Flash Sentry visits Equestria with a package

by Clifford Beats

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Dark, Comedy, Romance, Tragedy
Length: 1520

Oh no! Flash has fell through the statue and is now in Equestria. Hide yo waifus as Flash embarks on an epic tale of self discovery and a world where the main six have aged a bit. With more twists than the twist household, you better strap in!

Oh no! Flash has fell through the statue and is now in Equestria. Hide yo waifus as Flash embarks on an epic tale of self discovery and a world where the main six have aged a bit. With more twists than the twist household, you better strap in!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-02 22:53:46 UTC

The package of Flash

Now I must warn you before you even begin contemplating reading this story. If you have a waifu, if you plan on having a waifu or if you have already lost your waifu you must stop reading this right now and go back to your happy and ignorant life. For anyone who is about to stay.... I pity you and I hope you come out of this the same man.

Flash Sentry was walking around the halls of Canterlot high carrying his massive package, after the events of the princess of the form formal he decided he was going to give this package to Twilights new friends as a reminder and a thank you for all their hard work when defeating Sunshit Shitter.

He walked around the corner of one of the everlasting hallways and bumped into Sunset causing his package to be released from the box he was carrying it in. In a brief flash, Flash was flashing his flashlight which caused Sunset Shimmer to squeam with delight and what sounded like a bit of regret. She knew she could not use his flashlight to explore dark caves anymore because she has been a bitch and messed up with that whole demon thing, crazy bitch.

Flash quickly packed his package back away, he smiled that smile which in turn caused every girl in the hallway to die. Flash is now a mass murderer.

Flash left the school through the front door where he saw all of Twilights friends on the grass outside of the school, Flash got a twinkle in his eye and began sprinting towards them, he was extremely happy to give them his package which he had saved up all of his money for. Flash slipped... it was terrible...  his package was so large it caused a space and time rift or some shit and he basically pole vaulted and it was super rad 10/11.

He flew through the air lightning fast and in a flash he fell through the statue at the front of the school. "oh my" cried Rarity as all of the human pony things fucks sake hasbro, ran over to the statue to begin feeling it up too see if the mirror had opened once again. To everyone else it looked like a bunch of teenagers fondling a statue, some guy in some bushes masturbated.

Flash awoke, he was naked and a pony... this didn't bother him because he thought about his situation in a flash causing him to not freak out. He noticed that his package had also came through the mirror. This was lucky because this world is different and he never goes anywhere without his package. He opens a large door he found at the edge of the room and as the light peers through the seeping cracks, he realises that he is in some sort of large crystal castle.

He decides to walk down the corridor, package in hand and ready for anything that might come for him. He notices a guard come round the corner, he tries to hide but to no avail because it's a corridor and corridors are racist. "hey Flash, shouldn't you be at your wedding right about now" Flash looked at the guard and gave him a smile, the guards waifu was then stolen and the guard fell down some stairs and died. This pleased Flash.

Flash found a big door which he attempted to open but once again to no avail. He then used his massive package to pry the door open. This caused the castle to self destruct and it died. This once again pleased flash who enjoyed being pleased because it pleased him. He then walked away from the wreckage and smiled causing the entire crystal ponies waifus to be stolen. This was a genocide in terms of Waifu theft and it was very sad.

Flash saw a train in the distance and he now knew what he had to do.

Ponyville

Flash arrived in Ponyville, he walked into the town centre and then he hears some mad wubs. He looked around and saw a house with a musical note on the front, he walked up to the house and used his package to pry open the door. There was Vinyl Scratch as voiced by Nowacking. Flash made his move, he works fast. He immediately did her in beat of a dubstep song that was going at 400 BPM, she died.

Flash then heard the sound he had wanted to hear ever since he arrived in this piece of shit town, the voice of Twishit Sprackles! He ran over to wear he heard the voice only for it to be revealed that it was actually the devil playing a trick on him! "Mortal" said Satan "I will show you where Twifit Spankle is if you sell your soul to me" Flash was super clever and he had already sold his soul so he could buy ice cream so he agreed to the deal. "Ha lel thanks" said the almighty lucifer. Then Twilight was there and she was like "flash, omg u r hre th1s is a sh0ck" Flash liked her and he did her right then in there in the middle of the town, they amassed a crowd like in the movie cranked and they did it all night long. Little pip died from shock.

Flash went with Twilight to the Library so they could read some books, maybe have some icecream and get married and have 10 kids, then Twilight had 10 kids. Flash was a good father, he fed them and shit and only 3 died which is pretty good. Then Flash lived life in Ponyville, he had 100000000000 affairs with the other ponies and then he died from erectile dysfunction.

This is the best thing you have ever read, the end.

The train

Flash looks over at the train, the train conductor is doing that thing where they are all like "yo yo the train is going yo" so yeah the train is leaving. He then jumps up like 6 steps like in that movie and he does a triple backflip, in the middle of the backflip he steals a waifu. This is his signature move and with his perfect landing he got 999999/10 and he won a fedora. Flash burned the Fedora with his fart and got on the train.

The train then set off towards ponyville, Flash knew the name and he was ready for whatever may be there. Flash walks down the corridor of the train (the corridor was being racist) and he enters one of the small rooms. There he saw a pony with an odd face wearing a pink suit jacket thing, I don't fucking know (I ain't no fashionista) . He smiled at her but she didn't die, Flash looks at her then goes to ask her a question "y u no die girl" Flash said, he realized at this point that he was retarded, maybe if his character had been developed I would have gave him a normal voice.

The mare turns around with a face that looked like it had been repeatedly smashed in the face by a shovel of some sort. She said with a very high class voice "I am Miss Harsh Whinny, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance" Flash pulled out a knife and stabbed her repeatedly, he doesn't like lesbians.

It was at this point Flash noticed he had these odd wing like things on his sides, turns out they were wings. With all of his might (which is like a million) he managed to flap one of his wings. He then opened the window of the train and threw her out, she landed on someones Waifu. The train ride continued, Flash decided to continue down the corridor to see what else he could find on the train, he saw some chewing gum on the floor. He winked at it and it came to life and killed someone.

Flash opened the toilet door, he needed to go and in a flash he was done, he flushed the toilet and all of time and space itself went into the toilet and created a universe where Waifus and people live together, bet you wish you could live there but you can't! Go cry somewhere else.

Flash went to the front of the train where he saw the train drivers driving the train which was being driven by the train drivers. Flash asked if he could pull the train horn because he had wanted to do that when he was younger but he was abused by his parents. The driver allows it and Flash steals his Waifu, he then pulls the horn causing everyone on the trains Waifus to be stolen, in a fit of panic everyone on the train tried to kill each other. This caused the train to flip on its side and fall over. Luckily for flash he was a mile away from Ponyville so he sprinted there super fast, some would say.... in a flash (top humor here)