The Dreamcatcher in the Wall

With each passing hour in the Judge's chair, Twilight regretted pestering Princess Celestia for more responsibilities just a little bit more. The task of presiding over a litany of civil lawsuits -mostly among Canterlotians, but also including upper-crust Manehattenites and Las Pegasi- and a handful of petty crimes would only be mind-numbingly tedious if the average pony was capable of basic logic, but alas, that appeared to not be the case. The plaintiffs and their attorneys almost always acted as though the defending party's actions were as grave as say contributing to the return of Nightmare Moon, even though the vast majority of cases revolved around accusations of slander and libel and the "criminals" were more often than not unaware of their words or actions being offensive prior to the trials. Consequently, Princess Sparkle spent the day wondering how her mentor kept a grip on her sanity while dealing with this for over a thousand years, especially without any emotional support like the kind Twilight had from her friends and family.

The only thing that kept Twilight awake to the last trial was Princess Celestia's playful offer/threat to "let" Twilight help with managing Equestria's distribution of funding if running a court proved to not be sufficiently engaging for her. The last trial, however, was a severe breach of the preceding pattern of boredom and nagging leading up to it, like a cliff at the end of a long road with potholes in only the most inconvenient places. Twilight snapped fully alert when she identified the defendant, which was seconds before the bailiff began reading off the trial introduction from a scroll.

"The Court will now address the case of The Ponies vs-" the bailiff began, looking as bored as Twilight felt, as though in his eyes this last case was no different from any other.

"TRIXIE!" Twilight shouted, her flaring temper losing steam to the way the blue unicorn flinched away from her voice. For that matter, so did most of the other ponies in the courtroom, and with a few seconds of reflection, the new Princess realized that she had unintentionally used the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"-Lulamoon." The bailiff used those seconds to continue, eerily unperturbed. "The defendant is facing a number of charges, including-"

"WHAT THE HAY DID YOU DO THIS TIME! HOW MANY SECOND CHANCES DO YOU NEED?"

"... unlicensed ownership of a potent magical artifact, unlicensed use of Dark Magic, hostile acquisition of Equestrian territory, assault on a Princess, assault on Equestrian citizens, and willful endangerment of a town populace, and of their property. Four of these charges also count as High Treason. Recom-"

"Wait wait wait," Twilight interrupted the bailiff for the third time. Everypony looked at her. "Is this about that incident with the Alicorn Amulet? That was almost two years ago! Why is this case only being brought to court today, and why as the last possible item on the docket?"

"There was... some debate among the general populace regarding the ethical merit of pressing charges..." the prosecuting attorney responded hesitantly, sweating bullets and adjusting his collar with a hoof. "The residents of Ponyville refused to push the case to court, citing lack of concern. Further, claims that the Amulet was controlling the defendant make it difficult to ascertain how much credit for her actions go to her."

"Okay... so why are we bothering with this at all? She wasn't in control of her actions, the residents of Ponyville don't care and most likely wouldn't remember her name if asked-" Twilight paused momentarily as she noticed Trixie cringing again, this time in response to the forgotten name bit. (How odd), she thought, losing track of her protest of the trial.

"With all due respect, Your Majesty," the prosecutor began, trying to phrase his response to maintain the image of the maximum possible guilt for the defendant. "Regardless of her excuses, the defendant has confessed to a series of capital offenses. Her actions cannot simply be brushed aside! She MUST answer for her crimes!"

"I see." Twilight responded, mustering as much patience as she could manage. To distract her mind away from allowing the sheer inanity of this case being the cherry on top of the huge parfait of ridiculous things she had to put up with in this room, she wondered why "Patience" wasn't an Element of Harmony. "Tell me, what were the actions recommended to me as a response to these crimes?"

"Well, you see Princess, given that she committed a number of capital offenses, only proportionate retribution has been selected."

"Such as...?"

"The most popular sentence among those voting is Execution. Of course, Life in Tartarus and Exile to the Badlands have also been proposed and are widely accepted alternatives. We only wish to see justice served."

"Who exactly constitutes "we", and why are you so interested in seeing a homeless pony die or worse?"

"Why, the Founder's Committee, of co-"

"I am not exactly homeless." Trixie said, breaking the spell of her unnervingly long bout of silence and replacing it with two mysteries: her use of an appropriate speech pattern, and how exactly she managed to find living arrangements. But those were a matter for another time.

"That's not the point, Trixie." Twilight corrected the blue mare, her exasperation slowly overcoming her efforts to distract herself as she gradually became aware that she couldn't. "The point is it appears that what I'm looking at here is a case of the social elite looking for an excuse to legally justify abusing the inherent rights of a pony who is not one of them. And worse, trying to get me to sponsor that abuse. If that is not the case, then please, Mr. Open Docket, explain to me why I got that impression."

"Your Majesty, please," the attorney begged as though he were the one on trial. Then again, at this point, he might as well have been. "That mare is a vile criminal! She does not deserve the basic rights Princess Celestia has granted to ponies because she has deprived other ponies of those same rights!"

"Mr. Docket..." Twilight started, leaning a cheek against her left forehoof and treating the courtroom to a thoughtful glare. "You stated previously that the defendant confessed to her crimes, did you not?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. Even she is aware of her own guilt."

"Really. Then I request that you summon the officer who received her confession to the stand as the first witness."

"What? But you can't-"

"Do it!"

"...at once, Princess."