Prologue: The Highway Brony Sydrome
It was a dark and stormy night — okay it was actually mid-afternoon and the rain had only just started to trickle down, but damn there was a lot of fog today. It was difficult for anyone to see anything through the mist.
Well, except for you of course.
You could see a couple of things further up ahead than most people, it was not a complete picture but it was better than nothing. You always had been an eagle eye and knew just where to look, you’re strange like that. You had your windshield wipers and headlamps turned on though, it’s better to be safe than sorry. But they were not helping much.
A minute ago you were driving along one of California’s national forest roads just outside the city of Los Angeles minding your own businesses, and then the next thing you knew *Bam!* Here, have a nice thick fog for ya, enjoy the rest of your day asswipe!
You sighed. Whatever, at least you got your Limited Edition My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Air Freshener™ dangling on your rear-view mirror. The little thing had the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic logo with all the main six casts of the show, the sun alicorn and even the baby dragon. You might want to get a shorter ball chain though, the air freshener had bopped you on the head about three times already. Stupid thing.
It was so long you bet you could even wear it around your neck if you wanted to. Wait…actually, that might not be a bad idea. You could wear it wherever you go and smell good at the same time. Man, you are a genius. You probably had to tuck the air freshener under your shirt though. You don’t want to attract unwanted attention.
As you were about to place it around your neck, you spotted something outside your front windscreen out of the corner of your eye. You glanced ahead only to spot something colorful and vibrant within the fog. Good thing you had a keen eye or else you might not had seen whatever this was you were approaching.
You unconsciously held the air freshener in your hand and reduced your car’s speed appropriately, keeping a close eye on the road. Within the confines of your mind, you tried to identify this odd complexion within the mist. Was your mind playing tricks on you? Could it be a hobo using a colorful sign on the middle of the road trying to get more attention? Had the Federal Highway Administration finally snapped and decided to replace boring old black and white traffic signs into colorful new ones? No wait, scratch that last one, the Highway Administration had always been like that.
Ah, forget it. You’d find out soon enough. Oh wait, you could actually see her right now.
“Wait, her?” you whispered to yourself.
The car decelerated as your foot lessened the weight on the throttle.
“What in the world…?”
Your foot was barely applying any pressure now.
“No way!”
Both of your feet were firm on the mat.
“No freaking way!”
Your car began to stagger on the tarmac.
“This isn't possible!”
The car was just inches away from her.
"Excuse me universe, what kind of bullshit is this?!"
You involuntary twisted the car keys, turning off the ignition.
“I have finally reached that point of my life, haven’t I?”
The car shook slightly after she stomped on your hood with her purple little furry forearms.
“I’m in my mid-life crisis!” Okay, you were pretty sure you were over exaggerating…maybe.
Never in your life would you find yourself confronting with a fictional character. Especially if the character was a magical talking unicorn named Twilight Sparkle.
The look on her face she gave you was one of utter dread. And the deep pain within her eyes told you she had been treading for many hours through the forest, probably exhausted by now. Well that and the fact that she was nearly covered in dead leaves, dried mud and a couple of cuts and bruises.
“H-help me,” said Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn that shouldn't exist.
You just sat there, unable to process the cartoon pony in front of you.
“I don’t want them to get me.”
You can’t believe this. Was she for real?
“Please, I don’t have much time!” You could see tears forming out of her huge eyes.
You looked down and saw the air freshener clutched within your hand.
You gotta snap out of your trance and help her! You’re probably hallucinating and the pony in front of your car might not be there at all, but you have at least try.
You unbuckled your seatbelt, grabbed your black leather jacket and jumped out of the car as fast as you possibly could. Once outside you could feel the cold air and rain making contact with your exposed parts of your skin. You shuddered, but you sucked it up and started to slowly approach the unicorn.
Suddenly, the murky fog disappeared. You were glad the fog was gone but the surrounding area around you got dimmer. You looked up momentarily and saw dark gray clouds were forming up in the sky.
“Freaky,” you said to yourself.
You turned toward your hood and saw the unicorn had laid her eyes upon you, her pupils dilated into pinpricks.
And then she yelped. “Y-you’re one of them!” she pointed at you as she backed away, “Get away from me!”
Poor thing, she must had met some of the more ‘friendlier locals’ and probably think you’re here to get her as well.
“Whoa there, I’m not going to hurt you.” You bent down and slowly reached your arm out with your jacket, “You’re soaking wet. Here, take my jacket.”
At first she was reluctant, but when the gusts of wind and rain blew over Twilight and you, she accepted your offer by grabbing your leather jacket with her magic and placing it over herself. Then, as if Mother Nature still wanted to prove a point, a sudden brief illumination materialized within the clouds and a loud thunderous noise came afterward. To make things worse, the rain was beginning to fall more heavily.
Now this was just getting creepy. Just two of you alone, standing outside next to your car, heavy rain pouring down, in a dark eerie forest. You could have sworn you’re in some a cheesy horror flick right about now.
You looked upon the sky once more. Something’s wrong with the weather pattern, it shouldn't be like this. It was as if a mystical force was changing the elements itself.
Another forked lightning came out of the clouds. And for a split second, you saw the source of the strange weather anomaly: A silhouette figure of a pegasus lying behind a gray cloud. But that wasn't the biggest concern though.
Maybe you should get a doctor because you could have sworn the pegasus was holding a long sturdy rifle. Then again, you should probably also consider telling the doctor you’d just given your jacket to a purple unicorn. Yeah, you’re going to have a field day after this.
You looked down again once more to see the pony frozen in shock. “What’s wrong…?” you asked. “Is there something in my teeth?”
She shook her head. “B-b-behind you,” she shuttered.
You stood up and turned around, spotting a dozen glowing cyan pairs of eyes within the forestry. What had been seconds felt like hours for you. You did not dare move and in return they observed both you and Twilight in silence. Only the heavy sound of rain hitting the tarmac could be heard.
“Get in the car,” you ordered Twilight. Might not be the best choice of words since she’d undoubtedly not know what a car was, but you knew she was the smartest out of main six. You were confident the mare would figure it out soon enough.
You glanced behind, spotting a motionless Twilight staring into forest on the other side of the road. Okay, maybe she wasn't bright as you thought.
Turning toward the direction where Twilight was facing, you saw six similar blue eyes shimmering within the woods, just like the ones behind you.
Both you and Twilight were now trapped between a rock and a hard place. You had two options now, you could either: 1) Grab the pony and make a run for the car, only to be surrounded moments later. Or 2) Stand still and hope they’ll go away.
Actually you probably could think up more than two, but you’re scared shitless to come up with anything else. Even if you tried, one of them could have sneaked behind you by the time you do.
“Wait a minute…”
You turned around once again.
“Holy kangaroo on a pogo stick!” You nearly jumped in fright.
There it was, two large glowing eyes staring down into your very soul. There was nothing holding them afloat. They were suspended in midair, just a good few feet above the road.
“Step away from the creature,” said the floating orbs.
Then another flash from the clouds briefly illuminated the area around you. When it was over, you could see them clearly now. Well, as clear as you could on a rainy misty day.
The floating blue eyes wasn't eyes that all. They were some kind of night vision goggles. And the goggles weren't floating they were being worn by masked figures in combat overalls. By the look of it these shadowy figures were wearing US military fatigues, but you could not tell which part of the military they were from. Army, National Guard, Marine…you simply could not tell.
You were not sure why they were here, but one thing was for certain was they came here armed to the teeth. Bulletproof vests, assault rifles, light machine guns and holy shit was one of them carrying a portable missile launcher on his shoulder?
The figure in front of you took a step closer, making you retreat a step back. Holy molly, he’s one intimidating dude.
“I said, step away from the creature.” said the figure once more in a feminine tone.
Correction, she’s one very intimidating lady.
She positioned herself into a combat stance and pulled out a rod. “Don’t make me repeat myself!” She then quickly lashed her arm violently, causing the rod to lengthen and reveal its black metallic extension.
You took another step back. “H-hey now, there’s no need to get violent. Can we just grab a pizza or something and talk this over?” You attempted to persuade her.
“No can do,” she replied. “We don’t know what that thing is and what it’s capable of. So I need you to come forward toward us, slowly.”
You turned toward the mare behind you and saw she was shaking her head and mouthed, “Don’t.”
Turning back toward the mysterious woman, you answered her request by shaking your head and said, “I don’t think so.”
“Wha—?” Her reply was cut short when you felt your grip on the wet air freshener loosened. You managed to grab hold onto the ball chain but the air freshener itself was now dangling. “Oh you've got to be shitting me,” she groaned when she saw the swinging My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic air freshener. “How in god’s name you bronies are always the first to find the P-O-Es on the roads, huh? I mean, there are literally hundreds of thousands of people driving on this country and somehow bronies of all people are one the first to find them!”
Okay, you had a slight hint she was a tad bit of a nutcase. But now? Now you knew she was a total lunatic. Who would overreact over something as small as a Pony on Earth fan fiction cliché?
“Look lady,” you said. “I don’t know what you guys want to do with the unicorn, other than fulfilling your childhood dream of owning a pony, but I’m sure as hell not letting you or your buddies hurt her.”
She retracted slightly by your proclamation, “Are you serious, dude?” But she recovered shortly, “Now that’s another weird habit you bronies like to do. Why would you guys protect those little rascals to the point of hurting yourselves? Think about it man, why would you defend a person who doesn't even know you? If the situation was flipped, they’ll probably kick you out of their little funky town even if you didn't try to.”
“Miss, there are two things you should really know right about now. One, I’m not budging from this spot no matter what you do or say.” You positioned yourself in a combat stance of your own, or at least the best you could do was be a meat shield. “And two, you are the most totally insane and jacked up person I have ever met this week, and not in a good way may I add.”
“Well you look at that, a brony with guts and a sense of humor. You don’t see that everyday.” She took another step closer, “And you know what? You’re right, you’re honestly and totally right.” She charged at you with her baton raised. “I am crazy!”
You shut your eyes out of reflex and prepared yourself to become a punching bag. But it didn't came. Next thing you heard was the thump of a baton whacking a solid wall, followed by another wallop and the sounds of rain trickling soon afterward. You opened an eyelid and found yourself in a pink dome, “What the?” you whispered to yourself.
You opened your other eye to see the mad armored figure had been knocked down, most likely by the dome. You then turned around to see Twilight Sparkle had spread her hooves and aimed her glowing horn forward, focusing all her remaining magical might into the shield. “Oh right, you have magic.” You said to her with a smirk, “Thanks.”
Twilight slowly looked up toward you and smiled back, “You’re welcome.”
Suddenly, you heard a loud irritated groan behind you. You spun in the direction of the low noise to see the armored figure slowly getting up. She then mumbled a number of curses as she strolled toward your little safe haven. Once she stopped in front of the dome, she adjusted the dial on her baton with her thumb and proceeded to thrust it into the magical shield without any real effort into the stab itself.
It happened so fast. First, the dome itself was suddenly covered by electrical sparks and flashes. Next you found Twilight curled into a ball, howling in pain. The next thing you knew, you found yourself surrounded by the other mysterious figures, ready to train their rifles on you.
“Now where were we?” the woman said playfully. “Oh yes, something about you saying I was a deranged psychopath?”
“Huh, w-what? Me? No, no, no I d-didn't say that!” You grinned nervously. “I said you’re, um…”
You had to think of something! Something smart, something original, something that will put every charismatic human being on this planet put to shame!
“Have you been working out?”
Oh good god, that was terrible.
“Ramirez,” she said in an irritated tone.
“Ma’am?” someone behind you replied. You turned around to see a shadowy figure taking a few steps closer toward you.
“Flash the brony,” the woman ordered ominously.
“With pleasure, ma’am.” Leveling his rifle, the man shifted his hand toward what appeared to be a tactical flashlight attached to the rifle’s underslung rail and activated the device.
Then the flashes began.
*Flash*
The device emitted repetitive flashes of light, throwing you into blindness, disorientation and overall panic. You instinctively closed your eyes, but the light itself was bright enough to bypass through your eyelids, at least it helped ease the pain though.
*Flash*
But there was something strange going on every time it flashed.
*Flash*
You couldn't figure out how or why, but all you could tell was the longer you gazed into the flashing light you’d lose more and more parts of your memory.
*Flash*
You…
*Flash*
You...
*Flash*
Why were you even here?
*Flash*
Why were you here in California? Driving in the middle of nowhere nonetheless?
*Flash*
You just couldn't— couldn't…remember.
*Flash*
You had to remember, you just had to!
*Flash*
…
*Flash*
Los Angeles, California, United States of America…
*Flash*
Why were you here in America?
*Flash*
Are you even American?
*Flash*
No, you had to stop staring at the flashing light! It's making you forget!
*Fla—*
You forced yourself away from the man and spun around only to see the mysterious figure and her goons had their flickering devices turned on as well.
*Flash*
Oh no…
*Flash*
They were wiping out your memories!
*Flash*
You had to figure out how to get out of this mess. You had to— wait, hold on…
*Flash*
You spotted your car, making you wonder.
*Flash*
Was this even your car?
*Flash*
In the midst of the near blinding chaos, you found Twilight’s entire body suddenly twitching on the road, losing control of her magic and firing a bolt of magic at the car producing a large, gaping hole through the engine.
*Flash*
You hoped it was a rental.
*Flas—*
Out of panic, you turned to the other side of the road only to, once again, get peppered by the same flashing illumination from the man’s device.
*Flash*
You then heard the sound of the other mysterious figures near the man activating their strange devices, tearing down even more parts of your memories.
*Flash*
Why?
*Flash*
Why was this happening to you?
*Flash*
All you wanted was to get to— get to… Great, you couldn't even remember where you wanted to go in the first place!
*Flash*
Just your luck, you’re trapped and was about to lose every moment of your life. This couldn't get any worse.
*Flash*
No, you can’t just give up now! You had to find a way out of this!
*Flash*
Or your name wasn't—
*Flash*
Your name wasn't…
*Flash*
Your name…
*Flash*
No…
*Flash*
No.
*Flash*
NO!
*Flash*
No, no, no!
*Flash*
Oh god, you couldn't remember your name!
*Flash*
These people, whoever they are, were here to cut loose ends even if it left the victims memory-less!
*Flash*
Y-you had to do something!
*Flash*
Your mind was racing, calculating the best options for survival. But it ended up leaving you with only two options.
*Flash*
Fight…
*Flash*
…or…
*Flash*
…flight?
*Flash*
But before you could decide, you heard someone…weeping.
*Flash*
You turned to see a purple— no wait, it was lavender.
*Flash*
Yes, it was a lavender pony.
*Flash*
And she was curled up in a fetal position, crying.
*Flash*
Somewhere inside, you had the sudden impulse to protect her.
*Flash*
You could feel your grip on your air freshener fade away, letting it plummet onto the pavement.
*Flash*
You didn't care if you’re about to lose your memories, all you wanted now was to calm her down.
*Flash*
You got on your knees and had her wrapped in your arms, squeezing and rocking gently. It’s kind of funny to think you were hugging a pony right now. You’re pretty sure if anyone was here with you they’d have their hearts get torn out, but you didn't care nor do you want to. Suddenly, she went limp. You were worried at first but soon found out she had simply fallen asleep by how her chest was moving inward and outwards.
Then you realized something. It stopped, the flashing finally stopped. You heard the sound of someone approaching you. Opening your eyes, you looked up by your side to see the woman standing over you.
All of a sudden, and strangely enough though, you could feel some of your memories coming back. It’s just that, the only memories you could recall was from you driving on the Californian road until…you hugging Twilight Sparkle. Yup, this was officially the strangest day of your entire life. Well, in retrospect, it was only day you could remember.
“I’m sorry, I wish there was another way” she said sincerely, sadness in her voice. “But it has to be done. We can’t leave any chances here.”
She then pulled out a larger than normal sized flashlight from her belt and pointed it at your face. “I hope you’ll understand.”
You’re not exactly sure what the torch would do to you at this point. It could be another harmless flashlight, but from the eyeball tearing you just experienced earlier, you had an idea what will happen next.
You sighed, “Do it.”
“Don’t worry man, just one quick flash and everything will be back to normal. Now, just relax and say cheese—”
“Just do it already!” She jumped back slightly by your outburst, but regained her composure with little haste. “If you’re going to end a person’s entire recollection of their life, just do it quick and without the ‘Everything will be alright’ nonsense, okay?!” You had no idea why you shouted. Maybe you were tired of this and just want to get it over with or maybe it would buy you some time? Who are you kidding? Those kind of things only happened in movies—
“Wait what? Dude, I’m not going to remove your memories completely!”
You stand corrected.
“I’m just going to wipe this past hour.”
Or not.
“Now hold still, I promise you won’t feel a thing.” She said with a sneer, “Well, except for the teeny-tiny headache.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Okay fine, I lied. You’re going to have a migraine.”
Oh and don’t forget the complete and total amnesia afterward! This day could only get better and better, you could feel it. Wait, you should probably tell her that you couldn't recall anything except for the past hour before removing your memories.
“Oh, before you do that—”
“Shush!” she quieted you down. She then pressed the side of her headset, attempting to listen to whoever was in the other end of the signal more clearly.
“Huh?”
Oh boy.
“Huh-uh…”
You didn't like the sound of this.
“Mm-hmm...”
Not at all!
“Okay, I see.”
You better do something before—
“Well, well, well this is your lucky day, brony!” She placed the flashlight back and pulled out a stun gun instead. “You’re coming with us!”
“Whoa, hold on there!” you frantically said, trying to stop her from doing what you think she was doing. “Don’t do it, please don’t! Don’t— d-don’t tase me, bro! Don’t tase me!”
But it was in vain. She trained the electric shock weapon at you and fired, causing you to feel the power of electricity coursing through your body. You fell onto the pavement and did a little spazzing dance like someone would when they were having a stroke.
And then, just like that, you fell into the empty void that was unconsciousness.
Written by WarKing76
Edited by Silver Page
Author's Note
Hello ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present to you the U.S Department of SEE!
This is a very ambitious second person past tense story. Yeah that's right, a story about you in past tense! You don't see many of those in Fimfiction. I mean, it's like meeting a magical talking banana in the city of Atlantis on Mars! Come to think of it, that didn't make any sense...
I also like everyone to know that SEE was inspired by Tales Of The Canterlot Deportation Agency: A Typical Day by Estee. You should check it out!
Chapter 1: The Enrollment Syndrome Part 1
U.S. Department of Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement
Chapter 1: The Enrollment Syndrome Part 1
Written by WarKing76
Edited by Silver Page
You regained consciousness, sensing the world around you. You could feel yourself sitting on something rather solid and chilly. Your best guess was that you were sitting on a metal chair. You could feel the metallic sensation of something restraining both your arms and legs. Again, you presumed you were bounded by handcuffs. The only thing your body could not perceive was the ability of sight.
When you made the effort of opening your eyes all you could see was darkness. You felt the blindfold warped around your head. Recalling the events that took place, the thought of being abducted filled your mind. You wildly struggled in an attempt to remove yourself from the chair but it was all in vain. The sound of footsteps walking toward your direction replaced your sudden panic with anxiety, ending your tussling.
“The brony’s awake,” said a voice.
“Good, let’s begin,” said another.
You could hear one of them walking behind you. You then felt the fabric being untied and tossed away. Finally able to see, what you saw in front of you simply left you baffled.
“A clown?” you said in confusion.
From what you could gather from the remains of your memory, you remembered clowns were suppose be cheerful and smiling, but not this circus entertainer. His expressionless face meant he was either serious or just plain unamused.
Before you could say anything else further, the clown humorlessly sprayed water on your face with his squirting flower. Without warning, you felt the chair and yourself being jerked around by someone behind you.
“Holy Pikachu juggling flaming wheelbarrows!” you shouted in fright.
“Where are they?!” said the man dressed as Batman. Was he alright? He sounded like he was gargling marbles. And they? The only people you could remember in your short near memory-less life was those creeps coming out the forest and a purple pony unicorn.
Detesting your silence, Batman spun you around once again, making you face the deadpanned clown. The clown then nonchalantly squirted your good old pal H2O all over your face. As you were attempting to wipe your drenched face with your cuffed hands, the man swiveled you around to confront you.
“Where are they?!” he repeated.
“I can’t remember!” you shouted back.
He then did the same routine on you again. He spun the chair, the clown shot a jet of liquid on your pretty face and then the bat-freak spun the chair again just to shout you in the face with his very own spittle.
“Where are they?!”
“I’m telling you! I can’t remember, okay?!” you barked. “All I remember was driving outside the city, stopping to help a freaking unicorn on the road, get surrounded by psychos who wanted said unicorn and then get my memory nearly wiped by the very same people!
“Oh, don’t forget. After all of that, I woke up tied by two insane maniacs dressed as a clown and Batman, torturing me with a squirting flower! All of this happening possibly under one of your mother’s basement!”
Leaning closer, Batman’s face was now inches away from yours, glaring at you with his eyes squinted. “Touché,” he whispered harshly at you.
You then heard the door behind swig open and someone walking in.
“Oh man,” a familiar feminine voice said, “that was hilarious!”
Batman then spun you around, hopefully, for the last time. You could now see the woman walking toward you with a cocky grin.
From where you were sitting, she looked like she was as tall as your average man. The combat gear she was wearing made it hard to tell what kind of physique she had. Average maybe? The way she was wearing it though made it looked like she could intimate the two clowns here… Okay, in retrospect, there’s an actual clown in the room with you but you knew the point.
Her blond hair, which was tied behind into a loose and messy bun, was sweaty, dirty and overall smelly. You swore you could smell it from where you were sitting.
And her eyes, oh man, her eyes were simply an oddity to you. Her eyes had different pigments, one eye was blue while the other was green. There was a word for it but you could not recall. What was it? Hetro…hetroce-something. Gah! Everything was too blurry for you! Why couldn't you remember?!
“Good job you two, I love it when bronies getting all quaky.” The woman said with a hint of glee.
Oh right, that's because she was the one who nearly wiped your memories.
“Great, can I take this thing off now?” said the clown.
“Shut it, boot!” she ordered the clown. “You’re ruining the moment.”
Batman then came up from behind, stood next to the clown and gripped his shoulder. “She’s right Kelly, have fun while it last. It’s not like we do this everyday. And who knows, the guys might stop hazing you once the brony pass initiation.”
“If the brony passes initiation, you mean?” The woman retorted. “And don’t forget, the brony hasn't decided whether to join us or not. Even once this is over, you’re still a boot. We have the right to haze you whenever we want.”
“With all due respect,” said the clown angrily, “up yours.”
“Kelly…” she snapped.
“Up yours, ma’am.”
“That’s better, you’re dismissed gentlemen.”
Batman saluted and was the first to leave, but Kelly the Clown on the other hand simply walked out the room and gave the woman the finger. The armored figure simply rolled her eyes and said, “Boots, I’m I right?”
“Um, boots?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.
“New guys, rookies, what-the-effs they’re called.” She spun around and walked toward you with a key in hand. “Now hold still, I gotta unlock those cuffs.”
“What makes you think I won’t bust your face in and escape once you free me?” That might not be the smartest thing you had said but you felt a tad bit pissed off after what the woman and her little associates had done to you.
She took a knee in front of you and looked you right in the eye, “I got a feeling you might say that.”
Right on cue, a large figure stepped into the room. He was outfitted with the same uniform and webbing as the woman was, except for his donned helmet and balaclava. Once he cranked his neck toward you, the large man cracked his knuckles.
For the second time in your life, you wondered if you picked the right choice of words.
Author's Note
Alright folks, here's the deal: I'll be making every new chapter within only 1,000 up to 1,200 words. Why you may ask? Well since I'm a slow writer and I like to stop at a certain point of the story before posting the chapter, it takes forever for me to update. So I'm just going to set a limit for myself, that way I can upload chapters more frequently and put less burden on myself.
In other news, I made me self some custom horizontal rule line thingamajigs! Pretty neat, huh?
Awesome!
Right, so some of you may notice a certain someone in the story, and I'm not going to tell who (unless, of course, if you were to look at the new 'Update Box' below) or how he got there (I asked him if he wanted a cameo) but he did say he would like to see more of himself later on in the story. So expect a little bit more of him later on (maybe).
Tags Added: Random
Special Guest: ~~Kelly the Clown~~ Machine Gun Kelly
Chapter 2: The Enrollment Syndrome Part 2
U.S. Department of Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement
Chapter 2: The Enrollment Syndrome Part 2
Written by WarKing76
Edited by Silver Page
Yup, you were definitely sure you chose the wrong words.
After the woman got your legs unbounded, the large man pulled you off chair and tossed you out of the room, landing face first onto the flooring. You were now groaning in pain, tasting bitter defeat. And to some extent, the floor.
“Thanks, Ramirez.”
“Ma’am,” Ramirez acknowledged.
Now she was really pushing your buttons. Who does she think she was? If you weren’t cuffed right now you’d—
“What is the meaning of this?!” You heard someone shouted in front of you.
No, really, it was not as if someone was standing above you. You literally heard someone shouted in your face at ground level. You raised your head and found yourself staring at Rarity, the Element of Generosity.
A very, very small Rarity.
She was so little you bet you could even fit her in your palm. Save for her size, there was no other physical differences you could see. She had the same amethyst purple and curly style mane, cool grey-white fur, crystal blue eyes and her three diamond cutie mark from the show. What she was wearing was a totally different story. She wore a violet red sweater, a black military beret laid on top of her head, teeny-tiny black gloves covered her hooves and a barely noticeable see-through band encircled her horn.
“Sergeant Williams! You of all people should know the procedures of recruiting new members into our ranks,” said the tiny Rarity. “Do you even know how many regulations you had breached?!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Relax, will you?” She squatted and looked down at the teeny-tiny Rarity. “Nobody needs to know, okay? It’s just a little prank.”
You could feel the Rarity’s anger radiating at this point. “Just a little prank?!” she reiterated with venom in her tone. “Preposterous, simply preposterous! Why do I have to deal such negligence from a hooligan who does not even follow the simplest of protocols?”
“Aw, that’s because you love me Marshmellow,” the woman teased as she rose up.
“Why you—!”
“Ma’am,” Ramirez interrupted.
The tiny Rarity and the woman faced toward the armored figure. “Ma’ams,” he corrected, “is this really the best time?” He gestured toward you.
“The guy has a point, you know,” you uttered. “As much as I love listening to you two chit-chat, I prefer not doing it on floor.”
The tiny Rarity cleared her throat. “Yes, very well then.”
“Up and at ‘em.” The armored woman pulled you up and brushed the dust off your shoulder. You took this opportunity to observe your surroundings. You looked around and found yourself along a gloomy hallway, a couple of metal doors were along the way with a few fully armed guards standing beside them and plenty of hidden cameras—you could see them thanks to your near perfect perception—were along the ceiling. Wherever you are, this place must have people and eyes everywhere.
“Before we continue,” you said as the woman unlocked your cuffs, “I would really like to know why am I looking at a miniature Rarity.”
“Ah yes, I know this may be rather…baffling.” Rarity trotted her way toward Ramirez. “But I assure you, we will bring you up to speed.”
“Marshmallow here is from another dimension where ponies are tiny as fuck; you are about to be initiated into the Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement—or SEE for short—which primary objective is to police extradimensional actives and if we don’t everyone on this planet will die,” the woman bluntly said it all under one setting.
You blinked and simply stared at her in confusion.
“Sergeant!” Mini-Rarity exclaimed as she was steadily lifted by the large man and placed on his shoulder.
“What? You wanted speed, right? Well here ya go, fast and simple.”
“It may be so, but there is a great deal of details we need to discuss to the young recruit.”
“Alright fine, whatever.”
The woman—Sergeant Williams, was it? Nah, you’ll just call her La Madam Cranky Pants the Pain in the Butt—began walking down the narrow hall and signaled you to follow. You looked behind and saw the muscular man—Fat Man, you were definitely going to call him Fat Man—glaring at you, waiting for you to move onward. Meanwhile, the little Rarity merely gave you a reassuring smile. Complying, you marched along the hallway between Cranky Pants and Fat Man.
“So, where am I exactly?” you asked.
“Can’t tell you that, brony. Not until you pass initiation,” said Madam Cranky Pants.
You could feel Rarity scowling toward Cranky Pants behind you. “Please, forgive the sergeant’s vulgar personality. What she meant was we are not allowed to disclose our facility’s location due to many security reasons, but we can guarantee that you are still in California and you will be informed about the subject once you are employed into our services.”
“And what’s with the brony deal?” You continued with your questions.
“Brony, pegasister, fat geek watching a girl’s cartoon show about ponies. What’s the difference? They’re all the same to us.”
“They’re all the same to you, sergeant,” Rarity responded. “They are still people, and people—”
The sergeant looked back at Rarity, boredom plastered on her face. “Have feelings and should be rocked gently from side to side in their mother’s arms. Yeah, yeah I heard ya.” She mocked as you passed a saluting guard.
You looked back at the guard clasping his automatic rifle. “Who are you people?”
“Oh pardon me,” Rarity politely excused herself, “I am Lieutenant Nadira—”
“Also known as Marshmallow.”
“—the hooligan standing before you is Sergeant First Class Williams, and the strapping young man presently carrying me is Corporal Ramirez.”
Fatman greeted you by tipping the brim of his combat helmet.
“Nadira? Aren’t you Rarity from the show?”
“Ah yes, I will explain about it more shortly. In the meantime, let’s just say I changed my name due to…inconveniences.”
“It’s great to meet you at least, unlike some people I know.” You glared at the sergeant for a split second before returning to Rarity. “But that wasn’t what I meant. Who are you people, exactly? SEE, was it?”
“US Department of Strategic Extradimensional Enforcement, yes,” Rarity confirmed. “We specialize in containing extradimensional anomalies, operating under the jurisdiction of the Department of Defense.”
From what she just told you, it was obvious—in a nutshell—they were government spooks… That or they were bunch of nut jobs with a tiny pony.
“Well that’s great and I’m sure you people do a fine job doing what you do,” you said with a sly smirk, “but I rather go home and figure out who I was before the little incident I had with Cranky—I mean, ugh, Sergeant Williams.”
The Sergeant halted, stopping both you and Fat Man. “Oh yeah…about that…”
Oh boy, that did not sound good at all.
“What did you do?” you replied.
She scratched the back of her neck. “You see… It’s about your car—”
“What happened to my car?!” you interrupted her.
“Well…”
Author's Note
Hey guys, remember the time I said I wouldn't go overboard and write until I feel like it's enough?
Yeah...
Well...
I may have...
Wrote more then I should.
Heck, I thought I would write down this first half of this chapter in under 700 words. At least I've finished half of the Enrollment Syndrome arc, right?
Minor fixes to previous chapters
