Author's Note
derpy Ok this is me and my friends first fanfic and i'm not a smart pony so I hope you enjoy me and my friend had fun writing it. My friend’s fimfiction is TabularSolid0.
Hello this is TabularSolid0 I just need to say that me and my friend have worked hard on this story and we hope you enjoy it.
Prologue
Prologue
At this exact point in time, and if you felt like it, you could follow me past an old, metal, and eroding gear-shaped door with faded yellow paint that had been carefully brushed years ago into the shape of the number “27” that is the entrance to a society of cave-dwelling (but relatively civilized) multi-colored creatures named ponies. You’ll notice that this metallic hole in the ground -- or Stable as the propaganda of the old world would insist you call it (and penalize you with a copious amount of drugs if you refused) -- is depressing as all get-out.
Middle-aged parents put on fake smiles to lie about their depression to their equally miserable co-workers.
The elderly drink copious amounts of apple whisky because they don’t need to lie anymore.
The children dress in black, oversized suits that they stole from the Stable’s laundry, and write (horribly written) poetry about the futility of life.
And the teenagers do... all of that.
However, one of the teenagers in Stable 27 dared to do only a little bit of that, as he dutifully recorded his life story in a PipBuck that he had rebelliously painted black from the comfort of his bed.
“Why am I doing this? Why am I going to record some probably useless information into this PipBuck that no one will ever listen to? The answer is is that I am bored. Bored, bored, bored.
That’s right, Cap -- that’s me -- the only pegasus stallion (in fact, the only pegasus) in Stable 27, is bored. Every day is the same. I wake up to work in the stable armory, go back to my stall for some delicious and nutritious green slime when I’m done, and then take a shower before bed... umm, that is to say when I can get running water, that is. Something’s wrong with the water talisman, but... nah, it’s probably nothing.
Right, back on topic.
Out of all the stables in Equestria, I got the one with a ban on entertainment. No sports, one boring stable broadcast that would droll about the importance of work and dangers fun posed for a utopian society, and no non-educational (translation: awesome) books. You want an example of how boring it is here? This one time I found a pre-war entertainment device called a “game colt” in the sewers. Don’t ask why I was in the sewers, and definitely don’t ask how I got it out. But it didn’t matter anyways, since Joykill -- yes, that’s her actual fucking name -- a security pony who really buys into stuff that ponies with better clothes and jobs tell her, found it and smashed it right in front of me with her baton. It was one of the most crushing moments in my life, and I remember it every time I see that baton, the one marked with Princess Luna’s cutie-mark, in the armory.
But despite this bummer of a reminder, it’s not like I hate working in the armory. After all, it’s the only place that gives me something to do. Usually, when nopony is looking, I skirt my duty to clean the equipment and I tinker with the small firearms until I know the function of every little piece. Sadly, in order to avoid getting caught, I’ve never fired a gun in my life.
Oh, and then there’s my younger brother, Remix; a unicorn who has the same color of fur as me. We’d be twins if it wasn’t for the color of his mane being different from mine. Besides physical appearances, though, the kid’s a musician at heart, and whenever he’s able he'll slam some forks together and the sound is out of this universe. I mean, have you ever heard fork music? It’s the best.
The only thing that bugs me about him is that he got his damn cutie-mark before me. I mean, how is that even possible? I’m great, I’m talented, I’m sexy, I’m... alone. Umm, right, anyways, here’s a funny story about how Remix got his cutie-mark. The elderly couple that takes care of us, Mr. and Mrs. Alcohol -- yes, names in Stable 27 are really something special -- had a pot and pan collection which Remix would use to create music by banging a big wooden fork on them. And let me tell you, lil’ Remix played with that fork like it was the only one in all of Equestria. Of course, all good things come to an end, and the wooden fork was no exception. One day it just flew out of his mouth, broke the kitchen window, dragged the wind behind it, hit a puppy for good measure, bounced off a railing, fell one story below us, and hit a guard on the head who then heard the music on the wind. The guard, I think her name was Clown Murder or something along those lines, barged right through the door and confiscated Ma and Pa Alcohol’s prized pan collection so that my brother could learn that boredom is next to godliness. When the dust finally settled, we noticed his cutie-mark had appeared: it was a beamed note with a dynamic blue fork streaked in front of it.
However, the story of my cutie-mark was nothing special. I love Sparkle-Cola™, and I used to horde the stupid little bottle caps. That was, of course, until the Overmare decided to recycle all traces of old metal into practice ammunition for a new generation of woefully named guards. But before the order to recycle was even a fever dream, I used to run a black market (aptly named the Fun Market) selling old contraband that I had taken from the guards such as stale candy, creepy homemade toys, pornographic books written by crazy old mares who had a less than stable grasp on how anatomy worked, and the occasional fashion magazine (at least, that’s what I assume it was about. I never got to look since it always sold so fast) with a friendly looking pegasi mare who stood above the words “Wingboner”. All of which you could have bought by giving me precious, precious bottle caps.
But anyways, I got my cutie-mark when a filly named Cherry acquired the last Sparkle-Cola™ in the stable -- which I just had to add to the Fun Market. In order to accomplish that, I went down to her stall and tried to make a deal with her.
Oh, that filly was a shyster all right. At first, she said fifty caps, then I got it to go to forty-five caps, and then out of no where she said sixty-eight, so what did she do you guessed it. " sixty-eight caps now where am I going to get sixty-eight caps don't know there's like no where else to find them.
‘Don't care,’ Cherry said with a smirk on her face.
"Oh, come on, Cherry. A cute young filly such as yourself should give me that sparkle cola for free." I thought I struck a deal right there, but she looked at the cola then me.
She opened her mouth and said, "Okay, fifty caps and a kiss." I put the fifty caps on table, and gave her a quick kiss. Before she could count the caps I grabbed the sparkle cola and ran to me and my brother's room she was too shocked by what happened to notice I only put seventeen caps on the table. After hiding the sparkle cola in my saddlebags, Mrs.Alcohol screamed.
"Oh, my sweet little Cap, you got your cutie-mark!"
And there it was, two pre-war sparkle cola caps. Still have the very cap from that day I wear around my neck as a necklace Mrs. Alcohol made me. All she had to do was cut a hole through the cap and slide in a thread to hang it on. Then two days later it was back to my same old boring routine and the lame stuff that came a long with it.
Oh, and another thing about Remix he only has one friend in the stable. I talked to him a little but I knew he had Remixes back if Remix ever needed it. His friend's name was Gear he was a light green earth pony with a yellow mane and to gears as his cutie mark he worked in the pip-buck stall on the atrium level. Now that I think about it all the ponies in the stable socialize in the atrium the stable store is there, the diner is there, and don't forget the Overmare’s office is also there overlooking the atrium. Speaking of the bitch that fun destroyer the goddess of boring I'm not over exaggerating she puts the dick in dictator... Just give me a second...Okay I think i'm good. She got rid of all the entertainment in the stable all of it. Anything that was fun she got rid of it, so all there was to live, work, then die in that exact order. It's really depressing once you think about it would be worse if most of the security ponies weren't on the lower levels fighting the work riots that happen all the time. It’s sad the riots mostly end in a colt or filly getting shot or beaten up. Sometimes I think the security teams that the over cunt sends down there don't come back the same pony.
But there's one mare I got my eye on. Remember Cherry, ya the mare I practically stole that sparkle cola from ya I like her and I'm-”
"Cap, what are you doing?" Remix asked curiously as he was right behind him until he spoke.
"What in the goddess’s all holy marehood is your fucking problem, Remix! Don't sneak up on me like that! You know I hate it," Cap screamed angrily.
"Sorry, Cap, you're talking to your PipBuck again, and I heard something about Cherry and..." Remix was interrupted by Cap said in a calm voice until the last couple words.
"Remix, I'm gonna say this in a calm voice... So can you FUCK OFF! This is my one hour of free time, and what I say about Cherry is my own business. And bang a pot or something okay." Cap then starred at Remix which then saw he hurt his brothers feelings, but before Cap could apologize.
"Fine, I see you're busy I'm just gonna go see what Gear is doing." Remix then walked out the door with his head down. Cap said under his breath "Great this is just what I need" So ya where was I oh ya Cherry shes has red fur, and no not red as in crimson. Shes also unicorn with a blonde mane and a cherry with a yellow flash for her cutie mark never knew what that meant. She's a security pony as I mentioned before one of if not the best of the best. This other part is so sad she is also the Overmare's pet. Wait hold on what's i'm hearing.
A voice boomed through the speakers in the stable saying "Warning all security ponies to the entrance now!"
Cap then said to himself "Not good I have to find Remix." When Cap opened the door Remix came running in bleeding "Remix what happened why are you bleeding?"
"When I was two stalls away from Gear's and a security mare told me to get to my stall and when I said my friend's stall was right over there she hit me with a baton."
The only thing Cap to say as a response to what is brother said was." Was it Cherry?"
"No it wasn't Cherry Cap sorry.” Remix knew Cap had a crush on Cherry maybe before that kiss he heard about.
Cap then became serious. "I don't care where did I keep the medical box?" Cap looked around till he saw it in the kitchen. "On the kitchen counter, ok Remix here you go. Now you stay here i'm going to find out what the fuck is happening." Before Cap ran out the door he gave Remix orders on what to do encase of trouble. "Okay! Rule one. If the rebels are up to no good and come poking around take whatever is useful from my saddlebags okay, and guard the stall." Then Cap looked at the window of the stall door. "Okay, open the door if it’s me or Gear the door is automatic I'll jam a bobby pin in the latch and it'll lock, and when you see me or gear just carefully take the bobby pin out." Then Cap remembered he has a key card buck which only three ponies have that which is him, the overmare, and the highest ranking security pony.
Cap remembered something really important after that. "Damn I left mine in my locker back down at the armory. Who else would give us a card in case of an emergency... That's It Cherry wait... Fuck her stall is down the hall maybe she could..." then cap ran out the door and down the hallway. All you could here was “hey you get back in your stall now!” Which came from a security pony followed by.
“Oh shit!” which came from Cap.
