Hello... me?

It's a calm, cool fall night and Sunset Shimmer, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk are sitting at a table in front of Pony Joe's Coffee and Donuttery (Aria pointed out many times that 'Donuttery' wasn't a word, but it fell on indifferent ears)

Aria sighed to herself "What is taking Cheesepuff so long?"

Sunset looked up from her book "We've only been waiting five minutes."

Aria glares "Your point?"

"That for an old sea hag, you sure are impatient." Sunset replies, dodging the punch Aria threw.

Sonata giggles "It's funny, because it's true."

Sunset grins "Are you getting slow in your old age Aria? Should I slow down so that you can see around your cataracts?"

Aria snorts "That's it! You're hamburger meat Shimmer!!"

A blur of yellow and orange steps between the two of them "Ladies! There's enough of me to go around! No need to come to blows."

Aria grins "You're right. With those monster thighs and your hirsute complexion, there's more than enough."

Adagio pauses "... I can't tell if you just insulted or complimented me. So thank you and go lick an electrical socket."

Sunset smirks "So! The gang's all here, how about we go and get some food because Sonata is starting to eat her shoes. Again."

Sonata looks up from her gnawing "It's life or death! And the shoes are expendable!!"

Adagio groans "Why did you get her that book on post-apocalyptic scenarios Aria?"

The purple siren shrugs "Why did you buy her steel-toed boots?"

Sunset claps her hands "Girls! We can argue about why the two of you aren't able to take care of a lady-child like Sonata later."

Both sirens roll their eyes and follow, entering the café.

"-And stay out!!" Pony Joe yells, throwing the sirens out onto the street.

Sonata frowns "He said he had bear claws! How I supposed to know that they aren't actual bear claws! He should get fined for liberal!"

"'Libel'. The word you're looking for is 'Libel'." Aria groans, dusting herself off.

Adagio moans in pain "But did you have to go at him with your nunchucks? Why do you even have nunchucks hidden in your pants anyways?"

"In case of Ninja emergencies. Or pizza contests."

Sunset walks out and sips her coffee "That's a new record for longest time it's taken for you three to get kicked out of a business."

Aria rolls her eyes "I swear we need to get her a shock collar, so that when she does something stupid, we just jolt her."

Adagio shakes her head "No, you'd wake her up in the morning with it, when she's eating or drinking, or when you're bored."

"That is all true." Aria replies, helping Sonata up "And my point still stands."

Sunset sighs "You three are a riot."

"I'm pretty sure you need a bunch of liberals or sports fans for a riot, Shimmy."

Adagio groans "Okay, I'll think about it. Anyways it's time for us to get home. See you later Sunset."

Sunset waves, passing her coffee to Aria "You need it more than I do."

Aria grins "You trying to endear yourself to me?"

Sunset shrugs "Maybe, or maybe Sonata's ran away again."

Aria turns and Sonata is gone "Mother- Gah! Sonata! Get your puny ass back here!"

Ruby closes her instrument case, tracing the bridge of her guitar with a finger "Until we sing again, Shining Frets."

The owner of the most upscale café in Crystal Hills claps "Well done Ms. Shimmer! Here's your pay."

Ruby takes the envelope and smiles "You really don't need to pay me Mr. Kettle."

He raises a hand in mock protest "I won't hear a word of it. Now go, it's time for the night guard to come in and he's a bit... odd."

Ruby nods "I know, Mr. Purple is kind of... odd."

"But he's also fought off a great number of burglars and would-be thieves. But he just... seems afraid of children. I won't ask, but I do wonder..."

Ruby waves to Mr. Kettle and exits, relishing the crisp fall air I love autumn...

She walks towards her apartment, a two storey flat in Crystal Hills.

Wonder what Sparky's up to? Probably trying to complete her dog translator. she chuckles to herself Poor Spike, I should get him a new rawhide bone or something.

Sunset Shimmer rubbed her hands together "I really need to get some gloves. It's colder than Rarity after Dash spilled soup on her cat. Heh, that was funny..."

The familiar scent of coffee emanating from a café attracted her attention "... I have some money, another coffee won't hurt."

Ruby sniffed the air and smiled "I suppose a little coffee will help me deal with Sparky's shenanigans, and it's kind of cold out..." she turned to open the door to the coffee shop when she bumped shoulders with someone "Oh! I'm sorry about... that..."

Sunset Shimmer looked at who she'd bumped into and her jaw dropped instantly.

It was herself.

Ruby's jaw dropped like her Döppelganger's "What- how is- what?!"

Sunset Shimmer took a slow step backwards, thoughts of coffee dashed from her mind Oh shit! Oh crap! Oh Horseapples! Oh... Oh Fuck!!

Ruby nearly dropped her guitar case and raised a shaky hand to point at Sunset "Y-you're me! But how?! I'm me! I mean- Gah! What the hell is going on here?!"

Sunset jolted from her counterpart's exclamation "I... Would you believe, I'm you from a different universe?"

Ruby's eye twitches, a quirk she'd picked up from Sparky "I... is that true?! This isn't some prank?!"

Sunset shook her head "No... I'm, well, Sunset Shimmer. So are you... right?"

Ruby nods uncertainly "Yeah... uh, is it odd that I feel like running away screaming at the top of my lungs?"

Sunset shrugs weakly "I... I have no idea, the only plan I had for this was try to avoid any... rips in space and time or something else cataclysmic."

"Yeah... I wish I had listened to Sparky's lectures on parallel universes."

Sunset's ears perk up "'Sparky'? As in, Twilight Sparkle?"

Ruby nods and groans "Please don't tell me there's a second Twilight Sparkle running around. I can barely deal with mine!"

"No, she's... back in my world."

She crosses her arms "And what or where or... whatever is your world, and why are you here in mine?"

"It's... a long story. And it's not all that... believable."

"I'm talking to myself in the flesh in front of a café. Trust me, there's nothing you- err... I could say that I wouldn't believe." Ruby replies, scratching her head "Ugh, personal pronouns are useless."

Sunset nods "Well... how about we get some coffee and... I don't know, find a bench so that I can tell you my... our... a life story.

Several hours later, Ruby closes her mouth, stunned "So... in your world, we're a magical, talking unicorn, the ex-student of a winged unicorn, an alicorn, who is the principal of CHS in my world and we ran away from that world through a magic portal to here, that is the statue at CHS. We became the queen bitch of the school, and then we went back, three years later, to steal a magical artefact that when we put it on turned us into a fiery haired she-demon bent on dimensional conquest, and the current student of the princess blasted us with a magical rainbow beam that changed us back into a girl, and then befriended the very girls who's lives we'd ruined for years. That about sum it up?"

Sunset nods "Pretty much. Like I said, it's not all that believable, and that was just the first time my Twilight came here."

Ruby's eyes knit in worry "Why didn't anyone report this in the news?! 'Giant she-demon seen terrorizing local high school. Video at eleven'?"

Sunset shrugs "I've been wondering that myself. I mean, I had to help fix the wall that I broke through, fill in the craters, and serve detention for a whole three weeks straight. Sure, I'm forgiven by most of the students and teachers, but how it never made the news boggles my mind."

"Maybe it's so unbelievable that if anyone reported it, they'd be called crazy?"

Sunset shrugs "Probably. So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Any tales of heroism or massive stupidity?"

Ruby shakes her head "Nope, lived a pretty normal life so far. You said that was what happened the first time she came here, what else happened?"

Sunset sighs "Well, there were-" Sunset's satchel starts vibrating "Hold on, Princess calling."

Sunset opens the book and sits it between herself and... herself.

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

I'm coming over to spend some time with you at your house. Did you move the spare key to the loose brick in the side of the school building, or is it still in the false bottom to the wall lantern? Also, my Rainbow Dash wanted to know what team yours played for. I told her it was virtually every team they have, but she just patted my head and said 'Just write it down Twilight, she'll know what it means.' Is your Rainbow that vague? Anyways, I'm going into the portal after you answer.

-Twilight Sparkle

Ruby shivers "I'm afraid of your Twilight. I mean, what if she vaporizes me for being... you?"

Sunset rolls her eyes "Trust me, Twilight doesn't vaporize anyone. She might examine you, but that's about it. What would your Twilight do?"

Ruby bites her lip "Let's leave it at nothing legal. So, are you going to answer her?"

She nods and produces a pen from her pocket and her phone from the other "I need to ask Rainbow something..."

Ruby motions for her to turn on the speakerphone "*Click!*Yo! Bacon Bits! What's hangin'?!"

Sunset and Ruby roll their eyes "Rainb-"

"Dashie, who's on the phone?"

"Dude! Pinkie! Pick up the phone!"

"*Click!* Whaaaaaaaaaazzzuuuup?!"

"Whaaaaaaaaaazzzuuuup?!

Sunset growls "Pinkie! Rainbow! Stop that!"

Both girls giggle on their ends "Sorry Bacon Bits. Anyways, why have you chosen to consult Dash, the Great and Powerful?"

Ruby rolls her eyes, mouthing "These are your friends?"

Sunset nods sadly "Rainbow, I have a question from your pony self. She wants to know what team you play for. And apparently, she doesn't mean sports."

"I'm a left handed pitcher." Rainbow replies "Anything else?"

"No, thanks."

"Whaaaaaaaaaazzzuuuup?!!"

Sunset ends the call, sighing "Okay, I have no idea why they did that, but... anyways, I have a response to write."

Dear Princess Twilight,

There's a spare in both places, I just put one near the school in case you came by. I'm with... a new friend.

Sunset looks up "Do... you want to meet my Twilight?"

Ruby nods "Why not? I was just going to go and sleep when I got home."

She's going to be at my house with me, and she knows what is going on. Whatever you do when you see her, do not freak out. And to answer your Rainbow's question 'Left handed pitcher'. Whatever that means.

-Sunset Shimmer

Sunset closes the book and a flash of magenta magic signals that the message had been sent. "So... I guess I should take... you to my house?"

Ruby nods and brushes herself off "Might as well. Sparky's going to wonder where I am but... I can call her later."

The door to Sunset's flat opens, letting the slim figure of Twilight Sparkle enter "Hi Sunset!"

Sunset stands and waves to Twilight "Hi Twilight. Remember what I said about not freaking out?"

Twilight rolls her eyes "Yes, I remember. Honestly, I can't think of anypony who'd get me to freak out."

"Even me?" Sunset asks

"No, you've changed. Now who is this mystery guest? Flash? An alien? A demon?"

Sunset shakes her head and leads Twilight to the living room where Ruby sits looking through Sunset's photo album (A gift from Fluttershy.)

Twilight pauses and looks from one Sunset to the other as the gears in her head grind into disks "Wha...?"

Ruby looks up and jolts back a little "Sleipnir's horseshoes! Wow..." she stands slowly, rubbing a lock of Twilight's hair between her fingers "You weren't kidding about there being another Twilight. Though... mine has longer hair and wears glasses and a lab coat everywhere. Still, wow."

Sunset snaps her fingers in front of Twilight's face "Princess? Princeeeeeess? Equestria to Twilight."

Ruby smirks and walks to Sunset's kitchen "This works on mine."

She returns with a cup of water and moves in front of Twilight's eyes and slowly moves it above her head "If you don't stop, I'm going to pour it on you."

Twilight ducks with a squeak and moves away from Ruby, her eyes wide "Don't!"

Ruby sips the water and grins "Works wonders."

Sunset claps "Thanks... Ahem!" she pounds her chest "Princess Twilight Sparkle, this is Sunset Shimmer. Sunset Shimmer, Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Ruby extends her hand "I've heard so much about you from Sunset."

Twilight shakes Ruby's hand nervously, her eyes darting every which direction "N-nice to meet you."

Ruby shoves her hands into her pockets "So... what now?"

Sunset shrugs "I don't know, honestly I thought that Twilight would gasp and go on for a while about how we shouldn't be so close to each other."

Twilight blinks and gasps, jumping away from both Sunsets "This isn't good! How is the world not collapsing in on itself?! There's no good way this can end! I... I don't know what do in this situation!!"

Suddenly the door to Sunset's balcony opens and a windswept figure with a huge backpack steps inside, features obscured by a pair of goggles, face mask, and a thick coat "I may have the answers." the figure says in a familiar voice.

Ruby blanches "Sp-Sparky, is that you?! What- why in the world are you dressed like that?!"

Sparky removes her face mask and pulls the goggles off, leaving her glasses in place. She sheds the coat and under it is a stained white lab coat.

Something yips from inside the bag and Sparky opens it, loosing a disheveled purple puppy "Sorry about the turbulence Spike, walking up at a right angle was probably quite scary." she produces a remote studded with buttons and presses one, her boots seemingly transforming into orthopedic flats "Anyways, Sunset, take note, the repto-adhesion function to the TATS are working well beyond the expected parameters."

She looks up and cocks her head slightly, as does Spike "Why are you not taking a note? Honestly, if Spike didn't have trouble grasping shorthand, you'd be out of a job as my assistant."

Twilight shakes her head, and steps forward, standing in front of her double "Hi... I'm guessing you're-"

"Twilight Amaranth Sparkle. Professor at Crystal AUSSIE Affairs, chairwoman and founder of the illustrious Terra-obscura coalition, PhD. Etc."

Twilight  bows "I am Princess Twilight Velvet Sparkle of Equestria. Magical scholar Experimus, founder of the oft requested FRAG. Nice to meet you."

Sparky looks Twilight over and grabs her breasts "... Satisfactory."

Ruby wrenches Sparky's hands from Twilight's chest, and Twilight flushes and stumbles backwards into Sunset's arms "You don't just go up and grope people Twilight!"

Sparky blinks "I am her. Therefore, I groped myself. Which is perfectly appropriate. If you feel left out, you can grope your double as well."

Spike looks from one Twilight to the other and whimpers in confusion.

Sparky removes Ruby's hands from her own and reaches into Ruby's coat and produces a small notebook "I had told you five point five minutes ago for you to take note of the success of the repto-adhesion function. You are not near a menstruation cycle, inebriated, or otherwise impaired, yet you still have yet to comply with one of the terms of your apprenticeship. If you continue to fail to meet my requirements, I'm afraid I'll have to rescind your scholarships, housing tickets, and all recommendations; past and future. This is not a personal punishment, you are just violating the terms that we agreed upon eighteen years, one hundred and thirty six days and six point 33 repeating, hours ago."

Ruby rubs her head, groaning "Professor Sparkle, that 'Contract' was a promise we made when we were seven years old. You typed it up with your mother's typewriter and made me sign it in triplicate and you somehow were a certified notary clerk. I'm not your assistant, I'm the only person that isn't related to you that you haven't completely driven away with your personality alone."

"They were not suitable candidates for the sheer reason that they were intellectually inferior to you and our personalities are complementary, so anyone else with even a different personality would greatly hinder my progress. And the contract is legally binding until one of us perishes or becomes otherwise unable to assist the other. You signed it and I outlined the terms when you did." Sparky replies flatly.

Sunset coughs "So, can I get you any-"

Sparky shakes her head "No, I can't spare the attention span for the intellectual inferior of my assistant and myself. I will simply attain any information I need pertaining to your physique when I need to. Now if you will please make the Princess and Sunset some tea, that would be appreciated."

Sunset's eye twitches "Did you just insinuate that I am not as intelligent as myself?! For all you know, my intelligence could be far superior to yours!"

"You reacted violently and reacted with pride rather than reason,and while Sunset is incapable of starting a hormonal and chemical inhibition regiment like myself, she doesn't react with blind rage and indignation. Now please, if you aren't going to-" Ruby puts a hand over Sparky's mouth "Shut it or I swear by all that is chaotic I will preform an anesthetic free mastectomy!"

Sparky removes ruby's hand "I already did so to myself four weeks and three days ago."

Ruby shivers "And preformed taxidermy on your breasts and made a chest pillow out of them... ugh."

Twilight cocks her head "What's that?"

"The removal of 'Chest Teats', a preventive measure against certain cancers." Sunset replies.

"Oh. Why should that matter? I know that for humans they're signs of fertility but I've found them an annoyance."

Sparky nods "I agree, as are hormones not governing general health."

Ruby groans "Fine, just... shut up Twilight. You're being a know-it-all pest."

Sparky pauses and turns to Ruby "... That is a distressing thing to say Sunset. I am surprised to witness so base a reaction from you. You must be assimilating less than ideal habits and vernacular from your inferior double. I am escorting you home to undergo re-education to reduce the corruption you've undergone before it becomes a part of your long-term memory." she turns to Twilight and nods "Princess Twilight Sparkle, I shall send a letter through the portal as to when we may converse about the discrepancies between our universes in a sterile environment." she then turns to Sunset "You have been a great catalyst in starting a new project in inter-dimensional studies. Of course, if I require any information pertaining to your ability to adapt to our world, I will send for you via courier or an electronic memo. Thank you for everything you have done, I truly mean it. I hope that, if I haven't 'Alienated' you, we might become colleagues someday. Farewell." she pulls a whistle from her pocket and blows it and Ruby tries to grab it but falls limp halfway and Sparky grabs her, hoisting her over her shoulder like a sack of flour "Spike. Follow."

Spike yips and drags the backpack with him and Sparky opens the door, nodding once more to Sunset and Twilight before leaving.

Twilight blinks several times and her legs fall out from under her, a blush spreading across her cheeks. She carefully places her hands on her chest like her double had and bites her lip "I... I think I'm in love..."

Sunset sighs and pulls out her phone "Rainbow? Do you still have those unopened discount beers? Yeah, I'm coming over."