Three Years: Coping With a Broken heart
Part 1: Heart Ache
The silent cries of the angels above drown out all the noise around me. Rain drops, like frozen tears fall to the ground beneath my hooves. I stare at a monument, cold and unmoving, and it looks back at me. It's eyes piercing deep into my heart. A single tear falls down my face as I place a hoof on the monuments cold stone.
"Shy..." Those are the only words that I can speak. More tears fall as I place my head on the monument and begin to cry. Three years, three horrible and tragic years that my loving Fluttershy has been gone. It feels as if my heart is torn to pieces. Today is the first day in those three years that I have seen the outside world. Nimble has been helping as much as she can. Illumi has been under the care of my friend Cloud Watcher. Now I sit here broken, and alone with only my pain to look to. I grasp the monument for dear life and scream.
"WHY!!!! WHY THE FUCK DID SHE HAVE TO DIE!!!?? Why am I such a failure?... Why?..." I look to the gravestone and frown. She loved me. That's all I know now, is she loved me. I kiss the monument and smile through the pain.
"I'm sorry Shy, I'm sorry I am such a failure..." I start to tear up and place my face back on the monument. Tears began to fall down the monument as the rain was. All this time I could of told her, I didn't even have the gull to. Now that I knew she loved me as well hurt even more than anything in this world. We could of been together; but now she's gone forever. All this time I have felt powerless, and weak cause she died in front of me. I feel I could of saved her, but I didn't. I just let her die. Why me? That is all I can say is why me? If I could turn back time and save her I would. Sadly though I can't so I guess I have to live with it. I look up to the monument and give a weak smile. I place a dozen roses on the grave and kiss the monument as tears fall down my face.
"F-For you Shy... Happy birthday my love... I love you so much..." I start to sob as I continue to talk. " I miss you my love... I wish you were here with me right now so I could hold you one last time... So these tears could dry, and so I could hear your sweet voice..." More tears fall to the cold ground as I continued. "Everypony misses you as well... Illuminite has grown so big, and so beautiful... She reminds me of you a lot... Cloudwatcher has been looking after her for me... She talks about you everyday and it makes me happy to hear her remembering you..." I look down and sigh, more tears fall down my face. "Nimble made it to the Wonderbolts... She said her inspiration to get in was you my love... They have both made me so proud... I hope they make you proud as well." I smile through the pain that has constricted me for three years and stand. " Goodbye my love... I love you..." As I turn to leave a voice stops me in my tracks. A voice that was very familiar to me.
"Stormdrift? Is that you?" I turn to face the voice and see my friend Summerset Skies looking at me. Her eyes showed sorrow. She smiled sadly at me and walked over to me and sat next to me. I give a weak and pathetic smile back. Summer picked up on it and placed a hoof around me.
"Yeah...It's me Summer... How are you?..." I said with a sorrow filled voice. Summerset hugged me and sighed. I embraced her and buried my face in her chest quietly sobbing.She looked at me and smiled weakly.
"A lot better then you my friend...What's wrong Storm... This isn't you..." I looked into her eyes and frowned. She smiled and wiped the tears from my eyes. I sigh and look back at Fluttershy's grave. Summer knew right then what was wrong. She hugged me again and I lost it. I cried into her chest as she stroked my mane. She looked at the grave with sorrow in her eyes.
"How close were you two?" She asked me with sympathy in her voice. I took a moment to calm down and told her. "We were closer than most ponies know... We both had a connection that neither of us would admit. We loved each other... We never had the guts to tell each other..." I sigh and continue. "Three years ago... It started as a normal day for me. I was about to join Luna's guard. Until Rainbow Dash told me about Shy... My heart sank to the floor when I heard..." I start to tear up, and Summer placed her head on my shoulder to comfort me. I give her a smile and continue.
"When I got to the hospital I knew right then that she wasn't going to make it... I think a part of me died right there..." I look at her with sorrow in my eyes. "She asked me the funniest question... She asked me if I loved her as a friend... Or if I loved her more then a friend. When I answered she smiled... And said she loved me the same way...That's when I found out she loved me too..." I begin to cry. "After she said that...sh-she died in my hooves... She just died in my hooves..." I fell to my haunches and buried my face in my hooves. Summer ran to me and held me close.
"Shhhh.... I'm right here Storm... Please... Don't cry..." I looked up to her, tears falling like rain from my eyes. "Summer...It's all my fault... I'm the reason she's dead...I couldn't save her..." Summer sighed and held me closer. "Storm...Please don't blame yourself..." I didn't listen to her. "But Summer... I was there with her for those years she had the disease... If I knew sh-she would be here right now!" Summer placed a hoof over my mouth and gave me a slight glare.
" This is not your fault... There was nothing you could have done... You loved her, and that love kept her alive all that time..." Her words flowed through me like a wave. I let go of her and stood. "Maybe so...But I was still there... not letting her know I loved her... Not letting her know that somepony out there had these kind of feelings for her... What if that's the reason her heart was broken? What if I'M the reason she died?...If I didn't do this to her then why do I feel so god damn useless!!" I slammed my hoof to the ground in anger and sorrow. Summerset flinched and walked towards me. "Storm...Pl-" I cut her off and continued. "If this isn't my fault...why isn't she here by my side?! Why-" Before I could finish Summerset ran up and hugged me tightly. "Storm...Shy wouldn't want you to blame yourself... So please stop... What would she want from you?" I stop and think and hug her back.
"She would want me to be happy... She would want me to remember the good times we had... She would want me to remember that she loves me and that I love her, and that's all that matters in the end... But how can I? This feeling inside of me won't let me... I feel responsible for this, and the more I think about it... It's true... She's up there, looking down on a failure..." I pull away from Summerset and continue. "She wouldn't be up there if I didn't fail her..." Summerset had enough. She ran at me and punched me in the face, hard. Hard enough to knock me back on the ground. As I try to get up she pins me to the ground.
"YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!! AND YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE!!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. The yell echoed through the rain. I cowered a bit and my ears fell back. A tear fell from Summer's eyes.
"She is with you always Storm... In your heart... Do you think she would want you blaming yourself?! Ask yourself that!! You are not alone!! Your friends are here for you!! As am I..." She pauses for a moment. I try to speak. "B-But-" She growled a bit and placed a hoof over my mouth. "NO DON'T YOU DARE!! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO SAY IT WAS YOUR DAMN FAULT STORM!!!" She begins to cry. "Because it's not... It has never been your fault... It was her time Storm..." She laid her head on my chest and started to cry. "Whatever happened to Goodbye isn't forever huh?! Did you just give up on that!!! Is that now nothing to you!!?" She had a point. I had to admit she made a damn good point., but it still hurt. The more I realize it though, it hurt to see Summerset like this. I hug her tightly, tears now falling out of my eyes.
"No... It doesn't mean nothing to me... I know Goodbye isn't forever... It's just that goodbyes always hurt. It doesn't matter what kind of goodbye it is... It just hurts to say goodbye. That and hello's take a long time to happen. Hell, I'm still waiting for it... It hurts that Shy's gone.. but it hurts a lot more seeing you sad...Please Summer... Stop crying..." I hold her close and smile, tears now falling down my face. Summerset looked at me and smiled. She then kissed me on the cheek.
"S-so your done blaming yourself? Cause I'm still itching to hit you again..." She said with a smile. I frowned. "Um... y-yes I'm done... Please don't hit me..." I said with a bit of fear. She chuckled and helped me up. "Well, I wont hit you as long as you stop hurting yourself..." I nodded in agreement, knowing if I tried to say anything about Shy's death being my fault, I would be I a world of pain. I look towards the grave and sigh.
You know Summer... There's s memorial service for Shy tomorrow... If you want to come... You can..." I say with a sad look. Summerset smiled and hugged me tightly. A warm feeling came over me as she hugged me. Almost as if it was meant to be.
"Of course i will Storm...I think it will be a nice way to remember her by." She said with a smile. I hugged her right back and sighed.
"Thank you Summer...Now I know she's proud of me..." Summerset waited till I turned around and she kissed me. My face turned red. "Thank you for finally listening to me Storm..." I was speechless. I didn't say anything until something strange happened. A single butterfly flew to us. It landed on my heart, and then flew off. I smiled and began to tear up. Summer held me close and smiled. "See like I said... Never alone..."
Part 2: I'll Always Remember you
A cool chilling breeze blows through the sky as hundreds of ponies gather to show their respects. Almost everypony knew Fluttershy in one way or another. Illuminite showed up with Cloud Watcher and Nimble Breeze showed as well with the Wonderbolts. Celestia and Luna began by saying a few words. Then Illuminite said a few word as did Nimble and Cloudwatcher. I was in the back row with Summerset listening to the many wonderful stories ponies were sharing about Fluttershy. After a while I was given the opportunity to speak. I smile and walk to the podium.
"Hello everypony, my name is Stormdrift. Three years ago, my life was changed forever... Fluttershy... My love, was taken from me... The hardest part of this is she died in my hooves." I pause and wipe some stray tears away from my eyes and continue. Now I loved Shy ever since I met her. It turns out she loved me as well... The day I heard she was passing was the worst day of my life... When I heard the news... I flew so fast... Just to see and hear Shy one last time..." Silence fell upon the crowd as I continued to speak.
" She asked me a question while I visited her... She asked me if I loved her. Of course I said yes. The question she asked next however surprised me a bit. She asked if I loved her as a friend or as something more... I answered as something more." I look to the crowd below and sigh. Summerset looked up to me and smiled warmly. I smiled back and continued. " Fluttershy smiled at me and said that she was glad that I loved her. She said it was because she loved me..." The tears were really starting to flow now. I had to take a break for a moment before continuing with the speech. Once I had my composure in check I continued.
"After she said she loved me... She died in my hooves... I never felt so broken in my life... The nurses pulled me away from her and that was the last time I saw My Shy-bear. After her death I grew very distant from the outside world. I felt as if the world had something to do with her death. I also grew very distant from my friends, including my daughter Nimble Breeze... I know now that was wrong of me. Three years later I leave my small little cottage and go to visit her. Honestly I didn't want to... I feared the pain would make a return... Boy was I ever right." Everyone shares a little chuckle as I continue to speak through the blinding tears.
"As I guessed, my sorrow made a return. I was desperately hoping for the rain to hide it, but it never did... While at the cemetery I was visited by my good friend, Summerset Skies. While she tried to talk to me, I acted like such a foal... When I did, she made sure I stopped... My face still hurts..." Everypony laughed a bit. It made me smile through the pain. I took a serious tone to my voice as I continued to speak.
"Summerset Taught me something that day... She taught me that no matter how alone or broken you may feel, there will always be that one pony to help you through it... Your loved ones will always be there for you and they will always dry your eyes when they need to be dried." cool wisps of air come from my mouth as I continue to speak.
"Please, everypony... Cherish every moment of your lives. Don't take anything or anypony for granted, and live life to the fullest... Goodbye is not forever, It's just waiting to say hello again." I chuckle. "Funny thing about goodbyes... They always hurt no matter who you are. Waiting for the hello isn't so fun either... It's all part of it though, and it's always worth it in the end..." I sigh and look to the crowd. Some of them had smiles, others looked as if they were going to cry. To be honest, I felt as if my composure was about to burst at the seams.
"All of you go home and hug your children a little tighter, and hold your loved ones a little closer when this service is done... Why? Because fate has a way of sneaking up on you as it did to me. To end I would like to thank you all for coming. Also, Fluttershy... If you can hear me... I love you. I will always love you no matter what. I will miss your laugh and your cute charm. I will also miss our time together and what could of been... Goodbye Shy... But not for long..." I step down from the podium and I am instantly met with applause and hugs. I smile and return each hug before meeting up with Summerset. She ran up and gave me the biggest hug ever. She then kissed me.
"Storm that was so cute... Shy would have been proud of you... I'm proud of you.." She smiled and hugged me again. I booped her nose and smiled. "Well, I had to say something... Besides you helped me so much.. thank you..." Summerset teared up and held me close.
"I will always be here for you Storm... I love you..." We then walked back home to the cottage Remembering that goodbye will always lead to hello in the end of things.
Part 3: Twenty Years Later
It has been twenty years since Fluttershy's death. I am now forty three years old. Summerset and I have lived a very good life despite what has happened. We have two children, Nyteshine; our little filly from the stars who has mommies beauty and spunk, and Stargazer, our little man with daddies attitude and love for his mother. After all that has happened between losing Shy, and having to start anew with my Summerset, I am doing just fine. It may hurt like hell everyday having the memories of those times with Shy buried deep in my head, but I am still doing just fine. Summer has been there for me from day one. Whenever I felt sad or alone, she was there. My kids have helped too. Mostly cause of their undying love for Summer and I, and also their adorable charm. Though that may help for a little while, the pain o losing somepony never really goes away. There are night where I will wake up in a cold sweat crying and cursing myself out. Everytime this has happened, Summerset has been there for me. Always saying 'shhh, it's fine Storm, she's here...' It makes me feel like I belong there. It makes me feel loved.
I still visit her grave every single day I get the chance, and I know she's there watching me, and I know she's proud of me. I am still waiting for that damn hello I keep talking about. Heh, it's funny, I always thought I'd be the first to go. Guess I was wrong. Waiting has tired me out, and I am growing even more impatient. Still, life hasn't been all that bad. Being loved is wonderful. Having somepony there to hold when your sad, and laugh with when your happy is an amazing thing. Still, I feel as if something is missing. I feel as if there is a hole in my heart, but I'm sure I'll find it.
I still remember what Summer taught me all those years ago. Your loved ones are always with you, no matter what. It has held a place in my mind for the rest of my life. The whole hello thing? Well it may be far down the road, and it may seem as if I will never get it, but I will. Everypony has to say goodbye, and that's the hard part. Saying hello again, is like meeting that person all over again. So remember that as I remember them on my way to Fluttershy's grave for one more visit before going home. I kneel by the grave, pull out my violin, and begin to sing. "Hush now, Quiet now, time to lay your sleepy head..."
Author's Note
Part two down and done! I am currently working on the final part of this series. Please comment and throw a like if you want!!
Three Years: Coping With a Broken heart
Epillogue: One more Goodbye
The rain never stopped falling as I walked towards the cemetery. The sky was as dark as my heart. The cold rain felt like tiny nails hitting my skin as I continued down the road. Tears as cold as the rain fell down my face. The walk through the cemetery was cold and lonely considering there was nopony else awake. I stop in front of a set of graves and sit in front of them. I smile, a weak smile. The kind of smile that hides sorrow. On one grave read Summerset Skies. Loving mother, and wife. May the stars guide her to peace. On another it read Fluttershy. Element of kindness, loving Mother, and wife, and the kindest pony in the land. May she be well and happy. I place a dozen roses on both graves, the wind carrying a few petals away.
"My two beautiful girls..." The only words to make it out of my mouth before I began to break down. I still remember the horrible day Summer was taken from me. Five years after we were married, She started to complain of pains in her chest. I asked her to go to the hospital to see if she was alright. She said it was nothing... I only wish it was nothing. Two days later she- she collapsed in front of me. Her heart gave out, and she was dead before anypony could get to her aid. I held her for hours, not letting go for a second. Nyteshine, and Stargazer were heart broken. So heart broken they moved out and lived on their own not wanting to see me hurt. I know they still love me, and they show it by visiting me every month or so. Nimble Breeze moved out to join the Wonderbolts. When she left, I was truly alone. She makes an effort when she can to visit me. Nimble knows how much it hurts to see her and the others growing up without Summerset and Fluttershy not being there. That's why I understand why she left. Daddies sad, and she don't want to see me that way. She always tells me that she loves and misses me as do my other kids. Now I live alone in the cottage. Angel still keeps me company, but no company is better then family. I look to the graves and sigh.
"This-this world is so cruel... Isn't it? I thought you would out live me... Guess fate turned the tables... Oh Summer, Shy... I miss you both so much... The kids are gone, living on their own, pursuing their dreams... And I am here... Yet again, trying to hide my sorrow only to fail miserably. You are the one who taught me that you both are with me right now... I can feel you both Summer... And Shy..." I look up at the crying sky and grit my teeth, The cold rain falling down my face like the tears falling from my eyes.
"I-I just want you to know that I love you both!! I miss you everyday..." I sigh and smile. "I know how much you both like my singing... e-even though I'm terrible... I'll give it a shot..." I begin to sing a lullaby.
My love
My life
My best friend forever.
Please visit me soon
So I can get better
One day we'll meet, just wait and see
The pain in me will be set free
A rose for you
Gone too soon
Please heal my wounds
For I love you...
"I love you both... goodbye my loves... I got to go..." I kiss their graves and begin to walk out of the cemetery. Back to the loneliness and long days to come without either of them to hold for comfort. With my kids gone, and now the two ponies that I loved gone... All there was to do, was to wait for my hello...
End