War of virtue and vice

Woe unto [them that are] mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink

~Isaiah 5:22

Rage was all I could feel. Not at anyone else, but at myself. I was on my fourth shot of whiskey when anger began to go from simmer to full on boil. For my entire life I had always believed in balance, and mainly in my case be good but know evil (hey, you never know when it will come in handy). Though I've accepted the demons that come with these ideas...

Snap that bitch's arm...

...'Shut up!' I thought as I took another shot of whiskey. These voices, has been growing in the back of my head non-stop for a month. At first, I just simply shrugged it off as nothing as it was just a hum. For a while though, It's been getting more aggressive to a point where it's causing me to suffer...

Break the bartender's head open...

"Another shot, please!" I said flagging down the bartender. He came over to fill up my glass until I told him to just leave the rest of the bottle, which was only a quarter full. Now you're probably wondering 'why not go talk to someone?' There's only two possible endings with that, either that 'someone' will give me something or take me to the looney bin, and seeing as I couldn't afford a licensed therapist and most of my friends are a little naive about modern medicine, I wouldn't feel happy about spending my life in the padded hotel. Then again, that might be drink talking.

I glanced over to the clock to saw through my blurred vision it was 1:17. So I paid my bill, walked out of the bar, and headed for the bus station, hey I may be a drunk but I'm a functional drunk.

Your end is coming...

'shut up!'

Death will be your only companion...

'SHUT UP!!'

The time is nigh...

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!?!" I yelled out loud, thankfully no was there to hear me. Though during my out burst I lost what balance I had on my two feet that were loosely planted on the side walk and ended up falling on the road. In the corner of my eye I saw light coming straight towards me. Then it hit me, well two things, I was going to die, so I closed my eyes waiting for the end.

~ ~ ~

Huh? I thought death would be colder and more still. All I could feel was the warmth of the sun and a falling sensation. What no sudden pain, no shock, not even a note?! Then again I was drunk on twelve shots. At least it was pitch black, until I opened eyes.

What I once saw was nighttime and asphalt, was now sunlight, clouds, green fields, and a 10,000 feet birds-eye-view from a lake. It seemed real peaceful like a dre... Wait a minute...

10,000 feet in the air.

'Well this is it.' I thought while screaming and flaring around letting natural instinct takeover.

9,000 feet.

'Time for me to die.'

8,000 feet.

'And by heights no less. Fuck I hate heig-... Wait what is that?' Suddenly I saw a blue fast blur coming towards me. I felt my decent slow down as this something grabbed on to one of my arms. 'Oh thank Christ!' Realizing I was slowing down I tried to grab on with my other arm but slipped out of its grasp and continued my normal decent.

4,500 feet.

'God dammit!' With my hope quickly washed away I decided to just close my eyes and wait for the end. They say my life will flash before my eyes, and let me say something, I'm bored.

500 feet.

'Well that was depressing!' Opening my eyes to see my death come, but instead saw more hope in the form a purple aurora around my body and a slow incoming lake. With as much control as I had I shifted my body to form a... "CAN OPENER!"

*splash*

'bad idea' as I opened my eyes in this unbelievably clear water I noticed that my shin had been torn out of my leg with robes of crimson dancing around it. Being beyond shock, I had past out under water dropping to the bottom as darkness encompassed me.

~ ~ ~

"...at is it? Is it ali..?"

"...lestia it's leg! Out of th...!"

"...shy wait!"

Unable to move from the pain, and talk, I waited, listened for these people to help.

"Quick, I have a first aid kit at my home!"

'Oh bless your kind sou-'

"Wait! What about his bone!?"

"PINKIE NOOO!!!"

*tap*

"OWWWWWWWWWW!!!" 'Curse your soul!!!'

~ ~ ~

*inhale*

'Oh god.'

*exhale*

'What happened?'

*inhale. Exhale*

'Where am I?'

*pant. Pant. Pant pant. Pantpantpant.*

"Oh god!" I opened my eyes and shot up on my feet only to fall on my side from immense pain. Remembering my broken leg I got up and hobbled over to the nearest door, and praise my luck when I saw my savior, the porcelain goddess, the Super Bowl, the TOILET!

Without a second thought I slumped myself over it with my head on the seat. There I waited for the vile bile to lea-

"Bluuh-huuh hhuuu HOLY HELL! Bluuh- hhuuu huuh."

With those five seconds of pure torment out of the way, I slumped myself on the side trying to fight off the rest of the hangover with the bitter taste in my mouth, which oddly had a taste of cinnamon. After a whole day of pain and misery I  finally had felt pea-

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Quickly looking for the source of the sound on my right, I came across a shower with running water and steam with a shadowy figure trying hard to cover herself up.

2+2

"Oh fuck! Sorrysorrysorrysorry!" Without a moment of hesitation and ignoring the scorching pain in my leg, I, practically, jumped out of the bathroom and closed the door, as I tried to run the day's events in my head. 'Well let's see: got run over, broke a leg, received a hangover, and made a clean person feel dirty. Well at least it can't get any worst.'

"Fluttershy, you okay!? Fluttershy!? Flut-!"

As I saw the source of the voice come around the corner, my heart had exploded with both fear and joy, as I gazed at her. In my view was a pony, not just an ordinary pony, but a cyan blue PEGASUS WITH A RAINBOW MANE! As I sat there in front of the door with my own shocked expression, I couldn't believe I was seeing this beautiful creature, as she came closer to me with her shoulders down and her face...in...pure...furry. "Oh fuck me!"

'Dear universe and Murphy's law,

I hate you both.

Sincerely,

Anon'