Broken Strings and BPM'S: The Lost Chapters

Please note that this was written as pure humor. This has nothing to do with Broken Strings. This is simply a pointless clop. Enjoy.

Battle of the Badflanks

It was late at night, and I couldn't sleep. After all, how could he, when I had just gulped down a bottle of "Twitchy-tail," Pinkie Pie's own creation. It was an energy drink with a rather sweet flavor. The sales slogan couldn't have been better. "Drink Twitchy-tail, and you'll think you have Pinkie Sense!" Granted, having some experience giving Pinkie Pie a different kind of twitchy tail, myself, I didn't really imagine it would be that bad. Oh why didn't Pinkie put a warning label on it? "Warning: Keep out of reach of foals, pregnant mares, and Pegasi."

I lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, trying to think of a way to burn off all this excess energy. "Cloudbucking? No, Rainbow would get pissed at me for cutting into her work. Maybe I can write some musi- No. Er... well, I guess I could just go flying. That should help, some." I climbed out of the bed, and looked back at the two twins who had been kind enough to allow me to keep them company that evening. I trotted out the door, closing it softly behind me. Well, on the bright side, I didn't have to wake up early to sneak out. Nothing was more awkward than screwing twins, then watching them fight over which of them you want to be with, when in all reality, the answer is neither. Truth is I'm a stud. If there's a mare in Ponyville that hasn't fallen for my irresistible rockstar charm, they haven't met me, yet. If I remember properly, that Scratch filly was the first. The first day we knew each other, bam. In the sack. She went down like a glass of milk after I turned the charm on.

I'm getting waaay off topic. Okay, so I took off into the night, leaving a note for the twins saying how killer their hoofjo- I mean "hooficures" were. See? I'm a nice guy. Anyway. I flew through the night, unsure of how long it would take to burn off all this excess energy. Almost as if by divine providence, I spotted another pegasus flying along. As I got closer, it got a little bit easier to figure out who it was. Sure enough, it just had to be her.

"'Sup, Kicker?" Yep. Cloud Kicker. Probably the only pony in the world with as much irresistible charm as yours truly. And also, one of the few mares in Ponyville who had even a slim chance of resisting my charm. Not like I'd let that happen. I had a reputation to uphold, after all.

"Well, if it isn't the rockstar. So, who'd you hook up with, tonight?" It almost seemed like she was genuinely interested. I knew that angle all too well.

I shrugged casually. "The twins." She gave me a short nod of approval. "Nice. I heard their hoofjo- I mean hooficures are to die for."

I chuckled. "Oh yeah. I bet yours are better, though."

"Hmmm. Maybe. I can't imagine how you'd know, though."

Then, I figured out how to burn off all this energy. "I don't. Care to correct that horrible injustice?"

"Are you trying to seduce me, Bass?"

"Maybe. Is it working?"

I knew she wanted me. I could tell by the way she laughed and said "Not really." Yep. She totally wanted me. "I guess my irresistible charm makes me immune to yours."

"Damn. That means I actually have to try."

"And that wasn't trying? Why are you even out this late, anyways? Shouldn't you be sleeping under a blanket of mares, right now?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She laughed. By this time, we had landed in a field outside Ponyville. "Well, I asked you first."

"Twitchy-tail."

"I thought you said you banged the twins."

"I did. It was Pinkie's damn energy drink. Now it's your turn."

"Well, let's just say a blanket of mares is nice, but they can't do what a stallion can." Now she was putting me on the defensive. I knew that the sexual tension between us was so thick that I would have to wash it out of my feathers later.

It was on. I was about to turn the rockstar charm up to max. "Oh? And what would that be?"

She came close, and whispered in my ear. "Make me come right now, right here, in  this field." She was pulling a counter-move on me.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Cloud Kicker?"

"Yep." She tackled me, giggling, and pinned me to the ground. "Is it working?" That was a question my body decided to answer for me. Oh yeah. Smooth operator.

Luckily, I got an answer out before she noticed my body's answer. "Maybe. I guess my rockstar swagger makes me immune to your irresistible charm."

Then I felt something tapping my shaft, which had somehow ejected itself from the sheath after I had been pinned. "Oh, really? Then what's this? This doesn't seem like immunity to me."

I grinned. "Please, Kicker. I can smell you from here. It's a very distinctive smell, ya know." I wasn't lying. Although neither of us would admit how aroused we were, I could feel a warm dripping on one of my legs.

She giggled, and bit my ear, softly. After, she whispered. "Then I guess we'll have to settle this another way."