The Strangest Things

Chapters

A New Pet
Some New Clothes
A New Voice
A New Relationship
A New Ability
A New Direction
A New Character
The Strangest Things

A New Pet

Crap. My head. I get up and look around, and find myself in the ever so scary Everfree Forest. Well, familiar as you can get when you are addicted to My Little Pony. Apparently, I just got inserted into a children’s television show. Oh, Celestia, a self-insert. Fuck. My next thought was, why are they called self-inserts if they don’t know how they got here?

My name is Nathaniel G. Slake. I am a nineteen year old zoology student with a knack for unusually cruel pranks. Mind you, they are usually hilarious. I am a Virgo, “5’9, and white with brown hair. Average in every way. Every way but one.

I love animals. Every possible minute I am with my dog, Hall, and my cat, Gregory. I have a strange obsession with the psychosis of animals, how they live, mate, socialize, etc. I am especially interested in domestic animals, and, by extension, wild animals living under a caretaker. My extensive studies of their behavior towards their surrogate caretaker brought me to the doorstep of Fluttershy, and the grand world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

I am an obsessor. I have Memorized the layout of Ponyville and the surrounding Everfree, so I know where I am right now. I am outside the path of the Entrance to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. It was lightly snowing. beautiful, but I was getting cold. The next thing I noticed is that I was completely naked. Completely. I tried to scream in horror, but no sound came out. None. It was like my voice just packed up and left. I calmed down and tried to work my voice.

“...”

Damn. What happened? I came up with several theories, in order of feasibility.

One: this is all a sick dream.

Two: I am completely BONKERS.

Three: Accidents happen.

Four: The Government is trying to do something to me.

Five: Celestia is having a laugh right now.

Six: Because Pinkie Pie.

Seven: I accidentally made a self-insert in my sleep or something.

Eight: My life is a fanfic and there are humans online reading this right now.

I saw Fluttershy’s hut. The peak of my studies could be resolved just by speaking to her. Alas, I conveniently cannot speak. I would also like to study the bone and muscle structures of the ponies here, especially the pegasi.

My mind, or at least the devious trickster part, gave me three options: Eavesdrop. Maybe, But a bit too risky. What would happen if I was caught? Hand signals or writing? Definitely a no. I didn’t want to reveal my sentient identity yet. I had a bad feeling in my gut that kept me motionless.

So there was only one somewhat viable option left for me, and that was the one I had to take. So I retreated, and thought about how to put my plan into action.

Another thought came to me. What about food and shelter. The first potion would not provide that, the second option might, but the third would definitely guarantee food and shelter, if done right. All that did was reassure my course of action.

Let it begin.

Also, Sweet Celestia it’s cold!

Fluttershy looked out from the window. The winter wrap-up was only weeks away, so the pegasi let up on the snow for a little while. She saw angel bunny sitting happily? by the fire pit outside. He was roasting what looked to be a chestnut over the fire on a stick. She smiled at the cute sight. She wished she had more animals like Angel, because he was almost sentient. But that would never happen. She sighed and got back to work. She looked out the window again and saw- What is that? She said it, not in disgust, but in wonder of the new animal before her. It was tall, a little less than six feet (or hooves) and bipedal. It had no fur except some brown hair on its head and around the groin. It was looking at the hut, and Fluttershy didn’t want to lose the opportunity to meet a new species. It looked freezing, obviously not meant for cold weather. Based on the anatomy, it was most likely a male. She quickly outside, and the animal slowly approached. He circled and slowly came to touch her mane with one of his hands. They were not clawed, like Spike’s, yet had a dexterous feeling to them, like they had the ability to so so many things unheard of to ponies. He looked slightly scared, so she quickly moved to comfort it.

“Oh, shshshshshhh... It’s okay, big guy, I’m not going to hurt you,” she said to the animal, and he visibly relaxed. She brought him into the cottage and tried to see what food he ate. He refused everything but the salad,so she assumed it was vegetarian. Bit she did a double-take at the canines and incisors in the front of its mouth. What were those for? As he explored her home, she noted a subtle and intelligent look in his movements. In her mind, the others didn’t need to know about her new pet just yet.

He seemed to follow her like a magnet, and she felt like he was something special in the animal world. She would find out. Tomorrow. She wanted to get him comfortable around her,so she let him sleep next to her for the night. His hand rested on her side, and it felt nice, soft. She sighed in comfort, and settled in. This is going to be interesting.

I couldn’t believe my luck. The plan was to be an animal under Fluttershy’s care, and she seemed as excited as I was to get me inside the cottage. I tried to tense up, look scared, and, as planned, she sprang up to comfort me. I relaxed, and let her take me inside. All the food she laid out for me was inedible, until I saw the salad. I loved salads, and this one was great, even without dressing. I looked around her home, and she proceeded to look me over. I wasn’t overly comfortable, but I let her look, and give me the cursory once-over.

It was getting late, so I followed her to where she slept. I sat down next to the bed, but she grabbed my hair with her teeth, and I ended up sleeping next to her. I rested on hand on her gently moving side, moving in and out with her breathing. She sighed, and I felt her relax. I closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me. This was going to be interesting.

Some New Clothes

Fluttershy finished making breakfast and got ready to feed the animals. It had been five days since the new animal came in, and his behavior was fascinating. After watching Shy’s communications with Angel Bunny, he seemed more open, making signals asking for certain things. It was just as intelligent as Angel, and a lot less needy. All he asked was another place to sleep, and food. He also seemed to be ashamed of his nakedness, like it was a defensive maneuver. He was obviously a lot more intelligent than he wanted to show, and ashamed about his exposure. Shy still wondered why they did not draw into his body. Oh, my. DO NOT THINK ABOUT THAT. She screwed her eyes shut and went to the kitchen.

Tee hee Fluttershy, what are you doing? Oh, hello, audience, I’m Pinkie! Just saying hi!

“Oh,” Fluttershy found Pinkie peeping from a hole in her cabinet. Pinkie withdrew her head, closed the hole, and dashed out of the cottage. Who was soon followed by Dr. Whooves (in the same cabinet, mind you) wielding his ever-so-awesome Sonic Screwdriver.

“Curse you, Pinkie! I had calibrate the TARDIS again like three times today! Stop doing that! You're going to kill somepony eventually by opening a wormhole in their chest or something!”

Fluttershy saw the- actually, what was the species named? He obviously was intelligent enough to tell him. She had found (more like caught) him two days ago writing, in Equestrian script! It was only a few words. 'Sweet Celestia Why.' Why he wrote those words was unknown. She asked him his name. He thought a moment, and got a quill and paper.

Okay, a big step here. I am sure she already knew I was intelligent, maybe like Angel Bunny. But then she asked my species name, and I knew the penny had dropped. Okay, she caught me writing earlier,but I managed to hide most of it. They were my thoughts, after all. I felt now would be a good time as any to pull a reveal.

'My name is Nathaniel Slake. I am a human, a bipedal creature related to the monkey. I was transported to the wonderful world of Equestria from a place called Earth. I am sentient, and can speak, although not at the moment, as my voice has left completely. I am nineteen, and I am a zoology student. I study and care for animals, and only pretended not to be sentient for a few days for survival reasons. I can read and write in Equestrian script, but it is called English where I am from. My hands are dexterous, and I can manipulate tools. I know your name is Fluttershy, and your five main friends are Applejack, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, who I just saw being chased through a cabinet door by Dr Whooves, and Rainbow Dash. How I know this, I will not say. If I have not overwhelmed you with this information, then please, try to get Rarity to make me some clothing. It is rather cold before Winter Wrap-Up. Thank you.'

“So, you can talk?”

I nodded my head. Shy had fainted and now just recovered.

“But you don’t want the others to know about it yet.”

I nodded my head.

“So what do you want me to do about the clothes?”

I scribbled on a piece of paper: just ask.

“Oh, okay. But no one but me knows you are intelligent, right?”

I nodded.

“But you will have to come with me to Rarity’s place for the measurements. So let’s go, that is, if you want to.”

I beckoned out the door.

“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is- Oh my, Fluttershy, what animal is that?”

“This is a human, and I was wondering if you could help him. You see, he is not suited for this cold weather, and needs clothing. So, could you do it?”

“Oh, my, darling, of course you can! So let me just get my measurements ready... Oh, darling, can he follow directions?”

“N-no.”

“Oh, dear, that’s a shame. So just get him to stand still while I-”

I, of course, was staring at Rarity, actually her horn. I reached out and touched it, and started poking through her mane. I snuck a wink at Fluttershy.

“Oh, s-stop that, now, that’s not right Mr. Human.”

She pulled me away with her teeth.

“Sorry, he can get a bit antsy.”

“No problem, darling. Now, let’s get started.”

“Wow, these new clothes look great on you.” Fluttershy looked away and smiled.

I was wearing a simple olive green tee shirt that fit wonderfully, and shorts similar to khakis. I was carrying a navy blue sweater, and some long pants similar to blue jeans. I even got underwear! The style in the pants, along with all the clothing, was nothing short of fabulous. I felt a lot more comfortable in public now, even if I have to be treated, and act, like an animal. We made our way back to Fluttershy’s cottage.

“So,” she said, “when are we gonna tell the others?”

I wrote down a big number 7 on my notepad.

“So, in a week?”

I nodded my head.

“What do we do in the meantime?”

I scribbled for a minute.

'I can help care for the animals. I am an animal caretaker, after all.'

“I think we’re going to be good friends, Nathan. That is, if you want to.”

A/N Thanks for reading all this way into my not self insert! Please post ideas, comments, and criticisms in the comments section below. I thank you for your time.

A New Voice

Working with Shy has been a blast. We take care of the animals together, and it takes a lot of the load off her back. I thoroughly enjoy how the animals look the same, but act entirely different. They come when called, and seem to be almost completely domesticated. Fluttershy was the nicest mare you could hope to work with She is caring, understanding, and tolerates mistakes. She is super nice, and as sweet as sugar. She’s- oh, you probably don’t want to hear my ramblings. I like to think we’ve grown close. She seems... more open, I guess. A bit more talkative. Voicing her opinions. Also, Angel Bunny is no angel. He bit me like five times in the last four days. He seems possessive of Fluttershy, and doesn’t like me one bit. But still, working and living with Fluttershy has been a unique experience.

Cough, cough.

I have a sore throat. Good sign or bad? Maybe I’ll finally be able to speak.

“Oh, my, are you alright?” Fluttershy looked concerned. Dawwwww. “I can make some herbal tea, that would help the cough and maybe help the problem with your voice.”

I nodded my approval. The tea she gave me was bitter, but it did help me with my sore throat. I tried talking. A harsh wheezing came out. Wasn’t pretty, but a good sign. I kept exercising my voice, and hopefully I can get back to full functionality eventually. In the meantime, I needed some fun. I wrote the word ‘cupcake’ on my notepad and pointed at my mouth. Fluttershy nodded in understanding, and beckoned me to follow. Then she stopped for a moment, and asked,

“Are You sure you want Pinkie to see you?”

I nodded my approval.

“Okay...”

You see, Pinkie was just the pony I needed to get everypony comfortable with me. After all, she makes friends with everyone. *Simulated evil laughter here*

“Hi Fluttershy! What is that thing behind you? It’s neat! Is it a new animal?”

“Yes, it’s a human...”

“Ooh, cool! What was it you wanted, anyway?”

“One dozen vanilla cupcakes, please.”

“Sure, coming right up! Why so many? You don’t normally eat so much sugar.”

“Oh, he wanted some,” she said, gesturing to me. “He likes sweets.”

“Coooooooool. Does he have a name? What does he do?”

“Yeah, his name is Nathaniel, or Nathan, but I call him Nate. He’s really nice, and the other animals seem to like him alot more than Angel Bunny. Plus, he can help me move things if I ask him to.”

“Nice. Here’s your cupcakes, now if you’ll excuse me....” With that, she dashed off to who knows where.

As we were walking home, Fluttershy started to ask me a question.

“Um, I was meaning to ask you this, but, um, do you-” She trailed off, and looked a little sheepish. She calmed herself down, and finished her sentence. “like me?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, a look of shock on my face. NOT THE QUESTION I WAS EXPECTING. *Grabs Torch* BACK, SEXUAL IMAGES, BACK I SAY! But regardless, I turned to her, and nodded with a slight smile, accompanied with a slight blush. She kept walking, but she was noticeably closer, almost touching my leg. She looked up and smiled.

“That’s good, because I think I like you too. It’s always nice to find a kindred soul. Oh, we’re home.”

BOOM!

The distinct firing signature of the party cannon rang through the air.

“Not good. Not good at all. They’re going to make a mess!”

I looked at her with a look of confusion on my face. We walked into the room and read the banner.

NEW PET PARTY. I facepalmed. Pinkie looked exited as soon as we walked in the door.

“Surprise! Time for a party!!”

“Pinkie, what did you do?” asked Fluttershy.

“Weeeellllllll, when Ifound out you had a new super special awesome new pet, and I kinda hadn’t thrown a party in a while, so I thought this deserved a party!”

All the other of the Mane Six were there, and that included Twilight. Rarity looked absolutely ecstatic that the clothes she made fit wonderfully, and the other three just stared in amazement. Twilight was the first to recover from the shock of seeing me.

“Fluttershy, what is that?”

“Oh, um, this is a human, a bipedal animal related to the monkey. This one’s name is Nathaniel, or Nathan, but I call him Nate.” She blushed.

“Well, why is it wearing clothes?”

Rarity stepped in for that one. “It’s not adapted for winter weather, and it probably only lives in tropical climates.“

“Well, after the party, could we maybe go and run some tests in the library?”

The entire time, I was eating all the cupcakes I could get my hands on. Pinkie was a remarkable baker. However, I stopped cold when Twilight said tests, and dropped the cupcake I was eating. I quickly ran to crouch behind Fluttershy. Oh, Celestia. Tests By Twilight TM should be used as torture by the Chinese military or something, they were that bad.

“Oh my, Twilight, you scared him. He can tell what you want to do, and your intentions, by the tone in your voice. It’s actually quite interesting. But he hates tests. He wouldn’t even let me give him a checkout on the first day I found him.”

Good. Fluttershy was still hiding my intelligence. Wait, Fluttershy would lie for me? D’awwwwwwwwwww. Then I saw slowly stood up and began to back away.

Twilight was still interested with me.

“He seems to have imprinted on you, Fluttershy, yet he seems almost full grown,” Twilight made a lap around me. “I wonder why... also, his hands seem much more dexterous than on Spike, so I wonder what they are for. There are five fingers on it, giving him better grip, and he has no claws. Not for attacking, then. So it seems they are used either for climbing or manipulating tools.”

Woah, all that from a few moments of observation? I started sweating.

“Oh, his emotion sense knows what scrutiny is, huh? I just have this hunch that he’s hiding something...”

I bolted into the woods.

“You scared him off... do you know what time it is? Nine-thirty. The sun went down at seven today... Nate is in danger! He ran into the Everfree...” Fluttershy trailed off, tears in her eyes.

The rest of the Mane Six looked at Twilight.

“Well!?” said Applejack, “Get over there and go’n fin’ Nathan! You done made Fluttershy cry, so you gotta go out there’n fix it!”

“Oh, okay!” Twilight snapped back to reality. “You’re right, Applejack. This was my fault, so I have to go fix it.”

I ran through the darkness of the Everfree. As I ran, I raged. I can’t let my cover be blown. Not now. I honestly didn’t know why, but I suddenly thought of a good reason. I don’t want my life to end up like a lame self-insert on FimFiction! I like the Mane six just the way they are, and I don’t want some crazy destiny that probably involves The Nightmare and Princess Celestia. I don’t want their lives to revolve around an alien thing whose only skills were the ability to talk! I sure don’t know how to get home, but if I’m stuck here, I don’t need center stage.

I look up at what I was running at. Fuck.

The light coming off of Twilight’s horn revealed a horrible sight. Nathan, obviously paralyzed with fear, staring up at a manticore. Ok, Nathan, just don’t panic, and I will come in and calm down our little friend. Please have good instincts, human.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!! I vomited as I saw the two ton beast of a manticore standing in front of me. Even with my animal handling skills can’t handle something like this. (Note that my animal handling skills extend to my roommate Jordan, who is a complete druggie.I found all eleven of his bongs and burned them. He’s such a bitch.) I tried to look in its eyes. I found no hatred there, so I approached slowly. I raised my hands and slowly approached. The manticore tensed and I saw its back leg muscles ripple. I flinched as it lunged, and, even as Twilight cast a spell that stopped the manticore cold, I let loose the most human sound I made since I came here. As Twilight watched in amazement, I screamed.

Oh, shit’s hitting the fan now.

A/N: My chapters are a bit longer, no? Chapters are coming a bit farther apart, so read my other fanfic, I Miss You, Dashie. Thanks for following so closely. KTHXBAI!

A New Relationship

I looked once at Twilight and the now immobile Manticore, and ran again. Crap! Of all the times I could have gotten my voice back, it was in front of Twilight! As I ran, I tried forming words.

“H-ha, wh- *cough cough* -hoah. I c-can sorta talk again! But what should I do?” My voice was rough, but it was my voice once again! I don’t know whether the cupcakes helped any, or what, so I just assumed it was because I was eating again.

I decide to take the most dramatic choice of action, and tore ass back to the cottage. As I entered the cottage, I grabbed Fluttershy around the waist, picked her up (as she is surprisingly light) and ran off. I don't know why I did what I did, as Fluttershy fainted in my arms, so I booked it. Unfortunately, that gave Twilight the time to catch up.

“Wait! Please don’t run away! Just stay calm Nathan... okay, put Fluttershy down, now, easy, easy.”

I lowered Fluttershy to the ground and backed away.

“Good boy. Now, will you come here for a second? I won’t hurt you...” She had an unsettling look on her face, and as I tried to back away further, I found that I couldn’t. Then I noticed the lavender aura now surrounding me. Crap. “How did you scream like that? Hang on.” Her horn glowed, and I felt a tingling sensation in my throat. “Your vocal cords are very well developed... I wouldn’t be surprised if you could be taught how to speak, as you seem intelligent enough.”

A smile spread across my face. This could easily be the meal ticket I was asking for. However, this smile quickly faded, then turned to panic. Unfortunately, this meal ticket had a barcode on the back. Tests. Twilight would obviously love to run more tests, and I would be found out, eventually. What do I have for advantages? Let’s see. I’m still technically an animal, so I still have ambiguity. It’s vital that Twilight thinks I’m learning how to speak, not simply speaking. I REALLY don’t need the spotlight, because I was never especially liked in school, and never learned to like being popular. Okay. What else? Fluttershy seems as keen on protecting me as she does on caring for me. So I stay by Fluttershy’s side, and I “develop” my voice.

After everypony left, I looked around to make sure we were alone.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy looked concerned.

“I’m alright.” I said nonchalantly.

“Nate! You’re talking! That’s wonderful!” She pulled me into a hug, which I didn’t mind returning. We stayed hugging for about five minutes, and then broke. Fluttershy looked a bit flustered, and I wondered what she was thinking about. I blushed, then returned to my room, to my sleeping area. Bus Fluttershy would have none of it. She, once again, dragged me with her teeth to her bedroom, and plopped me down on her bed.

Fluttershy had something of a reason for getting me to sleep next to her. “You have been sleeping in my house for a few days now, so you technically live here. Now that you can speak, you are my intellectual equal.”

“But-”

She cut me off. “You are my equal, and I-” she cut off abruptly, and her voice softened, “I like you... So you are sleeping here, from now on. I get rather lonely.”

“I don’t know if-”

“Please, for me?”

“Okay, Fluttershy. I’m getting in the bed.”

I couldn’t argue, more correctly, she wouldn’t let me argue. So, I slipped into bed next to her. She snuggled closer, and I felt hot and uncomfortable, yet it felt good, too.

Get yourself together, man! She’s not even the same species! It’s not supposed to feel good!

But my sense of reason was proven futile at the knowledge that Spike found his affection for Rarity to simply be a crush, not a taboo in any way. So interspecies marriage is accepted here. I sighed. I guess I should enjoy it while I could. I wrapped my arm around her, and we drifted off to sleep.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Nate.”

I didn’t notice the pair of eyes glinting from the bedroom window.

As Twilight left the party, she thought over what she learned today. Homo sapiens, or humans, were almost sentient creatures that walked on two legs. No fur, and had a small, scraggly mane. No cutie marks, either, and adapted for warm weather. Nathan needed to wear clothes, and he seemed uncomfortable with tests. He didn’t trust her. He seemed attached to Fluttershy, and also seemed protective of her. He was kind, a gentle animal, and always seemed to think about things before he did them, like he was trying to prevent or avoid something. How Nathan got here was a mystery to her, but she had to find out. The student and detective in her would not have it any other way. She needed more information. Maybe his sleep and living arrangements would reveal more.

Twilight crept up to the bedroom window in Fluttershy’s cottage, wearing a all black suit. She peered up tho the windowsill and listened. She heard snippets of conversation.

“-I get rather lonely.” Fluttershy’s voice.

“I don’t know if-”

“Please, for me?” That voice! Twilight never heard that voice before! Fluttershy seemed to be pleading with him. Who could it be?

A pause in the conversation, then this:

“Good night.”

“Good night, Nate.”

Nathan! Fluttershy and Nathan were sharing a bed?! And Nathan could already talk?! Sweet Celestia! And how come the voices seemed so, so, tender? Unless- do they love each other? How long has this been going on? A week? Twilight had to protect her friend, and that animal was dangerous to her mental health. He was seducing her, for crying out loud! No one else needs to know about this, but Nathaniel, you are going DOWN.

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I hope you like the not self-insert! Nate doesn’t want to be the center of the story that he is already the center of! Heheheh... Thanks for reading!

A New Ability

“Hello, Twilight.”

“Oh, hello, Fluttershy, Nathan. What brings you here?”

Oh, I’ve been having a lot of downtime lately, because now Nate helps me. So I thought I could check out some books!”

“Great!”

This was my first time inside Twilight’s library, and it was actually rather awesome. The walls were lined with books, and everything was spic a"nd span, thanks to Spike. Fluttershy was browsing the isles. I had no idea what she would read. She stopped to grab books at three spots, and settled on a Daring Doo book, some books on flight, and a basic magical theory book.

“Okay, have these back by Monday next week, and I guess I’ll see you around.”

The smile on Twilight’s face was fake and forced, so I squinted at her. She saw us out, and we made it back to the cottage. I had a protective and loving hand on Fluttershy's back the entire time, and she always seemed to be walking a little bit closer than before.

I grabbed the book on magical theory, and began to read.

"Welcome, unicorn, to Basic Magical Theory. We will be learning what magic is, how to cast it, and what spells are best suited to your magic type."

“Chapter One: Magic energy”

“Magic, like lightning or light, is an energy operating at a high frequency. This frequency is special, being the most compact on the wavelength spectrum. This allows it to manipulate almost anything in the space-time continuum. But there are many mysteries surrounding magic, the first one being how it affects the world around us. Magic appears as a force, yet is controllable. Like turning on a flash light, magic can be switched on and off, but can be controlled...”

I skipped a few pages, until I hit the chapter on Magic Theory.

“Unicorns are the only type of ponies that can use magic directly. That is because wings and legs cannot be used as magic conduits. Horns do not provide locomotion, and have no real use in movement. Some animals can flow magic through arms or fingers, as they cannot use their arms in everyday locomotion.”

Arms and fingers... I focused, imagining a current flowing through my arms, and a ball appeared in my arms. It was the size of an orange, it glowed gently and shone with a reflective light. I closed my hand, and the ball disappeared.

“Dude, I know that I hated on Gary Stu, like ‘omg that’s so cheap’, but this is batshit insane!”

Good thing I whispered, cause Fluttershy was in the other room. I turned to the “Identify your powers” page.

“Let the energy flow to your horn, and a ball should appear. Note its size and color.

Large: Powerful, but uncontrollable. Grapefruit size or larger. Proceed with caution.

Medium: Good power, and good control. No ending the world for you, but with training, you can become great.

Small: Not much power here, so focus on technique. This power level can be used for manipulation of small arms or other small items, so don’t think you’re defenseless.

Now, onto color.

Yellow/White: General. Focus on the basics.

Red: Fire! Burn, baby!

Blue: Lightning/Elemental. Be careful. Nature magic can be fickle.

Orange: Summon/Manipulation. Again, be careful. Manipulation magic is very unstable.

Purple: Power and Force. Use only when required, or you might kill something.

Silver: Scrying and Indirect Influence. By far the most versatile, don’t overexert yourself.”

I turned to the section on Scrying and Indirect Influence:

“If anyone asks you, technically, you are a spy! Scrying is the art of secret spying. Scrying energy is treated as a fluid, with the consistency of a smoothie. To begin, imagine a small ball of water in front of your face. Now, imagine a pony, or a place. If done correctly, you should see that pony or that place in the orb that you create. Try it now.”

I focused on the energy gathering in my palm, and a large orb of silvery energy focused in my hand. I imagined Twilight’s library, and I saw Spike. Spike was eating jewels out of the small safe in Twilight’s bedroom. I shifted my focus, and I saw Twilight, oblivious to what was happening upstairs, but not to what was happening in front of her. She looked up from the book she was reading, and looked directly at me, like she knew my scrying energy was there. I quickly cut the connection. I continued reading.

“If you were to imagine yourself, then you would find yourself looking into a random point in the past! Try it now.”

This could be my opportunity to see my family again! I haven’t thought about them for so long, I almost forgot. I focused. When I looked in the orb, I saw a large asian boy, maybe fourteen, typing at a Macbook. He was wearing a purple shirt, and seemed to be laughing at something, like he was reading a page on middle awareness on TV Tropes or something. I always found that page funny. Weird. The orb rippled, and I saw a multicolored tunnel, and me floating in it, naked. I was staring at all the colors around me, and I reached out to touch the sides of the tunnel. The silver wall I touched flowed into my body, and I fell, down, down, down, into the snow of the Everfree Forest.

A/N: So, that’s it, I guess. Also, help me with a beter cover art. Sorry it's so short... KTHXBAI!

A New Direction

Twilight was doing research. Lots of research. She wanted to find out just what a human was, and why it seemed like Nathan loved Fluttershy. Fluttershy loved all her animals, and cross-species relationships were not necessarily taboo, but why did Fluttershy fall for him, instead of someone her own species? It’s unnatural. It’s unfeasible. It’s... it’s...

Twilight couldn’t think of any possible argument. And that was the problem. This animal, regardless if it was actually him speaking, or maybe it was just Fluttershy had her coltfriend over, and they spent the night together or something, was bad news. She could feel it in her gut. There were no books in her library on humans, and Twilight would know. She catalogued and re-catalogued these books herself, and knew them outside in. There was only one other library that could hold any further reading. She had to get to Canterlot.

Looking for medicinal herbs was one of my favorite parts of the animal caretaker job. I had grabbed a dark blue plant, with broad leaves. The bulb looked like it could be good for eating, and the leaves, as they were spined, were clearly edible. Unfortunately for me, Equestrian plants must have developed differently, as the bright colors and spines were not signs of self-defence, but a warning system. It was screaming: Do Not Touch. I Am Poisonous. It’s too bad I blacked out before I could hear it.

I woke up in a hospital bed. Fluttershy was nervously pacing, crying, the whole nine yards, and all the rest of the Mane Cast were there, except Twilight. Maybe she had something to do. Fluttershy ran up to me.

“I was so worried! I found you lying unconscious in a bed of Poison Joke, and you wouldn’t wake up! I brought you back to my cottage, but I couldn't help, so I brought you to the Ponyville Pet hospital. I volunteer there quite a bit, so they’re treating you for free!”

Applejack was confused. “I don’t reckon he can understand ya, sugarcube.”

“It helps calm my nerves.”

“Oh, alright, then.” Applejack was squinting at Fluttershy. “I just hope you ain't lyin’ is all.”

Poison Joke... I’ll have to remember that. I began to reach out to touch Shy’s face. I got halfway there. Oops. Good night. I blacked out again.

Twilight was browsing the Canterlot library. In the animals section, she must have gone through those scrolls dozens of times. That is, until she found a thin scroll, worn and battered, way in the back. She began to read.

‘Humans. Homo sapiens. First recorded sighting by famous wizard Star Swirl the Bearded. Considered a threat to ponykind. Tall, about six feet in height, they weighed anywhere between one hundred and three hundred pounds. They developed steel and gunpowder, and invented many of the languages in use today, such as Prench, Neighponeese, and even modern Equestrian. As they became more powerful and grew in numbers, they created great civilizations in the south. As they developed technology, they slowly became the dominant race on Equestria. They swarmed north, killing millions of ponies with their technology. This is the main reason of the current gender imbalance, as many of the stallions were killed in the war. They invented even better weapons, which hit the pinnacle of destruction with the invention of the atomic bomb, which was followed by the hydrogen bomb. The weapons became so powerful, that humans felt threatened by themselves. They declared war on each other, and denied the ponykind’s interventions for peace. The race exterminated itself about two thousand years ago, and most traces of their mighty civilizations were wiped from the history books as a blemish on the ponykind’s good name.’

“Aha!” Twilight used a locator spell to teleport next to Fluttershy. Wait till she reads this.

Hazy voices hovered around my head.

‘Clear!’

‘Something’s not right here...’

‘Possibly an allergic reaction?’ Applejack.

‘Not sure. But his heart rate is going down.’

‘We need more time!’

‘Look at this. Extreme swelling of the lungs.’

‘It’s like he fell asleep in it or something. Or maybe he ate the bulb.’

‘Not much we can do now.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Nathan! Please don’t die!’ Fluttershy’s voice. I still couldn’t see anything beyond general light and darkness, and the voices were getting fainter. I knew what was happening. I was dying, wasn’t I? Probably. I still loved Fluttershy with all my heart, be it protective or intimate, I wasn’t quite sure. But I loved her regardless. I managed one word before I grew too weak to move.

“Goodbye...”

Twilight teleported outside a hospital. Fluttershy was crying, and a long bag was being dragged out the back. Unfortunately for Fluttershy, Twilight was too flushed with victory to notice.

“Look, Fluttershy! The humans existed, but they were evil! They caused wars, and killed ponies, and exterminated themselves!” Twilight was unusually happy to be talking about this subject. "Nathan isn’t an animal, he’ a threat. After all, humans went extinct over two thousand years ago! They killed themselves!”

“No...”

Twilight was confused. “What do you mean, no?”

Fluttershy turned to Twilight, angry tears in her eyes. “Humans weren't evil, and they didn’t go extinct two thousand years ago. They went extinct five minutes ago. Nathan is dead.”

A/N: Here. Eat this chapter, chew it thoroughly, and barf it all as hate comments below. Thank you.

A New Character

You know, audience, it’s surprising how long a single pony can cry. I haven’t seen Fluttershy for like three days. But she’s had animals die before, and she always cried, but never this long. I always wondered where Nathan came from. He was a great animal, and a big one at that. But I can’t really call him an animal, can I. He talked, I know that much. At the very end, he said goodbye, and I guess that’s all a pony can ask for... He was a kind soul. I hope Shy will be okay... this reminds me of a song I know, made by a great team of ponies, and it still brings back memories. I wonder what it’s like for Nathan, now that he’s... somewhere else. I won’t tell you what’s on the other side, silly. Cause if I tell you, it won’t be a surprise!

Black. That’s all I see. It’s pitch dark, and I’m in a box. I can’t breathe. I bang on the metal lid of the box, but it won’t budge. Where am I? I shrunk into a ball, because to my great embarrassment and fear, I am severely claustrophobic. Severely. If you don’t know what it’s like to be faced with a phobia, it’s the worst experience you can imagine. Especially claustrophobia. The thing about claustrophobia is it’s inescapable. Being trapped in a box and having just that being your worst fear makes it the worst of all. I’m sweating and crying and screaming for somepony or somebody or something or anything at all, even death itself, to come take me out of this living hell that is the solid steel box I’m in. Is this actually my eternal punishment? To suffocate in a box until I break? I’m crying and acting like a scared animal. I felt so used to where I lived, and I feel like I lived there forever. My mind retreats into an analytical mode. What many people don’t know, is when an animal is introduced to a new and comforting environment, and when the animal is open to the affection, even for a short amount of time, it grows used to that environment. If it is returned to where it was from, it will be hard to adapt back into it. And I fear it is too late for my subconscious to go back to being a sentient species. I’m an animal, and now, it will be hard, even if I am in hell, to go back. Unfortunately for me, my train of thought was interrupted by me asphyxiating. Bummer. But at least I know I’m alive. For now.

The box is scraped frantically by metal, what sounds like shovels. The lid cracks open, and two men are staring into the box.

“Is your name Nathaniel Gerald Slake?”

I nodded vigorously, still crying and curled into a ball.

“Congratulations, Nathaniel. You just came back from the dead.”

My family was crying and laughing and hugging and kissing and talking and moving and doing so many other things it confused me. Apparently I had been in a coma for about two months, and died about three days ago. I was immediately ushered into a hospital. I was stuck full of needles and had someone watching over me constantly, along with pills and multivitamins, because I apparently never ate for three days. I never had a chance to tell my family or friends at the college about my “experience”, I shrunk back from all the attention, the lavishing, and the gushy love I was getting. I was drawn in, reserved, less open to the humans around me. Maybe that’s why I was admitted to The Center for Teen Mental Rehabilitation, or something like that. ‘Good thing I was still magical’, I thought, as the orb of silver light cast eerie shadows across my room.

I can’t say that Dr. Sidiki was a bad woman, but I couldn’t help but be intimidated by her. Standing at about six foot six, she towered over me by at least seven inches. Her features were soft, but her mannerisms and body language gave that she was a person used to giving orders and having them obeyed. The alpha male, or in this case, the Alpha psychiatrist. She was flanked by her beta, a Dr. Swartz. I liked her more than I did Dr. Sidiki. Luckily for me, She was the one who did all the tests and interviews. I wouldn’t talk to anyone. According to my tests, I wasn’t crazy, but I wasn’t acting like a human As you can see, I was right. I stayed in the psych ward for about three days, playing with my magic, until something happened.

A silhouette of a lithe girl appeared in my window.

I stared into the window and saw him wink out his magic and look at me. Curly hair, and kind of cute. Blue eyes, a soft face, and he looked like a gentle guy. Man, these new hormones are really messing me up. According to Twilight, he was the one to find. Nathaniel G. Slake, the animal husbandry and zoology major. The description fit, right down to the scrying magic.

But I guess I should tell you about me first. I’m wearing a black out suit, and a hat. My long dark hair is tied into a ponytail, which I find amusing, and I’m wearing comfortable tennis shoes, which don’t match my suit at all. Ever since my world was turned upside down, in the very same Institute where Nathan is, I traveled, looking for job, for money, for someone to help me, or maybe someone with the same problem as me. I guess I can be called a brony, or a pegasister, or whatever. But that’s not important right now.. I’m here to retrieve Nathan, because he is vital to an entire world. My world.

My name is Jade, and Fluttershy is crying.

A/N: Heheheheheheheheheh... Oh, read Equestria In Human, please.

The Strangest Things

“Where exactly are we going again?”

Me and the girl who appeared in my window, whose name was apparently Jade, were riding in a Greyhound bus that was heading to the northeast. There were only three or four passengers on board, a dark-skinned man, a large wrestler looking guy, an elderly woman, and a young man, maybe twenty five.

“New York. I have a safe house there in the Bronx, and we can figure out just what happened with you. As you now know, my name is Jade. You, Nathan, are vital to someone dear to one of my friends.”

“Honestly, I find this all a bit ridiculous.”

“You should, but it’s not.” She pulled out two short rods out of her messenger bag. They looked like lightbulbs on sticks. “But we shouldn’t talk here. It could be dangerous. Your magic and my magic are similar, but somewhat weak in comparison to the other people. And this bus doesn’t exactly make me feel secure.”

At that, she closed her eyes, and stared at the large black man, who was staring at me for a while now. He squinted, and the bus came to a halt at Times Square.

“Let’s go.”

We step off quickly, and the man follows. As we tried to get lost in the crowd, the man got more aggressive, more forceful. He placed a hand on Jade’s shoulder.

“I’ve been looking for you, girl. I think you can help me.”

At this point, I decided to be stupid and punch the man in the jaw.

“You think you can beat me? I have a world of knowledge in my brain. The intelligence of the future! A man gave me powers like no other! And now, you die!”

He lunged at me, his arm morphing into a wicked looking blade. I dived to the left, and all the people around us scattered in fear. But not Jade. She closed her eyes, and the two sticks floated in the air. With a clench of her fists, the batons charged with a bright blue electricity, and started spinning.

“Nathan!” she called, as she was busy fighting odd Mr. Prototype, “How far were you in your studies on indirect influence?”

“Not far.”

“Well, first think of concentrating the air to solid mass using magic. Then figure it out.”

I focused, and the air concentrated into a ball I could feel. I flung it at the man, who winced and turned to look at me.

“Bad move.”

I tried again, and a wall of shining air appeared, which Mr. Prototype bounced off of as he tried to rush me. I smiled. Time to go videogame on this guy. A dozen spines of light appeared, and I launched them with magic, one at a time, directly at him, so he had to focus on dodging. That gave Jade enough time to get him with her buzz batons. He stumbled, but did not fall.

“It will take more than that to kill me!”

Jade grumbled, Wasn’t trying to kill you.”

I tried a different tact, and formed a cube around him. Man, this was fun. I shrunk down the cube, tossed it into the air, and shot several light spears after it. I had to say it.

“Pull!” I said as the spears launched.

He managed to break the cube and salsh most of my spears out of the sky. But one hit him in the arm, and he went down, hitting his head in the sidewalk. Jade buzzed him for good measure.

“Let’s go,” she said, and we walked to her safe house, leaving Mr. Prototype unconscious, and her body language just a little bit more open, connected, alive.

In the safe house, I finally relaxed. I thought there were more than just Mr. Prototype running around, but what I was really scared of was the fact that we were in Times Square. Super public, and there was a magic show of death in the middle of a crowd.

“Finally safe.” said Jade, plopping on a couch, “Now, let’s get working on how to get you back to Fluttershy.”

“You have scrying magic, correct?”

“Yeah,”

“I guess that means I have to train you, then. I am of the white magic, that allows me rudimentary, rough, versions of all the others. When trained, you could easily beat me in an influence duel, but I’m a wild card.” She smiled. “A jack of all trades.”

I still didn’t know who this person was, but she was my last shot at staying safe.

“OK, train me.”

Two weeks later...

Jade looked over the training that had just ensued.

“Good. You have a powerful imagination, and that helps immensely. Although when summoning air minions, you seem to like stick figures with shields and spears, and I don’t exactly know why.”

“Easier to control.”

“True, but there’s no flair, no style! The enemy will be distracted by the power, the look of an angry Spartan, or the sound of a charging Minotaur. Not stick figures. Presentation is key.”

“But the stick figures will make my opponent underestimate the weapons I gave them. They’re poisoned with concentrated cigarette smoke. And the shields freeze things on contact. Solid nitrogen can do that.”

“You can specify and gather specific gases and compounds? I can’t do that. I guess I hit my limits on how much I can teach you. So now, time to regain my honor on the battlefield.”

They fell laughing to the ground, another type of fight ensued. Surprisingly enough, they had grown close over the training period, and it was time for the daily tickle fight. No need to get into specifics.

“Fluttershy, are you okay?”

Twilight entered Fluttershy’s cottage. Fluttershy was curled into a ball, still crying, still shivering, still stunned. Twilight still didn’t understand why Fluttershy was still crying. She picked her up with magic, and set her down on the couch.

“Fluttershy, you cried long enough. I don’t think you cried for a pet for so long.”

“I wasn’t crying for a pet.”

“Then what are you crying for?”

“Nathan.”

“But Nathan was a pet, just an animal, right?” Twi still wasn’t sure if he talked or not.

“Nathan was a companion, and an equal, but he was never a pet. He, if anything else, was a friend. The best friend I’ve ever had. Even,” she blushed, despite her tears. “ eventually, more than that, given time.”

Twilight decided now was the best time to reveal what was happening. Jae had told her what had happened, and what they could do.

“Fluttershy, Nathan wasn’t from this world, or even from this universe. He was a human, a super advanced race from the planet Earth. He was sent here by accident, from his family and friends. And with what just happened, I believe Nathan is alive.”

“Really?”

“And we can bring him back. He is currently with Jade, and they are hearty and healthy, and growing close... oops.” Twilight shut her mouth, but the words already escaped.

“Really?!” Fluttershy thought for a moment. “But that wouldn’t do, would it. It seems that Jade and Nathan are having a good time, and I don’t want to tear him away from his life again. Tell Jade that I’m fine that he is alive. And to have a good life.”

You know, being alone just doesn’t work for me. I like being with ponies, or people, or intelligent beings of any kind. I’m having a good life, developing my skills, traveling with Jade, and armed with the knowledge that there are others like her out there, others that want to hurt us, and that we can handle ourselves. And through it all, Fluttershy was okay with it. My almost pony girlfriend is okay with me being with my magic for sure girlfriend. And I still love them both.

Man, sometimes, I go through the strangest things.

The End