Cleaned, Fixed, and Flushed

by DouglasTrotter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3469

Princess Celestia has a problem with her "other royal throne" and requires assistance to fix it.

Each morning is rather typical. Princess Luna lowers the moon and Princess Celestia takes over to raise the sun. Today would be no different if it weren't for a problem with the "other royal throne" that Princess Celestia uses. A letter about a certain group of fillies and progress in their talents gives the regal mare an idea on how to remedy her problem.

A/N (4/21/14): Downloaded the story and updated the grammar quirks. Removed several unneeded names for Celestia, altered the text to streamline it a bit, and took out some parts that felt redundant. If there are any other grammar quirks, feel free to drop a comment. The only way one can learn is if they are told and showed where they failed.

Published 2014-03-02 02:50:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-02 02:50:08 UTC

Cutie Mark Crusader "Other Royal Throne" Fixers

Light penetrated the crystal clear windows, and reflected off of the polished marble floors and columns in the hallways of Canterlot Castle. While Princess Celestia slept in her bed and Princess Luna watched over Equestria’s majestic night, the castle’s beautiful red carpet, with gold trim, had been freshly cleaned by the nightkeepers.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna began their rituals as the moon started its descent into the distant horizon; the two mares journeyed down the opulent hallway towards the royal kitchen. Discord slunk around the large open space, proclaiming he was looking for his lost love “Lenore.”

Princess Celestia stopped for a second and rolled her eyes at the comical creature before she continued her small trek. It was in the kitchen that she passed by her sister. After kind hello, followed with a polite nod, Princess Luna retired to her private chambers for a bit of well earned rest.

With the job traded to her, along with her daily royal brew acquired, Princess Celestia raised the sun during the small trip back to her private chamber. Her eyes fixated on Discord for a moment, the creature still looking for his “lost love.”

Back in her bedroom, Princess Celestia sat on a soft pillow near her dresser. She combed her flowing mane while an attendant, with a fresh stack of papers in her hooves, stood by her.

“Ahem. Princess Celestia,” the earth pony said in a dignified tone, “your duties for today are as follows. First on the agenda is the king of the griffon kingdom; he wants you to attend the wedding ceremony of his daughter and the famed warrior Blacktalon. The royal advisors agree this is a perfect opportunity to increase our relations with other neighboring countries, so we can prepare for times of uncertainty. Second on the list is your meeting with the mayors of the various townsfolk of Equestria to discuss matters. In. Regards to…” The attendant’s voice trailed. She watched the pony clutch her stomach. A growl -- unlike anything the earth pony attendant had ever heard before -- resonated off the walls. Papers slid out of the attendant’s right hoof. “Are you alright? Your Highness, do I need to summon a physician?!”

“No, no,” Princess Celestia said in her usual kind soft voice, “I just need to visit the royal throne. The ‘other’ royal throne, if you know what I mean.”

After a quick bow, the attendant gathered her papers and left. A few short moments passed in the royal hallway before the quick sound of a gasp bored its way through the beautiful, ornate wooden door that led to the bedroom.

“Princess?” the attended said while she knocked on the door. Silence, there was nothing but silence from the other end, and several seconds passed before the mare opened the door. She peered inside to see it empty. The earth pony mare said with a confident, loud tone into the room, “Do you require assistance?”

A firm, muffled “no” came from inside the bathroom. Princess Celestia’s voice cracked however. The attendant listened through the door to the other royal throne room to a nervous toned voice say, “No… please no… no, don’t do this to me.”

“May I come in?” the earth pony said, her attempt to enter the bathroom stopped; the door being sealed shut by lock and magic. She maintained her confident tone and said, “I can assure you that I am more than qualified to assist in the matters of fixing the ‘royal throne.’”

“That’s alright my dear. I think it – ack!” The regal mare said.

As she knocked on the door once more, the princess let the attendant in. To her delight, the mare had brought several towels from the hamper.

Each resumed their prior tasks as the sun continued to rise, after washing their hooves. Streaks of white smoke wafted into the royal bedroom, through the nearby opening that led towards the balcony. It coalesced, and then a flash of light interrupted them. Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow at the scroll, the note appearing thicker than usual.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

I wanted to give you an update on my continued studies and research, and, unfortunately, the box appears impregnable. Though I do have some theories as to how to open it, I’m sad to say I don’t believe they’ll bear any fruit at this current point in time.” Princess Celestia said to herself in a quiet voice. The pony’s eyes fixated on a small portion towards the end. “…I’m happy to say that ‘Twilight Time’ with the Cutie Mark Crusaders has gone better than expected. Applebloom made quite a few strides in her alchemical abilities, despite a few ‘explosive’ setbacks. Scootaloo proved herself to be a rather determined filly; she has a great knack in her talents to dismantle and fix things. Also, I find myself enthralled with Sweetie Belle’s progress in regards to her magic; the unicorn couldn’t lift a single grain of rice when she first started. After two weeks of study however, she can lift a large table with several books on it. I do believe, with more practice, all of them will earn their cutie marks in no time. Sincerely, your once and always faithful student now turned princess, Twilight Sparkle.”

Princess Celestia stared at the note and tapped her hoof against her chin. Her eyes glanced towards the room where her “problem” resided before they returned to their original focus. After a quiet chuckle, her horn began to glow a yellowish hue. A piece of paper and freshly inked pen levitated away from the nearby assistant. Both mares resumed their tasks after the letter had been sent towards its recipient.

In the corner of the room, the grandfather clock’s pendulum continued its slow, rhythmic motion. The ornamental piece began to chime, and, with the ninth chime, the attendant gave a bow to Princess Celestia. Before the earth pony could leave, the regal mare turned to her attendant and said with a smile, “Thank you for the assistance today. It was most welcomed.”

Light from Princess Celestia’s spell reflected off the chamber’s surfaces and curtains, and her attendant’s glasses. It took mere seconds for the confines of the Ponyville library to illuminate with that same flash of light.

“Where might I find Twilight?” Princess Celestia said to the three fillies in the room. The little ponies stared at each other, trotted towards her, and bowed before they gave a polite shrug. “Do you not know where she is right now?”

“I’m sorry Princess Celestia. I don’t know where Princess Twil… I mean, where Twilight went. She asked us to practice some more today. That was it,” Scootaloo said in a nervous tone. The filly felt at ease as a gentle, kind hoof was placed on her shoulder. “Sorry.”

“That’s quite alright. There’s no reason to be nervous. I hope my former pupil received the letter that I sent her. Though, to be rather honest, I’m here for you. In actuality, I’m here for all of you. I have a rather urgent matter that I could use some assistance with right now. My ‘throne’ has a problem and I could use some—”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Throne Servicers!” The three fillies said in unison, causing Princess Celestia to unfold her wings and pull back a bit.

“—my, that is quite the enthusiasm. Do you know what I mean by my ‘throne,’ exactly?” she said with a cheery smile.

“Ah know,” Apple Bloom said in a confident voice. “Don’t worry Princess Celestia. We’ll take care of your problem. Scoots, get your tools. Ah’ll get mah chemistry set. Sweetie Belle, ah think the princess has what you’ll need. We’ll fix up that royal throne in the great hall without a problem.”

“No, no, no. I’m talking about my ‘other’ royal throne,” Princess Celestia said with a sheepish grin. Awkward seconds ticked by before the mare said, “It’s the other royal throne. The throne I use for my early morning duties.”

Scootaloo’s eyes glanced at the bathroom in the library before they looked towards Princess Celestia, seeing the princess give a slight nod. The filly pegasus turned towards her earth pony friend, “Apple Bloom, I think Princess Celestia is trying to telling us her toilet is broke.”

“Ewww...” Sweetie Belle said as she shied away. The unicorn filly turned towards her friends, completing their small circle. “Well, we did promise to help out. A promise is a promise, and it wouldn’t be kind or right to back out on a promise, especially to Princess Celestia. Go ahead and grab your tools Scootaloo. Same goes for you and your chemistry set Apple Bloom. Also, what did you mean that the princess would ‘have what ah need’ if you weren’t thinking about her ‘other royal throne?’”

“Ah kinda thought she meant another royal throne chair she sits in for special meetings. Princess Celestia might have the instruction manual for it in case the damage was worse than all of us thought. Your magic could help out by levitating the manual near me and Scootaloo while we repair the throne. I would whip up some wood glue while Scootaloo would use it to repair a broken foot or somethin’.”

“Of all the lame brained ideas,” Sweetie Belle said, pointing her right hoof at Apple Bloom. After her earth pony friend stuck her tongue out, soon giving a devilish grin, the unicorn used her magic to bring her closer. “Hey!”

Scootaloo jumped into the fray. Their quarrel was short lived however. With a lone book falling from the shelves and hitting the ground, Princess Celestia stepped in-between the three fillies. “Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo. Apple Bloom. Let’s be rational. You are all friends, are you not? Besides, I do need your help. ‘A promise is a promise’ if I might recall, Ms. Sweetie Belle.”

A unison “sorry” came to Princess Celestia’s ears as the three fillies bashfully procured their things. The regal mare lowered herself to the ground. She gave a nod and a smile to Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo as they climbed onto her back.

“Hang on.” She said. Princess Celestia maintained her cheery smile as she floated into the air with her passengers. “I’ve never teleported with more than just myself and Twilight before.”

*** *** ***

It remained silent; the private chamber remained eerily quiet with the only sound being that of the grandfather clock in the corner to break the tension. Two hours had passed since the three fillies arrived in the regal mare’s bedroom and begun their assessment. After a small quarrel between the three about Sweetie Belle asking Princess Celestia to teach her about teleportation, each pony had gotten to work.

Princess Celestia sipped on some tea while she sat on her soft pillow, raising a curious eyebrow ever so often.

“Try it now Scootaloo,” Applebloom said.

The pegasus filly’s hoof shook while it neared the toilet’s ornate golden lever. Sweat formed on her forehead. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Princess Celestia looked on, but nothing came from the toilet. Though the lever refused to flush the toilet, Scootaloo found the bathtub’s hot water faucet happy to oblige. “Wha, how, why… Can that even be possible? This is a lot harder than fixing a unicycle.”

“It’s alright Scoot. Ya did your best,” Apple Bloom said as she stared at her chemistry set. “I’m just glad ah remember it being Acid on Water instead of the other way around. That would have been a real mess. Umm… thanks again for reminding me, Princess Celestia.”

“Not a problem Apple Bloom. Why don’t you three take a break? We’ve been at this for quite some time, and the problem isn’t going anywhere. Would you like something to eat? I’m quite the cook as Twilight can attest.” Princess Celestia said with a cheery smile. She led the three fillies down the hallway from her room, making sure their hooves were cleaned as to not make more of a mess for the night crew, and opened the door to the kitchen as they approached the end of their small journey. “Now, what would you like? There’s quite the stock of items in here from all over Equestria. I even have some ‘delicious,’ sweetened zap apple jam preserves that go wonderfully on golden toast.”

As they sat down near the table, the three fillies stared at the floor from atop their stools near the kitchen’s small island. Sweetie Belle’s heavy sigh echoed in the space as the princess prepared some snacks. Scootaloo hopped up and down on her stool, her stomach letting out an all too familiar rumble to Princess Celestia.

“Whoops,” Scootaloo said as she caught a bottle after knocking into the counter behind her. The pegasus filly gave a sheepish grin and placed the bottle back in its proper place. “What is that thing? How do you get an egg inside of a bottle anyways?”

“Believe it or not my little pony, that was one of Twilight’s first experiments in the realm of science. You put a flame inside of a bottle, and—“Princess Celestia said.

“Wait, I remember this one.” Apple Bloom said, being polite to raise her hoof before she continued. “Twilight told me about it yesterday. The flame can change the pressure in the bottle. That change in pressure sucks the egg into it.”

“You are quite astute, Apple Bloom. Though it is a rather simple experiment, there is more to Equestria than magic. It is through science and magic that ponies can shape our world beyond what we know, be they unicorn, pegasi or earth.”

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle munched on their sandwiches, Princess Celestia looking onward with a happy expression. Scootaloo popped up and said, “thamph iff. Gah! Mouth full there, I mean that’s it. If we get a big enough bottle, we can suck the problem out. We just need to put a cap on it to create enough of a ‘change in pressure’ and then uncork it to use as a strong vacuum cleaner. Would you mind if we tried that idea, Princess Celestia?”

“I do have a rather large glass water jug in the closet. But how do you intend to change the pressure in the bottle? The gasses from the pipes are rather dangerous. I would like my castle left intact, my little ponies.” She said, finishing with a cunning, devilish grin while she closed her eyes.

“O… right, the gasses.” Apple Bloom said as she turned to Scootaloo. “Some things can be rather flammable, heh heh. Ah thought Twilight and mah sister were gonna go ballistic when we blew up that small grain silo on the farm.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this ‘we’ part?” Sweetie Belle said. “You were the one who wanted to test… out—that’s it. Your X O thermo whosits potion made so much heat that it almost melted the iron.”

The three fillies turned to each other. With a piece of scratch paper provided, they sketched out their plan for one final attack on their nemesis.

Their lunch consumed and Princess Celestia thanked for the meal provided, the three fillies returned to the other royal throne room.

“You broke the snake we used on you. Ya avoided all our efforts to fix ya. Now is the time of your demise.” The three said in succession, one after another.

“Umm, please remember to leave my bathroom, and to a greater extent ‘my castle’ intact. Above all else though, please be cautious. I don't want you to injure yourselves,” Princess Celestia said as she watched Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo work.

Scootaloo set about her task. She cobbled together the device and Applebloom added several small drops of her freshly finished potion to it. Sweetie Belle, after she received a nod from her two friends, levitated the contraption into the toilet and held it in place. A loud thud emanated from it after five seconds passed by. The three fillies turned towards one another. They turned toward Princess Celestia who, in turn, raised an eyebrow at them.

“It’s stuck,” Sweetie Belle said. Sweat poured from her forehead while she continued to pull on the device with her magic. A final pull loosened it and caused the contraption to tip onto the floor. “Eww, what is that? It smells nasty.”

“A blue horn?” Princess Celestia said, her eyes fixated on the object. “Discord….”

“You rang?” The misshapen entity said as he appeared in the room. “Lenore. Where did you go off to you naughty horn? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Huh? A part of yer body went missin’?” Apple Bloom said with a confused look on her face.

“No. Parts of my body don’t just go ‘missin’’ my dear filly. I was rather bored. I decided to embark on a bit of a scavenger hunt. Where ever did you find it? Also, what’s that foul, acrid stench? O no… AGGG!” Discord said with a shout as he teleported out the room, the four ponies laughing at him.

“I must admit. That was quite a riot,” Princess Celestia chuckled with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. “How ever did you know your device would work?”

Scootaloo and Applebloom gave a polite smile to their friend before they nudged her forward. Sweetie Belle cleared her throat and said, “It seemed rather easy since we knew about each other’s talents. Apple Bloom’s potion would heat up the bottle, but it has a strange side effect. What we didn’t mention was that after the silo explosion, it seemed like it snowed in the area. Twilight was kind of astounded at Apple Bloom’s discovery of a liquid that heats up in a rather quick manner before it rapidly cools to below freezing. It would change the air pressure in the container like Twilight’s experiment that we saw in the kitchen. Scootaloo rigged it up to the plunger by cutting a hole where the handle would go, so we had a sight seal. I held it down with my magic, and that was that. I’m still surprised Discord’s horn broke the drain snake Scootaloo used when we first arrived.”

“Hello?” a voice said from behind the door that led to Princess Celestia’s bedroom. “Princess Celestia, are you there?”

“Twilight, how are you my dear? It seems your pupils managed to assist me with my little problem.” Princess Celestia said with a kind smile.

“I heard. It’s quite exciting to hear about their new progress.” Twilight said. She motioned for her teacher to come closer. “I hope they weren’t too much trouble. Please tell me they didn’t blow anything up. It took me forever to fix that silo on Applejack’s farm. That thing had been empty of grain dust for quite some time, so I was surprised that Apple Bloom’s little potion did so much damage to it.”

“No worries my dear,” Princess Celestia said. She walked towards the Cutie Mark Crusaders and grinned at the three fillies near her. “Your pupils did quite the fantastic job. It was a bit of trial and error, but they succeeded in their endeavors.”

“Cutie Mark Crusader ‘Other Throne Fixers’ at your service!” the three fillies smiled at their mentors. “Thank you for lunch Princess Celestia, it was delicious.”

“What lunch?” Twilight said. She turned towards her mentor. “You haven’t made lunch since I was a little filly."

“How about I remedy that problem, and we all get a bit of a late snack. I wouldn’t mind a bit of cake for myself.” Princess Celestia said to the four ponies in front of her. “By the way Twilight, I meant to ask, did you receive my letter? I expected to see you in the library, but you were nowhere around.”

“I went out for the day.” Twilight said. She explained the situation as all of them headed to the kitchen, all of them passing Discord while he slinked around the hallway. “Apparently, Spike was doing some of his own ‘morning chores’ in our ‘throne room’ of sorts. I found your note in the trash. Spike ‘says’ that he reached for a tissue and grabbed your message by mistake. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with him. Also, what is up with Discord?”

“It’s a long story.” Sweetie Belle said.

The four ponies sat down at the kitchen table, the Cutie Mark Crusaders chuckling at one another. Light came through the window embedded in the door to the kitchen and reflected off of a nearby metal tin before it hit the glass bottle on the counter with the egg inside. Twilight giggled to herself as she spotted the experiment and sat down besides her students, all of them ready for an afternoon snack courtesy of Princess Celestia.