A little nutty

by PonyEssence

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 2235

Pinkie Pie decides that it would be a good idea to eat a small jar of peanut butter. What do you think will happen?

Pinkie eats a bottle of peanut butter that Discord gave her to make special cookies and is soon unable to speak. Only after he eats a small amount of it does Pinkie concede to him and gives the peanut butter a try. She soon finds that maybe it isn't a good idea to eat large amounts of peanut butter.

(Teen because of the possible references and cruel humor!)

Published 2014-03-02 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-02 01:00:01 UTC

This butter is hard to eat

The sun shown down unto the ponies of Ponyville with great radiance. It was nearing seventy-two degrees so nopony was wearing anything except those who wore ties with every living moment of their lives. Ponies could be seen trotting along the roads or spending their time with friends and family or maybe even smooching with their dates as they slowly lost their bodies to the deadly gases and toxins the roamed the air due to pony farts.

The pegasi had made a massive rainbow ever head and Rainbow Dash was the obvious lead of the group. It shown brighter than most an cast glorious colors lights over Ponyville. The ponies all basked in the lights the would cause eventual skin cancer.

Little fillies and colts played behind the school on the recently built playground, constructed from ponies that wallowed in the pity of others and were bound to have poor jobs and short life spans from the beginning. But that was the only playground they had so thats were all the snot leaking, dirt covered, and flea infested ponies played.

Scootaloo was sitting on Apple Blooms shoulders while she stood on her hind legs. Sweetie Belle stood back and watched as inevitable failure swooped over them and Apple Bloom started running about, trying to regain her balance. Soon, what what was bound to happen from the beginning happened and Apple Bloom lost all control, resulting in Scootaloo falling on one of the colts that was rolling around in the grass, causing one of the best ball-taps to occur in pony history. It was especially funny because the colt was Pip-squeak and he let of the most heavily accented screeches to ever be heard by pony ears without the overall lose of more than two barrels of pony blood.

Out side of Sugercube corner, fifteen tables, all having some sort of covering or decoration, sat. Most of them were lined with ponies while one of them only had one pony in it's general area. That table only sat a petty looking, small white unicorn who went by the name of Rarity. One of the few ponies in town that had a rather small amount of friends. That being because she had an obsession with trying to get ponies be be as proper as possible.

After a few minutes of laughing at the moping Rarity from behind a window, Pinkie decided to get back to the baking she had to do. It was the moment Pinkie turned around when Discord popped out of nowhere. Derpy also came into the store just to walk up to the Cakes and leave in a derped up rage screaming Snowflakes name.

Discord soon snapped her back to reality before Pinkie was able to start laughing at the random thoughts of Snowflake getting an unexpected gender change.

" Now now Pinkie. We don't want your thoughts roaming freely like that. Your sure to cause a great mess. "

Pinkie looked up at him and snarled. "What do you want mr.! I know where you live an i'll make you wish I didn't have thoughts like that!"

Discord froze but soon recovered and made the lower half of his body disappear before Pinkie closed in on him. " Oh Pinkie," he carried his normal tone even though he was scared for his own precious children of joy and pleasure," lets not go making assumptions. I didn't come here to cause trouble, I simply just want to show you this!" He held out a jar of what looked like a thick brown substance that she had never seen. The logo said DIF but it was clear that the first letter was drawn over.

Pinkie intervened, " Whats that!? Is it some sort of bomb that came from another world and hasn't been invented here in equestria yet!?" Or is it..." Discord zapped hushed her with a hand over her mouth but she kept on mumbling on anyway. After a few minutes, he consorted to taking her mouth away. Even so, she found a way to keep on making noise so Discord just went on with his short speech.

" This, you see, is much, much better than that. This little tub will satisfy even the biggest and most sincere of your desires! This will do anything wether you want to make things stay together, or if you want the to fall apart. It will even fill up somepony who has a void for a stomach!"Just to prove it, he opened the jar and scoped up a small amount with his claw. He started to maniacally laugh when Pinkie jumped up and grabbed the jar out of his palm just to rub the insides on her face. Her ramblings went on into something more that sound like " MY MOUTH! MY MOUTH" but Discord couldn't be sure as it was just mumbles.

Discord used his own magic to give Pinkie her mouth back so she wouldn't find out that it didn't solve anything. She quickly used her new mouth and tongue to lick all the brown stuff from her face. " YUM. This is good!" She started shoving more into her mouth.

" Um, Pinkie. I don't think thats a good idea." She still went on even though she had been warned. Soon, all the contents of the jar were in her mouth, where she could swallow it all in one large gulp. This time, Discord did get his laughs out, but these laughs were from watching Pinkie than from doing something evil."

No matter show she struggle, she couldn't get the substance down her throat, or out of her mouth. Discord started laughing harder and harder, eventually falling to the floor from laughing so hard. " Im sorry Pinkie, but I most go now before you have me do anything to help you." He curtsied to her before he spoke has last few words," Oh. And it's called peanut butter." He disappeared in a flash of blinding light before Pinkie could tackle him to the ground. However, she did interrupt the happenings of three flies. One of which had what looked like a camera and was directing the other two into a very awkward situation for any of the ponies who may have seen them.

She bucked whatever was behind her out of rage. Strangely enough, when she went to find whoever she had bucked, all she could find was a mysterious force that felt like the lower body of a certain God of chaos.

....

After a little bit of fun and torture, Pinkie was ready to set off and find a way to get the peanut butter out of her mouth. She opened up the front door to find Rarity still moping at her lack of friends and the knowledge that she would never become a Canterlot big-shot. However, she did brighten up when she saw Pinkie running in her direction. With every step, Rarity's smile got bigger and bigger. Half way to her, Rarity was still brightening. Three quarters and she was shaking in her seat, anticipating a giant hug from Pinkie. Rarity threw her fore legs out for Pinkies embrace. Seconds later, she opened them to see Pinkie run by her and hear what sounded Pinkie yelling out, " Get over yourself!" She quickly fell back into her depression and started to cry on the table.

Pinkie soon found the cutie mark crusaders along with a small crying colt out behind the school. The colt had his fore hooves held to his lower body. It was... strangely ironic but Pinkie didn't take time to dwell on what had happened. She ran up to the CMC's and picked Scootaloo off the ground. She started shaking him with a large amount of force. It wasn't till she started to turn a shade of green did Pinkie put her down and tried to actually communicate with them.

Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle all watched her in confusion she started mumbling. To them, they saw Pinkie being Pinkie and just pushed off her intrusion. Scootaloo started laughing when she noticed Pipsqueak start to cry loudly again instead of the silent cries he was giving off just recently.

Pinkie started to boil with rage and started to put all her weight on one hoof in hopes to see what had interrupted her pleas for help. She didn't see anything because she was to close to the edge of what she was on to find what she was so she went back to begging the fillies for help.

After about five minutes of constant hoof stomps and loud and sudden cries from an unseen pony, she gave up on the CMC's and went to find somepony else to help.

Soon enough, she ran into Snowflake. Someone that she wouldn't have to worry about seriously hurting because of all the steroids he had been taking. He was out behind all the houses in ponyville and was ready to eat his last muffin when she tackled him and started to scream. Again with her unnatural strength, she was able to shake him more than any other mare over would be able to. Because of the peanut butter that was still stuck in her mouth, when ever she screamed at him, all he could hear were unclear mumbles that might be able to be interpreted with enough time.

It was at the time when he found that she was screaming "GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT OUT OF ME!" when Derpy arrived with her boiling rage. As she tried to figure out what was happening, Pinkie kept on violently shaking him and he started yelling," I CAN'T GET IT OUT! WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT IT IN, THEN WHY DID YOU PUT IT IN THERE!?". His yelling caught Derpy up on what she though was happening and she flew off. Granted, it was a little hard considering the forces that were working through her body that were making her flight a little stiff.

Snowflake started to cry as any big stallion should in these kinds of situation, causing Pinkie to loose all hope in him. She bounded off to find a more reliable source of help. She was going to a place where she could get help from all of her best friends. Hopefully Rarity was still at Sugarcube Corner.

....

Pinkie was racing towards the Library. She and her friends were all supposed to meet there. She could only hope that Rarity would be a little late to the get-together.

Sorrowfully for Pinkie, when she opened the door to the the giant, lumbering piece of wood that was just waiting for a storm to come and blow over, Rarity was already there. And she was crying too. Into the arms of Twilight Sparkle who didn't look to happy.Once Rarity saw her, she pointed to the Pink Mare, but it only got worse when she noticed that she was there.

" Pinkie! What did you do!" Even though Twilight was doing her best to conceal how mad she was, it was obvious to Pinkie. She shrunk back in the corner, now knowing what she did wrong.

She did her best to speak but the butter in her mouth was still keeping her from talking. All she could do was shrink back into the corner. That was, until Twilight picked her up with her magic and floated her closer to her face and said, " I SAID, WHAT DID YOU DO!" At this time, she was already back on the floor like everyone else there.

Rarity spoke up. " S-she," Twilight looked over at her," told me t-t-to get over m-m-myself." Twilight sharply turned her head back to Pinkie.

"PINKIE"

A sudden flash enveloped the room and Discord appeared. A very, very, in pain looking Discord. " Pinkie, i'll take it out of you mouth if you give me them back!" Discord was shivering and kept his leg crossed the whole time. " Please Pinkie. I'm begging you to have mercy on me!" She quickly nodded her head and took a very tall and wide jar that was to big to fit in her hair out of her hair where it had been resting all day. Discord quickly used his magic to put all his body parts back where they needed to be. " Ah. Now. To for-fill m part of the bargain.

A small flash enveloped Pinkies mouth but disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared. " Now Pinkie, I will tell you now for you hospitably, don't ever make a bargain with me again. " With a snap of his finger, Discord disappeared from sight.

Twilight recovered from her daze. " What just happened!?"

" I stole one of his legs because he tricked me into eating a whole jar of peanut butter!"

"P-Peanut Butter?"

" YA! You should try it!"

Author's Note

One more fic by me in hopes that I find what im good at when it comes to writing! And go ahead and write a fic about what she did to Dicords lower body! Im surly not going to. Just be sure to send me a link so I can give you credit.

Oh. And I might rewrite this for those of you who dislike that more inappropriate stuff