The Meaning of Life

Chapters

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Prologue
Chapter Three

Chapter One

If there’s one thing I’ve come to despise in my career as a student, it’s a question without an answer. Such a thing just rubs me the wrong way, like an itch I can’t scratch. Of course, a question without an answer is absolutely instrumental in our development as a species. It’s these insatiable itches that cause the great thinkers of pony-kind to make great discoveries and think great thoughts, whether it’s Archimaredes’ discovery of density or Galihayo’s heliocentric theory.

Sometimes my mentor thinks that spending too much time trying to answer questions is detrimental to my well-being. As much as I respect her, I think the notion is ridiculous. After all, the more decisions we make about something, the more we remember it. There’s nothing that helps my studies more than figuring things out. Of course, that’s not her chief concern, but her insistent obsession about the nonsense of friendship is, in my opinion, the princess’ biggest flaw. True, every thinking pony needs colleagues, but that is the extent that I will ever acknowledge the importance of anything pertaining even remotely to friendship.

Anyway, I’m getting off-track. I tend to do that a lot.

It was a fateful day shortly after I became the princess’ student that I stumbled upon a book that changed my whole outlook about magic and philosophy. It was a Xenopone treatise on Classical history, but the actual history wasn’t the interesting part. What really raised my curiosity was the short summary of Starswirl the Bearded’s final work.

You see, he stumbled upon something incredible. Something so elementary, yet so absolutely essential. He discovered the Meaning of Life.

Now most ponies would think of the Meaning of Life as some philosophical mumbo-jumbo that has no effect of anypony’s lives that pretentious ponies use to make themselves sound smart. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Yes, discovering the Meaning of Life had far-reaching philosophical implications. It is the reason why ponies exist at all, but arguably more important, it is the single unifying element of all magic. It is the fundamental constant that shows up in every theory on magic, whether pegasus, unicorn, or earth. It would open up a vast new avenue of understanding of such a basic element of our lives. It would start a revolution.

However, I have no idea where to start looking for it. Xenopone didn’t go into any detail, except that Clover the Clever claimed that Starswirl found it shortly before he passed. Yes, the idea pervades my thoughts, but it’s just in the background. It’s an itch in my mind.

An itch I’d give anything to scratch…

“Twilight, it’s like, ten o’clock at night. Is the library even open?”

“Spike, I told you before, the princess said I could use the library whenever I needed to, that the guard would let me in.”

“I bet the guard would like to go to bed, too,” he grumbled.

I looked at him as empathetically as I could. Spike may be a sleepyhead, but he would never consciously let me down. “The princess has scheduled an oral exam tomorrow. If I fail…” My heart skipped at having to utter the word, and decided to continue skipping and resonate panic through my chest. “…I don’t know what will happen! She might have to give me remedial lessons, or send me back to magic preschool, or s-stop being my teacher, or…”

“Twilight,” Spike said reassuringly, “It’s okay. I’m sorry I complained. Just calm down—your number one assistant is here!”

He thumped his chest with a proud smile. I couldn’t help but smile back at him. I had three friends in this world, friends I’d begrudgingly admit shared utility outside of academia—the princess, my brother, and Spike—and I trusted them all to the bottom of my heart. Three friends… Most ponies would find such a prospect patently ridiculous. We are, in that most primal base of our minds, herd animals after all. Social interaction is in our nature. Well, the way I see it, such primitive drives faded out of practical use when the ingenuity of the pony mind brought forth agriculture and civilization from the fog of the unknown. Why we need to continue to…

“Twilight! Watch where you’re going!” Spike warned.

Too late. I collided with another pony, the break in concentration causing all of my magically levitated study notes to scatter to the expanses of the hallway. I cursed under my breath while forcing an apologetic smile onto my face. My easily-distracted mind got the better of me again.

“I’m so sorry!” I said to the pony I had run into, “Sometimes I just think about things and then I lose track of what I’m doing.”

“It’s not a problem!” she replied, just a little too happy to have been knocked on the floor, “In fact, I’m glad I ran into you!”

After having gathered my papers haphazardly into my aura, I turned my gaze toward the mare. Mint coated unicorn mare, golden lyre cutie mark. I had an unpleasant lurch of recognition. I didn’t remember her name, but Celestia knows I couldn’t forget this mare. I went to magic school with her, where her favorite activity was hijacking our lessons to talk about some nonsense. I remember the report she did when the class assignment was “Races of Equus”. She did it on sea-ponies, a race that only exists in her head. Ever since I’d become the princess’ student, she found a new favorite activity in harassing me about conspiracies.

“Look,” I said as patiently as I could, “I know what you’re going to say, and there are no government secrets I’m hiding. I thought you would have already figured this out, Miss…”

“You don’t remember me, Twilight? I’m Lyra. Remember, we went to school together,” she said, a hurt expression slipping onto her face momentarily before shifting quickly back into a grin, “I’m real sorry about cornering you that one time, by the way. I was young; I should have realized that the princess wouldn’t share in the conspiracy so easily. I’ve come to realize that chupacabras must have gone extinct.”

“Chupacabra? What?”

“The princess wouldn’t tell a regular pony about anything like that, anyway. That’s why I think she’s secretly planning on mutating you into an alicorn, so that she’ll be able to tell you all about the humans!”

I facehoofed. It seemed like every time I met her, she was obsessed over some new fantastic beast or ridiculous conspiracy. “Look, Lyra, first off, it’s not possible to ‘mutate’ into an alicorn. There’s simply no spell that would allow one to consciously make that change, or else we’d all be alicorns.” I rubbed my brow, trying to coax away the headache I felt coming on. “Secondly, and I’m being absolutely honest about this, there’s no such thing as humans!”

Lyra continued to smile at me. I could hear Spike shifting uncomfortably beside me. He was always a bit wary when she appeared. It was probably the crazy. I continued to force my smile, which had by now become very lopsided in exhaustion.

“I’m not sure if you know this, Lyra, but the castle is closed to visitors after eight. So…” I drew out the last word, hoping beyond hope that she’d get the hint.

“How about guests?” she asked.

I racked my brain to recall the castle protocols that I had read a few years ago. “Guests are allowed as long as they are accompanied by the pony that invited them. And I don’t see…”

“Great!” She smiled and quickly moved to my side. “I’m with you, so everything’s good now, right? So where are you off to so late?”

I facehoofed again. Confound these ponies, they’d drive me to drink if I were old enough. As I was just about to explain, while strangling her very calmly, Spike yawned and sat against the wall, his eyes drooping. I sighed. I didn’t have long before he passed out entirely and I had to carry him back to bed. I was beginning to feel the fatigue of the hour as well.

“Alright, look, I have a lot of important studying to do at the library. If you promise to just sit there quietly, you can tag along. Okay?”

Grinning broadly, she nodded and gave a lopsided salute. I could help but smile and shake my head at her enthusiasm. She may be one of the most annoying ponies I’ve ever met, but that girl’s smile was infectious. Her search for the illusive and fictional human may be completely pointless, but Celestia knows she at least loves doing what she does.

I levitated Spike onto my back, his eyes still half asleep, and the three of us were off.

Celestia’s moon was bright tonight. I was thankful for that, because the candle brackets lining the walls never illuminated the castle corridors quite as much as I would like, and I never really enjoyed the dark. It was one thing to be studying under the warm glow of candlelight, but the marble halls of the palace, echoing with hoofsteps, were never very inviting. I looked over my shoulder at Lyra, who seemed to be thinking along similar lines. She stared up at the full moon, its welcoming light reflecting off her amber eyes. Before long, we had reached the ornate doors of the castle library.

“Good evening, Ms. Sparkle!” The guardpony at the door saluted. “Will you be using the library tonight, ma’am?”

“Yes, thank you.”

The guardpony quickly unlocked the door and stood at attention as we passed through, the door gently closing behind us. With a small effort, I channeled energy through my horn and magically lit the candles and chandeliers that adorned the massive library.

“Well he sure was a stick in the mud.”

“Lyra, I thought you said you would let me study in silence?” I replied with exasperation.

“Speaking of…” she trailed off.

Just ignore her, Twilight. She’ll shut up eventually.

“…what are you studying?”

“Magic,” I responded curtly.

“What kind of magic?”

“Teleportation magic.”

“Is that…”

“Lyra! I have a lot of studying to do!”

She at least had the sense to look abashed. “Sorry, I was just trying to make conversation.”

“There’s no point.”

“Of course there’s a point! I want to get to know you better.”

“Why? What purpose could that possibly serve?”

“You’re kidding, right? Getting to know somepony is a lot of fun. You were always too busy studying in school to ever talk to anypony, and I was kind of hoping we could fix that.”

“I don’t have time for fun, Lyra. I have an exam tomorrow.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know.”

I knew this was a bad idea. Flipping through my agonizingly askew notes, I found that I was scheduled to study the history of teleportation spells… twenty minutes ago! That meant I would either have to spend some time trimming time off of a few more subjects, or stay late. I suppose that it would just waste more time fixing the schedule, but that would mean I would have to allot time for schedule-fixing. Maybe if…

“So you get to come to the library anytime you want?”

I groaned. “Yes, Lyra.”

“That’s pretty cool. I’ve been banned for a year now. Something about ‘harassing the librarian’. I didn’t think I was that annoying though. So you can just read any book you want, too?”

“No,” I replied distractedly as I stood up from the table to head for the history section, “The princess said I can’t go into the Starswirl the Bearded wing until I become more experienced.”

Lyra’s eyes lit up. “Why is that?”

“She says that she’s looked over all the books in there, and she thinks that they’re too dangerous for most ponies to attempt. I agree with her,” I added sternly.

“But haven’t you ever thought about what’s in there? What she would want to keep from the rest of Equestria? What if she keeps all her clopfics in there?”

“I sincerely doubt…”

“Isn’t there anything that you had a problem with, but couldn’t figure out from this library? Something you’ve always wanted to know?”

I sighed yet again. I knew I should take her out of the library and have the guard escort her off the castle grounds. I knew that there would be no possible way I could get anything accomplished otherwise, but… well, it was a mixture of things. I’m not really good with talking to other ponies in general. I would have to say that I exhibit some signs of avoidant personality disorder, albeit a minor case of it. Anyway, I found it incredibly hard to confront other ponies. Some would say that it can lead to passive-aggressive tendencies, but…

“So what do you say?” she insisted.

…On the other hoof, as long as I didn’t try anything in those books, it couldn’t hurt, right? Knowledge isn’t meant to just sit on a dusty bookshelf. I looked over at Spike, who was leaning over a library table, asleep. There was just one problem.

“How are we going to get in? The door to the Starswirl the Bearded wing is always guarded, like the library.”

“And they won’t let you in? You are Princess Celestia’s personal student, after all.”

I rubbed my chin. “I’ve never actually tried that. I doubt it would work, though.”

“Aren’t there any other entrances?”

“That door over there connects to the Starswirl the Bearded wing.” I pointed toward an ancient wooden door, completely unassuming to all who didn’t know better. “But it’s always locked with magic-proof fittings.”

Lyra’s ever-present smile grew. She materialized a thin piece of metal in her magic and looked at me, as if I was supposed to be impressed.

“This is our way in,” she said, “I read an interesting article in “Cryptoanthropology Monthly” that there’s a theory that humans used small pieces of metal instead of keys sometimes.”

“Lyra, that’s a fork.”

“I always thought that forks were a bizarre tool. I mean, only unicorns can use them, and they could just as easily levitate the food without the forks, so why have them? Maybe they were actually human lock-picking tools that we mistook as eating utensils.”

Damn it, Lyra. I can’t believe I was actually going along with this plan. Maybe she’ll give up and be quiet when she realizes you can’t fit a fork into a door lock.

“Knock yourself out.”

“Alright! Let’s do this.”

With entirely too little delicacy to underline the sensitive nature of our intended actions, she attacked the door with the fork. I’m not really sure how she thought the humans supposedly opened doors without keys, but I was beginning to doubt they rammed forks against keyholes with little regard to physics. I was also beginning to doubt her sanity.

“Lyra, it’s not working. Come on, I’ll escort you out of the castle.”

“Hold on, I think I almost have it.”

“Lyra, it doesn’t fit.”

“That’s what she said. Also, yes it will,” she replied without looking away from her work, “Maybe if I get rid of some of these stupid…”

“What is all that racket?” a sleepy voice questioned from behind me, making me jump. I had forgotten that Spike was still here.

“It’s nothing, Spike. Why don’t you go on back to the room and get some sleep? I think I can handle the rest of my studying.”

“I can see that,” he responded sarcastically, “Where does that door even go to?”

“Oh, you know…” I said, smiling unconvincingly.

Spike shrugged. “I guess I will head off to bed. Let me try something first.”

Pushing past an increasingly frustrated Lyra, he reached up and gripped the door handle, deftly turning it and pushing the door open.

“But that door’s always locked!” I exclaimed.

Spike shrugged again. Without another word, he traipsed off toward the library exit. Lyra stared down at her very bent fork, an uncharacteristic frown on her face.

Yeah, maybe humans aren’t quite as smart as you think, huh?, I thought. Wow, that was mean. I really needed to calm down.

“Come on.” I beckoned.

As quietly as we could, we crept into the restricted section of the library. It was very well maintained for a room that was only accessible to the princess herself, at least from what I could see in the dark. I contemplated for a second whether I should light the candles as I did in the main room, but decided against it. If for some reason a guard heard a noise and came in to investigate, a fully lighted set of chandeliers would be a dead giveaway that something was amiss. I levitated an already lit candle from the other room. It floated beside us, casting unnerving shadows on the shelves of ancient books. Every time I looked away, a shadow would move in a way that would cause a fleeting stir of panic to rise in my chest. I began to doubt my decision to come here more with every step we took.

“What is it exactly you were hoping to find?” I asked, trying to get my mind off my own nervousness.

“I was looking for anything by Clover the Clever dating from after Starswirl the Bearded’s death.”

“Really? Not humans?”

“Well, actually, I was actually looking into the mythology of humans…”

I should have known.

“…and the first mention of humans in literature was a short except from Critias, a play Clover wrote shortly after the death of her mentor. It was only like, a paragraph, though. I was hoping there might be something in here that went into more detail.”

“Wow, I’m impressed.” I raised my eyebrows. “I wasn’t expecting anything so… intellectual.”

“Hey, just because I enjoy the weirder side of academia doesn’t mean I’m not smart. All knowledge is worth attaining, no matter how obscure.”

“That’s… wow, that’s pretty cool.”

“Um… glad you like it?” Lyra grinned, her cheeks reddening slightly. She turned to scan the array of paper and papyrus on the shelf next to us. I obligingly held the candle over her shoulder.

It’s not often I meet another pony so interested in knowledge for knowledge’s sake, that is, besides Princess Celestia. Even the rest of my fellow students from the magic academy were just trying to get something out of it—credentials to get a good job, learning tricks to impress less talented ponies, et cetera, et cetera. Even if Lyra just cared about mythical creatures, at least she was using that interest to learn about great thinkers like Clover the Clever. Maybe someday she’ll outgrow this strange obsession and really expand her scholarly horizons. I guess everypony has some surprises hidden under their glaringly obvious exterior, just waiting in store for someone to care enough to look a little closer.

“These are all some sort of time-spell scrolls,” she noted with disappointment, “Where would the Clover stuff be?”

I looked around distractedly, once again being rudely jerked from my meditations by the mint mare. “Perhaps there’s some kind of section on the Classical Era?”

“Yeah, that would do it!” she exclaimed.

I followed her as she pranced through the library, grimacing at the noise her hooves made against the marble floor. Her eyes were afflicted with an acute case of hyperactivity, never resting on any one thing for longer than a minute fraction of a second. She often spun around in a complete circle, trying to reread signs she had missed in her impatient exuberance. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself; she reminded me of myself the first time I had gotten to use the Royal Library. I might have been in the same state of ecstasy had I not been so uneasy about the trespass to begin with.

“I looked everywhere!” Lyra exclaimed suddenly, pouting and stomping her front hoof in frustration, “There’s no ‘Classical’ section!”

I frowned and looked around briefly, before pointing to a sign not twenty feet away.

“Atticus,” she read, turning to me in confusion.

“Atticus is Latin,” I explained with relish, “It’s referring to an area of the ancient world where philosophy was born. Starswirl the Bearded was from there, as well as Clover and her apprentice, Aristrotle. In fact, the ancient…”

“Got it!” she said.

I sighed. Some ponies just don’t have any patience. She ran to the shelf as fast as her legs could carry her, eyes dancing happily back and forth. I brought the candle’s meager light a little closer to the shelves (not too close—these were very old books, after all!) I saw a whole range of topics sitting on the shelf before me, ranging from theories of ethics to geometry. Some were written in Equestrian, some in a dead tongue. Some were modern rewrites, some looked older than Equestria itself. My eyes settled on an old tome, and the title on the cover almost made me drop my candle in shock.

Mirror of the Mind, XII
Starswirl the Bearded
New Equestrian Translation

I have, of course, read the entire Mirror of the Mind series. It is Starswirl’s quintessential anthology. All eleven of them. There’s only eleven! Every paper by every scholar I’ve ever read have referred to his famous eleven part collection. But sitting right here was number twelve. It was possibly the only one in existence.

“I can’t find anything by Clover… Hey, what’re you looking at?” Lyra asked, trotting over to my side and reading the title. “Starswirl? Why would one of his books be in the Starswirl the Bearded section? I mean… Damn it, that sounded stupid. But this is the restricted section! I may not be an expert, but I never thought Starswirl was into black magic or anything like that.”

“He wasn’t,” I replied, my eyes still glued to the mystical tome, “Maybe it’s in here by accident! There’s another whole volume to ‘Mirror of the Mind’. We have to publish this; ponies need to know. Can you imagine how excited everypony would be? There will be debates about this book for decades to come!”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Open it up!” Lyra hopped with uncontrolled excitement, her previous quest completely forgotten.

“Okay, but calm down. Somepony might hear us,” I chided, smiling in spite of myself. I tenderly grasped the book in my telekinesis, giving it every bit as much reverence as a book of such monumental importance deserved. I floated it over to a nearby table and laid in gently down. I opened the bound leather cover, which emitted a satisfying squeak. I lowered my head to the yellowed pages of wisdom and breathed in that beautiful smell of ink and paper, closing my eyes to better enjoy that deliciously fragrant scent like a fine wine.

“Okay, uhm…”

Oh, yeah, Lyra was right next to me. Blushing and coughing slightly, I turned toward the book, desperately hoping she wouldn’t ask. Damn, she probably thinks I have a book fetish or something.

Thankfully, she didn’t say anything else, although the smallest smirk was detectable in her smile. Not knowing what else to do to break the awkwardness, I read aloud from the book—

“Life is, in its very essence, a pursuit. It is a pursuit of happiness. Everypony desires happiness; it is logically unsound to assume anything different. Sometimes a pony may catch it, other times a pony has it only to have it slip away on a day full of misery. Nopony knows how happiness can be achieved, but everypony wants it.

“The conventional means that most ponies utilize to pursue happiness is to seek power. Power is, essentially, that which allows one to gain control over an aspect of their life in which they are powerless. Power can come in many forms, from political power to money to the dream of eternal life. However, power can never truly equate to happiness, as power is fleeting by its very nature.

“However, happiness can be achieved quite easily. Virtue—all virtue—is knowledge. And virtue is sufficient for happiness. Happiness can come from a belief, a thorough basis of all thought, that is, in itself, a sliver of knowledge. Knowledge brings happiness. Ignorance brings despair. It is that simple.

“Of course, life is never that simple. In fact, the very statement I have just made is a paradox. If knowledge in general is all that is required for happiness, then nopony would be unhappy. We would all live in a paradise of cognitive and emotional bliss. Therefore, I posit that it is a very specific knowledge that brings contentment, an answer to a very specific question—

“What is the Meaning of Life?”

My voice shook as I spoke that last line. It was as if Providence had chosen for this unlikely turn of events to bring me to this point. How many years have I been searching, fruitlessly, for even a hint as to the answer to that question? What are the chances that I would happen to bump into Lyra, who happened to be in the castle that night, to go through a door that just happened to be unlocked, and happened to find this book? If I believed in fate, I would have been quite shaken.

I was shaken anyway.

“Whoa, this is pretty deep stuff,” Lyra commented.

“This is… this is, just… wow,” I stuttered.

“Yeah, I know. We need to take this back and read the whole thing. Who knows what could be in here that ponies don’t want us to know?”

I was still in such a state of shock that I didn’t even groan at her craziness. Despite the oddball reasoning, I agreed with her completely. This was too important to be left sitting in a dark old library. I needed to…

“Doing some late night studying, Twilight?”

My heart froze. I spun around in utter panic. I looked up and gazed into the rose eyes of my mentor. Dear Celestia, this was bad. I sputtered. I didn’t know what to say. So I said the first thing I could think of—

“What are you doing here?” I spurted out. Realizing I sounded incredibly rude, I tacked on, “Uhm, princess?”

The princess wore a sly smile. She knew exactly what was going on; she always did. She was just going to use her usual tactic of forcing me to admit my own wrongdoing. I could see it as if it were written on a script in front of me.

“Am I not allowed to take a stroll in my library?” she responded lightly, “I find that the view of the sky from the balcony in the Starswirl the Bearded section really can’t be matched. I see I left the door unlocked, however.” She eyed me with fake suspicion.

“I, uhm…” Damn, why couldn’t I think of anything to say! Why was this so hard! “I’m… I’m sorry, princess!” I shouted suddenly, my eyes beginning to water, “I was looking for new books that I thought might be interesting, and then I checked the door, and it happened to be unlocked, so I thought I would look around for a few minutes! I wasn’t going to cast any spells, I promise!”

“Oh? You just happened to try the door?”

“Yes…” I lied. I don’t know why, but it would just feel underhanded to implicate Lyra in all this (even if it was her fault). I didn’t really think far enough ahead to answer Celestia’s inevitable question pertaining to the green unicorn behind me.

“I see. Then it must have been you who dropped this by the entrance.”

She levitated an object in front of my eyes. Automatically, I reached out a hoof and took it. It was a very bent silver fork.

“Uh…”

“That’s mine!” Lyra interjected shakily, “I was, uh, going to eat, but, uhm, Twilight said I couldn’t eat in the library, so I dropped it!”

I facehoofed. You can’t fool Celestia even with a good lie.

“And is that why it’s completely malformed? With matching scratches on the door lock?”

“I, uhm, I tripped and bent it against the door,” Lyra offered. Celestia said nothing, continuing to look at her. “Repeatedly.”

“Is that so? I don’t believe you’ve introduced me to your friend, Twilight.”

“This is Lyra—” Crap. What was her last name, again?

“Lyra Heartstrings, your majesty,” she finished for me, bowing with wobbling knees and a sweaty brow.

“A pleasure to meet you, Lyra,” Celestia responded kindly, “However, the castle is currently closed for visitors, I’m sorry to say.”

With a flash of gold magic, she materialized a silver bell and gave it a petite ring. Within moments, a guard dashed through the main doors of the restricted section. Breathing heavily, he saluted. “You called, your highness?”

“Yes, please escort Ms. Heartstrings to the entrance. Hospitably!” she added as the guard’s gaze grew hard.

“Bye, Twilight,” Lyra called glumly as the guard led her away.

“Goodbye, Lyra.”

The princess and I watched as the two left, closing the doors softly behind them. This was it. This is where I get chewed out, cussed out, and kicked out. I would be lucky to be sent back to magic preschool. What kind of fate was in store for me? The dungeons? The moon? Prince Blueblood’s new maid? I shuddered at the last one. I hoped the princess wasn’t that cruel. My heart pounded against my ribs, as it had been doing the past several minutes. I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable battery of disappointment.

“Come, my faithful student. Allow me to walk you back to your room.”

Of course, she was going to make sure I didn’t try to escape. Not that I would try, but it only cemented in my mind the horrible fate in store for me. The princess paused briefly to levitate Starswirl’s book back into its place on the shelf. With that done, we walked back through the door from which Lyra and I entered. The princess paused to seal it with a burst of golden magic, before continuing on. I had to trot to keep up with her casual stride.

“Curiosity is not a bad thing, Twilight. Many of ponykind’s greatest inventions and discoveries were accomplished with nothing more than a healthy curiosity from a single pony. However, when it gets to the point that you attempt to break open a locked door with an eating utensil, you should really reevaluate your priorities. Not to mention getting poor Lyra into trouble as well—”

Oh come on!

“Do you know why I instructed you to stay clear of the Starswirl the Bearded wing?”

“No, your majesty.”

“Twilight, please calm down. You don’t have to stand on ceremony with me, you know that. The reason that that particular section of the library is restricted is that many of the spells there have either proven to be dangerous, or are untested. The specific book you were perusing, Mirror of the Mind, part twelve, how far did you read into it? Were you able to determine why I might have placed it there?”

“I only read a few paragraphs. It said something about knowledge and the Meaning of Life. I don’t know why it’s restricted.”

“Had you read the entire volume, you would have noticed Starswirl’s logic getting increasingly nonsensical. Clover the Clever noted several times in her writings about his insanity. Not that I believe that madness is catching, but he also included several spells of his own creation in that volume. To be frank, I have no idea what they do, but given his mental condition, I’m hesitant to allow them to be experimented with.”

“Didn’t he say what they did?”

Celestia smiled wryly. “It’s been several centuries since I’ve read Volume Twelve, but if I remember correctly, he said it had something to do with discovering the Meaning of Life.”

My heart skipped. “The Meaning of Life?”

“Yes. Starswirl became obsessed with it in his later years. Just before he died, he told Clover that he discovered it. He said ‘the Meaning of Life cannot be explained, it can only be experienced’. She didn’t take him very seriously, considering, and you shouldn’t either.”

Princess Celestia stopped, and I noticed that we had arrived at my bedroom door. I had been so entranced with the conversation, I had not been paying attention to the progress of our walk.

“Twilight,” she continued seriously, “I understand your curiosity, and I promise that when you’re ready, I will allow you to conduct research on the tomes in the Starswirl the Bearded section. However, you still have much to learn. You are not to go back in there without my express permission. Is that understood?”

I internally cringed at her stern tone of voice. “Yes, princess.”

“Good. I expect to be impressed at your exam tomorrow. Good night, my faithful student.”

“Good night.”

Crap. I didn’t get any studying done. If I ever saw Lyra Heartstrings again, I was going to throttle her.

Chapter Two

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Ugh, stupid birds. I peeked my eyes open, the invisible, all-powerful force of sleepiness fighting my efforts. It was still morning, Celestia’s sun just barely peeking through the curtains. Why can’t they learn to leave me alone on test days?

“Spike, go shoo away that bird,” I slurred.

“Uh,” he responded, turning over and pulling the sheet over his head. Damn that lazy dragon.

I pulled myself very slowly, very tiredly out from the spot I had spent all night keeping warm. I slipped out onto the floor, my conscious mind having nothing to do with my quest. The sheet slipped away from my back as I half walked, half crawled to the balcony door and pulled back the curtains. There was no bird; it must have flown away.

Stupid bird. Stupid nature. Stupid sun on this stupid morning.

“Hey, Twilight!”

I walked out further onto the balcony, my eyes squinting in the unbearable light of the disgustingly resplendent morning sunrise.

“Get up, sleepyhead! I want to talk to you!”

I glanced down toward the ground. The last pony I wanted to talk to in the world smiled up at me.

“What?” I murmured.

“I just wanted to apologize about last night,” Lyra called, “I just got so excited about seeing you, I didn’t think about your test or getting you into trouble or anything. It was kind of messed up, and I feel really bad about it.”

“It’s fine,” I mumbled, turning around to go back to bed. Stupid Lyra.

“Wait! I wanted to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Look, I just wanted to make it up to you. I’m playing a sort-of concert tonight down on Mane Street. I was hoping you’d come with me. I want to apologize to you properly.”

I leaned my head against the bannister in exhaustion. “I don’t know, Lyra. I have that test and everything, and I’m probably going to have to do a whole bunch of remedial homework. Just—let me think about it, okay?”

Her smile faltered briefly, before jumping back as wide as usual. “Okay! I really hope you’ll come, it’s going to be a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, okay,” I responded as I went back into my room and closed the balcony door behind me.

I’m usually not that mean, but even the nicest of ponies can turn into a caricature of a foul-mouthed gryphon in the wee morning hours. Okay, I’m usually not that racist, either. I really needed to get myself awake so I don’t show up to my exam a bigoted, foul mouthed student with bags under her eyes. Stepping over the still sleeping Spike, I headed for the shower

Canterlot Castle was one of the few places in Equestria with the extreme luxury of hot running water. Next to the personal library and proximity to my teacher, having hot water was one of my favorite things about my life in the castle. I had spent two entire days coming up with theories about how such a thing would work. I presented my theory of thirty unicorns enchanted the castle pipes every ten feet before the princess. Needless to say, I ended up fairly embarrassed. She, in turn, took me down to the boiler room, where a massive coal fire heated up a tank of water to be transported through the pipes. That was when I learned that the simplest answers are usually the most accurate.

Perhaps that’s why I never talked with the princess about my ideas of the Meaning of Life. I’m sure she knows something about it, but the subconscious fear of embarrassing myself is always crawling in the back of my mind. Asking questions is one thing, but presenting original research is another. I try to make sure I am absolutely correct before presenting such things. I guess it’s just my perfectionism shining through.

I stood in the shower, the warm water washing the sleepiness away, thus washing away the haze on my mind. There were things to do, after all. My test was on teleportation. I had already mastered teleporting myself short distances by then, so I assumed that the test would be on theories. Princess Celestia usually kept the exact questions of the test a secret, which made sense. A test in which one already knew all the questions only necessitates that one memorize the answers. Some things cannot simply be memorized, to be regurgitated at will. Some things require an intimate understanding of its entirety. After all, everything need be discovered before it can be learned.

Like the Meaning of Life. I allowed myself a moment of introspection. Why do I keep coming back to this topic? My mind is usually much more varied and capricious. To have a singular topic dominate my attention was unprecedented. It had to be that book. To have answers dangled in front of me, answers to such a long asked question, no less, was infuriating. I sat down in the tub, leaning my back against the porcelain side behind me, letting the water seep into my mane and down my face. I usually don’t get depressed that easily—angry, upset, and excited, yes—but sad? I have to admit, however, that it was a real blow to my mood to have lost that book. To have an entire library full of nothing, yet just one dusty volume with all the answers! It made me close my eyes and dream of holding it in my hooves.

It would put everything else I learned into perspective. Teleportation can be thought of as a strictly utilitarian spell. It exists to perform a function to ponykind. Same with levitation, conjuration, transformation, and every other ‘ation’ I could think of. What is its real purpose? If ponykind did not exist, what would bring these many different and varied magical facets into existence? Do they only exist to serve us? Do we exist to bring them into existence? The Meaning of Life is the answer.

Sighing deeply, I leaned up and turned off the faucet with my hoof. Even as foul as my mood had turned, I still had work to do. Tests don’t answer themselves, after all. I grabbed the towel and slung it lazily around myself as I reentered the room proper, taking no care not to leave water everywhere.

Aside from the more pronounced glow of the sun into the slightly open curtains, the room was the same. Spike still slept in his bed-basket, the books I had pulled aside yesterday still laid neatly stacked on my reading table, the checklist of things to go over sat unchecked. The grandfather clock in the corner informed me I might not have time to check all the boxes. A damn travesty.

I flopped down on the wooden stool and listlessly grabbed the book on top of the pile. “On Leylines of Non-Living Objects”. Why did I pick this again? Oh yeah, to present theories on teleporting small objects. Celestia, I’m not in the mood to read this. I have entire bookshelves full of books on magic in my room alone, and none of them are the book I want! Why does life have to be so ironic!

Ugh. Chapter One – On Leylines and Magic Flux. I already know this! Next chapter. Heh. I usually never skip chapters, even ones I’ve already read. I’m really in an odd sort of mood today. I shook my head vigorously, trying desperately to clear the cobwebs formed by ancient books and mint green unicorns. Time to study, Twilight, you can do this!

And I did…

…For a little while.

I made it through On Leylines, as well as a generic book on teleportation theory and half a book on early teleportation researchers, but that’s pretty much all the useful studying I did that morning. It turns out I can get pretty distracted when I’m distracted. When I got to the chapter on Clover the Clever’s contributions, I found my mind once again wandering off.

Hadn’t the princess said that Clover wrote about Starswirl’s madness, and his “mad” theories? That could give me something to go on, at least until I was able to get Volume Twelve back.

“Spike!”

No answer. I turned my head back to find him still sleeping. I guess I made him stay up later than I had thought the previous night. With a small pang of guilt, I let him sleep and went to find the desired book on my own. Scanning quickly through the volumes, I quickly found the ‘C’ section, followed by a small collection of writings by Clover—Cratylus, Critius, Euthydemus, and Republic. Not an extensive collection, I know, but somewhere to start, at least. For whatever reason, I reached out with my magic to acquire “Critius”. I’m not sure why, but for whatever reason, that title seemed to speak to me more than the others, even though it seemed to be the thinnest. I cracked it open and quickly scanned the words before me.

It told the tale of an ancient kingdom known as ‘Atlantis’, as told by Starswirl the Bearded and rewritten by Clover. One of the first things that she notes is that the original name was lost to memory, that this was her own name for the place that Starswirl spoke of. It existed in another time, in another place. They had wonders beyond comprehension, and yet were completely destroyed by their own insanity. Clover didn’t elaborate. They were also ruled by…

Humans.

Huh. Maybe Lyra was on to something. Well, on to fairy tales, at least. Clover was famous for writing complete fiction as fact, both to rouse interest and make commentary. That was probably all this was. I marked my page and stretched. I had been reading for quite a while now. So long, in fact, that my stomach was making desperate noises of protest, no longer accepting being ignored. I suppose I should put this book aside for now, get some breakfast, and then do some last minute cramming before my test at nine o’clock.

“Spike, wake up!”

“Uh…” he muttered.

“Come on, Spike, we’re going to go get breakfast.”

He yawned obnoxiously and rolled over onto his back, glancing sleepily up at the grandfather clock. “Twilight, the palace kitchen isn’t serving breakfast anymore. I’m going back to bed. Wake me for lunch.”

My eyes growing wide with fear, I too looked at the clock. Nine thirty seven. Oh crap.

Oh crap. Oh crap! Oh crap! OH CRAP! OH CRAP!!!

“SPIKE! My test!” I screamed, dancing around in circles, mind in a fog.

My checklist. Where is my checklist! It contains all the things I need to do for the test on it, including the location of the checklist of things I need to bring to my exam!

“Spike! Where’s…”

Now fully awake, he waddled over to me, holding a small stack of books, parchment, quills, and the ever-necessary checklist. I grabbed them from his claws with my telekinesis, ripped open the door to my room, and tore down the corridor.

The books and parchment were no longer arranged in an orderly pile in my magic, they were swirling around me as I slipped out of concentration in my handling. Guards and servants alike leapt out of the way of my hurricane of panic. All things left my mind except for how upset the princess would be at my tardiness after the events of last night. Magic preschool suddenly seemed like an entirely too benevolent punishment. The only thing that I could think of that would fit the vast travesty of my crimes was for the princess to have my horn removed surgically. Yes, that seemed the most realistic. I shuddered at the thought. Unless you’re a unicorn—or a stallion—then you couldn’t possibly understand the horror I felt at that moment.

I threw open the doors to Princess Celestia’s bedroom, thoroughly ignoring the vehement protests of the guards on either side as they were flung wildly away, and ran inside. I was then finally able to stop, panting, as all of my supplies collapsed all around me.

“Princess, I… Pri…” I sputtered, entirely unable to catch my breath.

Princess Celestia looked up over her glass of tea with mild amusement. She sat on a very comfortable looking velvet pillow in front of a blackboard.

“Twilight, you’re late,” she noted nonchalantly.

“Yes. I’m so sorry,” I choked out between breaths of air, “I got caught up. With studying. Please. Don’t cut off my horn. I’m sorry!”

“Cut off your horn? Why would I ever do a thing like that?”

“I just… magic preschool, not enough.”

“Twilight, you need to calm down and catch your breath. Come here and have some tea with me.”

I hesitantly walked over and sat down, internally flinching at the punishment that I now knew might not be so inevitable after all. She levitated a teacup over, sitting it down in front of me.

“You don’t have to be upset, Twilight,” she continued, filling my cup, “Yes, you’re late. I had to move around several appointments to make room for your exam today. However, this is the first time you’ve been tardy, so as long as it doesn’t happen again, I’m sure we can all overlook it.

“Now, I believe you have a test to take. Are you ready?”

“Yes, princess,” I lied.

“Excellent. Please take your place at the blackboard. Oh, and by the way, I had to reschedule one of my appointments for my usual lunchtime, so I’ll be taking my lunch now. I hope that’s not a problem.”

I thought I could see the smallest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. Not even a moment after she had said this, my stomach made a sound of grieving over the forgotten morning breakfast. This was not going to be fun.

“Now please write the equations as to how you would teleport a short distance while carrying your teacup,” she instructed pleasantly.

Right, teacup. I took the chalk in my telekinesis, and began writing my base equations on the board. My writing wasn’t quite what it could be, as a combination of exhaustion and nerves dulled my brain. As I got to the variable concerning the reluctance variable of the cup to magic leylines, I paused.

“Princess, you never told me what the reluctance of the cup is.”

“Oh?” she questioned knowingly, raised her eyebrows, “I had thought one of the things we had discussed was how to measure reluctance using a spell.”

Right, that spell. I concentrated magic through my horn and quickly gauged the cup. Nothing. I couldn’t even get a single definite measurement! Why hadn’t I practiced this spell more! I had to come up with something, quick. I knew the coefficient of porcelain was 4.2, and I would guess the overall density of the object to be 0.2, so…

“The reluctance is one point eight inverse horsries,” I stated, perhaps allowing a little too much hesitance to shine through.

“It is?” she questioned lightly, “I have measured it at two point three. Perhaps I need a little bit of brushing up on my technique. Or maybe you forgot the cup was full of tea when you tried to guess without using a spell.”

Crap.

“Right, so, uhm… use the reluctance to calculate the magic flux, then plug that into Mareaday’s law, and…”

“Excuse me for a minute, Twilight,” the princess interrupted, “It appears my lunch has arrived.”

I turned around, and sure enough, a butler wheeled in a collection of platters on a silver cart. He placed them next to Princess Celestia and bowed low. “Anything else, your highness?”

“No, thank you. You may go.”

He bowed again and left without another word. The princess took the lid off of the biggest platter, and a sudden aroma reached my nostrils. Nachos. The princess almost never ate nachos! Those are my favorite! Okay, I was sure of it. She was just doing this to punish me. She wanted to distract me as much as possible so I’ll fail the test. She’s…

“Please continue, Twilight,” the princess instructed nonchalantly, biting into a nacho.

My stomach rumbled even louder. Those nachos smelled sooooo good. Celestia pretended not to notice.

“Okay, and uhm… with the final calculation, I estimate that I’ll need roughly eighteen percent more magic to teleport the cup than just me alone.”

“Why so much? The cup of tea weighs much less than you do.”

“Because, uhm…” I closed my eyes and recalled the books I had read that morning. “Because leylines are more easily concentrated in living things, so you don’t have to use as much if you’re just teleporting yourself. A non-living thing requires proportionally much more.”

“Very well, Twilight. Please demonstrate. Teleport onto the carpet on the other side of the room with the tea cup.”

I gulped. Needless to say, after the events of the previous night and morning, I didn’t have much time to actually practice the spells. I closed my eyes. I felt heat in my horn as I channeled magic through it. I felt the fluctuations of magic around me reach the usual level I used for short range teleportation, then I increased it slightly, letting the flow of magic wrap around the cup and lift it. Cramming my eyes as tight as they would go, I allowed the surge of magic to overtake me. The familiar sensation coursed through my body, like the tingling of a sleeping limb. Purple light consumed my vision as the spell released.

I opened my eyes. I wasn’t in the princess’s room; I was in her bathroom. Crap. Come on, Twilight! You can’t even do one spell right? I looked around the ornate marble room for the object I was supposed to have brought with me. Nowhere. Double crap. I opened the door back to the bedroom and looked over at the princess sheepishly.

She had not moved a muscle, except to look back at me with bemusement. I had failed. I knew it. I couldn’t even teleport twenty feet without messing up!

“Come back over here, Twilight,” she said, “And bring the tea cup while you’re at it. At least that reached its destination.”

I picked up the cup in my mouth, no longer trusting my magic, and walked shamefully over to her. I placed the cup down in front of her and hung my head.

“Twilight, please cheer up. You didn’t fail.”

What?

“…but you didn’t do near as well as you usually do. I would judge your efforts at a C+.”

C+! Having my horn removed would be way too kind. She would probably intend to shave all my fur, place a dunce cap on my head, and sit me on a pedestal in the middle of Canterlot for the rest of my life.

“I’m worried about you, Twilight. Is there something wrong? Are your parents alright?”

“I’m fine, your highness,” I lied, “I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t concentrate today. I was tired all morning. There was this crazy pony throwing rocks at my window this morning.”

“A crazy pony? What did they want?”

“It was that Lyra girl again. She asked me to hang out with her tonight.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her ‘maybe’. I know I should have just said no, but I was really tired…”

“Twilight, that was an incredibly rude thing to say,” the princess scolded, “You really must treat your friends better than that. I’m excusing you from all homework tonight so that you may spend time with your friend.”

“But Princess! She’s not even…”

“I will not take no for an answer. You will go tonight.”

“Yes, princess,” I said, hanging my head in shame for upsetting my mentor.

“I’m actually quite happy for you, my faithful student,” she continued with a small smile, “I was afraid you’d never try to make any friends besides those dusty old books of yours. You’ll find that the magic of friendship is a reward in itself. I do hope you enjoy yourself tonight. Now before I let you go for today, are there any questions for me?”

It was the usual end-of-session question, and I usually asked about clarification of some topic we’d discussed. However, there was a question I had since that morning that I’ve never heard the princess talk about.

“Yes, princess. I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of the story of Atlantis.”

Princess Celestia took a sip of her tea and set her cup back down. “Not for quite a long time,” she started thoughtfully, “It was an ancient empire of non-equine creatures, if I remember. Clover the Clever first wrote about it briefly in her writings “Critius” and “Timaeus”. There was a fad among conspiracy theorists last century to go out and look for evidence of its existence.”

“Did they ever find anything?”

“No, of course not.” She smiled. “It’s just a legend, after all. It did dominate the culture for a while, however, so I suppose that makes it real, in a manner. There was even a popular folk song taken directly from “Timaeus”. No, I don’t quite remember how it goes,” she finished, correctly guessing my next question.

“Thank you, princess.”

“May I wonder why you would ask of it?”

“I just… came across it in my readings.”

“I see. Remember, Twilight, that dwelling on the past, or the future, for that matter, is never a productive use of the short time we have. Always keep in mind the life in front of you, on your friends and your family. It’s good to know history, but not to live in it. Were there any other questions?”

“No, that was it.”

“Then I suggest you go get some lunch; the kitchens just opened, if I’m not mistaken. Then you should let Ms. Heartstrings know that you intend to accompany her tonight. I hope to hear of your evening when I see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, princess.”

I left her chambers feeling utterly exhausted, and I had a whole night of being fake and pretending to enjoy myself to look forward to. At least for now I could fill my very angry stomach and get a good nap. Then maybe I could finish reading Critius before wasting my time out on the town.

Chapter Four

I was freaking out. I had gotten little sleep the night following the outing, or the hanging-out, or the catastrophe, or whatever you want to call it. I knew that Heartstrings girl was trouble. She made me disobey the princess! That most devilish little book currently sat underneath my mattress, boring into my back and contributing to my insomnia. I didn’t dare remove it from its hiding place, though, as some irrational fear drove me to feel that exposing it to the open air would somehow call a legion of stone-faced soldiers to drag me to the dungeons. Princess Celestia would probably deliver the execution notice herself, tears of disappointment in her eyes. I could forget about being her student, at the very least.

I took a deep breath. Okay, Twilight, you need to calm down. Remember what the princess told you—you need to take control of your anxiety. Such a task sounded ridiculously futile. I turned over restlessly and stared at the orange halo around the curtains. Sunrise. So the princess is awake. A surge of panic spurred my heart into overdrive. Somehow it just made my inevitable doom seem all the more tangible.

I was letting my panic build up again. I closed my eyes. Time to think logically. What would Clover the Clever do in such a situation?

Clover would try to organize her thoughts. She once said, “To digest the events of the past is always inferior to anticipating the events of the future.” Therefore, checklist. Right. I’d have to make this one on my own, as I don’t really want to have to burden Spike’s consciousness about this.

I jumped out of bed and my legs almost gave out from under me. I quickly righted myself, but they remained shaky and weak. I could feel the bags under my eyes drooping in protest, even as my dry eyeballs darted around nervously. My body protested my lack of restful sleep even as my mind protested my lack of meaningful action while lying in bed.

I sat down at the desk and grabbed a piece of parchment and quill in my magic. Across the top I wrote “TOP SECRET”. Below it, I titled the document “Twilight Sparkle’s List of Possible Ways That She’ll Escape a Cruel and Early Death”. That seemed descriptive enough.

After about an hour of brainstorming, I had come up with the following possible courses of action:

Beg the princess’s forgiveness.
Remove evidence with fire
Bury book

~~4. Present Lyra Heartstring’s horn to the princess on a silver platter~~

Return book at night

By the time I had finished my list, the sun had fully risen, bathing the room in light. As comforting as that would be to most ponies, and even me under most circumstances, it merely caused my dry eyes to cry out in pain at the overdose of happy sunshine. Sighing heavily, I turned my chair so as to have my back turned toward Celestia’s ball of blindness.

I looked back toward the list and thought, even if my mind wasn’t quite up to its usual capacity. Item one was impractical. Even in the off-chance the princess forgave me, I would be getting Lyra into massive trouble. Not that I felt any sort of loyalty to her, in fact I was quite upset. I just… I don’t know why I was trying to protect her. She’s definitely getting a piece of my mind later, in any case.

I couldn’t bring myself to execute the second action, either. As much as I didn’t want to get into trouble, the death of knowledge was something I could not bear to become a part of. Besides, this book contained all the answers I’ve been seeking for so long…

No, no, no! I grabbed my head in my hooves and shook it violently. Princess Celestia said that this book is nothing but trouble! I told her I wouldn’t read it! I’m sure that there’s a book in the regular library about the Meaning of Life that I’ve overlooked. I’m sure somepony else knew the answer. I’m sure that somepony would give me a solid answer instead of that usual self-righteous, vague, optimistic crap.

Yes, I know I’m deluding myself. No, I’m not going to acknowledge that right now.

That leaves “bury book” and “return book”. Both of them involved some risk, as I would have to carry the book out of my room at night and hope nopony saw me. The disadvantage to burying it was that if the princess ever decided to look for this book, she would come to me, and I’d have to explain what happened anyway. That and the whole “destruction of knowledge” argument. I sighed. I guess returning the book was my only option. The only problem was that I’d have to break into the library, which I had no idea how to do. I would have to get Lyra’s help on this. How did she even get it in the first place?

Then again, there was always a fifth option, just keeping the book here and reading it. How bad could it be, really? After all, it’s just a book. It’s not like it can just reach out and grab my sanity. If there were spells, I just wouldn’t cast them. I would just skim through it, find out the Meaning of Life, and then I could figure out what to do with it.

Those are dangerous thoughts you’re having, Twilight Sparkle, a more rational part of my mind told me.

Princess Celestia said that knowledge is a valiant pursuit in itself. Even Clover said, “Knowledge is the food of the soul.”

She also said, “Knowledge becomes evil if the aim be not virtuous.”

Oh, shut up, me. The book’s safely under my mattress for the time being. I can’t do anything about it today…

What about telling the princess?

Shut up! Both Lyra and myself would get into huge trouble! I’ll just go about my day and think on it. Speaking of, what time was it anyway? I shot a glance at the clock. Breakfast would be in half an hour, but I wasn’t hungry. However, something played at the edge of my mind that something was supposed to be happening at breakfast…

I groaned and banged my head against the desk. I had promised the princess that I’d tell her about last night. Ugh. What was there to say? That it was stupid and boring, but I got kissed…

Oh. That had happened. I could feel my face heating up. I had forgotten about that part what with the whole stolen book fiasco. What was up with that crazy mare, anyway? Just bugging the Tartarus out of me and then stealing a kiss at the end like that? Maybe I should just leave that part out of this morning’s report to the princess. No time to really think about it now; it was time to give a “friendship” report.

Wow, what a stupid name. I’m going to have to think up another term in case I’m ever forced to do this again. I shoved my list into my desk drawer and placed the quill in its repository.

“Spike! Breakfast!”

“Ugh,” he replied, covering his head with his blanket.

I didn’t really expect him to go, but I had to ask. At least then he wouldn’t have to hear about my stupid night. I sighed. Time to face the music.

Even walking as slow as I reasonably could, the royal dining room approached entirely too quickly. The guards on either side bowed their heads slightly in greeting as they magically opened both doors. I uttered a guttural “thank you”, far from my usual cheery greeting, but they did not seem to notice. I took a deep breath, and slowly traipsed into the room.

Princess Celestia sat at her usual position at the head of the table, silently sipping her tea. To my surprise, there were no government bureaucrats hurriedly spouting off a report, as was the breakfast norm. Instead, my brother stood at her side, talking quietly. As I entered, he spun around and smiled, while the princess only looked up from her tea.

“Twily!”

“Hey, Shining,” I replied as I took a seat next to the princess.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, kid. How come you never stop by anymore?”

“Well, I’ve been really busy with my research… Not that it’s too much!” I added hastily, abashedly looking toward the princess.

“And you’ve been doing a very good job with it, Twilight,” she remarked.

I blushed slightly.

“You should still come see my new place sometime. I’ve got…”

“Lieutenant,” Celestia interjected, “I believe you were about to see to the security preparations?”

“Oh, yes, of course, your highness. Feel free to say ‘hi’ sometime, sis.” With that, he saluted the princess and left through the door I had come in through.

“What was that about?” I asked, my worry temporarily pushed aside.

“I’ve placed Lieutenant Armor in charge of the security for next week. Equestria is expecting a very important visitor.”

“Really? Who?”

“There’ll be plenty of time to discuss that matter later. In fact, Princess Cadance will be holding a meeting with you concerning your role in the visit.”

“Cadance?”

“Yes. But we’ve other matters to discuss.” A smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth as she set down her teacup. “How was your night?”

I gulped. In my frenzy to decide the fate of the pilfered book, I had completely forgotten to prepare for the princess’ questions concerning Lyra. “Um, just fine.”

“What did you too end up doing?”

“Well, we went to a bar, where there was a talent show, of sorts. Lyra played a song on the lyre; it was very beautiful. Then she took me to the coffee shop where she works, and then we came back. And, uh, nothing else happened. That was it.” I offered a forced smile, hoping against hope that she would be satisfied with the answer. I should have known better.

“That’s all?”

“Yes, princess.”

“Was she a good kisser?”

My heart fell through to my feet. “What?!”

“Something you should remember, my faithful student, is that the front entrance is the most watched area of the castle, and rumors travel quickly.”

“I… She… Did Shining tell you?”

“I believe that he is not aware. I overheard two guards discussing it. Don’t worry,” she said, responding to my dismayed look. “I instructed them that they should not be spreading rumors. I know how jealous older brothers can be.”

“I didn’t really think that it was a date,” I lamented, “And then she just kissed me… Out of nowhere!”

“Do you share any feelings for this mare?”

“No! I… I haven’t thought about it. I’m not really the romantic type, princess.”

“Have you made plans to see her again?”

“No, but I have a suspicion that I will.”

“Then you should decide how you feel about her. If you’re not interested in ‘seeing where it goes’, so they say, you should tell her. It doesn’t mean you still can’t be friends. Did you want some breakfast?”

Oh yeah, that’s what we were here for. I cast a glance down at the ornate, yet empty, plate before me. “I’m not very hungry.”

“Very well. I suspect that the kitchen is quite used to sending food to your room for the many times Spike has missed breakfast, in any case. You can always request that they send some for you later if you change your mind.” She looked at the clock beside the table. “I should go see my chief of staff before the Day Court opens. Is there anything you wish to report about your studies?”

“I…” What should I say? Maybe I should just tell her about the book right away. I mean, it’s not like I had any control over the situation—it was all Lyra’s fault. It’s not like I really cared what happened to her, stupid filly. I could just give the book back right now. The princess did promise me I could read it when I got older. Everything would fall into place for me, like nothing had happened. If Lyra got arrested, that was her own dumb fault. Maybe I should write a pro-vs-con list for both decisions? Lyra would do fine in prison, right? Alone, hungry, having no music to play, crying…

“No, your highness. Nothing today.”

“Oh? That’s most unlike you, Twilight. Then again, I suppose you did have a rather eventful evening. Very well, I’ll take my leave. Will you be in your room for the rest of the day?”

“Probably.”

“Then I’ll send Cadance to discuss the diplomatic matter with you soon. Have a good day, my faithful student.”

“Thank you, princess.”

Princess Celestia and I left through opposite doors. I trudged my way back to my room. Why had I lied to her? I’ve never lied to the princess before. The thought was etching a deep trench of guilt into my psyche. Lyra had a lot to answer for. I mean, I was interested in learning too, even if it wasn’t anything as ridiculous as humans, but I would never break the law to learn. It just seemed so…contradictory to the whole idea of learning. Knowledge was supposed to make ponys’ lives better.

I arrived at my room and threw open the door. I was not at all surprised to see that Spike was still sleeping, his blanket pulled over his head to block out the morning sun.

“Spike, get up! We have to clean for the princess.”

“Huh? The princess is coming?”

“Well, a princess. Princess Cadance is stopping by, and this room’s a mess!”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled. He sat up slowly, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and looked at the disaster area that was my room—an unmade bed, over a dozen books that needed to be sorted, and a stack of parchment that was in desperate need of filing. “Is that it?”

“It? Don’t you see the mess?” I gestured wildly at the unsorted parchments, “Cadance doesn’t want to see a haphazard pile of books, or an unmade bed! What would she think of me? Besides, I’m way behind schedule do to last night’s debacle, and the books are due to be reshelved!”

“Twilight, I don’t think…”

But I wasn’t listening. I concentrated my magic, and dumped all the books on the floor. With an ecstatic smile that could only come from the joys of organizing, I trotted up to the nearest pile and picked up the book on top.

“’Telekinetic Effects and Applications’. That goes under 531. ‘Intermediate Potions for the Practical Alchemist’ is 663. Isn’t the Dewey Decimal System wonderful?”

“Why can’t we just put them alphabetically? It’d be so much easier.”

“Spike, that’s just silly. Why would a librarian organize their books in such an imprecise way?”

Spike shook his head in reply. He stumbled over to the bookshelf on the other side of my room and lazily started throwing books back on the shelves. I frowned.

“Spike, you have to make sure that they’re put in the proper place.”

“They were already in the proper place. I’m checking all the labels, see?”

“But you have to make sure it’s labeled properly. We could have made a mistake when we did it last time.”

Spike shook his head again and muttered under his breath, but at least he started looking at the books a little more.

“Just be glad you don’t have to do an entire library. It must take them days to reshelve their books every month.”

“Twilight, I don’t think they do this every month.”

“Of course they do!”

I levitated the stack of books from my desk and deposited them on top of the pile. I lifted the first one up and looked at the cover. I froze. Mirror of the Mind, XII. Why wasn’t this under my bed? As my heart once again burst through my ribs, I desperately waved the ancient volume at Spike.

“Spike! Did you take this book out?”

“I’ve never seen that book before in my life. You were the one who just took all the books out, remember?”

“Oh yeah.”

I really needed to calm down; I was starting to lose my mind. The book de-shelving spell I had come up with dropped all the books in the room onto the floor. I needed to be careful of that, as I hadn’t quite figured out what I was going to do about this whole fiasco yet.

Hmm…

Well, just because I haven’t figured out what to do with this yet didn’t mean I couldn’t properly organize it, right? I wonder under which category it would even be classified? In the interest of proper organization, I cracked open the cover and leafed through the yellowed pages, coming to the point where I had stopped earlier.

“What is the Meaning of Life?

“Such a question, indeed, stems from the crying indignation of a mortal species. Why are we here, if we are just going to die? It seems a cruel punishment from whatever gods or incarnations of fate rule this universe. It is a question that has plagued me ever since I starting thinking about philosophy, which is, in essence, trying to come up with a logical structure to the ever-changing miasma of our existence. How can we, as a species, come up with such a varied amount of possibilities, yet not one single concrete fact?

“At first, I thought that the Meaning of Life was something simple, something I alone could solve. I thought that it is the spread of knowledge, the teaching of wisdom to another. It is with this belief that I turned the Great Forum from a place of religious ceremony into a place of secular wisdom, with no weapon other than logic. I gathered followers, the most promising of which was my student, Clover. I suppose that the spread of the forms of wisdom I have founded is the greatest achievement I have borne. But is it the Meaning of Life? Such a conclusion doesn’t seem logically sound. It is not wholly comprehensive enough in its scope.

“I am working on a spell, the most powerful and dangerous spell ever devised by ponykind. I cannot teach myself the Meaning of Life, so logically, it must be taught to me by another. I must learn it from the oldest and wisest being in the universe. It is a spell so dangerous that I have encoded it so only the wisest of unicorns may travel down the same path.

“Here is wisdom. Let him who hath understanding reckon the spell of eternity, for it is a spell forged by ponykind. It is—”

“Am I interrupting something?” a voice called from the doorway. I jumped a foot into the air.

I looked toward the source of the interruption. Cadance was standing there, looking with some bemusement toward the haphazard piles of books that lined my room. I set down Volume XII with some annoyance after my panic subsided. Why is it that the act of finding the answers I’ve been searching for my entire life must always be interrupted? Well, I suppose it’s not Cadance’s fault. I forced a smile on my face.

“Not at all. It’s great to see you Cadance!”

“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake!”

We both giggled at the childishness of our ritual, but we exchanged a friendly embrace nonetheless. There was definitely something comforting in not forgetting the childish things, but embracing them in community with trusted others.

“Twilight! It’s been sooo long. How have you been?”

“Oh, just the same as I’ve always been. You know, learning magic from the princess and doing research. How about you?”

“Well, I’ve very busy. Princess Celestia’s decided that I’m old enough to preside over the domestic court. It’s usually nothing exciting, just listening to ponies argue about how much they hate how their spouses leave the toilet seat down or spend all their money. It’s really rather dull.”

I giggled. “Yeah, who needs romance?”

She looked at me slyly. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I actually tried to come see you last night, but the princess informed me that you were busy going out with another pony…”

“It wasn’t anything like that! We just… went to a show, and then a coffee shop. It was really rather boring.” I looked up at her desperately, an awkward smile plastered across my face. I could tell she wasn’t buying it. Stupid Princess of Love.

“Oh? Just coffee and a show? Was that your idea or his?”

“Hers.” Damn it!

Cadance raised an eyebrow. “Really? I suppose we now know why the highly desired student of the princess has never had a coltfriend…”

“Cadance! I’m telling you, it wasn’t a date! I mean, yeah, there was this point at the end… but that’s not important! She’s just a crazy filly who’s got some kind of school girl crush or something. I don’t know what’s going on.” I finished my tirade with a blush and a stomp of the hoof.

“Twilight, I’m just joking!” Cadance laughed. “I think it’s great that you’re starting to interact with others more.”

“…wasn’t my choice…”

“Don’t be too hard on her. It can be difficult when you have a crush, especially if it’s on a pony as well-known and unapproachable as you. It must have taken a great deal of fortitude to even muster up the courage to talk to you.”

“Yeah, or craziness.”

“Talking to other ponies doesn’t make you crazy, Twilight.”

“Maybe. But being crazy makes you crazy.”

“How is she crazy?”

“She just… I don’t know.” I racked my brains to come up with a good example. “Did you know she believes in humans? She’s practically obsessed with them!”

“Humans? What’s that?”

“I’m not exactly sure, but they’re these hairless things that walk on their hind legs and make crazy inventions. She says they died out or something. Apparently some of the classical philosophers wrote about them.”

Cadance smiled knowingly. “Well, as I’m sure you know, the classical philosophers liked to exaggerate. As far as being obsessed with something, I think you know exactly how that might feel.”

She took a poignant look at the pile of books surrounding my room, and I responded by giving her an abashed look.

“Anyway,” she continued, “Princess Celestia asked me to tell you about the upcoming diplomatic visit, since she’s really busy this morning.”

“Yes, she mentioned it.”

“What did she say?”

“Just that some important pony was visiting, that you were in charge of it, and you needed my help.”

“Well, almost correct. It’s not a pony; it’s the Dalai Llama.”

I felt panic rising in my chest. Who in Tartarus was the Dalai Llama?! Did the princess tell me about him before? How could I forget? “Oh no, I completely forgot who that is! Hold on a minute, Cadance, I’ve got to do some research real quick.”

Dalai Llama, Dalai Llama… Where would I even find that? Maybe in Unabridged History of Equestria? Why the hay did I have to reshelve now?! It’ll take forever to go through all these!” I shouted and expletive and spun around, ready to leap to my pile of books. However, before my mad dash, Cadance laid her hoof on my shoulder. Only a thought in an instant kept me from batting it away and throwing myself onto my books.

“Twilight, calm down! That’s why Princess Celestia sent me here, so I can explain all of this to you. You probably wouldn’t have come across the Dalai Llama by reading books in the library.”

I looked toward her with shock. “The library’s never failed me before. There has to be a book about him there.”

“There might be. But the library, and all of Equestria really, contains mostly Western books. The Dalai Llama is from the Far East.”

The Far East? Memories of reading atlases came flooding back. “Yes, I know where the Far East is. The Dalai Llama is their ruler?”

“Well, in a manner of speaking. For now, you can think of him as the Far East’s version of Princess Celestia.”

This revelation exploded into a sea of possibilities in my head. I revered the princess above all others. She was wise, and powerful, and compassionate. The idea that there was another in the world like her absolutely blew my mind. I had to know more.

“A version of Princess Celestia!? What does he do if the princess raises the sun? The wind, or the ocean currents, maybe? Is he also immortal? I have to know Cadance!”

I finished my torrent of questions with a shortness of breath, my crazed eyes looking desperately at Cadance for answers. This would cause most ponies to worry for my sanity or their lives, but she was used to my rabid reactions when denied knowledge.

“Calm down, Twilight,” she sagely urged, “I’m not an expert on the Dalai Llama—I’m only telling you what Princess Celestia told me. In fact, I have some research to do, myself. If you want to know more, you should ask her. Or better yet…” A twinkle formed in her eyes as her lips curved into a smile. “Why don’t you ask him when he gets here? The princess wants you to be his guide while I’m busy with court.”

My eyes lit up. “Really? The princess wants me to escort an all-powerful being? Oh my gosh, I have to make a list of questions right away! Do I have time? When is he arriving?”

“In about a month. Knowing the size of your lists, I would advise starting now.”

I leaped to my desk and threw a blank piece of parchment upon it, my quill poised to etch out a massive list.

“I’m kidding. I swear, sometimes I’m afraid you’ll work yourself to death.” She glanced toward my clock. “I’ve got to get to another appointment. We should do lunch sometime.”

“That sounds nice. Out of curiosity, what kind of appointment are you going to?”

Cadance suddenly acted very shifty, scratching the back of her head and furtively looking away towards the wall. “Oh, you know, just another thing…”

“What kind of thing?”

“I’ve, uhm… I’m going to see your brother about the security arrangements for next month. The princess has put him in charge, you know.”

“Really? Wouldn’t that be up to the Captain of the Royal Guard?”

“Normally. I guess my aunt’s got something else in mind. Anyway, good seeing you.”

She quickly retreated from my room, curiously still fidgety. How strange. I only spent a moment in curiosity, however, for I had other things to be doing, and my studying was already behind schedule. Where was that lazy dragon? I scanned the room.

Sleeping, of course.

He couldn’t sleep when we had books to sort! I opened my mouth to wake him, but a feeling coming from the back of my mind prevented me. I cast a glance at the forbidden book sitting on top of the pile.

I suppose we could resume when he woke up.

I spent a few minutes studying the structure and layout of Volume XII. There were only four chapters, and the last one was mostly written in the Classical language. It would take some time to translate it, and I still had studies with the princess to do, after all.

Heh. “Studies with the princess”. What a quaint thought. Learning to levitate, learning to teleport, learning the theory of magic. Those were all well and good, I suppose. Theories and basics were always important in any discipline. After all, the most complex magic and science is always rooted in the most basic ideas formulated by the Classical thinkers, just as the most complex mechanisms is made of an assortment of pulleys and levers and other simple machines. But the scale of magic I was learning before just seems so pointless compared to the arcane secrets inscribed in this tome. I mean, yeah, I can teleport from one place to another a short distance away, but why? Why does magic flow through pony-kind in such a potent way? Who gave us this gift, or was it simple chance? Why am I here? Does it matter if I can teleport, if I don’t know why? What purpose does the travel serve if I don’t know the destination? The answer to these questions stood tantalizingly closer to me than they ever have, and it burned at my curiosity. The gateway to a revolutionary new understanding of magic in life stood before my eyes.

Can you imagine what it’s like, to have something eat at your mind, never to be satisfied, and yet have the answers sitting in front of you years later? I cursed the pile of books that sat a few yards away. I hated the accursed checklist taped to my desk, taunting me with reminders of all the things normal life demanded I accomplish. For the first time, I lamented that I didn’t write in any free time for myself that I could use to study this new subject. Normally such a thing would drive me crazy. After all, a well-organized life left no wasted time to be spent making oneself dumber with feckless entertainment. I looked toward my stupid list for today, made weeks in advance, my eyebrows furrowed in hatred.

7:00 – 8:00 Wake up, morning routine
8:00 – 9:00 Breakfast with Princess Celestia
9:00 – 12:00 ~~Study chp 9 – 15 of~~ Potion Catalysts Reshelve (n. moved forward from previous day’s schedule
12:00 PM – 1:00 Lunch
1:00 – 2:30 Write first five pages of Rough Draft 2 on essay, “The Budding Field of Chemistry”
2:30 – 4:00 Supply outing (see addendum 13 for list of materials needed)
4:00 – 6:00 Free studying
6:00 – 7:00 Dinner
7:00 – 8:00 Practice multiple levitation
8:00 – 8:30 Preparation for lesson with Princess Celestia
8:30 – 9:00 Lesson with Princess Celestia
9:00 – 10:00 Prepare for bed
10:00 – 10:05 Drift into sleep
10:05 – 7:00 AM Sleep (See next day’s schedule for activities hereafter)

It was a pretty lax schedule, typical for a weekend. However, it was the item at four o’clock this afternoon that caused my eyes to light up in excitement. “Free studying”. My lips silently formed the words amidst a smile. There was no way I could have known when I made this schedule a month ago that I would be in such dire need for free study. I really should give Past Twilight a pat on the back. Four o’clock couldn’t come fast enough.

On the other hoof…

There’s nothing that said I couldn’t rearrange the schedule, right? With a mischievous smile, I took out my seldom-used jar of red ink. Dipping a quill in it, I made some quick changes. Reshelving got moved to 4:00 and shortened by an hour. Free study got moved to now and lengthened. Dinner was canceled and replaced by free study. As I participated in the grave sin of schedule modification, my eyes took on a look akin to a daemon, and I grinned with malevolence as I finished murdering my parchment with red ink.

It was done.

I taped my bleeding new schedule back in its proper place, satisfied at the hours of free studying I had squeezed out of an otherwise crowded day. In some respects, I felt the burning nag in the back of my head of the horribly unorthodox and unplanned atrocity I had just committed. On the other hoof, it felt delightful. The open rebellion against my nature was a thoroughly symbolic victory, for it illustrated my willingness to travel new paths, if only to myself. It would be the start of a lifelong fight, pitting my newfound intellectual rebelliousness against my obsessiveness and compulsiveness.

Little could I have guessed, but both sides of myself would win in the end, and I would lose.

Chapter Five

“There exists a cave. Inside that cave were many ponies that were chained to a wall. Their heads were constrained by chains and bars that forced them to look ever forward, towards a blank stone wall. Behind these ponies was a raised platform behind which a great fire burned. Beings walked in front of this fire, beings carrying representations of things of many shapes and sizes. The great fire cast their shadows onto the wall in front of the chained ponies. This was all they ever saw throughout their entire lives.

“The chained ponies had little else to do than speculate on the nature of the shadows cast upon the wall, for that was all they knew of the world. A few of them were very clever, and they found patterns in the shadow, which allowed them to predict which shadow would come next, and what it would do. These ponies won great acclaim from the other chained ponies, and were greatly respected.

“One day, the chains on one of these ponies came loose. This pony was able to get up and witness his environment in its entirety. He saw the great bonfire, the figures walking in front of it, and the shadows they cast. Intrigued, he made his way toward them, but was distracted by a light coming from a tunnel nearby. He turned his attention toward the light, and went through the tunnel.

“When at last he exited, he was amazed by the sights he saw. There was an enormous ball of light in the ceiling that seemed to expand ever upward. On the ground was green grass, and small animals chirped and flew around him. He was amazed that the world was so much bigger than he could have ever imagined during his life in chains. He came to understand that there was a meaning to life, a meaning that one could not see until enlightened. He took pity upon his former comrades, and proceeded back into the cave to inform them of his incredible discovery.

“When he reached them, he excitedly recounted his tale to them—of the bonfire and the shaped figures and the outside. They scoffed at his tale, and those who had gained notoriety through their understanding of the shadows dismissed him as a madman. So that they might see what he saw and be amazed at the complexity of life, he freed many of them from their chains.

“They promptly proceeded to murder the enlightened one, and locked themselves back into their chains, eager to resume the life of which they had become accustomed.”

Mirror of the Mind, XII, Chapter β

The streets of Canterlot were busy today; everypony was trying to finish their Sunday shopping in preparation for the coming week. Unfortunately, it was no different for me. Of all the things on today’s schedule, this errand and the princess’ lesson were unavoidable. Therefore, I took this time away from Volume XII to analyze what Starswirl was trying to tell me. At least, I did when stupid shopping didn’t get in the way. I tucked some newly purchased quills into my saddlebag as I looked toward my assistant.

“What’s next on ‘Addendum 13’, Spike?”

He looked down at an unfurled roll of parchment in his claws. “‘Two bottles of Windigo ink. Hey Twilight, do you think we can stop by Donut Joe’s on the way back? I’m starving.”

“I don’t want to spend all day on this errand…” He groaned as I looked up at the position of the sun. “…but I suppose we can make the stop if we hurry.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

He took off in an eager jog, and I couldn’t help but smile as I fell in behind him. He waded through the crowd of ponies in the cobblestone street as easily as a cat might slip through a herd of slow moving elephants. It was quite hard to keep up with him, for I was a much bigger being with a lot less maneuverability. The aristocratic ponies around him huffed and looked daggers at him as he brazenly maneuvered around their legs, causing a slow of traffic in his wake which made it much harder for me to keep up. After a minute of trying to walk as quickly as possible while apologizing for Spike, I gave up. Canterlot wasn’t a dangerous city for a young dragon, and Spike knew exactly where the ink store was. I allowed myself to slow down and think as I walked. There was always time for thinking.

The last passage of Volume XII that I read was a parable. I had spent all of my scholastic effort in calculating the world as a set of numbers. The success of the growth of a tree can be quantified by scientifically determining the role of every factor, such as watering quantity and frequency, soil nutrition, and so on. That tree is simply a number, albeit one that is enormous. This is my world—a world of fact and evidence. This is not the world of a parable. You can’t calculate a parable, and this made its message unusually difficult for me to discern.

The parable concerned a group of ponies in a cave who had never been outside. One of the ponies gets loose and sees the outdoors. He decides to free the other ponies, but instead of seeing what he was talking about, they kill him and re-chain themselves. I just don’t get it. Obviously I’m supposed to be siding with the freed pony, since the other ones commit murder, but what does this have to do with the Meaning of Life? Was it even intended to illustrate the Meaning of Life, or was it just another of Starswirl’s ramblings? Honestly, at this point it wouldn’t surprise me—there were a lot of rambling passages in that book that went nowhere.

I spent the entire morning studying Volume XII. It’s unlike any other book I’ve ever read. There are only four chapters, and the last one is entirely in the Classical language, which I can’t read without a dictionary. The existence of such a chapter was rather confusing to me. Why would the translator translate only three-quarters of the work when he made this version hundreds of years ago? If this is the New Equestrian translation, a language that’s been around for approximately seven-hundred years, how about older translations? What was the point of publishing an incomplete work? Perhaps the answers lay in the ancient language in the tome. I would have to ensure to add “Acquire a Classical-Equestrian dictionary” to my schedule tomorrow.

“Excuse me, but aren’t you Twilight Sparkle?” a voice called out.

I turned toward the sound of the question to see a smiling stallion staring at me with manic eyes. I instinctively backed away. Damn it, I was too busy for this.

“Uhm… yes?” I asked.

“Celestia, I can’t believe it! I was kind of hoping to run into a celebrity in Canterlot, but I can’t believe you’re actually here, in the street like a normal pony!”

“I’m not really a cele…”

“You’ve got to let me take a picture with you! My buddies back in Vanhoover won’t believe me otherwise.”

The stallion began inching toward me, and I quickly became unnerved at the desperate look he was giving me. I unconsciously backed away, only to have the unwelcome guest inch ever closer.

“Uh… I’m actually really busy,” I responded desperately.

“It’s okay, it won’t take long,” he insisted as he removed a camera from around his neck. There was no way I was getting out of this. I could feel myself sweating and my breath getting shallow—I was in danger of a full-on panic attack.

“Fine. Please hurry up.”

I didn’t think it possible, but his unnerving smile grew bigger. “Can you take the picture, seeing as how you have magic?”

Groaning in disgust and shaking with discomfort, I quickly grabbed the camera. The stallion grabbed me in a most inappropriate way, wrapping his hooves around me and hugging me to the point that I almost couldn’t breathe. He stunk of sweat and beer. I snapped the picture, paying no mind to composition, or even to focusing the image. I flung the camera at him and he let go of me to catch it. With his attention temporarily diverted, I fled.

After catching the camera and securing it around his neck, he looked around in wild confusion. I heard him call after me, but I couldn’t hear him over the desperate beating of my own heart. Why did I have to send Spike ahead? As lazy as he could be sometimes, he was certainly protective. Why didn’t I have the social courage to tell this stupid stallion to piss off? I needed help, and there was none to be found. Maybe I could find a royal guard somewhere.

As my chest tightened from my abnormal exertion, I slowed to a trot, breathing heavily. To my horror, I heard the thundering sound of hooves behind me. I turned in panic to see the stallion chasing me!

“Twilight, wait!” he called, “I want to ask you something!”

“Go away!” I huffed as I pushed my body back into running. It protested with a renewed dose of pain. If only there was anypony nearby…

I rushed through the streets of Canterlot, desperately pushing passed any pedestrians that got into my way. From the affronted yelps coming from behind me, it appeared the stallion was doing the same. I paid no attention to where I was going; I was simply choosing the paths of least resistance. I was no longer in the genteel central shopping district, but neither was I in a seedy part of town. The ponies that I ran past in this sector didn’t wear the huffy clothes of the aristocracy, but were naked like an average citizen. They looked toward me in concern, but were so off-put by the display that they merely watched in confusion as I escaped the demented stallion.

I soon found myself almost completely out of breath. My panic managed to push me further, although my body was quickly rebelling. Why couldn’t I have taken up occasional exercise? This was by far the most I had ever exerted myself. I no longer paid any attention to where I was, for my brain was completely deprived of its usual quota of oxygen. Suddenly, my rear hooves no longer had the energy to lift themselves off the ground. I tripped with massive forward momentum, scraping across several feet of asphalt as I ground to a halt.

I tried desperately to catch my breath, but no matter how much air I breathed in, my body screamed for more. I looked around to see where I had landed. I was next to a white fence, which surrounded the dining area of a small café where several of the patrons eyed me curiously. The sound of galloping hooves screeched to a stop next to me, and the stallion to whom they belonged breathed heavily before addressing me.

“Wow… that was a hell of a workout. How did you know I loved running? We should totally do that again sometime.”

“Hgn… Nnh…” I replied.

“So anyway, I was wondering if you’d like to do something tonight? I heard there was a really good restaurant over by where you took that picture of us together.”

“No…” I breathed, my lungs screaming at my attempts to form words, “Go away.”

“Oh, come on! Please, just a quick date. Just one! You gotta give this to me, Twi; I’ve never dated a celebrity before. My friends back home are going to be jealous.”

So this is how it’s going to end. I’m going to be molested by an insane pony in front of a bunch of café patrons. He grabbed me with his hooves to lift me off the street, and I feebly tried to brush them off, but I was simply too exhausted to do anything except lay there. This is exactly why I never associated with anypony—they’re all crazy. At least I was able to make it this long without succumbing to the crazy of the common pony. I laid there, helpless, his diseased hooves on my fur, trying to pull me to my hooves.

“Hey! Get your dirty hooves off of her!”

I turned my head toward the direction of the voice. My accoster did the same. A mare was storming out of the café, past the ponies seated in the dining area. I couldn’t see who she was over the white fence, but I could hear the anger in her voice.

“Hey, shove off, lady,” the stallion replied nervously, “This is between Twilight and me.”

“I happen to know Twilight wants no part of this. So you better turn tail and run, before I get really angry.”

The stallion hesitated. He took his hooves off me and back up slightly, uncertainty in his eyes.

“NOW!” shouted the mare.

That seemed to be enough for the stallion to make up his mind. “This pony is crazy, Twi. I’ll meet you at the place you took that photo at eight. I can’t wait!”

With that, he turned around and trotted off, occasionally glancing back and smiling at me. If I had the energy, I would have puked. A pair of gentle hooves wrapped around me and lifted me into a sitting position. I looked up at the face of my savior.

Lyra.

Damn it, why’d it have to be Lyra!? I felt incredibly divided. On the one hoof, she did save me from that crazy pony. But on the other, she’s crazy herself. I didn’t know whether to be thankful or flee.

“Are you alright?” she asked, concern etched on her face.

“Yeah,” I breathed, “Just exhausted.”

“I imagine so. Can you imagine the nerve of that pony, accosting the princess’ student? I should notify the guard to arrest him.”

“No, it’s not his fault he’s crazy.”

“Are you sure? Who knows what he might have done to you.”

“Just… I’ll deal with it. I’ll tell the guard to meet him at eight and tell him to leave me alone.”

Lyra shrugged. “If you think that’ll work. It’s lucky that you thought to come here.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but then shut it. It was actually pure luck that I came to Lyra’s coffee house. I didn’t have the wherewithal to flee anywhere in particular. She didn’t need to know that, however.

“Yeah. You think I can get a drink of water?”

“Sure,” she smiled, “Be right back.”

She went back into the building as I leaned against the fence. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the mountain air evaporating the sweat off my fur, cooling me more effectively than any magic could. Maybe magic itself exists in something so serene…

I scoffed at my own thought. What sentimental bullcrap. At least my brain was working again. When she returned, I gulped down the cold glass of water with a ravenous thirst. As the liquid poured down my dry throat, I found strength to stand up. All of my muscles were still aching with exhaustion, but I was able to walk again.

“Lyra, I… I’m not really good at this, but I guess you saved me, so… I don’t know. I think I’m supposed to say something, but…”

“You’re trying to say ‘thank you’?”

“Yeah, that works.”

“You’re welcome,” she said happily.

“So I guess I’ll be going.”

“Actually, my shift is ending. You want some company?”

“Uhm…” How was I supposed to say this? I didn’t want any company, especially company of the crazy variety, but then again, she just saved me from crazier company. I didn’t want to be rude, but I just wanted to go home and forget this happened.

“Great!” she replied without waiting for a proper answer. She pranced back inside to deposit her work apron, leaving me with the awkward choice of trying to run before she got back or waiting for my doom. Well, my Lyradoom, anyway. I don’t think that’s a word. It should be a word.

Before I had time to mentally prepare myself, she returned. “I’m back! So where were you off to all alone, anyway?”

“I was going to get some ink.”

“Well let’s go there, then!”

We started off at a slow walk, my muscles protesting with every step.

“So what’re you doing after you buy ink?”

“I don’t know,” I responded mechanically, “Spike has the sched—Oh no! I forgot all about Spike! He went ahead to the ink store. He must be worried sick!”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Twilight. Let’s get going. Lead the way.”

I did as she asked, though not without a mild groan. Of all the ponies in Equestria, the last one I’d want to go anywhere with was Lyra Heartstrings. Okay, I take that back. The last one would be that insane stallion. Lyra would be second.

Then again, there were a few things that I’d been wanting to talk to her about. Not that it would be worth “hanging out” with her, or whatever it was called, but since I was already here, I might as well address the elephant in the room. Well, more than one. Multiple elephants.

“Hey Lyra, could I ask you something?”

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

“A couple things, actually. First off, what was the big idea giving me a forbidden book?! Is finding out about humans really worth getting me thrown in prison?!”

She flinched at my words, which were admittedly a little harsher than I’d intended. Maybe it was just days’ worth of frustration coming out. She drooped her head slightly and looked at the ground. I started to feel a little bad.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” she said, words filled with pain, “I thought that you’d like to see it again. You seemed really excited about finding it. I wasn’t thinking about my interest in it at all, I promise. I just wanted you to be happy. I guess it was a pretty dumb idea.”

I sighed. I was starting to feel pretty guilty about my outburst. “I didn’t mean to yell, it’s just that I could have got in a lot of trouble if the princess found out about it.”

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t really think about it. Breaking the rules usually doesn’t bother me that much, but I didn’t realize that you could get thrown in prison for a book.”

“How did you get it, anyway? Did you find another copy?”

“Actually, I broke into the restricted section.”

“You what?!” The ponies that had been enjoying their shopping stopped to stare at me. I blushed and lowered my voice. “How did you even do that?”

She smiled slightly under her expression of regret. “Well, when the guard escorted me out that night, I turned around and went back to the archives. I remembered that Celestia had forgotten to close the balcony door before she left with you. I just got a ladder and did a little break in, human style. I unlocked the library door from the inside and tried to go to your room, but your door was locked. So I just left it in the bathroom instead.”

“I can’t believe you did that. One of the palace maids might have discovered it while cleaning the bathroom.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think the whole thing through very well. I was just trying to help you out.” She shot a glance over at me. “So do you want me to put it back?”

I thought about this. Admittedly, that is what I wanted most a few days ago—an easy way to get rid of the book without destroying it. However, my great curiosity for the Meaning of Life and Starswirl’s experience with it had slowly morphed my intentions. Then again, the obedient and cautious side of myself had been battling with my obsessive studiousness. I knew that keeping the book was wrong, and the war that my mind waged on itself was starting to wear on my peace of mind, and now was the time where I had to make a choice for one direction or another. Chances were, if I declined Lyra’s offer now, there might not be another chance for me to get rid of the book. I thought back to my mental self-discussion earlier in the day. It truly was a war between my new intellectual rebelliousness and my old desire to keep all things orderly and right. I was compelled to choose a side in this war.

“Actually, Lyra, I’m going to keep the book. I’m upset that you were so risky, but I guess I can forgive you. It’s really an interesting read. I guess that when all is said and done, I’m happy you got it for me.”

For the first time since the subject was broached, Lyra broke into a full smile. “Really? I’m so glad you feel that way!” She reached over and gave me a repulsive hug, stopping me in my tracks. I felt a blush rise onto my cheeks, and as soon as she let go, I looked away so as she would not see my face and misinterpret what the blush meant. The situation reminded me of the other time I had felt so awkward around the unicorn, which was the other thing I had intended to speak with her about.

“There was actually something else I wanted to ask you about…” I started hesitantly. She looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows, her smile intimating friendliness. I tried to think of a way to phrase the question without offending the pony that had just saved my life. “Do you remember what happened the last time we met?”

“You mean the talent show?”

“No, I’m talking about what happened when we parted at the palace.”

“Oh.” She looked away from me, a blush rising onto her own cheeks. I felt my own face heat up once again, and we both looked resolutely away from each other. “That was kind of…a spur of the moment thing. I’m really sorry if I upset you; I didn’t intend to.”

“It’s…” I was about to say “It’s okay”, but I found myself stopping. Was it really okay? If I said such a thing, would it give her the idea that I was okay with it, in that I liked it? Would she start randomly kissing me, even at the most inappropriate of times? It was obvious that I would have to choose my words very carefully, lest a crazy love-stricken mare start embarrassing me in public. “Just make sure I expect it next time.”

I facehoofed. Great job, Twilight, just great. That was literally the worst thing you could have said! I chanced a look at Lyra, to see what her expression conveyed. Surprise. Definitely surprise.

“Yeah, sure thing Twilight. Again, I’m really sorry about just springing that on you. Anyway, which way now?”

I was about to tell her that I had not intended to say what I did, but I decided to listen to King Solomane’s advice, and close my dumb mouth before I said something else stupid.

I shifted my attention to our surroundings to find that we had reentered the shopping district. The crowds were once again congesting the streets, and we had reached a large intersection. I trotted to the left with Lyra in my wake. Before long, we were hopelessly stuck in traffic. We quickly found ourselves staring straight into the rump of a rotund aristocratic mare, and no matter how we tried shifting our position, we could not get around her. To add insult to injury, she often stopped in our path to talk to some stuffy noble or another, resulting in several close calls where one of us would almost walk straight into her plot, face first. As much as it wore on my patience, it was something to be expected when walking around Canterlot in the middle of the day. One could not expect to live in the city and expect to not have to deal with traffic. I huffed an exhausted sigh and resigned myself to tread behind the mare. Lyra, however, had a different idea.

“Excuse me!” she shouted at the women. She quite obviously heard her, but chose to ignore the lesser-classed pony behind her. Lyra rolled her eyes and took a deep breath to shout louder. I covered my ears. “HEY FAT LADY!”

With an indignant huff, she turned around to face us. “Excuse me?” I knew I should have been embarrassed at my acquaintance’s rude manner, but all I could think about was how relieved I was to be able to look at something besides her fat flank.

“I said, we’ve been trying to get your attention for five minutes. Please move aside so faster pedestrians can pass you.” Lyra stomped her hoof to finish her statement.

“Well I never…”

“Then you should start. Please move.”

“Of all the…” The noble shifted her gaze from my companion to me, and her eyes lit up slightly. “Miss Sparkle! I apologize, I didn’t recognize you. You really should choose better company—this ruffian is most improper. If you are free this coming Friday, I have a charity event at the Bridle Street Auction Hall. I would be most appreciative if you made an appearance.”

“Twilight doesn’t want to have anything to do with you or your stupid auction,” Lyra interjected. Turning to me, she said, “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

As the aristocrat blustered, Lyra grabbed my hoof and pulled me away from her. Once we were a good distance away, I looked toward her.

“You didn’t have to be so rude, you know.”

She shrugged. “It’s the only way to get those snobby types to listen to you. Did you really want to go to her charity auction?”

I shook my head. “No way.”

“That’s what I thought. You really should be more assertive.”

“I know, it’s just that interacting with ponies I don’t know is really uncomfortable for me.”

“It’s okay; that’s why I’m here.”

“Yeah, thanks.” As much as I find her unbearable and crazy, Lyra can really come in handy sometimes. After all, I would have spent an hour walking behind that mare and I wouldn’t have had the ability to turn down her invitation (although I probably wouldn’t have shown up). That’s not to mention Lyra saved my life from an insane pony earlier (at least, a more insane pony). Maybe if I could skirt around her unnatural attraction toward me, I could see myself talking to her again after this—about Classical academia, I mean.

“Is this the place?” she asked, pointing toward a small building labeled “Quill Ink and Pasta Sauce”.

“Yes, this is it. Come on, Spike’s probably already inside.”

We entered the shop through an old wooden door situated between two dusty window cases containing an array of different inks and ink-based pasta sauces. Behind a counter directly in front of us stood a stallion, behind whom was an enormous selection of various inks in pristine bottles. Lining the walls on either side of the store were jars full of black sauce, noticeably less new. On a red velvet chair sat my assistant, who until we entered, was chatting amicably with the store owner.

“What happened, Twilight? Did you get lost?” His eyes moved to my companion. “Oh, I get it. Your maref…”

“Spike! It’s not like that!”

Lyra giggled and nudged my side. “Relax Twilight; he’s kidding. What’s up, Spike?”

“Nothing much. Mr. Sepia here was telling me about his family’s annual squid ink festival.”

“That’s right,” the stallion behind the counter added, “It’s held every year in Baltimare. You won’t believe all the culinary uses ponies have thought of for squid ink. I mean, there’s squid ink jelly, squid ink salad, deep fried squid ink…”

“Sounds lovely.” I cut him off, my stomach turning.

“It is! It’s actually going to take place in August, if you would like to come.”

“Oh, it sounds nice, but…well, I’ll think about it.”

“I really hope you attend. Anyway, Spike’s already picked out the ink you’ll need. It will be twelve bits, please.”

I paid him and Spike deposited the ink and my checklist into my saddlebags. We bid Sepia good day and exited his very bizarre store.

“Was that all for this trip?” I asked my assistant.

“Yep. I believe somepony promised me some donuts?”

“Yes I did. Lead the way.”

He ran off with youthful enthusiasm, leaving Lyra and myself to smile knowingly and trot after him. The clientele of the streets of Canterlot changed with the setting sun. While earlier, rich patrons trotted along to chat and gossip and shop at the luxury stores, now ponies in evening dress congregated in preparation for their nightly repast. As a result, our path became noticeably less crowded. In a few minutes, Spike waddled his way into the front door of Joe’s Donuts, and the two of us followed in right behind him.

“Spike, what’s up?” called the eponymous owner of the shop, his back turned to us as he tended the fryer.

“Nothing much, Joe. Just get me the usual.”

“Yeah, no prob.” Joe turned his head, noticing Lyra and myself before turning back to his task. “Hey Twilight. You ladies want anything?”

I glanced over the menu hanging above the counter and followed my usual routine. After carefully consulting a mental Venn diagram of the choices, I selected a cinnamon donut.

Joe lifted the fryer basket out of the oil and attached it above the fryer before turning around to give us his undivided attention. “How ‘bout you, lady?” he asked, addressing Lyra.

“I’m good, thanks.”

He shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat. It’ll be a few minutes.”

The three of us took seats at a booth near the window, Lyra sitting across from the two of us. The restaurant wasn’t too busy this evening. It must have been due to the fact that we were lucky enough to come during a lull in customers. If the empty display cases and Joe’s feverish cooking were any indication, we had come just after a rush of patrons.

“So what are you doing after this, Twilight?” Lyra asked.

“If I remember my schedule correctly, I have some free studying time until dinner.”

“That sounds cool. What’re you studying?”

I bit my lip—I didn’t want Spike knowing about Volume XII. Ignoring the question, I levitated a quantity of bits into Spike’s claw and nudged him toward the counter. It would be a few minutes until the donuts were ready, but that should be enough to talk about the book. After ensuring that he was out of earshot, I turned to Lyra.

“I’ve been reading the volume you stole,” I whispered, “But I don’t want Spike or anypony else knowing about it.”

“Whatever you say, Twilight. I don’t particularly want anypony to know I took it, either. So what have you found out? Anything about humans?”

I shook my head. “No. Actually, it’s not quite what I expected. Starswirl hasn’t said anything particularly profound or noteworthy. The first chapter was about general philosophy stuff. He talks about the Meaning of Life a little bit, and what it means, but mostly stresses that one cannot be told the Meaning of Life, that it must be experienced. I’ve only just started the second chapter, but it starts with a parable about ponies in a cave.”

She furrowed her brow. “That’s weird. I was kind of hoping…”

“Hey girls, I’m back,” Spike called to my right. I turned and saw him carrying a platter of a dozen donuts. I scooted over and rolled my eyes—I had only ordered one.

“Thanks, Spike,” I said, in spite of myself, “Any change?”

“Yeah, five bits.” He reached out to hand the money to me.

“You can keep it,” I said with a smile, “You deserve it for all the work you’ve done recently. Dig in.”

“Thanks, Twilight!” he said as he began to obliterate the tray of food before him. I picked up my cinnamon donut and bit into it. Lyra watched us in mild interest, mostly directed at the two-legged food disposal performing his function next to me. As I finished my snack, she looked toward me. Her front hooves were fidgeting in front of her, and her eyes spun around in nervous glances. She opened her mouth to speak several times, but closed it before uttering a word. With little effort, I could determine what was currently ailing her. Shortly after finishing my donut, Spike was finished consuming his entire tray.

“Spike, how about you start heading back? I think there’s something Lyra and I have to discuss.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, sure thing.”

If anything, her fidgeting increased at this statement. A bead of sweat developed on her brow as the front door bell rang with Spike’s exit. I turned toward her, hooves meeting on the table in front of me with a serious look on my face.

“Lyra, I can see that something’s bothering you. I want to help, and if there’s something you need to tell me, I promise I will listen to the best of my ability.”

She gasped and stared at me wide-eyed at that statement. “I—I’m that obvious?”

I nodded seriously. “I’m afraid so. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; we all go through this at some time or another.”

“Even you?” she asked with surprise.

I smiled knowingly. “Yep, even me. You show all the signs—shortness of breath, sweating, fidgeting in your seat, nervousness around me. You’re suffering from dysentery.”

Her jaw dropped. “What?!”

“Lyra, don’t deny it. You show all the symptoms. If you’d like, I can recommend a very good doctor…”

“I don’t…”

“Please. What else could cause nervousness like that? If you need to use the restroom, I…”

“I DON’T HAVE DYSENTERY!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. In an instant, the other ponies in the establishment stopped their conversation and turned toward us. Donut Joe stared at us mid coffee pour, causing the cup to overflow. She dropped low into her seat, a blush burning furiously on her face. I looked at her with pity—some ponies just couldn’t admit their issues as well as I could, I guessed.

“Twilight, I don’t have dysentery,” she whispered, “I was trying to ask you if you’d like to meet up later tonight.” As soon as she uttered this statement, she slammed her hooves over her face in unbearable embarrassment.

“Really? Well, I don’t know; my schedule’s kind of full.” I magically rummaged through my saddle bags for the aforementioned schedule, only to realize in disappointment that Spike still had it.

“Well, maybe you can hang out later tonight?” she tried meekly, “After all, Hoofley’s comet is making its pass over Equestria, and I was hoping you’d like to see it with…”

I slammed my hooves against the table and threw myself into a standing position, my eyes wide in panic. “Hoofley’s comet?! Did you say Hoofley’s coment?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh dear Celestia, how could I have forgotten? Why didn’t I schedule this? You don’t understand, Lyra, I can’t just reschedule this evening! I did that already!”

“The comet isn’t supposed to pass by until about eleven thirty,” she reminded.

“Eleven thirty?” My thoughts flew by my consciousness in a flurry of half-formed jumbles. Did I have anything planned for eleven thirty? I know I didn’t use to, but I couldn’t remember how I had altered it. Did I plan free-study for then? Could I just move that to tomorrow? It would mess up tomorrow’s schedule, but then again, Hoofly’s comet only passed by once every seventy-five years. It was a horrible conundrum, but even in my panicked state, I knew what the correct course of action was.

“You’re right, Lyra. Studying the comet is something that needs to be done.”

Her look of uneasiness quickly turned into one of the widest smiles I’d ever seen. “Thank you so much, Twilight! I was kind of worried that I went too far when I kissed you the other day, so thanks for looking over that. Uhm…is this one official? I mean, we were just kind of hanging out the last time we went out, and I was kind of hoping…”

“Official?” What did that crazy mare mean? “Yeah, I guess so.”

She jumped out of her seat and pulled me into another one of those insufferable hugs. I patted her on the back awkwardly, and she let go far too late for my tastes. I had no idea why she wanted it to be official, but if putting “Watch Hoofley’s Comet” on my schedule made her happy, then I guess I could do it.

“I can’t wait for tonight!” She beamed at me. “Should I meet you outside the castle gates at eleven?”

Wait, was she expecting me to do this with her? Did she even have a background in astronomy? “Lyra, do you even have a telescope?”

“Nope.”

I sighed in exasperation. “Alright, fine, I guess I can lend you one of mine. Just don’t be late.”

“I won’t; I promise.” She gave me another hug, mercifully briefer, and pranced out of the donut shop.

How come I always attract all of the crazy ponies?

Author's Note

Chapter Six

I had sent Spike to the library to pick up a Classical language dictionary. Letting my intense curiosity get the better of my tendency to be methodical while reading a book, I skipped ahead to the fourth chapter, the one that wasn’t translated. The translator’s note at the beginning of the chapter only served to whet my desire to read it in full. It was only a paragraph long, but it read thusly:

“The infamous chapter four of “Mirror of the Mind, Volume XII” is presented in its original form. Starswirl the Bearded originally transcribed this final chapter while in prison for defiance towards the unicorn council. His protégé, Clover the Clever, claims to have visited him in his cell the night before he was to be executed, where he gave her this volume and her now-popular moniker, “Clover the Clever”. According to Xenopone, the most reliable historian active at the time, Starswirl the Bearded refused the help of his followers to escape, but nonetheless vanished before the morning. Legal records verify his disappearance. In the opinion of most contemporary historians, Starswirl probably did escape from prison, and Xenopone concealed this fact to shield the perpetrators.

According to Clover, Starswirl claimed that this chapter revealed a “spell, the most powerful and dangerous spell ever devised by ponykind”. Due to its claimed dangers, he wrote the spell in code so that only the wisest of ponies could attempt such a spell. He claimed that this spell reveals to its caster the Meaning of Life.

“To date, nopony has successfully translated this chapter.

“Εάν είσαι σοφός, πεθαίνουν άγνοια…”

To say that I was excited would have been an insultingly primitive description of my ecstasy—there were no words that were adequate. I shook with anticipation in my chair even after reading this simple description for the dozenth time. I would get around to finishing the first three chapters, the rest of my studies be damned. I was so close to the secret of the Meaning of Life. The very utterance of some combination of the Classical letters written in front of me was all it would take. The sheer proximity to such an expansive and conclusive solution left me giggling.

I didn’t forget the plans I had with Lyra that night, but they were far from the fore of my thoughts. It was six o’clock, and I had hours to try to work out this code. Already my brain was overloading itself with possible ways that Starswirl could have codified it. It probably wasn’t simple substitution, or somepony would have figured it out by now. It would have to be in a manner that anypony, in any time period, could determine. That it stayed a mystery for so long testified either to his genius, or his madness.

While waiting for Spike to return, I let my mind wander to all the possibilities that this spell might contain. Would it be something that makes its caster wiser? After mulling over that possibility, I dismissed it. If it allowed somepony to simply understand the Meaning of Life, then that pony could communicate its secrets to others. Starswirl was very adamant that the Meaning of Life was something that could not be taught. If it couldn’t be taught, then how would one learn it? Perhaps it allowed a pony to think at a plane of cognizance that normal ponies can’t fathom. I fantasized about such a level of wisdom.

Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn master of knowledge. Ponies would look back at my life hundreds of years from now and marvel at the incredible level of thinking that I would do here one day. Of all of Princess Celestia’s students over the years, I would be the one that rose above the petty ideas of academic understanding through friendship. It would be Twilight Sparkle the Sagacious that led Equestria to a new period of understanding, a new golden age of science and intelligence. Those pupils preceding and following would be relegated to the history books, a meaningless name in an appendix. Forgotten.

As I could very well be.

I sighed. The truth was that I was not special in any way. I may study. I may learn and memorize and recite more than most other ponies now, but I wasn’t the best. I was simply the one that caught the princess’s eye through a sheer act of luck. After I was gone, I might be remembered fondly by those ponies I knew, until they themselves died. Then the only mark I would have on the world is a fleeting memory in an alicorn’s mind, to be replaced in affection by a student who proved themselves greater and more noteworthy.

Does the Meaning of Life not have something to do with lasting through the ages? Such a universal theory of life seems pointless if it leaves one pondering on death and the eternal. To understand the underlying fabric of the universe, even if the idea is nontransferable, would single me out among all ponies save for Starswirl, and would undoubtedly lead to comprehension and acclaim. After all, he is remembered thousands of years after his death as the greatest unicorn mind to have ever lived. I dream of such an honor, of such a legacy. If it took the rest of my life, I would decode this goddess-forsaken spell!

“Hey Twilight. Here’s the book you wanted,” Spike said as he returned from the library. I spun around in my chair to eagerly take the dictionary from his outstretched claw. “What’re you reading?”

In panic, I attempted to quickly shove the four hundred year old book under a pile of parchment, but in my haste it fell off my desk entirely. “Heh, heh. Nothing. Just a stupid fiction novel.” I smiled at him, a smile I was too late to realize was exceedingly manic. I tried to laugh to lower suspicion, but the laugh came out strange and guilty.

He raised his eyebrow, but didn’t pursue the subject. “Uhm, okay then. It’s dinnertime. You coming?”

I shot an uninterested glance at the clock. “No, I need to do some research. You go ahead. In fact, go ahead and take the rest of the day off.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t had anything since we went to Joe’s.”

“It’s fine, Spike; I’m not hungry.”

With a shrug, he left to go to the dining hall and I had the rest of the evening in silence to try and decode the book. I gingerly lifted Volume XII off the floor. With a grimace, I realized that I had bent one of the pages. Great job, you idiot. A one of a kind book, by Starswirl the Bearded no less, and you had to go and desecrate it. Not that it was perfect as it was; it was perfectly clear from its condition that it was a very old book. I laid it on the desk with reverence and meticulously tried to flatten out the page I had damaged. With rising panic, I quickly came to realize it was a fruitless endeavor. Trying very hard to enact the breathing exercises the princess had taught me, I shut the book and pushed it aside. I pulled open the Classical dictionary Spike had brought and tried very hard to push the bent page out of my mind.

Might as well learn about the basics of the language if I’m to try to decode a phrase written in it. I pushed my mind to study the “Introduction” chapter. There are 24 letters in the Classical alphabet, which the Equestrian language borrows from. These letters are α, β, γ, δ, ε, ζ, η, θ, ι, κ, λ, μ, ν, ξ, π, ρ, σ, τ, υ, φ, χ, ψ, and ω. Alpha to omega, beginning to end. Each of these letters were borrowed and modified to form the Old Equestrian language, which was the language used when Princess Celestia was born. As Old Equestrian slowly morphed into the New Equestrian language over the course of hundreds of years, it brought those traditions with it, forming the basis of all current thoughts.

The number system, however, was fairly primitive compared to the modern one. While we use the ten numerals that were invented by the Saddle-Arabians, the Classical numbers were the same as their letters. In fact, any word could also be a number. For example, if I saw μου, it could mean the word “me”, or it could be the letters added together. That is, μ+ο+υ, or 40+70+400, or 510. Yes, the numbers could be multiplied by powers of ten depending on their place in the alphabet. What a horribly complex language to make a code out of! I could see why the spell had remained undeciphered for so long.

I spent the next several hours studying the language as thoroughly as I could, ensuring I took detailed notes and adjusted my future schedules to accommodate these sessions. Of course, I wasn’t putting off decoding the chapter. The two tasks would have to be accomplished simultaneously. I had waited years for the Meaning of Life; I didn’t want to wait any more than I had to.

With these thoughts in mind, I did what I do best—studied.

And studied.

In a matter of a few hours, I had learned about Classical syntax, a few vocabulary words, some idioms and mythological references. It was harder than I had studied in a long time, but this was different from my usual work. It was towards a goal, a goal that was infinitely more important than my usual study of math, or science, or magic. It was about philosophy, about life itself. I dipped my quill back into my quickly-depleting ink jar in preparation for further notes.

“Twilight, do you know what time it is?”

Groaning slightly at being interrupted, I glanced over toward the door, where Spike had just entered with his arms crossed. I looked at the clock to reply. “It’s eight thirty-five. Why?”

“Yeah, eight thirty-five on a Sunday. Don’t you have a lesson with Princess Celestia?”

His words took two seconds to register with my brain. And then it exploded.

“Oh dear Celestia, NO! Spike, I haven’t even studied! Quick, go tell Celestia I’m coming. I have to get my quills, and my parchment, and…Spike! Where did I put the books I had sitting out for the lesson?”

“I think we reshelved them.”

“Oh no. No no no no no no no! Spike, find the books. I’ve got to get to the princess!”

Throwing a quill, some parchment and my open bottle of ink into my saddlebag, I rushed out my door without even bothering to put it on. I shoved past a maid, knocking her to the floor. I didn’t care—she wasn’t at risk of being sent to the moon for being late. She wasn’t the only casualty, either. Maids, guards, nobles and diplomats all either moved aside or found themselves sprawled upon the ground. For the second time in two days, I found myself barreling through the princess’s bedroom chamber, trying to swallow just one substantial breath.

“Prin….pr…I…uh.” I collapsed, my saddlebag that I had been floating beside me dropped to the marble floor, spilling its contents of ink soaked quills and paper.

Princess Celestia merely set down her cup of tea and looked toward me with concern. With an effortless burst of magic, she had cleaned the ink and rubbish off the floor and teleported my saddlebag away. She picked up my exhausted body and laid me, panting, on a cushion opposite her. It was incredibly ornate, filled with pegasus feathers and covered with indigo velvet and gold threading. And I was sweating all over it. I didn’t have the strength to protest either way.

“Twilight, I’m very concerned about you. You’ve never been late to a lesson before this week.”

I tried to slow my breathing so I could respond. “Princess, I’m sorry. I lost track of the time.”

“That is understandable. Even I lose track of time on occasion. That isn’t my only concern, however. Spike told me during dinner that you’ve spent all your time reading since our last lesson. Have you not practiced the teleportation spells as we discussed?”

“No, your highness.” I hung my head in shame.

“He also told me that you’ve been very reclusive and have barely talked to him the past several days. Twilight, if there’s something wrong, I would wish for you to tell me. If I can do anything to help, I will.”

As her lilac eyes gazed into mine, I could see nothing but concern and love in them. I couldn’t stand it; I looked away. Truth be told, I almost confessed everything to her. About the book, about my obsession, about Lyra and everything. My old nature started to get to me. Heh. My old nature—trying to please the princess, trying to learn everything she thought important, trying to stay on a set schedule. Everything had been so orderly throughout my entire life. It was like an old friend trying to welcome me back.

But even as my mind began to travel down the path of unbosoming and familiarity, I allowed myself to follow through on the thought. What would happen then? I would have to give the book back. Princess Celestia would probably lock it away. I would be chastised, and the princess would be disappointed with me, at best. I don’t know if anything would happen to Lyra, but she definitely wouldn’t be allowed back on palace grounds. Nopony would ever get the chance to hear Starswirl’s final words, and his dissertation on the Meaning of Life would be lost.

The Meaning of Life. Was such a thing worth risking my lifestyle on? Was a master philosophical answer on that which ties all living things together worth betraying my mentor’s trust?

“I’m sorry, princess. I haven’t been feeling well lately, so I haven’t really been up for practicing new spells. I’ve been trying to read instead.”

She raised an eyebrow at me, an eyebrow that told me that she completely saw through my lie. It probably wasn’t that hard—lying to a pony you idolize above all others for the first time is something that even the skilled cannot easily accomplish. And I was far from a skilled liar. After the fact, I was painfully aware that I avoided eye contact and shifted nervously on my damp pillow.

“Very well. There will be no lesson today. I hope you feel better, my faithful student.”

“Thank you, Princess.”

“Is there anything you’d like to talk to me about instead?”

I was about to answer in the negative, eager to get away from her suspicion and back to my study. However, earlier thoughts had hardened into a concrete desire for an answer. “Princess, how did you become immortal?”

She raised her eyebrows. “And where did that question come from?”

“I was just curious.”

“Well, I will start off with the fact that I am not actually immortal. Nothing lasts forever, Twilight, and I am no exception. It is true that my lifespan is longer than that of many ponies combined, but I am not invincible. Of that, I am sure.”

“So you’re going to die?”

“Yes, although I don’t know when. It could be centuries or millennia from now. It may even be longer. Why do you ask, Twilight?”

“I don’t know… I guess I was just curious about it. You never answered my question, though.”

“I suppose I didn’t. The truth is, I’m not entirely sure how I came to be what I am now. I have some ideas, of course, but I prefer not to encourage idle speculation. In the end, it doesn’t matter, so long as I am here to care for my little ponies.”

I stared down at my hooves, not willing to look at the princess while I addressed an issue that had been bothering me for a long time. “Will you remember me?”

The princess looked shocked. “Remember you? Of course I will, Twilight!”

“But you’ve had so many students over the years, experienced so many things, met so many ponies…”

I heard the sparkle of my mentor’s magic, and I looked up. At first, I couldn’t figure out what spell she was performing, but after a moment, I saw a very old book being levitated down from her bookshelf. It landed in front of me, and flipped open to a charcoal drawing of a unicorn stallion.

“This is Saint Equinas,” she explained, “My very first student. I found him, living as an altar boy, before I had even come to be princess. He was very invested in learning, and spent every waking minute studying the works of the classical philosophers. In a way, his dedication to learning was much like yours. After his studies under me were complete, he went on to become a very influential figure, even becoming a saint after his death.”

“If he was so influential, why haven’t I heard of him?”

The princess sighed. “While his work in philosophy were very remarkable and influential at the time, they have since been superseded by other ideas. His ideas have faded over the course of history, but his legacy as a diligent worker and a good friend remain.”

My eyes opened wide in horror. What a terrible fate for someone whose forte is knowledge! To strive for perfection, for greater meaning, only to have that work to later be declared out of date… Such uselessness is worse than death.

Not noticing my dismay, she flipped through the pages of the book, each with a drawing of a pony. “All of these ponies were my students, and they all have a special place in my heart.”

She turned to somewhere in the middle of the book. The right page was blank, but on the left was a color drawing. It was a drawing of a photograph, one that was very familiar to me. It was a photograph of myself and the princess, the first one taken of us after I had become her student. I had a beaming smile upon my face, incredibly proud of what was my recent appointment, while the princess gave her usual warm smile, her wing wrapped around me, as it was now.

“I drew this picture, like all the others in this book. Not all of my students have gone on to accomplish great things, but all of them held a special place in the hearts of those around them. So will you, Twilight, for the rest of my life.”

Despite all of the apprehension surrounding the events of the last few days, such tenderness from my mentor melted my heart. I jumped off my cushion and hugged her. With a foreleg, she pulled me into her soft, white fur.

“I will always be here for you, Twilight. If you ever need help, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you for being there.”

"I'm always here, Twilight."

We stayed like that for several minutes and for once, I didn’t mind wasting time. Simply having somepony that cared for you, no matter what, was so absolutely calming for those moments spent close to her, For those few minutes, I forgot about the desire to discover the secrets of the world.

However, the curse of an active mind is that when it is not constantly put to use, it will find something to think about. At first, my thoughts dwelled on love and belonging, but as I laid next to Princess Celestia, they slowly shifted to concentrate on that which bothered me earlier. Was Equinas a parallel of my possible fate? Would I think that I had discovered the Meaning of Life, only to have ponies hundreds of years in the future find an answer that fit better? Was all of this just a fruitless pursuit to a pointless victory?

No, I reassured myself. Starswirl also got a lot of things wrong, but ponies still remember him. I still have many years left, time enough to perfect my discovery, so long as I decode the book in a punctual fashion. I couldn’t allow time to slip away in the empty pursuit of social catharsis, like Equinas had.

“Thank you for making me feel better, princess, but I think I’m going to go back to my room.”

“Very well, Twilight. Remember that my door is always open."

I pushed myself up on very sore legs and turned around to exit the room. Before I had even reached the door, I heard the princess call after me.

“Twilight, what’s your schedule like in the near future?”

“Tonight I’m going to be watching for Hoofley’s comet. Besides that, just studying. Why do you ask?”

"Cadance will be talking to you, probably in a week's time or so, about the upcoming diplomatic visit. I wanted to make sure that you had no other pressing concerns. By the way, the Canterlot weather team has cleared away all the clouds for stargazers tonight, so you should be able to see it clearly. And…you don’t have to see me only at our lessons. We can still spend time as friends.”

I smiled. “Of course.”

“I hope you feel better, my faithful student.”

“Thank you, Princess.”

I exited her room, my conscience continuing to scream at me for my deception.

Hoofley’s comet is a pretty interesting phenomenon, not only for its regularity, but for the philosophical ramifications it has. For example, this will be the first time I’m seeing this particular piece of rock, and I won’t see it again until I’m very old and wrinkly. I could write a schedule for the day that it will appear, seventy-five years from now. It underlines the issue of the predictability of our lives, and I can think of no other event that is quite so fit for this. What else can I be sure of when that time comes, on that day? I know the princess will still be doing what she has been doing for a thousand years. I know that my parents will be dead, and probably my brother, too. Fate is a funny thing, such a funny thing.

For the first time that day, my train of thought was not dominated by Volume XII, though the impact of the Meaning of Life on something as simple as Hoofley’s comet did register some academic thought, I suppose. I spent the rest of the evening after the non-lesson studying the Classical language. It was a simple task, and that can be relaxing on a hectic mind in itself. When the clock rolled around, I placed two portable telescopes into my saddlebag that the princess had teleported back into my room earlier. I also stuffed a star map, a dissertation on the comet, and after a moment’s thought, some snacks. Magically hoisting the bag onto my back, I made my way out of the castle.

The passages were surprisingly empty for a night as important as this. I had assumed that everypony from the princess to the lowest maid would be out watching the comet, whether or not they had telescopes. Perhaps they had simply egressed to the garden before me? The cynical part of my mind quickly dismissed such a possibility. The truth was that most ponies simply did not value the aspects of wonder in our world. They preferred to work themselves to death, if indirectly. For what other way could one put it, that a pony would work to receive meager pay to enable them to live another day so they could work once again? Sure, they had dreams, or so I would imagine, but how long ago had most of these ponies abandoned them? Or did they cling to them, certain that tomorrow would hold the key to their happiness? Is that why they did everything to struggle to the next sunrise?

I opened the doors to the palace gardens and made my way towards their exit to Canterlot proper. I saw a pair of ponies, (advisors to the Prime Minister, if my memory served), sitting on a bench staring toward the heavens. Well, at least somepony had their priorities straight. They smiled and waved at me as I passed. With a twinge of nervousness, I trotted past them. I didn’t even know those ponies; why would they wave at me? I attributed their actions to probable drunkenness. Yes, that made sense.

As the gate came into view beyond the flower bushes, I could hear the raised voices of two ponies. As much as I wanted to avoid becoming involved in any such thing, I would find myself late if I dawdled, so I walked up to the gate while trying to remain inconspicuous. I was still curious, however, so I perked my ears up to try to hear what the ponies were arguing about. There was a stallion and a mare, the latter of whose voice was quickly recognizable to me.

“I’m telling you the truth!” Lyra shouted.

“Yeah, sure you are,” scoffed the stallion. “Twilight Sparkle and you?”

“That’s right!”

“It’ll be a cold day in Tartarus when Twilight Sparkle goes out with anypony. Hey, aren’t you the crazy mare who got caught sneaking into the castle a few days ago?” This pony, whom I identified as one of the guards, spoke with a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah. So?”

“So you’re probably just another of Ms. Sparkle’s stalkers. I had to turn away another earlier today. Some crazy stallion who said he had a date…”

Lyra stomped her hoof. “That guy? No, he really was obsessed! I had to chase him away earlier today.”

I stepped out into clear view. As mildly entertaining as it was to hear this argument, whatever it was about, Hoofley’s comet wasn’t going to wait for it.

“Are you ready to go, Lyra?”

The guard who had been arguing with her stared at me, eyes wide. “So she was telling the truth? You’re really going out with her tonight?”

“Yeah,” I replied apathetically, “We’re going out to watch Hoofley’s comet. Are you ready, Lyra?”

“Yep!” She smiled at me.

“I just…wow.” The guard continued to stare at us. “So the rumors were true. I never would have guessed.”

“What rumors?”

“Come on, Twilight,” Lyra said to me before the guard answered, “I want to go somewhere specific for this.”

I shrugged my shoulders and followed her, leaving the dumbstruck guard at the gate. To my slight surprise, she led us away from the city. I had assumed that she would try to take us back to a club and stargaze from the roof or something. I fell into step beside her and asked about the curious conversation of which I had caught the tail-end.

“So what were you arguing with that guard about?”

She shrugged. “He didn’t believe that we were going out. I guess I can understand his position; apparently there’ve been lots of ponies claiming to know you over the years.”

“I don’t understand. I go out lots of times.”

“No, I mean go out go out.”

“I still don’t understand.”

Lyra giggled. “Twilight, you are so adorably naïve sometimes. Don’t ever change.”

“Hmpf.”

“Oh don’t be like that. I meant that in a good way.”

“‘Naïve: a lack of experience, wisdom or judgment’,” I quoted, “How can that possibly be construed positively?”

“‘Naïve: unaffected or innocent’,” she replied. “There’s nothing negative about being unaffected.”

My jaw dropped at her recitation. I had never met another pony who could so effortlessly quote the Equestrian dictionary like I could.

“Don’t be too impressed,” she said, taking notice of my expression, “By coincidence, I just looked at the definition the other day.”

“Why were you looking at the dictionary?”

“I had to look up spelling for an article I was submitting to ‘Cryptoanthropology Monthly’.”

Damn it, Lyra. Just when you start to seem cool…

We trudged up a dirt path, away from civilization. There was only one place in the direction we were heading—Canterlot Summit, the highest point on the mountain, and an amazing place for stargazing. Princess Celestia herself showed me this spot when I was a filly, and it held a special place in my heart. To say I would be impressed with Lyra’s choice, if it was indeed where she had in mind, was an understatement. I wasn’t even aware that other ponies, besides the princess, knew about this spot.

As if in response to my mental inquiries, she said, “We’re going to the highest point of Canterlot Peak. It’s away from the city lights, so it should do us great.”

I smiled. “Actually, I was kind of hoping you’d be going there. To be honest, I would have just set up my telescope in the castle garden, but this is a much better idea.”

“Thanks!”

We hiked up the path to the summit of the mountain. It was relatively small, only about fifty feet in any direction, and the only way to get to it was a steep, winding path that went back down to the rest of Canterlot. A single tree stood in this spot—an incredibly old tree that the princess had said that she had seen the first time she came here. I had lost track of the number of times the two of us had sat under that tree, discussing magic or simply enjoying the view. In all the years I had been coming here, I had never seen another pony; the path coming up was simply too treacherous for anypony who didn’t already know it. The fact that Lyra had chosen this spot seemed almost like destiny, if I believed in such a thing.

Lyra trotted to the tree and sat herself down underneath it, patting the ground next to her. It was a little too close to her for my tastes, so I left two ponies worth of room between us. She looked at me curiously but shrugged her shoulders. In confusion, I returned the gesture before taking the two telescopes out of my saddlebags and placing them between us. Judging by the position of the stars, it would be about half an hour until the comet would start to pass. I sighed. An entire half-hour with Lyra Heartstrings. Can’t wait to hear about all the humans.

She picked up the telescope I had placed next to her and inspected it. “You know, I’ve never actually been able to afford a telescope before. This will be a first for me.”

“It’s really pretty simple. You just extend the tripod, then stretch the barrel until the gears meet and focus it.”

She turned it around several times in her magic before stretching the barrel as I had instructed. She took a cursory glance through the eyepiece and frowned. “Twilight, I don’t think it’s working.”

I huffed. “Of course it’s working. It’s a very simple mechanism and isn’t likely to be broken.”

“I can’t see anything, though.”

I jerked it out of her aura and held it up for what I was sure would be a rapid repair. I gazed through it as she had done. Nothing but blackness. Huh. I turned in the other direction, toward the city, and tried to focus on the lights there. Nothing.

“Huh.”

“Told you,” Lyra smirked.

I loosened the wing-nuts that kept the two halves of the telescope tube together. As I separated them, several drops of black liquid leaked out onto the ground. What in the… I leaned in to sniff the liquid.

Ink.

“Damn it all!” I screamed.

“What? What is it?”

“I forgot to clean the ink out of my saddlebag from this afternoon! It’s ruined!”

“Oh no! How did ink get into your saddlebag?”

I ignored the question and cradled my fallen angel. It was the first actual, adult telescope I had ever gotten, and a gift from my parents. With reverence, I laid its body against the tree. I sighed and leaned my head back against the trunk. That certainly put a damper on the evening.

“I’m real sorry about that, Twilight. Can you wash the ink off?”

“No,” I deadpanned, “Scrubbing off the ink would ruin some of the smaller parts inside.”

“That’s too bad. I guess we can just watch the comet without one, unless you’d rather go home.”

“No, I don’t want to go home. I actually brought another telescope, but it’s probably ruined, too.”

“Why don’t you check?”

Reaching into my bag, although without much hope, I pulled out the second telescope. This one was newer that the one that was ruined, and was one of the first things I purchased after being the princess’s student. I carefully went over it, scanning both the inside and outside. After setting it up on its tripod and gazing through it, I turned to Lyra with a smile.

“I think this one’s okay.”

“Sweet!” she exclaimed, bounding over to my side with a leap. Even as I opened my mouth to protest at her proximity, I realized that it would be a pointless argument. With only one telescope, we would have to be in close proximity to use it, anyway. I allowed her to look through it, and she eagerly turned it to and fro while happily scanning Celestia’s stars.

“I didn’t realize that you enjoyed astronomy so much,” I noted.

“I enjoy all kinds of things,” she replied without looking away from the sky, “Life’s too short to limit yourself.”

“Most ponies don’t think that way. They just cruise through life without even bothering to wonder about why they’re living it.”

She turned toward me with a mildly bemused look. “Always the philosopher, Twilight.”

I waved my hoof dismissively. “It’s not like I’m anything great. Honestly, it’s kind of a more recent hobby for me. Hopefully one day I can actually think of something somepony will consider worthwhile…”

“Stop undervaluing yourself! I’ve never met anypony as clever as you, and I’m sure that someday you’ll discover something really important.”

“Well, I’m hoping to. Now that I have that book you gave me, I’m closer than ever to the Meaning of Life.”

“You keep talking about the 'Meaning of Life’ as if it’s the end all, be all of philosophy. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but what is it?”

“Hmm…” I leaned back against the tree once again and rubbed my chin. “I guess that’s a legitimate question, but there’s no one way to answer it. I suppose it’s best summed up by Starswirl the Bearded—‘The Meaning of Life is the purest distillation of the question: “Why?”’ It’s the reason we do anything, the reason we exist. In advanced magical theory, there’s variables that some scholars think all link to the Meaning of Life. If somepony could discover it, there would be a magical revolution, a new enlightenment.”

“What did Clover think the Meaning of Life is?”

“Um, Clover actually thought that the question of the Meaning of Life was unanswerable. She though that Starswirl’s assertion that he had discovered it was just his madness.”

“So she doesn’t believe in the Meaning of Life?”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not getting it. The Meaning of Life isn’t something that you can believe in or not. It simply is. It’s like if I asked you if you believed in questions. You can answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but even if you answer no you’re indirectly affirming the existence of questions by answering one.”

She paused. “Those are some pretty crazy thoughts there, Twilight. It took me a second to follow you. So what will figuring out the Meaning of Life do?”

“Do? What do you mean, ‘do’?”

“You just said that there’s some magic stuff that uses the Meaning of Life. How do you think it will it help you? How will it make your life better?”

I sighed. She just wasn’t getting it. “It doesn’t make your life better. Thinking that finding the answer will do anything for you is completely missing the point of the question. I know I said that there’s practical applications, but it’s just speculation. Like Starswirl said, gaining knowledge in order to be more powerful is a quest for power, not knowledge, and you will fail.”

Lyra shrugged. “Well, I don’t understand it, but as long as you do, then I guess I can’t complain. So is the book I got for you helping?”

“It sure is!” I answered happily, “In fact, Starswirl said he created the spell that when it's cast, it allows you to know the Meaning of Life.”

“Then why haven’t you done it?”

“It’s in code, and in the Classical language, no less. Apparently nopony’s been able to figure out the code yet, but I’m optimistic.”

“Maybe there’s a hint somewhere else in the book? You mentioned some sort of story about a cave that he wrote…”

“Yeah, I guess I did promise that I’d talk about it earlier. You see…”

I told the entire parable of the cave, almost word for word. To her credit, Lyra was a very good listener. She looked at me with rapt attention, nodding occasionally and asking intelligent questions. I had never met another pony, besides the princess, of course, who had such an appreciation for knowledge, for knowledge’s sake. I found my social anxiety that I had previously felt around her to be melting away. I couldn’t remember the last time I had enjoyed myself so much around a pony that I hadn’t known since a young age, if I ever have.

“Okay, so let me see if you have the same idea about the story as I do,” she said when I had finished. “The ponies in the cave represent ponies who’ve only seen the world in one way and refuse to look at it any different. The pony who leaves the cave represents an enlightened pony. And when the enlightened pony is killed by the ignorant ponies, he’s saying that knowledge has its costs.”

“That’s pretty much what I got out if it, too.” I smiled. “You know, Lyra, you’re really easy to talk to sometimes. I like you.”

“I really like you too, Twilight,” she responded softly, leaning in close to me. Uncomfortably close. Within my bubble close.

“Uhm…” I said in confusion. I could feel her breath on my muzzle. It smelled like spearmint. I could feel a blush rising on my cheeks once again, and I leaned away. She quickly pulled back and turned her head.

“Sorry,” she mumbled with embarrassment, “I thought we were, like, having a moment. I don’t know. Sorry.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I know I surprised you last time, but I was hoping that after you said ‘yes’ when I asked you out on this date…”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa!” I said, my voice rising, “This is not a date!”

“What? I thought it was.” Her eyes glistened with tears, and she turned from me. “Oh.” I could hear the distinct sound of a sob as she covered her face with her hooves.

“Lyra?”

“Don’t… I’m stupid. I just... It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

The desperate, weak sound of her voice, which wavered with the unmistakable sound of a pony trying not to cry, made me feel horrible. Normally the emotions of other ponies was not something I paid a lot of attention to, but for whatever reason, Lyra’s pained voice really hurt me.

“I’m sorry, Lyra. I do like you. I’m just not very comfortable with this whole friendship thing. Or dating. Especially dating. I’ve never really had a friend before.”

“It’s okay,” she stuttered, “I just need a little time. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I’ll—I’ll see you later, Twilight. If you want.”

She stood up on shaky hooves and started shuffling off, back down toward the city. It was the most pathetic thing I’d ever seen, and it was unbearable to watch. I opened my mouth and closed it several times, trying to form words. I couldn’t let this stand.

“Lyra,” I choked out eventually, “I want you to stay.”

She turned around, tears matting the fur under her eyes. “What?”

“I—I want to watch the sky with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

The smallest smile appeared on her face. “I was just being dumb.”

“No… Look, I really don’t know about any of this, honestly. If—If I accept your, uhm, date… We don’t have to kiss, do we? I don’t know if I can do that.”

“No, of course not. We can just hang out like we have been.”

“And it can stay just between us? No parading around where ponies can see us?”

“If that’ll make you comfortable, then I suppose we can do that.”

“We’re just going to be watching the comet, together, right? I don’t really know how this all works, and I don’t have any poetry ready to recite or anything…”

She walked up to me and placed a reassuring hoof on my shoulder, even as a tear dripped from her eye. “Look, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But if you do, it’ll be just like when we hang out any other time. That’s all a date is. If you’re ever uncomfortable, just tell me and we can stop.”

Unnoticed by the other mare, I was doing my breathing exercises. This was the scariest thing I could ever remember doing. “Okay.”

Her eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

I was immediately launched backwards as a sonic green hug blasted me off my hooves. The mare snuggled me as her tear streaked face got my chest wet.

“Uhm, Lyra…”

She jumped off me and looked away with embarrassment. “Right, sorry.”

I sighed. “It’s okay. Come on, before we miss the comet.”

That night, we watched Hoofley’s comet streak across the sky together, our bodies touching slightly as we both tried to use the same telescope.

I didn’t really mind that much.

Author's Note

And thus concludes the first act.

This is actually the last chapter I already had pre-written. I suppose I could continue writing, if there's interest, but it probably wouldn't be updated as frequently as it had been.

Are you still interested?

Chapter Seven

I didn’t see Lyra again in the week that followed. Not that I was avoiding her! It’s simply the fact that I had no business that would require me to travel within any proximity of the places she habituated, and much business that kept me confined to the castle. It was a separation of convenience, but I entertained the idea of maybe visiting her after a while. Well, eventually.

All things considered, it was a relatively quiet week. Cadance and Shining Armor were kept busy with the upcoming diplomatic visit, and I only briefly saw the latter on his way to the barracks on business. After my last miserable showing, I ensured to allot proper time for my studies under Princess Celestia. With my new strategy of appointing Spike as my official timekeeper, she seemed satisfied with my renewed performance. All seemed to be coming together.

Well, most things were coming together. Starswirl’s coded last chapter was remaining stubbornly untranslated. Despite having working knowledge of the Classical language, reading every bit of reference material I could find on code-breaking, and spending the entirety of my unallocated hours on it, I was no closer to finding a solution. As I had suspected, simple substitution code was a waste of time. Well, as much as any failure might be considered a waste of time. I now knew what not to spend my time on. It’s just as well. Any pony that had attempted to translate this text in eons past would undoubtedly try substituting letters. It simply didn’t work. Such a simplistic cipher was entirely unlike something Starswirl might do; it lacked elegance.

I looked again at the first phrase in chapter four. It actually translated directly into the Classical language:

Εάν είσαι σοφός, πεθαίνουν άγνοια.

It means “If you are wise, die ignorant”. What could he possibly mean by this? Did this have something to do with the Meaning of Life, or was it a warning. I shuddered. Princess Celestia’s warning regarding the sanity of Starswirl and the potential danger of the book flashed through my head. Informed risks had to be partaken by scientists in the name of all of ponykind, and uninformed risks were simply informed risks with a variable of the unknown. I was willing to take the risk, even if it claimed my own sanity. A life is finite, knowledge is forever.

Running out of ideas, I resolved to add the letters up, as was the Classical number system. I didn’t expect any results, and I wasn’t disappointed. The five words came out numerically as: 56, 226, 847, 675, and 135. As far as I could tell, they were completely random numbers with nothing mathematical tying them together. Maybe I need to dissect these numbers a little more. I tried prime factorization, reducing the numbers to primes. So then the numbers became:

2, 2, 2, 7
2, 113
7, 11, 11
3, 3, 3, 5, 5
3, 3, 3, 5

I banged my head in frustration against my desk. This was getting me nowhere! I had been playing around with these stupid number for a straight week, and was getting absolutely nothing out of it! I had been so excited to find this book, the only written record of anypony finding the Meaning of Life, that I never considered that I wouldn’t be able to translate it. If it wasn’t for my sheer conviction, I would have probably put it back by now. Hell, I might as well just put it in the public library, it’s not like anypony would be able to do anything with it, anyway. If thousands of years’ worth of study hadn’t been enough to crack this code, I doubt it’s the public menace Celestia made it out to be.

That of course left me with the question of what to do next. Checking my schedule, I still had a half-hour left of “free study” before I was due to go on a lunch break. My inclination was to continue trying to decipher the book, but I had a feeling that if I kept going as I was currently, I would end up pulling my mane out. At the very least. In hindsight, I can sometimes go a little overboard when it comes to figuring something out that doesn’t have a clear explanation. What I really needed was to do something that didn’t involve studying. I looked toward the little basket at the food of my bed, from where the sound of soft snoozing was drifting forth.

“Hey Spike,” I called as gently as I could.

No response.

“Hey Spike!”

“Wh… Huh?” He sat up, his little eyes blinking lazily, gazing around the room for the source of the call. I’ll admit—it was cute.

“Wake up, sleepy-head. It’s almost noon,” I laughed. “I was thinking of going for a walk. You want to join me?”

“Walk?” he asked, still not completely awake. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not sure, actually. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Is there anywhere you want to go?”

He laid back into his bed. “Not really…”

“You need to wake up, Spike,” I said sternly. “You really need to stop this ‘sleeping until noon’ phase you’ve been going through. If you don’t want to walk with me, that’s fine, but you do need to wake up.”

“But Twilight…”

“No buts, mister.”

“Uh. Fine…”

After several seconds, during which I was sure that he had fallen back asleep, he slowly crawled out of the basket like a slug, dragging himself until he was laying on the floor. It was obvious he was making a show of it, but I allowed him his theatrics. As soon as his last foot fell from the edge of the basket onto the marble floor, he said, “There. Happy?”

I rolled my eyes. “Spike, what has gotten into you?”

“Why do you care all of a sudden? Don’t you have a book to read?”

“Spike…”

“Just go enjoy your walk. I won’t go back to bed.”

“Spike, are you…mad at me?”

At this, he pulled himself into a sitting position. At first I thought that this was a mollifying gesture, but then I realized he only did it so that he could cross his arms angrily.

“Look, I see how you are with that book.” My eyes went wide. “Yes, I know about the book, and how it’s been the only thing you’ve been paying attention to for over a week.”

“You know about the book?” I asked fearfully. How did he know? Did he tell the princess? My mind started to go into a panic. “How much do you know?”

He shrugged. “I know it’s some Starswirl the Bearded book. I looked at it once while you were at a lesson, but it’s all brainy mumbo-jumbo to me.

“And I know you started reading it the same time you started hanging out with that Lyra mare. And I know that besides your lessons with Princess Celestia, you’ve been completely ignoring everypony else!” He took a deep breath, his last words rising in anger and pain. Then, he worriedly said, “Twilight, I think that book is cursed. You’ve been so distant with everypony since you’ve been reading it. I’m worried about you.”

I let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t know what I was doing, and he didn’t mention telling the princess. This could easily be smoothed over; I just have to explain to him that it isn’t cursed. Then I can go back to…

No, Twilight , a resolute voice told me, It isn’t right. He’s your friend, and he’s worried about you. You need to be his friend, too. You need to tell him the truth.

“Spike…”

Or at least, a sanitized version of the truth.

“The truth is, I’m doing a very important research project. This book contains unique research, and I’m trying to figure it out.”

“Is this a project from Princess Celestia?”

My heart jumped at the mention of my mentor’s name. “No. This is something I’m doing on my own, outside of what the princess assigns me. There’s no need to bother her with it, right?” Once again, my crazed, lopsided smile betrayed me.

His eyebrow rose. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Nervous? Who said anything about nervous? I’m perfectly fine.”

“You don’t want anypony to know about this, don’t you?”

I sighed. Despite his relatively young age, I often forget how perceptive he could be. I at once both thanked and cursed the princess for assigning me such a smart assistant. There was only one course of action. To stave off the threat of him informing Princess Celestia, I had to placate him.

“Spike, you’re still a baby. There’re things that go on that we sometimes can’t tell other ponies, even the princess, about.”

“Why not? What’s that book about?” he interrupted.

“It contains a code that nopony’s deciphered before. That code is very important, but the princess doesn’t want anypony looking at it because she doesn’t know if it’s dangerous. I promise that once I figure out the code, I’ll tell the princess what I found.”

“I don’t know, Twilight. Princess Celestia usually has good reasons for doing the things she does. If she thinks it might be dangerous, there’s probably a reason for that.”

I did my best to restrict my rising panic. I lived in constant fear of being discovered, of potentially losing to all ponykind this unparalleled knowledge. Not to mention the horrible, nightmarish penalties that might result. My mind came to its own conclusion—either convince Spike to promise to keep my secret, or perform a memory charm. I much preferred the former course of action, as memory charms, besides being blatantly illegal, could affect the mind of the subject in unpredictable ways. Actually, that’s probably why it’s illegal.

My heart ached at the prospect of subjugating my friend’s mind, but the Meaning of Life was greater than all of us.

“She doesn’t know that it’s dangerous. She’s just being overly cautious. There’s no danger in simply reading a book. I promise you, Spike, that if I think it’s dangerous, I’ll stop immediately.”

“But I think she might be on to something. Ever since you started reading that book, you’ve barely talked to me or anypony else. When’s the last time you talked to Cadance? Or Shining Armor? Or even Lyra?”

As I opened my mouth to provide a rebuttal, I realized that I had none. He was right. I hadn’t talked to anypony outside of Princess Celestia at our lessons. But there was such a thing as priorities, and something so monumental as the Meaning of Life automatically trumped everything in the way of its discovery. Of course, I couldn’t expect someone so young to understand such a thing. Misdirection again, it is, then.

“You’re right, Spike. I haven’t been spending much…”

He cleared his throat loudly.

“…any time with my friends. And I’m going to fix that right now, starting with you. I asked you if you wanted to go on a walk with me earlier. Would you like to?”

For the first time today, he smiled. “You’re not bringing the book? You’re just spending time with me?”

“Of course.”

“And we can go anywhere I want?”

“Yep!”

“Can we see if they have any cakes ready for lunch?”

I laughed. “Sure thing, Spike. Let’s head down to the kitchens.”

He happily jumped up off the floor, and I offered him a space on my back. Once he hopped on, I exited my room and we set forth towards the castle kitchen.

As usual, the pristine marble passageways were filled with cheery ponies. All of them—castle staff and visitors alike—smiled merrily at us as we progressed. After several of these encounters, I grew aware that these greetings were more enthusiastic than normal. Was it because they had seen so little of me over this past week? Or perhaps something more sinister? My mind drew its own conclusion that the princess had put them up to it, to reinforce her conviction on the importance of that inanity that is friendship. I couldn’t help but feel hurt as the possibility of the manipulation.

To distract myself from this uncomfortable thought, I talked to Spike as I walked.

“So Spike, you’re getting to be quite the grown-up dragon.”

I felt his posture straighten on my back. “Well. I’m glad somepony noticed.”

“So grown-up, in fact, that it’s about time that some-dragon started thinking about school.”

He groaned as he slouched once more. “School? Come on, Twilight, I don’t need to go to school.”

I laughed. “Everyone needs to go to school, Spike. How else are they going to grow up to be smart and wise? You wouldn’t want to be an old, illiterate dragon, would you?”

“Pssh. Like I have to worry about that. I’m the assistant of one of the smartest ponies in Equestria, after all.”

A pony less accustomed to his mannerisms would have fallen for the distracting flattery. “While I’m glad to hear you think I’m a smart pony, that doesn’t mean that I can become your teacher. What about all your classmates that you’ll get to make friends with?”

He mumbled something, and I had to turn my head to better hear him. “What was that?”

“Like you can lecture anypony about friends,” he mumbled again.

I turned my head back forward, blushing slightly. “That’s not a very nice thing to say. I have plenty of friends.”

“Like who?”

“Whom,” I corrected.

“Who is ‘Whom’?”

“‘Who’ is most certainly not ‘whom’. ‘Whom’ is the objective form of the pronoun. Maybe you need school more than you think?”

“That’s not what I… Just forget it. This conversation is giving me a headache. Can we change the subject?” he groaned.

I laughed. “I suppose we can, but you can’t avoid the fact that someday, you’ll have to go to school.”

“I know, I know. Anyway, did you know that this summer will be the thousandth anniversary of the Summer Sun Celebration?”

“Honestly, Spike, what kind of student would I be if I didn’t know that?”

“I wonder what the princess is planning for it. It’s the thousandth anniversary, so there’s bound to be a huge celebration!”

“Hmm… To be honest, now that you mention it, she really should have already started planning for the Summer Sun Celebration. Normally it’s not that big of a deal, but you’re right—this is the thousandth one. All that seems to be on her plate right now is the visit of the Dalai Llama.”

“Do you think she forgot?”

“The princess, forget?” I laughed. “She often doesn’t act on things if she thinks it’s unnecessary, but the princess never forgets.”

“Huh. Oh well. I’m sure that she’ll bring it up to you if she thinks that you’re important to it, somehow.”

“I doubt that there would be much for me to do. I’m only her student, after all. Then again, she is having me escort the Dalai Llama for his visit… Speaking of which, Cadance was supposed to talk with me about that. You feel like going to visit her after your snack?”

“Sure thing.”

Silence passed between us, but unlike those silences earlier in the day, this was a comfortable silence. Perhaps I haven’t totally made things up to him, but at least he’s no longer in a state of overt animosity. Before long, we arrived at our destination—a pair of double doors through which ponies entered and exited with dizzying frequency.

“Hey, you’re in the way!” shouted a stallion I recognized as the head sous chef. He snorted and pushed past me before I could even say a word. With an embarrassed smile, I stepped back from the doors.

“Yeesh. That guy was rude,” Spike commented.

“Sorry, Spike. I should have figured that they’d all be busy preparing lunch.”

“Doesn’t mean that guy has to be a jerk about it.” He patted me reassuringly. “It’s no problem, Twi. We can go see Cadance now, if you want.”

Truth be told, I was rather indifferent to the idea. Sure, I enjoyed seeing my old foal-sitter, but now that I had given my brain some time to decompress, I felt driven to get back to work on Volume XII. I really needed to talk to somepony who could give me some ideas, but the only pony I could talk to about the code was Lyra, and I didn’t suspect she’d be too big in the idea department.

Speaking of Lyra, she would be a topic of great interest to the Princess of Love, and that conversation was forecasting a tornado of embarrassment. And then I’d have to explain why I haven’t seen her in a week, and…this whole conversation sounded wholly unpleasant.

“Say, Spike, you know what sounds like even better fun? Going back to the room and reading a book.”

He shifted on my back as he crossed his arms. Looking back, I could see him raising an eyebrow. “Reading a book? Like that Starswirl book? Uh-uh. No way, Twilight. You need a break. If you don’t want to go see Cadance, then I’m sure Lyra…”

“Cadance it is then!”

It’s not that I don’t want to see Lyra. Even if she is insufferable at times, she’s still my marefriend…

Wait, is she my marefriend? Did accepting her offer of a date necessitate that I declare her my marefriend? Or did she have to ask me this specifically? Wait, was I supposed to ask her, since she performed the action of asking me on the date? Was the reason that she hasn’t been bothering me because she assumed that my failure to perform this social mannerism effectively constituted rejection on my part?

Dear Celestia, the word itself sounds weird to me. “Marefriend”. It’s a word that I never before thought I would use. It’s true that I never gave much thought to the prospect of romance, but like every filly, I thought it would be inevitable that I would one day grow up to marry a stallion and have a family. It’s just something that goes without saying. Of course, when I got older, I imagined that there was a distinct possibility that I would be an old maid, that is, never married. It didn’t really bother me, and truly speaking, neither does being in a homosexual relationship. Princess Celestia was sure to instill in me a sense of acceptance towards that community. It still seems weird. If anypony were, before they became aware of the spectrum of their sexual preferences, or despite of them, declare in the vernacular of the other orientation the term for their endeared, they would too be shocked. I can imagine any straight stallion saying, “I’m going on a date with my coltfriend”, even to himself experimentally, with a similar sense of disquiet.

What was I talking about again? I shook my head and took note of my surroundings. I stood in front of Princess Cadance’s door. How did I get here again? With but a moment of respite from my cognitive ramblings, I remembered my purpose here. I was to socialize with my old foalsitter. My split-second surge of anxiety was calmed when I remembered that this was essentially a favor for Spike, and that in all reality, it would probably a more pleasant visit than my ever-present social misgivings would have me believe. I let slow my thundering heart as Spike knocked loudly upon her door.

Imagine my surprise when it was my brother that answered it.

“Uh, hey Twily,” he greeted nervously, “I was expecting somepony else. Heh. Uhm… Fancy seeing you here!”

“Shiny, what are you doing in Cadance’s room?” I asked sternly. I had no reason to accuse him of any misdeed, but his mannerisms immediately demanded skepticism.

“Oh, I was just…you know. I was actually waiting for my adjutant to deliver a message, and he’s late, so I better go find him. Nice seeing you, Twilight. Bye!”

Without a word, or more importantly, an explanation, he bolted out from the doorway, and down the marble hall, never once looking back towards us.

“Huh. He seemed like he was in a hurry,” Spike noted.

“Yeah, he did…”

Before I had the time to ruminate on my musings concerning my brother’s strange behavior, the original target of our journey appeared in the doorway, noticeably out of breath.

“Oh hey, Twilight,” Cadance said, “I was actually going to come down to your room, later. What brings you here?”

“Just thought we’d come and visit!” Spike said.

“And good afternoon to you too, Spike. Please, come in.”

We made our way into Cadance’s room. Well, I use the word “room”, but I would more appropriately call it a “suite”. Being as she was a princess, her quarters were far more luxurious than my own. While my room was set up more like what one might see at a hotel, hers had a full sitting room, bedroom and meeting room. We entered into the former, easily twice as wide and twice as high as my bedroom/library. The entire decorum was fashioned in the most flamboyant way, with pink couches, pink drapes, pink carpet, and heart-shaped mirrors along the walls. It was, of course, reflective of her personality, and enough to make most any stallion gag.

“Sorry, Twilight. I was having a word with Shining Armor about the upcoming visit, so we didn’t hear you knocking the first time.”

I was about to ask how they knew that I knocked if they didn’t hear it, but Spike beat me to a response.

“It’s cool, Cadance. Twilight was just…tired of her studying, so we thought we’d come say hi.”

“Well that’s very considerate of you, Spike. I appreciate the company.”

Spike and I took a seat upon one of the cloyingly decorated couches, and Cadance took the opposite loveseat.

“So what’s new?” she asked.

“Um…” To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about what to talk with Cadance about. I was simply trying to placate Spike. Thankfully, the object of my efforts felt fit to resolve my dilemma for me.

“Not much,” Spike replied, “We were going to try to get a snack at the kitchen, but they were all busy. We just thought we’d hang out for a while. What’s new with you?”

“Of course. I’ve just been keeping busy with Princess Celestia’s assignment. It’s actually the first time she’s trusted me with any diplomatic issues, and I want to make sure everything goes perfectly. Speaking of which… Twilight, how has your research on the Dalai Llama gone?”

My eyes sprung open in alarm. I had forgotten that whole issue what with the Meaning of Life and the Lyra taking my whole attention. “I… uhm…” Cadance raised her eyebrow, causing my nerves to once again spike in alarm.

“She’s probably been too busy reading some books for Princess Celestia,” Spike laughed. To one who didn’t know him quite as well as me, the laugh might have seemed jovial, but I could feel the strained effort behind it. “She’s been busy recently.”

“I’m sure she has been, but Twilight, you must understand that this is an important responsibility. It would be horrible if you accidently offend his holiness.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Cadance.”

“It’s alright, Twilight. Why don’t we take this time to bring you up to speed, then?”

I sighed imperceptibly. I had only wanted to take a quick walk, to stretch my legs and give my brain a little time to decompress. But responsibilities called, and I needed to put food on the table, as they say. “That sounds great.”

“Great! Do you have any specific questions? Or should I just give you an overview?”

“An overview would be fine.”

“An overview it is. The Dalai Llama is the spiritual leader of the Llama Kingdom, in the Far East. However, the Llama Kingdom was taken over about fifty years ago by the Dragon Empire, and the Dalai Llama went into exile. It’s a pretty good idea to avoid talking about the Dragon Empire, actually, unless he brings it up.”

“You say he’s the spiritual leader. What does that entail?”

“Well, he basically leads the rest of those that follow the Llama faction of the Eastern Religion. Hmm… How should I put this? While the Llama Nation was still a sovereign country, the Dalai Llama was also the head of state. Since it became a puppet of the Dragon Empire, his job is to bring attention to the country’s plight and act as a spiritual guide concerning the Eastern Religion.”

Great. More religious mumbo-jumbo to deal with. “What does the Eastern Religion teach?”

At this question, Cadance looked away and blushed slightly. “I’m actually not that sure,” she admitted abashedly, “I was hoping you’d look more into it. It seems like more your thing. Maybe you can talk to him about it? Princess Celestia has assigned you as his guide when I’m otherwise busy, after all.”

“I suppose…”

“Wonderful! I knew that Auntie picked the right pony for the job!”

To be honest, I wasn’t quite as sure. I had no clue about the Eastern Religion. Heck, I didn’t even know that much about the western religions, and there’re plenty of churches for them in Canterlot. I didn’t grow up in a religious household, and my education in them was merely the historical aspect. There were probably many ponies that could engage the Dalai Llama in conversation much more adroitly than I could, but as the saying goes—“If Celestia wills it, it will get done, one way or another”. Maybe while I undertook these new duties, I would get a break from my usual lessons. It would be nice.

“I’ll do the best I can,” I responded with a smile.

“I know you will.” Cadance walked over and pulled me into a warm hug. “I know that you always put a hundred percent into what you do. When you have time, make sure to read a little bit more on Llama social customs. Keep in mind that he’ll be here in three days.”

I pulled away from her slightly, my eyes wide. “Three days? I thought it was longer than that!”

She laughed. “You always did have a horrible sense of time. Don’t worry, Twily, you’ll be fine.”

I raised my eyebrow. “‘Twily’? Only Shining calls me that. Did…”

“No!”

“So you didn’t get that from him?”

“No! I mean, yes! I mean… I overheard him say it once.”

Something felt off. Her eyes darted rapidly around the room, not focusing on anything, but also very careful to not drift in my direction. She quickly pulled away from me, rubbing her foreleg with a hoof while trying to whistle nonchalantly. There was definitely something she wasn’t telling me, but I couldn’t for the life of me determine what the cause of her nervousness was. “Have you and my brother been working together a lot?”

“‘Working together’? What do you mean, ‘working together’?” She leaned desperately toward me and grabbed me around the shoulders, shaking violently. “What have you heard?” As if suddenly realizing what she was doing, she backed off, although still noticeably nervous.

“I heard that you two were working together…”

“No we weren’t!”

“…with the upcoming Dalai Llama visit.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath, and looked at me bashfully. “Yeah, we are. Nothing to be concerned about. I forgot.”

“You forgot? Cadance, he was literally just here. Are you okay?”

She seemed to be quickly getting her composure back in order, and adopted a reassuring grin. None too soon, either, as even Spike was beginning to look worried. “I’m fine, Twilight, I promise. I’m just under a lot of stress recently, and I apologize I worried you. There’s nothing to be concerned about.” Suddenly, her calm smile quickly morphed into a predatory one. I knew that look. That smile had been a herald of impending doom when she was my foalsitter, a harbinger of looming embarrassment. I scooted back involuntarily.

“So, Twilight,” she continued in a pleasant tone, “How have things been going with you and Lyra?

“Lyra? Who’s Lyra?” my mouth offered without waiting due approval from my brain.

“Oh, you don’t remember Lyra?” she responded sardonically, “The mare that works at Cherub’s Coffee House? It’s actually a lovely place. As the Princess of Love, I must say that it gains my full approval. You know, I am a little thirsty, perhaps…”

“No, I’m okay! Not thirsty at all, in fact!”

“Oh? Well, that’s okay. We can just go and you can introduce me. I’m very interested in getting to know her…”

Okay, that was it. Cadance was definitely getting me back for something, some teasing that I must have inadvertently dealt to her. It was her unmistakable modus operandi. The same thing happened when I was four. We had taken a trip to Sweet Frost’s ice cream parlor and I told everyone who was interested that she once used half a roll of toilet paper after using the restroom. Of course, at the time, I had simply thought it a remarkable and noteworthy observation into alicorn biology. I had no idea the embarrassment that it would cause her. I wasn’t the least bit suspicious when she allowed me, for the first time, to get the wasabi ice cream I’d been dying to try.

But that’s just how she is. Cadance, probably taking from her adopted aunt, loves light-hearted practical jokes and embarrassing conversation. And I know from experience that the only way to corral the inevitable mortification was to play dumb, or to accept defeat. And I had already wasted my opportunity with the former.

“That’s not necessary, Cadance. You’re right—Lyra and I are…going out.” I was about to say “marefriends”, but quickly reflecting on my previous concerns over the terminology, I decided to go a more neutral route.

Not that it mattered. As soon as I uttered that damnable phrase, my old foalsitter’s eyes lit up, an insatiable grin etching itself upon her face. Extreme mirth shined down upon me, blinding me with the intensity of the beaming smile upon her face. I was at her mercy.

“Twilight, that is fantastic! Oh my gosh, I can’t believe my little Twilight is dating! This is so exciting.” She babbled on like this for several minutes, and while I was mortified both in her unnatural exuberance and Spike’s muffled giggling, I was at least no longer the target of her relentless teasing. At least, for now.

“I’m so happy for you,” she continued, “You simply have to tell me every detail!”

I shrugged. “There’s not much to say, really. We ran into each other again when Spike and I were out doing errands. She asked me to go watch Hoofley’s comet with her, but I thought it was just an academic venture.”

Cadance giggled at this. I ignored her.

“When I went to go with her that night, I thought that she was acting strange, but I didn’t know why at the time. It turns out, she thought we were on a date!”

The smile never slipped from her face. “I wonder what gave her that idea. How did she ask you?”

I rubbed a hoof against my chin, trying to recall last week’s events. “She was acting really nervous about something. Her eyes kept darting around, and she was fidgety and sweaty. I thought she had dysentery, so I was going to suggest some books on pony dietary needs.”

“You what?”

“She showed all the signs. It was the simplest solution, and I applied Hockam’s Razor.”

“Oh that poor dear…”

“Anyway, she finally asked me to go sky gazing with her, and wanted to know if it was ‘official’. I had no idea what she meant by that, so I assumed she wanted to make sure it was on my schedule. That night, one of my telescopes broke, so we had to sit close together. I don’t remember what was said, but apparently her hormones were acting up, and she tried to kiss me.”

“Twilight, just because a pony does something romantic doesn’t mean their hormones are acting up. Maybe she did it because she likes you.”

“Nonsense.” I waved her off casually. “I really should have figured it out sooner. The signs of nervousness that she exhibited all night were obviously hormonal in cause. I can’t really blame her for it; we’re all equine, after all.”

She opened her mouth as if to contradict me, but thought better of it. To be honest, I was a little disappointed. Love is, after all, her forte. If I were to discuss the intricacies of pony behavior and psychology, it might as well be with the expert. It would have been an enjoyable debate.

“What happened next?” she asked instead.

“Nothing consequential, really. She was upset that I didn’t know it was a date, and started to walk off. I felt bad for her, so I told her I would try her ‘date’, so long as we didn’t make unnecessary physical contact. Then the comet passed, and we both went home.”

“It sounds romantic.”

Spike pantomimed sticking a finger down his throat. I threw him a glare.

“It was okay,” I responded to Cadance.

“Only okay? You didn’t feel excited to get to know a new pony, a pony that might grow to care for you very much one day?”

I shrugged.

“Twilight, you’re hopeless,” she sighed. “So what happened next?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Next? There is no ‘next’. The night was over, and we went home.”

“I mean, the next time you saw her, dummy.”

What was she getting at? “That was it.”

For some reason, she looked worried at that remark. “Oh no. Did the date go that badly?”

“No, the date went fine.”

“Then why haven’t you talked to her again?”

“She never asked me to.”

Cadance’s facehoof was so hard, I heard it echo off the stone wall of her chamber. “Twilight, what am I going to do with you?”

“I really don’t understand what the issue here is.”

“The issue is that the poor mare probably thinks that you don’t like her, and are trying to ignore her! If she asked you on the last date, then you should be the one to let her know you’re still interested.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” What is with all these rules, anyway? If there was a book with them all written down, I could have perhaps read it. But there’s not. There’s simply ponies making these Celestia-damned rules up as they go along, expecting everypony to just pick them up without any form of education in it. It’s nonsense and anarchy!

“Twilight, you’re so adorkable sometimes, but you’re hopeless. I’ll tell you what—I could use a break, so let’s head down to Cherub’s, and I’ll help you talk to Lyra.”

“…I don’t really have a choice in the matter, do I?”

“Nope!”

The closer we got to that heinous coffee shop, the faster my heart pounded against my ribs in protest. Truth be told, I was incredibly conflicted. On the one hoof, I had better things to be doing, and if this silly relationship appeared to be dying an easy death, then that was one less thing to worry about. On the other, Lyra and I had a bit of a unique bond. The two of us were the only ones who knew about Volume XII. I also begrudgingly admitted to myself that I enjoyed spending time with her, on rare occasions. My indecision could only allow me to draw the conclusion that whichever way this upcoming conversation went, it would have both benefits and detriments. I started to feel like this was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was like going into a test, blind and unprepared.

“Cadance? Maybe we should do this some other time?” And then forget all about it before we do it…

She shook her head. “The longer we stretch this out, the worse it’ll be when it actually happens. We already have to convince the poor girl that you don’t hate her, that it’s just Twilight being Twilight.”

I huffed. As much as I wanted to convince her to allow us to abandon this inane quest, she was my only source of information about this whole situation. Besides, when she was on a “love mission”, no amount of logic could sway her mind. It was foolishness in its most concentrated quintessence.

“So what do I do?”

“You have to be honest. Tell her that you’re sorry, and that you didn’t know you were supposed to contact her… Actually, that sounds horrible. Why didn’t you contact her, by the way?”

I shrugged. “I guess I was just busy. I assumed that if she really wanted to talk to me, she would.”

“Well, you know what they say when you ‘assume’.”

I gasped. “Cadance, that’s racist! Donkeys can be really nice creatures.”

“Sorry. It’s something my father always said, and he was raised in a different time. It just slipped out.”

“It’s okay. So can we turn back now?”

“No.”

“But I have no idea what I’m doing!”

We stopped before Cherub’s Coffee House, with just two tables of customers in the seats outside. I tried my best to ignore them as they gawked at us (mostly at Cadance). This was my last chance to change her mind, and I felt the opportunity slipping through my hooves.

“What if she hates me?” I asked seriously, “What if she tells me that she wants nothing to do with me?”

“Does that thought bother you?”

I nodded, looking down at my hooves.

“That means that you don’t want her to hate you, that you want to continue to be friends. If you leave now, then you may never get a chance to make things up to her. If you really don’t want her to hate you, you need to go apologize.” She put a hoof under my chin, raising my head up so that I was looking into her eyes, a reassuring smile upon her face. “You can do this, Twilight. I’ll be here for you, either way.”

That was it. No more words needed to be spoken, could be spoken. She wrapped her wings around me, pulling me into a comforting hug. It was all that I needed. Without any more goading from her, I pulled away and marched inside, my old foalsitter right behind me.

The inside looked just as I remembered it, albeit with much fewer ponies. Unlike the night Lyra took me here, there were many that enjoyed their coffee by themselves, and the ones that were in groups were platonically so. There was nopony behind the counter at the back of the establishment, and Cadance took the lead as I followed her up to it.

“Hello?” she called out, “Is anypony back there?”

At that statement, a groan resounded from a doorway leading into a backroom behind the counter. After a few moments, a red unicorn mare walked out purposefully to stand before the register, an unmoving frown upon her face.

“Can I help you?” she asked curtly.

“Hello, my name is Princess Cadance. I…”

“What do you want?”

“Um…”

Despite being very humble and easy to talk to, Cadance was a princess. It’s an unusual occurrence for anypony to talk to her with any iota of disrespect, and the brevity of the mare’s statement left her uncertain from the shock of it. However, she was a princess, and she had certainly received diplomatic training for this very situation. She recovered quickly.

“You must be Cherub. You have a very nice little shop.” She smiled amicably.

“Thanks. You ordering something, or not?”

“I’ll, um, take two large black coffees.”

“Four bits.”

As Cadance summoned the money onto the counter, the disagreeable business-mare turned to brew us the coffee, the frown never leaving her face. Cadance coughed slightly to get her attention, but she never paid heed.

“Cherub?” she called cautiously.

“What?” Cherub answered without turning around.

“Is Lyra Heartstrings working today?”

“Yes,” she grunted.

“Would you mind if we talked with her?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Lyra is on the clock. That means her time belongs to me. And I desire for her to work.”

“Oh,” Cadance replied blankly.

“Here’s your coffee.” Cherub levitated both cups onto the counter before us. “Have a nice day.” She turned to walk back into the backroom.

“We would really like to talk to her,” Cadance tried again.

Cherub groaned angrily and turned back to us. “Look, Princess… I’ve purchased her time, and she’s currently busy doing dishes. I know the law, and I know that if you wish to claim her time, which at the current moment is my property, you’re going to have to take it to court. Since that usually takes weeks, I would suggest that you go back to the palace and get to smiling and waving.”

A frown started forming on Cadance’s face. It was a warning sign. My old foalsitter very rarely got angry, but it usually wasn’t pretty when it did. Somepony had to step in; something had to give, or there was going to be an incident. That somepony had to be me, by elimination.

“Ms. Cherub?” I called meekly. Her harsh gaze turned toward me. I flinched. “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience. I normally wouldn’t bother her at work, but the truth is, I’m not really sure where she lives. It won’t take long to talk to her, and if I don’t, I’m afraid that I’m going to lose my friend.”

She considered me for a moment, and I felt butterflies in my gut as I hoped desperately this emotional plea would get through to the disagreeable unicorn.

“I don’t see how that’s my problem,” she answered at last. My hope was broken, and the butterflies died inside my chest to land as rotten heaps in my stomach.

That was it. There would be no talking to Lyra today. I could already feel the sting of failure, as Cadance’s earlier words had convinced me that this action was to be now or never. Of course, hindsight would have shown me that there were other paths I could have taken. I could have waited until she got off work. I could have gotten her address from a registry and sent her a letter. However, desperation was a force that tended to blind one from contemplation on future actions and force our thoughts to dwell on the darkest of unrealistic possibilities.

It was true that when I woke up, Lyra was a distant concern in my mind. I had started the day with no other concern that breaking Starswirl’s code. She was even a distant concern throughout the entirety of the previous week. Out of sight, out of mind. I didn’t even consider the fact that she might have been expecting my correspondence, that she might be upset that I was ignoring her. I simply treated her as I treated everypony else in my life. Only with Cadance’s warnings did I reflect on what I could lose, and with that reflection, I realized that I didn’t want to lose Lyra. Sure, she could be insufferable at times, but she could also be interesting and caring.

I felt like I was hopelessly failing an exam. A wave of desperation crashed down upon me.

“Please,” I cried out, “I don’t want to lose my marefriend!”

My plea worked as the proverbial ‘open sesame’. Cherub spun around. “What did you say?”

“Lyra is Twilight’s marefriend,” Cadance added with a smile, “And things have gotten a little off track. All they need is a few moments to clear a misunderstanding.”

Cherub rubbed her chin with a hoof. “I’m not one to get in the way of love. I do adore true love between ponies—it’s why I opened this shop. Maybe something could be arranged…”

“I’ll pay you triple what you pay her for an hour,” Cadance added.

For the first time since I’ve seen her, Cherub smiled. She reached out a hoof, and Cadance bumped it. “Deal.” She turned towards the backroom door. “Heartstrings, get out here!”

I heard a small noise of acknowledgement coming from the door before Cherub once again addressed the princess. “You got one hour. If there’s a sudden rush of customers, then she goes back to work. Got it?”

“Of course.” Cadance summoned a bag of bits onto the coffee shop counter, one so big that I was relatively sure that it was quite a bit more than the promised amount for Lyra’s time. Then the mare herself walked out of the backroom.

I couldn’t help but smile as I saw her. She had a black apron on, with an embroidered heart upon the chest, with a matching hat. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail jutting out from the back of the cap. She had a confused look upon her face, looking toward her boss.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Go entertain them,” Cherub responded, gesturing aloofly towards us.

As she saw us, Lyra’s curious gaze turned into a bright, beaming smile. At once, my previous worries concerning that I might have hurt her evaporated. She galloped across the shop, looking for all intents and purposes as if she were going to tackle me. I braced myself for impact, but just as it seemed I was about to be bowled over, she screeched to a halt before me. I looked at her curiously, and she suddenly shifted with great uncertainty.

“Hey, Twilight,” she said softly.

“Hey, Lyra.” What was wrong? Was she actually upset with me? What was with that initial reaction, if she was?

We looked pointedly away from each other, gazing at the room, at other ponies, at anything but at each other. It appeared that neither of us knew quite what to say.

“Hello, Lyra,” Cadance greeted, “I’m Princess Cadance. Twilight’s told me a lot about you.” Cadance reached a hoof out, but Lyra didn’t take it. Instead, she looked at her suspiciously, her eyes brightening with the unmistakable glimmer of obsession.

Oh no! Cadance, what did you just do to yourself!

“So where are they kept, huh?” Lyra asked.

“I’m sorry, where are what kept?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, because I know what I’m talking about.”

“I really don’t…”

“Are you concerned that the other ponies might know?” Lyra gestured wildly to the other patrons of the coffee shop, none of which were paying the least bit of attention to us. “Fine. It’s cool. I understand. I’m talking about the hairless, two-legged things. Rhymes with ‘moo-mans’?”

Cherub merely groaned and returned to the backroom. Apparently she knew better than to try to interfere when Lyra was in a mood. Cadance looked utterly bewildered. “Two-legged ‘Moo-mans’? You mean the minotaurs?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! I’ve read convincing evidence from Equestria’s leading cryptoanthropologists that there’s a cavern underneath Canterlot where the government is forcing the humans to harvest magic crystals to brainwash…”

“Lyra, she’s not playing dumb. She really doesn’t know what you’re talking about,” I said with a facehoof, her tirade causing me to temporarily forget the awkwardness between us. When she turned to look at me with sad eyes, I realized what I’d said, and shrank back from her. Curiously, she did the same. It seemed the only one who could think through the discomfort of the situation was the Princess of Love.

“Maybe you two should have a talk. How about we go sit over there in the corner?”

We nodded dumbly, and followed her to a secluded table, away from any possible eavesdropping. Lyra and I sat across the table from each other, while Cadance stood between us on one side of the table.

“Would you like me to start, Twilight?” she asked.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to do this myself. To make for, um…”

“Of course,” she answered tactfully. “I’ll be over there if you need me.” She took her coffee over to a table out of hearing distance, and purposefully tried to look at anything but us, respectful of our privacy.

“So…” Lyra began.

“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out. The sooner I said what needed to be said, the sooner I could be rid of this miserable feeling. “I should have said something sooner. Cadance told me that you would have been expecting me to say something, but I had no idea.”

She nodded glumly. “It’s okay.”

Her reaction was incredibly confusing to me. From what Cadance had told me about the situation, and all of my mistakes, the most logical conclusion to draw would that Lyra would be infuriated. What was the meaning of all this melancholy? I was the one who messed up! I was expecting screaming, maybe disappointment, but not this.

“Lyra?”

She looked up at me and smiled sadly. It was a look that meant to comfort the one it was directed towards, while the bearer obviously felt none. “I understand. I really do. We’re just too different. To be honest, I never really expected you to want to continue. I’ll admit that it hurt when you didn’t even tell me that’s how you felt, but it’s nothing in comparison to… Nevermind. It would be great if we could still be friends, though.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re here to tell me that you’re not interested in me.”

“What? No, I’m here to apologize for not contacting you for a week!”

“I know, and it’s okay. I appreciate that you told me in the end, and I hold no hard feelings. Can we still be friends?”

“Lyra, that’s not…”

“That’s not possible? Oh…”

This whole debacle made me want to scream! Here I was, dutifully sorrowful to have committed some romantic faux pas that I didn’t know about until a few hours ago, while Lyra was upset because she thought I broke up with her! To top it off, she was so distraught she wouldn’t even let me get a word in edgewise. It was the kind of thing that I had absolutely zero experience with. How was I supposed to handle this if she wouldn’t listen?

And then my own thoughts began to betray me, on top of it.

Why do you even care? they asked, You never wanted to be with her in the first place. She’s annoying! Just leave, already. You have better things to do.

But I couldn’t. I did have a conscience, after all. I couldn’t bear to see somepony that I knew, that I maybe cared about a little, be so destroyed by my actions. It was illogical. It was asinine. It went against everything that I had known about my world up to this point. Vaguely aware that Lyra was still babbling on as I was lost in thought, I grabbed her with my magic.

She squeaked as I lifted her up, her limbs flailing in the air. I set her down on the floor beside me, and in shock, she fell on her haunches. She stared at me in confusion. Good. I finally had her attention. I did the only thing I could think of to convey my thoughts to her.

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

Both our faces bore a bright blush as I pulled back. I heard a chorus of awws from behind us, and with a shock of terror I turned around to see that the entire clientele were looking at us with smiles. How it was possible, I had no idea, but my blush grew more saturated. I noticed that Cadance had her hooves pressed against her cheek as I turned around, and I could almost swear her pupils had been replaced by hearts.

Just breathe, Twilight. Ignore them.

I looked back toward Lyra, whose eyes were still wide open in shock, her mind utterly broken.

“Lyra?”

“Huh?” she responded, continuing her stare.

“Are you okay?”

She shook her head clear and looked at me. “Yeah. I just…wasn’t expecting that. Does this mean…”

I nodded.

A smile started growing on her face. That smile quickly grew a mile wide, and I felt nervous for a fraction of a second. But then she simply hugged me, and even had the wherewithal not to overdo it, which I was very grateful for.

“Thank you, Twilight.”

“Uhm, you’re welcome?”

I patted her mane awkwardly as she continued to hug me. What was I supposed to do?

Thankfully, I was saved as Princess Cadance returned to our table, her grin still plastered in place.

“I see everything turned out fine.”

Lyra released me and looked up. “Uh-huh. Did you… I mean, Twilight’s here, and, uh…”

Cadance laughed and nodded. “I may have had something to do with Twilight realizing that she wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t put a single word into her mouth.”

Lyra smiled up at her gratefully. “Thank you, princess. I’m sorry I gave you trouble earlier. I should have known that humans were something Celestia would only trust herself with.”

Cadance pointedly ignored her last comment. “It’s quite alright. I’m just glad that you made up.”

“I think it was just a big misunderstanding,” I added, “But now we know better, I think.” I suddenly realized that there was something I had meant to ask Cadance before this whole issue even came up. “Oh, I had meant to ask you. Is Lyra my marefriend? I’m not sure how to properly define the terminology.”

She smirked. “I don’t know. Is she, Lyra?”

Lyra giggled and put her foreleg around my shoulder. “You bet your pink princess plot she is!”

Cadance raised an eyebrow, and Lyra seemed to suddenly realize what she had said. “I mean, um… Yes?”

She let go of me and squirmed a little bit as Cadance’s expression didn’t change. However, after a moment of discomfort, the princess laughed openly, causing Lyra to relax.

“It’s fine, Lyra. In fact, I seem to remember one time, shortly after Twilight became Princess Celestia’s student…”

“That everything went fine and nopony said anything stupid!” I interjected hastily. I knew what story she was about to tell—it was one of her favorites.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that…” she smiled wickedly. “I seem to remember a certain purple filly asking the Princess of the Sun if her rotund plot was a symptom of alicorn biology, or just excessive cake. She even recommended a book on proper pony dieting.”

I groaned and slammed my head down on the table as she and Lyra burst out laughing.

“She really said that?” Lyra asked, giggling.

“Oh yes, she did. And that’s just the beginning. I was Twilight’s foalsitter, if you didn’t know. I have dozens of stories and hundreds of pictures.” I banged my head repeatedly against the table. “I even have a whole photo album of them.”

Lyra rubbed my back encouragingly, but continued to laugh. “I might have to buy that off of you. It would be a prime addition to my bookshelf.”

I jerked my head up, eyes wide. Her words clicked into place in my brain, bringing forth a rushing torrent of epiphanies. Universal language. Necessary ordering. Leading phrase. I jumped out of my seat and stared at Lyra with the focus of an ineffable force of nature. My mannerisms seemed to shock my friends, but I had more important things to worry about.

“Twilight, we were just joking. It’s okay,” Cadance tried to reassure me. I paid her no attention.

“I need to get back to my room. Thank you, Cadance. See you later, Lyra.”

I dashed out of the coffee shop and fast as I possibly could, leaving two bewildered mares behind me. I had it. I could feel it.

The answer was prime addition.

I was so close…

Author's Note

I'm aware that llamas are native to South America, not Asia, but the pun was too good to pass up.

Cherub is an homage to the character in The Queen of Hearts, by Pumpernickel Rye

Prologue

A cloaked figure trudged down the wet gravel path, her hooves sinking slightly into the sludge. Before her stood a cold stone fortress, set into the side of a dusty hill. It sat in complete darkness, distinguished from the twilight only by a torch burning at the gate of its stone perimeter and its massive silhouette. The figure trotted with desperate purpose to face the overbearing gate, which stood silently as a malevolent boundary of wood and bronze. The fierce wind bit at her muzzle; the cold seemed to be overbearing of late. She hesitated, shaking from the gravity of the situation before her, or perhaps just the unseasonal chill.

She looked up at the enormous gate, the fire of torches on the interior seeping through small cracks and giving the illusion of hellfire on the other side. She steeled herself, remembering the importance of what she was there to do.

“Hello?” she called out with a shaking voice. A wooden slot slammed back, and she felt a pair of eyes glaring through it.

“Who goes there?”

“I wish to speak to the officer of the watch.”

“This is he. What do you want?”

“It’s me—Clover.”

The gruff tone of the guardpony relaxed. “About damn time you showed up. I’m taking a big risk, you know. You have the money?”

“Y-yes,” Clover replied, “Let me in and I’ll give it to you.”

The guard hesitated. “Alright, but hurry up about it.”

The guard opened the towering wooden gate just wide enough for Clover to squeeze through. She glanced at him as she entered, ensuring it was the same one that Princess Platinum told her about—brown unicorn stallion, hoplite spear cutie mark. He struck a match in his muzzle and lit a torch hanging from a bracket near the gate.

“This better not be a bucking trick,” he growled, “I’m staking my life on this. If it wasn’t Princess Platinum herself that approached me…”

“I promise you, it’s not a trick. Look, here’s the money.” Clover fished a large bag of silver from her saddlebags, and dropped it by the guard’s hooves. “Look, three-hundred tetradrachm, as promised. Have you kept up your end of the bargain?”

The guard scooped up the bag of silver and tucked it away. “Yeah, the rest of the guards have passed out on wine laced with the drug you sent me. They’ll live, right?”

“Absolutely. They’ll be very hungover in the morning, however.”

“Good enough. Grab the torch, let’s get this over with. I’m going to move quickly, so try to keep up.”

Clover levitated the lit torch in her magic and followed the guard pony into the dark of the ancient prison. They passed through more sets of massive gates, their chains already unlocked and open. The guard galloped quickly ahead, flying through the dark before her, navigating the catacombs through memory. Clover had to sprint to keep up with him, torch waving haphazardly in her magical grasp.

She tried to remember the path that they took. Right turn…left…straight…straight…second stairwell… However, it was impossible. The entire complex was set up like a maze, likely to keep prisoners in and rescuers out. They rushed by many cells, the unfortunate inhabitants reaching out at her, begging for freedom, or food, or a kind word. Clover almost stopped as a mare reached a dirty hoof spotted with leprosy out at her, asking for news of her only foal, before the guard gruffly shouted at her to continue. They twisted through the mass of stone, bronze and begging ponies, deeper and deeper into the darkness. In what seemed like the darkest depths of the prison, surely a floor above Tartarus itself, the guard stopped in front of an ancient wooden door. Clover scooted to a halt, panting heavily.

“This is the cell,” the guard informed, “You know the way back, right?”

“No! I can’t… I need you to guide us. He’s very ill.”

“I wasn’t paid enough to be seen with you…” the guard grumbled.

“Please, just wait for us. I’ll make sure Princess Platinum pays you extra.”

“Ugh… Very well. But hurry up about it. Here’s the key.”

Clover took the twisted bronze key out of the guard’s magical grasp. With a deep breath, she plunged it into the lock of the door before them. She thrust it open and leaped inside the cell, illuminating every corner of the cell in desperate search for the one she was looking for. She immediately spotted a wizened old stallion hunched in the back corner, clothed in sackcloth.

“Starswirl!” she cried, nearly dropping the torch as she leaped to hug her mentor. She was taken aback at just how thin and frail he felt as he returned her embrace weakly.

“I thought you might come, my friend,” he whispered.

“You’re so thin! Have they been feeding you? Never mind, we need to get out of here. Can you walk? Are you too ill? We have to get moving!”

“Calm down, Clover. We must talk. Did you happen to bring a tablet and stylus?”

“Of course; I never go anywhere without them. But aren’t you curious as to how or why I’m here? Princess Platinum paid to bribe the guards so I can get you out. Come on, Starswirl, you’re free!”

To her surprise, Starswirl smiled, but didn’t move. “Nopony is truly free, Clover. We are all slaves to our existence, even the princess, especially the princess. The more you have on earth, the more you will miss it. Power is that which allows one to have some control over that to which they are powerless. Every motivation, every action is in the pursuit of power, and the powerful only find themselves yearning for control over the impossible.”

“You’re not making sense…”

“It matters not. However, there is something I wish for you to record, in due time. But I suppose the first item of discussion is the immediate situation. I suppose I should say it frankly—I’m not leaving.”

“But... Starswirl! They’re going to make you drink poison tomorrow! You can’t stay here!”

“I am aware of that. I was at the trial, after all.” He chuckled faintly before seriousness fell upon his face. “No, I am a philosopher, and I will not give in to the fear of punishment over my ideas. A philosopher is born when one signs the death warrant of their own life, and lives outside the realms of common existence. Threatening my existence cannot kill my ideas, because I have been born outside of society.”

“Starswirl…”

“But I have good news, my apprentice. The question that I have spent so many years trying to answer will come to me tonight.”

“The Meaning of Life? I would have thought that you would abandon those mad attempts by now. There is no such thing.”

He laughed. “One cannot simply ignore a question, Clover; it is not in the true philosopher’s capacity. I have been wondering why He hasn’t yet shown me what He promised, but I have discovered the reason—the spell I cast was not complete.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to cast another spell. For your friends, if nothing else, you need to stop this. The last spell cost you your eyesight!”

The blind philosopher smiled in the dark. “A small price for the meaning behind our existence. All things require sacrifice, and in my foolish attachment to my life, I have not offered enough to Him for the truth. I will now offer it all.”

“Starswirl, please!” Clover begged, tears lining her eyes, “Just come with me. We can discuss magic, like before. We’ll run away to Helicaharness, we’ll be happy again! Don’t cast another spell!”

“Worry not, my apprentice. Tomorrow, I may be dead, but I will be whole. Now take out your tablet and stylus, and write down my words. I wish to inscribe my final spell for the wisest ponies of the future.”

Clover hesitated. “I don’t think that’s wise. Look at the damage this madness has done to you already.”

“Worry not, for I am not so foolhardy to write down the most powerful and dangerous spell ever created in plain language. I will recite the code, and you will write it down. If any pony in the future is wise enough to solve my riddle, then maybe they’re ready to see the Meaning of Life.”

“But…”

“Clover! If you ever cared for me, you will write this down!”

She sighed heavily, but readied her stylus at the corner of the wax tablet. “Ready.”

“Very well, write this down as I say it.”

Starswirl began to recite letters very carefully, every care taken into enunciating each one despite his frailty. Clover dutifully wrote down every letter that Starswirl spoke, even as his voice grew raspy and weak. Her magical aura was unsteady and more than one tear spilled onto her tablet, running down over the surface of the wax. The torch burned weaker and the impatient sounds of the guard could be heard outside the cell. As Starswirl finished his recitation, he slumped down even farther onto the floor than he already was. “Go, Clover, write down this code… into my anthology…”

Clover tucked the tablet and stylus back into her saddlebags. “Please, will you reconsider coming with me? Aristrotle and Xenopone are waiting outside the prison. They’ll be really disappointed. No, they’ll be devastated.”

He smiled weakly. “Ahh, yes. They are bright lads. They will look to you when I am gone, Clover. You are a clever mare, but I feel there is still much for you to learn. Now I must rest. I have a spell to cast tonight, and I need my strength.”

A sob rose from the bottom of Clover’s chest, and tears ran in rivers down her cheeks. “I’ll miss you, teacher.”

“I’m not your teacher anymore. You are now the teacher, and the most clever pony I know, so I now name you as such. Goodbye, Clover the Clever.”

“Goodbye, Starswirl the Bearded. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Clover spun around and exited the dark stone prison cell in a torrent of emotion. The guard had been leaning against the wall in annoyance, but looked up in surprise as Clover shut the cell door quietly behind her.

“What’s going on? Where’s the stallion.”

“He’s not coming.”

“Really? Well, I’m keeping the money.”

“That’s fine,” she replied listlessly, “Show me the way out, and try to walk a little slower this time.”

“Whatever you say.”

The guard started walking up the twisted stone stairs. As Clover began to follow, she cast a glance back at the wooden door from which she had just egressed, and her thoughts drifted to the pony that sat behind it.

It was the last time anyone ever saw Starswirl the Bearded.

Chapter Three

Critius, Chapter λ

“It was then that the philosopher Starswirl the Bearded gave into his own madness. That which started as a seed, planted in his mind by unknown consciousness, hath fruited into a tree of great stature. The sanity of his speech declined, and he gave opinions on matters that were beyond the view of those who did not count themselves among the ranks of the genius, or the insane.

“Perhaps his most absurd, and retrospectively well-known, idea was that there existed a kingdom of strange creatures. He told both your writer and his closest confidants of the great human kingdom. As one might expect, this tale’s coherency suffered from the plague of illogicalities, and I am quite sure that many fairy tales and other thoughts pervade his narrative. It is the tale of Atlantis.

“This is my own name for it, for he changed the name of the kingdom with every retelling. He claimed that this kingdom knew the Meaning of Life more than any other. However, it did them little good, for they did not realize what their understanding amounted to. The king had decided to slaughter all of his people, for reasons I do not fully understand. Eventually, there were so few humans left that they lost their ability to raise the sun. The last human walked the land in sadness, and regret.

“In every retelling, he mentioned a character by the name of ‘Venus Blue’, of whose significance changes. The only thing that remains consistent about this character is the song that accompanies her appearance. (Editor’s note: See Timaeus)”

Timaeus. The princess had mentioned earlier today that there was information in it about Atlantis, as well. I scanned the short section of my personal bookshelf containing Clover the Clever’s work. Damn it. Unfortunately, it appears I would have to go back to the Royal Archives and get a copy.

A quiet knock came from my door. “Come in!” I called.

The door opened and Princess Celestia came into my room, a reserved smile on your face.

“Good evening, Twilight. I see you’re getting a lot of studying done, as usual.”

“Yes, princess.” I got up from my desk and bowed slightly. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, I’m sure there’s a few things. For one, have you seen Spike around?”

I glanced back to his bed basket. With a small note of panic, I noticed that he wasn’t there. Where had he gone?

“I don’t know. He might be in the bathroom. I’ll go check,” I said, trying to quiet the panic rising in my chest. After my failures of that morning, I didn’t want the princess to think I was so irresponsible that I would lose track of a child, as well.

“It’s quite alright, Twilight. I’ve had Spike doing errands for me this afternoon. He claims he told you.”

“I—” To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have noticed if he did. I’ve been told (mostly by the princess) that I can become dead to the world while engrossed in a book. I usually don’t see why that’s such a bad thing. I hung my head.

“It’s okay, Twilight,” the princess laughed, “Spike is fine. However, there is the matter of the order I gave you this morning, concerning what you were to do tonight.”

Oh yeah. Going out with that crazy unicorn. To be honest, I was hoping the princess would forget about it, or Lyra would. She hadn’t stopped by again, so I kind of thought that she had taken my non-answer as a rejection. Then I could tell the princess that she cancelled. Ugh, the best laid plans…

“I’m sure you’ve been doing something important and it slipped your mind,” she continued, “I took the liberty of having Spike track down Lyra Heartstrings and letting her know you graciously accepted her invitation.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. She will be by to pick you up at eight o’clock.” She glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner. “Which is about half an hour from now. I thought I would give you a friendly reminder so you would have time to get ready.”

I closed Critius in frustration. Maybe a little more frustration than I had intended to show, but the princess graciously ignored me. I got up from my chair and headed for the bathroom.

“Where am I going to be meeting her?” I grumbled.

“I’ve instructed the guards to let Lyra come get you here,” the princess called as I grabbed my toothbrush, “I expect to hear all about your night tomorrow morning. Friendship isn’t just for the ponies with, ahem, ‘vapid social lives’, as I believe you usually call it.”

I heard soft hoofsteps as the princess left my room. I was continuing to complain to myself inside my head as I brushed my teeth. The door slowly squeaked open, then the hoofsteps stopped briefly.

“And Twilight?” Princess Celestia called.

“Mm?”

“Do try to have fun.”

“Mm.”

The door shut quietly. I spit my toothpaste out into the sink. Stupid princess. Stupid Lyra. Stupid friendship. At best, this night was going to be the most boring in my life. At worst, the most annoying. Lyra didn’t even tell me where we were going; I guess I was too tired and annoyed to really bother asking.

Oh no, she was going to take me to some human conspiracy theorist meeting, wasn’t she? Where else would she go on a Friday night? I can just see myself there now, sitting in the back of room as crazy, bug-eyed ponies spouted off their ridiculous “proof” that the government’s hiding evidence from then. Then everypony would look at me as Lyra introduced me as the princess’s student. I would have to stand up and say “Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle and I’m a human-believing nutjob.” “Hello, Twilight!” And then I would have to go into stupid mode and lie about believing in humans. Of course, my natural inclination would be to present archeological and historic fact disproving their “theories”, but then I’d probably get lynched from the giant hand statue they worship every night.

You know, my imagination tends to get away from me on occasion. Maybe I need to calm down, do some reading. Reading always calms everypony down. I walked back to the bookshelf and pulled out “An Enigmatic Mind: How Starswirl the Bearded enlightened our world and darkened his own”. It was the quintessential contemporary biography on the philosopher. I’ve read it several times before, naturally, but I wanted to refresh my memory on the circumstances of his final days. I skimmed through the last chapter, starting myself off at a random paragraph; I didn’t have time to read the whole things, after all. Stupid Lyra.

“There are contradictions in the historical record pertaining to Starswirl’s death. The conventional consensus is that Starswirl angered the ruling government and was forced to commit suicide by ingestion of poison hemlock. This is the account as written in Clover the Clever’s Euthyphro.

“However, there are some contradicting accounts. According to Xenopone, Starswirl went missing from prison on the night before his forced suicide was to take place. He suggested that an associate of Starswirl’s might have bribed the guards to let him go, this started Starswirl’s life in exile. There is…”

“Whatcha reading there, Twilight?” A voice asked from behind me.

Turning around, I found myself gazing into the amber eyes of Lyra Heartstrings. She wore a curious, happy expression, and she carried case of some sort that was strapped to her back. I instinctively threw a glance at the clock; she wasn’t due for another ten minutes. I turned back towards her with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah… I had to come to the castle a little early. I had to do something before I came and got you,” she said, reading my expression, “I guess it didn’t take as long as I thought it would.”

“What…”

“I’ll tell you later,” she smiled, “Come on, the show starts at eight thirty, and I want to get there before it starts.”

I put my book back onto the shelf as I followed her out the door. “Show? Are we going to see one of those new moving pictures? You know, I really don’t see the appeal myself. I mean, yeah, D. W. Griffon’s work is pretty amazing, if racist, but besides him I…”

“No, we’re not going to a movie,” she laughed, “We’re going to a bar.”

“A show at a bar?” I frowned. Mental images of Lyra sitting by a projector showing slide after slide of fuzzy human “evidence” to drunk, cheering conspiracy theorists flashed through my mind. “What kind of show?”

“It’s like an open mic night. Anypony who wants to recite poetry or sing or dance or do whatever just goes up and performs. I usually play there every week.”

“You play an instrument? So that’s what’s in the case.”

“Yep, that’s my lyre. You think my cutie mark means I’m Irish or something?”

“Irish? What’s that?”

“Nevermind. I’ve played the lyre ever since I was a little filly.”

I was shocked, to say the least. As we walked out of the castle proper and through the gardens, I was beginning to feel the slightest bit of relief. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad, after all. Okay, well maybe it’ll be bad, but at least it won’t be boring. Although I couldn’t afford a gramophone, I always enjoyed going to concertos with the princess. Maybe she knew something about tonight that I didn’t. I smiled to myself—that would be just like her.

“Whatcha smiling about?” Lyra asked me.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought that I’d be going to some weird thing about humans or something.”

“You don’t think that’s all I do, do you? Nah, it’s just a hobby. It’s fun, you know? Trying to find out stuff that nopony else knows so that someday they’ll look back and say ‘You know what? That pony wasn’t as crazy as I thought.’ At least, I can fantasize, right?”

“Yeah,” I laughed in spite of myself, “I’m not sure about your chances, though.”

She smiled good-naturedly. “Oh well. We should never seek knowledge just for the sake of other ponies. We should do it because we want to, whether that be for fun or betterment or just for the hell of it.”

“You know what, Lyra? You’re not so bad.”

“Thanks?”

“I mean… you’re a lot deeper than I thought.”

She grinned at my complement. “What about you, Twilight Sparkle? What do you do besides being the princess’s student?”

“I—” What kind of a question was that? I liked to study, I guess, but that kind of goes under the category of ‘student’. I had no idea what she wanted me to say, so I just started blurting out whatever came to mind. “Nachos are my favorite food. Uhm, I really idolize the princess; she’s the most majestic pony I’ve ever met. My favorite musical period is baroque.” I glanced sideways at her to see if I was boring her with my rambling, but she was merely smiling and nodding. “I have a brother who’s a lieutenant in the royal guard. Uhm… my old foalsitter is Princess Cadence. I guess that’s interesting?”

“I guess it is kind of a hard question to ask. How much can a pony really explain everything about them, anyway? They probably wouldn’t even know which parts were the best, anyway. You know what I think is really great about you, Twilight?”

I shrugged.

“You will always try your absolute best at whatever you do. You, um, you don’t remember me, do you?”

“From that dress shop last year? Where you accosted me about keeping the truth from the public?”

“No, not that. You were actually in my class in magic elementary school. Remember?”

To be honest, no. I could only smile sheepishly at her.

“That’s alright,” she replied, never breaking her smile, “I wasn’t very memorable. I was just your average, dumb kid. You, on the other hoof, wow. You stuck out like a sore thumb.”

“Thumb?”

“What I mean is that you were a prodigy among imbeciles, Moondancer being the possible exception. You’d raise your hoof and ask questions the rest of us couldn’t even begin to fathom. Remember that project where we had to build a diorama of a buffalo teepee?”

“Yeah, I remember that,” I laughed.

“I wrapped some paper around some pencils like everybody else in class. You, though. I don’t even know how you did it. You had real canvass and you even made miniature grass to set it on. How did you even do that?”

“I learned a cutting spell and cut all the grass down to size and glued them all in place.”

“That’s amazing.”

I blushed slightly. “It wasn’t that much. The grass wasn’t the appropriate size for the Great Plains, and Cadance helped me a little bit.”

“Pssh. Stop being so modest. I’ve never met anypony else like you, Twilight Sparkle.”

I looked away, embarrassed and kept walking. After I moment, I noticed that Lyra had stopped. I turned around and looked at her questioningly. She stared straight into mine, her amber eyes lit up with happiness.

“You really are special, you know,” she continued, blushing slightly, “I know it. Princess Celestia knows it. I hope you know it, too.”

“I—” What was I supposed to supposed to say to that? I know? Uhm, thanks? I was saved from the awkwardness as she turned and looked toward the building we currently stood in front of. It was had no identifying signs and would have been completely inconsequential to anypony who wasn’t already going there. I looked at it hesitantly. There was no other word for it—it was seedy.

“This is the place,” Lyra said.

With some trepidation, I followed her as she trotted up to the door. The windows on either side of it appeared to have been spray-painted black, making the entire building appear as if there was no light coming from it. She pushed open the door and beckoned me into a tiny, empty hallway. As soon as we entered, I could hear the quiet roar of ponies coming from above us. Lyra gestured toward a rickety set of stairs, and I ascended. All along either wall of the narrow staircase were torn posters of local musicians of many different genres. I reached a black wooden door at the top and pushed it open.

My ears were instantly assaulted by the cacophony of hundreds of ponies holding dozens of conversations, each trying to be heard over the din. A dark-coated stallion sat on a stool beside the door. He looked over at the two of us entering.

“Over or under?” he asked in a bored voice.

“What?”

“Under,” Lyra responded. Putting her muzzle up to my ear, she whispered, “Hold out your hoof.”

I did as I was instructed and held out my hoof with her. The stallion grabbed a golden pen off a nearby podium and wrote a big, red ‘X’ on our hooves.

“No alcohol, no reentry,” he droned.

The nerve of that guy! I opened my mouth to give a vehement protest to the marking of my skin, but Lyra gently pushed me further into the bar.

“Why the hell did he do that?” I complained.

“It’s because we’re not old enough to drink. He made a magic mark on our hooves that will let the bartender know we can’t have alcohol. Don’t worry, it goes away as soon as we leave.”

“Really? Does every bar do this?”

“Only the ones that let minors in. If I had said ‘Over’, he would have used a different pen that would have turned red only if we were underage. Those don’t go away, and the guard keeps a lookout for minors who try to lie their way into bars. When I was younger, I got into trouble because I tried to cheat the system. I covered my hoof in glue, thinking I could peel the ink off with the glue after I got in.”

“That didn’t work?”

“Apparently, somepony’s tried that before, so there’s a failsafe built in.”

“Nihil sub sole novum.”

“What?”

“Oh, sorry. ‘There is nothing new under the sun’. King Solomane said it.”

As Lyra looked around the bar, I looked at the X on my hoof with newfound interest. I wondered how they did it. Was it an age spell of some sort? But then they would have to combine it with a location-detecting spell, which would be quite tricky. The ingenuity of ponies never ceased to amaze me.

“Come on, let’s find a seat as close to the stage as possible,” Lyra said as she grabbed my hoof, “I want you to be able to be able to hear when I go on.”

I let the mare lead me through the crowd. Nobody bothered to cast anything beyond annoyed glances as she pushed past everypony. Miraculously, we found a table near the front, only two rows back from the stage. She pulled out a chair for me, grinning all the while. Despite how uncomfortable I was being around so many ponies, I couldn’t help but smile as well at how happy she was. She sat down next to me and poked me playfully in the abdomen.

“I bet you’ve never seen any place like this before, huh?”

“I can’t say I have,” I admitted. I looked around. Apparently there were quite a few ponies who had decided to get a head start on things, and were already quite drunk. A few of them were even stumbling about so badly that they were spilling their drinks. “I’ve been to a few places like this, but they were academic lectures and nopony drank that much.”

“Yeah, this is a whole different circus. That other thing sounds pretty boring.”

I gasped. “Not at all! One of the scientists presented his thesis on the electroluminescence of elements as it pertains to the new idea of quantum theory. Why…”

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” she interrupted, “But I have no idea what electroluminescence is. Or quantum theory for that matter. Would you enjoy it if I took you to a human theory meeting or something like that?”

“No.”

“Exactly, because you don’t know anything about it. That’s why poetry is so important.”

“You can’t learn anything from poetry…” I mumbled.

“To the contrary. Poetry is art, and like all good art, it illustrates philosophy. Art is there to help us understand life.”

“Huh.” I never thought of it like that before. It was true, that many of the great classical writers talked about something universal, like life and death, love and loss, happiness and regret. Maybe I could try to actually learn something.

Well, I could hope, anyway.

“I’m going to get some food. Be right back.”

“You need some bits?” I asked.

“No, that’s okay. I invited you out, remember? I’m happy to treat you.”

With that, she took off towards the bar. Even as she did, the lights in the room started dimming, and the dull roar of conversation around me faded into excited susurration. All eyes turned toward the stage, and mine with them. A pegasus stallion wearing a flashy green suit danced onto the stage, his smile a mile wide.

“Good evening, mares and gentlecolts!” he cried.

“Meh,” the audience mumbled back.

“I think someponies need to have another drink!” he said, his grin never fading, “Tonight is our weekly open mic night. We have a lot of new and familiar acts for you, but there’s still room on the list, so let the guy at the soundboard know if you want to strut your stuff on stage. Let’s see.” He consulted a clipboard nailed to the wall. “Our first act is going to be Carrot Top, who will be reading us some poetry!”

A polite applause rang out as a nervous looking earth pony mare walked onto stage, holding a sheet of paper in her mouth. She sat down on the stool in front of the microphone and gulped audibly. She transferred the paper from her mouth to her hooves and whispered into the microphone.

“My name is Carrot Top, and this is a poem.

“Water flows across the ground
Dancing through the hills and mounds
Dirt lays upon the Earth
Almost useless in its worth

“Blowing wind flows through my mane
On its own, just dry and plain
Bright sun shining in my eyes
Brought by the princess, strong and wise

Sprouts shoot up toward the sky
So that they may feed you and I.”

Ughhhhh…….

As Carrot Top timidly slipped off the stool and made her way offstage, a polite smattering of applause rang out. Well, except for the really drunk stallion near the back, who shouted “Boo! The real Carrot Top is more entertaining than you!” I would have felt bad for her, but she said “you and I” when the objective pronoun “me” should have been used. I had no sympathy.

Lyra levitated a plate of nachos in front of me, and my mood lightened considerably. She slid into the seat next to me. I munched on them gratefully. Oh Celestia, I love nachos so much. That Lyra girl wasn’t that bad, I guess.

“I thought you said poetry was art,” I pointed out dryly, “What did that…” I gestured wildly at the stage, “…teach me about life?”

Lyra smiled apologetically. “I said good art teaches you about life. Somepony needs to teach her about emotions and stuff, I think. Not bad to look at though.”

I shrugged. “I guess.”

“Well, yeah, she’s no supermodel, but she’s alright. I’d hit it.”

“Lyra!”

“What? I’m just being honest.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to come out and just say it…”

“You’re not…homophobic, are you?”

“No, I’m not. I don’t really think about romance and se…stuff. I’ve got better things to do than trying to chase romance and end up running around in circles like everypony else.”

“To each their own,” Lyra commented, “But maybe you should give it a try sometime. Sometimes having a pony around to give you emotional support and take an interest in your life can really make you happier.”

“I’m good,” I said as casually as I could, even though I was squirming with discomfort inside. Why was she talking about this? I tried to change the subject. “So if you’re not one to care about poems about farming, what else is there?”

“I have to admit, usually the poetry at these kinds of things are either really bad or really pretentious. The music isn’t bad though. If all else fails, you always have my act to look forward to. I don’t like to toot my own horn…” She giggled. “…but I’m not too bad a musician. Plus, I’ve planned something special.”

“Oh?”

“Yep! I’ve picked tonight’s song especially for you.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I said awkwardly.

“Don’t mention it!”

I turned my attention back toward the stage. A unicorn stallion sat on the stool now, holding a guitar. He plucked a few strings with his hoof, carefully listening to the sound they each made, adjusting the pegheads as he did. After he was satisfied, he gripped the neck in his magic, simultaneously pressing down on frets along its entire length. He carefully picked at the strings with his hoof, bringing forth musical harmony that was very mellowing.

“He’s really good at this,” Lyra whispered, “It’s not as easy as it looks to pick individual strings like that.”

I nodded. It was certainly easy to see that. I had nowhere near the hoof-eye coordination to play an instrument. I had great respect for those who could. I sometimes accompanied the princess to a concert, and though I feigned being upset at being away from my books, I secretly greatly enjoyed them. This event, though no orchestra, had the additional benefit of nachos.

“I’m up next, by the way.”

Nodding in acknowledgement, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the carefully picked notes of the minstrel on the stage. I could see why Lyra enjoyed things like this so much. It was almost as if the music was talking to me in its own language. I felt the chair beside me rustle, and noticed that she had grabbed her case and started walking toward the stage stairs. The stallion on stage hit his final tremolo and got up with a bow and raucas applause. The host jumped back on stage with his unwavering smile.

“That was Gibson Grey, everypony. Give him a round of applause!” He turned toward the clipboard and checked the list. “Next is a familiar face to the regulars here. It’s Lyra Heartstrings and her lyre!”

More applause rang out. Apparently Lyra was somewhat of a hit around this place. At least that meant she was good and wasn’t going to play songs about carrots or something. She grinned and waved before sitting herself on the stool and giving the lyre a few experimental plucks with her golden aura. She quickly transitioned into a soft tune, a combination of chords and individual notes to the effect of a very sad, haunting melody. The crowd was quiet, enraptured. Before long, she started singing lyrics that were every bit as melancholic as the melody.

The last line rang out in my mind like the resonating tone of a medieval church bell. Venus Blue? The words echoed through my memory of reading them that very same day. What was Starswirl’s obsession with this character? How did Lyra know about it? Did it have something to do with the Meaning of Life? Such a thing sounded preposterous, of course. The Meaning of Life is consistent across everything that lives, so how could a single individual affect it?

I was distracted from my thoughts by the sound of silence. Lyra had stopped playing and stood up to take a bow. The ponies around me continued to watch her with respect in every one of their eyes. Slowly, but steadily, applause started to crescendo. No cheering, no catcalling, just applause. She trotted off the stage and dived into her seat, grinning widely at me.

“Whatd’ya think?”

“It was… Lyra, that was really good. How did you know about Venus Blue?”

“I’m surprised you don’t. Starswirl the Bearded was the first one who mentioned her, after all.”

“I haven’t gotten around to reading too much about it yet. How do you about it?”

“The lyrics are in Timaeus. Clover said that Starswirl himself came up with them, but the melody was only recently invented. It was…”

Our conversation was interrupted by the appearance of a grey mare on stage. It seemed a steady neutral expression was chiseled onto her face. She didn’t bother sitting on the stool, but walked straight up to the microphone and started reciting her poetry.

“Grey. Hard. Strong. Old.
You are great. You are powerful.
You are rock.”

“Let’s get out of here,” I blurted.

“Right behind you,” Lyra replied.

We weaved our way through the crowd, who were all staring at the stage, a mixture of emotion on their faces. We passed by the pony at the door and down the narrow stairs. Just as we were about to exit the building, we heard an eruption of cheering and applause from upstairs.

I can never understand ponies.

The streets weren’t near as busy as they had been when we first set out for the evening. It wasn’t quite at the hour where they were deserted, but there were noticeably fewer, and noticeably drunker, ponies about. I looked toward my host for the evening, wondering if she was done for the night.

“Sorry about that,” Lyra said, “It’s usually not that bad. You, uhm… want to get some coffee or something?”

“I shouldn’t really be having caffeine so late. Plus, I promised the princess I’d talk to her tomorrow morning.”

“Please?” Her eyes widened pleadingly as amber irises begged me to capitulate. I was helpless.

“I guess. Fine,” I grumbled.

“Yay!” she exclaimed, grabbing my hooves and pulling me up on my hind legs while doing a little dance. I couldn’t help but smile. As unbelievably annoying as she was, she could be adorable sometimes. I mean, nevermind. She gently dropped me down and trotted forward. “Come on, my favorite coffee house is a block this way!”

I followed after her as she led with enthusiasm, her lyre case that was strapped to her back bouncing in her rhythmic pace. After a few minutes of silence, the reached a plain brick building, much like many on the dark street. A small sign, just barely visible in the light of the oil lantern street lamps, read simply “Coffee”. Lyra deftly pushed the door open and beckoned me in. I did as she directed and entered the smoky, dimly lit interior.

It was then that I realized what kind of a coffee house it was. Every table was occupied by two, exactly two, ponies, each pair attached at the hip. They whispered into each other’s ears, hooves wrapped around waists, giggling, drinking, laughing, kissing… I could feel my face flushing. I hope it wasn’t giving Lyra the wrong impression. I was flushing out of embarrassment, not anything else. I mean, yeah, I was enjoying myself more than I thought I would, but not that much. I sat down stiffly at an empty table, my mind in a fog as to what to say.

“I’ll go get us some coffee,” she said as she went to the register.

How was I supposed to tell her I wasn’t interested in romance without making things awkward? What if she started snuggling up to me when she came back? That would get really weird, really fast. Yes, she’s a nice mare, and she’s not as strange as I first expected, but whether she be mare or stallion, strange or normal, I wasn’t into it. I would just have to tell it to her straight, and hope I was somehow tactful enough not to make this awkward.

Yeah, right.

Lyra levitated a small cup of coffee onto the table in front of me. I looked up at her nervously, but she simply smiled kindly as she sat down across the table from me, rather than next to me. I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“I thought this was, I don’t know, a couple’s place or something.”

“What made you think that?” Lyra asked. I gestured to the store in general. She looked around and blushed slightly. “Oh, that. I guess that’s just a weekend thing. It’s usually not near as crowded in here during the day.”

“You come here that often?”

“I guess you could say that,” Lyra smiled, “Seeing as how I work here.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I didn’t think you the barista type.”

“What did you think I did?”

“Honestly, I thought you played for a living. You’re really good with the lyre.”

“Thanks! I love music. It’s the best way to express your feelings, or to understand what somepony else is feeling. A single chord can express more emotion that a hundred words.”

“I suppose. I still think it’s more effective to just express with words. Words can be easily repeated and quantified; music changes with everypony that hears it.”

She looked at me with mild annoyance. “And that’s what makes it so great! Music is more than what it is because the listener adds their own emotions to it. There are some things that words just can’t express. Take the song I played tonight, for example. When you heard it, what was the first emotion that came to mind?”

“…sadness.”

She smiled. “And do you know what ‘Venus Blue’ was about?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “You said it had something to do with humans, and that Starswirl the Bearded wrote about it.”

“Yes, it’s a song about the last human kingdom…”

“Atlantis?”

“I’m impressed, Twilight—I had no idea you knew about Atlantis.”

“I did some reading earlier.”

“I can see that. Anyway, Starswirl said that when this song was sung, they were the last words ever uttered by a human. It’s the last human song, a song of sorrow.”

“Really? How did he know this?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he ever wrote it down; this is all secondhand from ponies who knew him or from historical hearsay. I was kind of hoping to find out if he said something about it in that book we found in the library yesterday.”

“Yeah, it’s too bad we lost it.”

She bore an unreadable expression on her face, and we sipped our coffees in silence for a few minutes. I had so many questions about Starswirl and his strange obsessions at the end of his life, but it was getting late, and the coffee didn’t do much to awaken my tiring brain. Besides, I could probably find out more by finishing my reading than asking Lyra about his human obsession—that would be like asking a fox about the ethics of raiding chicken coops.

“It’s getting late,” I noted as I tossed away my empty coffee cup.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” she said while disposing of her own, “Can I walk you back to the castle?”

“I know the way,” I responded obliviously.

“Aw, come on! I have something I wanted to give you.”

“I guess.” She squealed and walked alongside me as I made my way back home. Truth be told, I was curious as to what she could possibly be giving me. I had seen the inside of her lyre case when she played it, she didn’t have anything else in there besides a few bits. She wasn’t wearing saddlebags, so whatever she meant to give me, she didn’t have it. I thought about it for a few minutes, but I found that my eyes began to droop, and my brain found itself too busy just focusing on staying awake. Our journey was relatively quick, and we soon stood outside the palace gate, which was flanked by two stone-faced guards. She turned towards me.

“Well, I guess this is it,” she said.

“Yeah,” I responded, eager to get to bed.

“I had fun with you tonight.”

“Yeah, it was a nice change of pace, I guess. The coffee sure didn’t do anything though.” As if in point, I yawned involuntarily.

“It was decaf. You said that you had somewhere to be tomorrow morning.”

“I guess that explains it. The princess just wanted to talk with me.”

She stepped closer to me, and I had to fight the impulse to back away. I leaned away as her muzzle came within inches of mine. “You’re really something special, Twilight Sparkle,” she whispered with half-lidded eyes. I gulped. Before I had a chance to do anything, she rapidly closed the distance between us and pecked me on the cheek.

I felt a fire burning in my face as she pulled back quickly. Lyra was blushing as well, although looking quite pleased with herself. I just stared at her with wide eyes.

It’s said that in moments of extreme stress or discomfort, our minds run on autopilot. That must have been the case, because if I had been thinking clearly, I would have run away screaming. However, I just stood rooted to the spot as we both determinedly avoided each other’s gazes. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I said the first thing that came to mind—

“So I guess that was what you were planning to give me?”

She blushed even deeper. “No, that was just a spur of the moment thing. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I responded mechanically.

“I actually left the thing I was talking about in the castle. Go to the public restroom closest to your room, and look behind the tank in the stall furthest from the door.”

“What? Why in Celestia’s name would you put something there?”

She shrugged, but I could see a hint of a smirk on her face. “I really did have fun tonight, Twilight. If you ever want to stop by and say hi, I work day shift in the coffee shop on weekdays.”

I nodded, not sure what to say.

“I guess I’ll see you later?” she asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I guess,” I responded mindlessly, still somewhat in shock.

“Cool. Bye, Twilight.”

“Bye, Lyra.”

I watched as she walked off, turning around to look at me once she reached the street's bend. She waved timidly, which I timidly returned, before disappearing around the corner. I sighed deeply and went into the castle through the main entrance. I took a few steps in the direction of my room, but stopped. Lyra had said she left something for me in the bathroom. I had no idea what it was. It could be something stupid, or it could be something embarrassing like a love letter. If the cleaning staff found something like that, there would be no end to the rumors. Groaning softly with frustration, I continued on, but took a right at the hallway intersection vice a left.

As I trudged forward, my tired mind began wandering.

Despite how insane that mare is, tonight was kind of fun. It was interesting to see all the ponies on stage, even if some of them weren’t talented. That one guy was, and Lyra was, at least. The coffee shop may have had too many couples to be interesting, but the decorum was nice, and Lyra was easy to talk to. And then she…

Desperately squinting my eyes shut, I tried to banish the thought from my head. As hard as I tried, though, the insufferable feeling of her soft lips wouldn’t leave me alone. And then she blushed ador… Dear Celestia, the fatigue was making me start to think weird things. I would probably start hallucinating soon. Not a moment too soon, I arrived at the restroom and pushed the door open.

The moon gave just enough light through the window to let me see the dark outlines of the stalls. I cautiously approached the last one and pushed it open. The whole place smelled like cleaning chemicals, so it must have been just cleaned. I hope they didn’t look behind the tank. I hesitantly reached my hoof behind it and felt something thick wedged between the tank and the wall. It definitely wasn’t a love note.

Grabbing it in my magic, I levitated it out and carried it over to the light of the moon coming through the window. It was a book. Squinting at the cover, I gasped as I read—

Mirror of the Mind, XII
Starswirl the Bearded
New Equestrian Translation

Author's Note

I know there's a lot of talk about humans in this story, but they won't be playing a big part. They're merely allegorical.