A Tad Screwy: Screwball in Canterlot High

Chapters

Flashback!
Screwball vs. Rarity
Who is Strife?
Warning: Sad Chapter Ahead!
Strife Vs. "The Stare"
A Serious Conversation
Floor Wax
Dodgeball
The Argument
She's a Maniac
New Friends
Introduction to Screwball
A Declaration of Forgiveness In The Form of Pink Paper

Flashback!

Sunset Shimmer had returned to her locker with her friend Rainbow Dash not far behind. Previously, they hadn’t been on the best of terms, but after some recent events involving a pony princess from another world, they eventually learned to get along for the most part.

“So Shimmer, you signed up for that whole “Big Sister” thing?” Dash asked.

Sunset gave a nod.

“Kind of. Principal Celestia said it would help me “get better acquainted with my peers” after…well you know.” She whispered.

Dash gave a slight laugh at playfully gave Sunset a punch on the shoulder.

“Hehe. Good for you. I got paired up with Scootaloo on that thing, and its pretty fun. Makes you feel good having somebody look up to you, ya know?” Rainbow asked.

Sunset genuinely smiled, something she hadn’t done in a while

“If it’s as refreshing as you say it is, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it…just so long as I don’t get paired up with-“

Sunset was interrupted by the sound of somebody yelling from down the hall. The two looked in the source’s direction and saw one of the classroom doors open. Several students, including Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle, came flooding out, all with disturbed looks on their faces.

“Hey squirt! What’s with the ghost-face?” Dash called out.

Scootaloo didn’t answer, but pointed her thumb to the classroom doorway. The last of the students just exited. That child being Screwball, appearing to be snickering, with a disgruntled teacher standing behind her. She had purplish skin with pink hair and green eyes which where narrowed in anger at the little girl.

“And I’ll be seeing YOU after school young lady!” She yelled before retreating back into her classroom, and slamming the door behind her.

Screwball only gave a satisfied smirk at her teacher’s reaction.

“Only giving more time to play Ms. Cheerilee. Big mistake. Hehehehe.” She giggled maniacally.

Screwball stopped laughing when she noticed the two girls staring at her from across the hall, both of them with angry scowls.

“Ooooh, Helloooo there girls!” She said in a sing-song voice as she started to walk towards them.

“I told you never to come anywhere near us Screwball.” Dash growled.

Screwball didn’t seem to take Dash’s warning very serious, as implied by her contained chuckling.

“No need to get so hostile Dashie. Wouldn’t want to get your boxer-shorts in a bunch would you?” Screwball laughed.

Dash, unable to even come up with a better comeback without embarrassing herself, only gritted her teeth in rage.

“Why you little…” She said threateningly.

Screwball put up her hand in an attempt to get Rainbow to be quiet.

“But to be serious for one moment, is either of your locker numbers number 637?” Screwball asked, holding the paper she got from Celestia in front of her face.

“It’s mine. What of it?” Sunset asked with the same amount of venom in her voice.

“Weeeell, it’s just that I’m supposed to be meeting my “Big Sister” assignment here…” Screwball said again in that same, child-like voice, batting her eyelashes innocently.

Sunset then realized what that meant, and her eyes widened in horror.

“Oh fuck me.” She whispered.

Screwball continued her laughing fit after seeing the look on Sunset’s face.

“So Celestia tries to change me by putting me in the company of an evil demon from another dimension huh? The logic here is OVERWHELMING!” Screwball said.

Screwball was starting to infuriate Sunset to the point where Dash had to step in to keep her from doing something she’d regret, which she did by releasing some frustration of her own.

“Watch it Screwy. You try ANYTHING funny, and Principal Celestia will be the LEAST of your problems. And I haven’t forgotten about the dead fish thing. How’d you even get that thing in my locker?!” Dash growled.

Screwball shrugged.

“One of the benefits when your dad has keys to all the lockers I suppose.” Screwball answered nonchalantly.

Rainbow crossed her arms.

“Figured Discord had something to do with it. I swear, wherever that creep goes, trouble follows.” She said.

Screwball groaned and lifted her head to face the ceiling.

“Wow. And here I thought Celestia had a big stick up her ass.” Screwball said.

At this point, both Sunset and Dash were practically steaming, and both of their faces were full of blistering fury.

“But I digress. Looks like I’ll be sticking with Sunny here from now on. Beats reform school by a looong shot anyway…oh but alas I’ll be a bit late hanging out today, seeing how I’ve got detention to serve.” Screwball said with a bit of fake and overdramatic despair in her voice, putting a hand to her forehead.

Sunset raised an eyebrow.

“And just what did you do?” she asked.

“Well, let me just go on the record by saying that Cheerilee doesn’t seem to appreciate jokes directed at her mother…huh. The more you know.” Screwball replied.

“You’re evil, you know that?!” Dash yelled.

Screwball giggled again.

“The evilest. I’ll see you later buddies!” Screwball said before giving a confused Sunset Shimmer a big hug, with an evil smirk on her face. After she let go, she started to leave the hall, with a bit of a childish skip in her walk. On her way out, she tripped a passing Silver Spoon, causing her to fall on the ground and lose her glasses Velma-style.

Both girls’ anger had simmered down when the little demon of a girl was out of sight.

“I think this might be karma’s way of getting back at me for the whole thing at the Fall Formal. Of all the kids in this school, and I get stuck with HER.” Sunset growled.

Rainbow shrugged.

“Could be. Who knows? Sometimes life just comes along and gives you a swift kick in your rear end. It sucks, but it happens to everyone.” Dash said.

Unfortunately, Rainbow may have jinxed things, because at that moment, a young boy snuck up behind Sunset, and kicked her right in the butt without any warning, and ran off.

To say the least, she was infuriated.

“HEY! THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF THINKING YOU CAN JUST-“

“Uhh, Sunset?” Dash said, tearing a piece of paper off her back. Sunset took one look at it, and saw that Screwball had planted a “Kick Me” sign on her.

“Must’ve gotten this on ya when she hugged you. Crazy little brat.” Dash said.

Sunset eyes started glowing red, and one of the veins in her forehead looked like it was going to pop. She even started grinding her teeth.

“Uhhh, I think I’m just gonna…you know…let you gather your thoughts for a bit. K? See ya!” Dash said as she bolted away from the raging Sunset Shimmer.

Upon seeing that she was alone, Sunset tried to get herself together, not wanting her anger to get the better of her.

“Just relax Sunset. It’ll be fine. Screwball may be a little prick, but you can handle this. You gotta play nice now remember?” Sunset assured herself.

Principal Celestia saw the entire thing unfold from her office window, to which she returned to after cleaning out the glove compartment of her car.

Fucking Screwball.

Celestia knew that in every school, there would always be that one student. That one that doesn’t like to comply with the rules, constantly violating school property, and generally liked to cause trouble for everyone.

Heck, even her high school had had one of those students.

Yup. Every school always has a Discord, as she put it.

Celestia sighed, remembering the first day of school last year, being possibly the most disastrous she had ever seen. Before then, everything had been under control, aside from the fiasco at the Fall Formal. Order had been restored, nobody stepped out of line, and everyone had broken out of their usual social classes and made new friends with people that were slightly different. Everyone was much happier.

Then Screwball showed up.

It was the first day of the new school year, and Celestia had been looking forward to seeing her students’ smiling faces again after a long summer. It was quite impressive how the students had expanded their minds so well after Twilight Sparkle had given them a little bit of a push, and Sunset Shimmer was starting to open up after the mess that happened at the Fall Formal.

So imagine Celestia’s surprise when she pulled into the parking lot to see a huge crowd of students standing outside the school, not a single one inside where they should be.

Celestia turned off her car and got out, wondering just what the situation was. She saw her sister, Vice Principal Luna, desperately trying to push the doors open.

“Luna, what’s going on here? Why won’t the doors open?” Celestia asked.

“Somebody snuck here last night and GLUED them shut! No one can get in!” Luna exclaimed.

Celestia scratched her chin, as if trying to remember something.

‘Hmmm. This seems oddly familiar.’ Celestia thought to herself.

Another voice spoke up from the crowd.

“Oh come on. Am I going to have to bail you out again?” It said

Celestia turned around to see that Discord was making his way through the crowd, carrying a toolbox.

“I swear, sometimes I start to question if any of you could wipe your own asses without me around.” Discord said, putting a hand to his chest.

Celestia frowned on sight of the immensely sarcastic janitor.

“Could you do us all a favor and act mature for once and do your job by getting these doors open?” Celestia asked with a hint of aggravation in her voice.

“Ugggh alright! Just give me a moment.” Discord groaned. He went into his toolbox and pulled out a large drill. He held down the trigger and the drill-bit started to spin rapidly.

He slowly started to move the spinning drill toward one of the screws holding the door in place…

He then proceeded to drop the drill for no conceivable reason and just rammed his body into the door, causing it to collapse from his weight.

“Aaaaand its open!” Discord cheered, but slightly rubbing his shoulder from the pain inflicted upon it.

Celestia and Luna facepalmed in unison.

“Was that really necessary?” Luna asked.

“Hey, you didn’t say HOW you wanted me to get it open.” Discord pointed out.

Celestia sighed in slight irritation.

“Well at least we can get into the school now. I apologize for the delay my dear students, but the schedule will still commence as planned. And if any of you can tell me who did this, then do so as soon as possible.” Celestia called to her students.

A slight murmuring was heard among the many teenagers as to who could have done this as they all flooded into the building. Discord just stood to the side, with a satisfied smirk on his face.

The rest of the day had not gone much better for Canterlot High, or at least, that’s what Luna had told Celestia when she brought a teenage girl wearing a beanie into her office.

“Luna, who is this?” Celestia asked her sister, addressing the girl, who appeared to have a smug smile.

“THIS is our culprit Celestia. She’s the one that locked everyone out of the school this morning, and has continued to cause trouble all day.” Luna said, handing Celestia a folder that opened when she set it on her desk, revealing several photos of the girl’s “crimes”

Upon seeing the evidence, Celestia was hit with a major case of Déjà vu. The photographs depicted the cafeteria in a huge mess of what appeared to be cake batter. Another one showed several students drenched in chocolate milk. And another revealed a huge flood of bubbles and water filling the band room.

‘First the doors, and now all of this? I swear I have seen all of this before.’ Celestia thought.

“Luna can you please leave for a moment while I have a talk with our little suspect?” Celestia asked.

Luna nodded and immediately left the room.

Celestia then turned back to the little girl who was still wearing that insane grin.

“Mind telling me your name?” She asked.

The little girl giggled that sounded both adorable, and maniacal at the same time.

“Name’s Screwball. And I know what you’re about to ask, and the answer is “Yes”. I did EVERYTHING” Screwball chuckled.

Celestia was surprised at just how quickly she confessed. Surely she would’ve put up some sort of denial at some point…right?

“Well Ms. Screwball, do you realize just how serious this type of vandalism is? What exactly are you trying to prove by doing this? It all just looks like pointless destruction to everybody.” Celestia asked.

Screwball started to laugh again.

“I’m not trying to prove anything “Celly”. Other than that I love what I do. But tell me, does any of this seem familiar to you at all?” Screwball asked, stretching out the word “familiar” for quite a while.

Celestia narrowed her eyes.

“I feel as though I’ve seen it all before. Everything that you pulled today looks just like-“ Celestia stopped midsentence at a stunning realization. It all made perfect sense. Back in her high school days, Discord had done the EXACT SAME THINGS to her school, and he also called her by that SAME DAMN NICKNAME.

“By any chance do you know anyone by the name of “Discord”” Celestia asked.

Screwball didn’t answer, but instead took a small picture out of her backpack and handed it to Celestia. Celestia had to do a double take after seeing what the photo had to offer. It showed a wide-smiled Discord blowing bubbles in front of a clapping Screwball, and the words “Daddy’s Little Girl” painted in bold, purple letters at the top.

“No way…” Celestia whispered.

Screwball only giggled at Celestia’s wide-eyed reaction.

“Hehehe. Man did I drop the Atomic Drama Bomb on your ass.” Screwball said…

Celestia had suspended Screwball later that week, but after it was over, she just came right back and continued to cause Chaos all over Canterlot High. After remembering that intensely stressful day, Celestia gently knocked her head on her office door.

“Ugggh. I hope Screwball can learn to not be such an obnoxious brat soon. Maybe this whole thing could do Sunset some good too.” Celestia said to herself...

Author's Note

The whole "School doors being glued shut thing" was something that ACTUALLY HAPPENED as the senior prank at my high school last year.

Nobody graduated because of that...

Screwball vs. Rarity

Sunset chugged down another soda as she tried to tame the pounding that resided in her head. All of her friends sat in Sugarcube Corner with her, all except for Rarity who seemed to be running a bit late, and questioned her about why she looked so stressed.

“So ya’ll got stuck with Discord’s kid?” Applejack asked.

Sunset reluctantly nodded.

“Uh huh.” She mumbled.

“Oh. Why’s that such a bad thing Sunset?" Fluttershy asked in a whisper.

Everyone in the room shot her a look that said “Seriously?”

“Oh I don’t know Fluttershy. Maybe it’s because Screwball’s a minion of the fucking Anti-Christ.” Sunset said with some sarcasm.

“…Oh.” Fluttershy squeaked, retreating behind her pink hair.

“Calm down girls; Screwball isn’t all that bad! I mean, remember when she was throwing balloons filled with chocolate milk everywhere last year? It tasted soooo gooood!~” Pinkie said cheerfully.

The others remembered that day pretty well. First the doors got glued shut, then the band room got flooded, and then came the chucking of chocolate milk balloons (which is around the time Pinkie Pie showed up with a catcher’s mitt)

Sunset’s eye twitched slightly and she took another swig at her soda. Pinkie was nice and everything, but Sunset sometimes felt her brain cells slowly deteriorating whenever she talked to her.

“So when’s she getting out of detention? I kinda need to know when to leave.” Rainbow asked.

Sunset gave Rainbow an annoyed look, but just sighed in response to her aching head caused by Screwball earlier that day.

“Well considering my amount of luck lately, I’d say she’d be here in about-“

All five of the girls immediately perked up at a loud, rumbling sound coming from outside Sugarcube Corner. The source of the sound was a purple/chrome dirtbike pulling into the parking lot, stopping its obnoxious noise when its driver shut the bike off and put up the kickstand. The biker sitting on it took off her helmet, revealing her purple and white highlighted hair, and set it on the handlebars of the bike.

She then proceeded to burst through the doors of Sugarcube corner, causing one of them to slam a passing Octavia in the face, knocking her to the floor.

“AAAAND THE LIFE OF THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED!” Screwball shouted, disrupting the usual, quiet nature of the bakery.

“-about zero seconds.” Sunset finished, head-desking at Screwball’s abrupt entrance.

Screwball turned to see the six girls staring from across the room. Applejack and Rainbow were looking pretty annoyed, Sunset had her forehead pressed against the table, Pinkie still had that unconditional smile, and Fluttershy just kinda hid behind her hair.

“Well if it isn’t my five favorite people in the whole wide world all in one place!” Screwball shouted in sheer joy, but then noticed the absence of Rarity.

“Wait a sec. There were six of you. Did the priss not feel like showing up?” Screwball asked, scratching her head.

“Do ya really care? Or are ya’ll just plannin’ in screwing with our heads?” Applejack asked with some aggression.

“Calm down AJ, I’m not here for her anyway. I need THAT one.” Screwball said, pointing at Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset raise her head, looking at Screwball with an unamused stare.

“Do we seriously have to do this now Screwball?” she asked.

“Hey, the arcade’s high scores don’t demolish themselves, and besides, you’re supposed to be a good role model. And if you’re gonna do something, the least you could do is do it right.” Screwball said with a smug smile.

Sunset grumbled obscenities under her breath, and just chugged down more soda.

Rainbow had taken notice of Screwball’s dirtbike in the parking lot, and looked legitimately stunned.

“Are you even old enough to drive that thing? No, scrub that. How’d you even AFFORD it?!” Dash questioned.

Screwball thought to herself for a moment before she even dared telling Rainbow anything concerning her bike…

Screwball watched from the shadows as hundreds of teenagers exited the school building, completely unaware of her presence. At the moment, she was wearing a black fedora on her head, which hid most of her face as it was pulled down, and a brown jacket over her torso.

“Good, nobody’s watching. Better get to the rendezvous while the coast is clear.” She said to herself, quickly moving round to the side of the building, where she saw a girl standing there, wearing the same outfit as she was. She was obviously a few years older than Screwball, her skin a light, plum color, and pink hair.

“You got the stuff?” The girl asked.

Screwball smirked as she took a large bottle of wine out of her jacket’s pocket and showed it to the girl, who appeared to be drooling at the sight of it.

“I take it that this meets your expectations then?” Screwball asked with a smile.

“Oooooh yes! Gimmie gimmie!” She shouted, trying to reach the bottle, with Screwball holding it behind her back, just out of her reach.

“Hold it Punch. Five hundred bucks. Now.” Screwball said.

Berry recoiled after hearing Screwball’s outrageous pricing.

“W-What?! That’s highway robbery!” Berry exclaimed

“You want it or not? I got shit to do, so I haven’t got all day.” Screwball asked with the best, shit-eating grin she could muster.

Berry angrily grumbled as she handed Screwball five, hundred dollar bills, and Screwball handed the wine over to Berry.

“You’re lucky I’m an alcoholic.” She growled before walking away with her wine.

Screwball looked at the money in her hand and giggled.

“Jeez, I honestly didn’t think that would work. I mean, I knew Berry was a hopeless drunk but…damn.” Screwball said to herself.

“That’s on a need-to-know basis Rainbow, and you don’t need to know how I can afford my “Sexy” Screwball said.

Applejack mentally facepalmed after hearing that.

“Ya’ll seriously named yer dirtbike “Sexy?” she asked.

Screwball shrugged.

“So what? It makes it sound badass.” Screwball defended her bike’s name.

While Sunset was rolling her eyes at Screwball, the door to Sugarcube Corner opened, and Rarity walked in, looking like she was going to burst into tears at any second. As she passed by the counter, Mr. Cake sniffed the air, and immediately covered his noes to block out some sort of foul stench, and ran into the back.

When she reached her friend’s table, they too caught wind of it, and also covered their noses, all except for Screwball who didn’t seem to mind.

“Ugggh! Damn Rarity! If you’re gonna crack one off you could at least warn us!” Rainbow shouted.

“O-Oh my.” Fluttershy mumbled.

Screwball raised an eyebrow and snickered.

“Awwww, what’s the matter princess? Did you gain half a pound?” Screwball asked.

Rarity clenched her teeth at the sight of Screwball and completely flipped.

“YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME YOU LITTLE WRETCH! MY LOCKER WAS RIGGED WITH A STINKBOMB THAT EXPLODED RIGHT IN MY FACE!” Rarity screamed.

Screwball didn’t look the slightest bit fazed by Rarity’s yelling, and appeared to only smile at her misery.

Sunset smelled the terrible stench coming off of Rarity and visibly flinched.

“Jesus H. Christ Screwball, what the fuck’d you put in that thing?” Sunset asked.

Screwball put a finger to her chin as she tried to recall.

“Hmmm let’s see…Uhh, toilet water, fish guts, and a bit of dad’s cheap-ass aftershave. And I have to say, I’m pretty happy with the results.” Screwball giggled.

Rarity’s face looked like it was turning green, and she quickly ran into the bathroom to puke.

“On that note, we should probably get outta here before Rarity comes back and tries to strangle me. So Sunny, feel like taking a ride on “Sexy?” Screwball asked.

Ignoring how fucking wrong that sounded, Sunset shook her head.

“Not if you’re driving. I don’t think “dying in a horrible, tragic death in a dirtbike accident” is on my to-do list today.” Sunset said sarcastically.

“Ugggh, wimp! Whatever, we’ll walk I guess. I’ll get dad to pick up my bike later.” Screwball groaned as the two headed out the door, Screwball again slamming a recovering Octavia in the face with it while Sunset mouthed a quick “I’m so sorry” in her direction.

“Awwww! Isn’t that just adorable!?~” Pinkie squealed.

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Pinkie, what part of that was cute? Cause ah think ah might’ve missed it.” Applejack asked sarcastically.

Author's Note

Couldn't think of a decent name for this chapter, so this is what you get. :P

Also, Screwball selling Berry Punch alcohol as a source of income is another example of my IRL, half-assed school...My god, I need to change my environment...

Anyway...

Demon child: 1

Rarity: 0

Who is Strife?

“AAARRGH! FUCK!” Screwball screamed in frustration as the arcade game let out a loud “GAME OVER” in a demonic sounding voice.

Sunset, who had been watching from next to her, facepalmed, pretty unsurprised by the twelve-year old’s reaction.

“I seriously wish you’d quit swearing.” Sunset mumbled.

“Why? I hear you use those words all the time.” Screwball asked.

“It just sounds bad coming from little kids. Just let the adults have their language.” Sunset said.

“Pfft. Yeah, that’ll happen.” Screwball scoffed, turning back to the machine, taunting her with the high score screen. She had been ten points behind the current high score, and then the fat Italian plumber decided he was gonna fall down a hole to his death.

Brilliant.

“Well there’s no way I’m gonna let that guy one-up me like that. You don’t troll Screwball. Screwball trolls YOU!” Screwball shouted at the screen, typing something into it. When she was done, the score screen read this:

High Scores

B.Mash………………………………………………..17283
Is an asshole………………………………………..17273

“Well that’s real mature.” Sunset said sarcastically.

“Oh, I’M not mature? Sorry, but who’s the one that went power crazy and tried to take over an alternate dimension just cause she lost her crown?” Screwball asked, very clearly mocking Sunset.

Sunset grinded her teeth.

“I’ve put that behind me. I was a major ass, and I’ve done my time for it.” She growled.

Screwball rolled her eyes.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Sunny.” She said.

Suddenly, Screwball’s cell phone rang with possibly the most loud and obnoxious ringtone on Earth.

It sounded kind of like a screaming cat being shoved up a camel’s ass.

Sunset covered her ears in and groaned in agony

“Is that SERIOUSLY your phone?!” She screamed.

“Hehe. You should see this thing in action at the movie theater.” Screwball chuckled.

Screwball took her phone out of her pocket, pressed the touch-screen, and answered it.

“Yello?...Woah, whoa. Joe, calm down! You’re talking too damn fast; it’s like you’re speaking some other language…Wait he…BWahahahaha!...What, no I wasn’t laughing…Ok ok, let’s just calm the fuck down here…Wait…YOU DID WHAT?! OH YOU’RE GONNA WAKE UP TOMMOROW UNDERWATER WHEN I’M DONE WITH YA!” Screwball screamed before hanging up.

“What the heck was that about?” Sunset asked.

“Apparently Donut Joe caught Strife digging in his garbage for the fifth time this week, and he took him to the animal shelter. Well I'll tell you what, that guys' definitely on my list now, right between the egotistic cheerleader, and that freak that always calls himself "The Doctor"...the hell does that even mean?” Screwball answered.

“So what, Strife’s like your dog or something?” Sunset asked.

“Racoon” Screwball said.

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Should’ve guessed.” She said.

“Anyway, looks like I’m gonna have to pay a visit to Fluttershit to bail him outta there. Awesome.” Screwball groaned.

Sunset scratched her chin for a moment.

“Hmm. It’s too far to walk there, so unfortunately for me, I’m gonna have to drive you. But I’m telling you right now, if you mess up my car, I’ll wring your neck! Got it?” Sunset threatened.

“Yeah sure, just as long as I get my raccoon outta pest jail.” Screwball said, waving her hand.

After Sunset and Screwball exited the arcade to retrieve Screwball’s pet raccoon, a young boy wearing a beanie similar to Screwball’s passed by the machine Screwball had recently played.

“Alright time to see if my high score’s still-“ He stopped midsentence when he saw what the screen had to offer. His score was still at the top, but what he primarily focused on is the score that followed his.

“…W-W…WAAAAAA! MOOOOOM!” he wailed, allowing Screwball to hear the last bit of his crying on her way out, causing her to smirk.

“Hehehe. Ain’t I a stinker?”

Author's Note

Yeah, I know it's a little short, but this one is basically serving as a bridge for the next chapter, which is where we learn what caused Screwball to act like such a little prick (aside from Discord's parenting of course.)

Warning: Sad Chapter Ahead!

Sunset was currently driving Screwball to the animal shelter where Fluttershy volunteers; the same place where her pet raccoon was currently being held. Normally, Sunset found driving to be a relaxing experience; a good thing to calm down after a stressful day of being a teenager.

AND ANOTHER ONE GONE, AND ANOTHER ONE GONE!

…Of course this time she was riding with Screwball in the car, who felt the need to sing (very incoherently I might add) to the lyrics of “Another one Bites the Dust” playing in her earbuds.

This is basically the perfect scenario for some genuine, Sunset Shimmer brand, road-rage.

Screwball’s terrible singing was starting to throw off Sunset’s driving, prompting another driver to loudly honk his horn at her.

“SHUT UP!” Sunset screamed at him, slamming down on her horn.

“YEAH I GOT A HORN TOO PAL! PISS OFF!” She yelled.

Screwball pulled the earbuds out of her ears and wore an annoyed look on her face.

“Do you mind? Some people are trying to rock out here.” Screwball said.

“Sorry, but it’s kind of difficult to keep my cool when you won’t shut up. So unless you feel like getting killed in a car crash, I suggest you be quiet.” Sunset retorted.

Screwball was about to launch one of her smartass comebacks, but realized that getting killed as a twelve-year old didn’t sound very appealing.

“Yooou, make a decent point. Fine, I’ll just stick to trolling people on the internet.” Screwball said, typing something into her smart-phone, grinning evilly as she did so. After a few moments, the “Notifications” sound played on her phone, and she clicked it again. Almost immediately she burst out laughing.

“Oh god, I know I’m gonna regret this, but what’s so funny?” Sunset asked, fearing the answer.

“It just amazes me how amazingly stupid some people on the internet can be. You’re not supposed to respond to a troll, such as myself. That’s like, EXACTLY what I wanted. Idiots.” She laughed.

Sunset wanted to facepalm to the point where her hand would shoot out the back of her head, but resisted due to having to drive. Instead, she had to try a different approach.

“Screwball, what in the hell is wrong with you?” She asked.

Screwball perked up before answering.

“Why whatever do you mean Sunny?” She asked.

“I mean, what’s your beef with everybody? Why the hell do you have to drive everyone nuts?” Sunset asked again.

All of a sudden, Screwball’s usual, happy and slightly insane demeanor went into extreme decline, and she looked slightly angry and sad at the same time.

“…I’m not sure. I didn’t plan on recounting the terribly tragic backstory that is my life today. Besides, why should I?” She asked.

Sunset sighed.

“Look kid, you don’t like me, and BELIEVE ME the feeling is mutual. But you’re stuck with me, so we might as well learn to tolerate each other. Now, did something terrible happen to you, or were you just dropped on your head or something?” Sunset asked.

“Hehe. Both. Look, I’ll tell you alright. But I’m gonna warn you. I tend to get a little…emotional whenever I have to tell this. I freaking drove my parole officer crazy with my tears last time.” Screwball said.

Sunset looked a little surprised for a minute. From her point of view, it looked like Screwball was actually trying to be serious.

‘Oh jeez this is gonna be sad.’ Sunset thought.

And so begins the extremely long and depressing story of Screwball’s life.

“Well let’s start back when I was first born. Dad was in college at the time-“

“Wait a second. How in the HELL did DISCORD get into college?!” Sunset asked.

Screwball held up her hand.

“Hey, who’s telling the story here?”

“Sorry. You were saying?”

“Ahem. Yes. Well as I was saying, Dad was in college, and he was actually pretty close to graduation at this point. But he ended up having to drop out. The reason? You see, he was at one of those legendary college parties. You know the ones right? Music that makes your ears bleed, setting your friend’s sofa on fire, that kind of thing? So some evil genius thought it would be funny to spike the punch, he and this other girl got SUPER wasted and well…” Screwball then pointed at herself.

“…And here I am.” She said.

Sunset had been too shocked for words. This entire time she had seen Screwball as nothing but an annoyance, and she didn’t actually take into account that she could have been illegitimate.

‘Wow, I…kinda feel like a bitch.’ She thought.

“To make things worse, my mother wanted to give me up for adoption. Now what her reasoning would have been, I have no fucking clue. Why would ANYONE not want to keep me? Dad on the other hand was a bit more considerate of me. And after I was born, he actually wanted to keep me. Good thing too. If he hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t be the mastermind I am today. But dear old mom on the other hand, didn’t give a rat’s furry ass and bailed out the second she got the chance, which left only Dad to take care of me.” Screwball said, sounding a little sad at the mention of her mother, but kept her composure.

“But it wasn’t just Dad that gave me the idea to prank the shit out of everyone. And I didn’t just wake up one day and decide “I think I’m gonna troll everything that breaths.” No. I was sort of…pushed.” She said.

“Oh god, what happened?” Sunset asked.

Screwball rested her chin on the top of her fist.

“All that happened when I was about ten. Back at my old school, I was teased non-stop. Most of the asshole’s insults weren’t even clever like mine. Screwed Senseless, Purple Twat, I mean who the hell came up with this shit? But that’s beside the point. There was this one bitch that was probably the worst out of all of them. Her name was Jet Stream or something, I don’t really remember. With her it was constantly hurling insults, sicking her little minions on me to break into my locker and all that shit. Kids can be so very cruel you know.”

Sunset nodded.

“But then there came that one point where she crossed the line. She had her cronies sabotage my locker to spit ink whenever it was open. By now, I know enough about ink trolling to know that that shit DOES NOT COME OUT…wow I think I’m turning into Rarity. I can see it right now. ‘Ohhh Daaahling Pleeeaaase!’” she said, imitating Rarity’s voice and pushing her hair out of her face.

Sunset’s sense of humor was usually kind of dry, but she had to admit, that was pretty good, though she resisted the urge to laugh, seeing as Screwball was actually trying to tell a tragic life story here.

“Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was covered in ink, she was laughing, her dumb minions were laughing, the other kids were laughing, some of THE FUCKING TEACHERS FOR GOD’S SAKE. I was the butt of every joke after that fiasco. I swear I didn’t come out of my room for about a week after that. I had gone full emo that week, and let me tell you, it’s not a good experience. Eventually, Dad came up there to check up on me (or maybe he was getting sick of hearing the same depressing song on loop for five days straight, I’m not really sure). He told me that if I wanted to get people to quit laughing at me, then I needed to make an example out of one of them. He also said that whenever he didn’t feel so great back in high school there was one thing that made him laugh more than anything.” Screwball said

Sunset raised an eyebrow.

“Which was?”

Screwball let out a small giggle.

“Chaos…Duh.” She said.

“Figures.” Sunset responded.

“He had shown me some of the stuff he pulled back when he and Celly were back in high school, and I have to say, Dad is a fucking glorious bastard, he is. And with all that in mind, I went back to school. And I was back with a vengeance BITCH!” Screwball shouted.

“And who was that one kid I made an example out of you may ask? None other than Jet-mother-fucking-Stream. I went all out on this one. All day she was questioning why a snapping turtle had been in the girl’s bathroom and straight up chomped her ass, why some random girl in a purple cape flour-bombed her in the face, or why her locker had been rigged to explode with Chinese Fireworks. After that last one, she ended up on the floor with the most hilarious look on her face and her eyebrows were fucking GONE! Meanwhile, I was on the ground laughing my little heart out…I’m just too awesome aren’t I? Unfortunately, the principal didn’t take to kindly to my antics, and she expelled me. Yeah, unlike Celly who stuck me with you, she didn’t take any of my crap. And I ended up transferring to Canterlot High a while later, were to this day, I continue my…ahem…”Reign of Terror.” That moment where I had prank-nuked the mega-bitch had been so hilarious, that there’s no way I could end things off there. I mean, I’ve never laughed that hard in my life, and laughter feels good ya know? I also had to make sure nobody ever fucked with me EVER again, so that’s pretty much how I ended up where I am now. Satisfied?” Screwball asked.

Sunset didn’t even know what to say. The entire time she had been trolling everyone because she didn’t want to relive her old school days of sadness and teasing? Not to mention she found it WAY too funny to quit.

“Well…damn kid I…I’m sorry to hear that.” Sunset said.

Screwball waved her hand.

“Naah, don’t be. I’m over all that now. I kind of do all that just for the hell of it now. No strings attached anymore.” Screwball said.

Sunset had to take her attention back to the road but took one last glance at Screwball, who thought that Sunset wasn’t looking when a slight tear fell out of her right eye.

“…Mostly anyway.” Screwball whispered to herself.

Strife Vs. "The Stare"

“Now please just try to calm down. Nobody here is going to hurt y-“ Fluttershy’s soothing words had fallen on deaf ears, as a loud, hissing sound had continued to erupt from the dog crate before her, a sticky-note on top of it reading, ‘Extremely Aggressive. Keep separate from other animals’ in large, red letters.

The owner of the animal shelter had to leave the store to run a few personal errands, and had left Fluttershy in charge of the place while he was out. Seeing as Fluttershy usually has a pretty good head on her shoulders when it came to animals, she considered herself capable of the task.

What she HADN’T counted on, was the raccoon that had just been brought in being this uncooperative.

“Oooh. Why are you so angry? Can you at least attempt to act a little-“ The raccoon in the cage once again failed to give any sign that he had a soul and hissed again. Fluttershy flinched slightly as the cage shook in response to the creature’s angry thrashing. She was actually starting to get the impression that this raccoon was possessed by the Devil or something. Nothing else could be this pointlessly pissy.

Fluttershy was at the end of her rope. Her usually soft and caring expression had changed into a stern glare, and she had her mouth curved into an angry frown.

“Now listen here! I’ve done nothing but be nice to you, and you continue to be difficult, mean, and overall unpleasant! So I suggest you shape up or I’ll have to tell your owner how you’ve been behaving!” Fluttershy exclaimed, slightly raising her voice. The raccoon didn’t seem to care for Fluttershy’s warning and continued to hiss in rage.

Fluttershy had had enough.

She had to resort to “The Stare.”

Upon seeing the wide-eyed, unblinking, angry glare on the girl’s face, the raccoon’s ears folded back. He shuffled to the back of his cage, whimpering slightly as he stuck his tail between his legs.

It was at that moment that the door to the shelter opened, prompting Fluttershy to stop her stare-down with the raccoon and look toward it. Entering the building were two faces that were familiar to Fluttershy.

“Oh. Sunset, I didn’t know you were coming h…oh dear.” She took one look at Screwball, who stood about a foot behind Sunset, and knew something wasn’t right with her. In a sharp contrast to her usual sarcastic and smug know it all prankster air about her that she usually possessed, Screwball simply had a forlorn look on her face.

To say the least, everything about this scenario just looked…wrong.

“Umm…Screwball? Are you alright?” She asked.

Screwball looked mildly annoyed, something that was quite rare on the young girl.

“Just peachy Flutters…no.” she said, nearly mute at the end of her statement.

Fluttershy raised a curious eyebrow.

“I don’t think you’re telling me the truth Screwball. You can tell me anything, trust me.” Fluttershy said in her usual, comforting tone of voice.

Screwball was obviously not in the mood for Fluttershy’s prying, and her expression hardened.

“Look Flutters. You’re a nice girl and everything; but I am REALLY not in the talking mood right now. So just take your persistency, and stick it right up your-“ Sunset covered Screwball’s mouth with her hand before she said something she’d regret later.

“Fluttershy, did Donut Joe drop off a raccoon earlier?” She asked.

Fluttershy nodded and pointed to the dog crate in the middle of the room.

“Yes, he’s right over there. Is he yours?”

“Not quite. He’s Screwball’s. Apparently he’s been digging in Donut Joe’s trash.” Sunset said.

Fluttershy looked at Screwball, then at the cage, and back to Screwball. She could kind of see Screwball owning something that is normally considered a pest as a pet. Especially one that’s this…energetic.

“Alright, you can take him home. Just be careful. He’s in a bit of a foul mood.” Fluttershy warned.

“Hey, if I was stuck in a cage all day, I’d be pissed off too. It’s really a wonder he hasn’t clawed your eyes out yet Fluttershy.” Screwball said.

Both Fluttershy and Sunset turned their head toward her with equally disturbed looks on their faces.

“…Okay, even by your standards that was messed up.” Sunset said in a mix of a somewhat creeped out but at the same time amazed tone.

Screwball ignored her and walked over to the cage. She kneeled down to the raccoon inside’s eye level.

“Hey Strife? You alright?”

Strife took notice of his owner coming to his aid and made a few squeaking noises.

“I know. Just trying to have a decent meal and then BAM! Pest jail! Life sucks that way sometimes doesn’t it?”

Strife made a few more squeaking sounds and appeared to roll his eyes in a sarcastic manner.

“Well it’s alright, cause Joe’s a bitch. We’ll get back at em’ for this, I can guarantee you that.”

While Screwball and Strife were plotting their revenge for later, Sunset was having a conversation of her own with Fluttershy. Unsurprisingly, the subject was Screwball.

“So Sunset, how’s things going with Screwball?...If you don’t mind me asking.” Fluttershy asked shyly.

“It’s harder than I thought…by a lot. Screwball has had possibly one of the shittiest lives I’ve ever heard of, which explains her…behavior, quite a bit. The thing is…” Sunset stalled for a moment and looked at the girl across the room, conversing with her pet.

“…I can’t relate with her. She enjoys her persona WAY too much to stop her pranking, and I can’t figure out how to go about this.” Sunset said.

“Oh dear…Well, the way I see it, people like Screwball may just need a little kindness and understanding so others can get through to them. Try showing her that you can understand her way of thinking.” Fluttershy suggested.

“And that’ll get her to quit acting like a brat?”

“Well…It might get her to put an end to the damage she inflicts on Canterlot High if that’s what you’re asking.”

Screwball walked back to the two older girls, now with Strife sitting happily on her shoulder, sounding like he was purring. It appeared that with her pet raccoon now in-tow, Screwball looked to be a lot more like her usual, smartass self…

Although neither Sunset or Fluttershy could really decide if that was actually a good thing.

“Umm…Screwball, I’ve been meaning to ask…is it even legal to own those things?” Sunset asked, pointing at Strife.

“Uhhhh……..define ‘legal.’” Screwball said.

Sunset facepalmed.

“Sometimes I forget who I’m even talking to when I try to apply logic…Whatever. Just make sure that thing doesn’t piss on my seats.” Sunset grumbled.

“Relax Shimmer, Strife is perfectly trained to use a litter box.” Screwball assured her before she walked out the door of the shelter and to Sunset’s car. Sunset started to follow suit, but before she could leave Fluttershy stopped her.

“Remember what I said Sunset. Kindness and understanding.” She said…

Following Fluttershy’s advice was going to prove to be a LOT more difficult than Sunset imagined. Why? Because it seemed like Screwball was going out of her way to act as obnoxious as humanly possible on the car ride to her home.

Similar to last time, Screwball found it appropriate to listen to her music on her earbuds full blast and sing along to them…

Loudly.

And it was “What Does The Fox Say?”

It was at this point that Sunset was sort of hoping that something would kill her on the road. Anything to rid herself of the ear rape that was Screwball’s singing of that annoying-as-hell tune.

Sunset then started to smell something in the car. She couldn’t quite place the smell, but whatever it was, it smelled terrible. This hadn’t been in her car previously, and she began to wonder what it was, and how Screwball was dealing with this.

It wasn’t until then that she realized the thing that hadn’t been in the previous car ride before was here now.

Strife sat in the back seat of the car, a relaxed smile on the animal’s face. Sunset looked at the creature’s paws and noticed the wet spot sitting below him.

‘…She lied to me.’ Sunset thought to herself.

This was going to be tougher than she thought.

Author's Note

Jeezus, I took too long to update. :P

Yeah, at the beginning, Screwball was a little messed up after having to recall her shitty past, but managed to recover after reuniting with Strife. It's sort of the same level of comfort petting a cat would bring you. They relieve stress...

Assuming your a cat person anyway.

But, this is Screwball, so it had to be something a little more unusual.

A Serious Conversation

“I’m sorry, but do you always sing that badly?” Sunset asked as she and Screwball got out of the car, now parked in the driveway of Discord’s house. Most of it was about what you would expect from a single parent with an occupation such as a janitor. Dead tree in the front yard, a few shingles missing from the roof, and some graffiti painted on the garage door spelling out the words “The system is broke.” Whether it was some delinquent’s doing or Screwball’s, Sunset wasn’t entirely sure.

“Whaaaat?! Telling a child that her singing voice does not meet your standards? I for one am shocked and appalled Ms. Shimmer!” Screwball said, crossing her arms and turning her back to Sunset; Strife who had climbed onto Screwball’s shoulder from the car, mimicked his owner and also turned his back and crossed his front legs.

This is what was going to make being nice to Screwball so difficult. Sunset couldn’t ever seem to tell whether Screwball was just messing with her, or when she was legitimately hurt. On the car ride and in the animal shelter, she had made it painfully obvious that she was upset. Here though, she couldn’t really see it.

“…Awww, I’m just messin’ with ya. To be truly honest, I’m usually pretty good actually. Daddy’s always telling me how wonderful my singing voice is.” Screwball admitted, turning her head back to Sunset with a smirk.

“Sooo…”

“What?...Oh that? Pffft. I really thought you knew me by now and how much I love getting on people’s nerves.”

“You were…singing badly on purpose?”

“Yepperooni!”

Part of Sunset wanted to like Screwball. She gets that Screwball was known as the hellspawn of Canterlot High for a reason, but she was REALLY starting to oversell it.

“My God.” Sunset groaned as she rubbed her eyelids.

Screwball got up on her tip-toes, attempting to get up to Sunset’s eye-level, but as expected she was simply too short.

“Hmm? Something the matter Sunset?” Screwball asked in a tone that, as usual, couldn’t be labeled as genuine or not.

While Sunset was pretty sure that Screwball wasn’t particularly concerned, one thing about her question did manage to take Sunset by surprise.

“Hold up…did you just call me Sunset?” she asked.

Screwball shrank back down to her normal height and shrugged. Again, Strife did the same thing as Screwball, shrugging his shoulders as well.

“Well that IS your name isn’t it?” she asked.

“Well yeah. It’s just that…I kinda expected something like ‘Sunny’ or some kind of dumb nickname.” Sunset said.

“Woooow. You really never learn, do you?...alright let me ‘enlighten’ you on the subject. I specialize in Chaos. That much is obvious. Chaos is another word for anything that is incredibly unexpected, unpredictable, and overall, nonsensical. Now, you normally EXPECT me to use some kind of pun pertaining to your name, am I right?” Screwball asked with a slowly growing smile.

“Uhhh…yeah.”

“Exactly my point. See where I’m going here? I live for Chaos, and by actually referring to you by name, I’m being chaotic against my own nature. Got it?” Screwball asked.

Sunset wasn’t entirely aware of what goes through this girl’s head, but somehow that made sense. Chaos was defined as unpredictable and random. And what Screwball was saying was quite far from predictable behavior for her. She actually seemed to be pretty intelligent for her age. She would have to be a mad, devious little genius to come up with half the pranks she does.

But Sunset couldn’t help but feel that Screwball wasn’t telling her the whole story. It almost seemed like she was warming up to her and trying to be a little more considerate, but didn’t want to admit it.

“Unless of course, you’d actually prefer I call you-“

“NO!...Ummm, I mean…no. It’s fine.” Sunset quickly corrected herself from yelling.

Sunset reminded herself that the keyword here was trying.

Screwball looked at the raccoon on her shoulder, who appeared to be purring and rubbing against her face. She scratched under his chin and behind his ears, which resulted in what looked to be a slight smile on the pest’s face.

“Good boy. Now go on the porch m’kay? I’ll be with ya in just a second.” Screwball said. Strife hopped off her shoulder and ran to the porch as he was told. Screwball started to follow him, until she noticed that Sunset was doing the same. She put her arm out, keeping her from advancing any further. This left Sunset thoroughly confused.

“What?”

“Yeaaaah, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come inside.” Screwball said.

“What? Why not?” Sunset asked.

Screwball rolled her purple, spiraled eyes.

“Because you haven’t wiped your feet.” She said sarcastically. “No Sunset, have you forgotten who my dad is?”

“Pfft. How could I forget? It’s the janitor, Discord”

“Yup. Now, who do you think had to clean up and repair the entire front of the school after your little…snafu?” Screwball further questioned.

“Wha-…Oooooh. Yeah, I don’t think he’d be too keen on seeing me right now.” Sunset said, thinking to herself how badly that meeting would go down.

“Exactly…So you should probably just go on home, and we’ll catch back up tomorrow…Sooooo, see ya.” Screwball said, once again turning to leave.

While Sunset was starting to think that Screwball was beginning to actually think of Sunset as a legitimate friend, she still wasn’t all that sure the little girl knew how to deal with it. In the back of her head, Sunset could’ve sworn she heard Fluttershy’s advice repeat itself.

‘Kindness and understanding, kindness and understanding, kindness and understanding’

Sunset considered Fluttershy’s advice for a moment, and came to a conclusion. This was gonna be a bit of a long shot, and could possibly result in another “Kick Me” sign on her back, but there was also the chance that it was going to help in Screwball’s reformation, so she thought it’d be worth a try.

“What? No hug for your big sis?” Sunset asked with a slight smirk.

That statement made Screwball stop cold in mid-skip. Sunset had been wondering how much it took to make Screwball, the chaotic hellspawn of Canterlot High, completely speechless, and it appeared that was it.

“……..Wat?” Screwball asked turning around.

“Well isn’t that what sisters are supposed to do?” Sunset asked.

Screwball went from looking completely baffled, to a mild deadpan expression.

“I’m not related to you.” Screwball said. She was starting to wonder if someone had kidnapped Sunset earlier while she wasn’t looking and replaced her with…whoever the heck this was.

“Yeesh, laying it on a little thick aren’t you kid? Why are you so surprised that I’m trying to actually be nice here?”

Screwball scratched the back of her head and looked awkwardly at the ground.

“…Nobody actually bothers to make an attempt to be nice to me. To everyone at school I’m just the little, heartless demon with no soul or feelings to be hurt. No one wants to be anywhere near me, all Celly does is punish me, and I’ve just kinda been on my own for a while. Guess that’s kind of a big downside to being in the Chaos business.” Screwball sighed, that sad look coming back to her eyes from the animal shelter.

“But…didn’t Fluttershy try to be nice to you? And didn’t you basically tell her to shut up?” Sunset asked.

“I dunno. I wasn’t in the mood for talking, so I probably would’ve said anything to get her to be quiet...ugh what was I thinking? The one time anyone makes an attempt to show me a little freaking concern, and I shove it off. I’m so stupid.” Screwball sighed again.

Sunset didn’t think that Screwball could ever make her feel saddened twice in one day, but once again, Screwball proved her wrong, even if it wasn’t intentional this time.

“Well, if it’s any compensation kid, I’ll be your friend.” Sunset offered.

Screwball was taken off-guard yet again.

“But I…I went out of my way to drive you nuts. That doesn’t…bother you at all?” Screwball asked, slightly tilting her head.

“Screwball, I may not understand what the hell goes on in that head of yours, but I can tell that you need friends. Badly. And besides, I’m pretty sure I’m about a million times worse than you.” Sunset said.

“Woah, what?! Are you forgetting who you’re talking to here? I’m freaking Screwball! I chucked chocolate milk balloons at people!”

“I stole a magical element from another dimension.”

“I glued the doors to the school shut!”

“I betrayed my teacher, who also happened to be the ruler of the entire country.”

“I filled the band room with bubbles!”

“I harassed a Princess unrelentingly”

Screwball was getting slightly irritated. To her it was starting to look like Sunset was trying to show her up, and she wasn’t going to have that on her watch.

“I FILLED THE FOOTBALL TEAM’S BALL WITH HELIUM!”

“I TRANSFORMED INTO AN EVIL SHE-DEMON!”

“I PUT A STINK BOMB IN RARITY’S LOCKER!”

“I HYPNOTIZED THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!”

“MY RACCOON TOOK A LEAK IN YOUR CAR!”

“I DESTROYED THE SCHOOL’S ENTRANCE!”

“I KILLED A MAN!”

“…Really?”

“…….Bwahahahahahahahaha! No not really! Did you seriously think…hahahahahaha!” Screwball burst out laughing. She had apparently gotten to the point where she just started making stuff up. The reality was though that Screwball probably couldn’t top all the stuff that Sunset did.

Sunset found Screwball’s laughter a little contagious this time around, and joined in.

“Hahahahaha! You know Screwball, when you get right down to it, you’re really not all that bad. You kinda remind me of Pinkie Pie. Just a little more…devious.” Sunset said.

“Oh stop it…but seriously, don’t stop.” Screwball said with a confident smile and a slight blush.

“So…friends?” Sunset asked, holding out her hand for a handshake. Instead of taking the handshake however, Screwball went the extra mile and went for a full hug.

“In the words of Applejack’s big bro…Eeyup.” Screwball giggled after letting go of Sunset. She happily skipped back to her house, where Strife was impatiently waiting on the front porch for his master to return.

Sunset relished in the knowledge that she was actually starting to get somewhere with the little criminal, and smiled.

“Probably won’t be too difficult from here on out…then again this IS Screwball I’m talking about, so who knows.” Sunset said to herself. She opened the door to her car, only to be presented with the unforgiving odor of raccoon pee.

“…….But that raccoon of hers is roadkill if I ever see it again.” Sunset growled.

Author's Note

OMC, A CHAPTER WHERE SUNSET AND SCREWBALL AREN'T COMPLETE ASSHOLES TO EACH OTHER!

Also, I kinda noticed that I was making the characters swear too much. I know that that's what real high school is like, but let's face it, I was overselling it. I'm probably going to try and do that a lot less here.

Lastly, if or when I ever get done with this, would you guys want a sequel that is canon to Rainbow Rocks by any chance? Just wondering.

Floor Wax

Principal Celestia was on route to Canterlot High once again the next morning. Against all odds, she managed to get the terrible smell out of her car that had been induced by another one of Screwball’s cruel jokes from the previous day. After seeing how things had first gone when Screwball was first introduced to Sunset Shimmer, her expectations weren’t exactly what you would call “high”

“Rrrgh. Maybe I should’ve just told Discord to discipline his child…ugh. What am I saying? That’d never happen.” Celestia said to herself. Normally, Discord took absolutely nothing seriously. Not his job, not his appearance, and especially not any form of manners or class. But his daughter happened to be the one thing he deeply felt a sense of responsibility for, and if he was told that he wasn’t already doing a good enough job…the outcome probably wouldn’t be pleasant.

Celestia parked her car in the parking lot and took a good look at her workplace. Something about it seemed…off. And not in the sense that Screwball had pulled another act of vandalism…

But the fact that everything was actually relatively normal-looking, something that with Screwball around, seemed to be quite the rarity nowadays.

Celestia did a double take as she looked at the building. She kept reminding herself just who attended here. There just HAD to be something wrong with it. She just wasn’t seeing it.

“Hmmm…She might’ve done nothing to the outside, but the inside is probably a nightmare.” Celestia said to herself as she got out of the car. Going up to the doors of Canterlot High, she started to genuinely question whether she wanted to even see what was on the other side. But seeing as she had a duty as a principle to attend to, she opened the door…

Only to not find anything out of the norm. For once, everything looked like she had left it the previous day.

Celestia was quite pleasantly surprised. Nothing had gone terribly wrong as of yet like it usually does. Nothing looked damaged in the slightest, nobody appeared to be panicking from intense chaos and confusion, and the door to her office wasn’t defaced with graffiti depicting foul language.

“…Well well. This is quite a surprise. Perhaps Screwball finally learned her le-WAAAAH!” Celestia didn’t get the last syllable of her sentence out as she know found herself slipping on the tile floors, seemingly all to easily, as she had barely walked two steps.

She knew it was too perfect.

But this wasn’t one of Screwball’s works. It was much too subtle to be anything of hers.

“Hehehe. Day off to a great start already Celestia?” a voice from behind her chortled. Celestia knew it all too well as the voice of the only one person in the entire school that was a bigger pain in the neck than Screwball herself. To her side was none other than Discord leaning against the handle of his mop, giving off an insulting smirk.

“Discord, you put too much floor wax down…again.” Celestia groaned.

Discord slightly stroked his goatee and looked behind him, seeing that quite a few students happened to be slipping and falling right on their rumps.

“Hmmm. It sure would appear that way wouldn’t it? Whoopsie.” Discord snickered.

Despite the absolutely obscene amount of floor wax that was put down, Celestia managed to get back onto her feet, but not before nearly falling back down a few times, which prompted Discord to laugh a second time.

“Discord, this isn’t funny. Someone could get seriously hurt.” Celestia scolded.

Discord shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, THEY don’t seem to mind.” Discord said pointing to the end of the hall. Celestia turned to see who he was referring to, only to see Pinkie Pie sliding across the floor and straight past them.

“WEEEEEEEEE!” Pinkie squealed as she zoomed past. Not too far behind the pink-haired girl, Screwball slid to her father in a more sophisticated fashion, doing an occasional twirl and sliding on one leg.

“Enjoying the fun are you my little abomination?” Discord asked.

Screwball stopped herself from moving anymore and faced her dad.

“You bet daddy! Loving the floors by the way! Say Celly, ever thought of soap floors by any chance? It’d sure make things a lot less mundane around here.” Screwball said.

Celestia didn’t even bother to respond to such an absurd question, and instead turned to Discord.

“You can’t honestly believe that it’s suitable to refer to your child as an ‘abomination’ can you?” Celestia asked.

“What? Screwball loves it when I call her that; don’t you my dear?” Discord asked his daughter, slightly ruffling her lavender and white highlighted hair, which made Screwball giggle.

“Of course I do. Look Celly, just because the way my daddy raises me may seem a tad unorthodox to you doesn’t mean it’s bad. I happen to LOVE that nickname.” Screwball chastised, slightly hugging her daddy’s torso.

Celestia had to admit that even though Screwball wasn’t pleasant to deal with, her relationship with Discord was rather adorable.

All of a sudden, the doors to the school’s entrance opened. Entering was Sunset Shimmer, who like Celestia also slipped on Discord’s floor wax. This time however, Screwball managed to slide into her path and catch her in time to keep her from hitting the floor.

“Woah, Sunset, watch it! Yeesh, are me and Pinkie the only ones that can handle this?” Screwball asked, as she pushed Sunset back to her feet.

Sunset shook her head and blinked.

“Phew. Thanks for the save Screwy.” Sunset said as she fist-bumped Screwball, both girls giving off a slight smirk.

Celestia was surprised for the second time this morning. These two were getting along a lot better than she had originally thought. And…Screwball WASN’T trying to get on her nerves?

Sunset noticed that Discord didn’t exactly look happy to see her, as shown by his rather angry-looking glare. Sunset could take a wild guess at why he didn’t like her, given the mess she made for him to clean up.

Screwball noticed this and patted her dad’s back.

“Hehe. Don’t mind him Sunset. He’s just still a little pissed about the Fall Formal. Hehehe- Seriously daddy, can you try NOT to kill her today? You DID just wax the floors after all. You wouldn’t want to…make a mess, would you?” Screwball asked. Sunset didn’t even want to even think about the gory imagery that was going on in Screwball’s head right now, and she shuddered slightly.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare think of harming my little girl’s best friend in the whole world. What kind of a father would that make me, hm?” Discord asked.

Celestia pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned.

“Discord, can you just do your job and do something about these floors? Someone’s going to get hurt if this isn’t fixed.” Celestia said.

“Awwwww” Screwball whined. She was just beginning to enjoy the slippery floors too.

Discord patted his child’s head to try and cheer her up.

“Oh relax Screwy. Do you want me to get you some ice cream after school to make up for it?” he asked.

Screwball looked up at her dad and raised an eyebrow.

“…Right. Trick question. Anyway, have a good day dear.” Discord said as he hugged his daughter, to which she happily returned before her dad went sliding on the over-waxed tile floors with his mop in his hand.

Celestia rolled her eyes at her old rival’s rather theatrical but still chaotic exit, and turned her attention back to Sunset and Screwball.

“So, I take it that you two are getting along well? Screwball hasn’t caused you any trouble has she?” Celestia asked Sunset.

Sunset shook her head.

“Not really. She was just sort of trying to keep herself entertained, but was going about it the wrong way. At first she was a little annoying, but…eh, you could say that she kinda grew on me. She’s gonna try to be a little tamer from now on. Riiiight?” Sunset asked Screwball.

“What, are you suggesting that I wasn’t a saint already?” Screwball asked.

“….Yeah, I think that’s way too strong a word here Screwball…look, we really should be getting to class though. Where do you go first period?” Sunset asked.

Screwball slightly tapped her chin as she thought to herself.

“Hmmm, let’s see. I’ve got Gym first today. And I do believe that Coach Iron Will was saying that today we were……..Oh no.” Screwball suddenly looked like she had just seen a ghost when she remembered what Iron Will had planned for her class this day.

“What? What’s the matter?” Principal Celestia asked.

“…Dodgeball.” Screwball whispered, her body shaking a little at the mention of the name.

Author's Note

You'd think that such a chaotic game like Dodgeball would be right up Screwball's alley wouldn't you? Well...you'l find out why she seems to have an issue with it next chapter.

Dodgeball

This was embarrassing beyond comprehension. When Sunset had signed up for the “Big Sister” program, she thought that it’d give her an opportunity for renewal after her rampage at the Fall Formal, and perhaps try to get on the other student’s better side, as a majority of them didn’t quite see her in the best of lights after that whole monstrosity of an event.

However, if the job description had said “A hyperventilating, scared-to-death twelve year old will cling onto your leg and refuse to let go long enough so that everyone in the entire hallway sees it”, she might’ve thought it wasn’t worth the trouble.

“Screwball, what the heck is wrong?!” Sunset yelled.

Screwball wasn’t showing any signs of losing her grip.

“I-I don’t wanna go.” She mumbled.

“What? I know that gym class can be a little intimidating, what with Coach Iron Will and how bad he can be but-“

Screwball looked back up at her mentor and friend with a look of confusion on her features.

“What? Me scared of that joker? Pfft, no. I make fun of that guy all the time. In fact I think I might have a book filled with jokes revolving around that loser somewhere.” Screwball said.

“Lemme guess. They’re all steroid jokes.” Sunset said.

Screwball deadpanned.

“No. That’d be too easy…look, that’s beside the point. The point is that I can’t stand dodgeball Sunset.” Screwball said, still looking pretty worried over having to go to gym class.

“Wait, what? Kids throwing giant rubber balls at each other at breakneck speeds and people getting hit in the face with them doesn’t sound fun to you? Sounds pretty chaotic if you ask me.” Sunset said.

“That’s because you don’t know Chaos like I do. There is a huuuuge difference between a chaotic mess and a complete and total massacre. Look, I’ve got a bad history with this game, let’s just leave it at that. Can you pleaaase just get me out of this?” Screwball begged.

Sunset seriously couldn’t get this through her head. Normally, Screwball would jump at the chance to get in on something this chaotic and pain-inducing. Here though, it was looking more like she actually feared for her own safety than anything else.

“And what exactly do you mean by ‘bad history’ Screwball?” Sunset asked.

Screwball didn’t answer, but simply returned to looking absolutely terrified and shaking, thinking about the last time she was involved in one of these terrible games.

“…Remember that Jet Stream girl I was going on about? Well apparently her and her minions were under the impression that I was immune to pain. Spoiler alert…I’m not. They were completely relentless Sunset. Even when I was cowering on the ground and crying like a little baby, they still didn’t let up.” Screwball said.

Sunset remembered their conversation the day before about Screwball’s old school, and wanted nothing more than to find that Jet Stream girl, and punch her dead in the face for everything she did, even if Screwball already made her pay for it with her social standing as well as her eyebrows.

“Look Screwball, I get that you’re scared, but you can’t just hang onto my leg forever.”

“Yes I can.”

“What about when you have to go to the bathroom?”

“I could probably figure something out!…if given the time.”

“Go to gym class Screwball.” Sunset said with a stern glare.

Screwball could see this was one argument she wasn’t going to get anywhere with, and sighed in defeat.

“…Alright fine. But look, when engraving my tombstone, make sure it says ‘Celestia’s a jerk’ for me, would you?” Screwball said, letting go of Sunset’s leg and standing up.

Sunset groaned in annoyance. Of course she would try and guilt-trip her. Why wouldn’t she?

“You and I both know it’s not going to come to that. Look, you’re used to bringing Chaos wherever you go aren’t you? Do the same thing here. You have what it takes after all. Endless supply of energy, reckless abandon; you got the upper hand, trust me.” Sunset assured her. If Sunset knew anyone that could more than likely hold their own in this game, it’d be Screwball. The problem was, Screwball didn’t think she could due to her previous bullying.

“…Well, when you put it that way…only problem now is that there’s still gonna be an entire team of kids that have a bone to pick with me, and would definitely like to have me on the receiving end of one of those big, red, spheres of certain death.” Screwball said.

“Well…yeah, I’m not gonna sugar-coat it kid, that’s going to be pretty hard to deal with. But try not to let it get to you, okay? Just get in there and show them whose boss.” Sunset said with a smirk.

Screwball’s confidence appeared to begin its return as she dwelled on the possibilities that her genius could bring to a game of dodgeball. A sinister smile began to make its way onto her face, and she started to mischievously rub her hands together, with a slight chuckle for added effect.

Sunset recognized that look. Screwball was definitely plotting something. It only would have been more obvious if she was wearing a black cape, a top hat, and was evilly twirling a handlebar mustache.

“Sunset, you’re going to have to excuse me for a bit. I have some…previous arrangements. Hehehehehe.” Screwball muttered before walking out of Sunset’s line of sight and down the hallway.

Something was wrong here. Sunset could feel it in her gut that something bad was going to happen. For the life of her though, she couldn’t figure out what it was. Something just told her Screwball wasn’t fully over herself and her chaotic ways quite yet.

She was going to need to keep an eye on her. If getting in trouble for skipping class in order to make sure one of the few friends she had right now didn’t have a relapse was what it took, then so be it.

“But why do we have to play with HER?!” Scootaloo yelled to her friend pointing an accusing finger at Screwball, who was leaning against the wall in the gym with an unreadable expression on her face. The entire girl’s team waited for the boys to come out of the locker room to begin the game. Pretty much the entire girl’s team was in the corner whispering obscenities about the purple-haired girl they had to share a team with. In the center of the gym, the dodgeballs were all lined up in preparation for the game.

“Uhhh, yeah. Standing right here ya know. Can hear every word you’re saying.” Screwball grumbled to Scootaloo.

“Coach Iron Will said that we’re playin’ girls vs. boys dodgeball here Scoots, so it’s not like we got much of a choice. Trust me. Ah don’ like this any more than you do.” Applebloom said.

“Still here girls. Haven’t gone anywhere.” Screwball grumbled again.

“Girls come on! She hasn’t tried anything in a while. Maybe she’s actually trying to change!” Sweetie Belle said.

Screwball raised an eyebrow.

“Well at least one of you is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. I suppose it was too safe to assume all of you would though.” Screwball said.

Scootaloo turned back to Screwball with a slight scowl on her face.

“Well can you blame us?!” Scootaloo yelled.

Screwball closed her eyes and sighed.

“Honestly, why the hostility Scootaloo? What’d I ever do to you?” Screwball asked.

“You loosened one of the bolts on my scooter’s wheels which made the whole thing fall apart right under me.” Scootaloo said bluntly.

“And ya’ll TP’d all of the farm’s trees.” Applebloom said with narrowed eyes.

“…Okay, apart from that.” Screwball said as if it was no big deal.

Sweetie Belle sighed and put a hand to her face.

“I think what they’re trying to say Screwball, is that you can’t act like a jerk 99% of the time and expect people to really…” Sweetie Belle trailed off for a moment, almost not wanting to put it as bluntly as the situation truly was. Screwball looked at Sweetie Belle with a questioning look on her face, looking like she expected an answer out of her.

“Ummm…nevermind.” Sweetie Belle said nervously.

Screwball crossed her arms and pouted, her eyes looking to the side.

“Hmph. Am I the only one in this school that isn’t an uptight wuss?” Screwball grumbled. It didn’t matter right now what her team thought of her right now though. She was about to do her team a huge favor.

All of a sudden, the doors on the other side of the gym opened up, revealing the boy’s team coming out of the locker room, along with Coach Iron Will himself. He had an abnormally large upper torso and biceps with very short legs, so short that even Screwball questioned how those little sticks he called legs were able to even lift the rest of him off the ground. On his head was a dark blue Mohawk, a nose ring in his nostrils, and a small whistle around his neck. The enormous man walked to the side of the gymnasium, prepared to watch the carnage that would ensue, clearing his throat before he spoke.

“LISTEN UP PIPSQUEAKS!”

Or yelled.

“TODAY IRON WILL IS PUTTING YOUR PUNY, TOOTHPICK ARMS TO THE TEST IN ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL AND AGONIZING GAMES TO EVER EXIST…DODGEBALL!” Iron Will yelled at the top of his lungs, quickly gesturing his arms to both teams and the middle of the gym.

‘Yeesh, someone needs to tell this guy that he likes his job waaaay more than he should. Seriously, he’s got more ham than a pig farm.’ Screwball thought to herself.

“BOTH TEAMS GET INTO STARTING POSITIONS! AND REMEMBER, SHOW YOUR ENEMIES NO MERCY, NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND! WHEN THEY TRY TO CRAWL, YOU THROW THAT BALL!!!” Iron Will continued to yell. Both teams backed against the wall and prepared to charge toward the middle. Of all of the girl’s team though, Screwball looked the least worried.

“…Ya’ll are lookin’ pretty confident right now Screwball…like…scary confident.” Applebloom said with a slightly uncomfortable look on her face.

“Yeah, did you not catch the part about this being super painful? I mean, I can take it just fine. I’m awesome like that. You though…” Scootaloo said, looking a little confused.

Screwball didn’t need to answer, for after Iron Will blew his whistle, every boy on the other team tried to charge forward for the dodgeballs, but seemed to all slip on their own feet and fell flat on their faces, arms, behinds, and pretty much evevrything else. Some of them were still struggling to stand up and recover from the fall, but found the floor much too slippery to keep their footing.

‘Hehe. Another one of the perks of having a janitor dad. Easy access to janitor’s closet and the beauty that is floor wax inside.’ Screwball laughed internally.

Iron Will was in near shock of what had just transpired.

“WHAT?!?! WHO DARES TO TAMPER WITH IRON WILL’S PLAYING FIELD?!?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!” Iron Will yelled.

Sweetie Belle scooted over to Screwball when she noticed she was chuckling to herself and whispered in her ear.

“Screwball, what the heck’d you do?!”

“Oh, just gave our team a little bit of an edge…you’re welcome by the way.” Screwball said.

All the kids walked out of the gymnasium, many of the boys holding onto their arms, legs, or whatever parts of themselves they had hurt when they fell due to the floor wax spread onto the gym floor. None of the other kids found this nearly as funny as Screwball seemed to, as they all looked at her with irritated looks on their faces, while at the same time, she was still slightly laughing to herself.

“Ohohohoho, that had to be one of my better ones. Don’t see why the girls didn’t take advantage of the boy’s helplessness to beat their faces in, but whatever. Still funny though.” Screwball laughed. She started to remember just why she loved what she did so much. Whenever there was Chaos around, things were bound to get hilarious quickly.

But with Principal Uptight reigning over everyone, Chaos only came around so often, and that was whenever she was around. Nobody else seemed to care for her taste, save for Discord. Everyone else seemed perfectly content with the boredom and predictability. She didn’t understand it in the slightest.

Unfortunately, Screwball was torn from these thoughts when she heard a loud and shrill voice from behind her.

“What in the HELL was that?!?!” it yelled, making Screwball jump. She turned around to see that Sunset Shimmer was looking down at her, looking without a single shadow of a doubt to Screwball, the angriest she has ever seen her.

“…Uh-oh.” Screwball mumbled.

Author's Note

So, Screwball took Sunset's advice way too literally. Where Sunset was telling her to just play the game and have fun...Screwball acted like...well...Screwball, and was a dirty cheater.

Sunset isn't pleased about this. :rainbowderp:

The Argument

Screwball’s feelings regarding this new development were a little wishy-washy, not much different than her thoughts on a regular basis, but these ones were…weird…pretty bad weird. The satisfaction and laughs that she had gotten out of sabotaging the entire boy’s dodgeball team had completely vanished. From the looks of things, Sunset saw what happened in the gym, and well…angry didn’t even seem to even begin describe her face right now.

Screwball started to imagine that, in retrospect, perhaps pulling a massive scale prank such as this when you’re trying to keep a friendship, probably may not have been the best idea.

“Umm…Would you believe me if I told you it wasn’t what it looked like?” Screwball asked with a slightly nervous and sheepish smile.

Sunset wasn’t having any of it though. The mad look on her face wasn’t appearing to be going anywhere anytime soon.

“Oh it isn’t?! Because it sure looked like you nearly killed every boy in that gym! Am I wrong?!” Sunset exclaimed. She wasn’t exactly yelling, but her voice was raised enough to still make Screwball a little uncomfortable.

“…Okaaay, so it is what it looks like, but nobody really got hurt. What the heck are you so mad about?” Screwball asked.

Sunset was practically grinding her teeth at this point. “Screwball, I thought you were done with this! You weren’t supposed to be annoying everybody with your pranks anymore!”

Screwball rolled her purple, swirled eyes, starting to look legitimately annoyed and not feigning it like she usually did in situations like this.

“Sunset, you told me to have fun in gym class and that’s just how I like to have fun. If nobody else likes it, then that’s their problem. I was only doing what you said, so maybe it’s YOUR fault.”

Sunset could seriously not believe what she was hearing. All she told Screwball was to not be scared to death playing the stupid game, and she misinterprets her and pulls something like this.

“How on Earth can you blame ME for something YOU did?! You took my advice the completely wrong way because you can’t get your one-track mind off of making everybody miserable!”

“All you said was that I should have fun, and that’s exactly what I did. Obviously you weren’t clear enough in your advice.” Screwball grumbled with a sort of pouty expression as she glared at Sunset with her arms folded.

For about the millionth time since she had been put with Screwball, Sunset facepalmed. Of course Screwball was just diverting the blame of herself cause she didn’t want to admit she…ugh Sunset was going to kick herself for this… “Screwed up.”

Screwball had seemed to be doing so well too. She hadn’t done anything to anybody at all since she and Sunset had become friends. Although from the looks of it, the second Sunset was out of sight, Screwball was back at it. That wasn’t trying to be a better person, that was just sneaking her pranks in when she thought Sunset wouldn’t notice.

“…You really haven’t learned anything have you?” Sunset practically growled.

Screwball could sense that something was very wrong here. The tone in Sunset’s voice didn’t seem to be very angry like before, but was sounding more like a mix of disappointment and really bad irritation.

It made Screwball’s stomach hurt.

“Umm…I uh…am I supposed to answer that cause…well…for once, I kinda don’t have a smart remark.” Screwball muttered.

“Of course you’re suppo-….No. You know what? Forget it. I am DONE talking to you.” Sunset said. As soon as she said that, Sunset turned her back to Screwball and started to walk away. As imagined, Screwball’s confusion over the matter took hold and she started to follow her.

“Whoa whoa whoa, waitasecond! What do you mean you’re done talking to me?!” She asked Sunset while at the same time walking backwards, facing her.

“Exactly what you’d think it means.” Sunset grumbled.

“Well then explain it to me because I don’t-“

“-It means get out of my way and don’t talk to me ever again.” Sunset interrupted in a rather aggressive-sounding tone.

Screwball flinched at just how careless and angry Sunset’s words sounded. A look of slight hurt and emotional discomfort started to grow on her face, and the pain in her stomach started to escalate.

“W-What…?” Screwball muttered nervously.

“You heard me. If you think you can just go behind my back and pull a stunt like that, then you obviously don’t value my friendship at all. So if you don’t care, then why should I?” Sunset growled, starting to walk faster and past Screwball, carelessly bumping into her shoulder as she walked past.

Screwball didn’t stop following her though, and tried to keep up as much as she could, starting to grow a little more hurt and panicky.

“B-But Sunset, it was just a prank! I-I didn’t think you’d get this mad at me!” Screwball stuttered over her words again, her voice starting to crack slightly at just how nervous she was getting.

“Well, you thought wrong. You can’t keep doing this and expect people to actually deal with it. The point is, I’m not putting up with it anymore. We are DONE!” Sunset at this point made her resolve as blunt and clear as it could possibly be. Not wanting to weaken said resolve by seeing what it would cause, Sunset simply turned away from Screwball and walked down the hall, out of sight.

Screwball didn’t bother following her this time. What Sunset just told her had completely shocked and hurt her beyond words. She just stood with her mouth agape in the empty hallway with nothing but the sound of her slight whimpering flowing through it. Her swirled, hypnotic eyes started to tear up and her bottom lip started to quiver.

“B-But I-I…I thought that…you were my f-friend.” Screwball stuttered, a few of the tears forming in her eyes starting to roll down her cheeks. She was starting to take in what just happened. She went behind her friend’s back and pulled a massive-scale prank, Sunset saw everything and…

Sunset renounced their friendship.

Screwball hung her head, looking the saddest she had ever been since she had transferred to Canterlot High. A lot more tears were coming down her face now and she was starting to make small hiccup and whimpering sounds as she sobbed. She walked further down the hall to the part of the school that for whatever reason the lights never worked. Although, that might’ve been Discord’s fault, considering the school’s power went out completely when he first tried to fix them, and they seemed to refuse to be fixed.

Not wanting to be seen by anybody in this condition, she walked into that part of the hall, leaned up against a wall of lockers, and sat down against them, folding her arms and burying her face in them, sobbing heavily.

“I-I…I don’t w-want to be alone again. I h-hate being alone so much.” She muttered through her crying. She knew that nobody could hear her, but at this point, she didn’t care.

Author's Note

How did this story go from being about a trouble-making, trolling, evil little girl pulling terrible pranks and making sex jokes to actually being a story that made me cry writing this chapter?! I dunno, your guess is as good as mine. :derpytongue2:

Anyway, Screwball is emotionally depressed right now because...she screwed things up between her and Sunset. Now, you could argue that Sunset is being OOC, but this story was conceived before Rainbow Rocks came out, so her interpretation here is a little different. Basically, Sunset has every right to be angry at Screwball, but she also has a problem of having no patience whatsoever with her. Then again, I don't think a lot of people could have patience with her anyway.

Anywhooo, comments are always appreciated.~ :twilightsmile:

She's a Maniac

All the patrons of Sugarcube Corner could not be in a more annoyed mood than they were right now, the owners, Mr. and Mrs. Cake included. When they had made the decision to install a jukebox, they considered it an opportunity to enhance the lively atmosphere of the bakery and let the customers listen to music while they enjoyed their sweets.

What NOBODY expected was for Pinkie Pie to get to it first with a pocket full of quarters, and singing and dancing to the same song 17 times in a row. Everybody in the bakery was already sick of hearing “She’s a Maniac” the first four times it was on, but now when they had made it to about 45 minutes of nothing but this song, everybody was in agony…

Except Pinkie Pie of course, who was having the time of her life dancing to it.

“~She’s a maniac, maaaaniac on the floor.~ And she’s dancin’ like she’s never danced befoooore!~” Pinkie had sung along to this song the entire time and wasn’t showing any signs of wanting to stop.

Rainbow Dash, who was sitting at a nearby table with the rest of her friends, probably had it the worst. She was the one that asked Pinkie to turn on the jukebox, and was starting to really regret it, as her left eye was now starting to twitch.

“Nggggh, Fluttershy? Can you please go find a pair of pliers and rip off my ears with them? I am REALLY sick of this song.” She asked.

“O-Oh no. I-I don’t think I could do that to you Rainbow.” Fluttershy meekly replied.

“Well can SOMEONE put me out of my misery please?!” Rainbow yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.

“Rainbow darling, I am just as tired of this song as you are, but aren’t you being a tad overdramatic about this?” Rarity asked.

“Ah don’ think she is. Rainbow, once you get done with those pliers, can Ah borrow em?” Applejack asked. She had been the first to notice that “She’s a Maniac” seemed to last a lot longer than she thought on only the second play.

“Pffft, be my guest. I’d really rather suffer through the pain of having my ears slowly torn from my head than hear this song again.”

“Well are YOU going to be the one to tell Pinkie to change the song?” Rarity asked, slightly gesturing towards Pinkie, who was still singing loudly and dancing to the music. Rainbow looked at how much fun Pinkie was having and felt that she probably wouldn’t react very well to being asked to get off her favorite song.

“Hehehe…on second thought, I don’t think I’d mind listening to play number eighteen.” Rainbow chuckled nervously. On the outside she appeared cool and calm enough, but on the inside, she was screaming for this to stop.

Just then, a very annoyed Sunset Shimmer came through the door, accidently bumping into Pinkie Pie on her way in, causing Pinkie to trip over her own feet a little, throwing her dancing off.

“Awwww Suuuunny! You threw off my groooove!” Pinkie whined.

“Not now Pinkie, I am REALLY not in the mood.” Sunset grumbled, walking over to the table where the rest of the girls were sitting and sat down next to Rainbow Dash, angrily crossing her arms.

“Umm…Sunset, is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah, Screwball’s a liar and I’m sick of it.” Sunset growled, looking away from everybody at the table.

“Ooooh boy. What’d the little devil do now?” Rainbow asked.

“Try over-waxing the gym floors so that the boys dodgeball team faceplants the second they step on it.”

After hearing that, Rainbow was struggling to tell every cell in her body not to laugh from imagining that hilarious scenario. Ultimately though, it was all for nothing.

“Pffft hahahahaha! O-Oh my gosh that’s-“ Rainbow then looked at the disapproving faces everybody else was giving her. She stopped laughing and coughed awkwardly. “Ummm…bad. That’s really bad.”

“Hmph. Damn right it’s bad. After I saw that happen, I’ve come to the conclusion that that kid has no soul.” Sunset huffed, blowing hot air out of her nose in her anger.

“Sunny come oooon, you know that’s not true.” Pinkie said.

“Pinkie, you weren’t there. She knows that that kind of stuff ticks me off, but she just went ahead and did it anyway!” Sunset huffed again. “Honestly, I couldn’t care less about where she is right now.”

Fluttershy looked at Sunset very worriedly and was very concerned, not only for her sake, but Screwball’s too. Heavens knows what the poor girl was going through right now.

“…Sunset, don’t you remember what I said about kindness and understanding?” She asked.

“I tried Fluttershy, but apparently that only works on people that have a conscience, because she’s still acting like a jerk.”

Rarity awkwardly cleared her throat. “Umm…Sunset darling. I’m not trying to say what Screwball did wasn’t wrong, but…don’t you think you might’ve given up on her a little too quickly? I mean, Rome wasn’t built in a day you know.” Rarity said.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “What? What do you mean? I regretted what I did almost immediately when you guys beat me at that whole thing at the Fall Formal.”

“True, but ya got blasted with a big dose of the magic of friendship, and that crown turned ya’ll pure evil. This ain’t the same situation. Screwy ain’t evil, she’s just ummm…really, really troubled. It’s gonna take more time to get her to start actin’ right than it took for you.” Applejack added.

Sunset’s face dropped a little at Applejack’s statements. Despite how Screwball’s behavior had still been fairly bad, her friends did have a pretty good point. “U-Ummm…I uhh…I guess I didn’t think about it like that…” Sunset let out a deep sigh and rested her chin on the table.

“Uggh. I really messed up didn’t I?” Sunset groaned.

“Mmm, I dunno. You sure you can’t just tell her to get lost and not come back until she learns to stop acting like a brat?” Dash asked.

“Rainbow!” Fluttershy scolded Rainbow Dash with a hardened stare.

Rainbow defensively put up her hands. “Sorry! Jeez! Excuse me if I’m still kinda mad about my locker smelling like dead fish because of her.” Rainbow irritatingly apologized while crossing her arms.

Sunset sighed again and looked at the rest of her friends. “Well what do you guys suggest I do? I’ve never dealt with anything like this before, and I’m still getting used to this whole friendship thing…”

The five girls exchanged some looks for a few moments, each thinking to themselves and trying to communicate silently with the others.

“Well…Whatever we do, we should be very careful about going about it. Screwball is most likely in a very sensitive state after what occurred.” Rarity said.

“Umm, well, you know where Screwball lives don’t you? Why don’t you just go there and you two can sort things out?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“Mmph…it’s a good idea Fluttershy, but no dice. Entering her house means having to come in contact with Discord, and that guy hates my guts. I don’t think now would be a good time for him to see me, considering I probably made his kid cry her eyes out.” Sunset said, rubbing her forehead, fearing the worst if Discord got a hold of her in this situation.

“Oh…right.” Fluttershy mumbled.

“Hmmmm…Oh! Maybe you just need to get her to YOU instead! That way, you two can still sort things out, and Discord won’t be able to kill you before you get the chance!” Pinkie suggested with a big smile. The rest of the group stared at Pinkie with slightly disturbed looks on their faces at the last bit of her suggestion.

“…It’s a good idea…but did you have to put it like that?” Sunset asked.

Pinkie giggled. “Nope! But you guys were all looking at me like “Whaaaa?” Pinkie laughed a little.

Applejack, who had been staring at Pinkie along with her friends, shook her head a few times and blinked. She learned not to question Pinkie a long time ago, and she wasn’t going to start now. “Well uh…did ya have somethin’ in mind Pinkie?” she asked.

Pinkie very quickly nodded in response. “You bet I do!...but I can’t work out the details when it’s this quiet!” Pinkie said as she skipped her way back over to the jukebox.

“Wait! Pinkie don’t!” Rarity yelled after her. Unfortunately, she was too late. Pinkie had already put another quarter in and selected her favorite song in the jukebox’s songlist, and it made the rest of Sugarcube Corner groan in annoyance.

~Just a steel town girl on a Saturday night, looking for the fight of her life-~

“GODDAMNIT!” Rainbow yelled at the top of her lungs as she slammed her fists on the table.

“What? I actually like this song.” Sunset said, oblivious to the torture the rest of the bakery was under before she came in.

“Jus’ wait. Yer' gonna be hatin’ life after four more plays.” Applejack said with a deadpanned expression.

Sunset’s face visibly fell after that, and she looked back over at Pinkie, who was already back to dancing to the song as she was earlier.

“…Okay, now I’m worried.” Sunset said. “Well…at least when she’s done she’ll help out with Screwball...she will stop eventually right?” Sunset said with a slightly worried look.

“Of course she will darling. And don’t you worry, we’ll help fix things between you and Screwball too.” Rarity said, patting Sunset’s back.

“Y-Yes, your friendships are our priorities.” Fluttershy said, nodding in agreement.

“That goes double fer me sugarcube.” Applejack said.

The group of friends all looked at Rainbow Dash, who had yet to say anything. They figured she’d probably be the hardest to convince out of them, as she always had trouble getting along with Screwball in the past.

“…Hey, I’ll help if I don’t kill myself from hearing “She’s a Maniac” thirty-seven more times first.” Rainbow groaned, holding onto her ears, seemingly in pain.

Sunset laughed a little, and looked at the rest of her friends with a slight smile. “…Thanks girls. I hope we can get this whole mess sorted out.” Sunset said.

‘…I just hope Screwy’s willing to forgive me.’ She thought to herself.

Author's Note

A good song for me kinda works like this: I only wanna hear it so many times in a row before I start to go a little insane in the membrane.

Anyway, this story won't have that much left to it. It'll most likely be ending maybe next chapter or the one after. Haven't decided yet.

Anywho, comments are always appreciated~ :twilightsmile: :heart:

New Friends

The absolute last thing that Screwball had expected to see when she walked into Sugarcube Corner was complete darkness. The store was usually so bright and cheery that the atmosphere just felt all wrong when there was no one there and the lights were all off. It was just unnatural, and it made Screwy shiver a little.

“…Did Sunset just try to get me here so someone can kill me with no one knowing?” Screwball said seemingly to herself. She honestly wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually the case and the whole thing turned out to just be a ruse.

“…Seriously Screwy? Your imagination is just….really everywhere isn’t it?” Sunset’s voice said from the darkness. Screwy turned around quickly to the direction of the voice, only for one of the lights to come on directly over the table Sunset happened to be sitting, holding a milkshake in her hand and drinking from it.

Understandably, seeing her former-friend/possible murderer in this sort of atmosphere made Screwball a little uncomfortable. “Well, what do you expect? You couldn’t have made this meeting a little less…I dunno…creepy?”

“Pinkie insisted I have the lights off for this…” Sunset insisted. She was completely aware that this didn’t seem like the ideal setting for making up with a friend, but all would be revealed in the end, in which hopefully, the payoff would be excellent.

“…Dare I ask why?” Screwball asked.

“Look, are you just gonna stand there asking questions all night, or are we gonna sit down and talk?”

Screwball put up her hands to show that she wanted Sunset to just relax. “Okay okay, jeez. Don’t have a cow about it.” Screwball said, sitting down and looking at Sunset, again with that slightly uncomfortable face. This just felt so incredibly awkward that she didn’t even really know what to say to her. What COULD she even say after this big mess that she caused?

“So…I got your letter.” Screwball said cautiously.

“Kinda expected that since your over here in the first place…but anyway, what’d you think?” Sunset asked.

Screwball sighed a little bit. If she was honest with herself, she should’ve been overjoyed that Sunset wasn’t mad at her anymore. She really should’ve been happier than ever that her best and only friend in the world still liked her after all the bad things she’d done. Even with all those thoughts in mind though, Screwball still had a lingering question with her.

“Well…I just…wanna ask…why? Why the heck would you forgive me when I’m such a bad person that only wants to laugh at the suffering of others? Who would want a friend like that?” Screwball asked with a bit of a depressed look on her face.

“…Screwball, you’re not a bad kid. You just have a very serious problem. You’re lonely, and don’t know how to handle it. You seemed to just want attention in any way that you can get it; good or bad.” Sunset said, taking another sip of her milkshake, her face not changing in the slightest. “Besides, we already agreed that I’m worse than you. I mind-controlled an army of kids and turned into a she-demon…you might be devious Screwball, but let’s face it. You can’t top that.”

“…Dang, I’ve been dethroned before my reign even started.” Screwball pouted grumpily, crossing her arms.

Sunset rolled her eyes, smiling a little. She knew Screwball enough by now to know that she was just messing around at this point. “Hehe, that isn’t all you got out of that is it?”

Screwball shook her head. “No, no I get it. We both screwed up, and we both said we’re sorry, a whole bunch of heartwarming crap, blah blah blah….I still have one major problem though….You happen to be my ONLY friend. I’m pretty sure that not everybody else is going to be willing to forgive me so easily…” Screwball said with a little bit of a forlorn tone to her now.

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for kid. People relations isn’t my strong suit either, but I’ll do my best to try and help you…and besides, I think a few actually are willing to do the same.” Sunset said, turning her head and nodding to someone in the darkness. A few more of the lights came on, and in the back of the store stood Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, all of them looking straight at her.

“…Umm…THEY’RE not here to kill me are they?”

Sunset facepalmed. “This has nothing to do with murder in any way, shape, or form Screwball…”

“…Oh...” Screwball said, now looking at all the girls confusedly with a slightly tilted head. “Sooo…what are all of you here for? I thought you all hated me.”

“Screwy, darling…I’ll be the first to admit that most of us didn’t really appreciate what you call “Humour”-

Pinkie immediately bounced up and down and raised her hand, interrupting Rarity in the middle of her sentence. “Oh oh! I did! Your chocolate milk balloon barrage was GOLD!” Pinkie said with a big smile.

Rarity gave Pinkie a deadpanned look. Her outburst wasn’t really surprising, but still did get in the way of her getting her point across. “…Like I said, MOST of us didn’t….however, if Sunset can be shown the magic of friendship, then you can as well. And we’ll be willing to help both of you with this. After all, it takes a village to raise a good child.” Rarity said in a dignified manner, but with a little smile.

“Rarity’s right Screwball. Everyone has a little good inside of them, no matter how bad they may have been before…” Fluttershy said, also smiling a bit.

“Taint’ nothin’ to worry about Screwball. Ya ain’t ALL that bad really. If yer’ given the right guidance, I’m sure everythin’ will turn around for ya.” Applejack added.

All of them then looked over at Rainbow, who had said pretty much nothing at this point, but still had her arms crossed and appeared to be the most cynical of the bunch, as her history with Screwball seemed to be one of the worst ones.

Rainbow looked back at all of her friends, who she felt were expecting her to do something. “…What?”

“Rainbow, don’t you have something to say to Screwball?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

As a matter of fact, there was a lot of things that Rainbow wanted to say to Screwball, but a lot of them would probably make the entire situation end in tears on Screwball’s part, a lot of very disapproving looks from her friends, and possibly death at the hands of Discord. So instead, she simply sighed and went with this.

“Alright look, I know we’ve kinda not been on the best of terms…but I guess I’m willing to work it out if you are.” Rainbow replied.

Screwball had no idea what to even say to all of that. She had done more to these five girls than probably anyone else in the school, and yet here they were saying they wanted to be her friends. How on Earth was this even happening? Her only guess would be that either they were pulling some very elaborate prank on her for payback…

But they sounded VERY genuine when they were talking to her.

All Screwball felt like she could do at this point was to get up and walk over to the five girls, a little bit teary eyed, and looking at the ground with her hair covering a lot of her face. “….I-I’m sorry…for everything…Applejack, I’m sorry I TP’ed your Orchard…Fluttershy, I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you at the animal shelter…Rarity, I’m sorry that I rigged a stink bomb to explode when you opened your locker…Rainbow, I’m sorry I put a dead fish in yours….and Pinkie….” Screwball actually thought to herself for a minute for this one. “…Did I even make you mad at all with my pranking?”

“Nnnnope! Your sense of humor is actually pretty good when it’s not hurting anybody!” Pinkie cheered, smiling at her.

“Oh...thank you.” Screwball said, sighing a little in relief before looking back at Sunset, who was standing up at this point. “…I feel especially bad for betraying your trust in me Sunset….I’m really sorry.” Screwball said. She quickly walked over to Sunset and gave her a big hug, still getting a bit teary eyed at the whole development.

Sunset smiled a little down at her and patted Screwball’s beanie-covered head as she hugged back. “And I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance kiddo…” Sunset said. She looked over at her five friends and gestured all of them over. The girls took the hint and then all got together with the hug as well, with Rainbow seeming to be the most reluctant one of the bunch, but still giving the group hug with Screwball involved a shot.

A few seconds of hugging later, Pinkie perked up a little. “Oooh, you know what this calls for?” She said with an ever-growing grin.

“Let me guess. It involves a party.” Screwball said, rolling her twisted, purple eyes.

Pinkie Pie gasped. “Oh my gosh, how do you know me so well?!” Just then, all of the lights in Sugarcube Corner finally turned on, revealing Sugarcube Corner had been decorated far ahead of time with balloons, streamers, and many other different sorts of colorful decorations, which included a huge banner that read “Happy Reformation Party!”

Looking up at the banner, Screwball appeared to be a little baffled by it. “….Uuuuh…how did she know that I was gonna-Oh wait…it’s Pinkie…what was I thinking?” Screwball said, chuckling to herself a little.

“Alright everybody, PARTY TIME!~”

Later on that night, Screwball came into the doors of her home, appearing to be a little dazed and having a lot of pink frosting all over her face. Discord happened to be sitting in his favorite chair, reading a newspaper that had an enormous hole right smack in the middle of it, and looked up from it at his daughter.

“Well, you’re certainly home late.” He said, giving her a slightly worried look at her dazed state.

“Pffft, relax dad. I was just hanging out with Sunset and a few of my new friends at Sugarcube Corner.” Screwball said, licking all of the icing off of her face in one fell swoop.

“…You’re not drunk are you?” Discord asked.

“Hehe, noooo. Just suffering from a sugar-high crash and a little bit of pig syndrome. Nothing major. Just gotta go to bed.” Screwball said, giggling a little and yawning a bit sleepily.

This behavior was not very uncommon of Screwball, but her being his daughter, Discord could definitely notice a change in her that she did not possess this morning. “…Hm…Did you do anything else today Screwball?”

Screwball put a finger to her chin and thought about this. “Hmmm….well, after I left Sugarcube Corner, I helped Applejack’s grandma get her groceries home, got Scootaloo’s scooter out of the mud when it got stuck…Although she did give me a pretty weird look after that. She was all “Are you actually Screwball?” Screwball said, giggling a little.

That had been the absolute last thing that Discord had expected to hear from her, and he was left with widened eyes and nothing but absolute silence.

“Wwwwelp, I’m goin’ to bed. Night daddy!~” Screwball said happily as she walked into her room, appearing a bit to dazed to do her usual skipping.

Discord was now alone in the living room, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“….Sunset Shimmer, what have you done to my daughter?”

Author's Note

Aaand it's finally done. Story is complete at last! :pinkiehappy:

I believe that this is the first multi-chapter story that I've completed on this site, so this is a really big milestone for me. But don't worry. You haven't seen the last of human Screwball. Expect the sequel, which I plan on calling "A Tad Screwy: The Laughing Dazzling" sometime in the near future.

Hope you all enjoyed the story and had as much fun reading it as I did writing it!

Until next time everypony!~ :twilightsmile: :heart:

Introduction to Screwball

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at an Equestria Girls fic, so I thought, why not have it star my favorite background pony?

Tell me what you guys think about it, and my portrayal of Screwball in this fic.

Hope you like it. :D

Introduction to Screwball

Principal Celestia wore the same icy poker face she had whenever faced with a situation like this. It got rather frustrating when one of her students wasn’t very cooperative.

“Screwball, you really need to learn to mature. Your father may find your behavior acceptable, but you should understand by now that it won’t be tolerated here.” Celestia said to the teenage girl in her office.

She wore purple, arm-length gloves and striped knee-high socks as well as a purple skirt. Her hair was lavender with some white highlights, with a constantly spinning beanie on her head. She also wore a purple tank-top with a symbol depicting a screw and a baseball.

Meet Screwball. Resident trouble-maker of Canterlot High.

The girl rolled her purple eyes and groaned.

“Oh my gosh Celly-“

“That’s Principal Celestia to you young lady.” Celestia interrupted.

“Yeah sure, cool story bro. It’s just that I keep forgetting how predictable you can be. I cause the slightest bit of trouble, the stupid cameras catch me in the act, you drag me in here to chew me out and make empty threats. It’s getting quite boring.” Screwball said, laying back in her seat with her feet on the desk.

Celestia was never one to let a misbehaving student get to her, but somehow, Screwball always managed to find a way.

“A LITTLE trouble Screwball? You sprayed an excessive amount of graffiti on the school’s statue out front, overflowed all the downstairs bathrooms, and caught the science lab on fire. And all of that was just THIS week.” Celestia listed Screwball’s several offences.

Screwball simply shrugged her shoulders.

“Meh. I’ll admit it wasn’t my BEST work. I guess I’ve been slacking off a little.” Screwball said nonchalantly.

Celestia pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

‘Ugh, she’s just as irritating as her dad. I guess it runs in the family.’ She thought to herself.

“Screwball, do you WANT to get expelled?!” Celestia exclaimed.

“You said the same thing last week remember? When I put a dead fish in Rainbow Dash’s backpack? And I’d honestly love nothing more than to get outta here.” Screwball said.

Celestia’s patience was wearing thin with the girl. She acts like she just don’t give a fuck.

“I suppose punishing you isn’t going to do any good then.” Celestia grumbled.

“What do you think?” Screwball said with a smug grin, sure she had won.

Celestia tapped her chin.

“No, I think I have a better idea. You see Screwball, we have something at Canterlot High for troubled children like yourself.” Celestia said.

Screwball hadn’t been expecting Celestia to come up with something that quick, and was pretty surprised, which caused her to raise both her eyebrows.

“Really now?” She said.

“We have this program that pairs up older students with the younger, troubled ones to try and steer them in the right direction. A positive, older role model if you will.” Celestia said.

Screwball removed her feet from Celestia’s desk and moved them down to the floor.

“Whoawhoawhoa. Hold up Celly. If you must know, I’ve already got one of those.” Screwball protested.

Celestia facepalmed.

“I know you love your father Screwball, but I would hardly consider Discord a good role model.” Celestia responded.

“Hey just because you don’t find him very entertaining in the sack is no reason to get on me about it.” Screwball chuckled.

Celestia’s face turned red from sheer embarrassment, and the fact that one of her students would talk to her in such a lewd manner.

“Young lady!-” Celestia started, but was interrupted by Screwball’s laughing outburst.

“Hahahahaha! You should’ve seen your face! Priceless!” Screwball laughed.

Celestia narrowed her eyes in annoyance as her face returned to its normal color.

“Screwball, that was very inappropriate and immature of you.” Celestia scolded.

Screwball just waved her hand.

“Oh relax Celly, I was just messin with ya. You were ranting about “positive role models” or some crap?” Screwball asked.

“Oh yes. I’m hoping that giving you somebody to look up to will get you to behave a little better. So, I’ve taken the liberty of assigning you to-“

“If you’re about to tell me that you’re sticking me with that pony-obsessed Lyra chick, I’m dropping out.” Screwball said.

Celestia gave a small chuckle at that.

“No no. Let me just say that she may need you as much as you need her.” Celestia said.

Screwball’s face turned into a confident smirk that was most often shown by her dad.

“Hehe. Alright Celestia. I’ll play your little game. Who knows, maybe it could do me some good.” Screwball said sarcastically.

Celestia picked up on Screwball’s sarcasm and gave a suspicious look in her direction.

“…Well, alright then. Here’s her locker number. Meet her at her locker between periods.” Celestia said, handing Screwball a slip of paper with numbers written on it.

“Well this has been a most intelligent conversation your majesty, but I think I should be on my merry way. Math class doesn’t sleep through itself.” Screwball said.

Celestia nodded, still with a set of disapproving eyes, and Screwball got up, but stopped at the door. She snapped her fingers as if she remembered something.

“Oh right! Think fast.” Screwball said, tossing something in Celestia’s direction. She caught it, and her eyes widened when she saw it was her car-keys.

“H-How did you-“ Celestia stuttered.

“Oh, and I left you a little surprise in the glove compartment. It may or may not be cat poop related.” Screwball chuckled.

Celestia’s jaw dropped.

“WHAT?!” she yelled as she bolted out the office door, leaving Screwball alone in her office.

“Hehehe. Oopsie. Me and my big mouth.” She laughed

Not long after Celestia ran out of her office, Screwball followed suit, preparing to get to math class, when she heard a familiar voice next to her.

“Hehehe. Just saw Celly run like the wind to the parking lot. What happened in there?” the voice asked.

Screwball turned around and beamed with happiness when she saw her dad leaning against the wall next to Celestia’s office door. His hair was very, very white, his clothes were a dirty mess and didn’t match at all, including his black T-shirt that read “CHAOS” in bold, white letters. He wore a smirk that looked well at home on his face, as if he’d had it there all his life.

This man was Discord. Canterlot High’s janitor, and Screwball’s dad.

“Hehehe. Go ahead and guess.” Screwball said.

Discord stroked his chin, attempting to think.

“Not respecting her authority? Making fun of her non-existent sex-life? Making a mess of her car?” Discord asked.

"All of the above.” Screwball giggled.

Discord stifled a laugh.

“You need to slow down kiddo. You’re starting to get better at this than I was at your age.” Discord chuckled, bringing up his hand for a high five, to which Screwball returned.

“Hehehe. I try.” She said...

A Declaration of Forgiveness In The Form of Pink Paper

The sheer amount of emotional pain that Screwball felt was on a completely new level compared to anything she had felt in quite a long time. She’d run out of tears quite a while ago, but still felt the urge to cry her eyes out after everything that happened at school that day. Since she was void of tears at this point though, she had simply resolved to sitting in her room, whimpering, looking at the ceiling with a miserable look on her face, and drowning her misery in an entire gallon of chocolate milk.

“Uugh, well…I’m all alone again. Dad’s working the night shift, Sunset hates me, and I’m just sitting here knowing that it’s my own fault.” Screwball sighed before taking another big gulp of her chocolate milk. It tasted good, but it only helped so much. “…Not exactly the way I thought I’d be spending my Friday night.” She sighed.

Her attempts at humoring herself were failing badly. Screwball had only been this depressed one other time, which was when Jet Stream had openly humiliated her at her old school. She was able to handle that problem by pranking her up the wall, and that made her feel a lot better. This time though, she didn’t see any way around this problem. She betrayed her only friend’s trust, and because of her behavior, she was by herself again.

Strife, who got up from his small doggy bed in the corner of the room, tried tapping on his owner’s forehead to get any sort of response out of her. She’d been like this for way too long, and it was starting to get a little ridiculous in his eyes.

“Mmmph. Fuck off Strife, I’m not in the mood.” Screwball mumbled. Strife put his paws on his hips and gave a disappointed head-shake. Deciding that maybe Screwy needed her space right now, he crawled his way back to his bed and made an attempt to get back to sleep.

Screwball sat up and shook her head. “Nngh…I’m just destined to be alone forever aren’t I? Driving people nuts and drinking chocolate milk is really all I have going for me now isn’t it?” She asked herself. She was about to take another swig at it, when nothing came out of the bottle. Opening one of her eyes, she noticed the entire bottle was now empty, meaning she had drank an entire gallon of chocolate milk in the span of about an hour.

“…Or not. I’m out of chocolate milk. Story of my life.” She grumbled bitterly to herself. Screwball got up very slowly as if her body weighed a million tons and walked into the kitchen to get another bottle. She opened up the fridge and reached inside. However, appearing too upset to pay attention to what she was doing, Screwball accidently grabbed a bottle of squeezable mayonnaise and drank it. The second it hit her tongue though, she was immediately aware something wasn’t right here.

“Gak! Oh God, what’s wrong with this milk?!” She looked down at the bottle in her hand and realized her mistake. “Oh……meh.” She shrugged her shoulders as she proceeded to continue to drink it.

Just then, the doorbell to her house rang, making her head shoot up. “Hm? Now who in the right mind would bother me now of all times? I’m busy being depressed here.” Screwball groaned. “Well…might as well see what they want.” In the time that she was walking to the door, Screwball figured that whoever was ringing the doorbell must have been very impatient, because it rang several more times before she finally opened it.

Behind it was a grey, blonde-haired girl with crossed eyes holding an envelope in her mouth…

Who was still ringing the doorbell several seconds after Screwball had already answered the door.

After a few more seconds of this, Screwball couldn’t take it anymore and simply grabbed the girl’s wrist, and lowered it back down to her side.

“…Can I help you?” Screwball asked in a sarcastic tone.

The girl took the envelope out of her mouth. “Hi! I got something for a “Screwball.” Sunset Shimmer said she lived here.” The girl said with a smile, holding out the envelope for Screwball after removing it from her mouth.

This certainly got Screwball’s attention. What did Sunset want with her? After what went down at school, she was legitimately surprised that Sunset would even want anything to do with her. Regardless, Screwball took the envelope and looked down curiously at it.

“…You know what this thing’s about?” Screwball asked. The girl shrugged her shoulders and shook her head in response.

“Nnnnope, sorry!” the girl said, still smiling seemingly obliviously. For a few moments, an awkward silence lingered between Screwball and this overly-happy girl as her crossed eyes only continued to stare at her, and Screwball’s purple and swirled ones also staring confusedly back.

Not being able to take the sheer awkwardness of this situation anymore, Screwball very slowly shut the door without another word. Even then though, the girl still appeared to be outside when Screwball looked through the window next to the door.

“…And people say I’M weird.” Screwball muttered to herself. Screwball tried not to dwell on the subject any longer, and instead took her attention back to the matter at hand. Why would Sunset even attempt to talk to her after Screwball messed up as bad as she did? What would possess her to do this?...

Or maybe this envelope was rigged to explode the second she opened it. It could’ve been Sunset’s way of giving Screwball a taste of her own medicine, and to add insult to injury after their argument at the school. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable assumption to her.

After sighing for a moment and considering her options, Screwball decided to just take what was coming to her. She ever so slowly and cautiously started to rip the envelope open…

Only to find pink paper in there. No explosion.

This baffled Screwball to no end. “Ummm…maybe she wants me to give myself papercuts?...hang on…” She took the paper out of the envelope and looked curiously down at it. It seemed to be a letter of some sorts. Screwball’s swirled eyes scanned over the paper as she read it to herself. She found it rather difficult though, as the writing was pink ink on pink paper.

Screwy.

We gotta talk. I’ve got all the girls sort of breathing down my neck while I write this, so I’m just going to get straight to the point.

We both messed up. Bad. Yes, you have done some pretty bad stuff before, but that does NOT make you a bad person. I REALLY shouldn’t have given up on you as quick as I did. I should’ve been more patient with you, and I'm sorry. If you'll give me another chance to, then I'll still be willing to work with you through this whole, "Big Sister" program stuff.

If you want to talk about this a little more, then meet me at Sugarcube Corner. But if you’re too pissed off at me, then I completely get it. I’d be pretty mad at me too if I were you.

Sunset.

P.S. Blame Pinkie for the pink ink on pink paper.

Screwball was at a loss for words. She almost couldn’t even wrap her head around the fact that Sunset wasn’t angry with her after all the things she did, and especially after Screwball tried to pin the blame on her after she pranked all of the boys.

“…She’s…not mad at me?...” She asked herself. She looked back down at the paper again to make sure she hadn’t misread anything, and to look for any signs of condescending sarcasm anywhere in there. None was found.

“…Did all that chocolate milk make me hallucinate then?” She asked herself again. To try and dismiss or confirm this theory, she rubbed the paper all over her face to see if it was even really there. Not only was it there, but the paper smelled like frosting, probably courtesy of Pinkie Pie coming in contact with it.

“…Okay…so maybe she really does wanna see me…well…I guess I’m going to Sugarcube Corner then.” Screwball said, still looking probably the most confused she’d ever been in her life. She slowly made her way into the garage, and looked upon her shiny, purple dirtbike that had her matching purple helmet hanging off of one of the handlebars. She quickly snatched up her helmet, grabbed her keys off of a nearby hook hanging from the wall, and mounted her dirtbike.

“Alright Sexy, get me to Sugarcube Corner right now!” she said as she started her bike up. Mounted on one of the handlebars was a small remote with a tiny red button on it. When Screwball pushed it, the garage door opened ever so slowly out to Screwball’s front yard. Once it was fully open, Screwball took off, hoping to get to Sugarcube Corner as quickly as possible, just in case Sunset were to change her mind about forgiving her.

“…Seriously wondering what she really wants me for though…” Screwball muttered to herself as she speeded her way towards Sugarcube Corner with the wind blowing through her hair as she drove her bike to her destination.

Author's Note

So basically, I wanted to give both Screwball and Sunset their own chapter to realize they were BOTH at fault and not just Screwball. :twilightsmile:

Next chapter will for sure be the ending I've decided by the way. Hoping it'll kinda wrap things up for this story, while still leaving room for the sequel relating to Rainbow Rocks. Yes, it's been confirmed at this point before the fic is even done. :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, comments are always appreciated, have a good day everypony. :twilightsmile: