him angrily without a second look. Crate levitating idly beside him, he took in a deep breath and turned his head to the left, watching as Celestia's sun slowly disappeared over the horizon, leaving behind a waning light that gradually grew smaller and smaller as he walked to Ponyville's local confection shop.

Walking right past the gingerbread-looking settlement, he prayed silently that what he had told the mare to do was actually done. The crate of supplies next to him, he turned the corner and raised a surprised brow at what he saw.

A large, long, white RV sped up to him, stopping just mere inches from invading his personal space. The slim rectangular grille puffed out slightly darkened white smoke, almost in a mock impression of the cyan mare currently sitting in the driver's seat, her head poking out the window, "We ain't got all night, yo. Get in."

"Keep your damn voice down, you almost hit me!" Flam hissed in response, looking around their environment to make sure that no one was witnessing this spectacle. Taking a slight step back, he adjusted his blue and white shirt, glaring daggers at the pegasus currently groaning at him, "took you long enough, by the way."

"Was only a couple o' days, yo. Told ya I'd get it."

Walking toward the right side, he magicked the door and threw it open, placing the crate on the carpeted floor of the RV before jumping into it himself. Not even waiting for him to strap in, the mare threw her hoof into the stick, speeding off from behind Sugarcube Corner and into the night. The olive stallion in the back carefully magicked the crate of glassware into the sink and secured it, before casting an annoyed glance toward the pegasus mare and falling into the passenger seat.

As if hesitantly, she turned her head and looked him up and down, as if in thought.

As they veered out of Ponyville, heading south, she broke the verbal silence with a grumbling sentence.

"Can't believe I'm actually doin' this shit...."

"And just what is this... 'bitch'?"

Rainbow suddenly lunged for the plastic bag, reaching out and attempting to rip it from the stallion's hooves. He sidestepped without the slightest amount of attempt, watching as the mare fell to the floor in a heap, her hoof still outstretched in preparation. Swiftly getting up as if it hadn't happened, she seethed at Flam, who examined the crystalline rocks like an observant scientist.

The pegasus licked her lips before stuttering, "It uh, it's just some candy..."

"Candy that almost got you killed, huh?"

Flam raised a brow. Hovering the rocks next to him, he slowly paced around the room in front of the cyan mare, "Candy that you wanted nine hundred bits for?"

Rainbow could only watch as he suddenly turned toward her, the darkness of the house shadowing everything but his eyes, "I find that hard to believe."

"Look, whaddyou want man?"

"These are Rocks. I know them when I see them."

"I-"

"I've traveled all around Equestria. You think I don't know what Rocks look like?"

He looked at the mare, her hoof tapping lightly against the floor and her teeth biting her bottom lip tightly, as if she was attempting to bleed herself.

"How'd you find me-"

"I followed you."

"Well, why are you here?"

"I was curious," Flam replied simply, as if it was the easiest thing he could've said, "Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much, but....Rocks?"

"Eh..."

"I never pictured that," he said, throwing the baggie over to the mare, who caught it in mid-air and held it delicately in a hoof. Looking back up at him, the stallion continued, "There's a lot of bits in it, huh?"

"I dunno what you're talking about."

"No...?"

"Not a clue."

Flam leaned toward her menacingly, knowing full well how much he was intimidating her. Rainbow couldn't help but shrink in size and stare right back at him as he said, "I don't believe you."

"Look, I don't know what you're doing here, yo, I mean, if you're planning on giving me some bull-winder about getting myself right with Lord Faust or turning myself in-"

"No. The cider competition was years ago. Lemme tell you," Flam said, lighting his horn and sliding a chair toward his flank, he sat down nonchalantly and explained, "your 'friends' just ran off in quite the hurry. And with the ruckus they made, someone's bound to get here and inform the Guard."

Rainbow twiddled her hooves, looking every which way to look as innocent as possible.

"You don't have a lot of time left, so you see. You lost your dealers, they ran off with your bits, and you have low supply. You," he addressed the mare, poking a hoof in her direction to emphasize the notion, "have nothing. You're at square one, young filly. But, you know the business, and I know the chemistry. I'm thinking....you and I could partner up."

Flam reclined in his seat, a normal expression plastered onto his face. Rainbow looked to the left, and then to the right, and then stared at the mustached stallion in front of her, gulped, "You, uh, you wanna cook Zap Rocks?"

Flam nodded simply.

"You," she pointed at him worriedly, "you, and uh, me..."

Rainbow considered what she could be getting into. The stallion in front of her could very well become the stallion who uncovered her for who she truly was, showing the ponies she's loved her darkest secret, and incarcerating her for Faust knows how long. He could be the one pony who killed the famous Rainbow Dash, future leader of the Wonderbolts and the Element of Loyalty. He could be the thief of all the money she had ever collected.

He could be her partner.

Looking back at the olive stallion expectantly, he broke the silence with two lingering words.

"That's right."

Crystal Clear

"This.... this is glass-grade..."

"Hell, you... you got crystals in here, two, three inches long. This is pure glass."

Rainbow looked incredulously at the olive stallion currently washing his hooves in the RV's sink, the running of the water being the mare's only answer as she struggled to regain her composure, the ventilated air conditioning of their abode beating the heat from the outside desert with ease.

Flinging his hooves, he reached for the rack of paper towels hanging above his head as the mare currently behind him ran a hoof through her prismatic mane in disbelief. Throwing the towel into the empty garbage bin by the sink, he readjusted his white apron with his now dry hooves, turning around and finding a cyan Pegasus with a container of white rocks staring in awe at him, her mouth wide open in pure astonishment and her gas mask lying forgotten on the floor.

Her lower lip shaking, she stammered, "You're a Faust-damned artist..."

Flam removed his gas mask, giving the mare a look of curiosity.

"This... this is art Flam-"

Raising a hoof, the Unicorn interrupted, "Mr. White."

"...'scuse me?"

Adjusting his apron again, he knitted his brows in determination, "You," he started, poking a hoof into his partner's chest, "will call me Mr. White."

"And why the hell would I do that, huh?"

"How many other ponies do you know named 'Flam'?"

The mare fell to her haunches in concentration, holding a hoof to her chin and muttering to herself. Two heartbeats later, the mare raised a hoof to speak suddenly, but was cut off by her partner.

"There are countless 'Whites' in Equestria. And since you'd have an easier time getting out of jail, being the Element of Loyalty, if someone catches you talking to 'Mr. White', they won't know exactly who it is."

Flattening her lips, Rainbow admitted, "I uh... I never really thought about that."

"Back to your accusation-"

"Oh yeah!" she shouted, a huge smile on her face, "these Rocks you made are pure art, Fla-"

"Mr. White."

"We're alone, not like anyone'll hear you."

"Yeah, well practice makes perfect."

Looking over at the mare, eyes as wide as dinner plates, he flailed a hoof above his head in annoyance, "Well, actually, it's just basic chemistry."

"Whaddyou know about chemistry, huh?"

Giving a snort of disbelief, Flam suppressed the feeling to laugh.

"Who do you think made the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000?"

Flam gave a sly grin at the mare's sudden tensing.

"And the Miracle Curative Tonic?"

Rainbow's eyes reflected a phase of sudden realization as Flam pointed to his flank.

"That's what this is for," he started, pointing to the almost whole red apple on his side, "I'm the manufacturer, my brother is the seller, or... was."

"I'm sorry, yo," Rainbow replied sincerely, rubbing a leg over the back of her head.

"Don't be."

The mare raised a brow in confusion.

"He was an asshole."

Rainbow placed a hoof over her mouth to stifle the grin etching onto her face, before she turned her attention to the Rocks currently hovering in Flam's magical aura.

"You dropped them," Flam spoke, noticing the mare's suddenly worried expression, "now, back to business," he resumed, levitating the Rocks to the mare's open hooves.

The quality of the drug reemerging in the mare's mind, she quickly ran to the sink, reaching for a cabinet and pulling out a pocket knife before returning, "I gotta try this-"

The bowl of Rocks suddenly hovered higher toward the ceiling, the mare previously reaching for it only grabbing open air.

"Hey, yo, what the hell-"

"No. No," Flam ordered, shaking a hoof in annoyance, "we only sell it. We don't use it."

"Yeah, and since when?"

"Since I saved your life. And that whatever I say," he commanded, "goes. Or else you get thrown in the slammer, and I get a couple of bits for turning in a Rock dealer."

Rainbow glared at the stallion, who proceeded to give her back a sly grin and an arched eyebrow. The standoff seemed to last hours, before the mare suddenly fell to her haunches, crossed her forelegs, and pouted her lip out in defeat, "I know just the guy to talk to."

"Well good, we'll have something to sell him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

Flam knitted his brow, "We cook more tomorrow."

"...seriously?"

"Yes."

Rainbow licked her lips, looking around the RV with a sense of disbelief, before she gave a firm, "Alright."

Flam smiled, lighting his horn and magicking a plastic tub from underneath the sink, "Go start up the RV."

"Yeah yeah yeah," the mare replied, turning tail and heading toward the front of the vehicle, reaching with a hoof and sliding the front curtain away from the window, leaning over the dashboard and inserting the nearby key into the ignition. The RV sprang to life, the rumble of the engine being the one noise blocking the otherwise disruptive sound of five pounds of Rocks being dumped into a loud, plastic, hollow tub.

Placing the lid onto the container, Rainbow peered over at him from behind the drivers seat, an impatient look on her face. Levitating their equipment securely into the sink, Flam nodded, before almost falling to the floor as the mare sped off, her hind hoof slamming directly onto the gas pedal and speeding them out of the Badlands and back toward Ponyville, kicking up dust all the way.

Desert Fire

"Hey yo, Ocho!"

The mare walked calmly into the stallion's house, finding him standing near her, a large bucking bag grasped tightly in his hooves. Stopping on the marble floor, she raised a hoof to speak, but stopped herself as she noticed the bag, its form reverberating and causing the stallion to grunt in retaliation as he applied all of his weight to it.

Raising a brow, Rainbow leaned slightly over to assess the situation.

"I uh..." she began, "I see you got a new dog. Right on, man."

The Pegasus gave no response, his attention focused solely on the bucking bag the large, brown and white pitbull was currently charging.

"I uh, I used to have a dog like that once. We uh, we had to give him away because he... couldn't uh... walk on clouds but me personally? I'd uh... train him to go for the ballsack-"

"Just shut your mouth and show me the money."

"I'm not buyin' Ocho."

The Pegasus turned around silently, brow raised in surprise.

The mare gave a short, simple response, "I'm selling."

"Bullshit."

"Ah ah ah," Rainbow tutted, waving a hoof around with each enunciation. Reaching into her bee-striped jacket, she withdrew a baggie, the contents inside shining a brilliant white light onto the stallion's hoof as it reached for the Rocks.

"Now, tell me you've seen a finer pack of slab in your life," the mare gave a sly look toward the stallion, who motioned over to his couch and proceeded to sit down in it directly after. Sitting down, jaw barely hanging on, Ocho looked incredulously at the rainbow-maned mare sitting across from him, a pompous look on her face.

Realizing what he wanted, she chimed, "Go ahead. Try it."

Watching slyly as the stallion retrieved a knife from nearby, Rainbow looked down, noticing the pitbull currently staring at her with pleading eyes. Giving a small squee, the mare quickly looked over to the stallion to see if he had heard it. Currently preoccupied with the Rocks now spread across his knife blade, he hadn't. "Hey poochie, how ya doin'?" she asked, reaching a hoof out. Ruffling the dog's fur, Rainbow watched in amusement as it shook the appendage with her hoof.

Turning her head, she found the yellow Pegasus, eyes widened like dinner plates, shaking his head vigorously. Laughing heartily, the mare asked, "Hell yeah Ocho! What'd I tell ya?"

Looking over to the mare as if he had just been caught red-hoofed, he suddenly snapped into a normal pose, waving his hoof lightly like a school teacher, "S'all right."

"It's 'alright'?"

"Yeah," the stallion responded simply, "it's alright. So what, you're back in business?"

"Hell yeah I'm back in business."

"You might wanna tell your partner about it then."

"Dime got caught, remember?"

"Yeah, I do. He thinks you maybe, uh, dimed on him."

Restraining herself from laughing at the joke obviously not caught by the stallion, she sneered, "Whoa whoa, hey, that's bullshit. Ohco Psyche, that is bull. Shit. I should... kick his ass for even thinking that."

"You know what, Dash?" Ocho asked, face fixated in a nonchalant position, "Next time you chat with Dime, you go ahead and tell him that, alright?"

"I will-"

"Oh wait. Why don't you tell him yourself?"

Rainbow raised a brow.

"He made bail this morning."

Suddenly, as if on cue, a large, burly brown Earth pony stepped out from the staircase, stopping when in full view of the rainbow-maned mare currently biting her lower lip in nervousness, "Go ahead. Kick my ass, shithead."

"Hey listen..."

"Where'd you get this?" Ocho asked, holding the baggy with a coiled hoof practically inches away from the mare's face.

"Hm?"

"I know your blue ass didn't cook it."

Glaring angrily at the stallion, still seated on the couch, Rainbow raised a hoof to defend herself, but was halted as Ocho glared suspiciously at her, the burly brown stallion trotting up silently from behind him and giving a likewise expression.

"The hell are you, some kinda nudist?"

Turning around slightly, his right brow raised in unimpressed curiosity, the apron-wearing stallion replied, "We're ponies. We're always nude."

Obviously snuffed, Ocho raised his hoof, "That's some fine ass Rock you've been cookin'. How 'bout you," Ocho pointed a hoof to his chest, "come work for me, uh?"

Suddenly stopping, the stallion fully turned around and wiped his brow, his gas mask still attached to his forehead. The ponies stood outside in the middle of the Badlands Arid Desert, the tan RV standing idly in the hot Equis sun. Giving a look of disbelief, the light olive stallion spoke in a low voice, "I'd be willing to sell it to you, if you raise a fair price."

"Hey wait, I know you."

Turning around, Ocho found Dime trotting up next to him, the open car door behind them being a good indication of the Earth pony's ignorance, "I saw you. At the bust a few weeks ago," Dime looked over to Ocho, "talkin' to the Captain."

"He's with the DEG."

Rainbow, her teeth clenching her lip in an almost bloody embrace, looked over to Flam with a betrayed look, hearing the low but loud growl of Ocho now behind her.

"You fuckin' snitch-"

"Run Mr. White, run!"

Rainbow's head suddenly snapped forward, her partner watching in horror as she fell to the floor in a cold heap, Ocho standing ominously behind her with a pistol clasped to his hooves. Raising his forelegs and falling to his haunches, Flam's lip quivered in a mixture of anger and fright. Looking to the right in the corner of his eye, he found a large, sharp rock practically gleaming in Celestia's sunlight. Lighting his horn, he looked toward it and began to envelope it in his green aura.

The sound of something heavy clicking in place met his ears. Slowly turning his head, he found the business end of a Fetlock staring death into his forehead. Growling in resistance, Flam allowed his horn's aura to fade, watching in defeat as Ocho stood menacingly in front of him, his friend walking toward the fallen mare currently lying unconscious on the desert ground. Giving an evil grin, he gave her a swift buck to the stomach, turning her body over onto her back.

Throwing a hind leg over her body, he began to unzip his jacket with his teeth.

"Step. The fuck. Away from her." Flam demanded,

"What the hell are you gonna do about it, shit-"

"Doesn't even matter. We're gonna cap both o' you anyway," Ocho interrupted, staring unblinking daggers at Flam. Bringing the gun up to his mouth, he cocked back the slide and let it shift back into place, placing it back to its previous position and shoving it against Flam's skull, "starting with you."

"No, please-"

"You're a damn artist, 'Mr. White'. Damn shame.."

The Pegasus' hoof tip closing in on the trigger, Flam threw his hooves into the air and yelled, "Wait a minute! Wait a minute!"

Though not moving his firearm, the stallion raised his right brow, indicating his curiosity at Flam's insistence.

"I'll teach you my recipe, huh?" Flam inquired in a slightly hushed tone, as if talking to a stray dog, "how about that? You wanna cook like me?"

Ocho, still pressing the gun against Flam's skull, turned his head and looked toward Dime, who gave him a questioning look in return.

"You let us both live," Flam started, pointing a hoof to himself then to the cyan pegasus lying on the ground, "me and her. You let us both live, and I will teach you, how does that sound?"

Throwing the RV door open with his horn, Flam found himself shoved into the vehicle by a yellow foreleg, its cousin soon joining in with a silver pistol clasped to its length, immediately followed by a very unimpressed-looking Ocho Psyche, who motioned for his friend to join in, who followed suit and climbed into the RV.

Sets of glassware and chemistry equipment met the stallions' gaze, the light olive Unicorn in front already magicking the black gas mask previously sitting atop the counter and strapping it to his face. Turning his head, he surveyed the two curious ponies and spoke in a muffled voice, "I'd... put on a mask if I were you," motioning to the hat rack currently housing a wide assortment of gas masks.

"I'd cook us some Rocks if I were you, shithead. We'll be fine."

Eyes scanning the RV's interior, the stallion found no way to fend off the two possibly battle-hardened stallions standing menacingly before him. Biting his bottom lip from underneath his mask, he looked back toward the cooking supplies sitting idly by the kitchen sink.

He got it.

Standing like a statue in front of the sink, he felt a weight press into the back of his head. He didn't have to turn around to know what it was. Shutting his eyes, he whispered a prayer to himself and lit his horn, preparing to levitate the graduating cylinder to begin the process of his forced cook.

Just about to grasp the can of fertilizer in his green aura, he caught the sound of a match being struck from behind him. With a raised brow, he turned his head, finding Dime lighting a cigarette currently grasped within his teeth. As he puffed in the nicotine and breathed out a white smoke, he found the olive stallion staring at him in a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

"Put the cigarette out," he spoke through his gas mask.

The burly Earth pony stared back at him, sweat beginning to drip from his bare head. Feeling a bump at his side, he looked toward Ocho, who gave him an unimpressed look.

"Please."

Ocho gave a nod toward Flam, causing Dime to grunt in annoyance and walk toward the window behind him. Opening it with a hoof, he pursed his lips and leaned toward the window, giving a sly look at the olive Unicorn still staring back at him with disbelief. Pointing his lips toward the outside, he spat the cigarette into the desert ground, still staring nonchalantly at Flam.

Flam rolled his eyes, and immediately received a shove in retaliation from the yellow Pegasus standing behind him. Grunting in frustration, the stallion lit his horn and hovered a small pot toward the oven in front of him. Placing it onto the appliance, he reached for the heat knob with his magic, turning it to high and re-adjusting the pot to maximize its heat exposure. Suddenly noticing the feeling of the two stallions literally breathing down his neck, Flam's heart pounded in his chest.

Sweat almost dripping down his brow, he breathed in and out, lighting his horn yet again and feeling for the gallon of water by his hooves. Feeling the gun against the back of his head tense as he brought it out, it soon relaxed as he assumed that Ocho figured out what it truly was. Looking to his left and his right, finding an impatient stallion on either side, he gulped down the large lump in his throat, opening the jug and tipping it over atop the pot.

As the water began to fill the pot, his eyes wandered the various condiment containers of mixtures sitting in a row behind the oven. Raising his hoof, he passed over the containers marked Iodine and Isopropyl Alcohol, his light olive hoof landing above the jar labeled Red Phosphorous and remaining there, hovering shakily over the jar. Grabbing it, he brought it over the steaming pot and coiled his hoof around to open it.

Jumping in place, Flam found the barrel of a Fetlock placed forcefully onto the jar's lid. Looking to his left and toward the firearm's owner, he breathed a hitched breath.

"Move it, homes. We don't got all day now, do we?"

Slowly looking back toward the steaming pot, he found the barrel of a Hydra slowly rising in the right side of his view, signifying Dime's own revolver. Flinching, Flam shook his head lightly and stuttered, "O-okay."

His heart pounding, Flam slowly rotated the lid, beginning to screw it off. Placing the lid onto the counter next to him, he shut his eyes and breathed in and out for a second. Slowly raising it, he suddenly tipped it over and poured the entire jar of red powder into the pot.

The pot exploded in flames.

Thinking quickly, and sucking in a breath of now dwindling fresh air, Flam turned tail and scrammed for the door, leaving behind two very confused and now slowly dying stallions lying on the RV floor. Reaching outside, Flam immediately turned his entire body and threw all of his weight into the door, listening as the two ponies now trapped inside shouted curses at one another and to the stallion currently blocking the door from the outside.

As he struggled there, Flam flinched in surprise as he heard gunfire emerge from inside, not even looking up as bullet holes appeared from directly underneath the window, hovering dangerously over Flam's head. As the coughing from the inside began to die down, Flam, gritting his teeth in frustration, the sound of a hoof slapping against the glass resounded and echoed endlessly through Flam's head.

The yellow hoof slid down the glass window as the coughing ceased to a halt, the olive stallion safely outside hearing the sound of bodies collapsing to the ground. Five heartbeats later, Flam quickly scrambled away from the door, looking to the sky and breathing in fresh Equis air. Breathing out, he looked to his right, finding the cyan Pegasus still lying forgotten on the floor, back to the air and her head buried into the dirt.

Rushing over to his partner, Flam looked around in a panic. Finding the gas mask still lying on the desert floor, Flam lit his horn and levitated it toward the mare. Lifting her with his hooves, he magicked the gas mask onto her face, placing the straps behind her head and tightening them to his full advantage. Gulping audibly, he threw the mare over his shoulder and placed her over his back.

Rushing back toward the door, he slid the gas mask on his forehead back over his muzzle, magicked the mare, and hovered her in front of him. Opening the door, he quickly trotted to the front seat, magicking the curtains and sliding them toward the right side. Placing the mare into the open passenger seat, he took a look to the back of the RV and found the two dead corpses of Ocho and Dime lying cold on the carpet.

Lighting his horn, Flam slammed the RV door shut, jumped into the driver's seat, and threw his hoof into the clutch, pulling the RV out of the cooking site and into the Badlands.