Trixie’s Number One Assistant
By: Rustle My Jimmies
The small stage lit up with a fantastic display of fireworks and flashes, and the audience let out a half-hearted stomp. A blue mare with a goofy purple hat and an even goofier cape swung herself around, displaying her proud posture for everypony to see.
“Pay close attention, fillies and gentlecolts, because you might just see something stupendous!” She reared back and danced on her hind legs dramatically. The audience of ponies watched, entranced by the brilliant flashes of blue and purple. A simple rope arose from the ground, cast in a gentle pale blue aura of magic. The watchers oohed and ahhed as it was spun and wrenched into different shapes, first a jumpy rabbit, then a long-necked giraffe.
“Get off the stage!” a shout erupted, catching the unicorn halfway between an expression of surprise and fluster. Her eyes darted back and forth as she searched in the audience for the stallion that shouted. She kept smiling, but the voice shouted again, “I said get off the stage, you hack!”
A rumbling crossed the audience as they began to dissipate into the street. Only a few remained in half-enthused observation. The Great and Powerful Trixie—as the bright and vivid sign above her boldly proclaimed—ignored the rude statement with a scoff and continued her act. Suddenly, a gentle aura encompassed two floating metal rings.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie will now perform magic in front of your very eyes!” She pushed the rings together once, and with a clang, they bounced off each other. Trixie’s face revealed an expression of mild surprise, which a few members of the audience keened into. It was all fake, though. She tried once more, and again, they clanked together with no result. She readied her spell for the final try, the big reveal to the audience.
“The unicorn can’t even do her own tricks!” He laughed rudely. “Get off the stage, you’re blocking the road!”
Trixie was through with the trick. She threw down the rings in a giant clatter and glared into the audience. With a snort, she seethed out a reply to the unruly stallion. “You are being rude! If you would have just waited—”
Splat!
Trixie blinked with and gawked in disbelief. Her face turned red in a blushing mix of anger and embarrassment. She could feel the liquid pouring down her face and the squishy fruit impaled on her horn. Somepony had thrown a tomato at her. She sniffed and covered her nose quickly.
Somepony had thrown a rotten tomato at Trixie.
She pushed it off with a hoof and harrumphed. “How dare you ruin Trixie’s trick!” she yelled, throwing off any measure of showmanship she had retained. “You… you...!” She stomped a hoof. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will not stand for your insults!”
The stallion, an earth pony, trotted up and chuckled. “Oh yeah? You call those tricks? Those aren’t even fake! How are you going to be a magician with real magic? Magicians are supposed to use illusions and sleight of hoof, not cheat with real magic!” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “That’s like an earth pony running a mile for bits. Why don’t you get a real job, ya two-bit unicorn.”
The audience grumbled in agreement and began to dissipate into the busy Manehatten street. Trixie trotted off the stage, using her magic to pack up her tricks and supplies. Her chest heaved, and she found it difficult to breathe. She felt very nervous. It was an uneasy nervousness that made her panic, and she didn’t like it. Trixie hitched herself up to her mobile stage and galloped frantically down the concrete street. She didn’t care where she was heading, only that she was away from those ponies who heckled her. She took a quick left and darted into an empty gap in between the buildings, trash cans lining the sides and old newspapers blowing around in the wind. Finally, she came to a stop.
Trixie fell onto her haunches and sunk her head low to the ground. She let out a huff. “Trixie isn’t a two-bit unicorn…” She felt her heart sink down as well. “I’m not a two-bit unicorn…”
Trixie was lying down on the ground in the back alley between a small diner and the First Manehatten Bank, cursing her simultaneous existence as both a magician and a unicorn. What rotten luck, she thought. Her special talent just had to be magic tricks, and she just had to have a horn. Sometimes, she felt like earth ponies were the luckiest ponies of them all, being so ordinary and pedestrian.
Trixie had often thought that she could employ an earth pony assistant to entertain the crowd as well—one that the audience would be mildly surprised to see do a trick—but she quickly threw the thought out, batting a hoof at the ground. Having another pony in the show would almost certainly distract watchers from the real act. And Trixie wouldn’t play second fiddle to anypony.
She needed something. Something was missing even though Trixie couldn’t quite pick it out. Something which that annoying Twilight Sparkle had that she didn't. It left a bad taste in Trixie’s mouth when she thought about Twilight Sparkle. She hated herself for brooding over it, but the gnawing sensation inside kept dragging her mind back to that Twilight Sparkle, living in her stupid treehouse, with her stupid friends.
Trixie let out a huff. She was jealous of Celestia’s pupil, and she hated herself passionately for it. Trixie understood full well it was unhealthy to think these thoughts, but now it seemed to be more chronic to the point that it could keep her awake at night if she allowed it. But, no matter how many times she’d rack her brain and rehearse the last few visits to Ponyville in her head, she couldn’t think of the one single thing that Twilight Sparkle had that she didn’t. Of course, there was her study under the Princess. Trixie could never forget that advantage.
But Trixie was no foal. She wasn’t seeking to undo the past to even the field between a mare she had only met twice, no matter how large of an adversary she considered her. No, she wanted to square things off now. Taking education and biological differences out of the equation, what was the one thing Twilight had that she did not? The one thing that gave her a visible advantage over Trixie. Her red, puffy eyes stared off into nowhere as she thought and thought about it. What did that Twilight Sparkle have that she did not?
“Woof!”
Trixie nearly doubled over as the loud noise caught her off guard. She rolled onto her back and searched frantically for what made it. Her eyes rested on a gray mutt sitting a few feet away by the wheels on her cart. He was an old, scroungy, gray mutt with scruffy whiskers and a big wet nose. He had a big bushy tail and showed off little jagged teeth in a big, breathy smile. He watched her intently as he wagged his tail.
“Shoo!” she hissed at the pest. “Get out of here, dog! Trixie needs to be alone right now!” Trixie made a get-outta-here motion with her hooves as she backed away, only to find the dog plopping down on his haunches, eye level with the mare. She shrunk back at the realization that the dog was as large as a full sized pony. Maybe he was even larger than her. He wasn’t nearly as fierce and brooding as a wolf, but his lanky legs made him appear menacing.
Trixie bore down with her eyes, flapping her forelegs around harder. “Trixie said git!”
The dog closed his mouth and tilted his head, curious about the unicorn. They stared at each other for a moment until Trixie realized he was an animal. She let out a pained sigh; it was ridiculous to assume that animals are capable of understanding ponies. She sat back up. They stared into each other for a while before Trixie broke the silence.
“You wouldn’t happen to know why Twilight Sparkle is better than Trixie, would you?”
The dog stared blankly at the mare, sitting down and happily wagging his tail.
“Trixie didn’t think so…” She let out a sigh and turned her head toward the ponies trotted back and forth at the mouth of the alley, unaware of her presence. “Trixie knows it’s stupid to compare herself to others,” she said. “But it’s not like she can just sit by and not think about it.” Her hooves crossed over each other, and she laid down on her stomach, careful to lay on her cape to keep herself clean.
“Trixie can’t believe she’s talking to a dog,” she stated, looking back at her company. Her nose scrunched up. “Trixie also can’t believe how bad you smell.”
The dog ceased his panting and whimpered a little at her statement. Trixie struggled to giggle at the funny face he had made and surmised that he was just being curious. But she thought he did need a bath pretty badly.
“I… I mean, Trixie, is sorry you have to see her like this. Nopony is supposed to see her like this.” She twiddled her hooves together and stared at the ground. “If Trixie could, she would always be performing so nopony could see her act like a regular pony. It ruins the magic, you see.”
The dog stood up from his seat and began to walk towards her. She saw the motion in the corner of her eye and looked up in fear. Trixie froze up. He was even bigger standing up than it had been sitting down. She sat silently and breathed slowly as he slowly came closer and closer, his big, red tongue lolling out of his mouth, and a heavy, foul breath passing over Trixie’s nose. She nearly gagged.
“G-Good doggy,” she stammered. “D-Don’t hurt Trixie…” The dog came closer, face inches away from Trixie’s. His nose puffed up and down as he sniffed her down.
Suddenly, she felt a disgusting wetness rush up her cheek and drag her face along with it. The assault continued one lick after another as each attack pulled at her fur and left an prickly feeling run up her spine. “Yuck!” she yelled, pulling away. “Doggy kisses!” Trixie feverishly wiped her cheek with the back of her forehoof, trying to clean her face of the dog saliva. She looked at him angrily.
“Bad dog! Git!” She flailed her hooves and tried to get the dog to back away. It seemed to work as he plopped back down a couple feet away from her, panting happily. Trixie eyed him distastefully. “Why won’t you just leave Trixie alone?! What did Trixie ever do to you?”
The dog padded the ground with his forepaws and laid down, resting his jaw on the floor and ears laying down. His tail continued to wag cheerfully.
Trixie sighed, joining the dog on the ground, her ears dipping as well. “What is Trixie doing? She knows you can’t understand her, just like she’ll never understand Twilight Sparkle.” She bit her lip. “Why is Trixie still talking to you? It’s not like you can even speak…”
“Bark!”
The dog stood up suddenly, wagging his tail hastily and dancing on his paws again. Trixie looked up at him and narrowed her brow. “What’s gotten into you all the sudden?”
He watched her expectantly.
“Trixie didn’t mean to offend you; she only said you couldn’t speak.”
“Bark! Bark!”
Trixie raised lifted her brow on one side and looked him up and down. She stood up and surveyed him. “Speak,” she said.
“Bark! Bark! Bark!”
“You can understand me? Why didn’t you say anything before?”
The dog stared at her blankly. Trixie watched as he wagged his tail harder, waiting for her to say something. “Hmm…” she said. “Sit.”
The dog sat.
“Lie down,” she ordered.
He laid down.
Trixie cheered at the dog’s obedience. It was strangely entertaining to her. “Good boy! Very good boy!”
The dog wagged its tail, but didn’t stand up. He remained seated, panting and smiling at her with its rows of sharp teeth. Trixie eyed him before saying: “Come!” The dog sprang up and rushed towards her, his tongue returning to her face as she toppled over from the assault of dog kisses. She hadn’t expected it and tried to push him away, but he was persistent. It didn’t help that she was giggling like a maniac.
“Cease! Stop! Get off of me!” she yelled in between howls of laughter. “Heel! Heel!” she yelled. The dog quit his attacks and plopped back down next to her.
“For a big dog, you sure are friendly,” she said, wiping away his saliva. “What is your obsession with the Great and Powerful Trixie’s face?”
The dog whimpered and rolled over, showing her his belly. He brought his paws up and batted them at her hooves lovingly. He continued to squirm and whimper at her.
“What do you want now?” she asked having cleaned her face for the most part. “Why are you making that face at me?” Trixie scrunched up her face to mimic the strange, big eyed expression he carried. He batted at her again and whined.
“Why are you begging?” He whined some more. “You want food? Is that it?”
“Hmmm,” he responded in a squeal. Trixie could have probably figured that out before considering his strange friendliness. She probably reeked of tomatoes, and that would explain his attraction to her face. She sighed and stood up. He did as well.
“Stay,” she said, patting him in the head. “Trixie will be right back.”
She departed from the alley, heading back into the street where ponies were going about their daily lives, unaware of the dog stoically watching them pass by. He didn’t so much as move a muscle until he was told to do so. His stomach growled, and he couldn’t help but whine again.
“Hold on,” Trixie shouted, trotting back into the alley. “Trixie has something for you to eat.” She sat down next to him, and a blue aura captured her hat and removed it from her head. The dog watched curiously and then happily as a few mushy tomatoes floated out and onto the ground before him.
“Trixie knows it’s not much, but it’s all she has.”
The dog turned his head slightly and looked at her. He was waiting.
“Go ahead, eat,” she confirmed.
The dog wagged his tail and happily tore the tomatoes apart. Trixie laughed at his tenacity and gently patted him on the back. “Good boy,” she said. “You’re a very good dog.”
The dog barked in response and nudged the tomato toward Trixie. She peered into his black eyes curiously as he whined again, pushing the fruit closer as if he were offering her a share.
Trixie giggled and shook her head. “That’s okay, but thank you anyway. Trixie isn’t very hungry right now.” The dog seemed to understand and quickly began chowing down while she pet his back. “Whoever owns you is lucky to have such a nice doggy.”
The dog looked up and whined, leaving his tomato unfinished. His tail stopped wagging.
Trixie pet his back again. “Go ahead,” she said. “Finish eating before it gets even more rotten.” Trixie rubbed a hoof behind his ears, and he cooed happily.
Trixie finally noticed something while giving the dog some much earned attention. She gasped as she felt his ribs protrude along his abdomen, hidden by a layer of matted up fur. His legs looked emaciated up close, and he shook as she caressed his sides softly. She wanted to take back her previous statement. His last owners weren’t lucky, they were negligent. Sure, he was a bit of a brute, but he was incredibly polite for a dog.
Trixie stood up and trotted to her cart. The dog looked up at her. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s see what other tricks you know.”
The dog happily obliged.
~~~
“Pay close attention, fillies and gentlecolts, because you might just see something stupendous!” A flurry of fireworks lit up the air as a blue mare in a funny hat and an even funnier cape trotted out, beaming toward the audience. “Come on out, Tomato!”
A gangly dog with a funny blue bowtie pinned to his chest walked out, coming to rest by her side and panting and smiling toward the audience. Reactions ranging from seeing a cute dog wearing pony clothes to a few gasps from Tomato’s size took hold of the crowd. Trixie nuzzled him and gave him a quick pat on the head. “Good boy, Tomato! Now sit!”
The dog did so. “Now, fillies and gentlecolts, I need a volunteer!” She looked out into the crowd and saw a little filly dancing around and raising her hoof as high as she could. “You!” Trixie shouted, levitating her onto the stage in a quick fashion. “Allow me to introduce you to my number one assistant.” The dog licked the filly’s face as she giggled frantically. “This is Tomato.”
The dog barked, and the filly cringed.
Trixie giggled. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Tomato’s a sweetheart.”
The filly seemed to calm down, and the audience watched in rapt attention. Trixie smiled as she floated out a few tomatoes from her hat. “He really likes tomatoes,” she said. “Feed him a few of these, and he’ll be your best friend forever.”
