I Present To You: New Capteinia!

by Madame Hellspawn

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8036

Snippy, Engie, Pilot and Captain end up in Equestria after a series of strange events in Capteinia. Shenanigans occur. Yes it's a Romantically Apocalyptic/MLP crossover.

Snippy has been through a ton of things. He's been near death at least four times, and if he remembers correctly, he's even died at one point. He wasn't a big fan of his new-found friends, but it beat being alone for the rest of his life in a world that died a long time ago. A guy who is almost completely insane, trying to teach you the 'magic of friendship ', a Captain who was a living 404 error and a doctor who was the Captains 'intern'. How could you be a fan of a group of people like that?

During a scavenging run for extra supplies, Snippy comes across a strange anomaly in the city of Capteinia. Unfortunately, The Captain, Pilot, and Engie end up following him inside the rift in time and space, landing them in some place they never thought they'd see before. Of course, with the crew Snippy has been travelling with, nothing is going to be easy, nor will it be normal. But hey, who likes normalcy in today's society?

Published 2014-03-03 16:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-06 18:40:17 UTC

Well, This Wasn't What I Was Expecting

“Yes! Off to the exciting land of new adventures!”

-Zee Captain

He wasn’t sure what happened or why it had happened, but after all he’d been through, this had to be one of the most normal things to happen yet. He was hurling through the air, flipping numerous times until he landed face first into the snow covered ground. A pang of pain in his chest made him clutch the crimson mass that grew there. Of course it was still there. It was probably the reason why he was still alive right now. It didn't say anything though, it just stuck to his chest and kinda hung there. After Pilot's latest stunt, he knew that he had to think of a way to get him back for that one.

Charles, or Snippy as he tended to be called, raised himself from the grassy floors of the forest and rubbed his head, or at least his mask. He traced his hand along the ground, trying to judge if all that was around him was really there. The snow, grass underneath it, and actual dirt underneath that. His mind drifted to the three who were originally with him earlier. Were they really gone? Finally?

Underneath his mask, Snippy felt a smile creep on his face, for the first time in years. Energy rippled through his body as he stood on his feet and threw his arms in the air in a strange form of celebration. The trees around him were removed of all their leaves, but buckets sat below the branches. He wasn't sure what the buckets were for, but he didn't care. He was in a forest! A forest that looked slightly out of place to Snippy, but the snow was what made him feel slightly at home. If home was a forest devoid of any civilization and human contact. At least it was devoid of any human contact. But there had to be some kind of human life somewhere. He was still alive and there had to be others close by. But he was away fromthem.

But that wasn’t even the best part. He was in a forest! A real forest. Not some projection on a screen of what it would have looked like, though the projections were damn accurate, but he was really here! Dead leaves on the ground, covered by the white snow. Branches of trees and tiny blades of grass poking from the ground. He thought about how much the other three were missing out. Pilot would probably love it.

If they’re not here, Snippy thought quickly, his mind rushing back to Captain’s crew, putting his arms down. Then that means I’m alone. Again.

Snippy kicked the fallen leaves and snow on the ground in a mix of frustration and happiness. He never particularly liked them, but they were, without a doubt, his only way of not becoming insane. The shenanigans that they'd get into he was definitely not going to miss. He was glad to be rid of that Damn crimson scarf they all called cancer for whatever reason. He wasn't sure if he was glad to be away from the mentally declining Captain and the completely insane Pilot or not. Engineer was just a weird character, but Snippy wasn't really sure about him. He still had hopes that they were alive and that he'd find Engineer first. He'd much rather find the most sane person than someone like The Captain.

“Snippy!” The familiar german accent called from above. He looked around, only to find a black form with purple glowing eyes staring back at him thrashing wildly in the trees. He held his boring old white and black mug with a heart sloppily designed onto it, upside down, its contents still inside, judging by the steam coming out of it. A single straw sprouted from the mug, bringing back strange memories of it talking to Snippy. Four threads of string managed to keep him suspended on a thin branch, though the branch was close to snapping off. “I have a new mission for you!”

The Captain, or 'Zee' Captain, as he likes to be called, threw a rotting stick at Snippy, the crooked twig landing right at his feet. “Do you mind getting me down with zat? Be careful, zee edges are very sharp!”

Snippy picked up the twig, only to having it snap in his hands. “This is a stick.”

“Which means you can cut zee strings! Go on, you don’t want coffee do you?” Captain wiggled his mug around, the scorching liquid inside splashing out onto the ground. Snippy shivered at the sight, and approached with caution, grabbing the string that had tangled around Captain’s leg. He used the stick to try and cut the thin string, but looked up when he figured out what he was doing.

Snippy leaped up in the air and grabbed the branch that Captain had hung off of, grasped it in a firm grip, and brought it down with him as he landed, earning a loud CRACK sound that echoed through the woods. Captain fell from the tree, spilling his coffee all over the snow covered ground, melting the snow, but not landing one drop on himself. Unfortunately.

“Captain!” Another voice called out. Both looked over to the western edge of the clearing; watching as their third crewmate, Pilot, crashed into the ground, though how he did so remained a mystery. His green goggles glowed dimly, snow beginning to cover them. In his hand was a toy airplane with the two wings missing. “We’ve landed! Only One casualty sir!”

Snippy, slammed a hand on his face and shook his head. “Idiot.”

Captain regained his normal composure; standing in a formal manner with a hand in his pocket, the other carrying his dusty old mug. “Where is my intern!?”

Snippy looked around. Pilot was still curled up on the ground, playing with his broken plane like a child playing with a new toy. Captain was....well right beside him, and Engie was nowhere in sight. And if Snippy knew Captain as well as he thought he did, then he’d most likely order for a-

“New mission!” Captain’s voice rang out like a woman singing in a shower. A folding chair had appeared in his hand and he rested it down in the center of the clearing, then proceeded to sit down. “Find my intern! I need him to build me a battle-ready bathtub! Well? Go on, both of you. Ooh, and if you can, find me a nice scarf while you’re at it? I do so love being fashionable.”

Snippy glanced over at Pilot, who stood on his feet instantaneously and saluted like the good trooper he was. “Yessir.”

Well, I might as well get to it. Snippy admitted. He didn’t want to get splashed with hot, scorching coffee again. Even though most of it spilled from the mug Captain held, it would fill itself back up, and Snippy wouldn’t wait until it did. It was either get on with this new mission, or wait to get his body burned. Plus it also gave him a chance to get away from the lunatic. Even if it meant leaving him here. Still, there was nothing stopping him from instantly appearing beside him out of nowhere.

“C’mon buddy,” Pilot said, grabbing Snippy’s hand. “Let’s frolic through the woods like real men. Together, we can discover the magic...of friendship!”

Snippy had let go of Pilot’s hand about an hour ago. A bad idea now that he thought about it. Snippy wasn’t one for skipping around like an idiot, but unfortunately for him, Pilot was. He’d lost sight of the green goggled buffoon minutes ago, only knowing that he skipped ahead while trapped in his own little world chasing down some kind of animal that only he could see. It must suck having the mind of a small child.

Pulling on his hood to make sure it was down all the way, Snippy let out an unsatisfied sigh and jammed his hands in his pockets. He wished he had his backpack with him, but that was gone, as was his rifle. It would have made him feel safer in the woods. Especially since this was an environment he’s only read about in books as a child. He still couldn’t believe that he was walking through real woods, hearing real animals and birds chirping. It all seemed like a dream, but Snippy pinched himself enough times to know that this was all real.

“Snippy!” Pilots excited voice called in the distance, the childish man hopping out of a veil of trees shortly after. “I think I found something!”

“This better be good,” Snippy muttered to himself. He followed Pilot, his boots crunching the snow, leaves and twigs beneath his feet, taking joy in every step. He didn’t want to show the amount of fun he was having just by doing it though. Not around Pilot.

The two walked for a solid five minutes before the trees began to separate. A wooden picket fence was set up, blocking their path only slightly. The wood looked new, hell, it even smelled new, if the filters in Snippy’s mask was working properly. The trees behind the fence grew tall, though not as tall as the ones in the forest they had just emerged from. Only a few of them contained these red orb things. Apples? Full apples? As far as Snippy knew, they couldn’t grow in the winter, but he didn’t know much about nature anyway, so he couldn’t really say much there.

Pilot hopped the fence first, Snippy following closely behind. This would have been the perfect time to have a weapon. Two buildings were straight ahead, and knowing any modern human, they’ most likely shoot first, shoot again, and then shoot one more time, then leave without questioning anything. Snippy tried to stay as close to the ground as possible, as opposed to the direct hopping and bouncing of Pilot, who was practically screaming ‘shoot me!’.

“I hope we have good company!” Pilot said with excitement. “I’d hate to have to kill someone!”

Snippy rolled his eyes under his mask, but trudged forward nonetheless. As childish as he was, Pilot knew how to defend himself, as was shown the last couple of times the two fought each other. Snippy shuddered at the memory of waking up with half a blade plunged into his chest.

“What in tarnation!?”

Snippy didn’t have much time to turn around to see who or what had said that, but he was sure that before he got knocked out, a horse had appeared behind him and slammed its hooves into his face. A few seconds after hitting the ground, he saw the horse turn around and jump at Pilot.

Then he blacked out, a question begging to be answered before he did:Why was the horse orange?

Applejack generally hated the winter. It was at this time that her crops never really grew. Of course, this years winter hadn’t been too kind either. Coming back from the freezing marketplace with Applebloom beside her was one of her least favorite things to do. She appreciated her little sister’s presence, but hated having to navigate through the thin veil of snow. Ponies around her seemed to have more difficulty than her though, so there was one thing that made her feel a little better. Besides that, she wanted to get home as quickly as possible.

Her bags hung by her sides, full of fresh new fruits and vegetables that couldn’t be grown back home at the farm. Ingredients for soup that night also filled her bags. Fortunately for Applebloom, Applejack was stuck carrying all of the stuff. She struggled while her little sister hopped around, giggling in the snow, earning a grin from Applejack.

“Maybe tomorrow, the Crusaders and I can shovel the snow for money!” Applebloom said with an eagerness in her voice. “Then we could get our cutie marks in snow shovelin’!”

“Didn’t you guys try that last winter?” Applejack asked.

“Well, yeah, but maybe this time’ll be different. Y’never know!”

Applejack just chuckled in response.

Thanks to the work of Big Mac, the path to the farm had been cleared of all snow, though at the current rate of the snowfall, it seemed like all his work would have been for nothing. He still did a good job, nonetheless. The apple trees that made Sweet Apple Acres famous were all missing their leaves, and only a few apples grew, but the ones that did were beginning to shrivel up and die. Applejack always grimaced when she passed them during the winter, hoping that they’d return to their full strength.

Of course they’ll get better in the spring. Applejack reassured herself. If there’s one thing the Apple Family is known for, it’s its stubborn nature.

Her own reassurance didn’t do much to help her though. She still was scared of the worse case scenario. Apples were practically the only thing really keeping the farm together and she couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d do without the fruit.

“Um...” Applebloom came to a stop, causing Applejack to bump into her, dropping two of her bags. “What’re those?”

Applebloom pointed a hoof at two black forms ahead of them. One was prancing around on two legs, skipping like a little foal who just learned how to walk. It’s eyes glowed a menacing green color, while the other one crawled on all fours, it’s eyes glowing a deep shade of blue a crimson stain or something on its chest. The crimson seemed to have a glow of its own, like it was alive.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack dropped the bags and charged at the one crawling. Before it lifted it’s head, Applejack reared up and bucked as hard as she could. It fell with a loud thud. She then charged at the green eyed one. It raised it’s arms in defence, but Applejack bucked low, in the groin, causing a huff of pain from the being, and making it fall on the ground as well.

Applejack looked at the groaning thing, watching it roll over and writhing in pain. Applebloom approached beside her older sister. “What are those things?”

“Get, your brother out here,” Applejack told her. “Tell’em t’get my rope too.”

Crunches in the snow made Applejack's ears twitch. She paid it no mind, thinking it was just Applebloom's steps to the farm, and keeping her eyes trained on the green-eyed creature groaning on the snow covered ground. The steps came closer, until another black form fell over the fence, gaining Applejack's attention.

"Snippy!" It yelled at the unconscious form across from the injured one. "Zat is not how you find Engie!"

Author's Note

Here's a link to the actual story if you wanna take a look, or are unfamiliar with it. http://romanticallyapocalyptic.com/0
I hope you guys enjoy this. Personally, I'm not sure if this crossover was a good idea, but I'm sticking with it for now. If there are any problems with this, please help out by telling me what could be better and whatnot, and point out any errors you see as well. I'd really appreciate it. I'm also not good at writing funny, so there's that as well. I'm trying to keep the original story's randomness in the characters too, soooo yeah....

A Dramatic Turn Of Events

The Engineer stumbled around in the snow, trying to navigate through the thick forest he found himself in. In his hand was a sharpened stick that he pulled off of one of those wooden wolves that attacked him earlier. Damn beasts broke off one of the filters on his mask, and damn near cracked his goggles. He was lucky to have even gotten out of that battle alive, but he learned quickly that one swift kick on the head or joints could easily incapacitate or dismantle them completely.

Still, he continued to grab the sharpest stick he could find in the piles and completely left the area, running for his life. Even though the wooden creatures were no longer chasing him, he still heard their growls and clamping jaws in his ears, and that was reason enough for him to be running the way he was. What he was still trying to make sense of was why he was suddenly in a forest.

It didn’t make sense to him. First of all, how was there any vegetation around him? Last time he remembered, the world had been reduced to ash and dust, courtesy of the friendly neighborhood Captain and his minion, Pilot.

Second, where the hell was he? Of course Sniper had to find some vortex, and of course Pilot had to be the idiot to push them in. Was this some parallel dimension, or some new planet untouched by any real forms of life? Unlikely, but plausible. Or, the vortex could have transported them to some other part of the planet. At this point he figured anything was possible. That crimson mass he encountered a little while ago that was on Sniper made it very clear that anything was possible.

Third; how the hell did he survive that fall? Upon entering the vortex, he remembered falling from an incredible height, flung out like a ragdoll that a child decided to throw like a football. He got caught in a few branches, but eventually landed on his head, the force of the landing itself should have cracked the bones in his neck. Then the wolves made an attempt to eat him, which resulted in his sprint away from them.

And that’s how Engineer--nicknamed Engie by his ‘friends’--got to where he was now. Running in some snow covered forest looking for a place that could grant sufficient warmth. Rips in his jacket and pants allowed for the cold winds of winter to seep in and chill him deep to the very bone. His movements were stiff, but quick enough for him to continue through the woods without any problems. The buckets that sat underneath each tree had begun to disappear, probably a bad sign. The buckets were probably used to capture the snow, which would eventually melt into water, and whoever had that setup going on was in the opposite direction; most likely chewed up by the wooden wolves Engineer had encountered earlier. If they were lucky.

After trudging through the snow for about another hour, Engie was pleased to find what looked like an opening in the forest. Beyond the trees ahead of him was a dirt path that had been used very recently. What it was used by remained a mystery, but he knew that if he followed it, he’d most likely end up somewhere. Whether or not it was safe was up for speculation. These days, speculating the chances of survival in a world so harsh was all he did.

“Okay,” Engie whispered to himself. “Follow the path, but don’t go on it. Follow the path. Don’t step on it.”

Following his simple rule, Engie remained behind the trees, hugging them every now and again whenever he thought he heard a noise. Occasionally he thought he heard voices, making his heart skip a beat and making him dive into the snow covered ground, hoping that, despite his grey hooded jacket, he would be out of sight. All it did though was push snow up into the rips of his clothing. Each time he did so, he cursed himself for having eaten that rotten pie Captain demanded he ate. While Engie liked coffee, he didn’t like having scorching coffee sprayed on him.

“C’mon,” He whined loudly, not caring who or what heard him at this point. “There’s got to be something out here!”

Engie looked back at the path, finding that the trees ahead of him had vanished and he was actually standing on it. He looked around and saw that the trees themselves had actually vanished altogether, quickly finding out that he was the only one standing on the trail. He looked down at his feet, at the marks that were imprinted beside his boots. They looked like big Us had been stamped into the snow, but there was no signs of actual human shoeprints.

He turned around, watching the Us go down the path, and taking in everything around him. Trees! They were a bit distant, and there were more trees forming ahead of him, a wooden picket fence along side it. The path curved, but was obscured by a farmhouse and a barn. Surprisingly enough, they were still intact and not rotting away like most of the other buildings from before he entered the vortex. Engie followed the path the direction he originally had been going, though now, with more caution in his steps. He turned his head and looked over his shoulder every now and again, to make sure those wooden wolves weren’t following him. Engie walked to the barn took cover behind the it, hugging the walls as he tried to stealthily make his way around, just in case there was anybody around.

Engie stopped when he heard voices up ahead. His whole form stood frozen in mid-step. The voices were very....country? They sounded normal, but it wasn’t the german accent the Captain was known for, nor was it Sniper’s or Pilot’s. But it sounded like Pilot. If he wasn’t speaking, then he was definitely groaning or something.

“They are my minions!” A voice echoed down the path. Captain. Some part of Engie was a little happy to hear a familiar voice, but the majority of him wanted to strangle the delusional prick. “I require them for a mission to find my intern!”

Who was he talking to? Engie followed the trail with caution, but upon coming to the end of the curve, he was met with a shocking image. There was Captain, his military trench coat swaying in the breeze, his unmistakable purple goggles glowing and mug in hand. Under him was a whining Pilot, wiggling around with his hands and legs bound together. Beside him lay an unconscious Sniper, laying there limp in the snow. Engie was only slightly glad to see them, but was more so focus with the three....things huddled around them, glaring at the Captain, who was rambling about how the two on the ground were sent to find him and how he could have them court-martialed for disobedience and insubordination. Of course.

The orange one wore a straw cowboy hat, its emerald eyes glaring coldly at the two bodies on the ground. Beside her was a small light yellow and red haired thing. Were they horses? Yep, definitely horses.

But the scariest one, was the big red one. It didn’t look like it was screwing around, and judging from the glare it was giving Captain, it was two seconds away from slamming a hoof down on his head and cracking it open like an oversized walnut.

"Did ya have to do that?" The smallest one asked.

“After all the stuff that’s been crawlin’ around the orchard?” The orange one in the middle replied. “I’d say I’m playin’ it safe.”

“Those were my minions you boob,” Captain said matter-of-factly. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have a scarf would you?”

The three multi-colored horses looked at each other in confusion, trying to understand what the Captain was getting at.

“No, I can’t say we do,” The middle one answered. “Big Mac, would you mind getting Twilight while I haul these two over to the house. Maybe Twi will know what to do with ‘em.”

There’s more of them? Engie thought. Great.

Engie was about to step out, but a growl from behind made him freeze again. Slowly turning his head, Engie was met with a white and brown dog, though he wasn’t entirely sure what breed it was. All he knew was that it was pissed.

Leaping in the air, the dog tackled Engie to the ground snapping its jaws inches away from his face. The sharp stick still in his hand, Engie slapped the dog, hoping that the sharp point would actually stab, but with his flimsy grip, all he was doing was hitting his attacker with the bluntest end of the stick.

“Winona!”

The dog stopped, allowing Engie to shove it off of him. It ran to its master, the orange horse beside the Captain.

“Shit,” Engie muttered to himself as the Captain approached him.

“Ah, Engie!” Captain said, grabbing the downed doctor and dragging him towards the small horse who Engie assumed to be Applebloom. “This! Is my other minion. Say hello!”

“Captain!” Pilot exclaimed. “I found him!”

“Did you now? Mission accomplished!”

Yanking his arm back, Engie grunted as he stood up and brushed the snow off of his coat and mask. He kept his eyes trained on the dog, who was practically smiling and happy right now. Behind his goggles, he gave the happy dog a death glare that he wished it could see.

“Uhh, right.” Applebloom said. “Applejack, should we take ‘em to the house now?”

“Yeah,” Applejack responded. “Yeah, let’s do that. Ya’ll better not give us any trouble now, y’hear?”

Engie remained silent, slinging Snippy over his shoulder while Captain responded with a slightly angry “You cannot tell me what to do. I own this land!”

“Uh right. Well, uh....just follow us.”

The Captain let out a sigh. “Fine, I’ll play along.”

“So...” The alicorn named Twilight spoke, trying to find the words for what she was witnessing. Two hogtied..things on the ground, one completely limp and the other squirming around pretending it was a worm. Applejack had a hoof on her face, trying to get the green eyed, self-proclaimed worm to stop moving around. The two standing up watched, one encouraging him to keep squirming, calling him ‘Pilot’ while the other one with the orange goggles kept his eyes on everything that moved in the room. “What am I here for again?”

“What are these things?!” Applejack yelled above the noise of Pilot squirming and kicking like he was being tickled. “And how do we get rid of ‘em?”

“Well...” Twilight pursed her lips. By Celestia, what the heck am I supposed to do?

Twilight looked over at Fluttershy who had tagged along since she was in the library with Twilight when Big Mac knocked on the door. Spike was with Twilight as well, but he was too busy laughing at the squirming Pilot on the ground. Judging from Fluttershy’s expression, she hadn’t the slightest clue of what to do.

“I don’t think I’m the right pony for this job Applejack,” Twilight admitted. “I think the best I could do is let the princess Celestia or Luna know of what’s happening. They’ll know what to do. In the meantime....They’re going to need a place to stay. “

“Well they ain’t stayin’ here!” Applejack yelled. “The Captain here can go ahead and fu-”

“Whoa!” Pilot stood up on his two legs and began hopping around. “Look what I can do!”

“L-look at this Twi!” Applejack threw her hat on the ground. “How can I deal with this?! Get off my hat!”

The Captain froze, then stood up straight again, keeping his eyes on the ground like he were a foal that just got scolded. Applejack was seething with anger, steam practically blowing out of her nose. “They can stay anywhere but here! These guys are trouble, and I won’t have ‘em messin’ up my farm!”

“Okay, okay,” Twilight took in a deep breath. “Um, Flusttershy? Can they stay with you?”

“Oh no no no,” She responded. “The other one that came by earlier seemed to bother the animals a lot.”

“Oh well﹘wait, what?”

“T-that’s why I came to you.”

Outside of the house

Pink mists rose in the air, swept away by the oncoming breeze. Bubbles of pink hearts floated up in the air, trailing off with the mist in the wind. The source of this pink mist, a gas mask with a missing filter and glowing pink eyes.

Stalky sat on the field beside the farm, binoculars in hand and peering through the windows looking for the Captain. His Captain.

He hadn't the slightest clue about how he was still up and running, but what mattered was that he was up and running. All he remembered before waking up in some random pony's house and almost getting mauled by a bear was that he was chasing some green thing through the dead city. But now he was here. And so was the Captain.

He scanned the house, watching as the ponies were trying to work something out. Stalky’s vision averted to Pilot, who was finally sitting still beside Snippy. Captain was nowhere in sight. The orange pony was screaming her head off, yelling at a partially covered figure. The figure wore what looked like a trench coat and was holding something in it’s grip. A mug? His mug.

It was the Captain. In all his glory, probably about to punish the ones who were opposing him. The yellow pony with the pink mane suddenly appeared. It was her again. Without her hoard of animals though. Maybe the Captain would reward him for bringing him her head? Yes, that would work.

I’ll give him her head. Then, we’ll be together. Forever. O Captain! My Captain!

This Is Going To Be A Long Week

Snippy shook himself awake, ropes around his body preventing any movements. He was being dragged, but what it was by he had no idea. It was the dead of night; the stars in the sky clearer than they’d ever been in a long time. A full moon hung above him, the brightest it had been in years. Captain was most likely dragging him back to base, wherever it was this time. He had the funniest dream, something about ponies kicking him in the face and Pilot being hit right in the groin. Weird dreams were pretty common for Snippy nowadays, but that one was-

“Drop ‘em off here Twilight?”

Snippy jolted at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Then that’s when it hit him.

Damn, it wasn't a dream.

Snippy groaned loudly, not from pain, but from frustration that he was still with the ponies. The orange one who kicked him in the face earlier, was dragging him along the ground, beside her, the Captain and that smug coffee cup he held. Beside him was another pony, purple this time and a horn sticking out of its head and an abnormal lump on its back. Beside it Pilot was....floating? He giggled childishly as he floated, making sounds like he were an airplane soaring through the air. Then Engie appeared, keeping his distance from the Captain, but remaining close enough to the group for Snippy to see him walking behind and grunting and muttering something about the Captain.

“Yep,” The purple unicorn, who Snippy assumed to be Twilight, answered her orange companion. They weren’t supposed to be talking. It wasn't right. “The Ponyville Motel. I've already had Spike set up rooms for these...guys.”

Snippy turned his head to the purple unicorn and the lump on her back. It shifted again into the form of a head, a torso and arms and legs. A freaking dragon. Like, fairy tales stuff. It was a legitimate dragon.

“Do I have to see that receptionist again?” It asked with a young, annoyed voice.

Great, I’m high too. Snippy thought. He’s never seen a purple dragon or pony before. The only reason he was seeing it now could either be caused by Captain’s influence or he took some drug without knowing it. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. Being dragged by his feet was one thing, but seeing something like that was another. Snippy didn’t like where this was going. Especially if the unicorn was levitating Pilot almost effortlessly.

“Great,” The orange pony groaned. “We taking the stairs?”

“Unfortunately,” Twilight responded. “Can you carry him?”

“Nah, he’s too heavy. Maybe uh... Engie can lend a hoo—hand, sorry.”

Engie grabbed Snippy and slung him over his shoulder, hauling him up the stairs, still muttering something as he did so. Snippy wiggled around, letting Engie know that he was awake, only to receive a railing to the face as Engie turned to enter the motel room.

“Dick,” Snippy grunted under his breath. Engie threw him on the soft, plush, and comfortable bed before he took out a knife to cut away the ropes. By the time he was free of his bindings, Snippy began to stretch, groaning loudly as he did so. It had felt like an eternity since he last stretched.

“Do you guys think you can handle staying in here for tonight?” Twilight asked, giving the four an exhausted glare.

“Probably,” Engie replied.

“Yeah,” Pilot responded.

“No!” Captain’s voice raised, startling the two ponies.

Twilight slammed a face into her hoof. “And why not?”

“I need my coffee of course!”

“Doesn’t that thing kinda refill on it’s own?” Snippy asked.

“Don’t question your leader Snippy,” Captain said, giving him a blank, yet intimidating stare through his mask. “If your leader demands more coffee, then I shall acquire more coffee! Though I prefer this one in a different cup. I don’t want to mix your horse coffee with my superior coffee.”

The Captain waved his black mug around like he’d won the trophy to some kind of contest. Meanwhile, Twilight’s eyes were twitching, visibly becoming angry with The Captain and his antics. Applejack shared the same aggravation, knowing it was going to be a long time before The Captain would be leaving soon.

“Spike, can you go downstairs and-”

“Get him coffee, I got it,” The dragon responded, obviously aggravated, though whether it was because of how late it was or of Captain’s behavior was up for speculation. Snippy was pretty sure it was both, knowing how the Captain normally behaved. Snippy was surprised he’d survived this long knowing that he’d placed his trust in some guy who was practically insane.

“Just ignore the receptionist lad.” Captain said as Spike walked down the steps. “If she gives you a problem, I shall flay her alive with my coffee!”

“But I don’t have it anymore,” Pilot told him, his cheery expression becoming one of pure sadness.

Applejack yawned loudly and patted Twilight on the back. “I hope ya don’t mind, but I got t’get back home. Think you can handle it from here?”

“Celestia, I hope so,” Twilight sighed, flexing her wings. “Hopefully The Princesses know what to do.”

Stalky crept through the bushes, his eyes fixed on the yellow pony walking home, accompanied by the bigger red stallion from the farm. The two laughed as they walked, the yellow pony leaning against the red one. Stalky narrowed his eyes when the hut full of animals appeared, all of which looked as though they were defending the home from an incoming attack.

Which in reality, they soon would be.

Stalky was no stranger to animals in the barren city in which The Captain was found, but no matter how different these animals were from them, they were still that: animals. And Stalky would have no problem taking them out. At the moment, the animals were all parading that their master had returned, a few weary of the guest she’d brought with her. But nevertheless, they all greeted the duo with the animal equivalents of hugs and kisses. Stalky approached closer, trying not to make too much noise, his boots lightly cracking the twigs and crushing the leaves beneath him while the animals made all their noise. Once they all ceased, so did Stalky’s movements.

“I really appreciate you walking me home Big Mac,” The yellow pony said, twirling a few strands of her mane with a hoof.

“It was no problem Fluttershy,” He responded simply. “Have a good night.”

“You too,” She cooed. Just the sound of her voice made Stalky sick and full of anger. She needed to be taken out of the picture. Her head would be on a silver platter for Captain by the time he was through with her. She’d beg for mercy after all of it and Stalky would just stand there over her broken body, triumphant and proud of the deed that has yet to be done. All for the glory of The Captain and Capteinia.

As Big Mac began to walk down the path back to the farm, Fluttershy started on her way back to the cottage. Stalky took another step forward as soon as Fluttershy shut her door, letting all the animals follow her inside, leaving the bear to stand guard right outside the door. It curled up in a brown ball, closing its eyes and fell asleep. The consistent raising and lowering of its body and light snoring signalled to Stalky that it was asleep. And now it was time to make his move.

Swiftly, Stalky crawled through the bushes and slithered through the woodland floor. He peeked his head back up and stared back at the bear. It was still asleep. Thankfully.

Again, Stalky got down on the ground and began to crawl again. He stopped abruptly when a he crushed a branch under his weight, the snap echoing for only a few seconds. Again, he peeked his head up, releasing a long breath that was cut short when he noticed something wrong. The pink mist from his mask stopped forming from his broken filter.

It was gone.

It moved around somewhere, but wherever it had gone, it was away from the cottage. It was an open run to the door. All he had to do was run as fast as he could through the waters surrounding the cottage, and he'd just burst the door open. It was literally that simple.

But then there was a growl. Not the growl of a small animal that would undoubtedly run away if Stalky tried anything funny, but a low growl from a monster that would tear him to shreds with but a single swift motion. And it was directly beside him.

Slowly, Stalky turned his head to the left, eye to eye with the bear that was safeguarding the door just seconds ago.

“Uh-oh,” Stalky muttered before the bear grabbed him by the leg with its powerful jaws and flung him in the air, Stalky flying like a rag doll thrown by a child. He landed on the path to the cottage, another straight run presenting itself to him. But there was the problem of the bear who just snarled its teeth and gave Stalky a look that said “Stay the hell away from the house.”

But Stalky was no fool. He knew he could easily outwit the bear. All it would take was a little risk.

Taking a deep breath, Stalky stood up and sprinted like his life depended on it. Most likely because it was. He ran down the path like a mad man, determined to get to the cottage, the bear beginning to charge at him with the same kind of determination. It’s eyes were full of primal anger, as were Stalky’s. Time slowed the moment just before they met on the path. Stalky’s fist rose up, eager to knock the bear’s teeth in. The bear, on the other hand, opened its mouth, the teeth ready to dig into Stalky’s flesh and rip apart his whole arm. Stalky’s scream of anger could be heard for miles, as could the bear’s snarls and growls.

When time began to return to its normal pace, Stalky instantly swung his fist around, turning away from the bear, and sprinted away, his arms waving in the air as he screamed in terror. The bear tilted its head in confusion, unsure of whether or not to chase down the screaming man with the pink goggles and pink mist following him.

Damn! Stalky thought, diving into the bushes when he was out of the bear’s view. A direct approach will not be as easy as I thought it would be. I’ll have to take a more sneaky approach. And I have the perfect idea!

Fluttershy was sitting on her couch in the living room of her cottage when she heard screaming outside. It didn’t sound like anybody she knew, but whoever it was obviously needed help.

Using her wings to boost herself off the couch, Fluttershy rushed to the door, moving faster after she heard the growl of a bear. She swung the door open and was met with the brown grizzly bear that had refused to come inside earlier. Not that it really could. She peered past it, but saw nobody. Maybe it was a thief and the bear scared him off? Or maybe the screams came from town?

“Did you scare someone off Mr. Bear?” Fluttershy asked like she were talking to a young cub. It shook its head happily, doing the bears equivalent of a smile. Fluttershy felt bad about having scared someone off though, but late at night you could never be too sure who or what roamed around. Fluttershy knew better than to ask the bear who it was it scared away though. It wasn't like the bear would give her an actual response. All she’d get was a growl.

At least it was keeping a lookout. Especially after the incident earlier with that...Captain and the other...Things. Whatever they were. And that other one that got into a fight with the birds and got attacked by the squirrels. Fluttershy felt horrible when it didn’t allow her to apologize for the inconvenience. She felt even more so when the raven continued to peck at his metal helmet.

“Hopefully, Twilight would be able to send them back home,” Fluttershy said aloud, giving the bear a goodnight kiss and shutting the door. “Wherever it is.”

It was about seven in the morning when The Captain stumbled out of the bathroom and dropped his searing hot coffee onto Pilot’s lap, who screamed bloody murder as soon as the searing hot liquid landed on him, waking both Engie and Snippy from their slumber. Engie groaned in frustration as did Snippy, the two raising themselves from the small bed they had to share.

When The Captain stood up and grabbed his mug again, he acted like nothing had even happened, throwing a towel at Pilot, who was whimpering. The four stood around, Snippy and Engie stretching while Pilot wiped the coffee from his clothes. Captain just stood around watching everybody before opening the door and descending the steps.

The ponies in town had already began walking around, though most were too tired to notice Captain, Snippy, Engie and Pilot exiting the motel or were too busy talking amongst each other to even notice.

“God,” Engie muttered. “Look at all of them.”

“There’s so many.” Snippy noted, watching as a blue unicorn levitated a box full of potatoes to a stand where other produce had been placed. Another one, pink walked around with baskets full of flowers hung from her sides, like a saddle with two baskets on the sides.

“Ponies!” Pilot yelled, jumping up in the air, catching the attention of all the ponies in the area who just stopped and watched in horror and confusion as Pilot flew across the air, his arms spread out like he was pretending to be a plane. Below him, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane stared at him, its life practically flashing before its eyes before it darted out of the way, moving at the speed of light.

Pilot landed with a hard thud on the dirt ground, face first. The cyan pegasus stared at Pilot, almost like it was disgusted at the sight of him. When he got up, she let out a yelp and hit him in the head, though not too hard.

“Ouchie,” Pilot said, rubbing his head and staring eye to eye with the mildly terrified pony. “Rainbows!”

“What?” Was all the pegasus said before Pilot wrapped his arms around her, a look of confusion and disgust spreading on the rainbow maned pegasus’ face. Pilot rubbed his face on her chest, holding the pony tightly, gaining strange glares of all kinds from the surrounding ponies.

“Get the heck off me!” She yelled, kicking Pilot away. She turned to run away, but slammed her face against The Captain, who pushed her back in Pilot’s direction.

“Do you not know who I am?” Captain sounded mildly irritated. “I am the Captain! Your new leader!”

“Ah!” The ponies around the five gasped when Pilot gripped onto the pegasus who took flight, taking Pilot with her.

“Let go of me!” Her cries fell on deaf ears, Pilot giggling like a child. She flew in circles, did flips and tried to throw Pilot off, but he wouldn’t let go.

“What is going on here!?” Twilight’s voice boomed. Her horn lit up, a purple aura surrounding Pilot, yanking him off of the pegasus. “I told you four not to come out of the motel without my say so!”

“So?” The Captain said. “You have no authority over me!”

“I am a princess!” Twilight screamed, the rainbow pony appearing beside her. “I have more authority over you than anybody in this town! Rainbow Dash, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but my main concern is...those things,” Rainbow responded. “What the heck are those?”

Twilight paused for a moment, gesturing for the four men to follow her. “I don’t know. All I want is for them to leave!”

“That’s not fair,” Engie cut in. “You haven’t even talked to anyone besides The Captain.”

“Because I am the most entertaining out of all of us! Is this not true Twily?”

Twilight remained silent. Instead she groaned in frustration as she led them to an unknown destination. Ponies gave them all strange glances, some even going as far as to run away from them. Twilight’s reassuring smile didn’t help them so much either. Rainbow kept a close eye on Pilot, who kept reaching down to pet her mane, only to have his hand swatted away by her hoof.

Before long, a tree protruding from the ground, bigger than anything Snippy, Pilot, Engie and The Captain had ever seen, began to appear in the distance. Spike was seen from the balcony, placing a claw on his face when he saw Twilight and her new ‘friends’ approaching. He prayed that Twilight would stay level headed, at least until Princess Celestia and Luna figured out what to do with them. Deep down, Spike hoped that they’d banish them to the moon, where they only had each other’s company.

Twilight opened the door, but before letting the group in she glared at each of them. “Do not touch anything. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes.” They all said in unison. Twilight kept a close eye on all of them when they did walk in, making sure they kept their hands to themselves.

“So before you guys ended up leaving the motel, I was going to—” Twilight paused. “Where did Captain go?”

A thud from upstairs made Twilight grit her teeth in agitation. Princess Celestia, why must you test me this way?

Spike appeared from the stairs. “What was that?”

“He’s not up there?” Twilight asked. Spike shook his head.

“He left just a second ago,” Pilot said, aiming a finger towards the door. “He told me not to tell anyone.”

“I claim this land!” Captain screamed, making the group rush outside. He stood atop the tree, hanging onto a stray branch as he swayed with the wind. The group stared at him, their mouths agape and their hands on their faces at the sight of Captain’s latest stunt. “My loyal minions! I shall call it: New Capteinia!”

Twilight grit her teeth. “This is going to be a long week.”

Author's Note

Well here it is. I'm not really sure about how I feel about this story even though I have an idea of where it's going to end up. I'm just afraid of the execution, truth be told.

Anyway, feedback would be much appreciated.