Cooking Roach

by Bucking Nonsense

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Changelings, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 20971

The story of Rochelle, a changeling in Canterlot, and how she ends up with a most unusual job...

The story of Rochelle, a changeling in Canterlot, and how she ends up with a most unusual job...

Prequel to the story A Meal Fit For A King

Published 2014-03-06 07:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-13 17:15:35 UTC

Recipe One: Something Spicy

"Are you sure you want to do that, big boy?"

As Rochelle (Well, it was Roach, really, but what girl wants THAT as her name?) watched the minotaur prepare to take their little game to the next level, she reflected on how lucky it was that changelings had no sense of taste. When she had heard about how minotaurs enjoyed proving how macho they were by, amongst other things, having an annual pepper eating contest, she had realized that she could make a nice chunk of change today. Disguised as a dark brown (coat) on light brown (mane and tail) earth pony, she'd entered, and made it to the finals without breaking a sweat.

The tongue was, in Rochelle's opinion, the most traitorous organ in the body. It made a pony reject foods that would have been healthy, while at the same time made the same pony crave foods that would, in the long run, cause all sorts of health problems. It was a very selfish part of the anatomy, not to mention a dirty, dirty liar.

As the minotaur picked up another pepper, this one much spicier than the last, Rochelle could see him sweating. This was what she meant about the tongue being a liar: there was nothing in a pepper that was actually 'hot', but the tongue interprets the taste as heat, causing the body to react as though the pepper actually was burning hot. This caused the sweating, the blisters in the mouth, everything that went with spicy foods. In truth, capsaicin was just another irritant, one that caused a strong burning sensation. For a changeling, it just itched, since the insides of a changeling's mouth were a great deal less sensitive than that of any other creature. Her tongue was just there so she could talk...

The minotaur popped the pepper into his mouth, and almost immediately, the poor sap's eyes began to water. Given that they had just upped the ante, and were now up to the Screaming Griffindorian Pepper (one of the spiciest peppers in the world), it was a miracle that the minotaur (Rochelle couldn't remember his name just then) wasn't screaming in pain. It took an act of iron will (Oh, wait, that was it, Iron Will!) to keep the minotaur from grabbing at his last glass of water.

Each of the competitors was granted three glasses of water to drink during a round. The contest ended when either one of them drank all three, or one of them passed out or gave up. Rochelle had only taken a small sip from her first glass since this round started. The minotaur, on the other hoof, was down to half of his last. Not that water would do much to help him here: milk or a slice of bread would do a much better job of quelling the spiciness of this particular meal.

The minotaur swallowed the pepper, and it seemed as if he might go the distance... before smoke suddenly erupted from his ears. His mouth opened, causing an eruption of flames, and he passed out. While a more... extreme end than expected, Rochelle had seen a pony named Pinkie Pie who had a similar reaction to spiciness. It was weird world she lived in...

The assembled crowd of minotaurs cheered, celebrating her victory. That was one thing she liked about minotaurs: they didn't discriminate based on gender. Machismo, in their culture, was about being strong, tough, and brave. Even a girl could be 'macho', at least, in their culture.

The minotaur was starting to regain his wits, and was starting to get up. As Iron Will watched, Rochelle took one of the nightmare peppers and ate it. After she swallowed it (changelings have an empty 'pouch' where the stomach should be, and it was mostly just storage space), she smiled, and extended a hoof to help the minotaur up. Iron Will smiled, accepted the hoof, then lifted her up on his shoulders. The crowd went wild. Good sportsponyship, and sportsbullship, all around.

And that was how the second craziest day of Rochelle's life began.

As she sat in the cashier's office, waiting for the prize money to be counted and given to her, she couldn't help but be a little nervous: she'd tried to put on a good show, attempting to just seem awesome, rather than impossibly cool, but a mare able to outdo a grown minotaur in a test of guts and courage like this was a little bit above and beyond expectations. If she hadn't needed the money...

An old, gray mare wearing a flower print dress sat down next to Rochelle, and asked, "Do you know, there isn't a single rule against a changeling entering this contest?"

...Great, just great.

Remaining calm, the changeling asked, "Really? I would think that one would hardly be needed, given that changelings aren't welcome anywhere."

The mare chuckled, and said, "Well, dear, there is no actual rule forbidding it. It might surprise you to know that there aren't any rules or laws anywhere that would keep a changeling from entering any sort of contest. In fact, there's no law, anywhere, against being a changeling. Such a law would be considered madness: a law is used to punish a crime, and why should anyone be punished just for being born? There are, however, laws against using the ability to change one's appearance to take advantage of others."

Rochelle gulped, then said, "So, I imagine that if I was a changeling, I'd be in a lot of trouble." Plausible deniability: they were just talking about changelings, after all. No one said that she was a changeling, though.

The elderly pony chuckled, and said, "No, not really. As I said, there was no rule prohibiting your entry. Now, given that a changeling has stonger resistance to this sort of thing than the average creature, there will be a few revisions before next year's competition. The contest would be much tougher, to make things more fair for the competitors. However, under the current rules, a victory like yours would be considered valid, changeling or no changeling. I can't help but wonder, though, why a changeling would want or need the prize for this kind of contest."

Ten thousand bits to the winner. That was a substantial sum, enough to last a pony several years. Changelings hardly needed money, but this wasn't about her...

"I imagine," Rochelle said, still cautious, "That if a changeling were to enter the contest, it would be because she had a really important reason for it."

The mare chuckled and said, "Yes, I imagine so." Standing, then stretching a little, she said, "Well, I need to get going. Enjoy your victory, dearie. Ah, and if you ever find you need a helping hoof," and here, she pulled out a business card, and gave it to Rochelle, "Look me up."

As the mare left, Rochelle studied the card in her hooves. There was an address, as well as a set of times when the address was open. No name, though. Odd. She'd have to swing by that address sometime...

As she walked home, carrying her winnings, she couldn't help but reflect on how lucky she was to still be in Canterlot. A pony walking down the street with a huge sack of bits on her back would get mugged before they went two blocks almost anywhere else in Equestria, but here in Canterlot, there were guards on almost every street corner. One even offered to walk her to the bank, carrying the sack! That was very sweet of him, but she was more than capable of carrying this load.

After depositing the funds into her bank account, she walked home with a much lighter pouch. She made a brief stop to get a little surprise for later, then, whistling merrily, walked the rest of the way home. Things were looking up. She now had enough money for the trip she had planned. She could even take a friend with her...

When she reached her apartment complex she called home, she knocked on her neighbor's door. Candy Floss, a pink on pink pegasus opened the door, smiling, and said, "Welcome back. How did it go?"

Grinning, Rochelle said, "I won first prize. Thank you for looking after Nuisance. Did she give you any trouble?"

Giggling, the pegasus said, "No more than usual. Ah, I should tell you, there were a couple of VIP's who wanted to meet you today. They weren't the kind of ponies that I could say no to, so I let them into your apartment to wait for you." Seeing the expression that crossed Rochelle's face, Candy said, "Don't worry, they said they just wanted to talk to you. I don't think they know about 'you know what'."

Right. 'You know what'. Candy was currently the only pony that knew Rochelle was a changeling, except for that old mare from earlier. However, in spite of that, or perhaps because of that, the pegasus still wanted to be friends. Trust didn't come easy to a changeling, for obvious reasons, but if there was one pony in the world that Rochelle would trust with her life, it was the pink pony with the pretty pink curls in front of her.

"Alright," the changeling said, then asked, "Where's Nuisance?"

Candy smiled and said, "Your guests offered to look after her until you got back." At the changeling's shocked expression, the pegasus giggled and said, "I can't imagine anypony she'd be safer with than those two. You'll see."

Opening the door to her apartment, Rochelle had to admit, Candy was right: if there was anyplace safer for Nuisance to be staying than in Celestia's lap, the changeling couldn't imagine it. Rocking the little griffin chick back and forth, the princess said, "Please, come on in."

Looking over to the left, where Princess Luna sat, seeming a little uncomfortable, Rochelle thought that this situation could go very bad, very quickly...

Closing the door behind her, she put on her best smile, gave a deep bow, then asked, "And to what do I owe the pleasure, your highnesses?"

Chuckling, Celestia said, "Well, there were a number of things that we needed to talk to you about, Rochelle. Ah, but I think you have something for your little friend here."

Grinning, Rochelle pulled out the surprise she had bought for Nuisance today. She gave the present, a fluffy teddy bear, to Nuisance, who eagerly accepted it. The little dear loved fluffy things. The griffin chick cooed excitedly while she hugged the bear happily.

Luna cleared her throat, then said, "Firstly, we were wishing to discuss how this young lady wound up in your care. While the story has reached our ears from other sources, we wished to hear the it directly from you."

Rochelle hesitated, and before she could say a word, Celestia said, "We already deduced you were a changeling, Rochelle. We figured that out some time ago. If you were in any sort of trouble, do you really think we'd have come in here to have a friendly chat?" If... if that was the case, and they knew she was a changeling, and intended some sort of harm to her, then odds were, she would have come home to a dozen guards in her apartment instead. Admittedly, the two of them were more than a match for her, but they would not likely have taken the risk. Well, given the circumstances, there was no use in denying it.

Rochelle gulped, and said, "Alright. Then do you mind if I slip into something a little more comfortable?" Both princesses nodded. Rochelle dropped her disguise, eliciting giggles from Nuisance, and said, "Alright. I'll tell you the whole story. Do you mind if I cook while we talk? It's almost lunch time."

Celestia chuckled, Luna smiled, and both nodded. "Feel free," said the princess of the sun.

"Alright," Rochelle said, moving over to the cupboard, pulling out ingredients as she talked, "It was about a year ago, right after the Canterlot invasion..."

One year ago...

Roach was the fastest changeling in the swarm, bar none. Not in terms of flying: while her wings worked, she was a terrible flier. However, when it came to running, she was the absolute best there was. Her hoof speed had once been clocked at fifty miles per hour: while she couldn't run for long (she was a sprinter, not a marathoner), she could manage it in short bursts. She could reach incredible speeds without even needing to burn love to accelerate herself. When she was burning love, like she was now, she was probably the fastest runner ever.

...And she needed to be, if she wanted to outrun the love sphere of doom.

The changeling had spotted the barrier coming, and had started running immediately. It had always amazed her that no other changeling had her reaction time, her speed... or her rate of acceleration. She could go from a standing start to her top speed almost instantaneously.

That was the only reason she was not given an all expenses paid trip south for the winter, courtesy of Air-Alicorn. As it was, she just barely managed to evade the forcefield, and as she stared back behind her at the city, she considered the options available...

Option One: Try to rejoin the swarm. No. Even if she wanted to put herself back under the command of Her Royal Incompetence, it wouldn't be a valid option. Given the speed at which they were going when she lost sight of the swarm, it would be a journey of many miles, on hoof, to rejoin the swarm. Traveling was dangerous alone, and it would require her to gather love as she went, something that was extremely dangerous in its own right. And with no idea of where the swarm would be, she might end up on a journey that never ended.

Option Two: Throw herself on the mercy of the princesses, and hope everything turned out alright. No. While she didn't know if the princesses were anything like the queen, she doubted very much that they would welcome a stray changeling with a hug and a cup of warm cocoa. She didn't know what they would do, but she doubted she would enjoy it.

Option Three: Head back into the city, and try to blend in. Yes. The ponies had just witnessed every changeling in the city get ejected at high speed: they'd never expect one to just waltz right back in. She could hide in plain sight, and find a way to grab some love. While she had a good supply, she'd only last about half a year...

Putting on a disguise, she began walking right back into town.

That first night was when she first met Nuisance.

While walking through the streets of the city, she heard, impossibly, the sound of an infant crying... from a garbage can, of all places. Curiosity overcame her caution, and she opened up the can... only to see a baby griffin staring up at her, bits of eggshell still stuck to her fur and feathers. The little kitten stared up at the disguised changeling, then reached up, claws outstretched, as if begging for a hug.

Roach, (no, Rochelle, let's go by Rochelle now), sighed, then picked up the kit, hugging her close. Turning around, she saw a pretty pink pegasus walking down the street. Confronting the pony, she asked, "Do you know where this came from?"

The pony shrugged, and said, "No idea. I didn't think there were any griffins in this part of town. Where did you find her?" The changeling pointed at the garbage can. The pegasus gasped, and said, "No way. You can't be serious!"

Rochelle shook her head, and said, "I wish I was joking. Look, would you mind looking after her?"

Grinning, the pony said, "I would, but I don't think that will work."

Raising an eyebrow (One of the biggest advantages of being in disguise: eyebrows. They give you all kinds of options for facial expressions), the changeling asked, "Why not?"

The pegasus held out a hoof, and Rochelle hoofed over the kit. The moment that the changeling's hoof left the griffin, the little one let out a wail that could be heard across the city. The pegasus hoofed the kit back, and the griffin stopped crying, and began giggling happily.

At the changeling's surprised expression, the pegasus giggled, then said, "I read in school that a griffin hatchling will always bond with the first thing he or she sees, thinking that its their mother. It wears off after about a year, but until then, she won't want to be held by anypony other than you. Congratulations, you're a mommy!"

Celestia chuckled at that, and Luna had a bit of a smile herself. "I take it," Celestia said, "That was when you met Candy Floss as well?"

Laughing a bit herself, Rochelle said, "Yeah. She was a big help in getting me settled in. I don't know how I would have made it through all of this without her help. I mean, I was just seventeen at the time, and had never been out on my own before. There was a lot of stuff that I had to learn, and I will admit that some of the lessons I had to learn were harder than others. Still, we've managed. I was able to make a few bits, here and there, doing a few quick jobs. Nothing fancy, just stuff like fixing a roof, or helping look after the kids while the parents were out. A few bits here, a few bits there. Enough to get by, with a little to sock away for later."

Luna asked, with a raised eyebrow, "Later?"

Rochelle sighed, and said, "Yeah. I've been planning on taking a trip east, over the sea to the lands of the griffins. See if I could track down some of Nuisance's relatives, or at least find a family of griffins to raise her. I've done a fair job of looking after her, but I know I don't have it in me to be able to raise her properly. A griffin should be raised by other griffins, or at least by someone who's at least a half-decent flier." The kitchen timer went off, and Rochelle checked the pot. "Alright. Lunch is ready. It's nothing super-fancy, but I hope you'll enjoy it."

Luna stared at the strange concoction, and, gently prodding one of the off-white cubes as they floated in bowl filled with red sauce, asked, "What is this?"

Celestia sniffed at the meal, then asked, raising an eyebrow, "Mala Mapo Tofu?"

Blushing, Rochelle said, "The vegetarian version, yeah. Nuisance has some pretty weird tastes, since she moved up to solids, so I've been trying different recipes to see if I can narrow down what she likes. She seems to like spicy stuff like this, so I make it about once a week. I added mushrooms and black beans to the recipe, plus soy beans, and it seems to be a big hit with her."

Luna took a spoon, and tried a mouthful... then immediately took another, and another. "Incredible," she said, between bites, "It's quite spicy, but the flavor is remarkable."

Celestia, trying a few bites herself, and clearly savoring them, said, "I've had this a few times, and I have to admit, I rather like your recipe. The taste is quite invigorating."

Rochelle blushed brightly at the praise, her cheeks turning bright blue. "Thanks. I can't say I'm very good at cooking yet, having only been doing it for a year, but Nuisance hasn't been complaining."

Chuckling, Celestia said, "I imagine she hasn't." After she finished her bowl, the princess said, "Well, that was a fine dish. Ah, I should mention to you that, after you reported finding this young kit," and here she motioned towards Nuisance, who was using a spoon to delicately ladle her meal into her mouth, "The guard has spent a great deal of time trying to locate her parents. I myself invested a bit of time as well towards the endeavor, but I fear we've had no leads. How she ended up in that trash can, and why, remains a mystery. It's possible we may never know. However, I mentioned the young lady's plight to a few friends the other day, and a pair of pegasai I know made it known to me that they would be interested in taking in the little one, if you'd be willing to part with her."

Rochelle kept her expression carefully neutral as a flood of emotions filled her. Giving up Nuisance to somepony else? She wasn't certain how she felt about that. Well, she'd planned on it, but that had always been a bit of a long term goal. The idea that it could happen as soon as tomorrow was...

Luna, her expression unreadable, gently reminded the changeling, "You did admit yourself that you felt that she would be better served being raised by another family."

"Yeah," Rochelle said, "Yeah, I suppose I did. Well, before I say yes or no, I'd want to meet them. I mean, Nuisance here lives up to her name, and I've spent a year getting used to her. I'd better be on hoof to at least warn them about some of her habits. I'd hate to spring a surprise like her on somepony without at least telling them how to handle her."

"Well, I think you'll rather like Silver Tongue and his wife," Celestia said, smiling. "And I rather doubt this young lady will be that much trouble."

As if on cue, the griffin chick picked up her bowl, and put it on her head upside down, as though it was a hat. The fact that the bowl was still half full had predictable results, including a mess on the floor, and a wet, red stained hatchling. The kit was unphased, and in fact giggled cheerfully at the havoc that she had just caused.

"I beg to differ," Rochelle said with a sigh, as both Luna and Celestia chuckled.

Recipe Two: Sweet Snacks

"So, what gave me away?"

As Celestia and Luna helped clean up the mess that Nuisance had made (they'd offered to help, and she wasn't about to turn down assistance from two alicorns), Rochelle had thought back to what the two had mentioned earlier: that they had deduced that she was a changeling quite some time ago. That brought up many questions, some simple... some less so.

Celestia chuckled as she wrung out a washcloth, and set about wiping off the hatchling's face, and said, "Well,nothing really gave you away: shortly after the invasion, I searched the royal archives for a spell that can be used to locate creatures of varying species in Equestria. It's useful for when a census needs to be taken, as it allows us to determine how many minotaurs, griffins, and various other creatures are within our borders, as well as how many ponies. I wished to determine where the swarm had ended up, and if there were any changelings still in Equestria, and I was shocked, simply shocked, to find out just how many were."

Rochelle, washing the dishes, was surprised to hear that. There were changelings other than herself in Equestria? Well, she'd heard of a few changelings, maybe five or so, other than herself, but from how it sounded, there were a lot more...

Luna gave a chuckle herself, seeing Rochelle's expression, and, while she mopped up the floor, said, "There were fifty changelings still in Canterlot alone, and another two hundred scattered across Equestria. Given what had just transpired, many of them decided to act as you did: live quietly, as far under the radar as possible. A few, however, decided to go the other way, and have managed to accomplish remarkable feats in service to Equestria. You've probably read about them in the newspapers by now."

Nodding, Rochelle admitted, "Yeah, I have. There wasn't anybuggy that I really knew from the hive, and I had too much on my plate already to go getting tangled up in their messes. Taking care of a baby can be a full-time job, especially this one." Nuisance giggled cheerfully, to which Rochelle responded, with a sweet voice, "Oh yes, I'm talking about you, you little trouble-maker." The griffin giggled even louder.

The two princesses chuckled, and after a moment, Celestia said, "Given that we knew that there were changelings in the city, and within our borders, the question remained, what should be done? While there are some who would argue that the best course of action would be to round them up and deport them, we had to wonder, just how many of them might have been here in Equestria before the invasion, living peacefully, and how many others had chosen to do the same afterwards. So instead of taking such an extreme and heavy-hooved action, we decided to keep each changeling under observation. If they began to act in a manner that made them a threat to the ponies around them, such troublemakers were collected and disciplined in a manner befitting their crimes. The ones who were living peacefully were left to their own devices. Those that seemed to be struggling with adjusting to life here would be approached by a representative who would give them the help that they needed, so that they could continue living in peace with others."

Rochelle remembered her meeting with the old gray mare earlier today. Pulling the card from behind her ear, she asked, "I don't suppose that this would be from one of those representatives?"

Celestia read the card, then nodded. "Indeed. I would recommend paying that address a visit in your free time, especially if you'd like to meet with your fellow changelings here in the city."

Rochelle nodded, and tucked the card back behind her ear. After a moment's thought, she asked, "And Candy Floss, she's one of the ponies that was observing me?" Since Candy was the only one that the changeling had told that she was going to compete in the pepper eating contest today, it would make sense that the pegasus was one of her 'handlers'...

"We did approach her for that purpose," Luna admitted, tactfully. "We were surprised to learn that she had already deduced on her own that you were a changeling. More importantly, perhaps, she had already spent considerable time observing your actions, as well as giving Nuisance a medical checkup whenever left in your her for longer than a few minutes. While she felt that you would never intentionally harm the little one, she did want to make certain that she remained healthy and happy while in your care."

Rochelle could appreciate that. The changeling had almost no experience regarding the rearing of children, prior to her 'adoption' of Nuisance a year ago. In the first three weeks alone, she'd had to bug Candy almost daily about what needed to be done regarding even simple things like feeding and the proper use of diapers. The pegasus had taken all of this in stride, and with good cheer. Candy had seemed to think it was great that Rochelle was so worried about Nuisance's well being...

Celestia laughed merrily, and stated, "Half a year ago, when we approached her with our concerns about you raising the child, Candy had pulled out a thick stack of documents, which, upon examination, turned out to be her assessment of your effectiveness in taking care of the little one. She felt that, in all honesty, it would be far more traumatic to Nuisance to remove her from your care than it would be to let her stay with you. Given that Candy Floss is only a year away from completing her dual majors in Child Psychology and Pediatric Medicine, we couldn't help but agree with her assessment."

Rochelle giggled at that. "Yeah. I was surprised to find out she was a medical student, myself. Given that her cutie mark is a stick of cotton candy, I was stunned to find that she was planning on becoming a pediatrician." As she said that, she blushed a little with pride. Candy thought that Rochelle was doing a great job as a parent: while the pegasus had said that more than once, she'd just thought the pegasus was just trying to make her feel better. Having heard that Candy had told the princesses flat out that Rochelle was the best bug for the job was just...

"So," Luna said, nodding, "We decided to leave her right where she was, at least for the time being. Candy Floss agreed to keep an eye on you, and let us know if you had any trouble. She did mention to us that you were going to be competing in that contest earlier today, so we did ask one of our representatives to meet you there, in case there were any problems due to your species."

Nodding, the changeling said, "I thought as much. Well, it's nice to know that there's been someone watching over me, but... I get the feeling that there's a really, really important reason why you're here, and it's not just because you like the taste of my cooking."

The mess now thoroughly cleaned, and the dishes done, the four returned to the kitchen table. Celestia nodded, and said, "Well, as good as your cooking is, you are correct. There is something that we wished to speak with you about. Something that you might find very interesting."

Before Rochelle could asked, Nuisance started making a racket. Checking a clock on her wall, the changeling realized what the problem was. "Oh, right," she said, "Two o'clock. It's snuggle time. Could you hold her while I get dressed?"

Luna nodded, and took hold of the little griffin, while Celestia, an eyebrow raised, asked, "Dressed?"

Walking over to her closet, Rochelle said, "Well, as you've probably noticed, I'm not what you'd call cute and cuddly, and I'm definitely not fluffy. So, when it's snuggle time..."

Pulling out a costume, she put the fluffy garment with a single, well practiced motion, then zipped up. "...I put on something a little bit easier to hug."

Both Celestia and Luna burst out laughing at the sight: how often do you get to see a changeling wearing a fluffy pink bunny costume. Nuisance, on the other hoof, launched herself from Luna's grip, and flew over to Rochelle, hugging her while chirping happily. Rochelle hugged the little chick back, and, after the laughter died down, said, "Alright, so you had something important to talk to me about. What's up?"

Wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, Celestia said, "Well, it has to do with your long term plans here in Equestria. As I've already mentioned, steps have been taken to help the changelings here in Equestria to adapt to life amongst ponies. There have, in fact, already been a few cases where changelings and ponies have intermarried. However, recent discoveries have revealed a problem."

Rochelle was a little... surprised to hear that. She would be the first to admit that she'd found a few ponies to be quite handsome, but marriage was a really, really big step, one she felt was probably years and years away. But what would this have to do with her?

Luna, her expression more serious, stated, "Ponies and changelings cannot have children together: the differences in biology between the two are simply too great." Her expression lightening somewhat, the princess said, "However, ways have been found around that. A recently rediscovered set of spells has revealed that it is possible to permanently transform a changeling into a pony. The spell is complex, and requires significant amounts of magical energy, but upon completion, it allows the happily married couple to have children. Shortly after the first successful use of this spell, we were inundated with requests from changelings across Equestria, and while a few of them did have a very special somepony, a great many others simply wished to be a pony for no other reason than because they felt that being a pony was infinitely better than being a changeling."

Chuckling, Celestia said, "There are a few who prefer to stay as a changeling, of course, but the vast majority feel that, if they are going to spend the rest of their lives in Equestria, they would much rather do so as Equestrians. So, my sister and I, as well as several other representatives, have been visiting changelings like you, who had remained in hiding across the nation, to let them know that the option now exists."

Rochelle was stunned to hear that: A spell exists that can transform a changeling into a pony? That was... incredible... unbelievable...

"Now," Celestia said, "There is a long line ahead of you, so it would be at least a year before you yourself would be able to undergo such a transition: the spell in question requires significant preparation, and can only be cast at certain times during the year, on a small handful of changelings at a time. However, that would grant you plenty of time to make the necessary adjustments in preparation for life afterwards. The reason we are here is to ask you if you would be interested."

Rochelle looked at the two alicorns in front of her. From their expressions, she could tell that they were completely serious. They were asking her, Rochelle, if she wanted to become a pony. As she cuddled the now sleeping Nuisance against her, she said, "That's a heck of a question to spring on somebuggy out of the blue. Could I have some time to think on it?"

Celestia chuckled, and said, "Certainly. Take all the time you need. We'll save you a spot in line."

Luna nodded in agreement, smiling. "We can understand why one would hesitate: it is a rather drastic change, and one that will affect you for the rest of your life. We'd be more concerned for you if you simply decided on impulse, rather than gave this the careful consideration it deserves."

After a moment, Rochelle nodded, and said, "When I've decided, I'll let you know."

With a radiant smile, Celestia said, "Wonderful. We'll have a coach come by tomorrow to pick you up, and we can talk more about this then." At Rochelle's confused expression, Celestia said, "Well, you did indicate that you wanted to meet the two ponies who wished to adopt Nuisance. We can take you to see them tomorrow, and you can make your judgement regarding whether or not they would be up to the job."

"Oh," Rochelle said. Between the mess Nuisance had made, and the series of stunning revelations, she had almost forgotten about that...

Luna placed a hoof upon the changeling shoulder and said, "There's no rush in any of this. If you decide you need more time to decide on anything, you'll have it. We... well, I understand that this is all a lot to think about."

Rochelle nodded, and said, "Thank you. Right, well, it's her nap time, so I'd better put her in her crib."

Celestia nodded in understanding, and said, "We'll see ourselves out. We'll stop by about noon tomorrow. If you're ready then, we'll take you to meet Silver Tongue and his wife. If not, we can reschedule."

After a few parting words, the two princesses left, leaving Rochelle along with Nuisance. Once the kit was in her crib, sleeping soundly, the changeling pulled a cookie from the jar she kept on the counter, and began chewing on one of the treats she normally reserved for the hatchling. As she examined the texture of the cookie with her tongue, and imagined how it would probably taste, Rochelle sat down at the table and thought...

...And thought...

...And thought...

As the two flew home, Celestia asked Luna, "What do you think she'll decide?"

Luna, smiling, answered the question with a question, asking, "About what? Giving the little one up for adoption, or about becoming a pony?"

Chuckling, Celestia answered, "Both."

Luna shrugged, and said, "About Nuisance? She will decide to do whatever is best for the child, whatever that may turn out to be. As for becoming a pony? Flip a coin. She could go either way. But like you said, we'll save her a spot in line: she could always say no today and change her mind tomorrow. That is her right."

Recipe Three: Familiar Flavor

"Hello, my name is Rochelle, and I'm a changeling."

Rochelle smiled as the changelings around her said, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, "Hi, Rochelle!" Since she'd had no plans for the rest of the day, she'd decided that the best way to spend her time was to go and visit the place that the old gray mare and the princesses had recommended she visit. She'd also decided, after a bit of thought, to take both Nuisance and Candy Floss with her.

Rochelle had been a little worried that there would be a problem, but apparently, it was not unusual for visitors to bring friends along, and they already knew about her young ward. Since Nuisance was too young to talk, and Candy already knew that her friend was a changeling, there really wasn't a problem with letting her meet others.

As she looked around her at the other changelings at this informal meeting, she had to admit, she was surprised. She'd expected the gathering to be composed entirely of commoners, but there was at least as many aristocrats as there were lowborn gathered here today. More surprisingly, nobuggy seemed uncomfortable about that: class distinctions seemed to be going out of style here.

She'd apparently chosen the right day to come: she and a group of about twenty other changelings were gathered together for a weekly discussion about their lives in Canterlot. Given that she was new, she'd been allowed to go first.

The changelings sat in a circle of chairs, around a table. Upon the table sat a plate of cookies, along with a metal pitcher of water. While changelings didn't eat, and rarely drank water, accommodations were always made in case of non-changeling visitors, it seemed.

Looking around her, Rochelle smiled, and said, "This is my first time here. Until about a few hours ago, I honestly thought that there might only be one other changeling in Canterlot, and she wasn't what you'd call the talkative type." That got a few chuckles from the assembled changelings. It seemed like that many of them had thought the same at one point. Forging on, she said, "I've spent the last year here in Canterlot, taking care of Nuisance, who thought that I was her mother."

There were a few "d'awww's" about that. The griffin chick had turned out to be a big hit with the assembled changelings: a baby completely at ease with changelings in their natural state was practically unheard of. The fact that she was a natural born troublemaker seemed to make the kit an honorary changeling in their eyes. They were passing her from changeling to changeling, where she'd get a hug, a little bit of playtime, then be passed on.

Chuckling, Rochelle continued. "I found the poor dear in a garbage can." As usual, this got a number of startled gasps. "I believe she may have hatched there. How and why she ended up in that can is anyone's guess. Even now, a year later, there's been no clue regarding who her parents are, or where they went. I had originally planned on taking a trip later this year, overseas, to see if I might find a clue there, or at least a pair of griffin parents who might be able to raise her. However, today, I received a surprise visit from the princesses, and among the other things we discussed, the subject of adoption came up. There's a pair of pegasai who would be willing to raise her. Now, I stink at flying." There were chuckles at that: Rochelle, formerly Roach, had become something of a legend due to just HOW bad her flying was: it wasn't that her wings didn't work, it was the fact that she had almost no control or coordination in midair. She once took off and crashed into the queen herself, who had been standing fifty paces behind her, behind a rock. To this day, Rochelle still didn't know what went wrong. If she'd not demonstrated such incredible speed on the ground, she might have ended up with the name "Bumblebee" instead of Roach. "So I know it would be best to give the little lady over to them. But..."

She tapered off, having difficulty vocalizing what she wanted to say. After a moment, one of the other changelings, an aristo with a long, curved horn, raised a hoof, and said, "My name is Lycosidae, and I'm a changeling."

"Hi, Lyco," the assembled changelings said in unison.

With a giggle, the changeling continued, "I think I understand what you mean. I've spent the last year getting by, volunteering during the day at a local orphanage. I figured that would be the best way to get plenty of love, without having to use any spells. The funny thing is, though, those little kids have a way of worming their way into your heart, and... well, it's always made me sad to see one of them go. I mean, it's great to see that they'll have new parents to care for them, but many of them end up moving far away. It always makes me sad, knowing I may never see them again..."

Another changeling, a commoner raised her hoof and said, "I'm Tick, and I'm a changeling."

"Hi, Tick."

"I spent the better part of the year working at a petshop. I think I had the same idea that Lyco did, just a different target audience. Easy love, no risk. The funny thing is, pets really don't care what you look like, as long as you treat them well, and they're really easy to get attached to. I know it's hardly the same thing, but I think I can understand how hard it can be to say goodbye to someone, even if they're a dog or a cat, that you love, even when you know that there's someone else out there that is able to take better care of them than you could."

"I'm Louse, and I'm a changeling..."

"My name is Popillia Japonica, and I'm a changeling..."

"Name's Stag, and I'm a changeling..."

"Hercules. Changeling..."

"Ironclad, and yes, I'm a changeling..."

The introductions went around the room, and each of them had a story. Some of them were about life in Canterlot, but a few of them were about life before Canterlot, and times when they'd had to leave someone behind, in spite of not wanting to do so. While each story was different, there was one common thread...

You are not alone. Even changelings get the blues.

Finally, a hoof raised tentatively, and said, "My name is Candy Floss, and my best friend is a changeling."

After a moment of silence, the assembled changelings, in unison, said, "Hi, Candy."

Smiling, the pegasus said, "A year ago, right after an invasion, Rochelle walked up to me, out of the blue, and tried to hand Nuisance off to me. After explaining to her why that wouldn't work, she asked me to help her in taking care of the poor little thing. The funny thing is, she needed almost as much care as the kit did."

This got a chorus of laughs from the assembled changelings, as Rochelle blushed bright blue. Unabashed, the pegasus continued, grinning as she said, "Even though she was in disguise, it didn't take me long to figure out that she was a changeling. After all, she didn't know anything about anything. But she tried so hard to take good care of little Nuisance, and she worried constantly. 'Candy, how do you change her diapers again?' 'Candy, she won't stop crying, and I don't know what to do.' 'Candy, how do you preen her wings?' 'Candy, what do you do when she has to hock up a hairball?'" That last one got a big laugh. "Yeah, that was unexplored territory for me, too. The point is, anypony who didn't know anything about changelings would just assume that she'd have just left when things got rough, or that she only viewed the little kit as a food source, but..."

Candy's voice trembled a little bit, before she continued, "But anypony who said that really didn't know the first thing about her. She was genuinely concerned about making certain that Nuisance had the best childhood possible, even if she was a changeling. Even when I accidentally walked in on her changing, the first words out of her mouth were about making sure Nuisance was looked after." There was another round of d'awwww's at that. "I was so scared, not for myself, but that I'd never see her again. It took the better part of an hour to talk her down, to keep her from running off. And when I went to bed that night, I couldn't sleep, worried that I'd hear her door open in the middle of the night, and she'd be gone without a word. You can't imagine how happy I was to see that she was in front of my door, first thing in the morning, asking me to help her with getting Nuisance to stop pecking the furniture."

Rochelle was stunned. It was easy to forget, sometimes, that while you're worrying about this and that, that others are sometimes worrying about you, as well. Rochelle'd never thought that anypony would ever lose a night's sleep worrying about her, but...

With a sigh, Candy said, "But I knew it couldn't last forever. A baby takes a lot of work, and a lot of money, to look after. Even with Rochelle's current savings, she couldn't be expected to be able to care for Nuisance for the rest of her life: without a steady job, she'd be lucky to last a year. It's hard being a single parent, even as an adult, but Ro's still in her teens. Even if she was willing to take care of Nuisance indefinitely, it wouldn't be fair to her. She deserves to have a life beyond being a nanny, even if she is good at it. Which was why..." Candy said, a cunning look crossing her features, "I asked Princess Celestia to mention Nuisance to my uncle Silver Tongue the next time she saw him."

Rochelle's eye widened in shock. "Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that..."

Giggling, Candy said, "That I told the princess to plant the idea of taking Nuisance off your hooves in the head of a member of my family? Of course! You've run yourself ragged for a year, trying to take care of a kit, in spite of not knowing the first thing about child-rearing: you deserve a break from that, and you really don't need to go as far as Griffindale to find good parents for her. But I knew you'd never take the idea seriously if it came from me first." Candy's face turned completely serious as she said, "You keep forgetting, even if I look like a ditz, that I'm still a) Five years older than you, b) a student at Canterlot University, one of the most exclusive and demanding colleges in Equestria, and c) pulling a double major, in two very complex fields, and am still expected to graduate top of my class in both. You're a sweet girl, Ro, but you really need to pay more attention to what's going on around you."

Rochelle's expression was absolute shock: she wanted to call Candy out on that, on trying to manipulate the changeling into giving up Nuisance, but, well... she was right, about practically all of it. She wouldn't have taken the idea serious if Candy had suggested it first...

So instead, she gave her best friend a big hug, and said, "Thanks for always looking out for me."

Smiling, Candy said, "That's what friends are for."

There was the sound of applause around the two, and after a moment, the two detached, blushing a little bit. Reaching for one of the cookies, Candy giggled, and said, "Who wants to go next?"

Rochelle smelled something off, something she'd not noticed before. It almost smelled like insect repellant...

A split second before the cookie would have reached her mouth, Rochelle's hoof struck out, and snatched the cookie out of the pony's hoof. She felt a tingle as it touched her carapace, and stuck her hoof, cookie included, into the pitcher of water...

Where it immediately burst into flames...

While a doctor examined Rochelle's foreleg, a member of the guard spoke with her. "We'd had a few reports of incidents like this. Nothing of this scale, you understand, but acts of a similar nature. Somepony found out that changelings not only were still in Equestria, but they were also being allowed to stay officially... and didn't like the idea."

Rochelle nodded in understanding. Not all ponies were created equal, and some were complete and total monsters. While the three varieties of ponies, well, four now, with the Crystal Empire coming back, got along in harmony, not everyone was as accepting of species outside of the Equine variety. Speciesism was a very real issue, even here...

The guard cleared his throat before he went on. "The, ah, compound that you smelled on the cookies was a nasty formula that was originally developed a few decades ago as a weapon to temporarily paralyze giant, aggressive insects so that they could be relocated harmlessly. It was never used for a variety of reasons, partly because it was extremely hazardous to ponies, or really just about anyone, if accidentally ingested, but mainly because it ignited when exposed to water."

"You're very lucky," the doctor added. "You've got a very tough carapace, and the fire was doused almost immediately by the remaining water in the jug. The poison wasn't anywhere near potent enough to hurt you just from surface contact. You'll be a bit tender for a day or two, and your shell will be discolored until you next moult, but other than that, you'll be fine."

Rochelle nodded, smiling gratefully. "Thanks, doc."

"No, thank you, miss," the doctor said, his face filled with emotion. "Candy was an intern at my clinic last year, and her father is a dear, dear friend of mine. If you hadn't helped her, she'd be in the hospital right now. You may well have saved her life. If you ever need anything, you let me know, young lady."

Rochelle smiled, waved him off, and said, "Don't worry about it. She's my friend too." Turning to the guard, Rochelle asked, "Any idea who might be responsible?"

The guard, his expression carefully neutral, said, "The cookies had been sitting there since this meeting hall opened this morning, so nobuggy saw who might have left them. Even if we did have any leads, I wouldn't be at liberty to discuss possible suspects." A sly look came over his face as he said, "But I will say that the fact that he used something like this narrows down the range of suspects enormously: that substance isn't exactly something you can get hold of easily, and it takes a certain amount of skill to be able to cook something like that into anything without having it blow up in your face. It won't take us long to find him."

"Good," Rochelle said, trying very hard to keep her emotions subdued. If Nuisance had tried to eat one of those cookies...

"Well, I won't keep you any further. We've got your statement, and after we've found the suspect, we'll let you know: your testimony would be greatly appreciated."

Rochelle nodded in understanding. "I'd be glad to: Like I said, Candy's my best friend. Just make sure you find this guy fast."

The guard nodded and said, "Count on it."

After the doctor and the guard finished, Rochelle walked out of the meeting room, and went looking for Candy. She didn't have to go far: the pegasus was chatting with Stag, one of the changelings from the meeting. The two were playing with Nuisance while they talked, and given their body language, she didn't need to hear them to know what they were talking about...

After reuniting with her best friend and her young ward, Rochelle went around the room, getting hugs, words of encouragement, and more, from the assembled changelings. As sunset approached, she said her goodbyes, and walked home with Candy, Nuisance riding on her back.

"So," Rochelle asked, smiling, "You and Stag, huh?"

Blushing, Candy said, "Maybe. He seems like a nice guy, and he's got a cute smile, fangs or no fangs. We'll see how that turns out." After a moment, she continued, a little awkwardly, "Ah, thank you, Ro. I mean it. That was..."

Grinning, Rochelle said, "No problem. That's what friends are for, right?"

Once home, Rochelle put Nuisance to bed, and prepared to get some sleep herself. As she finished her preparations, she couldn't help but come to one very important decision: The sooner she found a new home for Nuisance, the better. Rochelle couldn't bear the thought of the little one being hurt just because she was being raised by a changeling...

Recipe Four: Vengeful Vegetation

"So, we heard you had a bit of an adventure yesterday?"

Rochelle, sitting with Nuisance in her lap alongside Candy Floss, was riding in a carriage with Luna and Celestia. While not strictly necessary, since everyone concerned could fly, it was nice to ride in style. The fact that Rochelle had decided that today, she wasn't going to wear a disguise had surprised all parties involves, and turned a few heads on the way down, the changeling had decided to stop hiding. Hiding now felt like she'd be letting whoever had done this win...

With a sigh, Rochelle answered Luna's question, saying, "Well, it wasn't really an adventure. Just some idiot thinking that an ingestible poison would actually hurt changelings. I mean, if it was a liquid, it could have done some damage, but solids just end up in the stomach pouch for storage, and since changelings don't have saliva, it wouldn't have ignited like it would have in Candy's mouth." Rolling her eyes, she said, "I swear, it was if they were intentionally trying to get a pony, and not a changeling, hurt..."

Luna and Celestia both flinched noticeably. Rochelle would have raised an eyebrow in surprise, if she had been in disguise. Putting two and two together, the changeling said, "That was what they were trying for, wasn't it?"

After a moment, Celestia admitted, "Either that, or it was indeed gross incompetence on their part: While a new law is being prepared to be implemented in the next few weeks that would ensure the rights of changelings across Equestria, that law is not popular, and if the public outcry against it were to become too great..."

Nodding, Rochelle said, "I get you. And if a pony like Candy was suddenly and inexplicably harmed while in a room full of changelings, then there would be more than a few ponies who'd be saying, 'There you go, proof that changelings are evil and can't be trusted.' And then all the work done by changelings like Ling and Mole Cricket would be undone in less than a day."

After a moment, Luna nodded and said, "Exactly. I think that you may have the right idea, by going out in the open without a disguise. We will have to ask the other changelings in the city if they'd be willing to do the same: Once it has been revealed that there is a sizable changeling presence in the city, and that those changelings have been living in peace with ponies for an entire year, that may help in smoothing things over a great deal."

Candy chuckled, then said, "Well, I'm still surprised that there's an actual law going into effect about changelings in general."

With a long, sorrowful sigh, Celestia admitted, "It has proven necessary to reaffirm one of the founding principles of Equestria: Equality for all, regardless of race or species. There are those who discovered that, since changelings are ignorant of the laws and regulations of other nations, they would be easy targets for manipulation. Since the only experience most changelings have with authority is their aristocracy and queen, it would only be natural that they'd assume that the stories that they were told were true."

Luna nodded and said, "The idea that each individual changeling would be held responsible for the invasion is... madness. When two countries, or even when a rogue state like the changeling swarm and a country like Equestria, go to war, it's understood that such an action is the choice of the leadership, not the collective will of each of its citizens. While Equestria does allow for conscientious objection, other lands are not so kind, and refusal to contribute to the war effort can have terrible consequences."

"Right," Rochelle admitted. Refusing to take part in any sort of military action in the swarm was a quick way to get fully extracted, and your paralyzed body to either be left in a hallway as an example to others, or being dropped to the bottom of a lake to spend eternity in the dark depths if the swarm was on the move. The slow madness of dry hibernation was the stuff of nightmares: Alive yet not alive, you were frozen in time, yet fully aware of time's slow crawl around you...

The changeling suppressed a shudder, and said, "Well, anyways, like I said a little while ago, I don't have a problem with giving Nuisance up, provided that Silver Tongue and his wife are as nice as Candy tells me they are."

Giggling, Candy said, "I think you'll get along with them. They're good ponies."

As the carriage finally came to a stop, Rochelle sighed, and said, "Well, here we are, I guess."

Candy raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Having second thoughts?"

"After yesterday? No," the changeling said, more than a little angry, just thinking about it. "You know that Nuisance has a sweet tooth: she could just as easily have tried to eat one of those cookies yesterday. Bad enough you were put at risk, but you're a big girl: Now that you know that being around me can be dangerous, you know to be more careful. Nuisance doesn't have that luxury. She's too young to know the risks that come from being associated with me now. In fact, I don't think she'll ever understand what careful means, to be honest with you."

Candy giggled, then said, "I do see your point. But, just because you're letting others take care of her, doesn't mean you'll never see her again, right?"

Nodding, Rochelle admitted, "Right."

Opening the carriage door, Candy said, "Then don't be so down. It'll all turn out alright."

The princesses stepped out first, followed by Rochelle and Candy Floss. Upon seeing their destination, the changeling froze, stunned. She'd expected that Nuisance's prospective parents would have a house, perhaps just a big one, since they knew the princesses...

...Nopony had told her that they lived in a mansion.

"Wow," Rochelle said, her mouth hanging open. "You didn't tell me your aunt and uncle were loaded, Candy."

Giggling, the pink pegasus said, "You never asked. Uncle, well, step-uncle, Silver Tongue is a part of the Metals clan, one of the wealthiest and most influential families in Equestria. Silver owns high-class restaurants all over the place. Aunt Sweet Dream married him a few years back, and while I'm not 'officially' part of the clan, just related by marriage, I'm considered an honorary member."

After a moment, Rochelle laughed, then said, "You know, we've been friends for a year now, and I'm horrified to find just how little I know about you. Remind me, when we get back, that I need to ask you a few questions."

The princesses, the changeling, and the pegasus were admitted entrance without hesitation, and were met by a gray on gray pegasus who could only be Silver Tongue, as well as a blonde maned, purple-coated mare who, given the similarities in facial structure and body type, had to be Sweet Dream, Candy's aunt. The princesses, naturally, were greeted first. Decorum, and all that.

After a moment, Sweet Dream turned towards the changeling and, with a radiant smile, said, "And you must be Rochelle. Candy has told us so much about you. Mind you, she didn't tell us you were a changeling until yesterday, but I suppose every girl has to have her secrets."

With a laugh, Rochelle admitted, "Well, I just found out that Candy has a few secrets of her own that she's not yet decided to share with me, but I think I can forgive her for that. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Sweet Dream." Rochelle extended a foreleg to shake hooves, but was startled when she was abruptly pulled into a fierce hug.

"I probably should have warned you," Candy said, giggling. "Aunt Dream is a hugger."

After they detached, Rochelle was surprised to find that Sweet Dream was now holding Nuisance. Cooing at the little griffin, the mare said, "So you're the little bundle of trouble that I've heard so much about. You don't seem so bad."

As if on cue, Nuisance took Sweet Dream's mane in her tiny beak, and yanked hard, pulling out several hairs. Staring down at the griffin, Dream's shocked expression was priceless.

With a chuckle, Silver Tongue said, "Well, I can see why you named her Nuisance."

Laughing herself, Rochelle admitted, "Well, I was originally going to go with Pain-In-The-Flank, but it doesn't quite roll off the tongue."

With a small giggle, Sweet Dream said, "Well, I'd read that most griffins start out a bit rowdy." The mare hugged the griffin, who immediately hugged her back with a coo. "But they usually grow out of it by the time they're three. It'll be a bit of an adventure, but I think we can get her under control."

Silver Tongue walked over to Rochelle, and said, "I am Silver Tongue. I heard about what you did yesterday. If you ever need anything, let me know. I, and the entire Metals clan, are in your debt."

Blushing, Rochelle said, "It wasn't a big deal. She's my best friend after all..." The changeling's train of though trailed off, as she suddenly caught a scent. A familiar scent, and one she had smelled only yesterday. One suspiciously similar to insect repellant...

Candy Floss turned towards Rochelle, and said, "Rochelle, you're growling. What's wrong?"

Changelings don't have hackles like a dog does, but they do have a fringe on the back of their necks that will sometimes shake when angry. And Rochelle was very, very angry. Her frill was shaking so violently that it was vibrating...

"Be right back," Rochelle said, and with no further explanation, she was off.

Rochelle's top speed had been clocked at something like fifty miles per hour in the past, and that was without 'burning' love to increase her own natural abilities. She was burning love now. Oh yes, and how. The windows of the mansion rattled as she ran by, paintings shook from the nails that they hung by, and had she not taken a brief detour on the walls and the ceiling, she would have collided violently with more than one pony along the way. In less than three seconds, she had crossed the entire length of the mansion and was now standing in front of a chef, a youngish yellow earth pony wearing an apron and toque. With no warning, and no delay, she grabbed the chef, and hauled him back in front of the princesses, going, if anything, even faster. Had she gone even slightly faster, she might have created a sonic rainboom on hoof...

Now before the princesses, Candy Floss, and the rest, Rochelle threw the chef to the ground, then stood over him, their faces a bare inch apart. Rochelle gave another growl, longer and slower. Some say that a growl is a threat. This one was a promise.

The chef shrieked in fear, suddenly realizing what had happened, and that he was now face to face with an angry changeling. Terrified for his life, he cried out, "GET IT OFF ME!!!"

"It? You have a lot of nerve, calling me it," Rochelle said, her voice shaking with barely repressed fury. With a swat of her hooves, she knock the chef's hat off. When it hit the ground, a small pouch fell out. The pouch opened, releasing its contents on the floor, small blue crystals, barely larger than a grain of rice. Almost instantly, the room was filled with the overpowering stench of insect repellant.

Horrified, Silver Tongue stared down at the bag, and after a moment, said, "Saffron Spice, how could you..."

Hauling the earth pony up with one hoof, and standing on her hind legs, Rochelle roared, "I'm an it? You almost put my best friend in the hospital! You could have done worse to my little girl! You dare to call ME an it?!" Her voice turned cold and hard as she said, "Well then, maybe I should show you what an 'it' can do." Reaching into her mouth, Rochelle pulled out something she'd had in her stomach pouch since yesterday morning. Making certain that the other ponies present saw what it was, the changeling said, "You tried to set Candy's mouth on fire. Let me return the flavor."

And with that, she shoved a whole Screaming Griffindorian Pepper, already one of the hottest peppers in the world and soaked in the juices of a dozen other, slightly less spicy peppers, into the pony's mouth, then crushed it between his teeth through the simple expedient of giving him an uppercut to the jaw.

"ARRRRRGH IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP!!!"

"I don't approve of vigilante justice," Princess Celestia said, looking highly amused, in spite of herself, "So I'm going to have to ask you to let him drink something. Eventually."

Sitting atop the writhing pony, Rochelle said, "Well, he can wait a bit. It will be a little bit before Candy comes back with a glass of milk. Water won't help this kind of thing: It just spreads the pepper juice around, making things worse."

"THE PAIN!!! THE AGONY!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MERCY!!! PLEASE!!!"

The Screaming Griffindorian Pepper was well named: even one drop of the juice would make a gigantic pot of beans unbearably spicy for the average pony. The entire pepper could make a grown minotaur cry out. Combined with the juices of the other peppers that had been sitting in Rochelle's stomach pouch, well, it made for a dreadful punishment, regardless of how well deserved it might have been.

Sighing, Silver Tongue said, "I can't begin to apologize enough for his actions. I knew that Saffron's brother had gone MIA during the invasion, and that he had expressed a dim view of changelings in Equestria, but this?" Shaking his head sadly, he said, "After six years, you think you know somepony, and then they do something like this."

Candy walked in, carrying a glass of milk. She set it down in front of the earth pony, and after a moment's consideration, Rochelle released her grip, letting the earth pony go. Tears streaming down his face, Saffron Spice drank deeply, swished the fluid around in his mouth, then swallowed.

With a shrug, Rochelle said, "Well, I'm sorry to hear about his brother, and I certainly hope he turns up one day, but that's no excuse for what Saffron tried to do. I mean, I could kind of accept it, maybe, if he'd just decided to go and beat up changelings: We're a hardy folk, and are used to taking the occasional beating, although we try to give as good as we get. But trying to make changelings look bad by hurting his fellow ponies?" With a sigh of her own, Rochelle said, "Well, I can't help but wonder what his brother would say about that."

"Well," a voice said, with a noticeable drawl, "Ah'd say that ah can't imagine what in the world he was thinkin', doin' somethin' like that. That jus' ain't right."

In the doorway, standing beside a female changeling, was a tall and rather well built earth pony clad in the armor of the Equestrian Guard. While his coat was a dark brown, and he was significantly more buff, the family resemblance was striking.

Gasping, trying very hard to find his voice, Saffron managed to croak out, "Mustard Seed? But how? I thought you were..."

"Nah, but it got pretty close a time or two," Pulling off his helmet, and revealing a shock of bright yellow mane, the pony nodded to the princesses and said, "Sorry for not seeking you both out right away, your highnesses, but after a year away, Ah thought the first pony Ah should see when Ah got back was my brother."

Luna, smiling, said, "It's quite alright, sergeant. It's good to see you here. Although I feel a brief explanation might be in order."

The guard chuckled, and said, "Well, thar ain't much to it, really. When the big spell hit the changelings, this young lady here collided with me, and we both ended up flying out of the city. We ended up a real long way's off, in unfamiliar territory, and both of us pretty banged up. It took half a year before either one of us was fit to be movin' anyplace, and in the meantime, we had plenty of time to get acquainted. Since neither of us knew where we were, and things were pretty dangerous out in the back end of nowhere, we figured we'd stick together until we made it back to civilization... or maybe a little bit longer."

The changeling in question giggled, and said, "There's a lot he's leaving out, like the fact that we ended up spending half the trip here running from angry trolls, or the bit with the ogre, or the fact that he just proposed to me yesterday," she added, showing a bright gold band around one foreleg, "but that's a story for another time." Looking down at the now thoroughly abashed chef, she said, "You know, he told me so much about you. I was hoping that you'd be a lot better than this..."

Saffron now looked utterly humiliated: he'd gone to such lengths to 'avenge' his brother, when in fact he was not only still alive, but he'd been saved by, and was now engaged to, a changeling...

"But I suppose," the changeling said, smiling, "that I can forgive you. After all, you were out of your head with grief."

"Well shucks, if she's gonna say that, I suppose I can't stay angry at ya, neither," Mustard said, giving his brother a hug. "We've got a ton of catching up to do, brother. You would not believe some of the stuff that's happened..."

"Well, far be it from me to spoil a moment like this," Candy said, looking at the shamed earth pony. "I could get you into a lot of trouble, and we'd both agree you deserve it, but I think I'll be nice today and not press charges for what happened earlier." Saffron looked up, hopeful. "You still have a lot to answer for, naturally, but that's something you can talk about with the princesses. I'm sure they'll be compassionate, given the circumstances." Looking over at Luna and Celestia, the pegasus grinned cheerfully.

Looking thoughtful, Luna admitted, "Well, I suppose we could work something out. We'll discuss it at length a little later, after he's gotten caught up with his brother."

Celestia, grinning, winked, then said, "Far be it from us to get between two siblings, long separated but now suddenly reunited."

If Rochelle's eye had visible pupils, she would have rolled them, but she said, "I guess I can't hold a grudge. I think I've got it out of my system. But if I ever hear about him doing anything like this again..." She pounded her forelegs together meaningfully.

Saffron cringed, then said, "Never again, I swear!"

Smiling sweetly, Rochelle said, "Good."

Silver Tongue sighed, then said, "Well, as wonderful as all of this is, I fear I do have a problem I'll have to go and fix."

Raising an eyebrow, Candy Floss asked, "What problem?"

Pointing at Saffron, Silver said, "This young fool was supposed to be my entry for a major cooking competition tomorrow. While I didn't necessarily expect him to win, I've had a chef taking part in the contest every year for the last twenty years. It's a matter of prestige: Just sponsoring a chef in the annual 'Ultimate Chef Competition' is a tremendous honor, and it makes my restaurant, Le Couteau Doré, the talk of the city for weeks afterwards. I'd hate to break that tradition now, but I don't think any judge would want to try something he's cooked right now, and I doubt any of my other chefs would be willing to come in on such short notice."

Sighing, then staring up at the ceiling, Rochelle said, "Well, if it's just cooking, and it doesn't really matter if I win or not, I could probably do it."

Everypony, and since there was another changeling in the room, everybuggy, turned to look at Rochelle. With a shrug, she said, "Well, cooking for a group of judges can't be any more difficult than cooking for Nuisance. And if it's a matter of prestige, well, think how famous you'll get for sponsoring the first changeling chef in Equestria?"

Silver Tongue sat and thought for a moment. He seemed ambivalent about the idea...

Celestia walked over to the pegasus and whispered something in his ear. Silver looked up at the princess, shocked. After a moment, Celestia nodded. Turning to Rochelle, Silver Tongue said, "Alright. I'll give you a shot. Be here bright and early tomorrow morning, and we'll see if you can manage it."

Recipe Five: Fast Food

"You cannot possibly be serious!"

Rochelle did not flinch when the pony in front of her began shouting. Tilting her head to one side, she asked, making certain that her voice remained neutral, "You have a problem with a changeling taking part in this contest?"

The changeling stood in a waiting room with the other chefs who were preparing to take part in the 'Ultimate Chef Competition'. While there were several ponies, there was also a griffin, a naga, and even a minotaur taking part as well. Apparently, being a pony was not a prerequisite. However, one of the chefs, a tall, dark earth pony with a close cropped black mane, seemed to take offense at her taking part in the competition...

The earth pony chef in question, his name tag announcing him to be named Blackberry Trifle, declared, "Of course I do! You have a lot of nerve, waltzing in here after what you lot pulled last year. I'm surprised that they didn't just throw you out on your flank."

Rochelle huffed, and then said, "Well, there was some talk about that, but Her Royal Tallness was on hoof to say that I had her permission to be here."

Trifle raised an eyebrow, then said, "Her Royal... wait, you mean Princess Celestia?"

Smiling, Rochelle asked, "You know anypony taller?"

With a chuckle, the stallion admitted, "No, I suppose I don't." His expression turned serious as he said, "If the princess says that you have her permission to be here, I could not possibly gainsay her. If she were to say that you were a law abiding citizen, I would not argue with her, either." With something approaching a glare, Trifle said, "However, do not think that, if she said you were a chef, that makes you a chef. She is the ruler of the nation, but even she bows before the knowledge and experience of her head chef when she walks into the palace kitchens. You might be able to cook. You might even be able to cook well... but there is much more to being a chef than that."

Times like this made Rochelle wish she had eyebrows in her default state. She really wanted to be able to raise one right now. "Well, I will keep that in mind. I don't have any illusions about my cooking skills. I'm here because I'm doing a favor for some nice folks who are doing a solid favor for me and my little girl. I don't imagine I'll win..." She took a deep breath, then continued, her expression much more determined, "But don't think for a second I won't give it my best."

Smiling, perhaps in spite of himself, the chef said, "Well, nopony can ask for more than that. We'll see how well you do." With a shrug, Blackberry Trifle turned around, and walked off.

A moment, one of the other pony competitors said, "I'd recommend watching your step around him."

Rochelle turned and looked at the speaker. If there was ever a generic gourmet pony chef, this was the pony whose looks would fit the bill. Later that day, Rochelle would have been difficulty remembering what color his coat was, let alone what his name was.

The overly generic chef said, "That was Blackberry Trifle, Princess Celestia's personal chef. He's won this competition five years running. If he wins this one, it'll be a new world record. Not to mention the fact that he's the head of the Equestrian Gourmet Society. If he wasn't one of the competitors this year, he'd definitely be one of the judges."

"I'll keep that in mind," Rochelle said, her expression carefully neutral. Inside, however, she was near panic. Celestia's personal chef? Here? The changeling had understood that this wasn't called the 'Ultimate Chef Competition' just because it sounded impressive, but she'd not fully realized just how big a deal this was going to be... until now. This was the big leagues, and she'd not even been in the minors yet...

Four hours earlier...

"Rochelle, I really do appreciate you volunteering for this," Silver Tongue said gratefully, as the pony finished filling out the paperwork for her entry into the competition.

As the changeling began tying on her apron, she said, "It's no big deal. I can't help but feel a little bit responsible about this whole situation. I mean, I didn't have to resolve matters so... dramatically. I let my temper get the better of me." Rochelle had faced a lot of situations over the last year were her temper had flared, but she'd kept her cool. However, when Candy Floss, or even Nuisance, had been put at serious risk because of one pony's grudge...

The gray pegasus said, "It's an incredibly big deal. The Ultimate Chef Competition is one of the biggest cooking competitions in the world. There will be ponies and other creatures from all across the world competing today. Don't be surprised if you end up seeing somepony, or somebeastie, who's world famous, or personally cooks for royalty. The competition will be fierce, and while it certainly isn't important that you win, it is critical that you do your absolute best. To do otherwise would... well, it wouldn't look good, either for you or for me."

If Rochelle had visible pupils, she would have rolled her eyes. "You'll get my best, Mister Silver. I definitely won't embarrass you today."

Turning in the completed form, Silver Tongue nodded, then said with a smile, "I know you won't. Come and see me after this is all over. I have something that I want to talk to you about."

Fifteen hours before that...

"She has the potential to be a great chef."

Silver Tongue looked up at Princess Celestia, who had just whispered into his ear, right after Rochelle had volunteered to be his entry into the contest tomorrow. The princess nodded, confirming that he had heard her right. Silver gave that some serious thought. Rochelle may or may not be a great chef one day, but since she'd no longer be caring for Nuisance, she'd never have another reason to cook again. However, if she was given a chance to cook for others, and found out how her cooking compared to other great cooks in Equestria, and the rest of the world, then she might be given reason to continue on that path...

Turning to Rochelle, Silver Tongue said, "Alright. I'll give you a shot. Be here bright and early tomorrow morning, and we'll see if you can manage it."

He just hoped that the pressure of the competition tomorrow didn't get to her...

Now...

Rochelle had spent a year mastering self-control, which was the only reason she wasn't screaming in absolute panic right now. This was bad. This was really, incredibly, absurdly bad. She was so confident earlier today that this would be something she could just walk in and do without any problems. Now she knew, without a doubt, that she had made the biggest mistake in her life: she was going to embarrass herself, her best friend's family (and by extension, her best friend), and changelings the world over. What was she thinking? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...

She stood in a line with the other contestants, as they waited for the judges for the competition to arrive in the grand hall. The contest proper was to take place here in the royal palace in Canterlot. There would be a speech, followed by a list of rules for the competition, then they'd be allowed to gather ingredients and begin cooking. They'd be given four hours to complete their meals and turn them in for judging. The standards by which the meal would be judged would be discussed shortly, and while some of them remained constant (flavor, presentation, simple things like that), there were other factors that would be unique to this contest, and even a few that would remain secret until the judging began.

Finally, the judges had assembled. There were only three this year: A griffin, a minotaur, and an earth pony. While the griffin and the minotaur looked, at most, in their forties, the pony was old, with a long, white beard. It was the pony who approached to give the speech.

"The world of cuisine," the elderly pony began, "is an ever-changing place. New trade routes open, new ingredients are discovered, and even new ways to prepare even the most basic meals can be discovered in as little as one year's time. For that reason, the rules of this competition change annually. If one sticks simply to the same recipes, then the delicious meals of today quickly become bland and unpalatable. Variety, as some say, is the spice of life."

That matched what Rochelle knew about cooking: Nuisance might eat the same food two days in a row, if it was especially good, but she'd never tolerate it three times in the same week...

"The ultimate chef, however, is not the one who can create the best meal. Any cook can, with sufficient talent, time, and patience, create a delicious meal for all to enjoy. No, there is far more to being a chef than just the quality of their meal. You would all do well to remember that, whether you win today or not."

Clearing his throat, the oldster said, "With that said, I shall now announce the rules of today's competition. This year, the theme of your entries will be 'The Perfect Meal'. You may pursue whatever dish you feel meets that standard. Bear in mind, however, you will be asked to explain in what way your meal meets that standard. Your meal may have as little as a single item, or as many as time allows you to cook. Please remember, however, that there is a time constraint, so don't try to give us the Ib'Xian Imperial Feast." Here, the elderly pony gave a small chuckle.

Rochelle nearly laughed herself: Silver Tongue had mentioned that, decades before, a chef tried to win the competition by cooking the legendary meal, which took a total of three days and nights to prepare, and contained over three hundred rare delicacies. At that time, the meals were supposed to be sampled simultaneously, and any of his competitors would have had their own entries spoil, go cold, or melt, depending on what was cooked. However, since the chef ultimately couldn't justify how his meal met that year's standard, he was disqualified. After that, a strict time limit was imposed, as well as a rule that the competitors could turn in their meal for tasting as soon as it was ready.

"The meal you serve will be judged on three basic criteria: Flavor, Presentation, and Creativity. Please keep in mind," And here, the pony cleared his throat, then continued, "even if your meal gets top marks in two of those three categories, a poor showing in the third will, without a doubt, cost you dearly."

"Finally, each of you will be observed over the course of this contest, and your actions will be evaluated. You will be judged, based upon your behavior, on three very critical criteria. In order to ensure that your behavior is honest and genuine, those criteria will not be named until all of your dishes have been presented. However, I will say this: If you act in a manner befitting a true chef, you will have nothing to fear."

Gesturing towards the doorway behind him, the elderly pony said, "And with that said, the preliminaries are over. The ingredients are just beyond this door, and the kitchens are a little ways further in. You have four hours. You may begin now."

Rochelle had half-expected a frantic rush into the next room, but instead, the chefs moved into the area beyond slowly, and calmly. Possibly, that was because they were all trying to think on what their entry into the contest should be like she was. Seriously, they were wanting 'The Perfect Meal'? And they were expecting her to be able to explain why she felt it was 'perfect'? Rochelle, who had no taste buds whatsoever?

Rochelle was so lost in thought that she didn't see the ingredients available until she was almost to the pile. In truth, it was the massive shadow that the ingredients cast which caused her to look up. When she did, her eyes widened in shock. Some ponies would have said that the stack of food before her was enormous, or titanic, or stupendous. However, Rochelle was a changeling, so there was only one thing that she could say...

With a disgusted snort, Rochelle said, "Typical."

Blackberry Trifle, who was standing, surprisingly, right beside her, turned a questioning eye towards the changeling and asked, "The ingredients don't meet with your approval?"

Looking at the massive stack of fruits, vegetables, and more, Rochelle said, "The ingredients themselves? No. The quantity? Yes."

With a disbelieving expression, Trifle asked, "Not enough for you?"

"No," Rochelle said, annoyed, "There's enough here to make a meal to rival the Ib'Xian Imperial Feast. That's the problem." At the stallion's continued look of disbelief, Rochelle sighed, then said, "I don't think you'd get it unless I explained it to you, in detail. It's a changeling thing."

Glaring at the excessive number of ingredients, an idea came to Rochelle. It was so simple, yet so obvious. It was an epiphany, or a perhaps a moment of clarity. Maybe both. Who can say? However, she now had an answer to the question of the day: What would make the perfect meal? It was an answer that only a changeling would come up with, but it was still valid, right? And she had just the recipes in mind to make it happen.

Picking ingredients out of the pile, Rochelle said, "Well, there's only four hours, minus about three minutes, to get things ready. I can explain it to you when we've both finished our entries, if you're interested."

Nodding, Blackberry Trifle admitted, "I suppose I am."

Seventy-five days ago...

Rochelle and Candy Floss were preparing a meal for Nuisance. Griffins moved up to solid foods very quickly, due to the fact that they didn't have to wait for their baby teeth to come in: The little one's beak was more than up to taking apart solids, and the chick was already using it to crack walnuts.

Rochelle, having finished her current task, asked, "Okay, so I've peeled the bananas. What do I do with the peels?"

Candy Floss, with a shrug, said, "You can just throw them away."

Rochelle's jaw dropped, and the expression that the changeling gave the pegasus would not have been more horrified if Candy had said, "Go kick a puppy, then swallow a kitten whole when you're done."

The pegasus, still coming to terms with the fact that Rochelle was a changeling at the time, asked, "What's wrong?"

Rochelle was at a loss for words. She sputtered, tried to get out a coherent explanation, but simply could not. It was like trying to explain why setting fire to orphanages was a bad thing.

Taking a moment to clear her head, the changeling took a deep breath, then said, "Candy, you know I'm a changeling, and I know you're a pony, so we both have radically different upbringings. I know that, in pony terms, you're considered to be good. Very good, in fact, and I cannot help but to agree. But if a changeling ever heard you say that, and they knew nothing about ponies whatsoever, they would consider you the second coming of King Sombra. In fact, they'd think you were ten thousand times worse than King Sombra could ever hope to be."

With a startled expression, Candy Floss asked, "For throwing away a banana peel?"

Rochelle, her expression completely serious, shook her head, then said, "No. For committing the one crime in the books worse than high treason."

Now...

Rochelle was a blur of activity. While she was very careful of where she stepped so she would not collide with another contestant, and took care to make certain that she did not accidentally harm herself while chopping, cutting, or dicing, she went as fast as she possibly could without burning love. Several of the contestants would look up in surprised as she went by in a blur.

For the average chef, it would have taken close to two hours to complete the meal she had in mind. Rochelle managed it in one quarter of that time: a few of the ingredients had to be cooked over an open flame, and that could not be hurried.

As she pulled the finished product out of the oven, she gestured to one of the judges, and said, "Mine is done."

The elderly pony, raising a great, bushy eyebrow, asked, "Are you certain, young lady? This isn't a race. You won't get bonus points for finishing first."

Chuckling, Rochelle said, "I'm sure. I've gotten good at cooking good food fast. If you work with a fussy eater of a griffin chick pecking at the back of your head, you'll learn how to get things done quickly without sacrificing quality."

This got more than a little bit of laughter from the judges, as well as the contestants. One of the judges, a griffin, giggled good and hard, admitting, "Oh yes, dearie, I've been there. You don't waste time when the little ones get hungry."

Nodding in agreement, the elderly earth pony said, "Indeed. I suppose the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. If you say you are ready, then you are ready. Let's see what you have."

Seventy-four days ago...

Rochelle had laid down the law yesterday. After explaining why she had been so upset with Candy Floss, the changeling had insisted that Candy find out what could be done with the peels, or else Rochelle would expect the pegasus to eat them, while the changeling watched, and they would not make another recipe containing the fruit again.

Chalk it up to cultural differences, but this was the first time that Rochelle had insisted on anything, and had stated, flat out, that it was either this, or the two were no longer friends. Changelings have very few principles, but that made those principles all the more important.

Candy Floss came in with a list, and after closing the door, said, "Alright. I asked around. Here's what you can do with a banana peel: Shoe polish, teeth whitener, a cure for warts, a relief for itching, silverware polish, a repellant for aphids in the garden, compost, fertilizer for tomatoes, treatment for several skin conditions, and if you boil it in water and then drink the water, then it can serve as an anti-depressant. There might be more, but that's what I found out today."

Rochelle smiled, then said, "Good. Now, you do understand why I insisted on you looking into all of that, right?"

Remembering the hour-long lecture that the changeling had given yesterday, Candy nodded, then said, "I do. I'm sorry about yesterday. I just... well, I guess I never really thought of it like that before. I talked to a foreign exchange student from Sphinxia, and he confirmed what you told me about how precious water is out there. And... well, I remember what my grandma told me about the great famine that struck when she was a kid. Things got pretty ugly before the end. It's just.."

Sighing, Rochelle said, "It's water under the bridge. We were raised in different worlds, that's all. Just remember, next time: Nothing should ever go to waste."

The judges were now sampling Rochelle's offering, and while their response was restrained, the changeling thought that they were pleased with the results. The meal contained several servings, and as the judges moved through the meal, they began nodding. It seemed they might be getting the overall theme without her having to explain it to them.

At the end, the three judges spoke in whispers, then turned back to Rochelle. "Since the contest is still ongoing," the minotaur said, nodding, "we won't ask for the recipes you've used just yet. However, we do find your overall choice of ingredients for each selection to be very interesting. Each portion of the overall meal contains different parts of each fruit or vegetable used to create them. It would not be wrong to say that your entry uses every last part of each ingredient, except the seeds, but those can be planted, naturally. While we have an idea of what your answer might be, we would still like you to say it aloud, for the record. Why is this the perfect meal?"

"The reason, I think, is one that only a changeling would truly understand," Rochelle admitted, "but I will do my best to explain it. In desert lands, the worst criminals are those who despoil wells, making the water undrinkable. During times of conflict, it is often considered an act of total war, since the perpetrator has ensured that no one can ever live in that region again. Spilling even a small amount of water, on that note, is considered a terrible waste, and terrible fights have been known to break out when a container was broken due to carelessness or reckless behavior. It would not be a terrible exaggeration to say that, in those lands, water is worth its weight in gold. Likewise, in times of famine, wasting food by either refusing to eat it or leaving it to spoil is considered unthinkable. During the great famine seventy years ago, a farmer was given life in prison when, in a bitter rivalry with another farmer, he burned his competitor's grain silo, destroying enough food to feed several hundred ponies. That crime would normally have been punished by fifteen years in prison, at most, since nopony was hurt. Likewise, I can name, off the top of my head, at least fifteen revolutions that came about because the aristocracy ate excessively, yet at the same time, wastefully, while the common citizens were starving. Half of those were within the last century. One of them was only five years ago."

The judges nodded in understanding, although the griffin made a gesture that implied that it would be a good idea to get to the point sooner, rather than later.

"For changelings, love energy is always scarce. Obtaining even a day's worth of love means putting your life at risk, masquerading as another creature and spending time in a region where you will face terrible, painful reprisals if caught. Even if that love is obtained during conquest, which is even riskier, there is always a finite amount obtained, and the next conquest has to be scheduled well within the time allotted. Ponies, and most other creatures, can go a very long amount of time without food, or at least with very little. A changeling cannot go a second without love: we freeze into immobility the instant we go dry, and cannot move again unless more is supplied. We live, or at least, the majority of us have lived, on the very edge of starvation... which is why the crime of wasting love energy without a real, urgent need is considered a crime even worse than high treason. And it is punished the same way."

Clearing her throat, Rochelle stated, "That is why the perfect meal is one that does not waste any part of the ingredients used to make it. Flavor is relative, and a fine meal for one can be indigestible garbage to another. Some are allergic to ingredients that would make a meal truly flavorful. However, a tasty and nutritious meal that makes the utmost use of each ingredient available is something that be appreciated by anyone."

The elderly earth pony chuckled, then with a nod, stated, "Well said, young lady."

Rochelle, steeling herself to ask what she knew would be a difficult question, said, "And on that note, sirs and madam, I have a very important question I need to ask."

Rochelle began pulling ingredients off of the big pile, and began preparing them for cooking. It hadn't taken much to convince the judges to let her start cooking the ingredients that were not being used, after that little speech. Rochelle had met, yesterday, changelings who worked at orphanages, retirement homes, and other places where excellent food is rare, and would be greatly appreciated. Runners had been sent to let those changelings know that a very large amount of food was going to be coming their way.

Seeing perfectly good food go to waste made Rochelle's chitin itch, and she'd been shocked to hear that arrangements had not been made regarding what was left after the contest. Some of this stuff would go bad within a day, two tops...

Blackberry Trifle had just finished presenting his entry (his idea of a perfect meal was 'one that brings everyone together'. She would love to get that recipe: it had smelled remarkable, and she wanted to hear how he was able to express that in the form of food). As she began chopping up vegetables to go into a stew, she heard somepony clear their throat behind her. She turned, only to see Trifle himself standing there.

The pony looked slightly embarrassed, but stated, in a voice loud enough to be overheard by all, "I heard what you told the judges. While I cannot say that I am a fan of the idea of changelings integrating into Equestrian society, I will say that, like you, I cannot abide good food going to waste. What can I do to help you?"

Keeping her expression carefully neutral, Rochelle said, "Well, I'd say that the best place to start is with the dairy products, and the eggs. Those will spoil very quickly if they're not used. If you know any recipes that will make use of those, start working on them now. Don't throw away anything that's left over: You'd be surprised with how much you can do with even a spare banana peel." Looking back at the pile, Rochelle admitted, "About a quarter of that pile with spoil in the next day or two. Done right, we'll be able to get all of that, and more, cooked and on its way before time is up. Don't worry about making anything super-fancy, just make something good that will feed as many ponies as possible."

Nodding in understanding, Blackberry Trifle went to work.

Fifteen minutes later, one of the other chefs, the minotaur, who had just finished presenting his work to the judges, walked over to the pair as they worked, and asked the same. Then another chef, a unicorn, came up and asked the same question that Blackberry Trifle had. Then another, and another. In the last hour, more than half of the competitors were working together to prepare the bountiful supply of ingredients for consumption. A few had difficulties (the naga, having no limbs, couldn't do much, and would have gotten in the way due to her length, but knew more about how to prepare eggs than just about anyone here, so she was placed in charge of overseeing the distribution and preparation of that particular ingredient), but, asides from those who were using up every last minute in preparation of their dishes, every chef available was working on making meals that would feed, if Rochelle was calculating things right, more than two hundred ponies across the city...

A bell rang, indicated that the time for preparation was over, and the remaining contestants presented their collected ingredients to the judges. It took the better part of another hour for everything to be judged, but once it was, the judges asked the chefs still hard at work to find a place to pause while the results were read out. Five minutes ready, the chefs were all assembled across one side of the kitchens in a straight line, while the judges stood on the other side.

The griffon spoke first, stating, "The final results for all assembled here will be made available to you after the top three have been announced. I can honestly say that there has not been a single competition in the last decade with an average score this high: All of you have done excellent work, and should be proud of yourselves."

The minotaur spoke next. "The award for third place goes to Serpentina, and her entry. Her theme was based on the idea that the perfect meal was one that could be eaten by anyone, even someone without limbs or teeth."

Rochelle had seen that entry: some sort of egg-shaped creation that had a shell that dissolved in the mouth, spreading the contents across the tongue in a delicious surge of flavor. She'd called it, rather appropriately, 'The Flavor Grenade'. The naga had agreed to give Rochelle the recipe later.

"Second place goes to Steely Gaze, and his entry. The theme," the earth pony said, grinning at the memory, "was based on the idea that the perfect meal was one that was a delight to both the eyes and the tongue."

Steely Gaze, the minotaur, had surprised his entry, a massive confectionery masterpiece: a recreation of Canterlot Palace, in the form of a cake. The detail that the pâtissier had included in his work had stunned the judges, and in terms of presentation alone had outshone every other entry. The fact that he was able to craft such a wonder so quickly spoke volumes of the baker's skill.

Well, that was that, Rochelle guessed. After all, Blackberry Trifle's entry was practically guaranteed to win first place. The changeling had heard the judges' exclamations of delight while she'd been working earlier: if, after a reaction like that, he hadn't won first place, there was something seriously wrong here...

The earth pony judge, smiling, stated, "Finally, for the first time in over a decade, we have a tie for first place." After the surprised hubbub died down, the elderly pony said, "First, there is Blackberry Trifle, and his entry, based on the idea that the perfect meal was one that brings us together."

There was a round of applause from all assembled. This was history in the making: As previously mentioned, this was the pony's sixth straight win. That would make it a world record, and would, according to what Rochelle had heard, place him in the culinary hall of fame for decades to come.

Well, good for him. Whatever he may feel about changelings, Rochelle had to admit that Trifle wasn't a bad guy. Still, it was a little disappointing that she didn't even get into the top three...

"The second winner," the griffin said, smiling as well, "is Rochelle, and her entry, based on the idea that the perfect meal wastes nothing in its creation."

Rochelle's jaw dropped, clearly surprised at this development. How? She was certain that her entry wasn't as delicious as Blackberry Trifle's...

"It does bear a little bit of explanation," the earth pony judge admitted, looking at Rochelle's stupefied expression, with a look of amusement. "In terms of flavor, presentation, and creativity, Blackberry Trifle's entry won high marks across the board. In terms of his personal behavior during the competition, we also found nothing wrong in that regard, asides from the friction between the two of you, Miss Rochelle. Given that he was willing to work with you in spite of his personal feelings overrode that problem, so that it did not have a negative impact on his score."

The griffin judge nodded, then said, "Meanwhile, your own entry had excellent flavor, and in terms of creativity was unmatched. The idea of a meal where every usable part of each ingredient was used to their maximum potential required remarkable skill and forethought to accomplish. Your presentation was not quite as exceptional, which was only to be expected, since we were given to understand you've had no formal training in the culinary arts, but we found it was still more than acceptable. Your presentation would not quite cut the mustard at a royal banquet, but would be regarded as exceptional anywhere else. However, it was in the category of your behavior as a chef where you truly shone."

Gesturing towards the massive pile of ingredients, the minotaur judge announced, "The truth is, what we said earlier in regards to there being no plans regarding the leftover ingredients was a lie. Arrangements had already been made with the kitchen staff in the palace to make certain that this would not go to waste."

The earth pony judge nodded, then said, "A true chef would never let good ingredients spoil. That is a given. The fact that your first thought was to how many ponies could be fed with this food does you credit. The fact that you were willing to use personal connections to ensure that this food would go to where it can do the most good was what ultimately put you in the winner's circle. Rest assured, the arrangements you've made will stand. A great many ponies are going to eat well tonight thanks to you."

Clearing his throat, the earth pony continued, stating with a solemn expression, "It is so easy to forget, while many of us cook for the wealthy and the powerful, that the same ingredients that could feed a king or queen and their court for a day, could easily have been used to feed ponies elsewhere for much longer. Anyone who would be willing to cook a vast banquet for those with wealth and power, but does not spare a thought to those starving outside of that ivory tower, has no right to call themselves a chef. Whether you cook for the ruler of a great nation, or a penniless pauper, you have a duty to make certain that you do your best to make certain that nothing is wasted." With a meaningful glance towards Rochelle, the pony said, "It amazes me that someone who cannot eat food as we understand it, or even taste it, could grasp something so easily, while so many others might have missed it completely, until it was pointed out to them. While you may have been a dark horse entry, so to speak, rest assured that, from today onwards, the culinary society of Equestria, if not the entire world, will be watching your progress with great interest. We will look forward to seeing you here next year."

There was much rejoicing, as the saying goes, as the competitors slapped each other on the back, and swapped recipes. Blackberry Trifle's entry was... interesting, but it wasn't one Rochelle could expect to duplicate easily. She still had miles to go before she'd be able to even begin working on that one. Still, one day, she hoped she could get that one going. Serpentina's Flavor Grenade was just within her skill level, though...

"Miss Rochelle," Blackberry Trifle said, standing behind her, breaking her out of her reverie. How did he keep doing that? Was he a ninja or something?

Turning, the changeling saw the earth pony standing beside a mare, a child with a definite resemblance to both ponies hugging the stallion's leg. So, it turned out he was married. That was a pity, as Rochelle had a thing for the tall, dark, and handsome type, and Trifle definitely fit the bill.

"I believe that I was more than a little rude to you at the beginning of this competition." The stallion bowed his head low, then said, "I cannot begin to apologize enough for that. Celestia was correct when she said that you had every right to be here, and after your performance today, I can honestly say that if the Princess herself were to say that you were a chef, I could not help but to agree. I intend to compete next year, and try for a seventh consecutive win. If my winning streak is stopped by anyone other than you, I would be sincerely disappointed. With a little polish, I am certain that one day, you would become a better chef than I would ever hope to be." With that, the pony extended a hoof, then added, "Although I hope that will take a few more years to occur."

Rochelle took it and shook it. "Thanks," the changeling said, smiling. "I know how difficult it is for you to say that, and your approval means more to me than I can say. I'll look forward to being here next year."

"I still can't believe I tied for first place," Rochelle admitted as she rode in a carriage back to her apartment. Celestia rode with them, as did Candy Floss and Silver Tongue.

Candy, grinning, said, "Well, you had a great teacher, so I knew you had it in you." Candy Floss, naturally, had taught Rochelle everything she knew about cooking. Who had taught Candy? Sweet Dream, her aunt. Rochelle had been shocked to hear, just a moment ago, that Sweet Dream, before she had married Silver Tongue, had been a gourmet chef herself, and had won the Ultimate Chef Competition five years running. Rochelle was definitely going to have a talk with Candy Floss later about her family, among other things. You simply cannot know somepony for a year and know so little about them...

Celestia chuckled, then said, "Well, I thought you had potential, Rochelle. I'm glad you had an opportunity to let it shine. I'm sorry I wasn't there to see your victory, but I fear I've had a busy morning."

Saffron Spice had, in exchange for a royal pardon for his actions, given the name of the pony that had supplied him with the experimental insect repellant that had nearly put Candy Floss in the hospital, in addition to the names of as many ponies as he knew that had taken part in similar operations to discredit changelings in Canterlot and beyond. A few of those arrests had required Celestia's personal appearance. Some of the names Saffron had provided had been surprising, and one had been heartbreaking: a trusted aide, who had been hoof-picked to lead the Bureau of Changeling Affairs once the Changeling Protection Act had passed, had turned out to be the ringleader of the group. Like Silver Tongue said yesterday, 'Just when you think you know a pony'...

Still, Celestia had indicated that she had a feeling that the best pony for the job would appear. It was just a matter of time...

Silver Tongue cleared his throat, and once certain that Rochelle had his attention, said, "Given how well you did today, Rochelle, I cannot help but ask you if you'd be interested in honing your cooking skills further. You've definitely proven that you have talent. I own several restaurants here in town, and would be more than happy to take you on. I have a staff filled with experienced chefs who would be more than happy to teach you everything you will need to know. You'll need all the help you can get: Now that Blackberry Trifle knows that you're his equal right now, he'll be certain to push himself to new heights to make certain that next year, there will be a clear winner between the two of you."

Rochelle gave the idea some thought. She was still slightly ambivalent on Celestia and Luna's invitation to pony-dom, but she did admit that she was leaning heavily towards becoming a full-fledged pony in one year's time. That would mean, of course, that she'd have to begin buying food like ponies do, which would mean that if she didn't have a paying job, she'd starve. She'd need to build up a nest egg so that she wouldn't have to worry about any problems while she adjusted to that transition. Moreover, given that she'd discovered that she wasn't just a good chef, or even a great chef, but a spectacular one, she found that she rather liked the idea of improving her skills further. She was certain that it would be a long, hard road...

...But the idea of being the first changeling, former or otherwise, to be known as the undisputed ultimate chef had a certain appeal.

"Alright," she said, grinning, "You've talked me into it. When can I start?"

Recipe Six: Just Desserts

"And that's how it happened."

Sombra chuckled as Rochelle finished the story. The two were still sitting at Sombra's table at Le Couteau Doré. It had taken the better part of an hour to relay to the former tyrant the full story of her becoming a chef at a five star restaurant, but he'd been more than willing to listen. He'd asked a few questions here and there, mainly for the purposes of clarification. He freely admitted that his knowledge of the particulars of changeling culture, history, and anatomy was somewhat lacking, but Rochelle didn't mind explaining. Not too long ago, she would have kept her mouth shut, but by now, with the CPA (Changeling Protection Act) going strong, everything that she'd relayed to Sombra was common knowledge amongst ponykind.

"An interesting story," Sombra said, nodding. "It matches with what I read in your file earlier today."

This was another one of those times when eyebrows would have been useful. "If you already knew the story," Rochelle asked, a little bit confused, "then why did you want me to tell it to you?"

Sombra chuckled, then said, "Well, I predate the invention of 'files', so, while I do find them quite useful at times, I prefer to get the story direct from the source when possible. Ink and paper can only tell me so much."

Rochelle, now a little suspicious, asked, "And why, pray tell, were you reading my file?"

With a smirk, Sombra said, "I think you can guess."

While she may have been a changeling, Rochelle was perfectly capable of putting two and two together. And no, the answer wasn't 'twenty-two'. "Celestia asked you to check in on me," Rochelle guessed, "because she'd heard that my job was at risk because of Toque Blanche's shenanigans."

"Precisely," Sombra said, smiling. He did have a nice smile, Rochelle had to admit. "Celestia suspected that something was going on, but she was uncertain if it was because someone was against a changeling working in a gourmet restraunt, or if there might be another motive. She was certain that it wasn't because of something you were doing wrong. Either way, as head of the Bureau of Changeling Affairs, it fell on my lap. I could have passed it off to somepony else at the office, but since you're a bit of a celebrity, I felt that this required a personal touch." After a moment, the former tyrant admitted, "Besides, I've always had a fondness for those who began with nothing and made their way into a high position through their own hard work and dedication..."

Was it Rochelle's imagination, or was Sombra blushing slightly when he'd admitted that?

"Well," Rochelle admitted, her own cheeks coloring a bright blue as she blushed, "I'm glad you came by. If you hadn't, I might have ended up getting thrown out of here, through no fault of my own." She'd heard rumors that Sombra had been put in charge of some sort of government agency after turning himself over to the princesses, but the BCA? That came as a bit of a surprise...

Sombra, his expression still cheerful, asked, "So, how are Nuisance and Candy Floss?"

Rochelle, grinning, decided to poke a little bit at the former tyrant, even if it was not a wise thing to do in most situations. "No files on them?"

With a shrug, Sombra said, "There might be, but I didn't feel it necessary to pursue them. They weren't exactly relevant to this case."

Nodding, the changeling said, "Well, Nuisance is coming along nicely. She's still a little troublemaker, but she's calming down a bit. The child psychologists had a field day when her story came to light, but they couldn't find a thing wrong with her. Changeling 'parent' or not, she's no different from any griffin chick her age."

Nodding, Sombra said, "That's good to hear. And Candy?"

Chuckling, Rochelle said, "Well, she and Stag Beetle hit it off, even if their first date had a few problems. Long story, and not exactly 'relevant to this case'. Long story short, they're both engaged, and Stag's planning on undergoing 'ponyfication' the same time I am. They plan on getting married the next day."

"That's good," Sombra said, chuckling. "You'll be happy to hear that Mustard Seed and his wife are doing well. She was able to get slipped into the last mass 'ponyfication', as you called it, three weeks ago. She's adjusting well, and they plan on starting a family in the near future."

Smiling, Rochelle giggled, then said, "Those two had a rough time of it, from what they told me. After all the problems they went through, I'm glad that they both got a happy ending." Rochelle had been given a chance at sliding into that sudden vacancy, but she and Cicada, Mustard's wife, had talked it over, and Rochelle had decided that it would be best if Cicada went first. After all, Rochelle didn't have any marriage prospects yet, and she still had a ways to go before she was ready for the big change. Cicada, on the other hoof, was more than ready for her own little bundle of joy.

With a nod, the unicorn said, "Indeed. Saffron Spice is doing well, although he's less than pleased about having lost his position as a gourmet chef. Even with a royal pardon, few ponies want to be served by somepony who has admitted to poisoning someone's food. Still, he was able to get a job at a local cooking school, and is busy teaching the next generation of chefs."

"I'd heard about that," Rochelle said with a shrug. While she'd agreed that, if Candy wasn't going to hold a grudge, then Rochelle would let the matter drop, that didn't mean that she was all that pleased with Saffron. Grief or not, that didn't fully excuse his actions. Still, if everypony else was willing to forgive him, she supposed she'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, if he ended up doing something similar in the future, Rochelle knew exactly where Saffron Spice lived...

Sombra, as if he could read her mind, raised an eyebrow and asked, "You don't approve?"

With a shrug, Rochelle admitted, "Well, all of the good ponies have decided to give him another chance, so I can't argue with that. In fact, even the good changelings decided to do so. But," and here, Rochelle frowned, uncomfortable with admitting this out loud, "I guess I'm not a 'good' changeling: If the decision was up to me, I'd have thrown him in the dungeon, and thrown away the key. And... well, if Celestia and Luna hadn't been there, I might have been tempted to give him a much more literal mouth full of fire." It's a terrible thing to admit that you seriously considered hospitalizing somepony, but...

Sombra, sighing, said, "I can sympathize. But, the important thing is, you chose not to." With a shrug, the tyrant admitted, "Good and bad are, in some cases, extremely relative terms. While it could be argued that changelings were the bad guys in the invasion, it doesn't examine the issue from both sides: After all, it was a case of a species desperately trying to obtain enough food to keep all members of their race fed, something that changelings are having a hard time doing these days."

Rochelle sighed, but otherwise kept quiet. This was a conversation she'd had before with others. Thankfully, Sombra was taking the side Rochelle normally would have, that the invasion was necessary for the survival of changelingkind. Still, there was the opposing viewpoint...

Changelings were now doing extremely well in Equestria, so well that it was rumored that many changelings who had actually been launched away with the queen were immigrating here in search of a better life. It was unknown whether Queen Chrysalis approved or not, but she wasn't doing anything to stop it. So, couldn't changelings have started doing this a long time ago?

Surprisingly, Sombra then interrupted her train of thought, stating, "But while good and bad are mostly relative, the important thing is that, when we can clearly see what is right and what is wrong, we choose what is clearly the right thing to do. You might not think yourself a 'good' changeling, Rochelle, but you're definitely not a bad one."

Blushing brightly at the compliment, Rochelle nodded, and said, "Thank you, Sombra." A thought came to Rochelle, and after a moment, she asked, "I don't want to pry, but I can't help but wonder... What happened to you? I mean, I heard that you'd reformed, but nopony has come out with the reason why, or how." After all, that little speech was the last thing most ponies, or bugs, would expect to hear from King Sombra, the pony they held up as the definitive example to prove that not all ponies are good...

The reformed tyrant, looking very uncomfortable, said, "Well, it's a bit of an involved story, and... very personal. I'd rather not take up too much of your time today. I... might be willing to tell you another time."

That was about what Rochelle had expected. There had been rumors, and some of them whispered that Sombra had gone to Tartarus, literally, and come back, desperate to redeem himself, having found out that not only was he mortal, but that something truly unpleasant, and inescapable, awaited him if he continued his evil ways. While that sounded like an exaggeration to Rochelle, the fact that Cerberus itself was spotted not that long ago in Ponyville certainly meant that something like Tartarus was real, even if it might be nothing like what the legends described. Still, coming back to life after being blasted to fragments by the power of love and hope had definitely done something to Sombra...

Nodding, Rochelle said, "Well, I'll take a rain check on that, then." Rising up from the table, Rochelle said, "Well, it has been a pleasure meeting you today, Sombra. I want to thank you again for helping me." Extending a hoof, the changeling said, "If you're ever looking for a good meal, feel free to come back, any time."

Sombra, surprisingly, took her hoof, and kissed it. Possibly due to his upbringing in a different time period, and indeed a different culture, he didn't seem to have any problem doing this, but the contact caused Rochelle to blush furiously. As a changeling who, until now, hadn't really even considered a romantic relationship with a pony, the surprisingly tender gesture caught her completely off guard...

"You are quite welcome," Sombra said, smiling, "And I will definitely take you up on that, sometime soon."