Guardians of Canistria

by RaChimera

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad, Romance, Adventure
Length: 2430

Lucky Charms is having bad luck. But now it'll be up to this Dirish Wolf to save Canistria from some nut job.

Lucky Charm is having a bad luck streak. He's been kicked out of his homeland, he now has to go to a strange new place and now some nut job wants to take over the world and it seems the elements of harmony can't do anything to stop him. What's a Dirish Wolf to do in this situation? Simple: Drink from a pub, kick ass, and save the world. Easy as pie.

Rated Teen for Mild Gore, Swearing, and Sexual Humor
Hope you enjoy :)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-04 00:10:14 UTC

Exiled

Equestria. A place of peace, harmony and friendship. It is also the home to many races of mythical creatures including talking equines. But in the multiverse, there are many versions of Equestria. One of which they’re humans, the one where they’re ponies, and there’s one where the ponies are predators known.. as wolves. In this universe, the great continent they rule is known as Canistria which is under the rule of the Royal Wolf Sisters, Celestia and Luna. The races of wolves known is this land are the Earth Wolves, they walk among the ground and have a great connection with nature, the Pterolycos, the winged wolves, and the Betas, wolves that have sprouted a horn that channels their magic. Together with the Alphas, they live together in perfect harmony. And this is the story of an Earth Wolf and his great journey of how he defended Canistria.

“AND STAY OUT!” A loud voice called from a pub in Direland. As it yelled this a wolf was tossed with great force outside of the pub with great force and into the rainy wilderness.

“Oy. Ssssecond pub I’ve been tosssssed out of. What did I do thisssss time?” He slurred as he drunkenly tried to get back up to his paws. This wolf was known in Direland for being one of the few wolves to be thrown out of every single bar in the land. His fur was a tone of shamrock green, with a tail darker than that, and his eyes were a bright orange. There on the end of his tail was a splash of white. His battle mark was a four leafed shamrock on the toe of a horseshoe that was hung upside down. This wolf was known as the drunk, Lucky Charms.

“All I did wassss ask for a drink and then that…. hot…. gorgeous she-wolf came at me.” He grinned as he remembered the she-wolf that approached him. He did seem to remember something about her being the pub owner’s sister or something like that and how he cheated on her some way or another. After trying to keep on his paws for more than ten seconds without falling off them, he stumbled down the street. He shivered as the cold rain came down and doused him in water.

“Ya’ bloody godssssh! Can never give me a break can ya’?!” He drunkenly yelled as he looked up into the air. As he began one of the many famous Dirish rants, every wolf in their homes on that street closed their windows and locked their doors, hoping to keep his irritating voice out of their lives. “Bloody cheap arsssse godssssh! Ay don’t need yer crazzzy rulesssss! Ay live by me own live sssstyle!” He barked at the sky in drunken rage. As soon as he finished that sentence, with a flash of light, a bolt of lightning came down and struck the wolf, causing him to scream as static electricity coursed through him.

After a minute, Lucky Charms looked like a burnt piece of laundry lint with the tip of his tail sizzling like bacon. “Why thosssse bloody…. DAMN YOU GODSSSSSSH! AY DON’T CARE IF I’M A DRUNK! I’LL LIVE ME LIFE HOW I WANT TOO!” He barked angrily up into the sky again. Once more a bolt of lightning came down right at his paws. “Aaaaaahhhhh ferget it I’m headin’ home.” He said to himself. He walked down the path and another bolt streaked by him “I’m going home already!” Lucky barked at the sky. He walked down the cobblestone path that was the street and watched the place around him. Though most of it seemed blurry, he noticed that some wolves were in the market with their pups, some were in a drunken brawl, and a few were heading into back alleys.

Bloody bastards. Can’t find a decent place to rut. He thought as he continued down the street. He then felt a familiar tingling in his stomach area.

“Oh boy. Here comes the ale. Oh gods-” He started as he gagged. But then, he finally let loose the contents of his stomach. The bile that came out of his mouth was something that would be talked about in Direland for years to come. “Note to meself: Never drink Ale ever again…… screw it drink it anyways.” He said with a broad smile on his face. He then continued on until he finally made it to his house, a small wooden hut. He opened the door and walked in, noticing the ale bottles scattered around the floor. Using his jaws, he picked up one that was half full and headed to his bed.

“Better to drink than to waste.” He said to himself as he placed the bottle in a position to where the liquid content flowed into his mouth. After some chugs, the bottle fell and out of alcohol taking over his system, be began to sing a Dirish sea shanty.

What will we do with a drunken sailor, what will we do with a drunken sailor, what will we do with a drunken sailor, early in the mornin’?

Way, hey and up she rises, way, hey and up she rises, way, hey and up she rises, early in the mornin’.

Shave his belly with a rusty razor, shave his belly with a rusty razor, shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the mornin’.

That was all the wolf could get out before suddenly, he collapsed onto the bed and snored loudly into the night. Among the sleeping rambles he made one of them was the single word “Teats.”

The next morning he woke up with a massive pain in his head known as the hangover. Fortunately he had plenty of them before so he knew how to get rid of it quickly. He reached into the refrigerator he rarely used and pulled out the most easiest way to rid of a hangover. He pulled out gently with his fangs, two eggs.

The Dirish way to rid of a hangover. Also, the best way to test new egg recipes. He thought happily as he cracked the eggs and placed them in his rusty iron skillet which sat on a stove which rarely worked. This day however fate smiled on him as the skillet slowly started to cook the eggs in unison and they really cooked fast but also made an occasional loud pop in the process. After a few minutes, Lucky took the eggs from the pan and placed them on one of his dirty plates he owned. He took them and sat on his bed. Lucky then ate the eggs gleefully and after he was done, let out a loud belch.

“‘Cuse me.” He said to himself with a chuckle. But then, a knocking was heard coming from his door. He quickly ran to it and opened it, only to see his friend Speedy Delivery. Speedy was a Pterolycos she-wolf with a shining bronze fur, and a duller tail. Her eyes shined a silvery blue and her battle mark was a shadow of a wolf’s head with a letter in its mouth.

“Ay. Mornin’ Lucky.” She said with a smile which caused the wolf to give one back.

“Mornin’ Speedy. Anythin’ interestin’ for me?” He asked.

“Nothin’ much lad. It seems that the town is gettin’ together soon though. Wanna come see what the fuss could be about?” She asked him. Lucky soon had a stern look on his face as he stood up straight.

“Can a pig riverdance in the mud?” He asked back, causing the she-wolf to laugh.

“Then let’s get goin’!” She said as she flew off towards their town center. Lucky followed her on paw as fast as he could through the street.

“How much did ya’ have to drink last night Lucky?” Speedy asked.

“Not enough.” He replied, getting a snicker from the she-wolf.

“Bit of advice Lucky? Never change…. although I would say that turning down a notch or two on the ol’ drink machine wouldn’t hurt too badly.” She joked to which Lucky snorted a little. They arrived a little while later and saw that, indeed, the whole town was congregating around somewolf.

“And there he is.” Their mayor, Pack Master, said as he stared at the green wolf, causing all the others to stare at him.

“Mayor, what’s goin’ on?” He asked.

“Lucky, ya’ve caused damage to buildin’s, harassed she-wolves, caused bar fights, and broke many stools over many a wolf’s head.” Mayor Pack Master replied.

“What do ya…. Look I’ve damaged some buildin’s yes but I fixed them to didn’t I? Also those she-wolves really had it comin’ also, I’M AVAILIABLE ON WEEKENDS LASSIES! Now is there anything else…. oh yeah your daughter said hi.” He said and every wolf in the area gasped at this.

“How do you know my daughter?” The mayor growled.

“Well if you’re wondering about which night I rutted the poor lassie I’d say…. two nights ago? Maybe three?” He wondered, getting a ferocious bark out of the mayor.

“Lucky, I hereby… exile ya’ from Direland! And to the western side of Canis!” The mayor barked, causing the wolf’s eyes to widen in shock as the words echoed through his ears.

Lucky, I hearby… exile ya’ from Direland! Replayed in Lucky Charms mind as he tried to slowly process what the statement meant. “Y-yer exlin’ me from me home?” he said with a sad tone laced in his voice.

“Ay I am! You’ve caused enough damage ter make a bloody Banshee jealous!” The Mayor barked back. “Now, I’m givin’ ya’ some time to say yer’ goodbyes before the boat comes to take ya’ outta here!” Pack Master replied.

N-No. I can’t leave. He thought as his ears drooped and as he whined.

“As they say on the other side of Canis, may Celestia and Luna have mercy on yer soul.” The Mayor growled as the other wolves he once knew surrounded and growled at him. He couldn’t believe the, ironically enough, bad luck that suddenly hit him this day. First he was kicked out of one of his favorite pubs and now he was being exiled to an unknown land and not one wolf was going to stand up for him.

“I….. I don’t have anyone to say-”

“Yes you do Lucky!” A familiar voice said. He looked and saw Speedy standing in front of him, her wings wide open and her fangs bared.

“S-Speedy.” Lucky said with a small grin.

“Speedy, you dare stand up with this exiled wolf?!” The mayor shouted to her.

“An exiled wolf? All I see is a poor soul lookin’ for somethin’ to help him. All you and nearly every other wolf in this place has ever done was tear him down and forcing this to happen to him! You should all be ashamed-” She started. But then the mayor leaped and with his jaws open wide, tackled Speedy and placed a grip on her neck. Lucky just stood there and watched as his friend fought to protect his honor. Speedy tore the mayor off of her neck and pounced him, biting at his chest and neck.

“YOU WILL LEARN DISCIPLINE YOU LITTLE MUTT! I WILL NEVER BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT AGAIN!” The mayor roared as one of his claws raked across Speedy’s chest. She stopped mid bite and looked down at her bleeding chest.

“SPEEDY! NO!” Lucky yelled as he ran towards the bleeding she-wolf.

“P-please Lucky. D-don’t cry it r-really doesn’t f-fit you.” She gasped out from her chest.

“S-Speedy, you didn’t have to do this.” Lucky said sadly as he tried to help his friend up but she fell to the ground.

“L-Lucky, I-I want to tell you something.” She said with a small tear as it dripped from her face.

“What? W-what is it?” Lucky asked. Slowly, the dying she-wolf brought her head up and whispered into his ear “I… love you.” But then, her head fell as the last of her breath escaped her. Lucky could only gasp as he looked at his friend. He stared directly into her eyes and watched as they went dull.

“S-Speedy…. wake-up. P-please Sp-Speedy.” He begged the dead body but it didn’t respond to him.

“Hmph. That should show why you don’t belong here Lucky. Everywhere you go disaster follows. I do believe this wasn’t the first one you lost. What about that bitch you called a mother-” Before the mayor could continue Lucky pounced at him, claws all the way out.

“YOU BLOODY BASTARD! I’M GONNA RIP YOUR BLOODY NECK OPEN AND FEED IT TO THE VULTURES!” Lucky roared as he tried to bite the mayor. But then, a random wolf from the crowd charged and rammed him, sending him to the ground. As Lucky tried to get up, the mayor, now bloodied, held the wolf by his throat.

“Leave now. And never come back.” The mayor simply growled into his ear. Lucky growled back in response.

“Oy… I’ll leave. But trust me on this. I will return and when I do Speedy will be avenged. By my claw I will kill you in her name you cowardly bastard.” Lucky Charms growled as he got up and limped away.

A few hours later, Lucky held an old burlap sack over his shoulder as he waited down by the Direland docks.

Ma’, Speedy, if you can ‘ear me, I promise that Mayor Dumbass will pay for what he did. I promise. Lucky thought angrily as his paws scraped the dirt under him. A few moments later the ships started coming in. The first one that came in was, in fact, the same boat that would take him away from the hellhole he once called home. He gave one big leap and landed on the ship paws first. As he got into the lower decks, he noticed was  what he thought an Alpha She-Wolf. Her fur was dark blue like her wings, her tail was long and flowing, and a long horn stuck out of the center of her head. Thinking that he could have a nice ride, he walked over and sat next to her.

“Ah, a new immigrant I see. May I ask for your name?” The She-Wolf asked him. Lucky just growled a little as he stared at her.

“The name’s Lucky Charms although it doesn’t fit with how my day has been. And yers Lassie?” He asked the Alpha who simply smiled at him in sympathy.

“My name is Luna.”