Equestria Days: The Final Ballad of Flashfire

by TheSurvivor01

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Romance, Comedy
Length: 3304

Flashfire just wants to impress his dream girl, but somehow ends up in bed with everybody beside her! Dang, I don't know.

Flashfire watches Fluttershy as they ride to school together on the train each day, but she never seems to notice him in return. After Twilight offers to help Flashfire win her over, a wild adventure of bed-parties and High School drama begins.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-08 04:14:21 UTC

Every in the Hot Tub Wants to Do It

The sun trinkled in past the curled tree limbs, lighting up the world below it. Early morning was rising over Equestria, and each citizen of the world wished they could get another goddamn hour of sleep. One pony wished this in particular: but his day had begun long ago. Anyways, let us get back to that really cool sunlight trinkling through the curled tree limbs, lighting up the world below it. It was a beautiful sight indeed.

The sun bounced back off the fresh layer or snow on the ground which had only arrived the day before. The two versions of nature's beauty, fire and ice, was a beautiful combination. The warmth of the sun turning you on, with the chill of the cold instantly turning you back off. The rapid change was very confusing to the average pony male, and even more so to our hero. He was a very sexually confused stallion.

The ladies of this story, however, were not having the same issues. The warm little spring behind Fluttershy's house provided a rejuvenating experience to each of the members inside. Fluttershy was there of course, making sure none of her precious garden ornaments were messed with. Lyra and Bon Bon were also in attendance, as usual, for they were the egotistical must-haves at all great Equestrian get-togethers. No, not "Play Dates". Get-Togethers. Carrot Top was there too, just kinda being there. Next up was Lightning, the only male in the party. He wasn't exactly manly or tough, mostly because he was...well, no one quite knew which way he flew. They just referred to him as Metrosexual, and he seemed quite fine with it. Lightning preferred to be around ladies anyways, so who cares what the men think of him? Finally, Twilight was the last to show up.

Twilight slipped into the warm spring water and felt the rush of heat surge up through her body, fighting off the nipping cold from the rest of the world. She let her problems and the snow slip out of her mind, easing into the huge warm puddle and relaxing for the first time in...well, maybe ever. Her wet fur looked damn hot, and if she were to be drawn by a creepy artist who knew little of how fur worked, they would most definitely make her look shiny. After all, who can resist a miniature horse covered in water?

"Damn Fluttershy, you sure put together quite the party. We're all really lucky your Dad...oops, forgot he isn't canon...that you decided to let us use your Hot Spring. It's pretty fucking cold out there, am I right?" With a laugh track echoing through the background, everyone nodded in agreement with Twilight.

All the soaking wet mares looked over at Fluttershy, as she said words in response to Twilight's own, "Oh, that's no problem at all. It's really no trouble. And Angel was quite fine with it for once, he gave me the day off to have this party," She smiled softly and returned to her annoying quiet state as everyone else sat around awkwardly, thinking about each other's butts.

Carrot Top was the next to speak up, "Hey, you know, my dad owns a spa just off the coast of Equestria! He said it was fine if we use it sometime, because it's his company and all so he can let us in!" Carrot Top's annoying suggestion obviously bothered everyone else, possibly because they didn't like Carrot trying to take away from Fluttershy's party.

This was Flutter's party, and trying to move it over to her own was just plain rude. So they shot her punk ass and chased her out, like usual.

Angel hopped out of the small woodland cottage that was Fluttershy's home and made his way to the edge of the spring, giving each lady a nod of respect, "Aye, Ladies. How's it shaking? Just so you know, if you keep on looking this fine, you can come by whenever you want. I can give you all a Free Pass to Angel's Fun Tub! All you gotta do is--".

Everyone knew where this sentence was going, because they were use to the vulgar rabbits wacky antics. If this was a sitcom, he would probably be the womanizing best friend. But that didn't flow well with them. Let's just say, Bunny went back into that cottage with a little less "balls".

Bon Bon was shocked by such a sudden act of...something, by the rest of the group. She was disgusted and a bit frightened, and so was Twilight by the looks of it.

Twilight spoke up, her eyes narrowed. "Wow, I didn't realize the kind of lifestyle you lived Fluttershy. You spend all day tending to your Corporate Sabotage industry, then return home to this pimping bunny. You sure live a life more ghetto than anything I could imagine. That's the difference between me and you."

Just then, Rainbow Dash popped up from under the water's surface. She looked around for a moment, wiped her mouth off, then went back under the water. To do who-knows-what.

Fluttershy peeped out, feeling a tightening sensation on her ripe rump. Looking down through the wavy water, she could make out the shape of Rainbow below the water. The cyan pony was poking her rum over and over, seeming to be tapping out a morse code message to her friend. It seemed...she was saying 'Damn Flutter, you got some mighty nice junk here'. Fluttershy blushed from embarrassment and looked away, ashamed of her fantastic fanny.

Fluttershy scooted away, but Rainbow just followed along, focused in on the booty. Like Jaws, her rainbow mane parted through the water, after her target.

Twilight muttered under her breath, "You know, it's not the size that matters. It's the satisfaction."

Everyone was shocked by this, and ignored it as just a bad joke. Everyone knew that wasn't true. Ha, right? Right? Yeah, I don't even know. Anyways, everyone was shocked and unbelieving, when Lightning spoke up. Being the virgin he was, he was very confused about the whole conversation going on around him.

"Satisfaction? What do you mean?" He looked around for an answer, but everyone sat about quietly. No, I won't say "everypony", okay?

Everyone continued to sit there, until he sank down under the water and the story transitioned over to another scene.

Flashfire sat about in his home, bored out of his mind. Not even his flaming mane could keep his day going hot. He sat down beside his table, not even in his chair because he fell out somehow. Sitting there on the ground, he rested his head on one hoof and looked out the oversized window, thinking about destiny and shit.

This deep meditation was interruped by Spike's sudden appearance before him. The small purple dragon--scratch that. If Spike is going to be in this story, he needs to be cool. No, not cool, badass. Lets make him three times as tall and with a six-pack! He can have a huge battle-gash down his chest...no, no, on his chest AND his eye! And he has an eyepatch as well because he lost an eye in the war. He also lost a hand, so now he has a weird synthetic crystal hand that can shoot lightning! Yeah, that's better.

General Ludd Von Spike paced back and forth across the length of the window, seeming to also be in deep thought. His flame-haired friend was a bit bothered by The General getting in the way, and after hashing it out, they decided to sit together on the sofa instead.

After a moment of some pretty intense sitting action, Flashfire spoke up, "Relax, General. The war is over. The troops have come home, and the land is safe. Because of me, but still."

"Relax!?" Spike burst out, sitting upright in his seat. His face was covered with anger and pain, as he shouted out his exclamation, " How am I supposed to relax?"

"Well, I don't know how you do it...but it's better than being all tense like you." Flash finished the sentence with a mutter, shaking his head in annoyance at his friend's "loud voice". Very loud. He yelled almost everything.

After a few moments of more intense sitting action, Spike said ( in a quieter voice ), "Out there right now, Fluttershy and the others are having a Hot Spring party. And we aren't there! How can you not want to be there? If you were a true stallion, you would want more than anything to see them!"

Fluttershy simply shook his head. He was a gentle and caring soul, not at all obsessed with sex and booty. He wanted a mare for her personality, the sexiest thing of all. But Spike was different.

"It's not like you can do anything anyways, it's not like this is a Fanfic." Flash muttered. His friend visibly sank, realizing the truth behind those words.

"But we need to at least try to do something!" He retaliated, though weakly.

Suddenly, the sexiest fucking voice ever was heard through their oversized window. The voice of none other than Fluttershy. That voice was like a pile of angels having an orgy...in a cup of pudding...at a school reunion

"Oh, Flashfire~ We want you down here~ This is a mixed bath, after all, with all our sweat mixed together in the water~"

The two stallions both rushed the oversized window, with the power and speed of a linebacker, but found something else when they looked past the glass. It was Twilight using magic to mimic Fluttershy's voice. Goddamnit Twilight, again? All the girls gathered around the purple unicorn laughed and mocked them.

Flashfire is a Stalker

A pedal fell through the sky, carried along by the cool spring breeze. No, this was no normal pedal. This was a special pedal. This pedal symbolized many things about my life: such as how delicate one's life can be and how easily it can be thrown off course. So I guess this is a story about a flower pedal. A simple story, about a simple stallion and a simple mare, and the simple mistakes that stallion made. And how he's kind of a douchebag.

The Royal Equestrian Education Facility was the finest school in all the lands of Equestria. It stood tall and proud as a unique concrete structure among many wooden homes. Hundreds of students poured in the large, open front doors this morning. Just like every morning, actually. Precisely 500 ponies attended this school, each unique in some specific way or another. Except for our hero, Flashfire, he was pretty generic. The students were all required to wear a School Uniform which boasted the school's colors: a Black and Red button-up uniform, with the insignia printed just above the breast area and to the right.

Only the most special of ponies were allowed to attend this school: Be it Unicorn, Pegasus, or those weird other ponies. They all had a unique skill: Some could play the recorder with their nose, some could sing in a low baritone voice, some had skills actually helpful in life. Flashfire had none of the above.

Flash was a simple yet angry pony. After the war had ended over a hundred years ago ( We never said he was part of the war ) he had grown with anger deep within his soul. Anger he could only release through being somewhat of an ass to those around him. He liked yelling, shouting, shoving, and shrieking. He was a bit rough on the outside, but had a soft golden heart on the inside. Because Pegasi's hearts a literally golden colored, not because he's cool.

Today was the 10th annual Education Facility Entrance Ceremony, or the EFEC for short. This is why so many ponies were coming in early for school. The auditorium only had exactly as many seats as there was students, so any extras had to stand and anyone there early got first pickings. It was like Vietnam in there. Wait, no, ponies don't have Vietnam.

Flash was one of the first to get in because he was sure he had made one of the good classes this year. He wouldn't be stuck with the annoying Hipsters, the scary quiet kids, the loud athletic ones, or the ones who just kinda look at you now and then but don't really do anything.

The rest of the school began filling in around him one by one, until not only the seats were packed but the entire room was filled to it's brim. Ponies were standing in the doorways, poking their heads through windows, and snapping necks to get seats. For some reason this was a pretty freaking big deal. Flash just sank down in his seat and stayed quiet, trying to look as normal as possible so he wouldn't be one of the unlucky few to have his neck snapped. He just wanted to see his class, not relive his childhood in the ghetto.

Finally the classes came up. Provided on the sparkly ( and incredibly multi-colored ) magic beam of a Unicorn, all seven classes and their newest students were shown before all in attendance. Flash was able to find his name in just a few seconds because it was really cool and unique.

He was in class 3, the same one was last year. The mare class. Literally everypony listed for that class was a mare beside him. This was a freaking outrage, did the school suspect him to secretly be a mare or something!? He would not be able to put up with this any longer, and right before his mane ( which is literally made of blazing flames ) turned into an eruption of fury, they dismissed everyone to class. He would get angry after school and text his friend about it, he had to work now.

Yes, our hero, Flash, has flame hair. He was just born like that and was never able to learn why from his parents, because they were tragically murdered when he was a young foal. He then grew up on the streets, learning the ways of crime and violence in order to survive. However, the young pony decided to instead use these skills to better the community instead of harm it. Thus, he renamed himself Flashfire. His original name was Pimp Popper.

As Flash walked down the crammed hallway...sorry, I mean sea of sweaty pony flesh. This was in no way a hallway, if it were a hallway it would've been made so it was large enough to walk through. Anyways, Flash saw a better flash of yellow pass by him. He knew instantly it must be Fluttershy, the one true love of his life. He had loved her for weeks now but was too insecure about it to tell her...what if she rejected him? Laughed at him? No, she was too nice to do any of that. That was part of why he liked her so much. Not only did she had a damn ripe rump, but she was quite ripe in personality as well.

He thought about her constantly and how he would like nothing more than to spend every single day with her, tell her exactly how he felt and woo her over. She was his dream girl. She was perfect. He just needed to figure out how to tell her.

But actually, no, that wasn't her. It was a different yellow pony. But then he DID see Fluttershy pass by, and his shy heart fluttered instantly. Dang, he'll have to remember to use that line later on. He watched her with fascination, taking in each beautiful detail of her and looking like a total wide-eyed creeper while doing so.

Flash thought to himself quietly because he had no friends to talk to, "I noticed that she takes the same train as me to school. Since the beginning of this semester. I'll have to talk to her there."

The next day, Flash stood aboard the currently boarding bus. He stood just past the doorway people took to enter, trying to look like a total badass by leaning against the wall all cool-like. He kinda just looked depressed. He squinted his eyes and stared off into the distance so that he would seem deep, but that sexy little game was interrupted just as a worker pony was about to close the door and start the ride up again.

"Wait!" He heard a meek voice yelp out, just barely audible enough to hear.

He turned down the Heavy Metal music he was listening to on his Walkerboy ( this particular song was about killing people, having sex, and smoking ) so that he could listen in on cliche situation unfolding before him. It was Fluttershy having the issue.

As she run full speed for the train, determination and desperation in her eyes to make it in time, Flash could not help but wander his eyes down to her bouncing bottom. Each powerful leap forward she took, her bodacious butt bounced and jiggled from the pushoff. It was like his eyes were having sex.

She made the train just in time, rushing past Flash and disappearing into the crowd standing around behind him. The worker pony simply shrugged and preceded to close the door, whistling as he carried on his duties of door-closing stuff. Flash looked to see if he could spot Fluttershy, and surely her brightly colored fur stood out in the sea of kinda emo-ponies. She was panting and trying to catch her breath, nearly passing out from the experience. Flash liked this in a mare.

Flash started talking to himself, as it seems to be his hobby now, once the train was once more in motion and the ponies talked among themselves. "The only thing I know about her is she's in the class next door. She seems to like animals, and always watches them out the window on the train ride home." Flash was watching and examining her fine body as he talked, his eyes wide with creeper-energy. Everyone around knew he was staring her down, but just stood there awkwardly in silence.

"Although it was only a small discovery on my part that we ride the train together everyday, it was from that day that I began to take an interest in her." Flash was now standing directly in front of Fluttershy, talking to himself as though he was another person. He stared her dead into her eyes as she finally took notice of him, but just sat there quietly, unsure how to react. Flash continued to talk about her as everyone backed away to another part of the train. "But it's not like I investigate or try to talk to her. It's just that being able to gaze at her from afar...just a little bit...brightens my school days."

Flash slipped a big-ass camera out of his backpack and snapped a picture of his lady-love, and backed off. He could now see her as much as he wanted anytime he wanted, so there was no need to stare at her anymore right now. Fluttershy was visibly disturbed, unsure why this strange flame-haired stallion stared her down like that. But she was pretty turned on by it. She liked stallions with flame hair, especially ones who carried around big-ass cameras. Flash slipped back into the soothing tunes of his Heavy Metal music now, content.

"Do you know? About the picture charm? If you keep a picture of your secret crush for three weeks and nobody knows, your love will come true!" Shrieked the weird hag pony beside Flash who appeared out of nowhere. Luckily he was able to slip off at the next stop.