Chapters -Signed, with Love and Faith, Luke Lustrous
Luna's horn was flared up in magic, levitating her crown onto her head, necklace onto her neck, and shoes onto her hooves.
A princess had to look royal in order to garner respect and compliance from her subjects, Celestia had told her when they were young.
She heard something, the strange hissing sound, like the sound of the leaves of several trees that were rustling simultaneously.
Looking out the open window, she found that a small cloud had entered the room, coalescing into a strange tubular shape.
Finally, the mist formed into a black scroll, carefully wrapped in a blue ribbon with a silver seal depicting a sword and shield.
The blue alicorn looked at the scroll, then to the window, then back to the scroll, it was still there and it was still a scroll.
"Odd, I wonder who messaged me, and with such an odd setup," she pondered as her horn lit up again, levitating the scroll up, unbinding it, and watching it unfurl.
It was written in silver ink to contrast the black parchment, it was a letter addressed to her.
Dearest Goddess Luna Nightstone,
I write you this letter in the hopes that one day, you may receive and read it.
You have chosen me to receive power over your domains of divine might, and that has made me live extensively in years of my already normally extensive life, as a Paladin to your serene beauty.
My body may be tested, but I am faithful beyond death, that has been my motto for all of the years of my Knighthood.
The hands that once held a sword of power and a shield of courage, now hold a pen of wisdom and a parchment of thoughts.
Unfortunately, time shall do unto me what no enemy could, it shall soon kill me, and I will see you soon, in the heavens.
Blood so silver Still silver by night Only death will~ Stop my fight
-Signed, with great love and eternal faith.
Saint Luke Lustrous the Evanescent, Paladin of Luna Nightstone, Goddess of the Night, amongst many things.
Circa: the 397th year of EI 24 Located: X=630, Y=250, Z=1000
"I... I don't understand what this means," Luna said in minor shock. Why had she received this letter? What was the point of this? What did this pony mean by '397th year of EI 24'? What are hands?
These coordinates made sense to her, she knew the global mapping system, and tonight's schedule was free of diplomats, courts, meetings, and other princessly duties, so why not travel to this place and find out who wrote the letter?
Extending her wings out fully, she took off into the night sky, flying quickly towards her destination.
-Some time later-
Luna was quickly approaching the coordinates, she was less than a mile away when she found a mountain was placed right where the coordinates led to.
"Well then, I suppose this stallion made a cave complex his base of operations," she deduced with hope, "I hope he has not already passed away, I truly do want to meet him."
Landing on an outcropping in front of a cave entrance, she looked around for any signs of activity.
Nothing, maybe this guy was living alone?
The lunar diarch entered the cave, casting a simple illumination spell to show the way. The spell immediately fizzled out, however she could still see in the dark, a rotted wooden plaque of ebony wood came into vision.
This place is for those who have Dark Sight only, all others please stumble out of here or feel my wrath. - Saint Luke Lustrous
Luna could see in the dark, so she continued further into the cave.
About fifty feet in, there was a right turn, then another right turn followed by a long staircase down, then a third right turn.
She came out into a massive underground chamber, the whole thing was beautiful.
A massive circle in the middle, carved and stained to look like the image of the Moon, surrounding it was several ebony bookshelves, each of them half-filled with books, scrolls, tomes, pamphlets, manuals, and a few magazines.
A large section of wall had been made flat and dedicated to dozens of posters, possibly this person's allies, each depicting a different bipedal being.
Name: Yolo Swaggins, half kender half hobbit, Rogue, died at Level 5.
Luna cringed at this next one, if whatever these things were aged like ponies, then this next being could be no older than nine.
Name: Drzz'l, dark elf, Gunslinger, died at Level 3
Several names later, she found a platinum-framed painting of another female, "This one looks familiar..." Luna pondered, looking at the name.
Her face fell.
Name: Tara Sparkle, earth elf, Mage, died at Level 9
"Oh my, how did this happen? None of these images tell me the method of their death, and this one is special, it looks a lot like young Twilight." Luna looked around, finding a desk sitting up against another section of wall.
She moved over to it and found a strange device emitting an arc of lightning that let off a bright lavender-blue glow, "Odd, I know for certain that lightning doesn't work that way, even magical lightning requires more energy than can be stored in such a small device," she looked right again, there was the doorway, it seemed that the whole room was lit with this strange devices.
"I need to get back to the task at hoof, Luke Lustrous! SAINT LUKE LUSTROUS!" the blue alicorn called out, her voice echoing in the chamber.
The princess of the night found something that had somehow evaded her vision before now.
A massive statue, about fourteen hooves tall, made of basalt, steel, silver, and cloth.
It was a massive bipedal figure, one hand held a massive sword, the blade alone was about twelve hooves long, the other hand held a large, about six hooves tall, shield.
The only thing that told her that this was only a statue was the fact that it showed no signs of life.
The shield was knight-style, a diamond shape with a flattened top, the rim was black and the body was dark blue, the body was adorned with a metal symbol of the moon that was completely accurate down to every last crater, a large star was positioned above the moon, and three new moons were in an arc going from the left side to the star, another arc on the right was made of full moons.
Luna felt a special connection with the shield, almost like it was part of herself.
The stand of the statue had a silver plaque attached to it, the words it held made Luna's blood run cold.
Here stands: Saint Luke Lustrous the Evanescent, Paladin of Luna Nightstone Level 20 Honor Guard (Knight), Level 20 Papalia de Clerico (Cleric)
An unstoppable man of honor, valor, respect, and wrath, commander of many, hater of few, carer for many, lover of one.
"The world may run on magic, but it is dominated by strength," - Luke Lustrous, warning his allies to be cautious with their HP.
"This sounds almost like a video game or something, when did h-" Luna's breath hitched when she saw the final line.
Born: 100 EI-24, Died: 400 EI-24
"He lived for three hundred years? How does one do that?" her mind was reeling from all of this information.
She was in a tomb carved into a mountain in the great north, reading the statue plaque of a Knight who was dedicated to her, and who lived for three hundred years in some weird time period.
Then the reality of the reason she was here hit her.
"I received a letter from a dead man," Luna realized, looking up at the large statue, "And his grave is a statue standing right in front of me."
The statue didn't say anything in response, because it was a fucking statue .
Author's Note
a 'hoof' in length measurement is six inches, so the statue is 7 feet tall, the shield is 3 feet tall, and the sword's blade is 6 feet long
I have, like, four other stories unpublished and being worked on, damn I have too many ideas and too few ways to execute them.
so here's chapter 1 of how many I choose to make, I already have everything I want to cover thought up in my mind, now I just have to write it.
hope the hook was enough, I hate my poor initiating style, any tips would be helpful.
love you all, see ya later.
Blood so Silver, Black by Knight
Luna looked around the room again, seeing everything in a new light. This wasn't a study, it was a tomb.
Casting a simple age detection spell on the statue, the lunar diarch made her way to one of the bookshelves.
"Let's see, Ryse of Emor, Mein Kampf, The Northshine Civilization, Dragon's Hold, History of Fantasia, Tales of the Adventures," she read the titles of the ancient books, grabbing the last one.
It was icy cold in the room, a simple spell revealed it to be about thirty five Fahrenheit, the air was odd too, it was heavy and Luna had to magically breathe to survive.
"It's... xenon gas, the lightning lights are discharging it, he went out of his way to make sure there were no fire lights apparently, and the lack of oxygen kills any microorganisms that would mold or rot the contents of the room," she deduced, opening the book she had selected.
The desk held several papers, diagrams of the complex suit of armor the statue was wearing, Luna took care to gently move them to the side before she put the book down.
Sitting in the comfortable desk-chair, the princess began reading:
-The Tales of the Adventures-
I remember my adventures like they were yesterday.
My first day as a Knight was quite easy, there were no attacks, no crises, nothing, it was just another normal day at Castle Crownsburg for everyone.
Despite my godly expertise, I came from tiny, tiny beginnings, I somehow avoided entering a single combat situation for 9 years, year four was when I was assigned to protect the Archmage's daughter, Tara Sparkle.
Tara and I became good friends, caring for each other almost like lovers, or maybe siblings, I don't know, those days are long gone as I write these words with my angelic hand.
I should explain something, I hated orcs, hated them more than anything in the world, I hated them because I was under the impression that I was a rape-child of my mother and an orc.
I was wrong.
I was the result of consensual sex between my orc mother Margaret the Pretty and a weary human male who stayed at her little inn.
As the result of such an act, I was a half-orc, with a large body and spike-tipped ears, I hid my face from the world underneath my black helmet, and I never took it off under my own will.
I'll explain that line later.
I was large, and strong, and I dominated the battlefield, leading my allies through dangerous situations with great expertise.
I just realized I am getting ahead of myself, let me take a step back.
So there I was, a half-orc Knight serving the Castle Crownsburg and fighting in the name of my goddess, Luna Nightstone, a Chaotic Good entity goddess, meaning she controlled an aspect of the world.
The Night.
That was an image of the heaven I went to once, but I'll get to that later.
A heaven where it was night, the most beautiful thing I could have imagined, I cannot even replicate the constellations of the stars, because I fear that attempting to do so and succeeding would cause me to die from being struck breathless.
So I served the night, and I got a lot of jokes about 'Knight of the Night' or just 'Night Knight', but those stupid assholes were... well... stupid assholes, their opinions held no weight in any way that mattered to me.
So I was with Tara, and we often visited the prisoners, finding it interesting to talk to people on the other side of the law.
It was one such visit that began the Order of the Strecont (stree-kont) Heroes.
We found that one of the prisoners, who had been mislabeled as Classless, was a Druid with the ability to turn into a cat, and had used this ability to escape through the cell bars.
His name was confirmed to be Talthos, and deciding that hundreds of minor counts of disturbing the peace wasn't worth the paper it was printed on, so we purged his file.
With fire.
I hate fire, it is against my religion, Luna uses ice, lightning, the ground, and the oceans, ice and the oceans are definitely against fire.
Talthos was promptly defenestrated for acting idiotic (it was through this that he got himself killed many times, being him, he had 9 lives)
He charged back up the stairs, only to get thrown out the window again, and then again, and finally he conceded and was led out of the castle with a pat on the back.
We were immediately interrupted by a drunk samurai Warrior who I had seen earlier in the bar during my and Tara's drinking night.
The Warrior's name was Hitoroki Batosi, a young man with adequate skills that didn't do much for him except lead him to believe that he would be able to handle anything.
Fate can shit on you if you roll low.
We heard a cold beat go by, and my precious shield, as well as some of the others' things, were gone.
The loss of my shield sent me into a frenzy, that shield was the most precious of several relics Luna would eventually bestow upon me.
That shield was the Barrier of Innocence, called that for 2 reasons.
1) one of her tenets was "Defend the Innocent and Slay the Guilty"
It had been my first time having sex, and it was magnificent, the shield was a sign of her trust in my faith.
Anyways, let's move on, shall we?
So the little Rogue was known as Mister Yolo Swaggins, he stood two feet tall, was the age of YOLO and the weight of SWAG (I later measured that 1 swag is equal to 50 pounds, so I weighed 6 swags, or 300 pounds, out of armor)
Funnily enough, despite seeming to be a cosmic prank, he was our MVPC for the first few days.
So the five-man band was together, the Order of the Strecon Heroes.
Then came the odd part, our mission.
Our first mission was entitled 'The Keep on the Shadowfell'
I can't recall it in great detail, so I'll outline what happened.
How amazing, the life of an adventurer.
We stopped a drug-dealing Necromancer known as Blackstar the Grim, who killed Hitoroki, and then Hitoroki successfully did a Death Defy, and we reported it back to the king.
Meanwhile, Talthos found a group of kobolds waiting for the delivery guy, he killed them with several summoned cats, all but one of them big, the last one a housecat.
We found him later and followed a red-dot sight to a goblin watching over a tiny ruined fort, we carried him along with us, as I trusted him, since goblins hate orcs like dwarves hate elves.
After nearly falling into a trap in a tunnel, I led us to the barracks of the Shadowfell Keep, inside was dozens of kobolds and goblins.
We killed them easily, next we made our way up and interrupted the meeting between Irontooth, the kobold king, and Mahoe-Gahny, the treant king.
We ended up burning Mahoe to death, and then we killed Irontooth and took his iron tooth, which Talthos found out the hard way that it was cursed.
After killing the two kings and successfully quelling the monster uprisings, I and my team returned to Crownsburg for a night of celebration.
Then came 'The Missing Man of Death' where we recovered the celebrity known as Chuck Norris, who had been mind-controlled by Blackstar the Grim, the Necromancer drug-dealer from the first mission. He had somehow prestiged into a Lich in only a day. After that we received a tip from some Steam Legionnaires (Steam Punks) about Orcus, the Warlord (Warrior) Mage.
We found his cult using a nobleman's son as a virgin sacrifice, now I know that usually (all the time) a virgin sacrifice is female, but this one was male because his body would become the base of Orcus' resurrection, and Orcus was male.
Orcus was temporarily revived with the power of magic and weapons, he used his own sub-reality to change the place into his own personal arena, however we killed what little remained of his army and then killed him, we took some of his stuff to decorate our Heroes' Room.
The Heroes' Room was a nice little anchor to sanity, it was basically a trophy room, inside which you could have anything, already I had hung up a forest tapestry, a 'Hero vs Kobold Army' tapestry, and now Orcus' cultists' candles, which were a nice gray color and burned with white light, an acceptable addition.
After that was The Lost Ones' Location , wherein we travelled to Hitoroki and his brother Rya Huyubasu's villages, a samurai village and a ninja village about two and a half miles apart, we also intercepted a dragon that was flying towards it to attack.
Then we found a portal that led to some place called 'Downtown Los Angeles', we drove in a really fast car for a little bit, then stopped a terrorist attack on a 'nuclear' power plant.
Fantasia was weird enough even without me being a Knight who had a goddess-given bPhone, with cars and guns and magic and kings all at once, it was crazy, but how could splitting atoms make enough energy to power things (much less be a threat) when they were so tiny?
Several adventures later, I finally met again with those little girls, the Class Matcher Crusaders, three little girls who wanted to be heroes like us.
Hitoroki told them to be Assassins, and they saved our hides in the 'Mountainspire Tower of Madness' mission.
Funny, I got this whole 100 page book ready to detail my life, and I can't even remember the most exciting parts.
Hitoroki finally died at Mountainspire, his soul temporarily inhabited his weapons and floated them into killing our enemies, but those Assassins.
They were so young, when we left them on that fateful day, they looked no older than 10 years old, but a year later, at Mountainspire, they looked 15.
A young angel girl named Scootaloo had become an Assassin/Hunter, I saw her spin around and throw a tomahawk that looped around and cut us all down (we'd been suspended five feet about the floor, hanging by one foot with some magical chains), then her dwarf friend, Applebloom, who had become an Assassin/Warrior, distracted three wolfmen while Sweetie Belle, a wood elf Assassin/Bard, used song magic to teleport herself behind the wolfmen and use Blade Bolt (a custom spell, it worked like a Magic Missile, but like a bullet rather than a bomb), the wolfmen died.
They accompanied us all the way to the top, where we found that the big bad evil guy for this massive building was a Demolitionist, we had to watch our steps, as the ground was covered in explosives.
After that, that came the most deadly mission of all, The Dead Men's Gold
It started with a skeleton crew manning a sky-pirate ship and attempted to raid Line City, home of the stick figures.
When we fought them off (Yolo finally died from being thrown off of the ship when it was a mile up in the air), we spent some time in Line City, quelling local crimes and helping repair the buildings.
However, when we returned, we found the king at the time, Donny Huehuehue the dwarf, worried about something.
He revealed that once-peaceful undead all across the land had started attacking the living, it was an uprising of some sort.
After clearing each of the seven cities (Fantasia was a small place, even the capital was only about 8 square miles) we returned to find none other than that recurring asshole, Blackstar the Grim, locked in combat with the guards outside the castle.
Forced to wait for him in the throne room, we finally fought him once and for all.
The windows were blocked by ashy smoke, this bastard could even control the cremated!
So then Blackstar goes on to tell us how he's reached Level 20, is the most powerful Lich in all the land, how he's actually the Lich King now, and how he was going to achieve Kinghood over Fantasia by challenging Donny to a fight to the death.
I saw through his game, and one surprise Necrotic Beam from him finally killed Rya, Talthos, and David (a Level 7 goliath Druid) and left only myself and Drzz'l, who was underleveled and scared.
I slashed at the fiend, and found that he had taken both the Phylactery of Life and the Phylactery of Soul, as with only one hit of my mighty sword, he fell, but then again I had gotten a critical which did the following equation:
(10 x 6 + 15) x 2 + (20 x 2), which I believe (if Tara's math lessons were worth anything) is 130, plus my massive STR bonus, which was 40, so 170 points of slashing/crushing, void, and holy damage (Luna's elements are Holy, Ice, Lightning, Necrotic, and Void).
The Lunar Juggernaut was my second most powerful sword, the blade was 108 inches long, 18 inches broad, and 3 inches thick.
However, the bastard used Empowered Magic Missile, and empowered it with Poison, Fire, and Necrotic, the thing blew up and killed Drzz'l, leaving only me facing the mighty Lich King.
After dozens of rounds of combat, me facing a whole army and him whittling me down, I had had enough of my 500HP being taken, I was Nigh Dead (1/8 HP, Peril is 1/4 and Bloodied is 1/2) so I did what any sane man would do.
I turned to religion.
Faithful Beyond Death, I still remember how it goes, it was my Oath of Valor (a Knights only thing).
The better the man is The lesser effort to wreck his enemies
No time to see their eyes and feel sympathetic Never regret it!
A true Knight never stays a blade. Never says "Touché" But would forever lay in blue rays of weather glades To demonstrate his never-ending dedication to the crusade
The only reformation will be through flames
Oh and my body may be tested But I never fear, for I am...
Faithful Beyond Death.
And I stared death in the eyes, and said "Not right now, maybe later."
I started going into the negatives, and he started tearing my armor to pieces, first he ablated my left shinguard and right shoulderguard, then melted my breastplate half off of me/half on me (some major fire damage), then he got up close when I was in an Anti-Ranged Attack stance, then tore away at my chainmail.
This onslaught continued, I was simply not quick enough to parry and attack him, as at the time I was Level 14, and I would develop such a skill when I next leveled up (I always did that, learning from what I've been through)
With my right hand missing, forced to levitate my shield with magic and use my sword in my left hand, I continued to fight (I had enough of a STR stat to use 3-handed weapons in 1 hand), as I would not die until after my enemy did.
The Lich King magically probed me, telling him everything about my physical well-being.
He learned about my eye.
Back in 'The Missing Man of Death', an orc shot me with an arrow and it hit me in my left eye, but being immune to Sight Debuffs, my right eye gained the power of two eyes.
He shot me through the head with a Soul Beam spell, ripping my helmet apart and removing all of the flesh on the left side of my head, luckily this was my useless left eye, rather than my still-working right eye.
Standing there, my cream color half-face exposed, my right ear was revealed, I am a half-orc.
With Tara remaining at my side, I charged the fiend one last time, casting the holy spell known as Part of Darkness, I easily located the Lich King's two phylacteries, his soul was in a sphere hanging inside his chest, his life force was in his crown.
I charged him, the Lunar Juggernaut raised high, he shot me in the other eye, but left the rest of the half of my face unharmed.
"Lich King, you have been," I paused to slice his body in half, releasing his soul and life force and killing him once and for all, "Dethroned, you weak-ass motherfucker," yes, I said the swears back then.
With my enemy down, my body's test was complete, and I fell to the ground, on the verge of death.
Tara was at my side, I could see her clearly, despite not having any working eyes.
She was so beautiful, so young, full of life and potential.
I was not, I was an ugly abomination half-orc who was about to die and had a completed life.
In my Dying Breath, I told her.
"I love you, Tara, and tell my mother that I love her too, I have done my duty for Luna," I said, and then with a cliche little "bleh" I died.
That was when things got better.
I appeared in heaven, my rended flesh restored with angelic tissues, my massive muscles strong once again, upon my back was a pair of angel wings.
And standing in front of me was my goddess, Luna Nightstone.
I would attempt to recreate her here, but I simply cannot copy perfection, so I will do my best.
She appeared before me standing 5 feet 9 inches with a small frame, if in the mortal plane, she would weigh no more than Tara, at 120 pounds.
Her hair looked as if cut from the night sky, dark blue with a field of stars twinkling within it.
Her dainty hands clutched a staff, the crescent staff, it looked to be made of divinified silver.
She made it vanish and merely looked at me with her wonderous teal eyes.
"You have served me well, brave Paladin of Wrath, I give to you, this, a sign of my good will to you," she reached into nothing and pulled out a silver skull with pointed teeth.
A few instructions later, She looked at me, I stood there wearing only my tabard, the rest of my armor (helmet included) had been torn to pieces during my battle with the Lich King
My tabard (the cloth thing I wear over my chest and back, its like the badass cousin of the apron) depicted the moon in its current phase, a magical spell changed the phase of the moon on my tabard to match the current phase of the actual moon.
The Barrier of Innocence, held in my mortal left hand.
The Divinity amulet, a symbol of my Clerichood.
The Tidal Speed amulet, it made me move with the swiftness of the waves of the ocean.
The Streaking Glass amulet had just appeared around my neck, yet another gift. It reflected any magic that wasn't necrotic, ice, or lightning, and healed me when attacked by those three elements. It looked like a plasma ball, but like a plasma cube.
The empty bottle of the Dream Elixir (it had been the first relic I received), it made me sleep 60 times faster, so a Short Rest was 5 seconds rather than 5 minutes and an Extended Rest was 6 minutes instead of 6 hours.
The Silver Skull gave me buffs by either kissing it for an attack buff or touching foreheads with it for a defense buff.
I then received the ability that I later became best known for, Evanescence, it was so associated with me that it became part of my Saint's title. With it, I could fade from sight at will, it was basically sanctified invisibility.
She put her small hand in my large one, looking up at me and locking her teal eyes with my blue ones, tracing the scar down my left eye with a finger, I touched the spot and found that it was gone.
She ran her fingers through my white hair (I suffered chronic stress prior to that moment, it really drained my melanin levels in place of adrenalin and dopamine), I felt my scalp tingle, and later looking in the mirror revealed that my hair was now speckled with tiny black stars.
Starfield, it allowed the casting of up to 100 times the power of a spell by creating little stars that would imitate the spell with the same results that you had.
"I bless you with these items, mighty Luke, I know you will use them well, now return to the world of the living, this Death Defy is free." she magically traced a circle in the air, filling it with several splotches that made it an image of her wondrous moon, and then cast me down to the mortal realm again.
I found myself landing at my own funeral, my old body had been wearing my restored armor, but since there can only be one of me, my corpse disintegrated, leaving my armor in the coffin.
"Well, um... *ahem* I am awake once again!" I proclaimed, and everyone present cheered.
As it turned out, the king at the time was so convinced of my worth that he contacted the Knights' General and the Pope (the top-ranked leader of 'The Omnitheistic Church of Universal Acceptance, it was the central church for the whole nation, as all religions were welcome, they existed to smite, bless, consecrate, saint, hallow, and sanctify things, it was how Clerics/Bishops prestiged into Papalia de Clerico/Bishop).
I just realized how long that parenthesized part was, damn...
Anyway, the Knights' General and the Pope gave their respects in the form of the Medal of Honor and my being dubbed a Saint.
So there I was, a living Medal of Honor recipient and Saint, I was revered and feared all across the nation, and extremely respected in every other nation as well.
I changed my presence of 'reverence and dread' to 'reverence and wonder', so that I would inspire others to be strong as well.
After all: the world may run on magic, but it is dominated by strength.
Luna simply flipped through several more pages, each containing very nice looking artwork of various scenes in Luke's adventures.
"I can't help but feel like I already kne-" *DING* "Oh, the spell has completed itself," she recognized, setting the book down and walking over to the statue again.
Grabbing the green ball, she saw it turn blue and shift around, displaying numbers.
"Alright let's see..." the blue alicorn's face fell.
According to her Age Measurement spell, this statue was about an hour over ten thousand years old.
The reality of the situation was grinding away at Luna's sanity, she was here in an ice-cold tomb filled with xenon gas, looking through books written by a man who'd died over ten thousand years old, and she's come out here in the middle of plot-fuck nowhere because of a letter written to her by the same dead guy.
"So... ten thousand years, huh?" she said to it, looking up at the helmeted head, "Well Luke, I'm here now, your goddess Luna Nightstone of the Moon among other things. So what do you want from me?" she demanded, her voice was a bit distraught.
The statue still didn't respond, as it was still a fucking statue.
Author's Note
chapter 2 here, enjoy it.
Yes, 'plot-fuck nowhere' as opposed to 'bum-fuck nowhere', I prefer bum to butt in the phrase, it just rolls off my tongue better than 'butt-fuck nowhere'
enough about fucking nowhere, new chapter.
more details on this mysterious guy
next chapter soon
love you all
keep on keepin' on
and remember: do drugs, stay out of school, don't eat vegetables, and never listen to me when I'm writing the outro line
Domination through Strength
-Tales of the Adventures-
So now here I am, too old to do battle with enough efficacy to do my duty, forced to learn magic shit.
I always hated the magic classes, they think they're soooooo powerful, well spells and fancy rituals can only get you so far, ya squishy bastards, in order to survive you need high STR and CON stats, lots of HP
Right now, at Level 20 Knight, I have an unbelievable 2500HP, enough to just about survive a single glancing blow from Thor's hammer.
Cleric powers are the only ones I trust, as my goddess is Chaotic Good, she doesn't bullshit me with omens and signs, she gives it straight and simple.
Chaotic Good can be best summed up by the statement "I'll do what I must to protect the land, even if that means destroying some of it."
Lawful Good is "I do out of my own will what others do out of fear of the law."
Neutral Good "I do what's best, and sometimes the world just doesn't know what's best for it."
Lawful Neutral "My goals do not coincide with yours, therefore I will neither help nor hinder you."
True Neutral "I answer to no thing and no person, I am the only one who's on my side."
Chaotic Neutral "I do what I want, when I want, how I want, why I want, and whoever doesn't like it can swerve away and fuck right off."
Lawful Evil "Just because I'm evil doesn't mean I can't follow the rules, I'll take over the world, but I'll do it the right way."
Neutral Evil "Morals mean nothing, I have desires to satisfy!"
Chaotic Evil "If you even think about crossing me, I will come down from the sky and tear your whole world apart."
Sorry, I went off on a tangent there, anyways, so the Cleric magics are the only ones I trust, and I think that while magic invokes weakness of body, it can play a supporting role in melee fights.
I am still a Knight first, and a magic user fifth, second is a leader, third is a man, and fourth is a religious person.
So Knight, leader, man, religious person, and magic user, in that order, going down the list from most important to least.
Still, my goddess tho.
Damn she's beautiful, I've consumed a keg of dwarven ale, so my words may seem choppy and nonsensical, but I speak more from my heart when I'm drunk.
The old days were just too much damn fun, but sadly I've had to hang up the biggest of swords in favor of some Castle Defense with the Void Zweihander for a while, my 6' long sword.
Luna closed the book, blushing brightly at skimming the next few pages and finding several raunchy details of things Luke wanted to do.
"So I'm here, what are you going to do then?" she demanded, addressing the statue again.
The statue merely stood there, like it would if it was a statue, which it was.
"I will not accept silence, I can tell that you are not really dead, so ANSWER ME!" the Royal Canterlot Voice boomed throughout the room, she looked up past the statue's head to finally see the ceiling.
It was covered in pictures of her human form, life-sized recreations, several of them, each of different poses and from different angles.
"I look amazing," the blue alicorn said in awe, looking at the next one.
The top one was of her holding a massive katana-type sword in one hand, the blade seemed about seven feet long, with a black blade that she detected was obsidian, and a sanctified silver body.
Her other hand held the Silver Skull, there were two pictures, the 'sword out' one, and one where the sword sagged to the ground in her dropped hand, the Silver Skull hand holding the aforementioned relic to her forehead.
The lunar diarch cast out a powerful detection spell, a small panel fixated to one area of wall began glowing, indicating something was weird about it.
She flew up and removed the panel and found a large brown burlap bag tied up by a thin golden rope.
Taking the bag with her hoof, she opened it and dumped out the contents.
The Silver Skull, the Tidal Speed amulet (which looked like a single wave of the ocean), the Divinity amulet, the Streaking Glass amulet, a much fancier black tiara, which she took up in her hoof.
Her current tiara was small and less than a proper testament to her powerful rank.
This new one was larger, stronger, with spiked arches and a much larger, brighter crescent moon.
The Domain Tiara, she equipped it onto her head.
--
When Luna came to, a check of the Time Orb told her she had been out for a few minutes.
Her mind was filled with new information, or was it old information?
A few health check-ups told her that she'd never had a hymen, not even when she was born, had it really gone to making that massive shield?
She had divine power and authority over a list of things: the Moon, the Night, dreams, oceans, ice, lightning, the ground, darkness, the Void, necrotic power, plenty of magics, tons of melee skills, and Guardianism, the concept of protecting others out of self-given obligations.
"I am Luna Nightstone, goddess of the Moon, among many things, you are Luke Lustrous, my Paladin, you have great divine favor, it is a shame that my reincarnation as a demi-goddess did not remember such things until now," she said to him, her voice slightly deeper and much more stable, she sounded a lot more mature this way.
The skull, the three amulets, a half-smoked glass doll that represented evanescence, the tiara was on her head, the katana and staff were nowhere to be found, the shield was in the statue's hand, an empty bottle in the shape of a large Z, a rectangular device with strings coming out of it that she identified to be some sort of cellphone with earbuds plugged in, and finally a pair of glasses.
She looked at these, the lenses were dark cyan, the frames were silver, and the little screws and arm-pads were black, they looked relatively normal.
Looking normal and being normal were two different things, Luna knew, and her new swarm of knowledge told her the truth.
Nightmare Vision, a pair of glasses that made one twice as large with five times as much power, however they could be worn for no more than a minute and left the user on the brink of total exhaustion when removed.
"I wonder... no, I will not go down that road again." Luna dropped the glasses to the floor.
She flew up to the helmet of the statue, scrutinizing it, as a whole, it seemed more like a ponnequin than a statue, the armor hung far too naturally for even the most masterful of sculptors, but it was just too weird.
Luna felt increasingly uneasy as time passed on with this mysterious construct, she would call it a construct until further information could be gathered.
Grasping the helmet with the need to test something, she pulled up.
The helmet slid off, revealing the face of the Paladin.
He indeed had deep, dark blue eyes, cream-colored skin, and long white hair that held black sparkles, it looked like it had once been short-cut. but had been allowed to grow a bit.
Overall it looked something like that celebrity who played Captain Equestria.
His ears were orcish, with pointed ends on both the top curves and lobes of both of them.
Her uneasiness only grew as she stared at his deadpanned face.
"I know not what you wished to do when you sent me that letter all those years ago, but I will find out," she vowed, almost wanting the statue to respond as she flew around the room on the search.
--
"Let's see, this looks interesting," the blue alicorn mused as she levitated over a scroll tied up with a ribbon printed with a music-bar pattern.
Unfurling it, she found it was a song.
A sound illusion spell came from the scroll, playing it.
Daylight's End
Ask not the sun, why she sets
Why she shrouds her light away?
Or why she hides her glowing gaze?
When night turns crimson, gold, to gray
For silent falls the guilty sun. As day to dark does turn One simple truth, she dare not speak Her light can only blind and burn
No mercy for guilty Bring down liars and tyranny
Blood so silver, black by night Upon their faces, pale white
...
Cruel Moon, bring the end The dawn will never rise again.
"The moon will rise... the night will last forever," she read, remembering the words clearly.
Those were the very last words she said to her sister before their battle a thousand years ago.
"I will not be a nightmare again," she said angrily to the statue, "You won't influence me into becoming that again!" she shouted, on the verge of lashing out.
This... thing merely stared at her, it had done nothing to garner her wrath.
"*sob* Oh why can't I just accept that I have a follower?" it was hard being considered 'the lesser of the two sisters', especially when that meant that most ponies would prefer, even in the middle of the night, to see Celestia rather than herself.
"I'm sorry, *sniff*, you are one of the scant few that deserve my kindness, and I've crushed up your trust and faith and thrown it back in your face, I'm sorry," she apologized, her mental stability crumbling.
Hugging the construct around its large, muscular midsection, she cried for several minutes.
--
"Wait, why am I being such a weak-ass little bitch about this?" she finally asked herself, looking at the construct's face, "What that your plan all along? To break me down so that my weakness could drain away? It must be, I wish you could have told me that, but I suppose if you did, then it wouldn't have worked," the lunar diarch deduced, smiling, "Thank you, I've needed that, something to shock me back into my rightful place, the position of a true princess."
She turned from the statue, now that she knew where this place was, she could teleport here.
Granted she could have done that before, but it was risky, as she could have ended up appearing in the middle of stone
The statue said nothing to her as she teleported away, because it was a fucking statue , that hadn't changed in the last half-hour.
-Back at Canterlot-
Luna appeared in her bedchambers, the first thing she did was check the time, it was almost time for dawn, so it was time for Celestia to wake up.
Flying out of the window again, the lunar diarch flew to her sister's tower, entering through the window.
*creeeeeeeak* went the window's hinges.
"Sister, wake up, it is time for the dawn," the blue alicorn announced, prodding the solar diarch harshly.
"Mmm... mhmm?" Celestia was barely awake, she didn't want to get up.
"If you can't get up in time, then I guess the night can last longer, seeing as how the day seems to be lazy," Luna was about to depart when Celestia shot up in her bed, scrambled over to Luna, grabbed her cheeks, and looked into her eyes.
"...... sister GET OFF MY FACE!" Luna rebuked, slapping the white alicorn away.
"Okay, good, you're not Nightmare Moon again," Celestia sighed in relief.
Luna stopped for a second, letting the implications of that statement make themselves known in her head.
"Do you really trust me so little that when I joke about the night lasting a little longer, you immediately think that I've returned to being Nightmare Moon?" the blue alicorn interrogated, sounding very angry.
The key to being Chaotic Good was to know when to and when to not act on impulse, and Celestia just acted on impulse when she shouldn't have.
"I... uh..." in all her three thousand years of life experience, Celestia never prepared herself from such a question.
"Because it sounds like you really have a depressing lack of faith in me, I know someone who is faithful to me beyond even death itself, and yet an old dead guy trusts me more than my own flesh-and-blood sister? That doesn't seem right," Luna reprimanded, backing her sister against the wall.
"Who have you met that said that?" Celestia asked, a bit nervous
"His name was once famous across all of the world, but is now just a whisper in the wind, a whisper that I have heard," the lunar diarch explained, staring hard at her cowering sister.
"Luna, what did I say about listening to the voices in your head?" the white alicorn stood up again, trying to salvage some control over the situation.
"It is not a voice in my head. Listen to me, if you refuse to communicate on my level, Celestia, I will communicate on yours," Luna's horn flared up with magic.
"Luna, what has happened to you?" Celestia shrank back in fear.
"I gained a mighty power, the power of self-respect, I will not be treated like a second-class noble any longer," the blue alicorn proclaimed, summoning her personal items.
Luna's Zanbato and the Crescent Staff.
"I demand only respect and love, both of which I rightly deserve," the younger sibling informed, setting her sword and staff down.
"I... I understand, but it is out of my power to make the ponies love you more," Celestia admitted, looking down in fear.
"Well then, I want an apology," Luna decided, it was better to have something than nothing.
"An apology for wha-" *SMACK*
"You DAMN WELL know WHAT , I want an apology for the countless times that you've proved that you just don't trust me,"
"I... I can't, Luna, what has caused you to act this way? You're much more chaotic and impulsive, I advise that you stop going down this path, because I fear that along the way you'll revert back to Nightma-" *SMACK*
"I am NOT impulsive , and I smacked you because you're being STUPID, and I'm not EVIL! I will not go down the path of Nightmare Moon again, this new path is one that will lead to righteous glory." Luna sternly corrected.
"What, though, Luna, has caused this sudden change of heart?" the white alicorn insisted.
"Who, not what, Celestia, and he is faithful to me beyond even death, I visited his tomb, and therein I found confidence, confidence that I will not let be marred by a lack of rightfully deserved respect," the lunar diarch explained, dismissing her sword and holding her staff out
"Luna, listen to me, I forbid you from visiting this tomb again, it is instilling a great madness in you, you've never acted like this before," the solar diarch stood again, stepping forward slightly.
Luna backed away slowly, glaring at her sister harshly.
"Celestia Morningstar," Celestia cringed at hearing her full name, "If you want to end up like mother, then keep acting like her," Luna threatened, her magic at the ready.
Celestia froze in place, she knew what had happened to their mother, one day she simply vanished, leaving nothing but memories behind.
Luna backed away to the window and got into a hover, "I will continue to visit the tomb as I see fit, you do not know where it is and you cannot stop me from teleporting away," to prove her point, Luna teleported away.
-Back at the tomb-
Luna appeared in a flash of dark blue energy and a cloud of stardust.
She looked up at the statue, "I did it, Luke, I did it, I gave Celestia a piece of my mind, she's probably too afraid to bother me anymore." the teal-eyed mare gushed giddily, "Thank you for giving me the confidence to do that, you really are the best follower I ever had."
The blue alicorn. flew up to look at the ceiling, admiring the artwork of her in a human form, "I wonder..." she pondered, putting a hoof to her chin in thought, "It can't hurt to try," she decided.
Her magic flared up again, and suddenly her body was covered in dark blue light.
The energy whirled around her, changing her shape as she slowly floated to the ground.
Dark blue magic exploded from her, revealing her transformed body.
Luna was in human form, looking the same as the pictures she had seen.
"Wonderful, it worked," she said, admiring her body first-hand.
Her frame was slender but strong, her whole body felt like a layer of fine silk over solid steel.
Relishing all of the new feelings, the pale-skinned woman felt her powers adjusting to her new body, giving her a rushing sensation that made her feel satisfied.
There was no horn on her head anymore, but her left hand had the full moon on the back, the right had a new moon on the back.
She stood five feet and nine inches, just like the Paladin had written.
Her wings were still present and fully functional, though she lacked a cloak like the picture in the book, she still wore the sleeveless dress like in the ceiling pictures, in trailed down to a diagonally cut bottom, so the left side went down to her ankles while the right side only went down to just below her knee.
The cold stone floor did not deter her, nor did the chilling air, she was immune to such things.
"Well, my wonderful Paladin, I am in my original form, the one you so lovingly detailed, so tell me, what have you to say to me?" she asked.
The statue didn't respond, as it was still a fucking statue , that hadn't changed in the past ten minutes.
Author's Note
so, next chapter soon, then the final chapter.
I write this with passion
I love you all.
Remember: do drugs, stay out of school, don't eat vegetables, and don't listen to me when I write the outros.
His last Apology and Testament.
A small series of buttons on the statue's base activated music, Luna selected one of them and went back to her explorations.
Sitting in the desk chair again, Luna used her fingers to turn through the pages of Tales of Adventures, she reached the last page with words on it, which was also the second-to-last page in the book.
-Tales of Adventures-
I now look into the night sky, searching for an answer to my plight.
Oh dear Luna, forgive me.
I would have never thought it could have ever ended like this, today I was reminded the hard way that I am a vanguard, not a general.
I just cant explain, I don't know why I did this, but all of my allies are dead again because of me.
All I can say is, I'm sorry to all of you, and please forgive me Luna.
How could I have been so foolish!? I should have never stopped keeping between them and the enemy.
I brought this upon them, oh... just... how could I just send them to fight?
It's my utter dismay.
So many years to now spend alone, how could I let them all die?
--
Now I finally realize, that all I needed was to keep loving the beautiful, star-filled night
But they only loved the clear blue day sky, such blindness.
All I can say is, forgive me Luna.
My masterful hands, no longer carry sword and shield.
Now armed with pen and paper, it's just a blank field.
I wish I could turn back the clock, and fix all of my mistakes.
All I needed to do was just try harder.
Fight with all it takes.
Maybe then Hitoroki wouldn't have died three times in a day.
Maybe then Yolo wouldn't have gotten smashed against that wall.
Maybe Rya wouldn't have gotten his neck crushed.
Orcus would have been slain.
Irontooth would fall.
And Mahoe wouldn't have burned.
The Lich King would have never risen.
Talthos would still have 9 lives.
And poor, dear Tara my girl... would still have her amethyst eyes.
But I found myself at a cross-road.
All the conflict just built up, no time to rest.
And in the end, even though I did my best...
... I failed
All those things that I said to them
All seemed so trivial and justified back then.
But now im on my own, oh why couldn't I just understand
That I was pushing away my friends?
All I ever wanted was to be a Paladin.
To be someone of great honor and reverence.
But I ended up being the asshole in the situation.
In my harsh attempts at deterrence
I just needed someone like Tara, just someone who really cared.
But I've just let go of... all the memories that we shared.
Luna had somehow managed to organize the messy field of single lines into a coherent procession of storyline, and found great sorrow and regret put into these words.
"Oh my, dear Luke, you don't have to worry, there are thousands of mistakes made every day, and many end in deaths, your mistake was just one in a crowd." she assured the dead man, looking up at his blank face.
She looked at the next page and found it to be a small painting of Luke and all his allies.
With the book finished, she stood up and stretched, walking around to the back of the statue to get a full view of it.
The starry-haired princess found a plaque on the back of the base, which read.
From ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
From honor to glory
And iron to rust
From hate to bloodshed
And rise to fall.
I must ask: if I never am at risk to die, am I even alive at all?
"Oh Luke, you are alive, er... were alive, you've been dead for a long time now, but you were alive at some point in the past!" Luna attempted to reassure, before realizing that the statue was just a statue.
The teal-eyed goddess looked to the wall, and finally found the answer to that question that had been bugging her.
A poster read:
It's here!
The 400th year of EI-24 (evil iteration 24)
400 years of living in fear of the 24th generation of evil.
Heroes have risen and protected us, so we honor the ones still alive:
Saint Luke Lustrous the Evanescent, Paladin of Wrath to Luna Nightstone, goddess of the Moon, among many things.
Come to the celebration in Crownsburg on January 1, 400.
"So there used to be generations of evil that oppressed the world? Odd, I wonder what happened to all of these fantastic creatures..." she looked above one of the bookshelves to see a cage door leading to a wall-rack of items.
Opening the door, which was unlocked (probably only Luke knew how to reach it normally, but Luna could fly up to it), she saw a plethora of items hung up in a large alcove.
The twelve-hooves long sword was still held by the statue, but in here was a six-hooves long and an eighteen-hooves sword, the first named 'Knight's Sword (black)', the second named 'Lunar Juggernaut'.
As well as Luke's own equipment, there were many other weapons hung up. A battle-axe was hanging up, labeled 'The Executioner (held by David)'. A repeating crossbow called 'The Pincushion (held by Gracker)'. A tooth-white sword with a gray gem lodged into the handle called 'Dragon Sword (held by Rya Huyubasu)'. A twin-bladed katana called 'The Blessed Skull (held by Hitoroki Batosi)'. A pair of double-edged shortswords with the bodies of the blades removed called 'The Aero Blades (held by Yolo Swaggins)'. A pair of mahogany wood daggers with titanium edges called 'Kingwood Daggers (held by Talthos)'. A revolver with a red chamber, white frame, and blue grip, called 'The Wrangler (held by Johnny S. Miller)'. A set of six rings called 'The Coverage (held by Tara Sparkle)'.
And so much more in there, Luna looked up and read the title plaque, it was engraved with the words 'Battle Memories' in the same typeface as all the other plaques.
Stepping out of the alcove, Luna saw that there were still many more books to look through.
--
Ryse of Emor told the tale of the Emorians, a people of great glory and power that took over a huge region of land, but eventually collapsed because of the sheer overwhelming amount of their enemies combined with the loss of too many high-ranking soldiers.
Mein Kampf was a wonderful and inspirational story written by one of Luke's allies, Rel'Tih Floda, a high-elf Cleric of Lieh Geis, the high-elf god of glory.
At least, wonderful and inspirational to high elves, to all others (including her) it was a horrible and slanderous book that was essentially two hundred and fifty pages of the words "Fuck you" directed at every other species in the world
However, the second book, Mein Erkenntnis, was just as poor-quality, as it was essentially two hundred and fifty pages of the words "I'm sorry" directed at every other species in the world.
Fantasia was apparently the country that Luke was from, and judging from the map, this mountain was somewhere in the northern region of that country, near Northshine, a city carved into a glacier.
Following the book, Luna decided to look around the area, apparently Fantasia was a small country the map saying that the capital was less than eight square miles as a sprawling city.
Granted, Canterlot was about a tenth of a square mile, but it was attached to a mountain, so there wasn't a lot of room without dangerously tall support struts, as it was a mile above the ground.
Flying west, Luna found a large abandoned platform attached to part of the massive glacier, she landed on it.
The stone was extremely cold, even under mid-day sun, but her bare feet weren't affected by it, she found that in her dress-pockets was a pair of cobalt shoes, which fit comfortably around her still-new extremities.
*clack clack clack clack clack* went her shoes as she stepped through the seemingly blown-out streets.
"What happened to this place?" its destruction seemed to have happened long after Luke's death.
Feeling a bit uneasy, she teleported back to the tomb.
--
Appearing back in the tomb, the pale-skinned woman flew back up into the 'Battle Memories' section
Looking at 'The Coverage', she scrutinized each ring.
A white-gold one engraved with holy words, Ring of Divines.
A smoked-steel one with a skull charm, Ring of Necromancers.
A wooden one with a bright-green thorn, Ring of Druids.
A bone-carved one with a tiny glass ball filled with liquid, Ring of Shamans.
A wire-twisted one with a treble clef charm, Ring of Bards.
A gold one with an amethyst starburst charm, Ring of Arcana.
Selecting the last one, a simple Probe spell told her that it gave immunity to all magics.
That would also include healing magics, but the starry-haired princess doubted she'd ever need healing magic.
Feeling safer, she teleported back to the Ruins of Northshine.
--
Appearing back in the desolate city, Luna looked around again, still no signs of lif-
WAIT! What's that noise?
She looked over to witness a strange sight.
A crystal gently floated out of a nearby building and began moving southward.
"What the fuck?" Luna pondered, flying to follow the gem quietly and quickly.
It seemed to get faster and faster, the gem, and she saw a massive grouping of them all floating towards the same unseen location.
The lunar diarch gazed out at the destination, it looked like a castle in the distance, though it looked about as decrepit as the Castle of the Pony Sisters.
Flying over and around, she saw huge amounts of energy visibly resonating from the structure, heating the stone to red-hot and making all of the gems shine like stars.
It was horrifying, then, to see each and every one of these beautiful colored stars explode, their remains speeding into the building through countless holes torn through the thick stone walls.
"AHAHAHA! HAHAHAAAAA! YES, I HUNGER NO LONGER!" an insane voice laughed.
Luna bravely entered the castle's front doors, quickly finding the way to the throne room.
"Decay by time, obscuring truth, let the old and rotten, return to youth," a sickly old man chanted, his gray hair and dead eyes suddenly changing to russet-brown hair and lively bright-red eyes.
Luna felt slightly at ease, everypony knew that bright-red eyes meant good, same with bright-blue eyes, in fact the only eye-colors that were evil were very dark shades of colors and pure white.
"Someone approaches! I will not let anyone intrude on my kingdom!" the insane man roared, standing up with torn and worn-out clothes, his shoes turning to dust as he took a few steps towards her, now standing on the edge of the dais, "I sent the Kingdom of Fantasia into the depths of Hell, I can deal with a single adventurer." he boasted, and judging from his nigh-overwhelming auras, he wasn't lying.
"You are a Mage, no?" Luna asked, not threatened by this weirdo.
"I am the most powerful War Mage ever, none can escape my infinite-range magic! Who are you, young woman? Why have you intrude on King Gander's kingdom? Don't you know that court is in an hour? Showing up early is a crime punishable by death!" he cackled madly, running a hand through his filthy hair and setting his hand on fire with it covered in grease, "That which creeps, which crawls, or which moves not, let all things before me writhe and rot!" the mad mage yelled the spell and fired a spray of blood-red energy at the goddess of the night.
Luna was unaffected, as the Ring of Arcana made her immune to any and all magics.
Upon seeing that his spell had failed, King Gander hastily tried to equip a pair of brass knuckles, but was stopped by a heavy *thunk* sound.
That sound was caused by Luna's Zanbato flying towards his chest, and then piercing straight through his heart.
"I am undone," he grunted in pain, "Let my eternal battle finally end here," he fell over dead, Luna's Zanbato sticking all the way through him.
"Bah, mages, they think they're sooooo powerful with all of their spells, but true strength comes from..." Luna trailed off, had she really let Luke's life influence her so much?
"True strength comes from high Strength and Constitution," she said to the corpse, standing over it and retrieving her sword.
The corpse didn't respond, as it was a fucking corpse.
-Some time later, back at the tomb-
"So, Luke, I have done what you did, and I feel amazing, I feel like... I feel like a thing of power. Thank you for your inspiring me to act strong." Luna flew up to the face of the statue.
Odd, she could have sworn that the helmet had been off of his face.
Removing it again, she looked inside it, seeing a timer that was counting down from ten minutes.
"Auto-return armor? Impressive, such an enchantment is very hard to do properly." the teal-eyed goddess commended, putting the helmet on the floor and staring into his eyes.
They were still that same ocean-blue, a bit dark and kinda green, but very nice to look to look at.
She stared at him for a few more minutes, then thought about the whole situation.
"I do wonder... no... it can't be possible," she stared at him, this whole room finally made sense, the lightning lights and the icy-cold air with no oxygen to decay things, "This isn't a tomb at all, it's a magical cryogenic chamber!" she finally figured it out.
"So I must know, if you're supposed to be so old, why do you look so young when you're just frozen in time?" she asked curiously.
The statue didn't respond, even though it was just Luke frozen and not an actual statue, it still didn't respond.
Because Luke was still cryogeni-fucking-ally frozen.
Luna swore that she would unthaw him.
Somehow.
If she knew how, she would do it.
But she didn't.
"Well I suppose there are old royals and reckless royals, but there are no old reckless royals, so I'll figure this out." the pale-skinned goddess vowed to her Paladin.
If he could force himself to live for three hundred years to serve her, then she could spare at least a few days to help him.
Author's Note
After all, who needs to fear death when you have divine favor?
Anyways, onto the usual author's notes notes:
Rel'Tih Floda, Cleric of Lieh Geis, in case you couldn't tell, Adolf Hitler of Sieg Heil.
Mein Erkenntnis is supposed to mean 'My Realization', but translators may be unreliable.
So, yeah, I wrote in an old and self-youthing villain and killed him off immediately after, because I am clever and smirt.
Next chapter is the last in this little tale, then comes the sequel.
Love all of you, remember: do drugs, stay out of school, don't eat vegetables, and don't listen to me when I write the outros.
Luna had been searching for hours, but still there was no hint to how she could save him from his frozenness
However, her mental uneasiness grew as a unsettling music track began playing from the base of the statue.
Feeling fearful of the mighty form of the Saint, standing there frozen in place, Luna felt a compulsion to say something.
Her mind blanked, she couldn't think of anything to say.
With no words in her mind, she simply turned to a stack of small scrolls and began reading them to calm down.
-Divine Order-
By order of the Pope, leader of The Omnitheistic Church of Universal Acceptance, the Paladin of Wrath to Luna Nightstone, Luke Lustrous, is hereby Sainted as a consecration of himself on the grounds of his noblest of acts.
Saint Luke Lustrous is also pre-approved to become a Papalia de Clerico when the time comes for him to advance as such.
This order is divine in nature and therefore cannot be revoked, repealed, cancelled, vetoed, or any other attempts at nullification by any mortal being.
-Signed, with respect for the dead.
Pope Antonio Miguel IV, of year 312 of EI-24.
-Military Order-
We are pleased to inform you that Sir Luke Lustrous, Honor Guard (Knight) of Level 14, is hereby awarded the most prestigious of military honors in the world.
The Medal of Honor.
As with many, this is being awarded posthumously, but fear not, for that fact does not mitigate the glorious achievement of receiving the highest of recognitions from the military system.
We hope that you feel thusly satisfied with this, the actual physical medal itself will arrive the same day as this letter.
-Signed, with respect for the dead.
General Jonathan Marking of the Fantasia Knight Forces.
-From the desk of one of the Steam Legionnaires-
We recently heard of our good friend, Luke Lustrous' death, everyone has many tears to shed over this travesty.
We knew him as a noble man, he helped us infiltrate the Necromancer's Guild once, stopped their blasphemous acts against natural life.
We have dubbed him an honorary member of the Steam Legion.
May the bronze never wear, may the brass prevent tear, may the tin conduct well, may the iron send them back to hell.
-Signed, with utmost regards
Lord Vladimir Boxwell, leader of the Steam Legion
-We ain't quit sur haow to writ-
BARBARIANS, HO!
Fncy Nite guy Lak Lusty is gud man, we no, we seen im, his sord kewl.
We herd he ded, we cry lots, brav sole hard 2 com buy, we likd him.
Tak dis axe, we mad it 4 im, ar smrtest guy namd it.
Bag uv Olding hav it.
= Sined by Masta Blud Mongril Urist Meadbeard.
Hello again Luke, it's David, y'know, the college goliath?
They inducted me into their order, and I can't really do much here, I have a masters degree in aeronautical science, I was going to be a helicopter pilot, not this.
I only ever was a Barbarian to facilitate my gathering of funds to go to college, and I'm glad that I left before I died too much, can't deal with that much at such a young age.
I forged a battle-axe for you, the others insisted that I made the axe while they write the letter, even though I'M the one who can write well
-Signed, with little room left on the paper
Former Barbarian, Future Pilot, David the goliath.
Luna smiled, it was nice to see that such a wonderful man had received the respect he was due.
"And still, after ten millennia, you stand there and await duty to call you again. Diligence like that deserves reward," she said gently, coming closer to him.
She puckered her lips to kiss him, and came in closer.
Closer...
Closer........
Cloooooseeeeerrrr.................
Clooooooooossssseeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr..........................................
*pad* her lips only touched hard, cold metal, sticking to the surface of Luke's helmet as it appeared back on his head.
Gingerly removing her face and then the helmet off of him, the lunar diarch tried again.
Pucker lips, get closer.
Closer closer closer.
"Decay by time, obscuring the truth, let the old and rotten, return to youth," she whispered past her puckered lips, closing the distance between them.
Finally she met his flesh, their lips pressed together for several seconds as she kissed her Paladin, signifying her trust in him.
Something started happening, first the lightning-lights went out, leaving the room in complete darkness.
A new song started playing as the floor lit up.
The image of the moon, glowed bright white light, showing that the tarnished metal base was collapsing with each hammer-strike sound.
Finally, the Knight was lowered to the floor, the rubble that was the base disintegrating into nothing.
--
Breathing in life again, Luke looked around with his Dark Sight again, he was in his tomb, and standing in front of him was his goddess, Luna Nightstone.
He didn't speak, as his vocal chords hadn't fully rejuvenated yet.
Looking at his shield, then at his goddess, he held his shield in one hand and the Void Zweihander in the other.
Stepping far back, he did a simple 'swish-swish, spin-spin-spin-sheath'.
"Hehe, you looked a bit like Link in the latest Legend of Celestia game, what was the title again? Legend of Celestia: Princess Twilight," Luna recalled, giggling a bit before looking at the massive man again.
Luke cleared his throat, putting his helmet back on his head.
"Your holiness, I breathe life once again, I feel youth and energy, have you bestowed this upon me?" he inquired in a polite but casual tone.
Deciding to play along for the time being, she cleared her throat, "That is correct, I have brought you back to life, there is much for you to do, great Saint, much to do," Luna answered, gesturing towards the stairs, "Come, let us fly from here, we'll be heading south, the world has changed a lot since your lifetime."
"A fine goal, truly there is a nation to the south that needs help, help that I am completely obliged and willing to provide." the black-speckled-white-haired juggernaut led the way up the stairs, holding his shield out in front of him, "This is standard procedure, so please, Luna, stay behind me," he directed, cautiously stepping up the stairs.
"Noble as always, Luke, noble as always, one of the reasons I am so partial to you." the starry-haired woman chimed, giving a giggle as he led the way all the way to the large outcropping in front of the cave.
*CLANK-CLACK, CLANK-CLACK* went his boots, making extremely loud noises.
"Luke, how can simple boots make that much noise, please remind me," the small-ish woman queried, leading the way through the sky
"I weigh three hundred pounds out of armor, seven hundred pounds in armor, if I didn't make noise it would defy the law of conservation of energy, unless my boots turned red-hot with every step, and such a kinetic-to-heat transformation is impossible under normal circumstance unless the kinetic energy is being put into torque, say that of a car grinding on its rims. So with this impossibility taken into account, my boots' hitting the ground converts kinetic energy into sound." he explained at length, somehow flying perfectly fine with four hundred pounds of armor on.
"I... understand... WELL, I must say, it is wonderful to see you again." Luna was recalling ancient memories of meeting Luke face-to-face when he had died after killing the Lich King, and when he had gone to heaven after his final death.
"My self-observation has told me that my body has been reverted to a point only a few days after the Battle of the Lich King, so I still have all three Death Defies, because you gave me a freebie. Excellent. I can't wait to reach this new country, no doubt being crushed by liars and tyranny. There will always be innocents in the world, and I will always protect them, no matter what," the black-armored hybrid vowed, giving his sword a swing.
"Yes, now remind me, what did I do when you arrived the first time?" Luna queried, she knew she was going to have to set the record straight eventually, but for now the pleasantries hadn't been completely dealt with.
"I was about half a body, therefore I was restored, you restored me using the tissues of angels. So I am now one quarter human, one quarter orc, and one half angel, a fine combination, my eyes see all, and all will know my power, either the easy way," he made a gesture like a camera snapping a photo, "Or the hard way," he cracked his knuckles, "But I would never intentionally harm an innocent, however failures happen eventually, and I might accidentally shock someone, or frost them, but it is never intentional. Everything is just a roll of the dice." he explained, recalling hearing that last sentence in his early youth.
"I remember now, it was a boon to see you face-to-face, but it was such a misfortune that our first exchange started off with you being only half of yourself. I digress though, we are approaching the nation I mentioned, and there are some things I need to clear up," the pale-skinned woman pointed to the Castle Canterlot in the distance.
"I am listening, you have always been honest and straightforward with me before, Luna," the Paladin replied, making an 'open ears' gesture.
Landing on the balcony of her bedchambers, Luna led the huge adventurer inside.
"I must say, this seems a bit sudden, your holiness," the chivalrous man said, looking around the room.
"I... what... oh, no, no I didn't mean anything by this, this is just my room in the castle,"
"I can tell by the Night-themed décor." Luke had one of the highest WIS stats he'd ever seen, he hadn't lived to be so old by being idiotic.
"Yes, but, there have been more changes than you might have thought," the starry-haired princess began casting her magic.
The holy swordsman took a few cautionary steps back, avoiding the emanations of magic.
When the energy burst away, Luna stood before him in pony form again.
"... So let me guess, the world as I knew it ended?" he asked.
"About ten thousand years ago."
"As time passed, the old civilizations crumbled to dust?"
"It seems as such."
"Everyone I knew is dead?"
"Unless that Talthos guy is still alive, yes."
"And now I'm living in a world run by things like ponies, unicorns, pegasi, and alicorns?"
"Well, I can understand the whole world being against me," he drew his sword and tapped the blade on the floor, "It wouldn't be fair otherwise," he sheathed his sword again, "But I am in a world where all the humanoid things have been replaced with equine-esque things?" the brave Knight queried.
A lot was riding on the answer to this question, the answer, and only the answer to this question would determine his next action.
"Well, yes, yes you are," the blue alicorn answered, and Luke's course of action was sealed.
"Okay then, if you'll excuse me for a moment," the Paladin dismissed himself.
Luke took a step back.
He saluted
"Ohhhhhohhhh." and he fainted.
"A bit dramatic, but I can understand, so many new things to see, so many new places to go, so many new people to meet, and so many new possibilities to check out," Luna said in a cheerful tune.
The Paladin didn't respond, as he was fucking unconscious.
Author's Note
And so, as the man who faced orcs, dragons, orcs, undead, orcs, undead orcs, and sided with warriors, thieves, steampunks, the church, the military, and many more wacky and random allies, this leg of his journey shall end.
But in every book, the end of one chapter leads to the beginning of another.
Stay tuned for the sequel, which at this time I have not named.
A bit of a sudden ending, but what was I supposed to do?
I love you all.
P1: Remember: do drugs, stay out of school, and don't eat vegetables.
P1: And don't do anything the previous line told you to.
P2: Keep on rocking.
P3: I'm watching out for you.
P4: Keep on drawing happy.
P5: do what you like.
P6: and uh... act intelligently.
*shut-down sounds*
