Scootaloo's suicide

by sweetapple_fireplumelove

Rating: teen
Tags: Cutie Mark Crusaders, Tragedy, Scootaloo, Slice of Life, Sweetie Belle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Sad
Length: 1545

basically scootallo jumping off of ghastly gorge

Scootaloo ran away three months ago from her abusive mother. She thinks she's worthless, and will never fly. She thinks she will not be missed. Here's how she finally got to fly
(Also some romance, not much more of admitting feelings)
THERE WILL BE A SECOND CHAPTER FROM SWEETIEBELLES POINT OF VEIW.
Also, those who read, this is my first time trying a fic with true, real emotions. I tried to put my own personal feelings in pony form. Let me know how I did?

Published 2014-03-02 01:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-02 01:10:07 UTC

the suicide

THREE MONTHS EARLIER.

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID PEGASUS, YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER!" Mom screamed at me. She was always this way when she was drunk.

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU PUT DOWN THAT FUCKING BOTTLE HE WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT US!" I screamed back at her. I saw a reflection of anger in her purple eyes. I immediatly reggretted what I said.

"Your father left us because of you, you worthless bird. At least he could fly, unlike you." She spat, hatefully. She came towards me, raising her hoof. I slowly backed away and bumped into the door. I slowly reached my hoof behind me, and I opened the door. I heard the hit before I felt it. I looked at her, and said the one thing I've always wanted to say.

"I'm leaving. and by the way, hitting me wont bring him back, bitch." I turned and ran as fast as I could, to the one place I knew I'd be safe. The clubhouse.
PRESENT DAY.

I looked at the small, orange Pegasus that stood before me. I hated her. She always had a messy, ugly purple mane. She was worthless. She was a stupid, ugly, worthless Pegasus. She always cried, and she always screamed. Her stupid dreams and hopes disgusted me. She thought that somepony actually cared about her. She always messed up. She never did anything right. She couldn’t even fly. Who could ever like a Pegasus that couldn’t even fly? She shouldn’t have ever been born. She was the living definition of failure.

“You’re a stupid, ugly, worthless failure! You’re a flightless bird, no wonder you have no friends! You shouldn’t even be alive!” I said to her. She looked back at me with teary eyes, and I felt sorry for her. I saw that my words had hurt her.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I reached my hoof out to comfort her, and stopped when my hoof touched the smooth glass of the mirror. I felt my eyes tear up and I looked away from the disgrace that was my reflection.

I felt the tears run down my face, burning my cheeks. I looked back in the mirror, trying to find a smile, but found none. It was normal for me to lose my smile when I’m alone. The only place I find my smile is around SweetieBelle. She’s so perfect. I would never have a chance with her. Does she even like fillies? Nah, she’s not a filly-fooler. I sat on the floor, and thought about SweetieBelle, and why I was still alive. I thought about the friends that I barley even saw, and wondered if they even cared about me. If I died, they would move on, I thought. They have Twist, and Dinky to keep them company. I curled up in my little corner of the clubhouse, or as I recently started to call it, my home.
I wondered what would happen if someone found out that I lived here. Would I have to go back to mom? I cringed at the thought. I never wanted to go back there, as much as she loved me, she always drank, and hit me. It was a punishment for being useless, and I agreed with her, but people started asking why I had bruises all the time. I thought it would be better if I just ended it. Every pony would be happier that way. I took out a piece of paper and found a pen. I started to write.
Every pony,
No pony knows me. They know me, but they don’t know the real me. I live here, in the clubhouse. I’ve lived here for about three months. My mom drank and hit me for being useless. I know I am. No pony has cared about me, so I’m choosing to end my life; no pony wants a flightless Pegasus, who can’t ever get anything right. I’ve tried to live, but it feels impossible and I think this is the only way out. Maybe when I jump, I’ll finally be able to fly, and make you guys proud. I’m sorry everypony but I want to finally be able to fly. SweetieBelle, I’m sorry you had to hear it this way, but I love you, you’re perfect.
-Scootaloo

I walked out of the clubhouse and felt the early morning dew beneath my hooves. I walked through the soft grass of the Apple Family Orchid, and thought about how I was going to do it. Maybe I can jump off of Ghastly Gorge. I thought. It would be painless, even though I’m scared of heights. Maybe someone will find the note before I jump. I thought, as I kept trotting towards the gorge. Is it really as dangerous as Rainbow says it is?Will anypony even notice that I’m gone? All these questions ran through my head as I crossed the Apple’s property.

“Hey Scoot, where are y’all goin?” I heard AppleBloom shout at me. I stopped and thought for a second. Why should she care? She’d just try to stop me to watch me suffer. I thought.

“I’m...um...just going for a walk.” I told her, as I kept walking.

"Are y'all still going to meet me an' SweeteiBelle at the clubhouse later?" she asked.

"I think so" I replied, sadly. I knew I was lying, and I felt bad for it. AppleBloom shrugged and continued her chores.

she doesn't even care. I thought, as I passed the schoolhouse. I thought about my grades as i trotted past my second home. I'm a few years older than my friends, but I'm in the same grade as them. It was only because I failed the last three years. Scootaloo why do you have to be such a failure? You can’t even pass elementary school! You useless, flightless bird! I thought. Maybe when I jump I’ll finally fly! I thought with a smile.

I trotted while thinking of what it's like to die. Not looking where I was going, I ran into somepony.

"owwww." I said, as i realised that I knocked Rainbow Dash over.

OH MY GOD! RAINBOW, ARE YOU OKAY?" I asked, worried that I had hurt her. Scootaloo, you idiot! You should have been paying attention to where you're going! I scolded myself.

I remembered that Dash was supposed to meet us at the clubhouse, to show us her newest trick. I froze when she started to speak,

“Hey kid, shouldn’t you be at the clubhouse with SweetieBelle and AppleBloom?” asked Rainbow Dash. I stopped, scared. I didn’t know how to answer. Do I tell her where I’m going? Or maybe I should lie. Wait... the others are supposed to meet me in the clubhouse today! Ponyfeathers! They probably already read the note, and are going to come and stop me!

“You okay, Scoots?”

“Uh...yeah...gotta go! See you later Dash!” I shouted as I started to run. I turned and looked at her. She looked back at me with a look of confusion, and I shrugged and kept running.

I ran until I lost sight of Ponyville. I sat on the cool grass, and looked around. I saw that I was near my old house. Maybe i should go say goodbye to mom. Naw, she’s probably passed out drunk on the couch. I thought. The thought of her not caring brought tears to my eyes. She’ll be fine, it’s not like she cares. I told myself as I walked past the worn down, weathered house. I’m pretty close to the gorge. I thought. Soon I’ll be able to fly where nobody can hurt me. I smiled at the thought. I knew nobody would follow me, if they were going to, they would’ve caught up already.

I looked down at the gorge. It was going to be a really long fall. Maybe if I flap my wings and try to fly, I’ll fly out of the gorge. You’re flying out anyways, stupid. I told myself
I took a step forward, preparing to jump. I stopped when I heard something.

“SCOOTALOO! WHAT THE HAY ARE Y’ALL DOIN AT THE EDGE OF THAT GORGE?” AppleJack shouted. I turned around, and saw that she, AppleBloom, SweetieBelle, and Rainbow Dash were all running towards me. I panicked and turned around.

“I’m sorry guys, but I want to fly.” I shouted, as I took my final step and let myself fall.

“SCOOTALOO!” I heard them all scream, as I fell. I closed my eyes and imagined I was flying. I felt what it was like to fly, for the first time in my life. Suddenly, memories of my friends and I started playing in my head. I remembered the camping trip from a week ago, the night Rainbow Dash took me under her wing. I could hear her words echo in my head,

“So, you're looking for somepony to take you under their wing, huh? Yeah, I might be up for something like that.”
I kept falling, as memories of my friends and I, laughing, and playing, played through my head. I opened my eyes to see the ground rush up to greet me.

“Goodbye” I whispered with a sigh, as I hit the ground with a thud. I was finally flying. I was free.