Twilight's and Trixie's Rush Hour

by russgamemaster

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3486

Twilight and Trixie go on an action-packed non-highschool adventure to retrieve a crown stolen by the Homunculus Sunset Shimmer.

This fanfic retcons Equestria Girls and instead replaces it with something far more action-packed. When the Homunculus Sunset Shimmer (in this fanfic, she takes on her human appearance) steals Twilight's crown and tries to escape through the magic mirror that spawned the aforementioned abomination, the mirror explodes and sends her flying to an unknown location along with the crown. Trixie explains that she sabotaged the mirror so that the quest to get back the crown would have a lot more action than a paint-by-numbers highschool movie where the final (and only) battle isn't epic at all. Cue epic adventure.

Published 2014-03-04 00:20:12 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-04 00:20:12 UTC

3 - He is Mi and I am Yu

Twilight and Trixie walked through the hallways of the dojo, eventually meeting a man named Yu in an empty training room. He was bald, but had a long white beard. Yu asked, "May I help you?"

Trixie replied, "The Great And Powerful Trixie will be asking the questions here, old man. Who are you?"

Yu said, "Yu."

Trixie said, "No, not me, You."

Yu said, "Yes, I am Yu."

Trixie replied, "Just answer Trixie's question. Who are you?"

Yu stated, "I have told you!"

Trixie scowled. "Are you deaf?"

Yu said, "No. Yu is blind."

Trixie told him, "Trixie's not blind, YOU blind."

Yu answered, "That is what I just said."

Trixie said, "You say what?"

Yu continued, "I did not say what, I said Yu."

Still upset, Trixie blurted out, "That's what I'm asking you!"

Yu continued, "And Yu is answering!"

Trixie got fed up and yelled "SHUT UP!" with a Flutterrage face. She pointed to a black-haired man and yelled, "You!"

Yu replied, "Yes?"

Then Trixie yelled, "Not you, him! What's your name?"

The black-haired man said, "Mi."

Trixie told Mi, "Yes you!"

Mi replied, "I am Mi!"

Finally Yu said, "He is Mi, and I am Yu."

Trixie ran out of patience because of what their names sounded like. "And The Great And Powerful Trixie is about to kick your flanks because SHE'S SICK OF PLAYING GAMES! YU, MI, EVERYPONY'S FLANKS AROUND HERE! HIM!"

Twilight grabbed her with magic and said, "Trixie, Trixie!"

Then Trixie exclaimed, "I'M GONNA KICK HIS FLANK, I'M SICK OF THIS! AVADA KEDAVRA!" A green bolt flew from her horn only for Yu to easily dodge it. He then threw a miniature Kamehameha at her to throw her backwards. She hit the wall and flopped onto the floor like a fish out of water. While lying on the floor, she tried to zap Mi with a similar bolt, but Mi had an AT Field that easily deflected it.

Instead of blindly retaliating, Twilight remarked, "Trixie, it's not really uncommon for old masters to be very powerful. Just get to the point already!"

Trixie then asked the two dojo masters where Twilight's crown had been taken to. They said they would reply if the ponies could win against them. Then Twilight joined the battle herself, backflipping high to dodge another of Yu's energy blasts. Mi fired a Positron Rifle at her, but she just teleported up to Yu to dodge it. She kicked Yu backwards and proceeded to charge up her horn buster to penetrate Mi's AT Field while dodging more energy shots from the two men. "GIGA...DRILL...EXPELLIARMUS!" A large drill-shaped white bolt shot out of Twilight's horn, shattered Mi's AT Field, and sent him flying backwards. He dropped his Positron Rifle, which landed in Trixie's forelegs.

Trixie yelled, "HA!" and charged it using her horn, but when she fired it at Yu, Yu just stepped aside to the right to dodge it, but it created an explosion that knocked Mi forward. Then Mi pinned her to the wall with a Spear of Longinus, which Twilight began to jinx to make it dance around and attack Yu repeatedly. At this point, Trixie got up and teleported up to Mi to slap him in the face five times before kicking him. After Mi stepped backwards from the impact, he hit the wall, chased his jinxed Spear around, and grabbed it, only to be spun around. He got thrown off as soon as Twilight got hit by another of Yu's energy blasts.

Trixie slashed at Mi and Yu with her cape, making the cape attack sound from Super Mario World and spinning them around. As the ponies kicked them, the two men bounced around the room repeatedly hitting each other and the walls. After a minute and a half of this, Twilight and Trixie got spun around the same way, bumping each other five times before stopping and getting dizzy. They still didn't give up, and touched their horns together again to tap into the power within. Their fighting spirits combined to blast both men with a large laser beam. The beam got blocked by another beam of equal force from the two men, but the ponies managed to beat the men's beam, sending them flying back into the wall one more time. KO! Twilight and Trixie had won this battle.

Finally, the men got up and told the ponies that the crown they were looking for had been placed on display at the Great Mall of Canterlot. However, as the ponies absorbed this information, they tired out. The men remarked, "Well that wasn't surprising. Turns out we were that equally matched." The ponies woke up in a completely different location an hour later.

4 - Captured

As Twilight and Trixie regained their consciousness, they were in great pain everywhere. They thought it was from their battle from Yu and Mi, and couldn't even get up. But Twilight and Trixie were hogtied and gagged, with tight restraints all over their bodies that increased their blood pressure, making it painful even to use magic.

Sunset Shimmer walked into the dungeon room they were in, and explained her evil plan: "So Twilight, Yu and Mi gave away my location. I've taken you there, but you can't move and your blood pressure is really high now. By stealing your crown, I was planning to spawn a crappy movie by escaping into a non-magical human world via the magic mirror. There, you would be turned into a human with no magic, and I would be able to use your crown for the ultimate power, but that part of the plan was ruined by Trixie sabotaging the mirror. I'm still going to use the crown once I find it in the Great Mall! That's why both you and Trixie are tightly tied up. Now enjoy flashbacks of your darkest moments! MWAHAHAHAHA!" She then stepped out.

Twilight and Trixie felt tears in their eyes, but the restraints kept the tears from flowing. Then the two ponies both had flashbacks of their respective darkest moments for three minutes which seemed like an eternity to them. The flashbacks started to become more detailed by the second, culminating in Twilight remembering all of her victories in MLP: FiM's first three seasons. At the end of her flashback montage, Twilight heard a voice that sounded like Princess Celestia's: "Twilight, your most powerful magic lies not in your horn, nor your wings, but your heart." At this point Twilight realized how she had conquered all odds before, and decided to do it again. As she remembered her fighting spirit, suddenly she released an unstable explosion of energy from her body, vaporizing her restraints. She was able to move again, despite still being in pain. She limped over to a still restrained Trixie and touched their horns together to heal each other and remove her restraints.

Trixie, being able to painlessly move again, knew Twilight's fighting spirit saved both our heroes. "Now, Twilight, go rescue your crown from that zero-dimensional Sunset Shimmer. The Great And Powerful Trixie will come with you too."

And the two ponies painlessly opened and walked through the dungeon door, which led to the Great Mall.

5 - The Mall

Twilight and Trixie took a walk through the Great Mall, searching for the crown. Without a wearer, the crown got lost in the mall. Then they bumped into Sunset Shimmer again, who asked them to help her look for the lost crown. Trixie, refusing to fall for this trick, decided to stay with Sunset to prevent her from taking any hostile actions. "Sunset, let us look for the crown together. And have some fun in the process."

Twilight, Trixie, and Sunset walked through the mall. Trixie and Sunset got sidetracked by random video games, toys, TV shows, and outfits that were on display. Each one was given a try. Trixie and Sunset played Megaman 2: The Power Fighters together. Sunset's character ended up dying multiple times, but Trixie just 1CC'd the game. Sunset became jealous of how Trixie was better at video games than her. Then while playing with toys, they fought with model lightsabers. At the TV section, they watched a dueling club clip from Harry Potter. Finally, the two girls both tried cosplaying as Twilight Sparkle, but Sunset was reminded of how she loathed her.

However, Twilight was just frantically looking for the crown, but no luck. Trixie asked her if she had any fun, but no, Twilight was too focused on getting the crown back for that. For not enjoying her time at the mall, Trixie turned Twilight into a ball again and threw her into an air vent so she would roll through it and pop out in the room that held the crown. While rolling through the air vents, Twilight began to sense her crown, rolling in the paths leading to it. Eventually, Sunset found, picked up, and put on the crown in a fashion section, where Ball!Twilight emerged from the air vent. Sunset picked up the purple ball and remarked, "What's a ball doing in the fashion section? Anyways, it reminds me of...Twilight Sparkle." She kicked the ball, and it bounced off the wall and hit her in the head, knocking the crown into the hallways. The ball then unrolled back into Twilight, who picked up the crown with her magic.

Sunset got pissed off because Twilight finally got a hold of the crown. Sunset blasted Twilight with a Repulsor Beam from her hand. Twilight flopped over in pain, and the crown flew even further. Trixie just Avada Kedavra'd Sunset, but since Sunset was a Homunculus with a Philosopher's Stone, she simply resurrected herself, creating a Deflector Shield and firing missiles and a Unibeam which Trixie easily dodged. Twilight used her own shield to protect herself. Trixie got sent flying forward by one of the missiles' explosions, but then both she and Twilight used laser beams from their horns to burn out the shield. They rolled sideways to dodge another Unibeam, then shouted "EXPELLIARMUS!" and sent Sunset flying into the hallways as well with two white bolts. The next thing Sunset saw was a bunch of nondescript people walking and kicking the crown everywhere. She proceeded to scramble for it. Trixie healed Twilight again, and the two joined in to grab the crown. Also trying to grab the crown were Yu, Mi, and Equestria Girls' human counterparts of Twilight and Trixie.

6 - Crowd Hockey!

As Twilight and Trixie joined into the game of crowd hockey with the crown, they were surprised to see two humanoid impostors and rubbed their eyes as Yu, Mi, Sunset, and the impostors scrambled over the crown which kept getting knocked around the hallways like a pinball. The crown would get kicked by the walking extras, grabbed with hands or magic, shot by an energy blast, dropped as the holder got blasted, punched, or kicked, and rinse, lather, and repeat. Eventually, Mi caught the crown with his Spear of Longinus and ran off with Yu into a coffee room. Yu and Mi were followed there by the rest of the characters, meeting the humanoid impostors of Twilight and Trixie face-to-face. Yu and Mi told them, "You look somewhat like two unicorns we fought earlier. Are you supposed to be like them?"

The impostors replied, "Yes we are. We are their versions in the Equestria Girls movie."

Yu and Mi asked them to prove it by giving them the same battle they had with the real Twilight and Trixie. The impostors accepted the challenge. The fake Trixie got some coffee and threw it at Mi, but his AT Field blocked and erased it easily. Then the fake Twilight threw several punches at Yu, only for him to dodge them all. He slapped her and she fell to the floor. Yu replied, "You're a fake" as he literally curbstomped her.

Mi then proceeded to let the fake Trixie throw multiple punches at him to show that unlike the real team of Twilight and Trixie, she couldn't penetrate his AT Field. He kicked her, pinned her down with his Spear of Longinus, and waited for the impostor Twilight to jinx it like the real one did. But no, the impostor didn't have magic. So he just blew up the fake Trixie with his Positron Rifle.

As the impostor Twilight got up, she grabbed the spear and tried to stab Yu and Mi with it, but they dodged it, grabbed it, span her around, and threw her into the wall where she literally exploded. But in the process, the crown was bumped back into the hallways. After this curb stomp battle, Yu and Mi went back to the hallways to continue scrambling for the crown with Sunset, Twilight, and Trixie. Via magic, punching, kicking, energy blasts, and missiles between the three (which Yu and Mi then joined in with their own abilities), the crown bounced between characters for another ten minutes. Eventually, Sunset knocked Twilight and Trixie over with her laser beams and missiles. "MWAHAHAHAHA! Now that you're wracked in pain again, now you shall watch me utilize the power of this crown!" Though in pain again, Twilight and Trixie knew they couldn't give up now that they've made it to the crown. They grabbed it with their magic and put it on Twilight's head. Then the crown started to glow. As Yu and Mi walked up to it to see what was happening, the crown's powers combined with Twilight's, Trixie's, Yu's, and Mi's to form a large purple-and-blue Megazord with the crown for a helmet.

The Megazord told Sunset, with a deep and demonic-sounding voice, "FOR YOUR ATTEMPT TO KILL MY PROPER WIELDER, PREPARE TO BE OBLITERATED!"

Sunset said, "Twilight, Trixie, Yu, Mi, I don't know what you've been feeding him, but your fellow cosplayer is TOO DAM BIG! I'm gonna beat the puberty out of him and you ain't gonna see it coming!" She attacked the Megazord with missiles and lasers, but she couldn't even scratch it. It grabbed her, threw her to the ground, and stepped on her chest. As she got up, she tried to punch it but couldn't reach it due to being held down. Then she kicked it only to be thrown again. She grabbed multiple sledgehammers and swung them at the Megazord, but the Megazord grabbed all the sledges from her hands before spinning her around on the last one.

Sunset yelled, "I'M SORRY MAN! PUT ME DOWN!"

The Megazord threw her again before saying that her reformation in the movie was rushed. It began to charge a laser from its own chest, yelled "GIGA HYPER ULTIMATE OMEGA DEATH STAR POSITRON UNIBEAM!", and blasted her with a brightly-glowing laser that flashed like a strobe light. "...OMNISLASH!" Then the Megazord hit her with two large lightsabers, and she went flying real far, smashed through the roof, landed in a drinking fountain in a far-away park, and went up in a skyscraper-sized explosion. It then remarked, "Ohh, you know she's dead. She ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3." Everypony laughed.

Twilight and Trixie gave a hoof-five, and along with Yu and Mi, participated in a flash mob dance party to I'm A Believer from Shrek. At the end, Twilight wrote a letter: "Dear Princess Celestia, today I went on an action-packed adventure with The Great And Powerful Trixie. Today I learned that if any form of canon is widely hated, the fans can easily fix it."

The end.

1 - The Stolen Crown And Sabotaged Mirror

It had been a long day since Twilight Sparkle's transformation into an alicorn princess. Thus, that night she was very sleepy. A while later, a humanoid shadow, Sunset Shimmer, snuck into her room, stole her crown, and tried to escape through a magic mirror outdoors. In Equestria Girls, this triggered something crappy and paint-by-numbers, but not this time. As soon as Sunset touched the mirror, it exploded and sent her flying along with the crown. This didn't wake up the purple winged unicorn, however. That's how sleepy she was.

Time passed, and the sun came up. Twilight, wearing blue pajamas with white polka-dots, finally woke up after sleeping very late. Finally she realized that something exploded outside her building after looking out the window. She saw a large circle of soot and broken glass scattered around it. "What the hay happened last night? Why would anypony blow up a mirror like that?" She walked out the door of her house, still wearing her pajamas. In front of the house stood a familiar blue unicorn, The Great And Powerful Trixie.

Twilight said hi to Trixie and asked her about the broken mirror and the explosion. Trixie stated, "Twilight Sparkle, The Great And Powerful Trixie sabotaged a magic mirror that was being used for evil. It was going to be used to trigger a crappy paint-by-numbers 'adventure',  but since it's exploded, we can go on a more epic and action-packed one! A one-dimensional villain by the name of Sunset Shimmer stole your crown and tried to escape through the mirror before being blown up and sent flying with the crown."

Twilight was shocked. "MY CROWN?!? It holds the Element of Magic, and without it, Equestria will be doomed if it is attacked again! Okay Trixie, I'll go on this adventure to find it. Now which way did she go?"

Trixie replied, "I haven't seen her go flying, but two dojo masters named Yu and Mi can take us to her hideout. We have to find them! But first Twilight, take those pajamas off." Twilight raised her head and her pajamas disappeared. Then the two ponies went off to find Yu and Mi.

2 - Flash Sentry Dies For Our Ship

As Twilight and Trixie went out for a walk, they wondered where they could find Yu and Mi. Trixie asked, "Where are Yu and Mi? It's not like the way to their dojo has a big glowing arrow saying, 'This way to Yu and Mi'."

Twilight replied, "Then what is that?" pointing to a neon sign arrow saying, "This way to Yu and Mi." It pointed to a floating door, with a blue-haired human boy named Flash Sentry standing in front of it. As the two ponies approached the door, Twilight asked the boy, "Who are you?"

The boy tried to introduce himself, but Trixie yelled "AVADA KEDAVRA!" and a green bolt of light shot him dead.

Twilight was upset about Trixie killing a potential new friend. "Why did you do this, Trixie?"

Trixie was clearly upset. "Because he was nameless and unimportant. Trust your existing friend."

Twilight tried to reply, "Trixie, mmmphhh..." only for her friend to turn her into a ball with her mane forming a stripe and her cutie mark in the center.

Trixie yelled, "Twilight, forget about him!" and bounced her around a few times. Then Twilight uncurled before going into the door with Trixie.

Twilight remarked, "Avada Kedavra? That's a funny name." because she was dizzy for a few seconds. Trixie touched her horn to Twilight's, and Twilight regained her consciousness.

As soon as the two ponies walked through the door, they found themselves in a huge stone cave. A giant Indiana Jones boulder started chasing them, but they easily outran it. As another Flash Sentry popped out of nowhere, Trixie Avada Kedavra'd him too and the boulder flattened his body.

Then the two ponies swung across vines, holding them with their forelegs and moving the vines in front of them with their magic. Another Flash Sentry hogged the last vine, but Trixie jinxed his vine before shouting "AVADA KEDAVRA" again, sending him flying into a bottomless pit.

As the ponies moved on to jump across stone platforms, another Flash Sentry was Avada Kedavra'd off them. Then they had to jump off an edge to reach the sled below. Twilight turned Trixie into a ball before throwing her down to avoid breaking her bones, before floating down herself by opening her wings.

The ponies landed on their sleds safely, and Trixie unrolled with no injuries. As the sleds started moving, Megaman 8's "JUMP JUMP SLIDE SLIDE" randomly flashed. They jumped and slid accordingly to dodge rocks for two minutes. Another Flash Sentry did the same...until his sled got jinxed and he hit a wall after another shout of "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Finally, the two ponies pulled a Megaman X and jumped up two walls that closed in on them, eventually entering Yu's and Mi's dojo through a floor panel. Trixie, sensing one last Flash Sentry climbing up the walls below them, said "Avada Kedavra" and he fell down and got crushed. Then she remarked, "Who needs him when you've got The Great And Powerful Trixie? Now it's time to say hi to Yu and Mi."