The Phoenix Queen

by RainbowSplash

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Philomena, Princess Celestia
Length: 1090

Celestia wants to die more than anything...

Celestia wants to die more than anything, as she no longer has the will to live. Is there anything she can do to save herself from the misery of living eternally? According to Philomena, yes, there is.

Published 2012-03-26 03:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-26 03:14:02 UTC

The Phoenix Queen

However long the night, the dawn will break.

-African Proverb

Celestia the Alicorn sat at her throne. It was night, but she couldn't sleep. It was another night in which she felt unbearably depressed. She had felt this way a lot recently. It just seemed that no matter how she looked at the world, it didn't have the meaning it used to. She had lived for over a thousand years, and she would live for a thousand more. And a thousand more after that. And a thousand more after that. She was immortal. Any other pony (besides Luna, of course) would look at her immortality with envy. Nopony wants to die, right? Everypony wants to live. Living forever would be the ultimate gift.

Or so it would seem.

Nopony has ever been immortal. Nopony has ever known what it feels like.

Except Celestia (and Luna, but this is about Celestia).

Living forever isn't what it's cracked up to be. Seeing friends and family die, watching everything about the world change, viewing the entire world progressing, observing every being's and every ideal's creation and destruction. And all the while she remains the same in almost every way. She is eternal.

She wanted to die more than anypony ever wanted to live. She just wanted this existence to end. She wanted to fade out, to be put to rest, as many of her friends are and were. She had a hole in her heart. The hole seemed as it it would never be filled. Not when everything and everypony fades away. But she understood why she must live. She, in her amazing knowledge and power, has kept Equestria peaceful for as long as she had lived, with the help of her many students throughout the years. If she was to die, with no descendants, what would happen to the throne? How can She be sure her replacement would be dependable? How would she know that everypony would be safe and happy? She couldn't. So it was necessary for her to live. Not that she had a choice, anyway.

This particular night, she was sitting in her throne with Philomena, her immortal pet phoenix. It helped her to know that she was not alone in the pain of immortality, but not by much.

"Celestia, do you want to die?" Asked Philomena in a beautiful, sing-song voice. Although Celestia had never heard the bird talk, when you live a thousand years you see some pretty strange things. A talking bird wasn't that surprising. But the question was.

"Do you feel the same as I?" She asked Philomena.

"No, I do not."

"What? You don't feel sad all the time? Does your soul not ache? Do you not want to die more than anything?" Celestia said with surprise.

"There is something you do not understand about Phoenixes." Replied Philomena. "You know that although we die, we are never dead. We are re-born, with all the knowledge from our previous lives. But something you do not realize is that we keep our knowledge, but not our memories. So although I know many things, I don't have the learning experience. That is what gives me the will to live. I am like a newborn when I reform from my ashes. I truly am a new being."

"That is amazing. So you never feel the pain I feel..." Said Celestia, feeling truly depressed. So there really was no other being (except Luna, but remember, we're forgetting her) that felt the way that she did, not even the Phoenixes.

"Although I never have felt your pain, I can help you." Said Philomena. "You see, when I am re-born, my "life drive", so to speak, is reset. My will to live. My interest in existing. When we are children, our life drives are strongest. We have long attention spans, we enjoy and take in as much as we can. But as we grow older, our life drive wears thin and we lose interest in our lives. By that time, in a normal being's life, we are already approaching death. And in my life, I die, and my life drive is reset as I rise. But for you, your life drive is almost non-existent. You have no will to live. All that allows you to continue is your love for the Ponies and harmony of Equestria. But it's driving you insane."

"I see what your saying, and it is true. But how does knowing this help me?"

"You see, I may not possess magical abilities, but as I have lived, throughout my entire existence, I have been attaining knowledge of magic. I I know and understand more about magic than many ponies ever will. And I have, over the course of hundreds of lives, created a spell that will renew your life drive. Your knowledge will be present, and of your all memories, but your life drive will become as powerful as that of an infant's. You will have the will to live."

Celestia was amazed.

"You really have? That's amazing! I can't thank you enough for your actions!"

"All you have to do is repeat after me."

"I will do so! Philomena, I love you so much. You have been such a good friend." Celestia was on the verge of tears. If this worked, this would be the best thing that had ever happened to her. Being freed of the pain of eternal existence, while still being immortal? Yes, please! And as soon as possible!

"Ego renatus, ut a phoenix est. Et populum meum pro patria vivere semper!" Philomena cried.

"Ego renatus, ut a phoenix est. Et populum meum pro patria vivere semper!" Celestia repeated with vigor.

And then exploded. Beams of light shot out from inside of her chest where her heart was, ripping through her flesh.Her eyes glowed with the same powerful white light, and out of her mouth a massive shaft of light was shone as well. And with a clap of thunder and a painful, wet, ripping sound, her body exploded with the force of a nuclear weapon. The castle, too exploded in a massive flash of light. Philomena was destroyed, along with all of the royal guards. Everything. Destroyed.

A few minutes later, a form appeared out of the rubble. It was a little filly alicorn, with white hair and a flowing, multicolored mane. Her eyes widened open as she looked around the sky and the mountain with joy, awe and wonder about this new strange world before her.

The end.