Pony vs. Food

by TheOneAJ

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Other
Length: 8547

Adam Rich visits Ponyville, where he'll face off against crazed fan girls, a zap apple obsessed pegasus, and a 7 pound cupcake that only one other pony has ever finished. Will he succeed, or will he go down in a sugary high?

Adam Rice is a world renowned food critic who has made a living by traveling all over Equestria, seeking out the finest places to eat, while attempting to compete in some of the worlds greatest eating challenges as he documents his entire journey on flim for the world to see.
He's battled the Angry Joenut in Canterlot, conquered the Pancake Tower in Baltimare, and now his journey has brought him to Ponyville, home of obsessive fan girl Bon-Bon, a zap apple muffin obsessed Derpy, and The Pinkie Promise Challenge. A seven pound cupcake that only one pony has ever been able to finish in one sitting.

A special thanks to Bad_Seed_72 and a Dark Reminder, two wonderful friends who went out of the way to make this story presentable, go check out their own works when you're done here.
Will he pull it off, or will he regret ever stepping hoof in Ponyville?

cover art done by ponymiku] I do not own Man vs. Food, or my little Pony.

Published 2014-03-08 23:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-13 21:44:50 UTC

Burger Board

A light-brown Earthy pony with a cutie mark of a rice bowl with a pair of chopsticks crossed in the shape of an X straightens out his short.black mane and dusts his red shirt off in front of Sugarcube Corner. He puts on his show face before addressing the camera.

“Today, I’m in Ponyville, where I’m about to face the Pinkie Promise challenge.”

The screen switches to a gigantic pink cupcake while Adam’s voice can be heard in the background. A seven-pound cupcake topped with over 200 sprinkles, and I have to finish it in one sitting. If I succeed, I will make history as the second pony to have completed this challenge. If I lose, I have to pay for the meal with the worst sugar highs I’ve ever encountered.

***************

I’m Adam Rice. The screen plays clips from his show. A food fanatic who’s held nearly every job in the restaurant business. Now, I’m on a mouthwatering journey all over Equestria to find the world’s greatest pig-out spots, and take on the greatest food challenges known to Equestrian kind. I’m no competitive eater, just a regular pony with a serious appetite.

The Pony vs. Food logo flashes on the screen. This, is Pony vs. Food. Wrestling bells ring.

*****

The camera takes a moment to zoom through Ponyville and all its landmarks, from town hall, to the library, to Sweet Apple Acres. Ponyville, just a day’s train ride from Canterlot and a hop, skip and a jump from the mysterious Everfree Forest. However, this is no small town. This is the home and regular travel destination of nobles and royalty, as well as the home of the Pinkie Promise challenge. But before I can take on my seven-pound foe, I’m making a stop at the original Burger Board.

Adam appears on the screen next to the Burger Board. “Opened just a few years ago, the Burger Board singled-hoofedly invented the hayburger we all know and love today. It’s even documented as the home of the hayburger in the Canterlot Royal Archives.”

The camera zooms around the town for a little bit before it focuses back on Adam.

“I’m here to talk to the ponies on the street about what they think of this famous restaurant. Um, miss...” He walks over to Pinkie Pie. “Do you eat here often?”

Pinkie Pie gasps, jumps, and hovers in the air for a few seconds, then races off.

“Um...” Adam looks at the camera, bewildered. “Okay, oh, how about you fine ladies?” Adam trots over to Lyra and Bon-Bon. “What do you think of the Burger Board?”

“Oh, yeah,” Lyra says, “it’s got great food. I especially love the hayfries. My coltfriend and I meet up here regularly for an afternoon date, and he never makes me pay.” She claps her hooves together as her face turns red.

“Isn’t that romantic, folks? What about you, miss?” He addresses a jaw dropped Bon-Bon.

“…Adam Rice.” Bon-Bon’s eyes widen.

“Yeah, hi.” Adam gives a half-smile. “Anything you have to say about the Burger Board?”

“Adam Rice is talking to me!” After a moment, Bon-Bon’s eyes widen as she jumps up and down. “GAHHH! Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! I am such a huge fan of your show! Oh my gosh, this is like, so unbelievable. Hahaha!”

Bon-Bon leans into Adam’s face. “Do you still have the scar on your right knee you got when you scraped the table at Doughnuts Joe’s?”

“Um..." Adam tries to back away. "I think.”

Bon-Bon catches him, leans into Adam’s right leg, and squeals. "You do! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh—”

“Take it easy, girl,” Lyra says as she puts herself between Adam and Bon-Bon.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Bon-Bon continues.

"Bon-Bon!” Lyra turns to Adam with a sympathetic frown. "I’m sorry about this, sir, usually she calls me the obsessive one.”

“I’m not obsessed Lyra, I’m... oh, who the buck am I kidding? Adam, I love you!” Bon-Bon throws herself at Adam

“Boy, what a town.” Adam winces as his camera-mare and Lyra try to pull Bon-Bon off of him.

*****************************

While the outside of the Burger Board looks great, the inside is where all the action is.

"Just from the moment you walk in," Adam says as he walks into the restaurant, passing by several ponies carry their orders by, "you can smell the aroma of the hay being fried, while you just hear the sizzle of melodies that brings all the magic together. I've got to tell ya, I've never been so excited to try a burger before. But enough about my needs. Let's hear more about what other ponies have to say about the food."

*******************************

“So what do you have to say about the food here?”

“Well,” Berry Punch says, “the juice is inside the patty is really sweet, the burger is crunchy and flavorful, and it’s just the second-best party you'll experience in your mouth.”

“I bet.” Adam leans into her burger to take a whiff. “Oh I got to tell ya,” Adam says as he leans over the burger, “I may have had a hayburger before, but that just smells heavenly.”

*******************************

“You won’t find any better place for a burger than here!” Rose says.

*******************************

“My advice,” Carrot Top says, “add carrot ring slices instead of pickles.”

********************************

“BUGER BOARD IS THE BEST!” Bulk Biceps flexes his muscles to the camera. “YEAH!”

********************************

“So,” Bon-Bon say as she leans into Adam’s face, “you ever consider settling down?”

Lyra races over to the table. “Bon-Bon!”

******************************

"Yeah," Spike says while chewing, "it's really good." He stuffs in another mouthful as he pours ketchup into his mouth.

"I just wish they would put gems on the menu though."

**************************

“What about you, young lady, anything you would like to add?”

“Um, well, I…” Fluttershy turns her head from the camera. "I really like the food.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.”

“I really like the food.”

“Okay, everypony,” Adam wraps a hoof around Fluttershy, “she really likes the food.”

Fluttershy moans in discomfort.

*********** *****************

“I’m in the kitchen now with owner, founder, and inventor of the hayburger, Haystack. How’s it going, bro?”

“Oh it’s great,” a tangerine stallion with a hay barrel cutie mark replies, “just another day in paradise.”

“Okay, so how were you able to go from hayfries to a hayburger?”

“Well, one day, I was making some hayfries when I had to sign a few papers in the back. I placed the fries on the counter, but while I was gone, they fell onto the oven's frying pan. When I came back, the fries looked ruined from my point of view.”

“Then, as fate would have it, I had a rather annoying customer out front who was demanding that I hurry up with her sandwich. Having put up with her far more often than I care for, I decided just to serve the ruined fries to her as a way to get even. I placed them between two buns, added some lettuce and tomatoes with some ketchup, then I gave it to her.”

“I’ve got to tell you, Adam, I was scared to death afterwards that she would race back in here to beat the tar out of me later that day.”

“I’m guessing that didn’t happen?” Adam titled his head.

“No, it did not,” Haystack says, puffing up his chest, “instead, at around dinner time, she came back in with some of her friends saying that it was the best sandwich she had even had.”

“I made some more for them, and when she asked me what it was called, I said, a burger.”

“How did you come up with the idea of calling your invention a burger, by the way?”

“Well, that’s what the griffins call a similar invention of theirs, so that’s what I called it on the top of my head, and it’s been that way even since.”

“That’s cool, but what is different from a pony burger from a griffin burger?”

“Um…”

************************

“So I’m here behind the grill to learn what’s goes into making a hayburger. You ready for this?” Adam begins to rub his hooves together.

“I’m ready for this!” Haystack nods. “Alright, first, you want to start out as if you’re going to make regular hayfries.” Haystack grabs some pre-twirled and battered hayfries and throws them into the fryer.

“Oh, I’m telling you, man,” Adam sighs, “I’ve been excited many times before, but nothing beats the sound of hay cooking in grease. It’s just earth pony magic at its finest.” A symphony plays in the background as Adam waltzes with an imaginary partner.

After a few minutes in the fryer, the fries come out, ready for the next step.

Adam looks towards the fried hay. “So you don’t just throw them onto the grill like you accidentally did the first time?”

“Well, at first, that’s what we did, but now that’s just considered sloppy hay.” Haystack places the fries on another table. “If you want a burger, you got to compact the fries into a patty, like so.” Haystack demonstrates as Adam follows his lead.

“Then, depending on where you go, you’ll have different chefs using different spices and seasoning. But here at Burger Board, we have our secret seasoning.”

Haystack holds the secret seasoning powder as angels sing in the background while a halo appears over the jar.

Adam examines the jar from every angle. “So, what’s in it?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Haystack says while he sprinkles the powder over the patties.

“Come on, brother, chef-to-chef, please.” Adam takes a whiff of the air. “I can smell that it has a kind of onion-garlic power, with a tad of cinnamon, but I can’t figure out what else is in there.”

“I can tell you, but then I have to kill you.”

Adam looks at the camera with wide eyes. “Talk about taking a secret ingredient seriously.”

Next, the patties go onto the grill. Where they are pressed, cooked to a golden brown, seasoned with another sprinkling of secret spices, and then it’s time to put it all together.

“So, for all the talk of secret spice and these things being great, everything else you put on the burgers is just the basics? No secret sauce or extra ingredients?”

“That’s right, Adam.” Haystack proceed to finish the burger, listing off the toppings as he places them on top of the burger. “Just lettuce, onions, pickles, a tomato, ketchup and mustard, then bun, and you’re done. You don’t mess with perfection.”

“No, you do not.”

“Okay,” Adam says directly to the camera, “I’ve been tortured enough. Let’s go eat this thing.”

We head out into the eating area to dig in, and I waste no time taking my first savory bite. Adam does so, savoring every moment as his face gets covered in ketchup.

“It’s really juicy, and it’s got this very spicy kick, but it doesn’t burn your mouth. It’s enough to make your mouth water for some more.” Adam looks towards Haystack with a wide grin. “I presume that comes from having a lot of experience in knowing how to get the burger just right?”

“Pretty much.” Haystack nods while he places his burger down. “I’ve been in this business longer, so I know better how to make a burger just right.”

“Yeah,” Adam says as he looks towards the camera, “I’ve had professionals make hayburgers before, but with your secret spice, oh my Celestia, this just has to be the best burger ever.”

“Thanks a lot, bro,” Adam says as he hoofbumps Haystacks, “this was great.”

“No problem, but you sure you don’t want a second one?”

“Oh, I would,” Adam moans, “but I’ve got to face a seven-pound cupcake in two days, so I’ve got to pass.”

“Hey Haystack?” Rainbow Dash says as she flies in between them.

Haystack looks sheepishly towards her. “Rainbow, what can I do for you?”

Rainbow Dash looks towards Adam with wide eyes. “Did he tell you I helped invent the hayburger yet?”

****************************

Coming up, I head over to Sweet Apple Acres for their yearly Zap Apple Jam for a chance to try a rare treat you can only get a few times a year. After that, I take on the Pinkie Promise Challenge. The scene ends with Adam's face next to the seven-pound cupcake.

Author's Note

If anyone has the time to help me fix up all and any grammar mistakes, as well as tell me if they thought the pacing of this story was felt too rushed, please feel free to message me, or leave a comment below about what I can approve on.

Sweet Apple Acres

“Where to, sir?” A cab-stallion nods to Adam as he hops into his cab.

“Sweet Apple Acres.” Adam holds one hoof in the air and holds onto the cab with the other. “Away!” They depart as the background music of the show plays.

I’m in Ponyville, home of Princess and monster cupcakes. But first, I’m off the to the farm to try a rare treat that is only available for a few times a year. The camera freezes on a pile of zap apple’s.The zap apples.

The show takes a moment to montage Sweet Apple Acres and all the ponies buzzing around for food while Adam monologues.

Built from just a wood cabin around a hundred years ago, the Apple Family settled the land granted to them by Princess Celestia herself. In the process, they not only founded the town of Ponyville, but discovered the secrets of the zap apples. A rare apple that grows a few times a year under certain conditions. It is said that the zap apple is so delicious that with one bite, you’ll never want to eat anything else ever again.

The Camera follows Adam around the jamboree. “I’m here now at the annual Zap Apple Jamboree. Where for one weekend, ponies from all over Equestria come together to share, trade, and eat everything and anything zap apple related. Never having had zap apple before, I’m more than eager to hear what the ponies here have to say about these golden apples.”

******************

Mayor Mare beams as she chews on a piece of zap apple brownie.“I moved here because of the zap apples from northern Equestria, and I haven’t regretted it one moment since.”

*************

“Oh, yeah.” Soarin speaks with his mouth full of pie. His teammates try to act like they don’t know him. “We come out here every year between airshows to get some of the good stuff, *yum*.” He digs in deeper.

“Easy, Soarin,” Spitfire says, wiping her teammate's cheeks with a napkin, “or you won’t be getting back into the air anytime soon.”

Soarin rolls his eyes in bliss. “I don’t care.”

*************************

“Yeah,” a group of Cajun ponies cheer, “them zap apples are better than anything we’ve got back in the bayou, ain't that right, boys?”

“Yeah!” the group cheers.

"Oh," one of the Cajun ponies comforts an elderly pony, "don't feel bad, mama. Your foods great, but these are zap apples."

**********************

“Like, yeah,” Diamond Tiara shrugs while she fluffs her hair for the camera. Silver Spoon follows Diamond Tiara's lead. “My daddy has like, a huge investment in the zap apple business, he’s so smart.”

“Oh, like, totally.” Silver Spoon nods in agreement.

“It’s even worth all the trouble of getting your hooves dirty. Isn’t that right, Silver Spoon?”

“Like, totally.” Silver Spoon nods before waving to the camera.

**************

“So, you can only get zap apples here, nowhere else in Equestria?” Adam asks Big Mac as he places some pies down in front of the CMC.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac nods.

“Is there anything else you have to say about zap apples?”

“Eenope.” Big Mac turns his head as he walks off to hand out more pies.

Adam eyes the camera. "A pony of few words. My kind of stallion."

*************************

“So, what are you folks here for?” Adam holds the microphone up to a Derpy, who is circling overhead, drooling on the ponies below.

“Zap apple muffins!” Derpy cheers, oblivious to Adam as she drools on the ponies below. “Muffin, muffins, zap apple muffins!”

“Mom!” Dinky shouts up to her mother as she chases her around. “We're in public!”

“Come down, dear,” Dr. Hooves pleas as he jumps up in an attempt to catch Derpy.

He takes a break to address Adam. "Sorry about her, mate. I love her dearly, but she's hard enough to control with regular muffins." He makes another attempt to bring Derpy down. He misses her by mer centimeters. "Zap apples." he shakes his head. "We tried blindfolding her, but once she smelled the muffins, well..." He chuckles. "Oh, Derpy, I love you so."

Adam dodges another trail of drool. "Although I guess this just shows how good these zap apple treats are?"

"Oh yeah." Hooves jumps up into the air again. "Gotcha!" He cries in delight as his hooves lock onto his marefriend. They don't come down. "I think!" They begin to go higher.

“MUFFINS!”

“HELP!”

“MOMMY!”

"ADAM!"

***************************

“So, what’s this dish called?” Adam leans over Lyra and Noteworthy's cake slices.

“Cinnamon zap apple cake,” Noteworthy says with a nod. “Nothing is too good for my little harp here.”

“Oh, stop it.” Lyra giggles as they nuzzle each other.

“Hey, speaking of...” Adam looks back and forth with sweat rolling down his neck. “Where’s your…”

“Hello, Adam!” Bon-Bon sneaks up on him and bats her eyes.

“Oh, um...” Adam beings to scoot away. “Hello, Ms.-”

“Bon-Bon.” She grins as she places a piece of paper on the table, covering most of it with her hoof. “I don’t suppose you’d be a dear and autograph this for me, your biggest fan, would you?” She holds up a pen and flashes her eyes.

Adam raises an eyebrow before he forces Bon-Bon's hoof off the paper. “This looks a lot like half-signed marriage certificate.”

“Is it now?” Bon-Bon tries to sound innocent while she begins to sweat.

Lyra leans over the table with a smug look on her face. “You do realize I’m using this against you the next time you ridicule me for obsessing over My Little Human?”

Noteworthy eye's widen. “You watch My Little Human?”

Lyra looks up at him, wide-eyed. “Um..." she looks nervously between the camera and her coltfriend. "Maybe...”

************************

"If I'm not visiting my best friend Vinyl," Octavia says, patting Vinyl on the back, "the only reason I'll come to Ponyville is for their zap apples."

"What about that time you came down here just for that rock concert?" Vinyl teases.

"... I have no idea what you're talking about."

*************************

“Cheers!” Rainbow Dash and Berry Punch raise a mug of cider to Adam.

“Yeah...” Adam sighs after a big gulp of cider. “That pretty much sums this town up.”

**************************

"I’m with some of the farm owners to get the low-down on how these tasty apple treats are made. How are you folks doing?”

“Just fine, Adam,” Applejacks replies with a hoof bump. “How's yer stay in Ponyville?”

“Great, thanks for asking." Adam starts rubbing his hooves together. "But how about we get going? What are we making?”

“Well Ah ain't the one to ask.” Applejack motions over to Apple Bloom, who is jumping with joy for being on TV, and Granny Smith, who is fast asleep in her rocking chair. “These are the two yah wanna talk to 'bout making good zap apple treats.”

“Alright then.” Adam begins to drool.

“Come on, Granny,” Apple Bloom taps Granny Smith repeatedly. “We're gonna be on the silver screen!”

Granny Smith jolts awake. “Wha? Soups on! Oh, oh well, are we gonna go, um… pick some zap apples? Mo, we gotta sing to the water?”

“We’ve already harvested the zap apples, Granny.” Apple Bloom helps her out of the chair. “Now we're going to show this stallion how to make zap apple cobbler.”

“Darn tootin'!” Granny Smith swings a leg forward and scratches her hat. “Now, where'd Ah put my cooking hat?”

“Isn’t that it on your head?”

Granny Smith looks up towards her cooking hat. “No.”

***********

We head to the kitchen to make the most famous dish at the Jamboree, zap apple casserole. The camera zooms over a steaming dish of zap apple casserole.

“Now, is the room normally like this?” Adam waves his hoof as they walk into a polka-dotted room with all the chairs and tables turned upside-down.

“Course not, sonny.” Granny Smith pinches his cheeks as Apple Bloom hops up and down on the bellows for the stove. “Magic is just funny that way. I’ve been making zap apple jam and casserole longer than anypony, I should know.”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom says as she brings over a pie pan, “and now she’s teaching me all she knows.”

“That’s right!” Adam slaps a hoof to his head. “You actually were the pony who discovered the zap apples?”

“You’re darn right there.” Granny grins. “Why it’s quite a story. You see, my father…”

“Um, Granny,” Apple Bloom interrupts, “this is only a thirty-minute special. Ah think the nice stallion just wants us to get to the zap apple cobbler.”

Granny Smith grunts. “Ungrateful youth. It’s a good story.”

“No, no,” Adam insists, “you can tell us the story, I want to hear it. Don't worry, if it get's too long ,we'll edit it out of the final cut and put it in the special features later.”

“Well then!" Granny Smith sits down on an upside-down chair. "Don’t know what cutting has to do with movies, but if you do want to hear the story, all the better. Ah was just a filly…"

****************

“Okay,” Adam says, rubbing his hooves together, “so what’s first?”

“Well, sonny, first, you cut up some zap apples while humming a happy song as you hold your tongue out.” Granny demonstrates by spitting out the smile song.

Adam looks hesitantly towards Apple Bloom.

"Eh." Apple Bloom shrugs. "It's best to just go with it, pony magic and all."

“Alright.” Adam raises any eyebrow and sticks out his tongue while he tries to sing alone.

“Then, you evenly place the zap apples in the pan.” Granny demonstrates once the song is over. “Then you pour the zap apple jam over the apples, another crust, some more jam, and it’s ready to go.”

“Wait a minute.” Adam puts a hoof up. "You don’t put any sugar or caramel in the casserole like other apple dishes?”

“No need to, sonny.” Granny Smith places the casserole in the oven. “These apples are the right amount of sweet. Anything else will just spoil it.”

Adam looks towards the camera. “Well, who am I to argue with a century of wisdom?”

“What was that?” Granny Smith holds up her spoon to Adam.

“Nothing!”

****************

We wait an hour, then the casserole comes out smelling like heaven.

“Oh...” Adam closes his eyes just to breath deeper. After a moment of pure bliss, he looks apologetically towards the camera. “You folks out there, I feel so sorry for you. The rich smell of this thing, it’s just beyond explanation. Forget anything you have ever thought has smelled good and tasty before. This aroma is just a whole other experience."

"It has a sweet, crispy smell that you can actually taste. If I didn't see this thing just come out of the oven, I would just eat it all now. In fact," he says, reaching a hoof out towards the tray, "I don't think I could care about third degree... Ow!" He pulls his hoof back after Granny Smith whacks it away.

"Now, you hold up there while we let it cool." She then grumbles some more as Adam looks back to the camera.

"Yeah, it smells that good. The best way I can explain it is as if the sweetest apples you have smelled were amplified by a trillion." He closes his eyes and bows his head. "I am so sorry for you folks out there.”

We cut up the casserole, drooling even more so as we go along. Then, just as things couldn't get better, we find a little surprise at the bottom of the pan. A flavorful experience that is often too intense for some ponies to handle: a burnt end.

“Now, a lot of ponies think, 'Burnt piece, no good', but that’s not true, correct?”

“You’re darn tootin' it ain't!" Granny Smith says as she digs into her piece. “Some ponies don’t know what they're missing.”

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom jumps up and down for her piece “It’s like, really, really good!”

“Yeah,” Adam explains to the camera, “now, that doesn’t mean you go burn all your baked goods, but this is just the right kind of burnt.” He holds the light-black piece up to the camera. “As you can see, it still has lots of its color. All the burning has done is absorb more of the flavor, and locked it in.” He rolls his eyes as he sniffs the piece. “May I now?"

“But of course.”

Adam goes right into it. Adam chews for a few seconds. Then his faces contracts into an orgasm. He then turns his head from the camera and places a hoof in front of the screen.

“This is a private moment.”

Apple Bloom and Granny Smith laugh their heads off.

After a moment, Adam looks back to camera with a grin that shouldn’t even fit on his face. “Wow. It's, sweet, and spicy, yet, it's able to work, and— oh there is no other way to describe it a good. Now, you’ve all seen me eat lots of good food on this show before, so you all will know what I’m saying when I say that was one of the best thing’s I’ve ever eaten.”

After that flavorful experience, I head out to the benches with the Apple Family for a smorgasbord of pretty much every zap apple item available.

“Okay,” Adam says as he eyes all the food, “so we’ve got zap apple jam and toast, pie, cake, caramel apples, zap apple dumplings, zap apple cobbler, zap apple muffins…”

“Muffins!” Derpy flies in to swipe most of the muffins from the table.

“You come back here now and pay for those, Ditzy!” Applejack chases after her.

Adam looks right back at the camera, trying to act like nothing happened. “And, of course, zap apple cider.” Everypony at the table lifts a mug and drinks up.

“Oh my...” Adam places the mug down to cry “Just when I thought things couldn’t get better with these zap apples, you go and make cider out of it.”

“You going to be alright there, mister?” Apple Bloom raises an eyebrow as she takes another sip of her zap apple juice.

“Oh I will, I will," Adam moans, "but isn't' there a way I can just marry these apples?"

"NO!" Bon-Bon's voice echoes in the background.

**************************************

Coming up, the camera turns to Adam’s sitting next to the gigantic cupcake that is larger than his head, I take on the Pinkie Promise Challenge.

Sugarcube Corner

The scene starts off with a still shot of the seven-pound Pinkie Promise Cupcake.

I’m in Ponyville, where I’m about to take on a sugary foe of monstrous proportions. An Ursa Major growls in the background.

************************

Adam stands in the middle of Ponyville park wearing a cupcake costume.

To get ready for this challenge, I must find my inner cupcake.

“I am the cupcake,” he chants, “I am one big cupcake. May the cupcakes be with me. Cupcakes are power!”

Bob-Bon sneaks up behind him. “You want to taste some of my cupcakes?”

*************

“I’m here at Sugarcube Corner, the go-to place for anything sweet in Ponyville.”

Opened eighty years ago by the current owners' grandparents, Cheese and Chocolate Cake, the owner took a simple sweet shop and made it into a restaurant that caters half of the events in town. Got a birthday party, anniversary, cute-ceañeras, or just looking for a good time? Then Sugarcube Corner is the place to go.

Adam walks up to the front doors. “Now, I’m here to take on the Pinkie Promise challenge.” He walks inside. “A cupcake…”

“Surprise!” a whole mob of ponies pop out from the shop as confetti rains down.

“Hi again!” Pinkie rushes up to hug the shell-shocked Adam. "Remember me? I saw you were new in town, so I had to run off the throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party like I do with everypony. Then the Cakes told me you were a special pony who isn’t only going to take on my challenge, but is going to make a movie about it. That made me go 'Wowee' so I thought, you deserve a very special party a 'Welcome to Ponyville Adam Rice, you’re about to take on the Pinkie Promise Challenge party!'" She points to a banner that manages to fit it all.

Adam grins at the camera. “Just when you think this town can’t get any better, they throw you a party.”

The show takes a few moments to montage the party. Scenes with Derpy spilling punch, Rarity showing off her latest dress, the CMC getting down, Snips and Snails attempt to get the camera's attention, Adam holding Pound and Pumpkin, Bon-Bon wrapping herself around a blue Adam, and a scene with the whole shop singing a bar song (beer being replaced with sugar).

**********************

Adam takes a seat next to Rumble. "So, what do like most about Sugarcube Corner?"

"It's got the best sweets, and it's got the Pinkie Promise cupcake."

"Do you think you could finish it in one sitting?"

"Eh, that depends. Can I sit for twenty years?"

*********************

"Yeah..." Button Mash sighs as Sweetie Bell muzzles him. "Even if me and my sweet little bell here worked together, we could never get that thing done." He turns to Sweetie Bell. "Is everything okay?"

Sweetie Bell breaks down as she tightly wraps her hooves around Button. "You were gone for so long!"

"I was only grounded for a month."

**************

"So..." Colgate tilts her head to the camera. "I'm being recorded?"

"Yes." Adam nods.

"And, this is going to show up on movie theater screens everywhere?"

"Yeah." Adam begins to tap his hooves. "So, what do you think of the Pinkie Promise Challenge?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what I think of it, Adam," she snatches the microphone out of Adam's hooves. "I think everypony who eats this much sugar is a disgrace! I mean, dear Celestia, we only have one pair of teeth, so why would anypony waste them on a ridiculous seven-pound cupcake?"

Everypony begins to stare.

"That thing has to have at least four pounds of sugar! If you ask me, everypony who tries these ridiculous challenges should go..."

**************
"It's a wonderful cupcake," Scootaloo says, "but I don't think I could finish it."

***************

Cheerilee and Big Mac shake their heads.

"There's no way I can do it." Cheerilee say. "How about you, honey?"

"Eenope, wouldn't even try."

***************

"If you survive," Nurse Redheart says, handing him a card, "look me up for some good diabetic remedies."

"Yeesh." Adam begins to sweat. "So far, my odds are not looking good."

*****************

As fun as it has been to mingle with the locals, I need to get ready for my showdown.

The scene cuts to Adam in the kitchen with the Cakes and Pinkie Pie. “I’m with the store owners, Cup and Carrot Cake, along with their apprentice I, presume?” He nods towards Pinkie Pie.

“Yes sir!” Pinkie Pie chirps. "I hope you're ready Adam, because nopony has been able to finish this cupcake in one sitting other than me."

The camera focuses on Cup Cake. “You see, Adam, when my husband took over the restaurant from his father, one of his first ideas to bring in more customers was to make some sort of contest. However, for the longest time, neither of us could come up with a good idea. We tried door prizes, guess how many gumballs are in the jar, and even a weekly cake walk. Then along came Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie gives a toothy grin at the sound of her name. “After only a few days on the job, she had somehow managed to bake a seven-pound cupcake for a birthday party we were hosting. Then, to our surprise, she had baked a second cupcake that she had finished all on her own.”

“Yeah, and it was delicious!” Pinkie Pie grins. “I mean, at first, I thought I would be fired and sent back to my rock farm for eating so much of their sugar. I even Pinkie Promised never to do it again, I was so worried. Then, they asked me how I was able to eat that much food in one hour, and I looked at them like they were joking. After that, they asked me if could make more of those giant cupcakes to see if other ponies could finish it in one sitting. Turns out nopony other than me can. Nopony until today.”

She embraces Adam. “Oh, this is going to be to so exciting, you’re going to be the second pony to complete this challenge! Awesome!”

Adam begins to turn blue again. “I might not if you break my rib cage. I think the last mare to hug me this tight already weakened it.”

Pinkie lets go with a sheepish grin. “Oops! Sorry!”

*************

We make our way back to the kitchen, where I’ll get a chance to see how this behemoth is made.

Carrot Cake sets a large mixing bowl with all the ingredients on the table. “Alright, Adam, to make your Pinkie Promise cupcake, we’ll need four pounds of flour.”

Adam begins to sweat. “Oh, goody.”

“Seven eggs.”

“Oh my…”

“A gallon of milk.”

“Help me.”

“A whole bottle of vanilla.”

“That’s not so bad.”

He throws a bag of sugar on the table. “And finally,” he says after a deep breath, “two pounds of sugar.”

Adam throws a hoof over his face. “Oh, sweet Celestia, help me!”

“We don’t have Celestia,” Pinkie Pie says, “but we have another Princess to help out.” She opens the back door to welcome in Twilight.

Adam’s eyes widen as a halo surrounds Twilight.

As if I didn’t have enough pressure, now I have a Princess expecting me to complete this cupcake. I can’t fail now.

Twilight places a hoof on Adam’s shoulder. “Adam, you are about to partake in a sugary quest of epic proportions. I’ve seen you handle Joe’s Angry Joenut, so I know that you can do this.”

“Alright then.” Adam brightens up. “If you believe in me, then I can do this!”

“Atta pony.” Twilight goes in for a hug.

Adam winces. “Ow.”

*********************

We wait an hour. Then, the cupcake comes out of the oven smelling like heaven.

Adam take a deep whiff of the cupcake. “Oh, why does something that smells so good have to lead to something that’s going to feel so bad later?”

Pinkie Pie shrugs. “Every rose has its thorn; the same can be said for too many cupcakes. Even I can only eat so much.”

Adam tilts his head while they are frosting and sprinkling the cupcake. “Speaking of, how did you come up with the name for this challenge? Is a Pinkie Promise suppose to mean something?”

Pinkie Pie gasps. “You seriously don’t know what a Pinkie Promise is?”

“No.”

“Well then, we need to change that.” She pulls out a cupcake from her tail. “Now, a Pinkie Promise is like, the absolute, most important, most unbreakable promise you can ever make. To break a Pinkie Promise is to break a friendship. *To do so," she says, biting her tiny cupcake, "you go, 'Cross my heart and hope to fly'..." She throws the rest of the cupcake in her face. "Stick a cupcake in my eye."

“Okay,” Adam says with a nods, “do I have to make a Pinkie Promise before I take on this challenge?”

Pinkie Pie puts the cherry on top of the cupcake, “Of course not, silly! Most ponies who do that for this challenge end up breaking the promise anyways.”

“You know what?” Adam stands up. “Just for you, I am going to finish this challenge if it kills me." He lifts a hoof to his chest. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Pinkie Pie's mouth drops. “Okay, friend, but you better not break your promise.”

Adam looks nervously at the giant cupcake. “I know, Pinkie, I know.”

**********

With the massive cupcake finished, I head out to the dining area to get ready.

Adam takes his seat at a table as the crowd around him cheers. Both Carrot and Cup Cake carry the monster treat out to Adam.

Once they set it down, Cup Cake explains the rules. “Adam," he says while placing a bucket under the table, to complete the Pinkie Promise Challenge, you must finish the entire cupcake, sprinkles and all, in one sitting. There is no time limit, but you cannot leave your chair. You can order anything else if you want to go with it, but if you get up, or throw up, you lose the challenge. Do you understand all of this?”

Adam nods and pounds his hooves on the table. "Yes I do. I'm ready. I'm ready!"

“Go, Adam, go!” Twilight starts off as everypony chants alongside her.

Adam raises his hooves in the air. “Let’s get it on, everypony!” The crowd goes wild as Adam takes his first bite.

****************************

Coming up, the screen shows clips of Adam a quarter of the way done with the cupcake, sweat drips down his mane,will I be able to finish this enormous treat, or will it finish me?

Adam puts a hoof to his head. “Oh, what have I gotten myself into?”

Author's Note

Had to rush out this next chapter due to, unforeseen consequence, but hopeful I got most of the spelling errors fixed. Still, feel free to correct me if I made any grammar mistakes in the comments. Also, the next chapter might be a few week due school and other family related issues, but I'll get to it by April. See you around, and stay brony my friends.

The Pinkie Promise Challenge

Pony vs. Food logo flashes on the screen, the wrestling bell rings, and the camera transitions to Adam taking his first bite of the Pinkie Promise cupcake.

I’m at Sugarcube Corner, the go-to hub for anything sweet in Ponyville. Adam pulls his face out of the cupcake. Where I am beginning my cupcake quest to devour a seven-pound cupcake in one sitting. The odds are against me, but I made a Pinkie Promise, and I plan to see through.

“Go Adam go!” the crowd chants. “Go Adam go!”

“Way to go, Adam,” Fluttershy cheers in the back corner while waving a Pony vs. Food flag.

Adam takes a knife and begins to cut the cupcake in half, horizontally. My strategy is planned out. He takes the cupcake top off and digs into the bottom half. Now, I just have to pray to Celestia that it works.

"My plan is to finish the less appealing bottom half first." He places his hoof over the bottom half. "Then, I go for the more tasty top." He pats the top half. "I'll see you later, beautiful."

Adam takes a break from the cupcake to address the camera. “It’s really,” he say, shoving more into his mouth, “moist. I’m not sure if it’s because of its size or what, but so far, it’s not that hard going down." He takes another large bite. "Either way, while I don't have a time limit, time isn't going to be my friend. I have to get this thing finished before it sinks into my stomach.”

****************

“I think he can do it,” Raindrop says. “I’ve seen a lot of ponies try, but I honestly think he can.”

*****************

“It’s a lost cause if you ask me.” Rarity rolls her eyes. “I mean, it so uncouth these—” she scrunches her face—“eating competitions.”

***************

Colgate shakes her head. “You ponies are all crazy, but I think he can do it.”

***************

"He better not give up," Mayor Mare says. "I have good money on him winning."

"Those aren't tax bits, are they?" somepony on the side asks. Mayor Mare avoids their eyes.

**************

“Let’s go, Adam!” Sweetie Bell cheers. She stomps her hooves on the ground, and everypony follows suit.

“Let’s go, Adam!” Everypony starts to stomp. "Let's go, Adam!"

With a supportive crowd behind me, I finish the bottom half of the cupcake in only ten minutes.

Adam raises his hooves in the air. “The bottom half is done!” The crowd responds with a wave of cheers.

****************

"You can do it, Adam!" Bulk Biceps flexes his muscles. "YEAH!

******************

But I’m just a third of the way done. He dives into the top half, face covered with frosting when he surfaces.

*************

“Adam is, like, so amazing.” Lotus squeals.

“Oh, totally,” Aloe grins. “I wonder if he has a marefriend?”

Bon-Bon zips over and stares down Aloe. “Yes he does! So you better back off before— hey!” She swats away a pair of hooves belonging to a sercutiy pony.

"Madam," he says, "you're going to have to come with me."

Bon-Bon's eyes widen. "What, why?"

"For harassing Mr. Rice on multiply occasions."

"Yeah, over my dead body!" she shoves him aside as he, along with several police ponies, give chase.

"Bon-Bon!" Lyra and Noteworthy cry out right behind them.

****************

I push through the next third, easy breezy. The camera begins to blur. Then, I hit the dreaded sugar wall.

“Oh...” he holds a hoof to his face. “I knew this moment was going to hurt, but wow. Oh my.”

He looks towards the camera. "The hardest part of any starch challenge is when bread begins to expand in your stomach. And now..." He wipes some sweat from his forehead. "It's happening." Adam crosses his eyes. “Oh, its fighting back.” He takes a minute to breathe before taking the next bite, smaller than the others. “Somepony should make a horror based movie on this cupcake.”

*********************

Pinkie Pie shakes her head. “So far, Adam is only a few bits away from passing the record the last guy had. I don’t know... He Pinkie Promised, but he’s not looking good.”

******************

Rose shakes her head. "I thought he could do it, but now it's not looking so good."

********************

Nurse Redheart wheels in the gurney. "We'll be ready for him."

*******************

I am but a pound away from finishing this thing, when I reach the point of no return. Adam places a hoof on his head. I want to go on, but the challenge is getting harder.

********************

“I’m sorry, everypony,” Adam says five minutes later. “I don’t think I can go on.”

The crowd moans. Most try to convince him to keep going.

Adam holds up his hooves, face hanging down. He places his hoof on the table next to the unfished cupcake. “It looks like in this battle, food—"

The door swings open as a heavenly light shines through the restaurant. Just when I was about to give up, Adam stares wide-eyed at Celestia, I am visited by a goddess.

“Sorry I’m late, everypony.” Celestia glance upon Adam. “How are you doing, Adam?" She raises an eyebrow. "You weren’t about to give up, were you?”

I am both honored and wetting my seat at the same time. “Oh no, no.” He shoves another mouthful, pain radiating from his eyes as he shallows. “I wasn’t going to give up.”

“Good.” She leans over and kisses him on the head. The crowd gasps, Twilight faints, Bon-Bon's looks conflicted. “Because I, your Princess, command you to finish this cupcake!”

With a direct order from not one, but two Princesses, I find my second wind. Dramatic music plays in the background. I can’t give up now. He swoops up a hoof-full of cupcake into his mouth. The crowd loses it.

***************

“He’s going to do it!” Derpy cries out as Hooves and Dinky keep her grounded.

****************

Applejack tips her hat. “Ah reckon he’s going to make it after all.”

****************

Rarity scuffs. “So barbaric.”

“Agreed,” Colgate nods her head. “So, why are we here again?”

******************

“Come on, Adam!” Carmel shouts. "You can do it!"

I push through, bite, after bite, after painful bite. He wipes his face off with a towel. Until I am down to my last bite.

“Come on, Adam!” Pinkie Pie motions as she helps the wobbling lavender alicorn up from the floor. “One more bite.” Twilight looks around, and falls back down when she sees Celestia cheering Adam on.

“One more bite, one more bite, one more bite!”

Taking a deep breath, he shoves the cupcake piece into his mouth, and swallows. Then, as the crowd starts to cheers, Adam bends under the table, making barfing sounds.

The crowd is silent. Nopony moves, only Fluttershy's pet cricket, Ben, can be heard.

Seconds pass. Adam returns topside, eye's crossed, head spinning.

Pinkie Pie races over to inspects the area. Even Ben has gone silent.

Pinkie Pie eventually surfaces, empty bucket in hoof.

“It's clean! He did it!”

Fluttershy's cheer startles everypony. "Woohoo, he did it!

Once the shock is over, everypony joins in and loses it, except for a few of Mayor Mare's friends. Hugs are exchanged, tears are shed, and confetti flies everywhere as more fires out of the party cannon.

Adam tries to get up, but Bon-Bon burst into the restaurant, races up to him, pushes him down, throws his head back, and plants a big sloppy kiss onto his lips.

Adam fights back, but Bon-Bon keeps him firmly connected as the kiss lasts a full minute. Adam doesn't complain after a while, mostly because of the his sugar high.

Bon-Bon eventually breaks the kiss. She then go bonkers. “HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!” She runs off, laughing her head off the whole way as security and police ponies give chase.

“Bon-Bon!” Lyra shouts right behind them.

Adam’s eyes begin to realign. “I won’t be forgetting this town."

He then realizes what he has done and stands up to address the crowd. "Today, in the battle of pony versus food—" he holds up the tray in victory—"pony won!" The crowd celebrates like it's the end of the world. Pinkie Pie puts up her 'Adam won the Pinkie Promise Challenge' banner.

Author's Note

Couldn't find anything close to just a still of the Avatar Theme playing in the background. Sorry, but please point me in the right direction if you can find such a video. And yes, Lavender unicorn, I had to put it in here somewhere or else it would be a proper Fim fic story.

Credits and epilogue

“Adam, Adam!” A crowd of reporters flash their cameras.

“Yes um, yes, you there."

"Adam," a reporter asks, holding up a notepad, "how do you feel?"

"Like I never want to eat sugar ever again."

"Well that's silly!" Pinkie throws a two-pound cupcake into her mouth. Adam holds a hoof over his muzzle.

"Adam!" Featherweight raises a hoof. "Was it delicious?"

"It was the best seven-pound cupcake I've ever had."

"Would you do it again, Adam?"

"No!"

*****************
The credits begin to roll.

"Do you have any questions, comments, or any ideas of where I should go next? Then mail me here." He points to a PO. Box address that flashes at the bottom of the screen. "I'll see you there. Thanks for watching."

The film finishes up with the Pony vs. Food logo, and the copyrights tags of Travel Cinema.

The next film begins to play; My Little Human, Princess Promenade Saves The Rainbows.

***************************

Epilogue

The lights to Lyra's and Bon-Bon's place click on.

"I don't know what's worse." Bon-Bon rubs her head. "How you and Noteworthy ran out of the theater when they began to play that human movie, or the fact that you did so. I thought you two were obsessed with that, human stuff."

"Hey," Lyra says, "first of all, we only like the present My Little Human franchise. That previous generation is for little foals."

"Lyra, it's all for..." she shakes her head. "Whatever, it's not worth it."

Lyra shrugs. "Suit yourself. I still can't believe Noteworthy's a homie." She sighs heavily and leans into the wall.

"You both know that's never going to catch on?"

"Uh-huh, sure." There's a knock at the door. "I'll get it." Lyra walks off. Bon-Bon heads to the kitchen to make some tea.

"Thank you, Derpy," Lyra's voice echoes across the house. "Yes, I'll see you at the My Little Human movie premiere. Goodnight." Bon-Bon rolls her eyes.

"What you got there?" Bon-Bon asks as Lyra levitates a box into the living room.

"Just some My Little Human merchandise." She opens the boxes, which containa several dolls and comic books.

"Of course it is."

"Oh, but I have something for you too." Lyra levitates a cubby human doll with black hair over to Bon-Bon.

"What is this?" Bon-Bon tentatively pokes the doll.

"A humanized version of Adam Rice. I got it on sale from a friend." Lyra grins toothily. "You like?" The doll soars over her head and lands in the trashcan.

"For the last time, I was suffering from a lack of proper vitamins and minerals." Bon-Bon turns her head away. "If that pony ever steps foot in this town again, I could care less."

"Whatever you say" Lyra nods and lets out a yaw. She picks up her package and heads up stairs. "Goodnight, Bon-Bon."

"Sure." Bon-Bon sips her tea. She makes herself comfortable, but once the door to Lyra's room snaps shut, she races over to the trashcan.

She takes out the Adam doll, nuzzles it furiously, and sulks over to a secret passageway. Inside is a shrine to Adam Rice. It has posters, pictures, film reels and Pony vs. Food burrito wrappers.

She sets the Adam doll down next to a lock of his mane and a restraining order signed by Adam and his lawyers.

"Two more years, Adam." She heavenly rubs the doll's nose. "And we'll be together, forever."

"Is that so?" Bon-Bon jumps at the sound of Lyra atop the stairs.

Bon-Bon is lost for words as she stares helplessly from Lyra to her collection.

"No more making fun of my obsession?"

Bon-Bon sighs. "No more."

Author's Note

Have a problem with Bob-Bon and Lyra being straight, or just don't like Lyra x Noteworthy in general, check out my other story, I promised here; http://www.fimfiction.net/story/176135/you-promised-a-heartstring-story. Or feel free to check out any of my other stories on my home page.

Thank you all for reading, commenting, and liking this story, and for those of you who are following me, I'll see you around for, The Silver Spoon's sequel in June.