Fallout Equestria: A Courier's Care

"So, why did your 'squadmates' flip the fuck out and shoot the back half of my body off with two .50 BMG rounds?" Dawn asked after a while.

"You're an alicorn; alicorns kidnap unicorns and take them off to who-knows where, never to be seen again. Add in the fact that there hasn't been a friendly alicorn until you and everyone gets a little trigger happy." Grey explained.

"What about Celestia or Luna?" He asked, cracking his neck. I made the three of them pause so I could force Dawn's shit back onto him.

"I'm not a goddamn pack mule for you." I said. "You can carry two hundred fucking pounds more than I can, don't force fifty pounds onto me because you're being a lazy dick." Dawn rolled his eyes but accepted his armor without complaint.

"Luna is confirmed to be dead." Grey answered as I pulled pieces of armor out of subspace or whatever the fuck my Pip-Boy used to store my shit. "Nobody really knows if Celestia is dead or not, but Canterlot took a direct hit from a Megaspell. If she survived that, she's possibly the reason almost nobody can make it out of the ruins alive."

"What if she wasn't in Canterlot when the megaspell hit?" Dawn countered. Grey let out a dry chuckle.

"I don't see her royal white ass swooping down and smiting all of the Raiders for being immoral." He muttered. "It's entirely possible she's still alive, but with the way the Wasteland looks, that possibility's slimmer than me."

"How come my sisters are so casually talked about these days?" Dawn asked after we started off again, heading in a random as fuck direction. Random to us, anyway; Grey knew this place better than us.

"When all you got is death and destruction to wake up to on a daily basis, some respect kinda leaves. Just be glad you weren't around when the war started, or else you would have curses tacked on, as well." Grey explained.

"What do you mean, war? I know something did this, but I don't know the details." I asked before Dawn could.

"Before the Megaspells hit, ponies were at war with the zebras." He began, and I instantly felt vibes from humanity's war against itself. "In the middle of it, Celestia stepped down and passed power to Luna, which was less of a mistake than most think."

"So my little sister took control. Who made the Megaspells?" Dawn asked.

"The Element of Kindness, a pegasus named Fluttershy." He answered. "She gave them to both sides, thinking that they wouldn't dare use them. Obviously, she thought wrong. Nobody knew who launched the first spell, but ponies believe it was the zebras. An entire fucking war over coal and gems."

"Twenty caps say that over in Zebra land, they're saying that the ponies launched first." I muttered. "Kinda like what happened to us, except it was mostly between China and America. We screwed over the entire world over petroleum and uranium." A ping from Dawn and I's Pip-Boy's stopped all conversations, coming from the radio tab. We automatically switched to it.

“…and it’s time for another DJ Pon3 pony survival tip.  Today I want to talk to you about two of the biggest threats you might stumble across in the Equestrian Wasteland.  No, not radigators, bloodwings or even hellhounds.  No, children, today I want to talk to you about their mothers.  That’s right, pull up a chair, cuz it’s time for DJ Pon3 to talk to you about the dangers of radiation and taint…”

"Sounds a little like Three Dog from those Capital Wasteland radio signals..." I muttered.

“…Magical radiation, as we all know, is a side effect of powerful and wicked magics released violently on Equestria.  Naturally, the biggest and worst zones of radiation are found in places like the Fillydelphia Crater, the Manehattan city center… pretty much everywhere the megaspells hit except for Cloudsdale and Canterlot (both of which should be avoided for other reasons).  But even a recently exploded skywagon can be radioactive.  Fortunately, so long as you always carry your radiation detectors, kids, these places can be avoided.

“The more insidious threat of radiation is that it bleeds into food and water.  Always drink purified water whenever you can.  Make sure you carry several canteens whenever you travel, and fill them at every safe water supply.  Keep a healthy supply of RadAway…” That's a fucking no-brainer.

“…Taint, on the other hoof, is a zebra of very different stripes.  Nopony knows exactly what the taint is or where it comes from, but we know its mutative effects on monsters and the fatally malignant repercussions on ponies.  Remember, folks: taint don’t care what you’re wearing.  No protective suit keeps it out.  And there’s no cure.  Only way to safely tell if a place is tainted is by reputation.  Discover one by any other means, it’s probably too late …”

Sounded to me like the best way to hide something was to stick it in a cave and hang a sign saying “Danger: Taint” outside. Or something like that.

“And in the news, one of the smaller settlements in the Manehattan Ruins, Gutterville, has gone silent.  If anypony is traveling through that way, please pop a head in and see what’s going on.  Then let your ol’ pal DJ Pon3 know.

“Now, I know what all of you are actually wondering: what about that Equestrian heroine from Stable Two?  What’s she up to?”

"What?" Dawn asked in confusion. Grey shushed him.

“Well, I’ve got incredible news: the Stable Dweller loves you!  That’s right, all of you!  And you know how I know?...

“…because she sent a little toaster repairpony to me with a special delivery.  Starting tomorrow, there will be some new songs added to our broadcast.  So keep yourselves tuned in, faithful listeners, because you don’t want to be the last pony around to have heard the discs I’ll be spinnin’ for you tomorrow!   And now, once again, it’s Sapphire Shores singing that the sun can’t hide forever.”

"The Stable Dweller is a pony who's been doing a lot these last few weeks." Grey explained as some music started, causing Dawn and I to turn the volume down. "She's rarely ever seen without the group she's with."

"Which would be?" Dawn asked as we continued walking.

"A sharpshooter Dashite, a unicorn medic, and an actual Steel Ranger." He answered. "I was preforming recon for the squad I just killed, and was nearly spotted by the pegasus."

"Quick question." I said, rubbing my chest as I felt a small pang coming from the scar tissue over my heart. "What do you think about ghouls?"

"I'll respect the non-Feral ones." He answered. "They have it even worse than I do. The Feral ones... They'll be put down like the animals they are."

"Good. Hate bigots that think all ghouls are evil." I muttered, cracking my back. "Where are we going?"

"Tenpony Tower." The changeling answered, getting confused looks from the both of us. "One of the most secure areas in the Wastes, even if it costs a foreleg to get in."

"How many caps?" I asked, checking to make sure I had all of them.

"A thousand for the three of us."

"Wouldn't it be four?" Grace suddenly asked.

"Er... Yea, a thousand for the four of us." Grey awkwardly clarified. None of us wanted to point out that Grace would be going in anyway, since it (or rather, 'she') was my armour.

"Whelp, between you and me, Dawn, I got all of my caps." I said after a moment.

"As do I." He replied, causing us to grin.

"What does that mean?" The armored changeling asked in confusion.

"Being rulers of New Vegas and casino owners to boot, we're kinda set with caps." Dawn started.

"And we never leave the Lucky 38 without our Pip-Boys, some weapons, and thirty thousand caps each." I finished. Grey simply stared at us for a moment, before fainting.

"Figures." Dawn sighed, helping me drag the unconscious body into an abandoned building not too far away. Didn't look like a raider base, so that was good enough.