Anniversary Mayhem

by Jarkes

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Romance, Shining Armor
Length: 4247

The mane six throw an anniversary party for Shining Armor and Cadance. Things get really crazy really quickly.

Twilight and her friends have been tasked with helping Shining Armor and Cadance hold their 1-year anniversary party. Twilight, in particular, has been tasked with organizing the event and making sure everything goes smoothly. There is absolutely no way this can wrong, right?

...Oh, and Rainbow Dash's father was the previous Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard before Shining Armor took the position. And she also has an older sister in the Wonderbolts that she never talked about. Yes, really. It's complicated.

But seriously, there is absolutely no way whatsoever that anything will go wrong.

EDIT 3/4/14: Sweet, I'm in the Popular Stories sidebar! Awesome! ...And wow. That's a lot of groups this was added into. I'm particularly surprised at the group called "Oh god! The Feels!" I was certainly planning on having some feels at some point, but I'm nowhere near that point yet.

EDIT: 6/24/14 Changed the rating to Teen and added the "Romance" category. So whoever added it to the "Everyone Rated Stories Group" should probably remove it from there.

Published 2014-03-03 23:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-08 21:21:20 UTC

Unexpected

Princess Twilight Sparkle had faced all sorts of danger since she had moved to Ponyville several years ago: she had defeated and helped reform two mad deities, faced down an Ursa Minor in a display of raw power, became an alicorn princess, and survived public humiliation at two major parties in Canterlot without any of it really phasing her.

But the letter she received from the Crystal Empire Saturday morning from her B.B.B.F.F. (that’s Big Brother Best Friend Forever), Shining Armor, terrified her more than any of those incidents. It read thusly:

Hey, Twily. Cadance and I are celebrating our first anniversary soon, and we’d like you and your friends to help us with the party preparations, like you did with our wedding. Don’t worry, there’s no unknown threat against the Empire this time. I’ll be picking you and your friends up in Ponyville in my special chariot at precisely 10:00 AM this Tuesday. I can’t wait to see you.

Your B.B.B.F.F.,

Shining Armor

P.S. We’ll be stopping in Cloudsdale to pick up an old friend of mine before heading to the Empire, so make sure to apply that cloud-walking spell on your non-pegasus friends ahead of time.

P.P.S. Tell Spike that Cadance and I have told our finest chefs to make a special jewel cake for him as thanks for everything he's done for the Crystal Empire.

Now Twilight, her friends, Spike, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were waiting in Ponyville’s town square for Shining Armor’s arrival. It was now 10:05 Tuesday morning, and he still had not arrived yet. Twilight was taking it well, if you can call panicking taking it well.

“Darling, I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason why your brother is late,” Rarity assured her.

“You don’t get it, Rarity!” Twilight said. “He’s NEVER late. Ever. The only logical reason why he would be late is if something really bad happened. What if the pegasi pulling his chariot injured themselves? What if he was attacked by some monster, like a hydra, or changelings?”

“Um, I’m sure he could take care of himself if he was attacked…” Fluttershy whispered.

“And his chariot is probably one of those super chariots that don’t need pegasi to pull them and just has some kind of propulsion system that runs on rainbow water,” Pinkie Pie rambled.

“And how do figure that, Pinkie?” Twilight deadpanned.

“Probably because he just got here,” Spike said, pointing a claw in the opposite direction Twilight was facing. Twilight turned around, and sure enough, her brother was standing in front of a rather large chariot made of gold crystals. The chariot looked big enough to hold 30 ponies, with several rows of comfortable looking red seating. The front seat had lots of complicated looking buttons and flashing lights, as well as a cleverly designed steering wheel that had enclosed gaps in the handles to allow earth ponies or pegasi to steer. The exterior looked like a golden, crystallized dragon, with the wings serving as the twin engines in the back, the legs appearing as the landing gear, and the fearsome head adorning the front. The name Crystallux was emblazoned on the back of the chariot.

“Twily!” Shining Armor beamed as he trotted towards his sister. “Sorry I’m late. I… kind of overslept… You weren’t freaking out or anything, were you?”

Twilight smiled. “Maybe just a little…”

“A little?” Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up between them, chattering excitedly like she always did. “You were freaking out more than the Smartypants incident.”

Shining Armor raised an eyebrow at that. “‘Smartypants incident?’”

Twilight blushed. “It’s… a long story…” She smiled. “But whatever. It’s so good to see you again, Shiny!” She was then interrupted by Rainbow Dash, who was admiring Shining’s ride.

“Wow... This thing is just AWESOME!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, eyes gleaming at the sight.

“It is, isn’t it?” Shining Armor responded. “It’s called the Crystallux. The Crystal Ponies built it for Cadance and me so that we could travel back and forth between the Empire, Canterlot and Ponyville more easily. After the incident with Tirek, we figured it would be helpful to be able to travel quickly in case of an emergency. It can seat up to 30 ponies, and change its size to accommodate that many. Those engines run on pure rainbow water imported straight from Cloudsdale. Speaking of which,” he turned his head to look at Twilight. “Twily, did you apply the cloud-walking spell already?”

“It’s all been taken care of, Shining,” Twilight said. “So who’s this friend of yours we’re picking up?”

“Prism Flash,” Rainbow Dash answered for Shining Armor, who gave her an odd look as if he was just realizing something.

Twilight was nonplussed. “How do you know that?”

Rainbow Dash smiled sheepishly, an unusual action for the confident pegasus. “Well, he IS my dad and all, so I may have gotten a letter from him yesterday telling me that he was going to be at the anniversary party…”

Twilight turned to her brother, who was trying really hard not to laugh. “Did you know this connection?” she demanded.

Shining Armor gave his trademark grin. “Well, I figured Rainbow Dash was Prism’s daughter, since they look so much alike…”'

“I do not…” Rainbow Dash huffed.

Shining continued talking, ignoring Rainbow Dash. “But I didn’t really have any confirmation until now. Prism and I go way back. He was actually captain of the royal guard before me. But rather than just stand around talking about it, let’s just get to it now, shall we? Climb aboard.” He headed back to the front seat of the Crystallux while the other nine ponies and one baby dragon began climbing aboard.

“I can’t believe we’re getting to see the Crystal Empire again so soon after last time!” Sweetie Belle squealed. "Maybe this time we'll get to see even more of the Empire!"

“All right, this is your Captain speaking,” Shining Armor imitated one of those old-time pilots. “Please keep your hooves and wings inside the vehicle at all times, and keep your seatbelts fastened until we have reached our destination. We thank you for boarding Air Crystal.”

“…Was that really necessary?” Twilight asked her brother.

“…Yes,” Shining grinned sheepishly while making that odd squeaking sound that ponies tend to make when experiencing certain emotions (usually embarrassment or barely contained excitement). He flipped a few switches with his magic, and the engine roared to life as they headed on their way. As it began soaring through the sky, he asked a simple question. "So what's this I hear about a 'Smartypants Incident?'"

Twilight paled. "Oh no..."

Author's Note

So I start writing this in July of last year, intended as a celebration of the 1-year anniversary of my two favorite characters of the show, and by the time I finally get the first chapter finished, which isn't even all that long, it's almost the 2-year anniversary of those characters. Go figure.

But whatever. Here you see part of my headcanon about Rainbow Dash's family. In the next chapter, you'll see even more. Here's a hint: it involves characters from G1. This may seem pointless, given what the primary plot of this story is, but Rainbow Dash and her family provide a pretty important subplot. Possibly two subplots. I still haven't decided whether I want to include one particular subplot involving Rainbow Dash's father.

Hopefully the next chapter won't take nearly as long to write.

A Big Surprise

-o-Anniversary Mayhem-o-
-o-Chapter 2-o-
-o-A Big Surprise-o-

As the entourage of ponies reached Cloudsdale (Shining Armor had put the Crystallux on autopilot early on, so he could talk to the others more easily), Twilight Sparkle was fervently wishing she had learned a “mute my surroundings” spell. That way, she wouldn’t have had to listen to her brother and friends trade embarrassing stories about her on the whole trip.

“…And that’s why Twilight can never have alcohol,” Shining Armor finished his story.

“…Darn it, Shining, what about the pineapple?” Pinkie Pie suddenly asked. “Why am I the only one who cares about the pineapple?”

Shining thought for a moment. “You know, we never DID figure out where the pineapple came from…”

Twilight decided it was time to change the subject. “So, Rainbow Dash, about your parents. I don’t think I’ve ever met them. What are they like?”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “Wait, you’ve never met them? Everypony else here has…” She grinned. “Well, you already know about my dad, Prism Flash, and how he was in the Royal Guard… He ended up retiring as Captain about ten years ago after he broke his wing in a training exercise with some new recruits. It wasn’t one of those ‘never fly again’ scenarios, though; he was already planning to retire at that point. The accident just hastened his retirement.” She laughed. “Y’know, I never would’ve expected that my dad and your brother knew each other. Though now that I think about it, he DID mention a unicorn colt that gave him a lot of trouble in his last couple years. My mom, Firefly, always joked that that particular colt was probably an ulterior motive for his retirement.”

Shining Armor pretended that he didn’t hear the last part of Rainbow Dash’s explanation. “So, Dash, I was hoping to park this right outside your parents’ house,” he said as a sign labeled “Wind Whistler Whisps” came into view. “What street is it on?”

“Better put the brakes on now,” she replied. “It’s the first house in the neighborhood.”

“Got it,” Shining noted as he switched back to manual, slowed down the engines and brought the chariot to a halt. Rainbow Dash’s parents’ house was a typical Cloudsdale home: A two-story house with Romane-style architecture enchanted with pegasus magic to sit on clouds despite its huge mass. The front door was just a few feet away from where Shining parked the chariot.

Twilight, her friends, and Shining Armor got out of the chariot, the cloud-walking spell allowing the non-winged ponies to walk on the clouds with no difficulty. Shining Armor knocked on the door, and a pink pegasus mare with violet eyes and a blue mane and tail styled identically to Rainbow Dash’s opened it, smiling.

“Sparky! How lovely to see you!” she addressed Shining, who blushed at the nickname. “We weren’t expecting you all to arrive until the afternoon! Did you actually get out of bed on time or something?”

“I’ve gotten a lot better about that, Firefly,” Shining replied.

Twilight looked at him. “ ‘Sparky?’” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“It’s… a long story,” Shining answered.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash pushed the two out of the way and gave Firefly a big hug, surprising Twilight, who rarely saw Rainbow Dash show such affection towards anypony.

“It’s so good to see you, Mom!” Rainbow said, her smile widening.

“Good to see you too, Dashie,” Firefly replied, smiling back at her daughter. Then she adopted a serious expression. “Have you been behaving yourself in Ponyville? Keeping up your flight practice? Changing your-”

“MOOOOM!” Dash yelled, blushing.

Applejack was struggling not to laugh. “Oh, she’s been no trouble at all. After all, she’s got all of us to keep her in line, doesn’t she?” She gestured at her other friends, who nodded. “Nice to see you again, Ms. Firefly.”

Firefly nodded. “Indeed it is.” She then looked at Twilight, and gave an exaggerated bow. “And you must be Twilight Sparkle—or should I say, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash talks about you in her letters all the time, but I believe this is the first time we’ve ever actually met. It is an honor to meet you, Your Highness.”

Twilight blushed. Even though she had recently gained her own castle and the title of “Princess of Friendship,” she still had a little trouble with ponies addressing her as such. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. And please, before I was a princess, I was simply Rainbow Dash’s friend. Just Twilight will do.”

“Understood, Just Twilight!” Firefly joked, winking at her and lifting her hoof to her forehead in mock salute. “Anyway, you should all come in. I’m sure it’s not every day that half of you get to see the inside of a pegasus home.”

The inside of the house was much simpler than the exterior suggested. As it turned out, there was only one floor, though Twilight noticed that it seemed to be rather large anyway. In the living room where they entered, she noticed an indigo pegasus stallion with a rainbow mane nearly identical to that of Rainbow Dash’s closing up a suitcase.

That must be her father, Twilight thought. I can definitely see the resemblance. She walked up to him, saying, “You must be Rainbow’s father, Prism Flash. I’m--”

“I know who you are,” he interrupted her, looking up at her with his violet eyes. His voice sounded very deep and calm, like he had seen so many unusual things that nothing fazed him anymore. “You’re Sparky’s sister and Dashie’s friend, Twilight Sparkle, aren’t you?” He smiled warmly. “Still can’t believe that I’ve met all of my daughter’s friends except you. Well, until today, anyway…”

Twilight smiled back. “Yeah, funny how that works. Sometimes you have a special connection to your friends even before you’ve met them. Though THIS is one I never would have expected.” She laughed. “Heck, next you’ll be telling me she has an older sister in the Wonderbolts! Wouldn’t THAT be a surprise?”

“Did somepony say… SURPRISE!” a new voice came, and Twilight suddenly found herself hit by a white and yellow blur and knocked on the ground. She looked up and discovered the source: a white pegasus mare with a short yellow mane and purple eyes. Three purple balloons adorned her flank, and she had a huge grin on her face.

“Hiya! You must be Princess…” the new arrival frowned, tapping her chin. “What did Dashie say your name was? …Oh yeah! Twilight Sparkle, right? Wow, I don’t believe it! Never would’ve thought my little sis would become friends with a princess. Then again, three years ago I never would’ve expected her to help save Equestria multiple times—has it been five times or six times now? I lost count—but then again… Oh I almost forgot! I’m Surprise! Nice to meet you!” She held out a hoof.

Mother of McCarthy, it’s a pegasus version of Pinkie Pie… Twilight thought as she dusted herself off. “Nice to meet you, Su—” she was cut off when she grabbed Surprise’s hoof and suddenly felt a small jolt course through her body.

“Hah!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “The old joy buzzer! Classic one, sis!” She gave a hoofbump to her sister, being careful to make sure she went for the hoof without the buzzer.

“Yeah…” Twilight muttered. Her eyes widened. “Wait, Surprise? The Surprise? The youngest pegasus to ever graduate from the Wonderbolt Academy?”

“Yeah, that’s her all right!” Rainbow Dash said, grinning like a schoolfilly. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“I don’t get it, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. “I’ve known you for, what, three years now? How come you never told me you had a somewhat famous older sibling until now?”

Silence filled the room as all of her friends stared at her.

“…Really?” Dash said, her voice almost deadpan.

“Uh, Twilight?” Applejack said. “You’re… not exactly one to talk there. You didn’t exactly talk about YOUR older brother all that much before he got married.”

“Wait, what?” Shining Armor asked. “What do you mean she never—”

“ANYWAY!” Twilight nearly shouted. “We should probably start heading to the Empire. We don’t want to keep Cadance waiting too much longer.”

“I’ll say!” Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up next to her despite have been several feet away moments before. “It feels like it’s been way, WAY longer than just a couple hours!”

“I know, right?” Surprise said. “I feel like I’ve already known all you girls for months now!” The two of them both laughed.

“I had a feeling you two would get along great,” Rainbow Dash said. “But Twilight’s right. We should get back to that crystal dragon thingy Shining has and get going.”

“What took you guys so long?” Scootaloo complained as Shining, Twilight, and the rest of them got back into the Crystallux.

“Oh, we just got caught up in introductions, squirt,” Rainbow Dash said, patting her on the head.

“Ooh, is this that Scootaloo filly you’re always talking about?” Surprise sat next to them in the chariot, which had now widened slightly to accommodate the three additional passengers. “I’m Surprise. I’m Rainbow Dash’s older sister! And if you’re her honorary little sister, then I guess that makes you MY little sister too!”

Scootaloo got starry-eyed. “Cool!”

Shining Armor started the engines. “This trip will take a little bit longer, so why don’t Prism and I share a few stories on the way?”

Prism grinned. “Oh, I’ve got plenty of stories to share… I think I’ll start with the story of the Twistornado Technique. See, I was giving Shining a training exercise…”

Author's Note

That took even LONGER than the first chapter. I swear I will at least get the next chapter out by the end of this year, hopefully sooner.

Anyway, next chapter they'll arrive in the Crystal Empire and we'll meet up with Cadance. It will also establish one of the subplots I've got planned.

Arrival

As the Crystal Empire came into view, Prism Flash and Shining Armor had just finished telling the others about one of the adventures they had been on back when Prism was still in the Royal Guard.

“…And that’s how we defeated the dandelion ninjas,” Shining said as he brought the Crystallux into the landing zone near the train station. “Good times, eh, Prism?”

“Yeah,” Prism replied, smiling. “Of course, that’s far from the craziest adventure we ever had. There was that one time we faced some ‘disciple of Discord’ or whatever he called himself…”

Shining frowned. “I thought we agreed never to speak of that one again…”

Prism shrugged. “I don’t even remember how that one ended, anyway,” he said.

“Fascinating,” Twilight said, putting her hoof to her chin. “I’ve heard stories about pegasi who could externalize their weather magic and use it like unicorn magic, but I heard that the last pegasus to have such an ability lived 200 years ago…”

“Yeah, Dad came up with a lot of awesome techniques that uses his ability for offensive combat,” Rainbow Dash said. “He calls them ‘Invocations’.”

“Ooh, ooh!” Surprise exclaimed. “Dashie, remember that time you were really sick, and Dad organized a whole cheerleading squad and used his Spark-Quake technique to create a “Get Well Soon” message that you could see from your hospital room window?”

“Heh, how could I forget that?” Rainbow Dash replied, chuckling at the memory. “It was almost worth getting sick just to see both Mom and Dad in cheerleader outfits. We might still have some pictures…”

“Sounds like you guys are pretty close,” Shining said, bringing the chariot to a stop. “Well, we’re here. Now where’s Cadance? I told her to meet us here at 12:00…”

“Well, then it looks like I got here just in time,” a voice came from above as Cadance flew down to meet them. She smiled at Shining. “Good to see you’re all here in one piece. Weird stuff tends to follow Shining Armor like a magnet.”

“Yeah, everything went smoothly,” Shining said. “No gas leaks, no crashes, no need to use the Crystallux’s weapon system to defend against vicious monsters…”

“…Wait, what was that last one?” Twilight asked.

“No crashes,” Shining said immediately.

Twilight shrugged and looked at her old foalsitter. “Hey… I know I’m a princess now, but can we still…”

Cadance smiled. “Of course, Twilight,” she responded, and the two began their old foalhood rhyme and dance:

”Sunshine sunshine,

Ladybugs awake!

Clap your hooves

And do a little shake!

The ponies watching had mixed reactions to this.

“No matter how many times I see it, it’s still very sweet,” Applejack said.

“AAAAAAAAW!” Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Surprise cooed, since they had never seen it before. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, had a different reaction.

“Bleh,” Scootaloo groaned. “That’s got to be the sappiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Tell me about it,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “I mean, my sister and I are close and all, but you’d never catch me doing something like that even with her.”

“Now, now Dashie, don’t lie,” Surprise chastised her. “We had our own little rhyme when we were younger. Don’t you remember? ‘Little cloud, little cloud, don’t you cry. Lift yourself up and soar through the sky!’”

“Right… heh,” Dash said. “I… guess I forgot.” As the two sisters reminisced, Twilight and Cadance finished catching up.

“So this… Starlight Glimmer… she’s your student now?” Cadance asked.

“Yeah,” Twilight replied. “I invited her to come to the party so she could meet the two of you, but she won’t be here for another day or two.”

“Now that most of us are here,” Prism said, looking at everypony present, “I have a very important question to ask our esteemed host, Princess Cadance. …Pause for dramatic effect…” He took a deep breath. “What’s for lunch? I’ve been looking forward to see what the food is like in the Crystal Empire.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, Prism,” Cadance said, chuckling. “But I hear you loud and clear.”

“Wait!” Rainbow Dash suddenly exclaimed. “Do you hear him… crystal clear?”

Silence.

Prism suddenly burst out laughing. “Ha! ‘Crystal clear’… good one, Dashie!”

“I’ve been waiting for an excuse to use that one,” Dash replied, giving her dad a hoofbump.

“…Yep, you are definitely related,” Shining deadpanned.

After they had lunch, Shining and Cadance started going over the guest list.

“Let’s see here… Prism’s family, the Lulamoons, the Riches, and the Argents have already arrived, Love Tap and her son should be arriving later today, and Flash Sentry said that he invited his sister and his two brothers but they won’t get here until Thursday,” Cadance listed off a few names.

“Don’t forget Maud Pie, the other Wonderbolts, Cheese Sandwich, Cheerilee, the Oranges, and all those other guests whose names escape me at the moment,” Shining Armor reminded her. “And then there’s the rest of my old unit, but they should be here tomorrow evening at the latest.”

Prism smiled. “It sure has been a while since I’ve seen the rest of the old gang… I wonder how Azure Blade, Minty Wintergreen, and Flare Striker are doing…”

Shining grinned. “You’ll never believe this, but Azure and Minty got married!”

“Really?” Prism asked in mock surprise. “I never would’ve seen that coming. Then again, those two were about as subtle as you and Cadance were back then.”

Shining smiled. “Yeah, even I still can’t believe it sometimes.” He nuzzled his wife. “But then I look at her and remember that everything worked out in the end.”

“Minty Wintergreen… Hmm…” Pinkie mused. Then she shrugged. “Eh, Minty’s a pretty common name. She’s probably not the one I’m thinking of.”

“Now hold on a sec,” Applejack said, frowning. “Today’s April 2nd, right? Your anniversary’s not until the 21st…”

Shining Armor nodded. “Yeah, I figured Twilight would be able to plan things out better if she got here a few weeks early. I just hope she doesn’t try to overdo it…”

Twilight laughed. “Oh, please, Shiny, when have I ever overdone anything?”

Everypony stared at her.

“…Okay, maybe a few times. But I can assure you, this will be the best anniversary party the two of you could hope for, and absolutely nothing will go wrong whatsoever.”

As they headed to the town square, Pinkie shuddered, and her mane became even curlier than usual for about a second before going back to normal. “Uh-oh, that was my ‘tempting fate’ Pinkie Sense…” she mused. “Something tells me that that these next few weeks are going to get really, REALLY crazy, even for me… I just hope that these next few weeks don’t feel like they took several years like these past few hours did…”

“…Pinkie, who are you talking to?” Cadance asked.

“…It’s complicated. You probably wouldn’t understand,” Pinkie said, unusually serious.

“Word of advice, Cadance: don’t try to understand Pinkie Pie,” Twilight told her. “Just… trust me on this one.” Suddenly they heard Rainbow Dash shout, which wasn’t hard since they were all still in close proximity to each other. She pointed to the town square, where a familiar blue unicorn with violet eyes and a distinctive hat and cloak was standing on a stage, clearly just about to make a big presentation.

“What the hay is SHE doing here?”

Author's Note

Oh, hey, look, I finally updated. And I end it on a cliffhanger. Mwahaha.

Yeah, this chapter went heavy rewrites. As you can see, I ultimately decided to incorporate most of season 5 into this story. I don't think I'll have to re-edit the first two chapters to mention things like the CMC's cutie marks, though; there wasn't really a need to bring them up before anyway.

See you in another year and a half. ...Not really. I've finally got some decent inspiration for this story, especially since I cut some of the unnecessary subplots. So I should hopefully have another chapter fairly soon, but no promises this time.

...I wonder if anyone's going to get the specific reference I was making with Prism Flash's abilities...