The Happy Adventuring Saga: The Bonus Chapters

by Pennington Inkwell

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Adventure, Discord, Crossover
Length: 15195

Sometimes I get bored, okay? And holidays won't just celebrate themselves! Just general silliness for the sake of entertainment, not at all canon to the remainder of my stories.

Sometimes, I have a brilliant or hilarious idea that I need to write out immediately. Sometimes, a particularly potent holiday comes around that I feel the need to celebrate.

Sometimes, I just get bored.

Thus, the genre of short stories known as "Bonus Chapters" emerged. Not canon to the show or the rest of my stories, written either on a whim, out of inspired comedy, or even as dictated by a vote from my followers.

Now, for the sake of tone, pacing, and the sanity of my readers, I have removed those chapters from their native habitat and placed them all here. This is where they can be safely observed as they were meant to be: from a distance, with little to no context, and purely at the whim of the reader.

Let those who enter beware: canon and fanon mean nothing here. Precedent is unprecedented.

*In all seriousness, the only context you might need here is some knowledge of the OC's identities and backgrounds, which you can get from reading the other assorted stories. Aside from this, don't worry. If you're confused, that is perfectly normal. But these bonus chapters were beginning to seriously detract from my other stories.*

Published 2014-03-04 05:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-07 12:32:05 UTC

Hearts and Hooves Day Special: Whipcord

A quick note! This chapter contains a couple of spoilers for both "Brothers" and "Daughter of Chaos." And a little raunchy humor. Feel free to skip it if you're opposed to either of these, it's COMPLETLY irrelevant to the storyline.

"So... You're free now?" Whipstitch sidled up to the draconequus, her tail flicking slyly back and forth.

"Well, I suppose you could say that, though I'm apparently bound to what you ponies think is 'right and wrong.'" Discord replied, looking down towards her with a smile.

"Well, I suppose that a better choice of words would have been... 'available?'" Whipstitch's tail moved faster from side to side, and she stepped to the side, drawing closer to him as her smile changed from "smug" to "coy."

Discord didn't look surprised at the inquest, snapping his fingers and summoning a long loop of licorice that he began to thoughtfully munch on.

"... I suppose so, though Eclipse warned me about you." Discord mumbled, giving her a sideways glance. "He told me that you were crazy..."

Whipstitch jumped up, snagging the other end of the loop between her teeth, and turned herself to face Discord, who had bent down to stop the licorice from snapping.

"Well, you know Eclipse... He was never really a 'total chaos' kind of guy..." She mumbled her words around the snack. She pulled a large bite into her mouth, shortening the distance between her face and Discord's.

"And you're saying that you are..." Discord took a bite of his own, drawing them to the point where they were only inches apart. "A 'total chaos' type of girl?" As Whipstitch looked into his crimson eyes, she could see wisdom, playfulness, and an almost hypnotic sense of confidence.

"Oh, you can bet I am..." Whipstitch took yet another bite, and their lips were almost touching. "I can take anything both you and the universe can dish out and serve it right back with a topspin and a side of hay fries..." Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she was only praying that nothing could stop this moment and what she could only hope was about to happen next...

"You know, when I told you two to 'get a room,' I didn't mean ours!" Eclipse moaned, sitting up in his bed with a pillow on either side of his head. He turned to the white pony laying next to him with a sigh. "I mean, seriously, is this what the two of us sound like? It's absolutely sickening!"

"Don't get me involved in this..." Celestia mumbled groggily, taking one of the pillows from his head and placing it over her own. "You're the one who introduced them to each other..."

"You're too right, brother!" Discord straightened up again, and the licorice lengthened to allow him to do so. "It is sickening. Even worse than some of those 'friendship reports' that I read while I was sorting through Celestia's personal belongings!"

"You what?" Celestia was quickly growing more and more awake, though her tone made it sound as if she weren't happy to do so."

"Oh, nothing!" Discord snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of light, leaving Whipstitch with only a string of licorice about five feet long hanging out of her mouth.

"Darn it, Eclipse, why did you have to ruin my fun?" Whipstitch whined, slurping up the licorice like it was spaghetti.

"If that's your idea of 'fun,' I'd hate to see your idea of 'a howling good time.'" Eclipse mumbled as he laid back down again.

"Oh, I don't know..." Whipstitch gave a devious smile. "You might like to watch that... and Celestia might, too. You could learn a few things about interspecies relationships..."

"Whipstitch. my dear, we wrote the book about that..." Celestia mumbled, lifting the pillow off of the top of her head for a moment. "Now, please get out before I give you a demonstration..."

Eclipse sat up, seemingly confused by all of this, looked as if he were about to ask Celestia to explain, then shook his head and laid down again.

"I don't even want to know."

Author's Note

Originally Chapter 7 of "Whipstitch." Published on 16 Feb, 2013

Chryswell (Facebook Vote Special!): The Queen's Captive...

As per our Facebook vote, the winning ship is Chryswell! I set up a vote to see which pairing my Facebook followers (http://www.facebook.com/PenningtonInkwell) wanted me to write a short, one-chapter fic about, and the vote came to the favorite ship being Pennington X Chrysalis!

If you're still around by now, I have only three more things to say.
1. Thank you to all of you who have come and liked my page on Facebook or followed me on Fimfiction! You're an inspiration to me every day!
2. Thank you to my lovely illustrator, Gina, without whom my stories would be lifeless.
3. I hope that you all enjoy this bonus chapter, because you asked for it!

Happy Adventuring!
-Pennington Inkwell

"Well, after what happened, I never imagined that I would come back here again..." Chrysalis smiled as she spoke to her "prisoner."

"Well, you know how it is... Just when you think that you've found the right one, she starts getting all grabby and overprotective... then you have to break the news that she's holding you back and she gets all offended and tries to burn your house down... and then uses magic to send you out about halfway to the next country..." The blue-and-lavender unicorn shrugged from his perspective on the ceiling. "Honestly, I'm not going to be mad at her for it, but I just felt like I needed to get away. Find someplace I would be comfortable."

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow as she turned back around, finding herself looking straight into his upside-down eyes. "Pennington... You're hanging from the ceiling. My drones glued you there when they found you sneaking into the hive again."

"Well, if I had been sneaking, they wouldn't have found me. But security certainly has gotten tighter since I was last here..." Pennington shrugged again, though Chrysalis could see his face starting to redden from the blood rushing to his head. "But I do feel comfortable here... Probably because of my partial conversion. I never really lost that connection to the hive mind, I just don't let it control me. Instead, I just let myself pass through the current of thought! It's really quite relaxing, and the hive mind is actually rather welcoming!" He gave her a smug grin. "I suppose the willingness to accept me so quickly was your influence, my queen?"

Chrysalis felt a slight twinge of amusement as the stallion addressed her with her royal title, as if his loyalties laid with her. "Well, now, what on Earth would make you think that?"

"Well, I know that you're the only one who can directly affect the hive mind, and I can tell that it's not only being made to accept me, but to welcome me in..." He tried to turn his head right-side-up, an act that proved futile as he swung back into place. "And I can read the hive mind like a book. It was a quick read, with my being an author..."

Chrysalis smiled as she watched him struggle. She felt a light burning sensation in her chest as she turned away again. It was a warm feeling, and she decided to let it grow. "That's hardly substantial evidence..."

"Not to mention, to the trained mind, it can act as a window straight into yours!" Pennington said smugly as she tensed. "I've seen a few of your more devious plans to get me back here... So, I decided to just come to you, instead!"

Chrysalis turned back on him, quickly advancing on the unicorn. "You looked into my mind?" She hissed, looping one of the holes in her legs around his horn. She pulled his head so that their eyes met, giving him no other place to look. "You would dare to-"

"Well, you let me in!" Pennington interrupted, refusing to squirm under her gaze. "All of those fantasies... Luna taught me a little about dreams, and yours have certainly been worth seeing!" He didn't blink as he stared her down. It seemed to be a battle of lavender versus verdant green as the two refused to blink. "Honestly, Chryssie... I wouldn't have to be part changeling to know what you're feeling right now."

Chrysalis's gaze narrowed as she continued to look into his eyes. She knew what it was that he was talking about. She could feel her heart rate speeding up and her instincts beginning to nag at her as to what she should do. Trying to keep her dignity, she ignored the impulses, but the distraction forced her to glance away. When she looked back, she could feel the smugness radiating off of Pennington.

When she had first met Pennington, it had been in the heat of a revolution. She had seen him at his strongest, and even fought with him against the previous king, and she had seen him at his weakest, when his limp body had flopped out of the conversion pod that he had been stored away in, half changeling and half pony, fighting desperately to hold on to his own name. Never, though, had she ever thought of how much his strength had appealed to her. Pennington was a survivor, just as she was. She had always found her mind wandering back to the few moments that they had spent together. She had almost wished that she hadn't stepped into the role of Queen, since it had been the only thing stopping her from trying to pursue him to Equestria at times. In her spare moments, in the dark of night, she had replayed the time that he had struck down King Entropy's horn dozens of times in her mind, every time looking at the expression of sheer defiance in his eyes. She had no time to think of him during the day, and her queenly duties prevented her from having the time to court any kind of suitor. If he hadn't come here and been caught, I wouldn't have even had the time to see him...

"You know... It's funny that I would know your own food better than you do..." Pennington whispered. "You still haven't figured it out, have you? That burning ache in your chest, those impulses that rake through your body and mind that take every ounce of your willpower to resist? It's said that only changeling royalty can feel the very feeling they feed and grow from... A little love."

Again, her instincts screamed at her in her mind what to do, and this time, she didn't smother them with her pride. "Oh, just come here, you little..." She muttered. Using her grasp on his horn, she pulled Pennington's face forward pulling him into a passionate kiss. From the moment that their lips met, Chrysalis felt as if her body were on fire, burning with a warmth from within, culminating in her brain being set on fire as she gave in totally to her instincts.

Pennington seemed surprised at first, unable to recoil from the sudden onslaught due to her front leg being wrapped around his horn. After a few seconds, however, he began to enjoy it, quietly humming with pleasure now and then as they both sank deeper into the fiery osculation. Every fiber of her being screamed at how right it felt to be kissing him, and she could feel herself growing stronger with every passing moment. She took a step forward, pushing herself more into the kiss, and in her excitement, she could feel the venom dripping off of her fangs and collecting with her saliva. As Pennington returned her force with a resistance of his own, either out of passion or the simple inflexibility of his inverted position, Chrysalis felt another wave of instinctive passion wash over her. With a final lunge forward, she pried open his mouth with her own, letting the venom spill inside. With this final action, she finally broke away from the kiss and took a few steps off to the side, trying hard to cope with the sudden flow of strange and unfamiliar emotions.

Pennington was swinging back and forth, his hooves still anchored firmly to the ceiling, sputtering and coughing for breath. The bright green venom that Chrysalis had deposited in his mouth was dripping out of the corners of his lips and his nostrils. "W- Woah..." He coughed again, sending green droplets through the air. "That was a new experience..."

"Oh, toughen up, Inkwell... You hardly even opened your mouth..." Chrysalis muttered playfully.

He glanced down at the front of his snout. "Uh, Chrysalis? Is this stuff supposed to be burning like a somewhat diluted acid?"

"Well..." Chrysalis grinned evilly as she turned back to face him, her eyes glowing a bright green. "I'm sure you'll get used to it quickly..."

Pennington blinked in surprise at the sudden change, then returned a malevolent grin of his own. "Well, then... Does that mean I get another dose?"

"Absolutely... Along with a few other things. Welcome to the hive, Pennington." Chrysalis finally freed him from his entrapment on the ceiling, gently placing him on the floor with her magic. "Let's start the tour with my personal quarters, shall we?"

"Please, Chrysalis... Call me Penny." The unicorn gave her an understanding smile as they walked away side by side.

Well, every queen needs a king...

Pennington looked up from his work, shocked and more than slightly disturbed at what he had written.

"Is... this what you wanted?" He asked, handing the commission to his customer.

The friend adjusted his glasses and gave it a quick glance. "Well, I was hoping for something where the two of them got a bit more... involved..."

"I don't write clop, Ace. If you want somepony to write you a story like 'Fifty Shades of Neigh,' You're going to have to look somewhere else." Pennington said bluntly to the changeling standing across the counter from him. "I know that you defended me while I was on trial, and I'll always be grateful for that, but there are some lines I won't cross."

Ace looked at him with a mix of disgust and amusement. "I didn't want a clopfic... But this will work just fine. How much do I owe you?"

"Just... never, ever, EVER let Twilight see it, and I'll call it even..." Pennington shook his head and walked away from the lobby area where he took and delivered commissions. That is the LAST time I ever take a commission order from Ace...

Author's Note

Previously Chapter 26 of "Happy Adventuring, Twilight!" Published on 28 March, 2013.

Explosion Day Special: Monster Mash

Well, as many of you may know, today is a day very near and dear to my heart:

EXPLOSION DAY!!!!!!!

Oh, and something about the United States or something... I dunno.

In honor of this most glorious of holidays, I've decided to write out a showdown that NO ONE has been waiting for!

SPIDERSTITCH

VERSUS

SNAKE-INGTON INKWELL!!!!!

Now, I know that you're all wondering where this reptilian version of Pennington came from, since there hasn't even been so much as a fleeting mention of Pennington being associated with snakes... Well, this actually comes from a crossover that I'm about to be taking a part of on tumblr with two other blogs!

Ask Medusa Pony

and

Lavender Swirl Says!

Now, this will not be related to either of those, and the crossover will be exclusive to my tumblr, Pennington's Inkwell, but Gina and I were talking about what might happen if these two fought... And I just couldn't resist. So, in honor of the day that America declared independence from (and, essentially, war upon) what was perhaps one of the greatest empires in history, the fight for the lives of Ponyville shall...

COMMENCE!!!!

(Side note: It is best to read this whilst listening to Dragonforce, with my personal recommendation being "One Final Stand.")

"Penn! She's COMING!" Moonstone's screech rang through the morning air, waking up nearly half of Ponyville as she streaked across the sky, flying as quickly as she could away from the Everfree forest.

Twilight Sparkle, recognizing the voice, looked up from her book and craned to see the tiny dragon out of her window. She knew that Pennington and Moonstone had seen more than their fair share of strange and terrifying creatures, but Moonstone seemed to be more frightened than usual.

"Who, Moonstone? Who's coming?" She shouted, pushing open the hinged door.

Moonstone stopped for a moment, looking around for the source of the voice. When they finally made eye contact, Twilight could see that Moonstone's fear was real, her eyes open wide and her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Stay inside, Twilight! Just stay inside! It's too dangerous!" Without another word, the dragon was gone again, flying towards Pennington's shop.

Spike, who had only just woken up from his afternoon nap, let out a long yawn as he walked up next to Twilight at the window, still rubbing his eyes.

"What was THAT all about?"

"I don't know... But it sounds like trouble, and where there's trouble, there's Pennington Inkwell... I'm going to go and investigate, make sure that things are safe for Ponyville." She shook her head in frustration. "And make sure that stallion doesn't get himself killed... You stay here, Spike, in case it really is as dangerous as Moonstone is making it sound."

"But I-" Spike seemed to want to argue the point, but a quick glare from Twilight resigned him to a sleepy skulk. "Fine... But I'm doing any re-shelving alone."

"Deal." Twilight smiled and trotted down the stairs from her bedroom and out of the front door.

Moonstone's cry had obviously been counterproductive, since most of the town's population was now out in the main street, murmuring about what, exactly, could be coming. Twilight quickly found the rest of her friends, who were all standing outside of Sugarcube Corner, each reacting differently to the situation. Rainbow Dash was grinding her hooves together, obviously ready for a fight, while Fluttershy seemed to be looking for some place to hide. Rarity was brushing her mane, obviously having been in bed only a short time ago, while Applejack was glancing nervously back in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres, which stood on the border of Everfree, obviously split between her sense of duty to be with her friends and worrying about her family. Pinkie Pie was actually the only one not with the group, instead running from pony to pony in the street, babbling throwing a party for whoever was coming.

"Girls, what are you doing here?"

"Well, darling, if whoever is coming has dear little Moonstone so worked up, then we hardly had a doubt in our minds that it was dangerous!" Rarity smiled at her between tugs on her mane.

"And that idiot couldn't handle a timber wolf on his own, let alone whatever kinda monster this might be!" Applejack grinned at the opportunity to insult Pennington when he wasn't around. "So we figured it'd be up to us to defend the town!"

"Pfft! You mean, 'up to me!'" Rainbow Dash chuckled as she did a quick loop-de-loop to blow off some of her excess excitement. "I bet that one kick from me will send this thing running! Just like that dragon!"

"Wasn't Fluttershy the one who got the dragon to leave?" Twilight asked, rolling her eyes as Rainbow Dash's face flushed.

"Well, um, I'm just here to see if we can avoid, uh, violence..." Fluttershy whispered, trying unsuccessfully to hide behind the Cakes' mailbox. "I wouldn't want my animal friends getting hurt..."

Twilight nodded. "Not to mention, with tomorrow being Nightmare Night, anything coming in and causing mayhem to the town would be a disaster!"

"THERE IT IS!" A pony from somewhere in the crowd screamed, pointing towards the road leading to Everfree. Immediately, every pair of eyes was staring into the distance, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening. When Twilight finally had a clear view, any thoughts of ending it without violence fled from her mind.

It looked almost like a pony, and she could tell that there was a pony in the center of it all, but one wrapped up in what Twilight could barely make out as its own hair. The hair seemed to somehow have taken a more solid form, wrapping around her body to form elongated, pointed legs branching off of her hooves, stabbing violently into the ground with every step. Four more elongated legs branched out from her sides, made entirely of hair, hanging in the air as if waiting for something to impale. Jet-black hair was wrapped all around her body, and Twilight could make out a sharpened unicorn horn protruding out from the top of her head. The eyes were dark, is if the pupils had dilated to cover the entire surface, giving the creature a mindless, feral appearance that denied any chance of being reasoned with.

"Is that... Whipstitch?" Twilight whispered, trying to recognize Pennington's eccentric pink friend under all of the hair. She knew that Whipstitch tended to go missing around Nightmare Night, but nopony knew why except Pennington, and he claimed to have been sworn to secrecy.

In what Twilight prayed was only a coincidence, the creature's head suddenly whipped towards the town, staring at the multitude of ponies. There was a moment of silence at the stares were mutually returned, and then the spider-like creature screamed. The howl made Twilight's blood run cold, grating with both the sounds of an intelligent pony's scream and a mindless whinny. With speed befitting a spider of that size, Whipstitch began racing towards the town, obviously planning on attacking the ponies.

"Girls, are you ready?" Twilight asked, turning to her friends. The chorus of grim nods helped her to feel more assured as the ponies around them panicked, running to and fro in an effort to hide and barricade themselves inside homes and behind walls. Even Pinkie Pie seemed to be acting seriously as they all stood together at the head of the road, ready to face down the creature.

Rainbow Dash was the first to attack, zooming ahead to meet Whipstitch midway to Ponyville. Before the pony could react, Rainbow had already created a spinning vortex around her, quickly forming a small tornado. If her objective had been to lift the attacker into the air, however, it failed. Looking from side to side, the pony flicked her unnaturally long tail into the side of the tornado.

"URRK!" Rainbow Dash was only able to make a guttural grunt as the hair of the tail wrapped around her neck, stopping her short. With another effortless twitch of her tail, Whipstitch flung Rainbow Dash into the ground head-first, knocking her nearly unconscious. In her dazed state, Rainbow couldn't fight as the four legs made entirely out of hair took action, wrapping her entire body into a cocoon of the same black hair from the neck down, all without Whipstitch even turning to look. When the task was completed, the legs delivered her to the front, presenting her bare neck to the fangs.

"Hang on, Rainbow! Ah'm a'comin'!" Applejack shouted, jumping into the fray with a strong punch from her front legs slamming into the side of Whipstitch's face, knocking the fangs away. In one fluid motion, the earth pony used her momentum to spin around, revealing her familiar apple-bucking stance. With one kick, she sent Rainbow and her hairy prison flying away to a safe distance. Still balanced on her back hooves, she turned her attention back to their adversary, who had rapidly recovered from the initial shock. As she moved for another, stronger blow, however, the fanged face dodged to the side with near-impossible speed. For Applejack, what happened next came unbearably slowly. As her back legs sailed into now-open air, Whipstitch's jaw opened and her fangs extended, growing even longer. Lunging forward, the monster bit down onto Applejack's left leg, sinking its fangs into her flesh. Applejack would later shudder as she remembered the feeling of the venom being forced into her body. As her bite only deepened, Whipstitch yanked her head to the side, flinging Applejack into the air, where she landed on Rainbow Dash, who was still struggling to try and get out of the wrappings that had left her so helpless.

"My- My LEG!" Applejack cried, reaching down to grip at her injured limb, which was rapidly becoming blood-soaked from the bite wound. Even as Whipstitch advanced on her thicker legs, Applejack's eyes rolled back in her head as the venom took effect, paralyzing her body and knocking her unconscious.

Twilight turned to Rarity, who gave her a short nod of determination. Twilight closed her eyes, focusing on the spot where Applejack and Rainbow Dash had both landed. In a flash, the two of them disappeared, reappearing beside them.

"Hey, get me outta here!" Rainbow Dash cried, rolling gently back and forth as she tried to free her wings. "I can still fight!"

"Rarity! I'm getting them out of here!" Twilight was nearly shouting as the tension mounted.

"Don't worry about me, dearie! I've dealt with many a bad hair day..." Rarity winked at Twilight, despite her obvious unease. "This ruffian won't be a problem..."

As she turned to face the monster, Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash disappeared. When they reappeared, they were back on Mane Street, only slightly singed from the effort of teleporting three ponies. With a burst of magic, Twilight began freeing Rainbow Dahs.

"Rainbow, Applejack needs to get to a hospital. You're the fastest flier in Equestria. You and Fluttershy need to get her there. Now."

"But, Twilight! I can beat this thing!" Rainbow protested as she shook off the last few strands of hair and rolled onto her hooves. A dark glare from Twilight, however, silenced the pegasus. Twilight gave a kinder glance towards Fluttershy, who was still trying to hide behind the Cakes' mailbox.

"Fluttershy, we both know that pony, if you would even call her a pony right now, isn't going to be affected by your stare. She's just mindlessly attacking. You need to help Rainbow Dash."

The cream-colored pegasus took a shivering step out, nodding silently.

"Applejack. Hospital. Now. We don't know what was in that bite, but she needs IMMEDIATE attention!"

Grumbling under her breath, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy lifted Applejack onto their backs and took off, zooming away in the direction of the Ponyville General Hospital.

As Twilight returned her attention to the fight, her heart skipped a beat as she realized that the fight had almost reached the town, itself. They were only about ten yards from the first few homes and shops.

While she had been distracted, Pinkie Pie had joined in the fight, as well, somehow having gotten a hold of her "party cannon." That, combined with Rarity's magic trying to immobilize her, had let them begin to force her back towards Everfree. Every time that Pinkie fired a load of confetti and party favors, Whipstitch would lose a little more ground. Twilight grinned and began to run out to them, happy to see that something was finally working. Even as she ran towards them, however, she realized that the victory was short-lived. As Pinkie slammed her hoof down onto the button to fire the next round, nothing happened. The pony paused for a moment, pressing the button again in confusion.

"Oh! Outta ammo! Okie dokie!" Without a moment's hesitation, Pinkie shrugged and pulled a lighter from seemingly nowhere, lighting a small fuse on the side of the cannon, then jumped in, herself. As she did this, however, Whipstitch seemed to notice the hole in their defense and struck out with one of her extra legs, breaking free of Rarity's magical grip. The leg reached the cannon just as the fuse burned out, turning it away from herself... and straight towards Rarity. In the split second that it took for her to see what was about to happen, Twilight could only watch the inevitable.

BOOM!

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"PINKIE!"

Pinkie Pie slammed into Rarity with rocket-like force, instantly knocking them both unconscious, a blow that had been meant for Whipstitch.

"What are they DOING?" Twilight heard a familiar voice cry. Looking up, she saw the small lavender dragonet hovering in the air, obviously having just returned. "They can't fight Spiderstitch!"

"You should have TOLD US!" Twilight felt a sudden swell of rage towards the dragon, but she decided to focus on the matter at hoof, getting Pinkie and Rarity to safety. Closing her eyes, she gathered up her energy to teleport again, settling beside Rarity and Pinkie Pie in a sudden flash of light. Even as she opened her eyes again, however, she realized that she had made a horrible mistake. Whipstitch's face was only inches from hers, those black eyes staring straight into hers. Twilight could smell rotting meat on her musty breath, and she could see a disgusting mix of venom and Applejack's blood dripping from her teeth. In those few seconds, Twilight was certain that she was about to die alongside her friends.

"Any time, Penn!"

Both Twilight and Whipstitch turned to look at Moonstone, who was sounding more annoyed at this point than frightened, standing with her winged arms crossed over her chest and tapping her toes in impatience.

"Sorry, Moonstone! It's still takes a little getting used to!" Pennington's voice came from behind Twilight, but she didn't dare turn her back on Whipstitch. Whipstitch, somehow, though, instead turned her gaze up above Twilight's head, rising to her full height. Her full attention was focused on what was behind Twilight's back. Twilight glanced at Moonstone, who was giving her a confident smile, then pointed upwards, indicating that Twilight should look up.

Twilight slowly turned her head upwards then finally turned around fully, staring agape at what was behind her.

It seemed to be Pennington, but... Not like she had ever seen him before.

He seemed to have become half-snake. His entire body from the stomach downwards had been replaced with a long, thick snake's body, covered in purple-tinged, night-blue scales. A few scales dotted the areas around his neck and shoulders, along with his knees and hooves, creating an almost bejeweled look on his torso and the tips of his ears. His horn had been replaced by a stony grey branch that was thrumming with his familiar sky-blue magic. The branch as mounted on his skull above his right eye, right on the edge of a huge mass of scales covering the eye itself. He seemed to be staring "Spiderstitch" down with one red-tinged, slit-pupiled eye. A large, grey strap ran across his chest, and Twilight could see a scabbard poking out from behind his back. He had brought his sword, rather than relying on a Twilight's eyes tavelled down his lengthy snake half, which he had lifted himself up on, rearing up like a cobra ready to strike. The long, muscular shape reminded Twilight of a boa constrictor's body, though she could tell that it was tensely coiled. At the far end, a rattlesnake's rattler shuddered back and forth, creating a cacophony that alerted the entire area: Pennington was ready for a fight.

"Well, Sparky, are you getting out of here, or not?" Pennington muttered, not breaking eye contact with Whipstitch. He slowly swayed back and forth, and Whipstirch moved with him, her attention somehow caught.

Twilight was shaken out of her shocked stupor by the question, and remembered that Pinkie Pie and Rarity were still in danger. Putting aside her thousands of questions for the moment, she teleported the three of them away, landing near Moonstone.

The flash of light seemed to snap Whipstitch out of her trance, and she let out a long hiss, jabbing at Pennington with the four extra legs, their razor-sharp tips letting out a low "swish" sound as they sped towards him. A small cry of fear slipped out through Twilight's lips, even as Pennington lifted his front hooves in response. There was a loud sound, like a hammer colliding with stone, and Twilight stared in awe. Pennington's scale-covered hooves were stretched out in front of him, each meeting two of Whipstitch's legs in a climactic stalemate, each seemingly equal in strength.

"Relax, Twilight! Penn's got this..." Moonstone chuckled, rolling her eyes, a total change from her earlier panic.

"But- But- HOW?" Twilight asked the most prominent of her question as the two leaned back and forth, each one trying to topple the other and gain the upper hoof.

"Well, Medusa's actually pretty nice..." Moonstone chuckled. "Long story short... He found a little artifact, and she let him keep it."

"Medusa?"

"Looong story..." Moonstone shook her head. "Anyway... GO PENN, GO!" She swung her fist enthusiastically in the air, cheering for Pennington.

When Twilight looked back at the fight, she could see that Pennington had sprung up into the air, arcing up and over Whipstitch's head, then landing on the ground behind her, slithering away towards the Everfree forest. Not wasting any time, Whipstitch spun around and took off in pursuit, quickly closing the gap between them. Even as Pennington disappeared into the trees, she was right on his tail.

"Come on! We've got to watch!" Moonstone took off into the air, motioning for Twilight to follow. After a few seconds of debating, Twilight set out at a gallop, trying to keep up.

Pennington had curled his elongated body around a tree trunk, keeping the high ground from Whipstitch. He was barely avoiding her attacks, dodging his body to either side whenever she would try to stab at him. Unfortunately, he was running out of places to go, slowly bringing his body up more and more into the branches. He needed a plan.

"Well, how did you get out, then? Did Whipstitch not stack enough boulders in front of the cave before she changed? Did you figure out how to climb out?" He was talking more to himself than to Whipstitch, thinking out loud to fill the moment with some kind of conscious thought.

"What if... she changed faster than she expected? And never managed to lock herself in?" His eyes widened slightly at the realization. "If this is just the first day... There's almost another week of Spiderstitch to go!"

As his focus momentarily broke, Whipstitch took the advantage, stabbing at the end of his tail, this time reaching her mark and pinning down the rattle. He thanked Luna that the rattle wasn't actually alive, nor did it have feeling, just like an ordinary rattlesnake's, but he was still pinned because of it.

"Hey!" Pennington pulled at his tail, growling under his breath as his temper began to flare. Whipstitch didn't care or notice, lunging forward and digging her teeth into the flesh of the end of his tail, her fangs slipping into the crevasses between his scales and grinding into the muscle beneath.

"GAAH! Okay, THAT does it! No more 'Mr. Nice Snake!'" Pennington dropped from the high branch, landing his heavy upper body on Whipstitch's back, knocking her flat onto her stomach. His tail was yanked free in the process, but he could already feel numbness beginning to spread in the tip, like a dentist's injection. Hopefully this body has some immunity to venom... though I doubt it.

"One good bite deserves another!" As Whipstitch tried to get up, Pennington leaned down and, wrapping his front hooves around her throat, dug his own fangs into the back of her neck, trying not to shudder at the feeling of expunging his own venom into her blood.

Whipstitch, however, seemed unaffected by the amount of his venom that would have knocked an elephant into unconsciousness. The hair on her head and resting on her neck seemed to take on a life of its own, wrapping around Pennington's head and throat and growing tight, trying to choke him. The hair was stronger than he would have imagined, feeling like a thousand piano cords being tightened around him. Instinctively, Pennington's body began to flex and curl, wrapping around Whipstitch and growing tight with bone-crushing strength as he stopped her from breathing, as well. He could feel that he had pinned all of her legs to her body, and several of them were grinding as his scales with sharp edges, trying to break through to his flesh. At the rate that they were going, Whipstitch would be able to slice him into thirds before he could suffocate her.

From deep within the hair and fur, the petrified branch that had replaced his horn began to glow, pulling the sword on his back from its sheathe. The shining blade was quickly set to work, cutting through the hair in a matter of seconds, freeing Pennington's head and neck with gentle swipes. Pennington had never fully explored the sword's properties, but it seemed to be able to cut through the magical hair as easily as barber's scissors through real hair, a fact that he was grateful for in this moment, as he sat up, taking deep gasps of air.

Whipstitch, however, did not take kindly to her hair being cut at all. Her strength almost doubled, forcing apart Pennington's coils, rather than trying to cut through them, and she let out a near deafening scream. As he unwrapped himself from Whipstitch and slithered away to a nearby tree, Pennington had a sinking feeling that things had just gotten much worse.

Whipstitch spun towards him, several strands of her cut hair hanging limply from her head, all life gone from them. Her eyes were now so wide, they looked like huge holes in her face, leading into an empty void of loathing. Immediately, Pennington knew that he was going to have to get out of her reach. Jumping for the nearest tree, he began to climb as quickly as he could, despite the rapid numbness spreading up his tail. The trunk was considerably thick, the tree obviously being very old. Within seconds, Whipstitch was below him, trying to climb, as well. Pennington, however, had already put a distance of more than the length of his body between them, and was able to reach down and flick her spindly body off of the side of the tree with the end of his tail, causing her to become even more frustrated while he took a moment to think.

He had an idea, but he didn't like it. Not one bit. However, the moment was rapidly approaching that it would be his only option, especially as Whipstitch was tearing away at the bottom of the tree trunk in her frustration, hissing up at him with a feral rage.

Pennington felt his stomach lurch as the tree began to visibly shake and sway, becoming even more noticeable with every second. There wasn't much that he could do, now, except to hold on for dear life and watch what Whipstitch was doing below.

At the bottom of the tree, Whipstitch finally reached the tree's breaking point, forcing it to cave in towards her. With a simple movement, she stepped aside to watch the tree fall, and Pennington with it.

As the tree fell, Pennington did his best to gather his body together at the top, bracing himself to jump. He waited as his heart pounded in his chest, and he was once again reminded of why he didn't spend much time in Cloudsdale: heights. In this life-threatening situation, though, he managed to keep his head and follow through with his plan.

"Annnnd... GO!" With a violent shove against the falling tree, Pennington propelled himself forward and pushed the tree to the side, turning its direction of falling on its axis...

and landing the tree on top of Whipstitch.

As Pennington landed safely on the ground, Whipstitch was pinned beneath the giant trunk, stopping her entirely and knocking her unconscious.

"Pennington!" Twilight shouted gleefully, running up to Pennington from out of the trees, hardly able to contain her excitement. "You did it!"

"Never doubted ya, Penn!" Moonstone chirped, landing on his shoulder as he slowly came down onto his front hooves, no longer in the cobra's "reared back" position. At this point, Twilight was finally able to hug him, wrapping her hooves around his neck and squeezing him tightly. It was slightly unsettling that his body seemed to have become cold-blooded in the transformation, and he radiated no heat at her touch, but she was willing to overlook it in the excitement of the moment.

"Well, we're still going to have to lock her up for the week in a place that won't crush her to death when she turns back into a normal pony... But..." Pennington beamed, revealing his slightly blood-tinged fangs. "I guess I did! I beat Spiderstitch..."

"Good job, Penn! And you didn't even have to use that 'stone stare' of yours!" Moonstone grinned. "I thought that you'd have to petrify her, for sure!"

"Wait... you can WHAT?" Twilight's jaw dropped as Pennington's hoof collided with his face.

"No, I can't... Moonstone is just blowing things out of proportion." Pennington shot her an exasperated glare. "I can work that kind of magic on small things, and it's only temporary, maybe a couple of hours, tops..." Pennington let out a long sigh, trying to wave off Twilight's questions, as he turned back towards Whipstitch's unconscious body. "Now, what do you say we get a LOT more unicorns to move Spiderstitch to a place where she'll be safe for the rest of the week, and then we can all go-"

Whipstitch was gone, the space under the tree branch now empty.

"...home?" Pennington's last word sounded more like a whimper.

"Okay... nobody move..." Moonstone whispered. "Maybe she just went home to lick her wounds..."

"Really?" Twilight asked.

"No, but I was trying to let us die with a glimmer of hope in mind..."

"Great! Because that's really helpful!" Pennington hissed.

Suddenly, from the trees, one of Whipstitch's long legs of hair sliced at Pennington's face, knocking his head to the side and sending him tumbling face-first onto the ground.

"Pennington!" Twilight cried, looking first into the forest, then down at the fallen stallion. "Are you okay?"

"Umm, Twilight?" Moonstone whispered, picking something up from the ground. As Twilight looked over, she recognized it as the cluster of scales that had been over his right eye. "We need to run... Now."

"What? Why? We can't just leave... him..." Twilight took a moment to finish her sentence as she realized something: Pennington was laughing. Cackling quietly as he began to stand up again, both eyes screwed shut.

"We need to run because Medusa only uses one eye on a day-to-day basis... Now Pennington has his second available."

Pennington's laughter grew louder and louder as he rose to his full height, eyes still shut. An obvious change had come over the stallion, his laughter becoming mocking and sadistic.

"If that's how you wanna play, Whips! LET'S PLAY!" Pennington suddenly spun around, both eyes opening and glaring at the impaling spike of hair that hadn't been there only moments before. Pennington's eyes cast their own blood-red light on the impalement device, and black hair turned to grey stone, breaking off from the rest, which retreated into the trees again with another one of Whipstitch's screeches. In this brief moment, Twilight caught a glimpse of his second eye, and it chilled her to the bone. It was pitch-black. An inky darkness with only the glowing purple-and-red iris as any sign that it was truly an eye. She stared for only a moment before she felt a clawed hand tugging on her hair.

"Twilight! RUN!" With this cry, Moonstone took off above the trees, flying back towards Ponyville as fast as she could. Twilight looked back at Pennington one last time. The ground underneath his body was beginning to turn to stone as he slithered into the bushes, and a long forked tongue had worked its way out from his mouth, licking at the air. At this point, he seemed more snake than pony, and was obviously losing control of himself. So, following Moonstone's advice, she took off running in the opposite direction, desperate to get out of the forest and back to Ponyville. The last thing that she heard was Pennington's sadistic, sing-song tone.

"I see you, Whips..."

Neither Pennington Inkwell nor Whipstitch were seen for the next 9 days. When they were finally seen returning from the Everfree forest, both were ordinary unicorns, neither wishing to talk about their experiences in the forest. What transpired in the remaining battle will apparently be a secret that they have sworn to take to their graves.

Well, there you have it, everyone! I hope you enjoyed it! I will be posting this to both Happy Adventuring AND Whipstitch, simply due to the fact that both protagonists (Antagonists, in this case?) are so deeply involved. The canon of this story is still largely undecided, so please take it for what it is: a bonus chapter. Good-natured fun. And please, comment about whether or not you enjoyed the new take on Pennington! I'm considering using it for a later story arc in Happy Adventuring!

Until then, I want to thank you all for reading! It's been an amazing journey over the past year, coming to love you all and know you well as my friends! This bonus chapter officially pushes me over 250,000 words published on fimfiction.net! (This is, if you include my later-revoked first story, "My Little Ponybots" and/or the later-deleted-for-rewriting chapters of Daughter of Chaos.) This is a huge milestone for me, along with over 3,500 story views!

Seriously, I love you all so much, I cannot thank you enough! I never imagined I could become this popular in a year! I'll try to think of something else to do to celebrate, as well.

Until then, I wish you all the happiest of adventures!

Sincerely yours, my loyal adventurers,

-Pennington Inkwell

Author's Note

Originally Chapter 33 of "Happy Adventuring, Twilight!" Published on July 4, 2013

9/11 Special: "Never Forget."

"So, where were you when it happened?" Pennington asked quietly, sipping at the broth of his soup. The room was quickly growing darker as the sun set, but neither of them seemed to want to brighten the mood or the room. The two of them had been keeping each other company on the impossibly long day, two best friends simply making sure that the other wasn't left alone.

"I was still in Fairytrail, still just a filly..." Whipstitch replied as she set down her glass. She tended to normally prefer a martini or three in the evening, but tonight she was sipping a blood-red wine, in keeping with the reverence of the day. "The school called a lock down and asked all the teachers to turn on the news... I saw it live." She shuddered and took another long drink from her glass, draining the wine. As she reached for the bottle, she made an offer to Pennington.

Pennington shook his head, picking up his own glass. "You know I don't drink, Whips... But it was horrible, wasn't it?" Tipping it back, he took a small sip of the lemonade inside. As always, he'd made it too strong, and his face shuddered for a moment as the liquid stung at his tongue. The two were being uncharacteristically reserved, though the morose memories justified their somber moods.

"I was terrified..." Whipstitch whispered as she looked down into her glass, gently swirling the contents. "Gilded came to take me home, but they wouldn't let the students out while the school was in an emergency state... She threw a huge fit until the lock down was over." She gave a half-hearted chuckle before taking another sip of the wine. "After that... we went home. Neither one of us talked about it for a while. It was one of the only times I've seen my grandmother thoroughly shut up..." As she looked up and across the small, round table they were sitting at, she watched Pennington nod.

"Mom came home early..." Pennington muttered. "She had been on her way to Appleloosa, but when she heard what had happened, she turned right back around and flew home herself." Looking down at the lemonade, he took a risk and swallowed a much larger gulp, sending shivers down his body. "Dad didn't leave me home alone, of course... But he didn't do anything to soften the blow. We watched it together on TV. He's a journalist, so he's no stranger to disasters, but he looked pretty shaken. He was scared, too." Shaking his head, Pennington pushed aside his bowl of ramen, barely touched.

"Not hungry?"

"I never am today." He shook his head.

Silence settled once again. The two ponies didn't look at each other much in the semi-darkness, each lost in their own thoughts.

"We've lived through some crazy stuff, haven't we, Penn?"

Pennington chuckled softly. "You're making me feel old, Whipstitch..."

"I mean it! I mean, the turn of the millenium? Nightmare Moon's return? We were here for Discord's resurrection, and we survived that!" Whipstitch shook her head, her long, black hair following the motion. "Someday, we're going to be able to tell our kids and our grandkids stories about the things we saw!" She took another sip of her wine. "Well, if we have any kids, that is..."

Pennington nodded quietly. "Maybe I'll tell my kids about the hairy spider monster who lives out in Everfree, gobbling up fillies and colts who wander inside..."

"And maybe I'll tell them about the stupid ghost of the pony that mocked it..." Whipstitch raised an eyebrow. The two stared for a moment, unsure of whether the other was joking,

"Arachnid-breath."

"Changeling reject."

The humor in the insults fell flat, however, as the original oppressive mood returned. The room was almost completely dark, now, and with a flash of his magic, Pennington lit a candle that had been sitting in the center of the table. It cast a faint glow, but enough to illuminate the tabletop and the two ponies sitting at it.

"Spooky..." He muttered.

"Well, you could have just turned on the light-"

"Not that, the candle is fine... It's just... We've lived through what fillies and colts will be reading in history books a thousand years from now. We're each one of those unnamed bystanders who had to fight the real battle: trying to go back to a normal life after everything was over." After a moment of thought, he shook his head. "We were probably the last ones old enough to remember it happening before our eyes... Anypony a few years younger than you or I might have learned about it from a recording or an eyewitness account but we were the ones who saw the flames before they were even put out..."

"I guess we learned the true meaning of 'death from above,' didn't we?"

This pun fell even flatter than his normal corny jokes, and the atmosphere seemed to darken for a moment.

"I know, too soon."

"It's always going to be too soon." Whipstitch let out a long sigh, finishing off yet another glass of wine.

"I was looking over some of the photographs earlier. It's funny, but for the first time, I actually took a moment to realize just how much fire there was..."

"Penn, don't go making it worse..."

"You're right... But I don't want to forget it, Whipstitch!" He stomped his hoof against the table. "I never want to forget what happened that day!"

"All of Equestria wishes that it had never happened, Penn, but we're not going to forget what happened... Not in a million years..." Whipstitch shook her head. "I just wish I hadn't needed to be here to see it."

"Well, I'm glad that it happened when it did..." As she gave him a confused look, Pennington took a deep breath. "It changed me to see something like that happen when I was still so young. The reality of the whole thing struck me all at once, and permanently impressed on me the importance of life. And for every moment of death and pain, there was some brave pony who brought a light of hope. The guards, the fire fighters, kind souls who were simply trying to help... Some of them gave everything to try to help somepony else. Sure, it was our darkest hour in perhaps hundreds of years, but that made the goodness that came as a result that much brighter!"

Whipstitch nodded. "I guess so, but it sure came at a heavy price... I had friends who lost loved ones that day."

Pennington shook his head. "The kids here in Ponyville were pretty detached from it all, being a small town and all, but a lot of the adults spent the next few days mourning the ones they'd lost. Friends, extended family... A lot of ponies lived and worked there when it happened."

Another moment of silence fell as they both remembered the sheer number of lives that had been lost. Pennington, quickly become accustomed to the beverage, poured a new glass of lemonade.

"It's funny, we lost more lives that day than we've lost to any of the storms we've weathered... Nightmare, Discord, Sombra's attack... Not even the OLR's 'clean sweep' attack was so bad, because we were able to fight back..." As he trailed off, Pennington looked down into his cup. "It was the worst crisis we've faced, and I was too young to help. I still wish that I could have done something when it happened."

"We're doing something now, aren't we?" Whipstitch smiled, lifting her glass. "We're taking the time to honor and remember the ponies who died, both victim and hero..."

Pennington let a long sigh, then gave a melancholy smile, raising his glass to meet hers with a light chime.

"I suppose that's what we can really do now... Don't ever forget the darkness, but keep in our hearts the light that only shone brighter. We'll learn and move forward, only stronger after being stricken so badly, just like how Equestria came together after what happened, both in aid and mourning..."

The two nodded quietly and each drained their glass together.

We will never forget...

Dedicated to both the brave victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks and those who, when things seemed at the most disparaging, stepped up and gave everything they could to helping others. In America's darkest hour, we all came together. We cried together, we comforted one another, and we kept each other alive. I may have only been seven when it happened, but September 11th, 2001 changed my life forever. This is meant as a tip of the hat and a raising to the glass to all those who suffered through what no one deserved to.

From Gina and I to everyone...
Stay strong.
We will never forget.
God bless America.

Author's Note

Originally Chapter 40 of "Happy Adventuring, Twilight!" Published on 12 September, 2013

When Yearling Met Inkwell

"Are you sure about this, Twilight?" Moonstone asked nervously, looking from side to side. "I mean, isn't this fiddling around with things that are really just beyond our level?"

Pennington thought quietly to himself, then nodded. "Yup. We are definitely in over our heads."

"Oh, relax, you two!" Twilight smiled, finishing her examination of the full-body mirror that she had retrieved from the library's basement. "I'm casting the spell on the mirror, not either of you! If there's any risk, it's seven years of bad luck!"

"Well, considering how many ancient temples I've defiled and supposed 'curses' I've had placed on me, I seriously doubt that breaking a mirror will do much harm." Pennington chuckled.

"If it makes you feel any better, Moonstone, I'll go over it one more time." Twilight smiled. "According to what you told me, Pennington, the Sapphire Stone opened a tear into an alternate universe and allowed you to pull your alternate self through in order to help, correct?"

Pennington nodded. "It was really weird. He was married to Lily and had two foals..."

There was a brief-but-awkward silence as Twilight, Moonstone, and Spike all turned to stare at him.

"I KNOW, RIGHT? It was FREAKY."

"Anyway... If I cold replicate the magical field around the statue and place it around this mirror, we should be able to use it as a medium to communicate and maybe even travel to this other dimension! Just imagine what we could learn from them!"

"Um, Twilight? From what Pennington told us, all that's different are minor details. Otherwise, it's the same Equestria! What could we learn from them?" Spike asked, still eying the mirror for any flaws or imperfections with her.

"That's just it! We can't even imagine what we could learn from them!": Twilight replied, bordering on giddiness.

Moonstone glanced nervously at Spike, who returned it with a look that said "just let her have her fun." Silently and discretely, she stepped away and to the side, distancing herself from the rest of the group. When Pennington gave her a chiding glance, she returned it with a shrug.

"Okay, I think that this mirror will work! No cracks or scratches!" Twilight finally stepped back, turning to Pennington. "You brought the Sapphire Stone, right?"

Pennington nodded, pulling the statue from his saddlebag. "Yes, but it seemed drained after I used it that one time. I haven't been able to get it to work ever since!"

"Oh, I'm not worried about that! I just need to be able to get a feel for the spell enough to replicate it. We don't need to actually use it!" Twilight held the dual-headed jackal statuette at eye level, her horn beginning to glow softly. After a few seconds, the statue glowed in return with a blue light, starting at the outer surface and moving inwards, the entire statue transitioning from opaque to nearly transparent. Almost immediately after, with a grunt of effort, Twilight's horn took on the same transparency. Without waiting or even opening her eyes, Twilight immediately turned around to face the mirror, and then released all of the energy at once in a single beam, striking the surface.

Time seemed to slow down as, though Twilight's eyes were screwed shut with the effort and concentration, Pennington and Spike both watched the beam strike the mirror, reflect, and shoot back at them, striking the three of them and creating a reality-warping magical field around them. Once the spell had been released, Twilight opened her eyes, smiling in her lack of knowledge of what happened.

"So, did it work?"

Only a few seconds later, Twilight, Spike, and Pennington all faded from existence, leaving an astounded Moonstone standing alone in the corner of the room. After the entirety of Twilight's miscalculation had set in, she rolled her eyes.

"Great. Looks like I not only have to tell Luna that her protege has probably managed to zap himself into another dimension, but Celestia, too..."

Pennington was the first one to wake up. When he did, he almost wished that he had stayed unconscious. The entire world had gone white, like a blank piece of paper, extending indeterminably outwards. Even the ground that his face was pressed against seemed to have a soft white glow to it, and was smooth and cool.

Slowly, he rolled over and onto his hooves, rising to a standing position. Looking around, he noticed that he wasn't alone. right next to him were Twilight and Spike, both still knocked out.

"So... At least they made it through safely..." Pennington smiled lightly before glancing around, trying to see if there was anything else to this endless white world. As he turned around for an entire 360 degrees of observation, he came to a dead stop.

He hadn't seen it before because of the fact that that he had awoken facing the opposite direction, but they weren't alone in this empty world. Only a short distance away, there were three more figures...

Two of whom he also recognized as Twilight and Spike.

Shaking his head, he slowly stepped forward, walking towards them.

Okay... This is... Well, for lack of a better word, freaky.

As he drew ever closer, he realized that this second Twilight had a pair of wings, as well as her horn, making her an alicorn.

REALLY freaky.

Finally reaching the second trio, Pennington finally examined the third figure, whom he didn't recognize at first.

While most of her body was covered by a large purple cloak, he could tell that she had a light khaki-colored coat and that her mane and tail were colorless, simply escalating up a gray scale. She wore a large pair of glasses with red frames, and a large gray hat with a white ribbon tied around it covered the majority of her mane. Even through the disguise, Pennington couldn't help but begin to recognize the mare underneath.

"No... it couldn't be..." He whispered, reaching towards her flank, trying to move the cloak so that he could see her cutie mark.

All at once, her eyes flew open and her back hooves grabbed his foreleg. Before he could know what was going on, she twisted violently on the ground, pulling him face-first downwards and throwing him onto the floor. In less than a second, she had sprung to her hooves and was now standing on top of him, keeping him pinned with one hoof around his horn, threatening to snap it off if he made any attempt at magic.

"Who are you? Where are we? What's going on?" She snapped, punctuating each question with a tug on his horn.

"Ow, OW, OW!" Pennington cringed, then executed a roll of his own, slipping his horn out of her grip as she lost her balance, falling off of his back. As a pair of wings emerged from beneath the cloak to try and stop herself from falling, Pennington coiled his back legs, then bucked them hard into her chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her flying in the opposite direction, eventually striking the ground and beginning to roll. In less than a moment, however, she had taken advantage of the rolling to set herself right-side-up. The impact had thrown off her hat and glasses, and the cloak quickly followed suit as she stretched her wings. Underneath was a green jacket and a familiar compass cutie mark, confirming his suspicion: he was definitely staring at Daring Do.

Daring, not one to be intimidated, immediately ran forward without hesitation, leaping into the air with a flap of her wings and aiming one of her back hooves at him in a flying kick. Remembering his training, Pennington hopped up with his front legs, rearing up and crossing them in front of his face, catching the blow. Using the impact, Pennington now jumped with his back legs, flipping backwards and landing on all four hooves as Daring recoiled backwards.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute! If you are who I think you are, I can explain everything in one sentence!" He shouted, shaking his head as he tried to re-orient himself from the forced back flip.

Daring landed on all four hooves again, still glaring at him.

"I highly doubt that."

"We were trying to replicate the Sapphire Stone, but the spell backfired."

Daring blinked several times as the information processed in her mind before slamming her hoof against her forehead.

"WHO in all of EQUESTRIA was dumb enough to try that? And WHY would you let them?"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea! If you want the one responsible, look at the egghead over there!" He nodded his head back in the general direction of "his" Twilight and Spike.

There was another beat as Pennington's words continued to process in Daring's mind, before she once again facehoofed, this time hard enough to send an audible slapping sound echoing across the void space they seemed to be trapped in.

"And if Princess Twilight and Spike are also here from your dimension-"

"Princess Twilight?"

"Then that means that you and I must be..."

Walking over to the fellow adventurer, Pennington held out a welcoming hoof.

"I'm Pennington Inkwell, though the fans of my books know me as 'Scorching Quill.'"

Daring stared at him for a moment, incredulous, then sighed and gave his hoof a firm shake.

"Daring Do, though the fans of my books know me as 'A. K. Yearling.'"

Pennington raised an eyebrow. "Really? Where did you get that name?"

"Well, at least I wasn't so uncreative, I needed to name myself after my writing implement!"

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm named after Quill the Scribe, one of the bravest ponies who ever lived!"

"Maybe in your universe. In mine, that just sounds dumb!"

There was a brief moment of silence as the two glared at one another.

"And how do I know you're not some kind of trick from Ahuiztol?"

"How do I know you're one of the Old Lunar Republic members trying to lure me into a trap?"

The two stared at one another for another moment.

"The stone." Daring said. "The stone should glow when the same two pony from two different dimensions hold it together."

"Really? I didn't know that!"

Daring rolled her eyes. "Just go get it, would you, quill-boy?"

Pennington frowned as Daring seemed to invent a nickname that he instantaneously hated about as much as "Penny." Not wanting to start another argument, however, Pennington deferred to his feminine counterpart and walked back to Twilight and Spike, taking the idol from where Twilight had dropped it. As he walked back towards Daring, a light flickered inside, quickly growing in intensity until it was positively radiant when the two of them were standing next to one another.

"Well, I guess that confirms it..." Daring sighed. "You really are me...."

"You could try not to sound so disappointed!" Pennington rolled his eyes. "So, how are we planning on getting out of here? It look like the spell Twilight cast might have caused a-"

"Pocket universe, yes. Right now, we're stranded in a pocket universe only held up from collapsing on itself by our mere existence."

"How do you know that?"

Daring looked at him incredulously.

"Did you even TRY to read the inscriptions on the wall when you retrieved this idol? Did you even THINK that they might be important?"

"Well, forgive me for trying to avoid the HOT LAVA at the time!"

"Ugh..." The Alicorn Twilight moaned quietly.

"Look, if your Twilight Sparkle meets my Twilight Sparkle, we're going to have much bigger problems than a pocket universe! We'll probably have a paradox within a pocket universe that's barely large enough for the six of us! In a universe as small and young as this one, that would be like putting the time-space continuum through a meat grinder! Just focus on the Sapphire Stone!" Daring snatched the statue from Pennington's hooves, examining it closely. "Judging by the glow, it has enough charge for one use... Probably drawing energy from this place." Grasping it firmly in her hoof, she closed her eyes. Just as the glow has about to become blinding, indicating that it was about to open up a new tear back to her home dimension, Pennington snatched it back again.

"Hey! You just told me that this place is held stable by all of us being here! You three leave, it might collapse!"

Rolling her violet eyes, Daring tried to grab it back again, but Pennington levitated it up into the air and out of reach.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Just stand here and stare at each other? I need to get back home, and it's your fault I'm here!"

Pennington took a deep breath inwards. "Look, you said that we have one shot at this, right? One charge? It wouldn't be fair to either of us if one got to go home and the other was stuck here forever, no matter who's fault it is! So, we need help! Help from someone outside this place. Someone who can act independent from both of us! So, let's use our one charge to try to get help!"

"But- Who would be able to help us?"

Pennington smiled, closing his eyes in concentration. There was a blinding flash from the statue, a sound of fabric tearing, and both adventurers looks down, trying not to be blinded.

When the light subsided, they were both looking at a small window into another dimension.

One the other side, there was a strange figure sitting at a table. He definitely wasn't a pony, being obviously bipedal and without hooves. His mane was short and only on the top and back of his head, and he had no fur, opting instead for a flower-patterned t-shirt and jeans. He was furiously typing on a small computer while a tray of half-eaten food sat next to him, revealing that they had opened a portal into some kind of cafeteria. Barely audible over the other noise, Pennington and Daring could hear some kind of festive music, similar to what played on the radio around Heath's Warming Eve. The very handsome human suddenly stared oddly at his computer as he typed, as if unable to understand what he was writing, and spontaneously turned to look at them.

Pennington waved to the human who should be a stranger to him, much to Daring's surprise, as if they knew one another.

"Oh, come on, Pennington! You know you can't try to get in touch with me like this!" The human moaned. "Remember what Eclipse told you?"

"Oh, ease up, Elijah!" Pennington chuckled. "How are you? I haven't seen you since that fiasco with Eris trying to escape the fourth wall!"

"I haven't even written that story! How do you know about that?" The human, apparently named "Elijah" shouted, obviously becoming increasingly frustrated with Pennington's disregard for how the balance of the multiverse should be treated.

"I know because this is a contrived situation where it's convenient for you if we leave the time and what I should and shouldn't remember undefined! Look, I'll tell you what, I'll be out of your hair lickety-split if you can just tell me how Daring and I are supposed to get home! You've kind of written us into a corner..." Pennington ignorantly and flippantly remarked to the one person in the entire multiverse upon whom his continued existence relies.

"Um... Who is that?" Daring asked, quietly and rightfully worried about what exactly was being typed on the computer.

The strong, smart, handsome, and single author took a deep breath, turning back to his computer and beginning to type again. "Look, the idol should be drawing energy from the universe created around you. You can open a dimensional rift for Daring, and as long as she doesn't betray you and jump through immediately, you can just wait for it to recharge again, then both go home together.

Pennington smiled like the smug little prick that he is. "Thanks, Elijah! I knew that you'd pull through for me when I needed you! Send Gina my best regards!"

"Just be happy if I don't make you a quadriplegic after all of this is over with, and don't EVER break the fourth wall again..." Elijah muttered as the portal shut, hopefully never be opened again.

Pennington took a deep breath and turned to Daring. "He has a few issues, but deep down, he's got a heart of gold. So, I guess we should open the portal back to your world first, right?" He handed her the statue, which was once again glowing as if ready for use.

"Who was THAT?"

"Hm? Oh! Nobody! Just an old friend of mine. Writes crappy fanfiction in his spare time." Pennington smiled. "Don't think about it too hard or you'll get a headache."

Daring let out a long sigh, even as the Sapphire stone began to glow more brightly and she opened a tear to her universe.

"Look, if we ever meet again... Let's just both go on our merry ways and not acknowledge that any of this happened, agreed?"

Pennington nodded and drew his hoof across his mouth, miming a zipper.

With that, the portal back to Daring's world opened, and she passed the statue to Pennington. There was a brief moment where the statue remained dim, and they both stared, waiting for it to recharge as they had been told it would.

"... Is it broken?"

Pennington took a deep breath, rolling his eyes.

"Fine. He writes GOOD fanfiction in his spare time."

The statue sparked back to life, the glow somehow almost putting off an aura of smugness.

"Well, Miss Yearling, it's been a pleasure!" Pennington winked, walking back towards "his" Twilight and Spike.

"It's been strange, that's for sure..."

There was a blinding flash of light as all the ponies and dragons were sent back home together.

There was a flash of light as Twilight and Spike reappeared in the library, both unconscious on the floor. After a few seconds, Twilight opened her eyes, moaning.

"Ugh... my head..." She muttered. "Is everypony okay?"

"Man, you were gone just long enough for me to finish writing my letter to Celestia!" Moonstone sighed, crumpling a piece of paper into a ball and tossing it into the corner of the room. "If I'd known you were going to be coming right back, I wouldn't have bothered!"

"Coming right back? You mean, we were gone?" Twilight looked curiously at the mirror, which seemed to have been unaffected, except for a large scorch mark in the center. "Of course! I should have used the spell from behind the mirror! It must have been reflected and backfired on us!"

"Well, a portal opened up and dumped you two back out onto the floor, so I guess that the backfire backfired!" Moonstone grinned, then looked around the room. "Wait... Then where's Pennington?"

Pennington was NOT home. After stepping through the portal back to his own dimension, he had somehow become separated from Twilight and Spike, and everything had gone dark. When he had awoken, he was someplace warm. Warm and dark. It hadn't taken him long to realize that he was under a blanket, and he'd quickly climbed out to discover that he'd wound up in a bed.

But not just any bed. Looking around the finely furnished room, the fact that all the walls, the blanket, and many of the items in the room were a bright green quickly alerted him to where he was: the royal bedchambers of the changeling hive.

As the door to the room slowly swung open, Pennington screamed what he had to wonder might be his last words.

"NOT FUNNY, ELIJAH!"

Heh, heh.

Now THAT... is a self-insert fic.

Author's Note

Originally Chapter 50 of "Happy Adventuring, Twilight!" Published on 12 December, 2013

Princess Cadence's Valentine's Day Contest! ~<3~ THE END

Hello, fellow adventurers!

Pennington, here! (The author, not the character!) I just wanted to congratulate the winners of our Valentine's Day Contest, as determined by YOU, the followers! Winning by only a single vote, the lucky couple is... Pennington Inkwell and Princess Cadence! Let give them both a big hand, everybody!

Anyway, I'd like to explain what comes next, just for clarity's sake. Completely out of context of any story and ignoring any continuity(such as Pennington's relationship with Twilight or Cadence's marriage.), Pennington and Cadence will be inserted into a romantic setting and enact a similarly romantic scene. There will be several small changes, but nothing too cataclysmic.

Penn? Cadence? Anything you'd like to say before we get started?

For the record, I never agreed to be subject to the results of this vote, and I resent that Cadence allowed them to propose any couple they wanted.

I often wish that I had thought this contest through more...

Our happy couple, everyone!

Anything can happen in a bonus chapter, so I will be recommending this only for readers who enjoyed the Pennington X Chrysalis pairing of my previous fan-voted couple! Seeing as this entire collection is rated "Teen," I don't think I have to warn you that things might get a bit... heated! So, without further ado, the final product of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's Valentine's Day Contest!

Pennington let out a long sigh as he stood outside the room, holding the letter he'd received three days ago. He had no idea what to expect when, rather than Luna's royal seal, Moonstone had produced a scroll sealed with a wax imprint of a heart with accompanying flourishes on either side. Upon opening it, he had discovered a summons from Princess Cadence, herself, urging him to meet her in Canterlot at an appointed date and time. Shaking his head and returning to the present, he took a deep breath to steady his nerves. So soon after the Canterlot invasion, where he had helped take her prisoner for the changelings, he knew that she had to be calling him to inflict her own punishment. As the ringing of the midnight toll sounded through the hallway, he knew that there was no putting it off any longer. He rapped his hoof against the door, knocking loudly.

"Yes? Who is it?" Cadence's voice chimed from within.

Pennington nervously cleared his throat. "It's- ehm- Pennington Inkwell, your highness..."

"Oh! Pennington, please do come in. The door should be unlocked." Cadence's voice was surprisingly gentle for someone who Pennington was expecting to be furious with him. As curiosity mingled with his nervousness, Pennington pressed his hoof on the door, pushing it inwards and revealing the room inside.

To his utter bewilderment, he suddenly found himself staring into the princess's personal bedroom, where she was reclined on her bed, laying in the center of a large, sky-blue heart embroidered on the covers. Her appearance was leagues beyond the haggard pony that Pennington had seen crawl out of the caves to confront Chrysalis, her silken pink fur cleaned and brushed to a stunningly smooth shine, her hooves polished and dangling over the edge of the bed, and every shade of her multicolored mane shone and shimmered. She smiled smugly as he stepped inside, as if she knew something that he didn't, and a flash of blue magic was enough to swing the door silently shut behind him. After a moment of silent enrapture, Pennington regained his senses and dropped to one knee, kneeling in front of the royalty.

"Princess, before we begin, I simply want to again offer my sincerest apologies for my part in the changeling onslaught on your birthday festivities. I will gladly accept any kind of punishment you wish to give me..." His head dropped downwards, shutting his eyes in preparation for what was to follow.

Cadence slowly slid off of the side of her bed, landing on her hooves with almost no noise at the impact. Her lithe figure strode across the room, stopping just in front of him. Pennington cringed at first as he felt her hoof slide underneath his chin, but he didn't resist as his head was tilted upwards. After a few seconds in this position, he felt a gentle, burning force press against his lips. Caught off-guard, he pulled his head backwards, his eyes flying wide open in surprise. To his astonishment, he found himself mere inches away from her face, their muzzles still almost touching. Her lavender orbs met his, and she licked her lips with a smile as her eyelids fell into a seductive, half-lidded stare.

"Now now, Pennington, the way that I remember it, the invasion was beaten away by the royal guard, who had received a tip from Scorching Quill." Her smile grew into a playful grin as her eyes rolled towards the ceiling in mock thoughtfulness. "And my dear aunts have been so kind as to inform me that that pony happens to go by another name... Yours, in fact!" She nodded forward, gently touching the tip of his horn with her own, sending jolts of unfamiliar energy through his body. Somehow, for the first time since he had lost his horn in his own sacrifice to stop the queen, Pennington felt a deep satisfaction, the kind that seemed to finally wash away the grief he had been holding onto.

"Not to mention Quill's efforts, you went through your own share of heroic endeavors, even personally saving my life," Cadence continued, moving forward until the tips of their noses met, making a pocket of hot air where their exhalations mingled, forcing to breath in the very air from her lungs. "That sounds much more like a hero than a criminal..." she whispered. "The kind of hero who could win over any heart he desired..."

The realization of the true reason for their meeting finally hit Pennington as his brain finally came around to processing the fact that she had kissed him a few moments ago. Standing up and taking a few steps back, he stared at her in surprise. He stared at her graceful motions as she rose up to her full height, several inches taller than him, he stared at her long, slender legs rising up to her gently curved body, he stared at the soft, kind features of her face as she stared at him in return, and he stared at her eyes, half-lidded and daring him to make a move.

"Miss Cadenza, I believe you're trying to seduce me."

Cadence's smile grew and she turned back towards her bed, her flank swaying hypnotically with each step until she climbed up and turned around to face him again. Her smile was enough to reveal that every motion, every tiny aspect of her movement, was calculated and planned. That smile was enough to finally drive Pennington over the edge, throwing caution and reason out the window.

"Is it working?"

"Oh, yes..." Pennington whispered breathily, bounding across the room and leaping onto the bed, practically tackling the princess and causing the two of them to roll with the impact and tumble into the center of the bed. Pennington breathed heavily as he loomed over the princess, Cadence laying beneath him and giggling, a bubbling fountain of joy that only served to enrapture him in her beauty even more. They stayed like that for a moment, each hardly believing that this was happening. A tingling warmth wrapped around his body as a blue glow surrounded the two of them. In a flurry of magic and heated desire, Cadence had suddenly swapped their positions, with her hooves now pinning his shoulders to the bed. Pennington smiled, his hoof reaching up and gently tracing a swirling pattern into the silky fur on her chest. This seemed to please her, her body wriggling pleasurably with the stimulation.

"Feisty, eh? I like that, your highness. I can rarely resist a fight..."

Cadence leaned down, bending at the knees to keep him pinned while she drew her face close to his. "Hmmmm, oh, Penny, my sweet, you have no idea..." Slowly, she closed the gap between them, placing her mouth over his in a passionate kiss. Pennington moaned into her mouth with pleasure as the heat of their colliding lips grew, and a hot, slick intrusion into his mouth mimicked Cadence's motions. Pennington's own tongue fought back, sliding over hers and into the unfamiliar territory of her mouth, sliding against her slippery-smooth teeth, and their saliva mingled in the center, allowing each of the lovers a copious taste the other. Cadence took her turn to moan with pleasure, her voice echoing and reverberating in Pennington's mouth and sending titillating vibrations across his muzzle and into his cheeks and nose. There was a short pause as she finally drew away, leaving him gasping for breath.

"You know, as the Princess of Love, I have to say... You're quite the kisser." Cadence quietly raised one hoof to wipe away a trail of saliva from the corner of her mouth before replacing it on his shoulder.

"Now... are you ready for the best part?"

Pennington nodded slowly, somehow still breathless and exhausted from the kiss.

"Good..." Cadence's grin grew, and to Pennington's horror, a green flash rolled across her eyes as, for a brief moment, her pupils constricted into familiar slits.

"So am I."

In a flash of emerald flames, the princess above him grew and morphed into Chrysalis, the Queen of the Changelings. Without waiting for him to react, Chrysalis lunged, her jaw opening wide and aiming for his neck. Dripping with venom, Chrysalis's fangs sunk deeply as she took a deep mouthful of...

the bedsheets.

After taking a brief moment to realize that her prey had disappeared, Chrysalis spat out the fabric, hissing angrily as her head swung from side to side, trying to find where he had possibly gone.

"You know, Chryssie, I knew it was you the whole time, but I'd honestly hoped that we could have some real, honest-to-goodness fun!" Pennington's voice came from directly behind her, as if he were standing of her back. Instinctively, Chrysalis bucked hard, trying to fling him off and into sight. When no pony flew over her head, she spun around to face him, assuming he was standing behind her.

"Fun? You abandoned the hive, ruined my invasion, and try to talk to me about having FUN?" she snarled, only to stop in shock as she found, not Pennington, but an unnaturally slender white mare with a golden mane that seemed to flow in an intangible wind floating on her back in the air like some kind of supernatural spirit.

"Who- who are you? What are you doing he-"

"It's okay, Chrysalis," she muttered, examining one of her hooves with a bored expression, "the story may as well be over at this point. You don't have to act in-character any more."

Chrysalis sighed, sitting on the bed and rolling her eyes. "Wonderful. It's all ruined now. Thanks, Eris."

Eris groaned, turning over onto her stomach. "It's not my fault you decided to blow your cover. So, why are you here, anyway? I was promised Princess Cadence!"

Chrysalis shrugged, looking down and to the side. "I... may have owed Cadence a favor. Seemed like the easiest way to pay her back and snag a quick meal. What about you?"

"Eh, I owed Pennington a favor after my story started handing out spoilers for his. And he told me he had a hot date..." She took a brief moment to glance over Chrysalis, smiling and licking her lips. "He wasn't lying."

Chrysalis gave her a wary look. "Are you... implying what I think you're implying?"

Eris grinned, licking her lips as her implication became clear.

"Two shapeshifters could have an awful lot of fun with a royal bedchamber to themselves..." she whispered, floating forward until her nose gently bumped against Chrysalis's. "All to themselves... all... night... long..."

Chrysalis smiled, licking her lips.

"Sounds... tasty."

Meanwhile, at Donut Joe's Donut Shop...

"You're kidding!" Cadence laughed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'm really- heh, heh- I'm really not!" Pennington laughed in return, taking a moment to try and suppress his chortles long enough to speak. "She was totally willing to go along with it!"

"So, let me get this straight..." Shining Armor muttered, tapping the table. "The two of you didn't want to go through with this, so you both ditched the other..."

"And then you sent two of Equestria's greatest threats in your place?" Twilight finished, obviously trying to decide whether or not to slap Pennington for his stupidity.

"Well, we never intended to send them both there..." Cadence grinned, finally coming down off of the high of her laughter.

"Besides, Eris swore on the Components of Chaos she wouldn't cause trouble! She can't break that oath! Cadence was perfectly safe! And I'm sure she took the same kind of precautions with Chrysalis!" Pennington grinned, pulling Twilight close as he took another bite of his donut. "Right, Princess?"

Cadence nodded in return. "Chrysalis gave me her word she wouldn't harm you! Besides, if she follows the script I gave her, nothing should go wrong!"

Meanwhile, in Ponyville...

Moonstone hummed happily to herself as she slid a fully-dressed turkey into Pennington's oven. It wasn't often that she got the chance to have meat in Equestria, but with Pennington gone on a double-date with Twilight, Shining Armor, and Cadence, she had the opportunity to cook herself a meal fit for a growing wyvern such as herself. Just as she finished setting the temperature and turned to leave it to cook, her private time was interrupted by a letter heaving itself upwards from her gullet. Opening her mouth widely to expunge the mail in a lavender fireball, she was shocked to see a large envelope with the thickness of a small novel sitting on the floor. Curious, she picked it up, tearing it open and pulling out the first of several pages.

Dear Penny,

Thank you so much for letting me go to this lovely date in your place! You'll never guess who else showed up and tried to kill you! Chrysalis! Now, I know you're still putting together that beastiary of yours, so I thought you might enjoy some of my findings on changeling physiology! Enclosed are several photographs I think you'll find quite intriguing!

Lots of love to your little brat of an assistant!

-Eris

"Who does she think she's calling a brat?" Moonstone muttered, setting the letter aside and reaching into the envelope to retrieve the "intriguing photographs." "I mean, she's the one who couldn't let us finish "Penn and Stone" because she just needed to update her own story! I ought to send these photographs right back with a letter telling her that she can stick them right up her-"

She froze as the first of the photographs came into sight. She stared only long enough to realize that the two villains were, indeed, doing exactly what she thought they were doing.

"OH, THAT IS DISGUSTING!"

Author's Note

Ha! I bet you all thought I FORGOT about this!

P.S. The photographs were incinerated and never again saw the light of day. Moonstone, however, still occasionally sees that one... in her nightmares.