It was time.
No more planning. No more thinking.
Dash’s stomach turned as her hooves flitted of their own accord. It was almost as if she was hovering an inch above the cloud, even as her wings remained clenched firmly at her sides. She shifted her feathers to force feeling back into the numb appendages.
No time for nervousness. She had to push it aside. All of her training, all of her passion for this one moment. One shot. She couldn’t afford to screw up now.
No pressure or anything.
A drip of sweat glistened as it trickled down her forehead, dripping uncomfortably into her tense eye. Dash flinched as the gritty texture of the salt caused a flood of tears, her vision blurring. Blinking hurriedly to clear the obstruction, she once again regained her focus, squinting in the morning sunlight.
There, ahead of her, the track. The puffy rings that marked the course, the wisps of stratus to the sides and the stoic referee with a whistle to his lips.
To her side, the other racers. Rhythm, Rosewing, Airheart. Their crisp flight suits not so much as rustling in the breeze. The three of them crouched tensely with all attention focused forward.
Right. Eyes forward and concentrate. That was all that mattered. Muscles tense to the point of stiffness, Dash shifted stance and felt a rewarding pain. Out of the corner of her eye, the referee opened his mouth.
“Ready”
Final positions now, no time to waste. Dash bounced on the balls of her hooves one last time and resumed the racing crouch.
“Set”
A jolt of electricity tore through her veins. Hair standing on edge, heart storming a million miles an hour. Concentration. No mind power was spared on anything other than the task in hand.
The victory.
The trophy.
The chance to join the Wonderbolts.
It was all hers for the taking. No big deal, she was the one and only Rainbow Dash.
She had time for one last breath, the crisp air like fire in her lungs. And then the quiet before the storm…...
“Go!”
“Hey Dash”
“Hey…….Dash!
“Dash!”
Rainbow glanced over her aching shoulder. What did they want from her? Hadn’t she done enough to earn some solitude? The worst thing they could possibly do was offer help. The heavy weight crushing her heart wouldn’t be lifted by another pony, this was her burden. Her body felt old and tired as she struggled to find the energy to respond.
“What?” she snapped, patience wearing to a breaking point.
Applejack trotted level with her pegasus friend, a concerned smile covering her face.
“You did great in that race Rainbow.”
The orange mare silently cursed as her words came out sounding extremely forced and condescending.
“Oh shut up Applejack,” Rainbow shot down the peace offering. The words seemed to hang in the air with a brutal immediacy. The weight on her heart increased as she wastefully tried to take back what had just been said.
Applejack raised her eyebrows as Dash flattened her ears nervously.
“Think before speaking Rainbow” she repeated to herself, trying to avoid the other mare’s icy gaze by fixing her own to the dirt beneath her hooves.
They continued walking on in silence, but it was far from content. Rainbow infinitely desired to find a way to restart the conversation, but every lead found itself smashed into a brick wall no matter how much brain power she invested in its development. Did she want to apologize or criticize? Both paths fought for dominance in her jumbled mind.
The road wound between several trees and the Apple family farm appeared in view, meaning that Rainbow’s house hovered just a short way further down the road. Dash wanted nothing more than to be alone, to be away from this orange pony whose presence tormented her so strongly. And yet, she didn’t want the other mare to leave. Not on this note. Fortunately, it didn’t seem that her stubborn friend wanted to give up and was willing to force the issue.
“Just remember Dash, you're awesome. No matter how many races you win or lose.” Applejack stopped as she reached the gate, looking at her fellow athlete’s downcast eyes with compassion.
Rainbow’s only reply came in the form of an exasperated groan. This wasn’t the statement she needed. In fact, it made her feel much, much worse.
“Look Rainbow,” she continued, “You’ve got what it takes, you were just a bit off your game this time round. Happens to everypony.”
“Look Applejack,” Dash mimicked in an insultingly accented tone, anger at the other pony’s apparent lack of understanding permeating her speech. “I don’t need your cheap phrases. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you. Just another victory in our little competition.”
Applejack snorted in offense with narrowed eyes, her temper rising considerably.
“Really Dash? I’m trying to help, you should accept that and get over it. It’s time for you to get out of your own head and look around a bit. No reason to get caught up over a stupid race.”
“Yeah, we’ll you’re doing an amazing job!” Dash heard herself yelling now, suddenly wanting to escalate the argument. The fire was clouding her vision now. She had to let it out. To fight something. Anything.
“Why can’t you just stop making this worse for me! I don’t need your stupid ‘help’, or Twilight’s, or Rarity’s. I can take care of myself!”
“Yeah, you don’t want to hear that, do you?” Applejack pushed back in equal measure, tossing her mane in indignation. “The fastest flier in all of Equestria, defeated in a simple qualifying round by a couple of upstarts no pony’s ever heard of. That’s a mighty fine participation ribbon to put on the shelf, ain’t it?”
Anger bleeding into despair, Dash regretted wanting the conversation to continue. This was torture. Who did that pony think she was, bringing up that insulting piece of fabric? It was still in her bag now, its horrible print crushing her pride every time she thought about it.
With one last menacing look, Applejack turned her back on Rainbow and began walking towards the farm without another word. This conversation was over, not nearly in the way Dash had hoped.
Disappointment in her own abilities as well as her mistreatment of her friend began to fuel a rage inside Dash’s mind. Clenching her muscles in rising anger, she threw her muzzle into the bag slung over her back, hunting ferociously for that ribbon. Finding it, she flung the offending item into the dirt.
Much to her disappointment, it landed face up, its gold letters gleaming in the sun.
Participant.
How dare this stupid piece of paper tell her that she had failed, that she wasn’t good enough? How dare it sit there, only slightly dirty, mocking her?
She strangled one end of the ribbon under her hoof, with the other end clenched between her teeth. Pulling with all her might, she felt the sickeningly beautiful sensation of fabric tearing in her jaws. It was absolutely perfect, ripping that stain on her reputation into tiny pieces.
The exertion of pouring every ounce of her tension into the assault left her breathless, standing very much alone at the crossroads in the path over the ripped and torn pieces of her shattered dreams.
__________________________________________________________________
Her bedroom. It haunted her as much as it called to her. The golden rays of the setting sun sauntered in through the window in lazy strides to suspend themselves across the open space. The light didn’t think. It didn’t feel. And yet, the significance of the objects it fell on was not to be discounted. More specifically, the copious wonderbolt memorabilia that adorned the far walls and tables seemed to glow with extra ambiance on this evening in particular.
Shadows slunk and slithered across the walls and floor with the sinking of the sun. An autographed picture of Spitfire fell into darkness as a calendar displaying the wonderbolt’s logo embraced the light. From every poster, the face of one of her heroes looked down at her. Spitfire, Soarin, Fleetfoot. What did their expressions say? Were they disappointed that she had failed? Gleeful that another ignorant hopeful had failed to reach their exclusive club? Completely indifferent to her struggle?
More likely, they were just pictures incapable of any cognitive activity. Dash snapped herself out of her futile revere as she flopped onto her cloud bed. Something about lying down made her more keenly aware of the pain in her joints. She had gone all out today. Put everything she had into achieving a goal, and it hadn’t been enough.
Rolling over to ease a spasm of pain, Dash’s eyes fell on one of the only items around her that didn’t come emblazoned with a wonderbolt emblem. A picture in an ornate frame. A picture of six ponies, working together to help Twilight save Ponyville. The image sent a jolt through Dash’s heart. As if one torment wasn’t enough, here was another reminder, another bringing or despair. Another burden that rested totally on her shoulders. She closed her eyes, she had no choice. Just looking added too much pain. Tomorrow, a lot of things would need to get done, and they wouldn’t be easy. But alone with her thoughts, tomorrow was a distant future compared to the restless night ahead. Dash rolled over again, attempting to embrace a sleep that she knew would never come.
Author's Note
This is the first serious thing I've written in a long, long time. Please give me any constructive criticism, I really appreciate it!
