Why I Hate You: Numbers 1-10
Rarity, just before Rainbow emerged from that barrel of apples, had screamed three times that morning. The first scream had been during her morning shower. The unicorn had picked up a bottle of conditioner instead of shampoo. She had in fact noticed long before she put any of the perfume-smelling product on her hair, but still, can you imagine the havoc it would have wrecked on her coiffure?
Rarity certainly could. So she screamed.
The next scream had occurred just before the fashionista entered the kitchen. The knowledge that Sweetie Belle was staying had kicked in, and she suddenly remembered what happened when Sweetie Belle stayed.
Fire. Terrible burning and terrible fire. As burning as it was terrible.
She had screamed before even entering the kitchen. The memory of just how much effort it had been to replace the worktops last time was enough to push her fear from a gnawing sense of dread to a vocal summation of the feeling of ‘Oh shit no’.
However, her shriek was proven to be unneeded. Upon barging into the kitchen with the fire extinguisher she had installed for reasons she didn’t feel needed explaining, Rarity found Sweetie simply sat at the table. She had been eating a regular, non-incinerated bowl of cereal, and was staring at Rarity with a deadpan expression.
Rarity had smiled sheepishly and deposited the fire extinguisher back in its rightful place. In the cupboard under the stairs. Right with the other seventeen.
Her final scream had been the loudest by far, and one of frustration more than fear. Just after she had waved Sweetie off to school, Rarity realised something awful. Something abhorrent and sickening. For the third day in a row, Sweetie hadn’t worn that custom golden beret Rarity had made for her.
That little… oh Rarity had decided Sweetie was going to be getting so much spinach for tea that night. Rarity would give her sister so much spinach, she strongly suspected it might actually be against the law. Could you even make Spinach cheesecake? Well they’d all be finding out that night
But the day waits for no mare, so Rarity had begun her errands. First off had been the market. Rarity had just stopped to admire a lovely smelling bushel of apples when Rainbow Dash’s grinning face had emerged from said bushel.
That was the precise moment Rarity added the fourth scream to her tally, and it was also the reason she was currently leaning on a nearby stall desperately attempting not to go into cardiac arrest.
“Hey Rares,” the pegasus said nonchalantly. Rarity caught her breath before replying.
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack Rainbow Dash?! How are you even fitting in there?” Rainbow gave a couple of bits to the confused looking store owner, before picking out an apple with a wing. She began munching on the fruit, all the while fixing Rarity with an unreadable expression.
“Well, when you’re as flexible as I am…” the expression turned smug and Rarity started to prep her inevitable eye-roll “...it’s really not hard to bend into any position.”
Mission accomplished, Rarity rolled her eyes, and cursed herself for the small smile that forced its way onto her face. Dash spied the grin like a hawk would a baby rabbit. Her metaphorical talons opened, ready to ensnare the prey. Rarity started off in the opposite direction, Rainbow got out of the apple-pile and followed.
“So, how about it Rares? Me and you, dinner, a movie, maybe some dancing?” the pegasus asked after falling into step beside her friend. Rainbow’s confident front almost masked the fact that both mares knew exactly what Rarity’s answer would be.
“Wow! Really Rainbow, dinner and a film? Maybe we can also get a limo to the school disco. We might even get to hold hooves!” Rarity squealed in mock excitement. Rainbow smirked, she did love an opponent with bite.
“I’d ask why you don’t want to come out, but I know exactly what you’re going to say. I’m just waiting for you to realise how ridiculous it is,” the cyan pony retorted. Despite the subject matter, the tone of the exchange was light and conversational. Both mares felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company, which made Rainbow all the more maddeningly insistent the two of them explore… further relations.
“Oh, then that’s another argument you can use darling. We’re both waiting for the other to see how ridiculous they’re being. Why it’s almost like we were made for each other,” the fashionista deadpanned.
“You know, a while ago Twilight said that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Dash bit back,
“Oh please,” Rarity chuckled, “That expression is only used by ponies who are bitter about the fact that they can’t execute sarcasm gracefully enough for it to be amusing.” Rainbow laughed along with Rarity, and the two carried on ambling through the marketplace.
The unicorn stopped a fabric stall for a few minutes. Dash waited patiently until Rarity had finished nosing around. With saddlebags now full with reams of material, the seamstress began to wander off in the direction of home. Rainbow didn’t follow.
After a few seconds, Rarity turned to look at her friend expectantly.
“Are you coming?” Rainbow smiled, and wordlessly fell into step beside the unicorn once more.
“So, I assume this is the part of my morning where you try to convince me to go on that date with you?”
“I don’t know why you need convincing. I like you, you like me-” Rainbow began,
“Now hold on a minute,” Rarity spluttered, “What makes you think I like you?”
“Do you really want me to go into this again?” Dash replied lazily. When she didn’t get an answer, she took it as a cue to go ahead.
“Well first off, we’re both into mares. We also happen to get on great with one another, and I seem to remember the conversation that started all of this off pretty well.”
“Oh, you mean the first time you asked me out…
“Hey Rarity, want to be my fillyfriend?”
“No.”
… Almost like a scene from Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it?” Rainbow didn’t take the bait.
“You know what I’m talking about Rares. You and me, Sweet Apple Acres
