I, Changeling

Chapters

Schoolhouse Shock
In Da Club
Royal Pains
Crystal Spires and Changelings
Muffins
Matters of the Heart
Long Live the Queen
Windigoes
Quiet Riot
Darkest Hour
I, Changeling
Trapped in the Bakery

Schoolhouse Shock

Cheerilee’s alarm went off, a loud, droning sound that shook her to her withers. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head. After a few minutes of being harangued by the incessant buzzing, however, she shut it off and slowly dragged herself out of bed, rolling out onto her hooves. Eyes still half-shut from sleeping, she lumbered herself into the kitchen, dredging a kettle from a cabinet. She started the laborious process of filling up the kettle with water, drifting off to sleep with the handle in her mouth, only snapping awake when the pot became too heavy to comfortably hold without some effort on her part. Cheerilee then clambered over to the stove, set the kettle on top of it, then turned it on, the gas flames dancing under the kettle as it heated up. She then plodded over to a low cabinet, pulling out a shiny bag. She looked upon it, reading Sunbuck’s Black Roast, and grinned. This is what she needed.

She set the bag on the table and lagged back to the cabinet, pulling out a coffee press with her mouth and setting it on the table. She then filled the press a third of the way up with grinds. Cheerilee then scrabbled to the bread drawer and pulled out two pieces of toast and put them in the toaster, pushing down the tab, setting the toast to cook. She then nodded off for what seemed like a second, but must have been a lot longer because the kettle was going off and her toast was done. Sighing, she dragged herself over to the kettle, turned off the stove, picked up the kettle in her mouth, and headed towards the table, pouring the boiling water into the coffee press, savoring the smell as the water intermixed with the grinds. Cheerilee then slid over to the toaster and reached to the cabinet above, pulling out a plate and a mug. She then removed the toast and set it on the plate, putting the mug on the plate as well. She carefully balanced the plate over to the table and placed it there. She then got up on her hind legs and pressed the press, making coffee. She then put the handle of the press in her mouth and poured its mouthwatering, aromatic contents into the mug, which read Equestria’s Best Teacher. She then sat down at the table, taking a bite of the toast, its warm crispness delighting her. She then put the toast down and lifted the mug in both of her hooves, preparing herself for the pièce de résistance. She took a sip.

Her mouth was instantly assaulted with the bitter taste of the coffee, followed by the bold smokiness of the brew. She smiled, enjoying her coffee. She sipped a few more sips, then set the mug down and began to waylay the toast in earnest, it being finished in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. She then picked up the mug again and sipped it again, tingling at the audacious flavor presented before her. Awake, she started thinking about the day ahead of her. There was something important about it, that much she could recall, but she couldn’t quite remember what it was as she continued drinking her coffee. Suddenly, it hit her. There was an exchange student coming in today! She finished the last of her coffee, a visible thrum echoing through her body. She stood up quickly and exited her house, ready for the promise of a new student.

Cheerilee headed towards the schoolhouse, waving to ponies setting up their stands for the day with a smile across her face. As she neared the building, she could hear chanting from that direction. When she finally approached the building, she was dismayed to find ponies standing in front of her schoolhouse, holding picket signs saying “Two Four Six Eight, We don’t wanna integrate!” and “Arounds the changers, there's always danger!”

The mob was loudly chanting ,“Two, four, six, eight, we don’t wanna integrate!”

Cheerilee shook her head, and started walking towards the schoolhouse, when she almost tripped over something. Or somepony, or whatever they called themselves, as she looked down to see a miniature changeling standing in front of the crowd, waiting expectantly.

Cheerilee looked down and asked, “Why are you standing here?”

The changeling looked up and said with a voice that sounded like two rocks scratching against gravel, “They said I couldn’t enter until their bodies turned cold.” He then righted himself. “So I’m waiting until their bodies turn cold.” He then looked up at Cheerilee again. “When do ponies’ bodies turn cold?”

Cheerilee shook her head. “Ponies’ bodies only turn cold when they’re dead.”

The changeling looked down sorrowfully. “I guess we’ll be here for a long time, then…” Its wings flitted defeatedly against its black carapace.

Cheerilee patted the changeling on its withers. “Nonsense, I’ll lead you in. Follow me.” With that, Cheerilee led the changeling towards the schoolhouse, where a cadre of ponies blocked her.

“She’s with them!” A pony cried out.

“Changer-lover!” another pony yelled.

Cheerilee shook her head in disgust. “Now, now, recent Equestrian law allows this young changeling the right to proper pony schooling—”

A pony spat on Cheerilee. “You disgust me!”

Cheerilee irritatedly brushed off the saliva from her muzzle. She glared at the pony who spat on her. “Roseluck, I thought you knew better than that—”

“You’re with them!” and Roseluck spat on the changeling, who didn’t flinch.

Cheerilee started boiling with rage. “You may spit on me all you want—” she said as she lifted a hoof in the air, “—but I will not let you harass one of my students!” she finished as she slammed her hoof into the ground with her full might, toppling the horde and leaving a hoof-shaped imprint in the ground. Cheerilee smiled.

“By the way, what is your name?” Cheerilee asked the young changeling.

“My designation in the hive is 42.” it responded.

Cheerilee said with the smile still on her face, “Well, then, 42, let’s get you into school.”

“You’ll pay for that!” another pony yelled at her.

“Have Mayor Mare send me the bill.” Cheerilee said as she led young 42 into the schoolhouse. Inside was surprisingly her full class, with one desk left open. The schoolkids stared at the young changeling as he took his seat. Sweetie Belle raised her hand.

“Yes, Sweetie Belle?” Cheerilee asked.

“Was that...you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Cheerilee sighed. “Yes, it was.”

“Why’d you do that for a changeling?”

Cheerilee glared at Sweetie Belle. “I didn’t do it for a changeling. I did that for one of my students.” Cheerilee then sighed again. “And here I thought Equestria was past such base racism. Haven’t we learned from our ancestors that racism isn’t the solution? Why, I bet if Clover the Clover or Private Pansy saw this, they’d…” and stopped once she glanced across the classroom, drawing blank stares. Cheerilee blushed, then kicked the chalkboard, revealing a simple sentence:

Hockey teams receive 2 points when they win and 1 point when they tie. One season, a team won a championship with 56 points. They won 10 more games than they tied. How many wins and how many ties did the team have?

“Did anypony solve the extra credit problem?” Cheerilee asked. Instantly, several hooves shot up. Cheerilee looked around, settling on a grey colt. “Snips, how about you?”

Snips smiled as he shifted in his seat. “The answer is twenty-two wins and twelve ties.”

Cheerilee nodded. “That’s right, Snips.” She then looked at several of the students, who were openly gawking at the changeling sitting among them. “Forty-two, why don’t you tell us about yourself?”

“Well…” he started, several students cringing at the sound of his voice.

Cheerilee shook her head. “Forty-two, why don’t you come up in front of the class?”

Forty-two nodded and came to the front of the class. “Hello, fellow students. My designation in the hive is 42. I hope to learn all of your designations later. Anyhow, I was born in the hive under the auspices of Queen Chrysalis, and moved to Ponyville with my designated parental units 34 and 63. We live on Stirrup Street. It is very nice there. Ponies crowd our house all the time. I’d like to be their friends. They call us ‘Buggers’, even though we’re changelings. My parental units buy all of our food at Sugarcube Corner. They took me there yesterday. I met a fun pony named Pinkie Pie. She appeared to be sweating as my parental units purchased their order. I guess she was warm. We eat bread, by the way, not being able to feed off of love. There’s a thing in the bread that agrees with changeling digestion.”

Cheerilee nodded. “Thank you, forty-two.” Cheerilee then looked over the class. “Are there any questions for forty-two here?” A hoof shot up. Cheerilee groaned. “Yes, Diamond Tiara?”

“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee,” Diamond Tiara said in a sickeningly sweet tone, “why does your voice sound like that?”

Forty-two raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Like two stones scraping against each other. It’s gross!” she cried out, accompanied by the laughter of the students. Forty-two blushed a shade of cerulean.

“I was not aware that there was anything wrong with my voice. Everyling speaks like this.”

“That’ll be enough from you, Diamond Tiara.” Cheerilee chided her. “Now, does anypony else have a question?” Another hoof shot up. “Yes, Scootaloo?”

“I wanna see you change!” Scootaloo said eagerly. Forty-two looked up at Cheerilee.

Cheerilee sighed. “Alright, but for educational purposes only. No changing outside of the classroom. You know the law.” Forty-two nodded and changed into an exact replica of Scootaloo. The entire class wowed in awe.

“Do me! Do me!” Silver Spoon shouted out, earning a dirty glare from Diamond Tiara. Forty-two changed into a perfect copy of Silver Spoon, earning awed exclamations from the crowd. Cheerilee smiled. And they said it couldn’t be done.

Everypony was outside for recess, playing with each other in hopscotch, jump rope, and a riveting game of Four Square, Forty-two noticed. Everypony except for it. It was standing alone in a corner of the schoolyard, when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon approached it.

“So, how are you getting along...changer?” Diamond Tiara asked accusingly.

“Fine, thank you.” it replied.

“So, changer, why did you even come here?” Silver Spoon asked.

“Well, seeing as how this is the only schoolhouse in Ponyville, why wouldn’t I go here?”

“Because you’re a changer, and you don’t belong!” Diamond Tiara shot at it.

Forty-two froze. Didn’t...belong? But changelings always belonged. In fact, that’s all we know how to do!

Tears started forming at it’s eyes. “Take that back.”

Diamond Tiara glared evilly at Forty-two. “Take what back? Changer?”

Tears were streaming down Forty-two’s face. “No, that I don’t belong.”

Diamond Tiara stuck her snout up in the air. “Why? You clearly don’t belong here.”

Forty-Two lost it. It lunged towards Diamond Tiara who shrank back in defense when it felt a tug on its tail. It glared back angrily to see Scootaloo grasping its tail in her mouth. It tried to tug it free.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Scootaloo said.

“But why?” Forty-two asked. “She said I didn’t belong!”

“She does that to us all the time. Besides, you’re the only changeling here!” Scootaloo said as she let go of forty-two’s tail. Diamond Tiara lurched back.

“So I must defend the honor of the Hive!” Forty-two said.

“Not like that you’re not! You do that, you’re going to have everypony down your throat.” Scootaloo smiled at Forty-two. Forty-two stared back at Scootaloo, wings flitting.

“Down my...throat?” it asked confusedly. “That would be most uncomfortable.”

Scootaloo giggled. “It’s just an expression. Why don’t you come play with us?”

“I knew it! You’re a dirty changer-lover!” Diamond Tiara spat out. Scootaloo flinched at the accusation, then quickly shrugged it off and walked away.

“Ok…” Forty-two said as it walked behind Scootaloo. “What do you play?”

“Oh, we’re crusading for our Cutie Marks!”

Forty-two furrowed it’s eyebrow. “Changelings don’t have Cutie Marks.”

“I know, but you’ll be great for ideas! You wanna join our club and help us?”

“So I’ll...belong?”

Scootaloo nodded. “Uh, yeah. That’s part of a club.”

Forty-two’s wings flitted excitedly. “Yes I will!”

Scootaloo chuckled. “That’s what I like to hear!”

In Da Club

The hum of the bass died down as the last of the set played out to many cheering fans.

“Thank you, Canterlot!” Neon Lights cried out. “And now I’d like to introduce our next musical guest! The Dame of Dubstep, The Knight Commander of Nightcore herself, DJ-PON3!” With that, he left the stage as a white unicorn with cyan and azure hair wearing a massive sword took it. Vinyl looked around the room, ponies and changelings cheering alike. It was strange, but Ponyville kind of desensitized her to strange.

“Hello Canterlot!” she called out. Ponies cheered as changelings buzzed their wings in appreciation. “Are you ready to party?” The ponies and changelings cheered out. Vinyl held a hoof up to her ear. “I can’t hear you! I said, are you ready to PAR-TAY!?” The crowd erupted with uproarious applause. “That’s what I like to hear. Let’s get this party started!” she cried out as she slammed two records onto the turntable.

Quiet applause and buzzing was heard as Lyra took a bow and left the stage.

“Thank you, that piece is called the Battle of Thermopony, as played by Lyra Heartstrings,” the announcer said quietly. “Next on stage, we have Octavia Melody, who will be playing the prelude to Buck’s Cello Suite number one.” The crowd politely applauded and buzzed as a grey earth pony walked onto stage holding a cello case in her mouth. She placed the case on the ground and popped it open. Out of it she pulled out a seemingly ancient cello, with a few dings and scratches, but not really any worse for wear. She bowed as she sat down, propping the cello up and placing the bow on the strings.

Dame Vinyl Scratch was feeling good as she saw the ponies and changelings intermingling among the dance floor, shaking the floor with their jumping. Or maybe that was the bass blaring in front of her, the thrum shaking her sunglasses on her face. Anyway, time for a scratch solo. She fired up her magic and pressed on the record, creating the audible scratching sound as she jostled the vinyl on the turntable. The ponies cheered, but the changelings seemed to really eat it up as their buzzing became audible even above the pounding of the music. Vinyl took notice.

“So you really like that, changelings? Well then, all hail the Queen!” she cried out as she really laid on the scratching to much cheering from the changelings. She heard cries of ‘changer-lover!’ among the crowd, but she didn’t let it bother her as she continued her aural assault on the cheering crowd.

Octavia finished off the last of her piece and was met with civil applause and buzzing as she took a bow. It seemed that changelings and ponies both had a love for music that they could unite upon.

“Once again, that was the prelude to Buck’s Cello suite number one,” the announcer said as Octavia took a bow, then took a seat. “and now we have a special treat for you all.” Lyra took the stage again. “These two have agreed to do a cover of ‘Over the Rainbow’ for our wonderful audience." Lyra took a bow, then took a seat. She put her hoof to her lyre as Octavia prepared her bow across the strings.

“Put your hooves up!” Vinyl yelled as she replaced the records with two other ones. She started the first record, which appeared to be playing ‘Over the Rainbow’. The crowd booed vociferously at that, until she started up the second disc, which added a thrumming boom in place of ‘bow’ which had the crowd cheering.

“I call this, ‘Over the Rainboom!” Vinyl cried out as she mixed the tracks like she had practiced.

Finished with their piece, Lyra and Octavia took their bows as the audience gave cordial applause. Octavia looked over the crowd to see tears in the ponies’ eyes...and even the changelings, much to her surprise. She guessed music did really cross racial boundaries.

“Thank you Canterlot!” Vinyl cried out as her set finished, packing her records in her saddlebag as she exited stage left and trotted outside, where she was met with a most unpleasant scene. Ten stallions were surrounding five changelings, some of them cracking their necks as others were bucking the living daylights out of them. Furious, she rushed in and blasted a supersonic soundwave at the ponies, who flattened their ears against their head.

“Quit it!” she yelled, drawing her sword, “or you’re gonna taste my NoWacking!” Several ponies groaned at that. Vinyl raised an eyebrow. “Why does everypony keep groaning at that?”

“Because it’s terrible, just like you!” one of the stallions cried out.

Vinyl looked shocked. “Why am I terrible?”

“Because you’re a dirty changer-lover!” another stallion cried out. Vinyl grinned at that.

“So what if I am?” she said seductively as she sashayed over to the changeling closest to her, sheathing her sword. It was laying on the ground as she stood over it. “What’s your name, big boy?”

“Technically, eighty percent of changelings are genetically female, including me—”

“I didn’t ask that. What’s your name?” Vinyl said huskily.

“My designation in the hive is 1969.”

“Well, nineteen-sixty-nine, you ready for the make-out of your life?”

“Make out what—” Nineteen-sixty-nine started to say before it was forcefully kissed by Vinyl, its eyes widening in shock. The stallions retched in disgust.

“Ew, gross!”

“She really IS a changer-lover!”

“I’m outta here!”

The stallions quickly left Vinyl and the changelings to their own devices. Vinyl offered a hoof to the changeling she just kissed. Nineteen-sixty-nine looked at it confusedly, then took it in its own hoof as it was righted onto its hooves. The other changelings slowly got up, looking in confusion at Vinyl Scratch.

“You just—” a changeling started.

“—helped us.” another changeling continued.

“Why did you—” a third changeling said.

“—do that?” a fourth changeling finished.

Vinyl smiled as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it, sucking in the sweet smoke, exhaling shortly afterwards. “Because they were beating up my fans. What do you say I treat you all to drinks at one of my favorite hangouts?”

The changelings looked at each other, seemingly deep in thought. Vinyl stared bemusedly as them as this continued on for a full minute. Then, nineteen-sixty-nine turned to her.

“We’ll do it!” he said.

Vinyl grinned. This was going to be fun.

“You know, Orpheus, you don’t have to escort me home.”

“I’m sorry, Octavia, Princess’s orders.”

Octavia stared bemusedly as the thestral guard shadowing her. “Now why did Princess Luna want me shadowed again?”

Orpheus shook his head. “She was afraid that changelings might attack you.”

Octavia snorted. “More like I’d attack the changelings. Besides, the changelings seem perfectly content keeping about their own business.”

Orpheus nodded. “Nonetheless, as a living national treasure, you’re to be escorted until further notice.”

Octavia shook her head as they approached her apartment building. Octavia stood to face the thestral guard. “Well, I’m here.”

Orpheus nodded. “Take care, Octavia.” With that, he took off into the night. Octavia smiled as she entered her building.

“So, lemme get this straight,” Vinyl said, holding an espresso martini in her magic, “you want to start a changeling-only club?”

The five changelings nodded at her. They were seated in a booth at the Stone Pony, drawing glares from the patrons.

“That is correct—”

“—Dame Vinyl.”

Vinyl shook her head. “Ok, seventeen-seventy-six and eighteen-sixty-five, there are so many things wrong with that.”

“What could possibly—”

“—be wrong with that?”

Vinyl facehooved as she took a sip of her martini. “First of all, nineteen-seventeen and nineteen-forty-one, do you guys have any money?”

“Yes we do. We have a joint account.”

Vinyl raised an eyebrow. “Under whose name, nineteen-sixty-nine?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine blushed a shade of azure. “Erm...Tommy Applebuck.”

Vinyl stared at nineteen-sixty-nine, nonplussed. Then a flash of realization crossed her face. Her cheeks bulged out, and she let out a hearty guffaw. “You mean the PORNSTAR!?” she said, laughing.

“That is correct. Changelings are allowed to register a legal identity under an assumed form.”

Vinyl was still laughing as she pulled out a cigarette, lighting it, and taking a drag. A waiter walked up to her, saying, “I’m sorry, Dame Vinyl, but you’re not allowed to—”

“—Knight Commander.” she said, still giggling. The waiter shook his head and walked away.

Finally, the giggling died down. “So are the rest of you pornstars as well?” she asked as a smile danced across her face.

“No, the rest of us—”

“—are working as—”

“—day laborers—”

“—in Canterlot.”

Vinyl furrowed her brow. “Well, that’s good and all,” she said as she took another sip of her martini, “but you can’t just have a changeling-only establishment.”

The changelings looked confusedly at her. “Why not?” Seventeen-seventy-six asked.

Vinyl took a drag of her cigarette. “Well, under current civil rights legislation, freeponies aren’t allowed to discriminate based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, or species.” She took a sip of her martini. “And seeing as you’re freeponies now, you can’t prevent ponies from entering your establishment.”

The changelings frowned at that. They then looked up in unison.

“What if we—”

“—designed it in—”

“—such a way that—”

“—only changelings would—”

“—want to enter?”

Vinyl smiled. “Now you’re getting it!” She took another drag of her cigarette. “So how would you do that?”

“Make it dark...and green!” Nineteen-seventeen said.

“Call it something changeling-related!” Nineteen-sixty-nine said.

“Like ‘Changelings Only, or—” Seventeen-seventy-six said.

“—the Hive!” Nineteen-forty-one finished.

The changelings all oohed at that.

“Great idea, 1941!” Eighteen-sixty-five said.

“I started it!” Seventeen-seventy-six said.

“Yeah, but I finished it,” Nineteen-forty-one said, “you snooze, you lose, 1776!” Seventeen-seventy-six stared grumpily at Nineteen-forty-one.

“I say it’s a joint idea!” Seventy-seventy-six said with a huff.

“Now, now, settle down, everyling,” Nineteen-sixty-nine said, “it’s all of our idea.”

Vinyl smiled as she tried to take a sip of her martini, only to find out that it was finished. “Waiter, another espresso martini here!” she cried out. She then looked to the changelings sitting in front of her. “Great teamwork, every…ling. Now why did you need me?”

Everyling looked down, then looked up. “We have no idea where to start.” They said in unison. Vinyl facehooved.

Octavia heard knocking at her door. She grumbled off of the couch and headed towards the door. I swear, if Vinyl lost her key again… she thought to herself as she opened to door to find Vinyl making out with...VINYL!?

“Vinyl!” Octavia yelled.

“Yes?” both Vinyls replied in unison.

“Not you, the real Vinyl!”

“Yes?” both Vinyls replied. Octavia facehooved, then leaned her head out the door. Outside there were four Vinyls, but only one of them was wearing her blade. Octavia stared furiously at the real Vinyl.

“Vinyl, what is the meaning of this!?”

Vinyl shrugged. “Dunno..jus’ wann’ed t’play a prank on ya...now c’mere…” she said lazily, approaching Octavia, hugging her gently.

Octavia pushed her off. “No, I mean what is the meaning of bringing changelings here!?”

Vinyl looked around to all the other Vinyls, who quickly changed back. Octavia flinched instinctively.

“No, s’alright..they’re cool…” she slurred as she stumbled into her apartment. “They jus’ hadin ideea fer a club they wanntid ta share with me. We’re gonna figger out how ta do it.”

Octavia fumed silently as the changelings walked in to her apartment. Sure, having them at her concerts was one thing, but this?...No, no, Octavia, you’re a cultured mare. Now act like a mare of culture. She breathed in, then breathed out, collecting herself. “Alright. You may use the kitchen, the living area, and Vinyl’s room. My room, however, is off-limits.”

“Which one—” one of the changelings asked.

“—is your room?” another changeling finished.

“Second door on the right, which is where I’ll be.” she said frustratedly as she stomped towards her room, slamming the door shut behind her. The loud clanging of a broom could be heard from the floor.

“STOP SLAMMING!”

“Sh’up, you!” Vinyl yelled below. She then looked to the changelings. “Well, le’s hed inta mah room. I got some papurs from when I wanntied ta open mah own club. You kin look ‘em over.” She walked into her room, the changelings following.

Octavia sat fuming in her room, too angry to sleep.

“Dirty changers, coming into my apartment…”

Royal Pains

Luna was trotting briskly down the hallway, enjoying her midnight constitutional, when a thestral guard approached her and bowed.

“Princess Luna.”

Luna nodded her head. “Yes, Orpheus?”

“There are no incidents to report, your majesty.”

Luna nodded again. “Thank you.”

Orpheus looked up at Luna. Luna stared at Orpheus, her head cock-eyed. “Is there something the matter, Orpheus?”

Orpheus shook his head. “No, Princess, it’s just...why did you want me shadowing Octavia, again?”

Luna glared at Orpheus, who shrank under her gaze. “Are you questioning the words of a Diarch?”

Orpheus shook his head again. “No...it’s just she seems so inconsequential.”

Luna smirked. “So it’s no, but yes.”

Orpheus’s eyes widened as he bowed his head low. “I mean no disrespect, Princess. I just question if my services aren’t put to better use elsewhere.”

“You mean like protecting a being who is more powerful than you by several orders of magnitude or keeping watch in a castle where two such beings permanently reside?”

Orpheus kept his head low. “Once again, no disrespect was meant by that, your highness.”

Luna frowned. “You are my night guard, and I will assign you as I wish.”

“But why Octavia?”

Luna smiled. “Because I like her music and wouldn’t want any ruffians to accost her.”

“Fair enough, your highness.” Orpheus said. “Seems rather petty…” he muttered under his breath.

Luna leaned her head in and said in a dark whisper, “What was that, Orpheus?”

Orpheus’s eyes widened and he shot back up. “M-my machete! I forgot that I had to sharpen my machete!” and hastened down the hallway, never looking back.

Luna snorted. “Coward.” She continued trotting down the hall, when she stopped in front of the guest room, where a most acrid smell overpowered her nostrils. It stung like acid on her olfactory nerve, the stench of damp urine seeping into the hallway. Angrily, she strode over to the door and slammed it open.

Inside was Queen Chrysalis, rocking on her haunches in a corner, eyes wide open, a lit cigarette grasped in her magic. She brought it to her lips, took a puff, and drew it away.

“Please don’t—” she said in a little colt’s voice.

“—that sounds great—” she said in a young stallion’s voice.

“—not there—” she said in a young mare’s voice.

Luna stared in shock at the scene in front of her, at a loss for words as Chrysalis kept changing voices. She finally find the courage to eke out, “Queen Chrysalis?”

“—effervescent—” the Queen said in the grating drone of a changeling’s voice.

“Queen Chrysalis?” Luna said again, creeping towards the Queen.

“—buy some apples—” Chrysalis said in a farm filly’s voice.

“—it’s not evil—” she said in another filly’s voice.

Luna put her hoof to her forehead, shaking it. She then placed her hoof on the floor. “Queen Chrysalis!” she shouted in her Royal Canterlot Voice. Queen Chrysalis’s head jerked over to Luna as she jumped slightly in shock.

“Wha?” she said dreamily in her Legion voice. She took a drag of her cigarette.

“You appeared to be having a bit of a psychotic break.” Luna said. Chrysalis blushed a shade of cyan.

“Oh, you simply caught me during Hive Time.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Hive Time?”

“Yes, where I commune with the entirety of the Hive,” Chrysalis explained as she inhaled again on her cigarette, “it used to be so simple, but now that the changelings are freeponies, it’s become extremely difficult.”

“Well, smoking’s not going to help. Those things will kill you.”

Chrysalis snorted. “I’m a changeling. I can just moph my lungs into a precancerous state”

Luna stood there, dumbfounded. “Well, that seems very useful. I wonder why our top scientists aren’t testing that.”

“They are, which is what I was getting into.” Chrysalis took another drag of her cigarette. “Everywhere I look in the hive, I see what the changelings are up to. Some of them are leading very happy lives. Some are day laborers, some are guinea pigs, and some have even been offered positions as faculty in top universities. Others are into...more untowards things. Crime, organized and otherwise, modeling, and…” Chrysalis shuddered. “...pornography.” She took another drag of her cigarette. “So much porn. It makes me sick

“But what pains me most is the violence. Everywhere I look, there’s a youngling being bullied. There are changelings being beaten up in back alleys for simply being them,” she said, tears forming down her cheeks, “changelings being hanged off of balconies, changelings killed and their bodies washing up on the shore. When I can, I try to commandeer a changeling or two to help them defend themselves, but it’s simply not enough. Even I can’t be everywhere at once. Even I, the Queen who swore to protect them, can’t save them all! What good am I as Queen of the Changelings to my subjects when I let them die in the streets?” she asked as she broke down into tears.

Luna stared bemusedly as the crying changeling Queen in front of her. She never did have the right touch when it came to these sorts of things.

Chrysalis continued. “And what’s even worse are the papers!” she screamed as she pulled up a newspaper with her magic. “This says I’m planning a secret invasion of Canterlot!”

“Well, we’ve told the populace of the fealty oath you swore—”

“—but that’s just it! The papers are arguing that that was a grab for power!”

Luna looked down. “Well, technically, it was.”

Chrysalis glared at Luna. “That’s not the point! I did that to save the Hive! I did it...for Equestria.” She looked down. “I did it for your little ponies, and they can’t even appreciate it! Don’t they know that every time they hit a changeling, I feel the blow?”

Luna said, “They might hit more changelings if you tell them that…”

Chrysalis jumped up onto her hooves, an angry glare in her eyes. “And that,” she shouted as she angrily took a puff of her cigarette, “is the point I’m trying to make! I’ve subjugated myself to you and Celestia, abided by your laws, and this is the thanks your race gives me?”

Luna put a hoof on Chrysalis’s shoulder. “Look back in your hive. Surely there are good examples of ponies treating changelings well.”

Chrysalis sighed, then closed her eyes.

“Today I made a new friend. Her name is Scootaloo. She helped me honor the Hive by doing the right thing and not beating up that bully—” she said in a youngling’s voice.

“—now theese are tha forms ya need ta fill out to—” she said in Vinyls’ voice, which brought a grin to Luna.

“—so we can—” she said in a changeling’s voice.

“—open up our club?” she said in another changeling’s voice.

“—that was nice of the pink pony to give us all of that bread free of charge—” she said in yet another changeling’s voice.

“—I think the mold makes it taste delightful—” she spoke in another changeling’s voice. Chrysalis then opened her eyes.

“Well?” Luna asked.

Chrysalis sighed. “I suppose there is some good in your ponies, although these Cutie Mark Crusaders sound like a most dangerous organization.” Luna chuckled at that.

“Well, as they say, foals will be foals.” Luna remarked.

“And younglings will be younglings.” Chrysalis added with a chuckle.

Luna then sighed. “Well, the important thing to remember is that even through all the chaos and terror, you’re still trying to make a good impression. Take it from a former villain herself.” Luna said with a wink as she lifted her hoof off of Chrysalis’s shoulder, putting it on the ground.

“But you were just a villain for what...three hours total, if the Canterlot Archives are anything to go by?”

Luna grinned. “Try getting an entire holiday named after you for a thousand years.”

“Point taken.”

Luna sighed. “Well, you should probably get some rest. There’s still the peace summit tomorrow...or have you forgotten why you were granted the guest room here?”

Chrysalis shook her head. “No, I haven’t forgotten.” Luna then say the Queen betray a look of worry across her face. “Do you think they’ll accept me?”

Luna chuckled. “They’ll have to, if Equestria has anything to say about it.”

Chrysalis looked down. “I hope you’re right.” Chrysalis’s stomach then rumbled, causing her to blush blue. “Do you have anything to eat?”

Luna smiled. “Of course we do. Come with me.” Luna then walked out the door, Chrysalis following. She led them to the kitchen, which was mercifully empty. Luna then opened a drawer with her magic, taking out a baguette. “I understand your kind have a certain affinity for bread.”

Chrysalis nodded. “Yes, but I was hoping for something sweet...and something to drink to go along with it.”

Luna smiled as she put down the baguette and pulled out a fancy bottle with a long thin neck that flared out at the bottom. Chrysalis’s eyes widened as she greedily grabbed the bottle with her magic, unscrewed the cap, and chugged almost the whole thing as Luna stared in shock. Chrysalis then offered her the rest, which amounted to no more than three shots. “You want some?”

“You realize that that was a one-hundred and fifty year old cognac?”

“So?” Chrysalis said as her eyes turned glassy.

Luna shook her head, then grabbed the bottle with her magic and chugged down the rest. “That bottle went for five-hundred thousand bits at a charity auction.” She then threw away the bottle in a trashcan.

Chrysalis’s eyes widened in shock. “Put it on my tab?”

Luna chuckled as she shook her head. “You’re a guest under the auspices of the Equestrian Empire. Anyway, Tia was trying to get rid of it. The bottle was quite an eyesore.” Luna then headed towards the fridge, waving the Queen over. Chrysalis followed and was greeted with a very large cake.

“Ooooh, can I try some?” Chrysalis asked.

“Of, course, let me get some—” Luna said before she was cut off by Chrysalis’s mouth opening into a maw, out of which a cylindrical mouth chomped off a bit of cake before retracting into the maw which turned back into her mouth.

“Mmmm, delicious!” Chrysalis said, then noticed Luna staring in shock. “What?”

“I-i’ve n-never s-s-seen a ch-changeling eat be-before.” Luna stammered.

Chrysalis laughed. “No need to worry, I’m the only changeling that does this.”

“Well, then,” Luna said as she collected herself, “that was interesting.” Luna turned away. “I’ll leave you in the kitchen.” Luna then turned her head back. “And Chrysalis?”

“Yes?”

“Try not to drink any more half-million bit bottles of liquor?”

Chrysalis chuckled. “I won’t.”

Luna nodded as she walked away. Once she felt she was far enough away, she ducked into a nearby bathroom, slammed the door behind her, and started gagging. She punched herself in the stomach, then jammed a hoof down her throat. Nothing. She looked around for something to jam down her throat, then saw the plunger, still gagging. She grabbed the plunger in her magic and prodded the end of her throat with the tip. She then grabbed the edges of the toilet and vomited profusely. She lifted her head up, then vomited again, glad that her ethereal hair always flowed in the same direction. After about fifteen seconds of vomiting, she sat on her haunches, back to the toilet, flushing it with her magic, gasping heavily. She wiped a vomit trail from her mouth and flung it onto the wall.

“Never in my life do I want to see someone’s mouth do that again…” Luna gasped. She then uneasily got up onto her hooves, looking back at the toilet, shuddering. “NEVER again…” she said as she opened the door to the commode, softly closing it behind her. She then shook her head left and right. “Well, then. Back to my constitutional!” She said as she continued her brisk trotting down the wide hallway.

Crystal Spires and Changelings

Princess Cadance was leaning on the balcony overlooking the Crystal Empire, looking over her subjects with a frown. A frown because even though her Crystal Ponies were glimmering in the light, there were also numerous dark spots among the crowd. Namely, changelings. She detested the things ever since she was trapped in the caves under Canterlot for a month by their Queen. She shuddered, not wanting to bring up old wounds. Still, she did owe Chrysalis for saving her kingdom from the nefarious Safer Sombra, although she considered them even. She heard footsteps behind her. She let off the balcony and turned around to see her husband, Shining Armor, his blue mane looking as dashing as ever over his white coat. She smiled at him, him smiling already.

“Back so soon, Shiny?” she cooed at him as she trotted over to nuzzle him.

“That’s right.” He nuzzled her back lovingly. “Just got back from the Big Brother Mentor program. I should be meeting my little brother later today.”

Cadance disengaged him. “What was his name again? Nihilus Nix, or something like that?”

Shining Armor stared confusedly at her. “That literally means nothing.”

“No it doesn’t.”

Shining Armor sighed frustratedly. “Yes it does. Nihilus means nothing, and Nix means no.”

Cadance giggled. “See, you just proved yourself wrong.”

Shining Armor raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“Nihilus Nix means ‘nothing no’ by your own declaration. See, it means something.”

“But that something is nothing.”

“And zero is a number—”

“Zero is NOT a number!” Shining shouted angrily. “I don’t care what those snooty Math Majors at CEU say!” Cadance started giggling. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just so easy to rile you up. So what’s your little brother’s name again?”

Shining Armor smiled. “His name is Fifty-Six.”

“Fifty-six?”

“That’s right.” He said wearing his broadest fish-eating grin.

“That sounds nice, Shiny.” She said, nuzzling her wonderful husband. She then stopped mid-nuzzle. “Fifty-six?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Fifty-six?” she said, pulling away. “That’s a changeling’s name!” She glared at her husband.

“Yeah, remember? I said I was adopting a youngling last week?”

“I thought you got that word off of your dictionary calendar!” Cadance said as she pawed at the ground. “If I had known you were mentoring a changeling, I would’ve nixed the thought right there!”

Shining stared at his now mad wife cautiously, choosing his next words carefully. “Well, he’s being brought to the palace in fifteen minutes, so you’ll get to meet it then.”

Little did he know that no string of words would have been correct at that moment, as his wife drew a ceremonial dagger off of the wall. “You’re not mentoring him, you’re adopting him! He’s your bastard lovechild with that swiss-cheese trick that was impersonating me!” she screamed as she lunged towards Shining Armor, who put up a pink shield that the dagger bounced harmlessly off of. “Do you know what I went through because of that harpy?!” she yelled as she kept slashing at the shield to no effect.

“Honey, this isn’t gonna work.” Shining said matter-of-factly.

“I was in the Canterlot Caves for a month, reduced to eating mushrooms and BUGS!” she cried out, uselessly slashing at the shield. “You know how hard it is to eat something that begs for its life? Looking into your tearing eyes with tearing eyes of its own, imploring you to not eat it!?”

“Maybe you should bring that up with your therapist—”

“MY THERAPIST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!” Cadance shouted. She then collected herself. Slightly. She slowly pushed the blade through the shield, causing Shining Armor’s eyes to widen in horror as the dagger was within slashing range. Shining Armor dropped his shield and teleported across the room.

“Baby, dont you—”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me, you cheat!” She cried out as she flew across the room, leading with the blade. Shining Armor teleported above Cadance and tackled her to the ground. Shining held tightly to her, her writhing uselessly in his powerful grip, failing to find an opening to stab him with because he was using her as a pony shield.

“Please...stop...honey…” Shining Armor said while struggling. “You know...I didn’t sleep with her…”

“And how do I know that!?” Cadance roared.

“Because I didn’t even sleep with you until our wedding night!” Shining Armor cried out. Cadance then stopped struggling, the dagger dropping on the ground with a loud clang. Shining let go of Cadance, and they both sat up on their haunches.

“Is this a bad time, Prince-Consort?”

Shining and Cadance looked up to see Beck Call, their head servant, tailed by a miniature changeling. Cadance glared at the changeling.

Shining stood up to his hooves. “No, Beck Call, not at all.”

Beck Call nodded. “Well, your little brother is here.” he said, motioning to the changeling.

“Thank you, that will be all.” Shining Armor said with authority. Beck Call nodded and left, the changeling standing there expectantly.

Shining trotted up to the little changeling and bent down, rubbing its head. “Fifty-six, is it?”

“Yes,” then changeling replied, taking a bow, “and it’s an honor to meet you, Prince-Consort.”

Shining Armor chuckled. “No need to call me that. Just call me Shiny.” He then stood up to his full height, looking back at Cadance, who was giving an evil stare at Shining. Shining shrunk back a little bit, then bent back down. “What do you say we get out of Mrs. Grumpypant’s mane and play some hoofball?”

Fifty-six stared at him confusedly. “I thought her name was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“Cadance.” Princess Cadance corrected it curtly.

“Well, right now, she’s a little bit grumpy,” Shining said, “I think it’s mare troubles—OW!” he cried out as he felt the hilt of the dagger hit him on the back of the head.

“I heard that.” Cadance said, a murderous glare fixed on her husband, who stared back at her accusingly. “Don’t give me that look, you know what you did.”

“Mare troubles?” Fifty-six asked.

“I’ll let your pa...rents…?” Shining Armor asked.

“I was assigned a single parental unit designated 1729.”

“I’ll let seventeen-twenty-nine explain it when you’re older.” Shining Armor said with a chuckle. “So how about that game of hoofball?”

Fifty-six perked up. “I have heard of this hoofball. It sounds...fun.”

Shining Armor laughed. “Only the most fun a youngling like you can have! Let’s go!” He walked out, Fifty-six following in his stead. He turned back and winked at Cadance, who was still staring murderously at him.

“Don’t forget about the peace summit later today.” Cadance reminded him through gritted teeth.

“I won’t, honey.”

Cadance watched Shining Armor walk out while the youngling followed him eagerly. She stomped back to her throne and plopped down, fuming. The nerve of Shining Armor to mentor a changeling after what she had gone through! Did he not realize the pain she had gone through because of their deceptive ilk? Did he not realize the abject terror she had experienced due to their mad power grab? She sat there, soaking in her rage, enjoying the warm feeling of power it gave her. It pained her when Queen Chrysalis accepted Celestia’s offer of peace, Celestia’s reasoning that now that Chrysalis had fought on the side of right, she would enjoy the feeling. Cadance could only nod in horror at all of the legislation Celestia had enacted using her executive power to grant the little buggers rights like anypony and everypony. It was like seeing her worst nightmare come to life when the changelings started moving into the Crystal Empire to feed off of the everflowing love present in the atmosphere. She couldn’t say anything because she was the Alicorn of Love, and love meant forgiveness even unto your enemies. She wondered if they would have the capacity to forgive if they were the ones trapped for a month underground, eating fungus to survive. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice her servant, Hoof Maid, touch her shoulder.

“Are you crying, Princess?” Hoof Maid asked. Cadance didn’t even notice the flowing streams of water pouring down her cheeks and muzzle.

“No.” Cadance said.

Hoof Maid shook her head. “Yes, you are. Why are you crying, Princess?”

Cadance finally noticed that she was, indeed, crying as Hoof Maid dabbed her tears. Cadance then sighed a labored sigh. “I’m crying because of the changelings.”

Hoof Maid sighed, still dabbing the Princess’s tears. “I know, right? It makes me sad, too, they way that they’re beaten and bullied all across Equestria.” She then tutted. “You’d think that ponies never had an ounce of decency in them.”

Cadance glared at Hoof Maid, who didn’t notice. “Decency?”

“That’s right, Princess, no decency. You’d think they would have taken to heart the lessons of Hearth’s Warming Eve and not repeat the mistakes of Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane and discriminate on our differences.” Hoof Maid sighed.

“I hardly think—”

“You hardly think the changelings deserve such treatment? Neither do I. We should be focusing on our similarities instead of our differences.”

Cadance stared a weird stare at Hoof Maid. “Similarities?”

“Yes, Princess. Similarities.”

“What do we have in common with changelings?”

Hoof Maid chuckled. “The need for love.”

Cadance fixed her eyes on Hoof Maid. “Explain.”

“Well, the changelings may feed on love...but don’t we feed on it too, in a way?” Hoof Maid asked. “I mean, what would we be without love?”

Cadance thought on that for a second. “I...I don’t know?”

“Exactly, you can’t even imagine it! So imagine how those changelings feel, having to leech their love from somepony else, unable to create any love of their own! It must be a nightmare!”

“I, don’t think—”

“—that’s fair? Neither do I, but that’s how life works. You’re dealt the hand you’re dealt. They never asked to be changelings, they were born that way! They had no control over the circumstances of their birth, so we shouldn’t fault them for it.”

Cadance nodded. “Thank you, Hoof Maid. Now leave me be. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“Glad I could help, Princess.” Hoof Maid nodded and left the room.

Cadance sat there, musing. Hoof Maid had given her a lot to think about. She stood up and trotted over to the balcony and took off. She flew over her kingdom, taking in the crystal spires, noticing yet again how beautiful they were. She found the stadium and dove in, seeing Shining Armor and Fifty-six playing catch. She landed next to Shining Armor, who jumped.

“Hey, baby, what are you doing here?” Shining asked, throwing the hoofball to Fifty-six, who caught it in its magic.

“Nothing, just seeing how my big stallion is doing with his little brother.” She poked Shining Armor in the ribs.

“We’re doing great!” Shining Armor said as he caught the hoofball. “Isn’t that right, Fifty-six?”

“Yes, Shiny. We are doing quite well.” It said as Shining threw the hoofball at it, catching it in his magic.

“Glad to hear.” Cadance said. She then looked at Fifty-six. They’re kind of cute when they’re small...

Muffins

Forty-two was sitting with the Cutie Mark Crusaders outside, where they were having lunch. They all seemed to be eating homemade hayburgers. Forty-two smiled, for it had the one lunch to rule them all. It looked at the brown paper bag in front of him, impatient for its delicious contents. It slowly opened the bag and reached his hoof inside, pulling out the most delectable of treats.

“Whatcha got there, Forty-two?” Apple Bloom asked.

Forty-two grinned as he held the object in front of him. “Only the most savory, scrumptious, and divine dessert ever. It’s appetizing and lusciously flavorful folds have eluded me all morning. But you elude me no more, my yummy, savory mark!”

“What are you, a dictionary? It’s just a muffin.” Scootaloo said while chewing on her burger.

Forty-two shook its head. “It’s not just any muffin.” He then stared at it in awe. “It is a muffin given in love by the wall-eyed mare!”

“Oh, you must mean Derpy!” Sweetie Belle said while chewing politely. “She gives muffins to everypony.”

“It may be so, but nopony can taste the love put into a confection quite like I!” Forty-two proclaimed. It then heard footsteps behind it. It turned around to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “Hey girls.”

“Hey, bugger.” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said simultaneously. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom gave them dirty glares.

Forty-two held up its muffin in pride. “I bet you’re jealous of my muffin!”

Diamond Tiara stared at the muffin, then grabbed it out of Forty-two’s hooves, to which the Cutie Mark Crusaders gasped in shock. Diamond Tiara then took a bite out of it.

“You may...take a bite…” Forty-two said. Diamond Tiara then spit it out.

“Your muffin’s gross.” She stated, then dropped it on the ground. Forty-two dove for it, not wanting to miss out on the muffiny goodness, when its hoof was stopped by Diamond Tiara stomping on the muffin and grinding it into the dirt. Forty-two and the Cutie Mark Crusaders gasped in horror.

“W-why did you…” Forty-two started, lying on the ground. It then broke out into loud bawling, tears streaming down its face.

“Why in the hay did you do that, Diamond Tiara!?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, that was just cruel!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Because he’s a dirty bugger, and buggers don’t deserve nice things.” Diamond Tiara said.

“Why I oughta…” Scootaloo threatened, rising up onto her hooves, suddenly lurching back when Sweetie Belle grabbed her tail. “What?”

“Don’t do it. It’s not worth it.” Sweetie Belle said, tearing up herself at the most senseless display of malice that Diamond Tiara just displayed.

Scootaloo gave a weird glance to Sweetie Belle. “What, tell Ms. Cheerilee?” Sweetie Belle then let go, blushing as Scootaloo took off. She returned a minute later with a very disgruntled Miss Cheerilee in tow, fixing a disappointed gaze upon Diamond Tiara, who shrank back.

“Diamond Tiara, did you just grind Forty-two’s muffin into the ground?”

Diamond Tiara looked away. “It’s not like the bugger deserved it…”

“Diamond Tiara!” Cheerilee shouted, “I will not have you slander a fellow student in my schoolhouse! Get inside, young filly, that’s a month’s worth of detention!” Diamond Tiara slowly dredged into the schoolhouse, dragging her hooves, Silver Spoon watching in shock as the Cutie Mark Crusaders looked on with smug grins. Forty-two, however, was still crying on the ground, dirt mixing in with tears on its face. Cheerilee looked upon the changeling with sorrow. “That was your lunch, wasn’t it?”

“Y-yes, Miss Cheerilee…” Forty-two responded, sniffling. Cheerilee looked down at the changeling, then to her saddlebag. She then sighed and reached in, pulling out a muffin.

“Well, I was going to save it for an after school snack, but I suppose it’ll go where it’s needed.” Cheerilee said as she extended the hoof holding the muffin to Forty-two. Forty-two looked upon it with confusion, then glee as he snatched the muffin out of Cheerilee’s hand.

“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee, I am most grateful!” It said, taking a bite out of it. A bemused look grew on its face. “What flavor is it?”

Cheerilee giggled. “It’s coffee flavored, a personal favorite of mine. I hope you enjoy it.” She then walked away, leaving Forty-two to happily munch on the muffin in peace.

“Boy, that was sure nice of Miss Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom said, eating her hayburger now that the commotion was done. “I’ve never seen her do that before.”

“Yeah, I guess she felt sorry for you.” Scootaloo said.

“Well, her sorrow was appreciated. I greatly enjoy this muffin!” Forty-two said as it finished the last of it off. The other girls had finished off their lunches as well, moving to stand up. Forty-two stood up as well.

“We’re going to try to get our muffin-tasting Cutie Marks!” Sweetie Belle said. “You wanna join us?”

Forty-two nodded.

“Alright then, let’s go!” Sweetie Belle said as the other Crusaders followed her. Forty-two went to follow, when suddenly something cold and wet touched its muzzle. It looked upon it with curiosity, then gently let it drop onto its hoof, examining it. It appeared to be a snowflake. It found it strange that a snowflake would be falling in July.

“Girls, there appears to be…” it started before it realized that the girls were well ahead of it. It looked back at its hoof, noticing that the snowflake had melted. It shook its head. “Girls, wait up!” It yelled, chasing after them

They had arrived at Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie pulled out a delectable assortment of muffins.

“Hey, Pinkie!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Hey, Sweetie!” Pinkie said back. “You ready to get your Cutie Mark in muffin-tasting?” She said as she set the tray on the counter.

“Mmm-hmm!” She said, taking a seat at the counter, the girls and changeling joining her.

“Well, get ready, because here they come!” Pinkie said as she shoved a muffin in Sweetie Belle’s mouth. She started chewing gingerly, then swallowed. Pinkie looked over Sweetie Belle. “What flavor is that?”

“Banana!” Sweetie said.

“Right you are!” Pinkie said. “Now get ready for the next muffin!” Pinkie said as she shoved another muffin into Sweetie’s mouth. She started chewing gingerly again…

Twenty-two muffins later…

Sweetie Belle was lying prone on the floor, her stomach distended from all of the muffins she had been force-fed. Apple Bloom was touching her head, and Scootaloo was holding her hock, while Forty-Two was just standing there. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight had come in as well to watch the gluttonous display. Forty-two’s parents were also there, wondering why their assigned child hadn’t come home at its usual time, and decide to stay for the show.

“She doesn’t look so good…” Fluttershy said worriedly.

“We should stop this madness at once!” Rarity said.

“Nah, I say we let her learn her lesson.” Applejack said.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle! You’re almost at half my record!” Rainbow Dash cried excitedly.

“Alright, Sweetie Belle, ready for the next muffin?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Oooooh…” Sweetie Belle groaned.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” and shoved another muffin into her mouth. Sweetie Belle started sweating as she chewed on the muffin, then slowly swallowed it. Twilight glared at Pinkie.

“You know, you’re only supposed to take a bite out of the muffin when you taste it.” Twilight said.

“Really? Because this is how I always taste my muffins!” Pinkie said. “Now, what flavor is it?”

“Boysen...berry?” Sweetie Belle asked. A smile grew on Pinkie’s face.

“That’s correct!” She shouted. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hurriedly checked for a Cutie Mark on Sweetie Belle’s flank, their faces dropping when none appeared. Sweetie Belle started gagging.

Rarity gasped. “Oh, Celestia, she’s trying to vomit!” she cried as she picked up Sweetie Belle and dragged her to the bathroom. A few seconds later, the splashing of water was heard.

Thirty-four stared at Twilight, who returned a nervous glance. “Do ponies always eat muffins like this?” it asked, its sentence punctuated by splashing.

“It seems most wasteful, to eat that many muffins only to vomit them up.” Sixty-three added.

Twilight giggled nervously. “Eh, not really. This was kind of a special case.”

“A stupid case,” Applejack added, “but, hay, you live, you learn.” More splashing was heard. “Dang, how many muffins did she eat?”

“Twenty-five!” Pinkie said. Applejack facehooved.

Rainbow Dash squeed. “That’s half my record! And it’s certainly the most any filly guzzled down!”

“I just hate to think of what all that vomiting is doing to her stomach lining…” Fluttershy said. The bathroom door swung open as Sweetie Belle limped out, followed by Rarity.

“Now promise me you won’t do anything that foolhardy ever again!” Rarity said.

“Don’t worry...Rarity...I don’t think...I can look at another muffin...again!” Sweetie Belle said.

Pinkie frowned. “But you haven’t even started Round Two!” she said as she pulled out another tray of muffins. Sweetie Belle, upon looking at the tray, whined and collapsed on the floor. Pinkie frowned, then smiled. “Oh well, who wants muffins?”

“Sure!” Applejack said.

“OK!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash said.

“That would be most enjoyable.” Thirty-four, Forty-two and Sixty-three said in unison. Everypony and everyling present except for Sweetie Belle and Rarity hopped up on the stool in front of the counter and dug in, failing to notice the light snowfall dusting the outside of the store.

Matters of the Heart

Vinyl woke up, her eyes still closed. She was mildly aware of a body next to her. She snuggled up next to it, vaguely aware that it appeared to be cold.

“Why’re you so cold, handsome—” she said, turning to see a changeling in bed next to her. “AAAAAHHHH!” she yelled.

The changeling’s eye’s opened widely as it screamed, “AAAAHHHHHH!”

Everyling that was in the room lying on the floor lifted their heads and yelled, “AAAAHHH!!!”

Vinyl’s door slammed open, revealing Octavia rushing in to what seemed to be the rescue, but when she saw the scene, she shielded her eyes and cried out, “CELESTIA! Do you have any decency!?”

“It’s not what it looks like, Octy, I swear!” Vinyl shouted, waving her forelegs in the air in front of her. The changeling in bed with her sat up and looked at her, then Octavia quizzically.

“What does it look like we did?” it asked.

Vinyl blushed. “Um, knock boots.”

“But we weren’t wearing any boots. I don’t even own any boots.”

Octavia shook her head. “She means have relations.”

The changeling stared at Octavia confusedly. “But we already have excellent relations.”

Vinyl giggled. “No, she means do the humpty-dump.” she said, thrusting her hips.

“I am unaware of what you’re referencing.”

Octavia growled and snorted. “She means did you do it?”

“Do what?” the changeling replied.

“You know, what nineteen-sixty-nine does for a living.” Vinyl said.

The changeling looked around. “I don’t sense any magical signatures, so I don’t see how we could have possibly done that.”

“So we didn’t sleep together.” Vinyl said with a sigh.

The changeling laughed. It was a most unsettling sound that made both Vinyl and Octavia cringe. “I don’t know what you call last night, but it was certainly not sleeping.”

“So it looks like you had intercourse with her.” Octavia flashed.

The changeling looked around at Octavia, then Vinyl, then Octavia again. “Then this is exactly what it looks like.” it said with a nod. Octavia’s and Vinyl’s jaws both dropped at that. The changeling had a bemused look on its face, then pointed a hoof at Vinyl. “She came on to me.” it stated.

“Vinyl!” Octavia screamed.

“Hey, I was wasted!” Vinyl said, blushing.

“That’s no excuse for sleeping with a filthy changer!”

“Technically, there was no sleeping—” the changeling started.

“SHUT UP!” Octavia roared at the changeling, who shrank back.

Vinyl glared at Octavia. “Yo, not cool, Octy!”

Octavia glared at Vinyl. “What. Is not cool?”

“The racism. I don’t fly like that. That’s like calling them buggers—”

“Technically, we’re more—”

“—closely related to crustaceans.” two of the changelings on the floor said.

“Great. My roommate slept with a lobster…” Octavia grumbled.

“That sounds like a great idea for a book!” Vinyl helpfully added. Octavia bore a hole into Vinyl’s forehead with her eyes. Not helpful enough, apparently.

Octavia stepped over the changelings and looked out Vinyl’s window. “Well, I can’t kick you out even if I wanted to.”

Vinyl and the changelings stared at Octavia. “Why can’t you—”

“—kick us out?” two changelings asked.

Vinyl eyeballed Octavia. “And more importantly, why would you kick me oat?” she said, then blushed. She was slipping into her Caneighdian accent again. That seemed to happen whenever she got angry.

Octavia shook her head, ignoring Vinyl. “Because there’s eight inches of snow outside, and it looks like there’ll be a lot more. Looks like the pegasi really mucked up this time.”

Vinyl shot out of bed and zoomed over to the window, pressing her face on it while touching it with her hooves. “Cooool!” Octavia back away in disgust, Vinyl not noticing. “Can we go outside and make a snowpony?”

“No, Vinyl. In fact, I don’t want anything to do with you right now.” Octavia said as she walked out of Vinyl’s room, followed by the door to her room slamming. Vinyl glared in the direction that Octavia was walking.

“Racist!” she yelled.

“Technically, we’re our own species.” One of the changelings said.

Vinyl looked down, chin in hoof. “Hmmm, I guess you’re right. SPECIEIST!” she yelled, then looked back at the gaggle of changelings in her room, one of which was still in her bed. “Specieist sounds right, right?”

“Um, I think specist sounds a lot better.” another changeling said. Vinyl sat on her haunches, holding her forehooves up in the air, appearing to pantomime weighing something.

“Yeah, you’re right. Specist sounds a lot better. SPECIST!”

“Shut up!” Octavia yelled from her room. Vinyl snorted.

“Well, we don’t need her to have fun! Come on, everyling, I know a game we can play!” The changeling that was in Vinyl’s bed got out of it and changed into Vinyl. Vinyl stared at herself, confused. “Well, I guess the more me, the merrier!”

“I think you misunderstand,” changeling-Vinyl said, “I have an apology to make.” It then walked out of the room and knocked on Octavia’s door.

“Hmm. Weird way to start an apology. Well, come on, everyotherling! Let’s play a game!”

Everyling present nodded and followed Vinyl into the living room.

“Go away!” Octavia yelled, sitting on her haunches.

“Come on...Octy. I wish to apologize for my actions.”

“I said…” Octavia started, then stopped. This didn’t sound like Vinyl. Maybe she really was sorry. “Come in.” Vinyl opened the door then closed it behind her. She then changed into a changeling. Octavia leapt up onto her hooves, snorted, and started pawing at the ground. “I swear, if you’re the dirty bugger who defiled my Vinyl, I’ll—” She then stopped mid-sentence as a green glow overtook her, a dazed look crossing her face. The green glow then left her. She looked at the changeling. “Did you just drain my love for Vinyl?”

The changeling nodded. “Yes I did.”

"Why?"

"I thought it would be more appropriate if you had a level head for what I'm about to say."

Octavia said, “Well, I suppose I should be furious right now, but I just can’t seem to be bothered.”

“Apathy is a common side effect of the love draining process.”

Octavia nodded. “So why did you come in here, anyway?”

The changeling took a breath. “I meant what I said before. I wanted to apologize for engaging in intercourse with your roommate. I believe I did what you call...’take advantage’ of her in her inebriated state. It was improper of me, not to mention illegal. If you want to report a rape, I will turn myself in.”

Octavia shook her head and popped her cello case open. “No, it’s not necessary. From your report, she came onto you. It’d never get past the grand jury.” She took out her cello and bow and started playing. The changeling raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we were conversing.”

“We are. This just calms me. I’m still a little irritated about Vinyl, not to mention you stealing my love for her.” Octavia started playing a beautiful melody. “What should I call you, anyway?”

“My designation in the Hive is 1969.”

Octavia giggled. “Of course it is.” The changeling raised an eyebrow at that, the shook its head.

“Why were you angry with Vinyl?” the changeling asked.

“I was more afraid for her well-being. You see, there aren’t really any studies showing the effects of sleeping with a changeling unprotected...in fact, I’ve never heard of it before,” Octavia said, looking up to the changeling in her room, noticing that it appeared to have a glassy-eyed appearance. She stopped playing and poked it with her bow. “Hello?”

The changeling then snapped out of its trance. “There are no reports of unprotected pony-changeling intercourse in the Hive save Vinyl.” Octavia giggled again and started playing again.

“Of course there aren’t,” she said, “of course my roommate Vinyl Scratch would be the first pony to do it with a changeling unprotected.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

Octavia sighed. “Well, it’s just indicative of her personality as a whole. Brash, impulsive...she’s more of a ‘blast first and ask questions later’ kind of pony.”

“And that upsets you?”

Octavia hung her head low, still playing. “Yes, to no end. You have no idea of how many situations I’ve had to buck her out of. Being a mare of refined tastes, I find it most unappealing.”

“Yet you still love her.”

“And that’s the thing!” Octavia said, dropping her bow. “That’s what I love about her! Her Discord-may-care attitude, her vivacity, the way she takes life by the horn...I find those things most appealing about her.”

“Yet they infuriate you to no end.”

Octavia chuckled as she began playing again. “Well, what can I say? The heart wants what the heart wants. Who am I to question the mechanics of love, or to even suggest that they have mechanics at all?”

“Well, actually, love is caused by a chemical called oxytocin.”

Octavia stared at the changeling. “How do you know that?”

The changeling chuckled, causing Octavia to cringe. “You don’t think that the Hive wouldn’t know the name of it’s own nourishment?”

Octavia giggled. “Well, I suppose it makes sense.” She then stopped playing, the piece finished. “Anyway, what line of work are you in that you’re able to afford the overhead for a club?”

The changeling blushed cobalt. “Pornography.”

Octavia peered curiously at the changeling. “Is that so? I would have thought therapy, with the way you helped me.”

The changeling stared back at Octavia, perplexed. “You mean there’s a profession where all you do is ask leading questions?”

Octavia chortled. “No, no, it’s a lot more complex than that. But you appear to have a knack for it. Besides, what would your children think when they discover your profession?”

“All changelings are birthed by our glorious Queen, Queen Chrysalis.”

Octavia blushed. “Oh. So those changelings out there, they’re like your brothers?”

“Sisters would be more accurate. Most changelings, including the five of us, are genetically female.”

Octavia stared bemusedly at the changeling. “So how did you…”

The changeling raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Octavia shook her head. “Well, I suppose I should really apologize to Vinyl,” she said as she stood up on her hooves. “Would you like to come with?” The changeling nodded and followed Octavia out the door, where Octavia was aghast to see Vinyl tangled up in four other changelings in a heap on the floor. Scratch that, it was more like an intertwining mash of legs. Octavia glared at Vinyl. “Vinyl…”

Vinyl jerked her head to Octavia, brushing her horn against the undercarriage of a changeling, causing it to giggle and fall down, taking everyling and Vinyl with it. “I swear, it’s not what it looks like!” Vinyl shouted as she rolled over, revealing a Twister pad. Octavia tried to keep the angry look on her face, then fell to her haunches in laughter, Vinyl joining in. The changelings all stared at each other in confusion.

“What was—”

“—so funny—”

“about that?” three changelings asked.

“Did we—”

“—miss something?” the other two changelings asked.

Long Live the Queen

Queen Chrysalis woke up, her head pounding. She blinked, and found that that hurt, too. She moved to roll out of bed, but her joints locked up in pain as well. She sighed frustratedly, then tried to lift herself up with her magic, wincing in pain yet again as her horn throbbed sharply.

“Ugh,” she said, “what in Tartarus happened to me?” She looked over with great effort to the night table, noticing that there were sunglasses on them, along with a note. She struggled to drag the note in front of her face with her magic, letting out little yelps. She finally got the note in front of her. She read it.

Thought you might need these after last night.
-Luna. XOXO.

Chrysalis snorted, then winced. Why would she need—

She turned her head to the ceiling and let out an unearthly scream as her eyes were stabbed by the light source hanging off of the ceiling. Then she yelled again as the door was slammed open, the sound echoing in her mind cavity.

“Is there anything wrong, Queen Chrysalis?” a voice said.

“Yes, everything hurts and everything’s too loud! In fact, you’re too loud! Shut up!”

“Is that any way to speak to your ruler?” Chrysalis achingly turned her head to see the source of the voice, the source of course being the one pony you never mouth off to.

“Princess Celestia…” Chrysalis spat out, her eyes shutting to ward off the searing light.

“Queen Chrysalis.” Celestia said.

“Would you mind telling me what you’re doing up at this unearthly hour?”

Celestia looked around in confusion. “What? You mean at three in the afternoon?”

Chrysalis sighed. “Three?”

“Yes, and I’d like it if you joined me for some tea. Now put these on.” Chrysalis felt something touch the bridge of her muzzle. She opened her eyes to find that the light was not so biting anymore.

“What is this magical device you’ve put on my face?” Chrysalis asked.

“Sunglasses.” Celestia said primly.

Chrysalis rolled over, wincing in pain again. “Well, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to join me for tea?”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes, yelping as a tearing pain filled her orbital sockets. “Because you and I don’t exactly have the greatest history.” She suddenly yowled in pain as she was roughly jerked out of bed and placed on her hooves, her knees wobbling as she struggled to fight off the paroxysms thrumming through her legs.

“I see no reason why we can’t start new history. You did swear fealty to my sister after all, did you not?” Celestia said as she walked away. Chrysalis sighed, guessing she was expected to follow her. So she followed her, cringing all the way as her legs lifted themselves over and over and over and over again until they reached a sitting area with tables. Celestia approached the one in the center and pulled out a chair. Chrysalis groaned, then trotted towards the chair, slumping down in it. Celestia nodded and took a seat across from her. “You know, that’s no way for a lady to sit.”

Chrysalis chuckled. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a lady.”

Celestia glanced at a servant and waved him over. “I’ll have a darjeeling, and my friend over here will have a bloody mary.” The servant nodded and expediently rushed off. Celestia then eyeballed Chrysalis and asked, “No? Then what are you?”

“An equinoid abomination from I don’t even know, Beyond the Veil? Is that even a thing?” Chrysalis saw Celestia shake her head. Chrysalis grunted. “Fine. I don’t know where I’m from. But I’m still an abomination of all things pony.”

“I don’t believe that for a second, your majesty.” Celestia said as the servant from before returned with their drink orders, Celestia nodding in appreciation. She then took a sip of her tea and smiled warmly. “I happen to know where you came from, and it’s not from under the sea, or Tartarus or anything like that.” Chrysalis perked up at that. “Why don’t you drink some of your bloody mary.”

Chrysalis eyed the red drink in front of her. “What’s in it?”

Celestia giggled. “Tomato juice, pepper sauce, and vodka.”

Chrysalis exhaled, then picked up the drink in her magic shakily, taking a sip. She recoiled at the sharp taste. “There’s alcohol in here!”

Celestia smiled. “Yes, there is. I find alcohol is the most efficient way to cure a hangover.”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Hangover?”

“Dehydration caused by excessive alcohol consumption.”

Chrysalis groaned at that. Of course. “Well then, bottoms up.” She then slugged the entire glass back, letting it slide down her throat. She sat there for a couple of minutes, feeling slightly better while Celestia calmly sipped on her tea. She flagged down a servant. “Serveling!” The servant raised an eyebrow. “Bring me three bloody marys!” The servant nodded and hurriedly left the room.

“So I take it you like the flavor, then?” Chrysalis nodded. “I figured as much.” The servant came back quickly with the ordered drinks, setting them neatly in a row in front of Chrysalis.

“That will be all, serveling.” Chrysalis said. The servant nodded with a bemused expression on his face and walked out. She started sipping on the first drink. “What do you mean you figured as much?”

Celestia giggled, sipping on her tea some more. “Tell me, does the name ‘Crystal Mary’ mean anything to you?”

Chrysalis shook her head as she finished the last of the bloody mary, picking up the second one. “No. Why should it?”

Celestia sighed. “You see, back before the days of King Sombra, there was a beautiful alicorn who ruled the Crystal Empire, Queen Crystalis Di Amatore Maria, or Crystal Mary for short. Her body was pure diamond, and her hair flow was made out of pure sapphire, ruby, and emerald. She was the embodiment of love, and everypony knew it. She would waltz about town, inspiring acts of love wherever she went due to her sheer presence. That is, until King Sombra came to power.

“King Sombra tore into the throne room and blasted her with such a frequency of soundwave that the poor Queen’s body shattered. Some of Crystal Mary’s servants stole a piece of her flank and fashioned the Crystal Heart out of it, which Sombra locked away after he found it, afraid of its power. But I’m digressing.

“So, after Crystal Mary’s sound defeat, Sombra crowned himself King of the Crystal Empire and subjugated the populace to provide a power source for his terrible will. What his will was, most ponies don’t know. But I do, and it is a dark and terrible thing. You see, King Sombra was a stallion of science, but his science was most awful.

“He took the living form of Crystal Mary and performed terrible experiments on her with dark magic. He wanted to take away everything she was, in order to ensure his victory. He warped her crystal form into one most malleable, able to take any shape. He took her beauty, and gave her a black carapace, turning her hair into seaweed. She had holes all over her body because he was missing the pieces that the servants stole. Finally she took her ability to inspire love, and twisted her into a succubus, only able to steal love from others. Then he unleashed her upon the world, which is when my sister and I decided to trounce the evil dictator once and for all. But we had missed his experiment, which had slipped out from under us when all the commotion came about. She led a reign of terror right under our noses, which is where the moniker ‘bloody mary’ comes from for the drink.” Celestia then sighed a long, mournful sigh. “A pity, it was her favorite drink. Eventually, she disassociated from the name ‘Mary’ entirely, which is where you come in.”

“Why?” Chrysalis asked, sipping on her third bloody mary.

“Because you, Queen Chrysalis, are Crystal Mary.” Chrysalis the proceeded to spew her bloody mary all over Celestia.

Chrysalis wiped stray tomato juice off of her muzzle. “Lies! Why wouldn’t I remember this!?”

Celestia shook her head and sipped again at her tea. “They often say that supremely traumatic events are wiped from the brain to prevent further damage.”

Chrysalis stared at Celestia, unbelieving. Celestia wiped the bloody mary remnants off of her and onto the floor. “So I have a kingdom in the Frozen Wastes?”

Celestia shook her head. “You don’t, but Crystal Mary bore a child before her shattering, who had a child, and that child had a child, all the way down to the current ruler of the Crystal Empire.”

Chrysalis stared bemusedly at Celestia, not sure of how to take that. “Who’s the current ruler of the Crystal Empire?” She started sipping on some water.

Celestia giggled. “You may know her as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” Chrysalis spewed the water all over Celestia, who frowned.

“I swear, it seems that fate has conspired with your spit-takes today.”

Chrysalis’s jaw was dropped in shock. “You mean that me...and...are related?”

Celestia nodded, sipping the last of her tea. “Yes, you are. She was named Princess because you never technically abdicated.”

Chrysalis rubbed her chin with her hoof. “But you said I didn’t have a kingdom…”

“You don’t. Your hive is a protectorate of Equestria ruled by Queen Chrysalis, just as the Crystal Empire is a protectorate of Equestria ruled by Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.”

Chrysalis looked down, then chuckled. “I guess we must make up one messed up family. But why didn’t you say anything when I invaded Canterlot?”

Celestia sighed. “It didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up. Besides, you had been already so far gone that you didn’t even recognize me.” Celestia looked down. “We used to be the best of friends, Crystal Mary and I. It was so painful to see you not recognize me that I simply addressed you as the monster you’ve become.”

Chrysalis grumbled, “I’m not a monster…”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You yourself called yourself an ‘equinoid abomination’...”

Chrysalis snickered. “I suppose so.” Just then, they heard hoofsteps and voices.

“What was with all that snow, Shiny?”

“I don’t know, honey.”

“And why did you bring that bugger along?” Cadance said as she stepped into the room, Shining Armor and Fifty-six in tow. Cadance then locked eyes on Chrysalis, a look of pure rage across her face. Shining Armor looked around shiftily. Chrysalis and Celestia smiled at each other.

“Should I tell her?” Chrysalis asked.

“No, let me. I’ve always wanted to do this.” Celestia then looked at Cadance and said, “Cadance, I’d like you to meet your ancestor and a dear friend of mine, Crystal Mary.”

Cadance looked around. “Look, Auntie, I don’t have time for one of your jokes right now…”

“Oh, it’s no joke, my niece. Look at who’s sitting with me.”

“All I see is that she-devil.” Cadance flashed.

Celestia giggled. “Do you remember the legend of Bloody Mary?”

Cadance thought for a second. “Yes, I do...wait. You’re not saying…” she said as she looked upon Chrysalis in horror. Chrysalis waved with a smile.

“Hey.” Chrysalis said.

“Excuse me, I have to go.” Cadance said as she briskly trotted out. A few seconds later, a blood-curdling scream was heard.

“She even has your scream.” Celestia chuckled.

“That she does.” Chrysalis said. She then patted her lap. “Come here, Fifty-six, and give momma some sugar.” Fifty-six happily trotted over to Chrysalis and hopped up into her forelegs onto her lap and nuzzled her, Chrysalis nuzzling it back. “That’s a good youngling.” She cooed.

Shining trotted over to Celestia and asked. “So are you saying that I almost married my great-grandmother in law?”

“Yes I am.” Celestia said matter-of-factly.

“Hmmm.” Shining Armor said as the two of the watched Chrysalis and Fifty-six nuzzling each other

Windigoes

Cadance was sitting in a corner of Twilight’s old room, rocking herself back and forth on her haunches, her hindlegs curled up into her forelegs while a torrent of tears streamed down her face. She had found out the most horrible news, that she was directly related to a bugger, and not just any bugger—their queen! The vile being that had stolen her life from her for a month, leaving her to die in the Canterlot Caves. The being known as Bloody Mary, whose crimes were uncountable, probably even to the Diarchs themselves. To bear such a stain on her family pained her so greatly, she could hardly bear the shame. She heard a knock on the door.

“Go away!” She yelled.

“Honey, it’s just me. Can I come in?” a voice she recognized as her husband, Shining Armor, asked. Cadance thought on this for a second.

“Come in.” The door opened slightly, revealing Shining Armor, who came in and shut the door behind him. Upon seeing the state that his wife was in, he rushed over to her and started nuzzling her. Cadance weakly nuzzled back.

“So, how you holding up?” Shining Armor asked. Cadance gave him a glare that could melt a volcano.

“Oh, just great. First, the buggers move into the Crystal Empire, then you up and mentor one of the filthy things...now I find out I’m directly related to their Celestia-damned Queen!” she spat out between her tears. Shining Armor hugged Cadance.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now.” Shining Armor pulled away from his wife. “But we need you in the throne room right now.”

Cadance looked up, tearing. “Now?” Shining Armor nodded.

“Yes, now.” He trotted through the door, Cadance watching him leave. Cadance sighed, then propped herself up onto her hooves and headed into the throne room. There she saw Celestia sitting in her throne with a very tired Luna yawning next to her. She also spotted Shining Armor...and Chrysalis. She headed towards Shining Armor, hugging him tightly.

“What is SHE doing here?” Cadance accused, pointing a hoof at the Queen.

Celestia shook her head. “Seeing as how she rules a protectorate of Equestria, I saw it only fit for when I reveal this most grave news.” Celestia then turned towards Luna, who was nodding off. Celestia frowned at Luna, then smacked her, Luna jostling awake.

“We are awake! What is thine command?” Luna said.

“I’d like you to read the letters we just got by dragonfire from the other delegates of the peace summit.”

Luna yawned. “Alright,” she grumbled as she pulled out three letters, “OK, short story, the delegates couldn’t come because of inclement weather. Apparently, everybody’s experiencing a lot of snow.”

Celestia nodded to Luna. “Thank you Luna.” She then turned towards Shining, Cadance, and Chrysalis. “There is also about three foot of snow in Canterlot, and we’ve been getting reports of even more elsewhere. This is most troubling, because it isn’t being caused by the pegasi. Barring an invasion of Frost Giants—”

“—those were good times.” Luna said dreamily. Celestia shot a glare at Luna.

“Anyway,” Celestia continued, “barring that, there can only be one cause for this.”

“And what, pray tell, could cause such a disturbance?” Chrysalis asked.

“Windigoes.” Celestia said flatly. Cadance and Shining Armor gasped, while Luna had fallen asleep again. Chrysalis stared confusedly at the Solar Princess.

“What in the hay are wendigos?” she asked.

Celestia shook her head. “Windigoes. They are winter spirits that feed off of fighting and hatred. The more hate the spirit feels, the colder it becomes.” Celestia then cringed when she heard her sister snore next to her. She glared at Luna, then smacked her again. Luna woke up with a start.

“We’re awake!” she cried out, “So what’s going on?”

“Windigoes.” Celestia, Cadance, Shining Armor, and Chrysalis said simultaneously, which caused Luna’s eyes to widen in shock.

“Windigoes? In July? This must have to do with the changelings…” Luna mused. Cadance glared at Chrysalis.

“This is your fault! Your damnable bugger invasion’s ruined us all!” She accused.

Chrysalis glared back at Cadance. “Well, if your populace weren’t treating my changelings like absolute garbage, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place!”

“We’re only treating them like garbage because of the Invasion of Canterlot two years ago!” Cadance roared, pulling herself off of Shining Armor, facing Chrysalis on her hooves. Chrysalis rose to her hooves as well.

“I make no apologies for that. I simply did what I thought needed to be done for the good of the hive!” Chrysalis said tersely.

“Well, did you ever think of how the ponies you hurt would feel about that!? No, of course you didn’t, because you’re incapable of feeling ANYTHING for a creature that isn’t a dirty bugger!”

“You keep using that word around me, and you’ll soon find out how wrong you are!” Chrysalis said through gritted teeth. Suddenly, an ethereal whinnying was heard that shook the castle to the core.

“Quiet, both of you!” Celestia admonished the two of them. “I bring you her to brainstorm solutions, and you two idiots end up feeding them!”

“Yes, now can we solve this so that I can get some SLEEP!?” Luna whined.

The two disengaged their pissing match and went to respective corners of the room, refusing to stare at each other. Celestia groaned. “Fine, it’ll have to do. So, any ideas?”

“Yes, I’ll just blast them with friendship.” Chrysalis swiveled her head to face Cadance.

“You can do that?” she asked.

Cadance glowered at Chrysalis. “Can I do that, of course I can do that! Are you daft?”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Explain how that is possible.”

Cadance groaned. “Haven’t you heard of the Four Loves?”

“No, I haven’t” Chrysalis said.

Cadance rolled her eyes. “And here I thought you were so good at sucking out love. Well, there are four types of love. Storge, the love one feels for family; Eros, romantic love; Agape, unconditional love—”

“But none of those are friendship—”

“—shut UP, bugger, I was getting to that! Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted—” Cadance groused before another ethereal whinny throttled the foundations of the castle.

“Quit sniping at Crystal Mary!” Celestia scolded Cadance. “That’s no way to treat your elder!” Cadance shot an icy stare at Celestia.

“And while we’re on that, why did you never tell me that one of my ancestors was a bugger?”

“Stop using that word…” Chrysalis growled.

Celestia shook her head. “You’re getting off subject. Please explain—”

“No, Auntie. I want to hear this.” Cadance said as she sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs.

Celestia sighed. “Aright, but just for the sake of keeping the windigos at bay.” Celestia then inhaled and exhaled. “The reason I never told you about your lineage was because of how Crystal Mary turned into Chrysalis.”

“And how was that?” Cadance asked. “Some deal with a demonic spirit?”

“Crystal Mary would never do such a thing!” Celestia roared at Cadance in her Royal Canterlot Voice, blowing her hair back. Celestia then breathed in and out, collecting herself. “Your ancestor was subjected to excruciating tortures that no mare should have to suffer. She was pushed to her limit and beyond by Sombra’s dark magic into a twisted shade of what she used to be. For me to describe it would be horrible. It pains me greatly to even think about it.”

Cadance stared at Chrysalis. Tortured? She hadn’t considered that Chrysalis would ever not want to be her. The massive amount of torture that would turn a pony into that...Cadance shook her head and continued. “The fourth love, which is the love we need, is called ‘philia’, the love of friendship, and the love that Clover the Clever, Private Pansy, and Smart Cookie used to defeat the windigoes the first time. I should be able to pick them off, one by one, until they’re all gone.”

“Now that’s thinking with your horn, Cadance!” Luna said. She then drifted off to sleep, only to be jostled awake by Celestia with her magic. “What? Problem solved, I’m getting some shut-eye.”

“It’s not quite solved yet, dear sister. We still have to see if this foolhardy plan of yours will work.” Celestia said. She then looked at Cadance. “You realize that you’ll have to fly into the center of the storm and unleash your magic there to trounce them once and for all.” Cadance gulped.

“Yes, Auntie.”

“I won’t let you.” Chrysalis said. Everypony turned to her.

“What do you mean, you won’t let me?” Cadance asked incredulously.

“You’ll die. Feed me the philia, and I’ll do it.”

“And why would I do that? This is just another mad grab for power, isn’t it?”

Chrysalis stomped her hoof. “What do I have to do to prove myself to you!?”

“Save Equestria.”

“I’ve already done that once, and I’m trying to do it again!” Cadance snorted.

Chrysalis menaced Cadance, then sat on her haunches. “Fine, if you won’t give me any friendship, then I’ll have to collect it myself.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” Cadance asked, unconvinced.

“I’ll simply collect it off of my changelings.” Cadance snorted. Chrysalis snorted back. “You’ll see.” She then closed her eyes.

Quiet Riot

Vinyl, Octavia, and the changelings were shivering in the living room, all dressed in coats. Octavia had graciously lent them all brown pea coats, while she herself was wearing a black pea coat. Vinyl herself was wearing a faux-leather duster and a black fedora.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t spring for real leather, Vinyl.” Octavia said.

“Nuh-uh!” Vinyl said while shaking her head. “Some of my best friends in Ponyville are cows!”

“You do realize that the cows sign their hides over of their own free will after death, right?”

Vinyl shook her head again, drawing her duster in closer to herself. “I dunno. It just wouldn’t feel right, wearing something that used to be alive. It’d be like wearing one of Rarity’s hats.”

“You do realize that she doesn’t put actual birds on her hats, right?”

Vinyl shook her head again. “I dunno. It just seems kinda creepy if you ask me.” Octavia chuckled. Vinyl glared at her. “What?”

“It seems I’ve found something that unbalances the great Dame Vinyl Scratch. And here I thought you were unflappable.”

“Did you give your friendship to the changelings yet?” Viny asked, changing the subject.

“No, I haven’t.” Vinyl stared at Octavia like she had grown an extra hoof.

“Why not? Didn’t you hear Chrysalis over the changelings?”

Octavia nodded. “Yes, I did. However, don’t you think that one of the Princesses would have said something if it were that important?”

“But the Windigoes! Don’t you care about the Windigoes?”

Octavia shook her head, drawing her pea coat in closer. “Vinyl, of course I care about the Windigoes, but I just don’t trust Chrysalis. This could be just another mad grab for power.”

Vinyl then slammed the floor to her apartment.

“Yo!” somepony yelled from below.

“Yo Syko!” she yelled down.

“Yeah?”

“What do you think of the changelings?”

“Hmmm...they seem to be alright. We have a changeling intern at Playcolt, twenty-twenty-seven. He seems to be on the ball.”

“Yo Syko! If you had a chance to help with the friendship bomb that Chrysalis was trying for, would you help?”

“Of course I would!”

“Well, then, come on up! We got changelings up here!” The shuffling of hooves was heard, followed by a door slam. There was silence for a few seconds, when the shuffling of hooves was heard outside their door, followed by three sharp raps. “Come in, it’s open!” Vinyl yelled while smiling at Octavia. In entered an orange stallion with shaggy green hair that went past his nape in the back, while the bangs seemed to slightly hide his eyes. “Yo, Skyo, my man! What’s up!” Syko glared at Vinyl.

“Listen here, I am not here to make friends—”

—but you really are, in order to make friends with the changelings.” Syko blushed at that. “Gotcha.”

“Well, so where are—AUGH!” Syko yelled as he spotted the changelings crowded around each other, looking like a pile of coats. The changelings looked up, shivering, unable to talk due to the freezing conditions. “So they need friendship, huh?” Vinyl nodded. “Ok, here goes.” Syko then focused on the changelings as rainbow tendrils flowed out of him into the changelings.

“I still think that looks so cool.” Vinyl said, remembering when the rainbow tendrils had escaped from her. “Don’t you wanna be cool, Octy?” she said while sticking out her tongue at Octavia, who harumphed and turned her head away. Syko took a seat on the floor.

“Nice duster. Where’d you get it?” he asked, rubbing his forehooves together and blowing on them.

“I got it from Neighman Marecus. Isn’t it sweet?” Vinyl said.

“Yeah, it actually is sweet. Does it come in a stallion’s size?”

Vinyl looked up. “I think I saw some in the stallion’s section…” then she looked down and saw more rainbow tendrils escaping from her, as well as Syko. “Coooooool!”

Syko looked upon the tendrils. “Now why do you suppose that happened?”

“Because the two of you are forming a connection,” Nineteen-sixty-nine said weakly.

Vinyl smiled. “So I guess we are friends!”

Syko glared at Vinyl. “Just because we were stuck in a jail cell together doesn’t mean—”

Vinyl laughed. “Of course it does! We’re jail buddies!”

Syko snorted. “More like lock-up acquaintances.” Octavia raised an eyebrow at that.

“When you were in jail?” Vinyl blushed at that.

“Oh, I ran into Syko somewhere and kinda...startedariot…”

“Slow down...WHAT did you say?”

“Startedariot—”

“—enunciate that clearly.”

Vinyl looked down. “Started a riot.”

Octavia gave a menacing stare at Vinyl. “And why, pray tell, did you start a riot?”

“Because I was trying to throw the Royal Guards off of my scent…”

“And why were the Royal Guard ON your scent in the first place?”

“Because I...might’ve...stolen a dagger off of one of their sheaths.” Octavia stared angrily at Vinyl.

“And why did you steal a dagger off of one of the Royal Guard?”

“Because I wanted it, and it’s really hard to get weapons in Canterlot.”

“Really, Vinyl? That’s all you have to say for yourself? ‘I wanted it, so I stole it?’ That’s something a child would say!” Octavia then turned her head away from Vinyl. “I’m disappointed in you.” She then turned her head towards Syko. “And what part did you play in this nefarious scheme of hers, huh?”

Syko raised his hooves and said, “Look, mare, it was a while ago, I don’t exactly remember the details, just leave me out of this.” Octavia got up on her hooves and strode angrily towards Syko, who shrank back.

“No, I will not leave you out of this! For all I know, you’re the ringleader of this little stunt!”

“Look, Octavia?” Octavia nodded curtly. “Octavia, please, do I seem like the kind of stallion who would incite a riot?” Octavia looked down, then away.

“No, I suppose you’re not. In fact, you’re not good for much of anything except for writing articles in that filthy magazine—”

“—which was ruled by Celestial Court as a work of art!” Octavia snorted.

“Work of art, my rump. It’s just pictures of nude ponies.”

“Hey, it’s not like most of us wear clothes anyway!”

“Not the point!” An ethereal whinnying was heard that rumbled the entire room. “What was that?”

“The Windigoes. Remember, guys?” Vinyl said. “The more you fight, the stronger they become?” Octavia and Syko both blushed at that. Octavia sat down on her haunches. “So, is everyling ok?” The changelings refused to respond. Vinyl waved a hoof in front of Nineteen-sixty-nine’s eyes. “Hello? Equus to changeling!” A regal yet exhausted voice then came out of the changeling’s mouths.

“Hello? Is this thing on? Bring your changeling in here...ah yes, there it is. Ahem, testing, one two one two. Yes, I hear myself clearly. Well, hello everypony, this is Princess Luna, and I’m here to say that I’m very ashamed of all of you. I know for a fact that there are far more changelings in Equestria than the piddling amount of friendship we’ve collected. Look, I know you’re worried that Chrysalis might make a mad grab for power, but need I remind you that she has sworn fealty to the Equestrian Empire, so give her a chance. You all gave me a chance when I had just reverted back from Nightmare Moon, and I’d appreciate it if you’d do that same for Queen Chrysalis. She’s nursing a severe hangover right now, so please be nice to her. And do it for your Princess of the Night, too, because when we get out of this situation you’ve gotten us all into, I can finally get some sleep!...what should I say now? Well, I suppose I could say anything I want...or sing anything I want! Ehehem. I’ve got a lovely bunchs of coconuts, there they are, all standing in a row—” and the signal cut out sharply as the changelings shook their heads. Octavia stared at the changelings, taking in what Princess Luna had said. Ashamed...she really should be ashamed of herself. Here they were in their apartment, and they hadn’t even disturbed anything! They were wearing her jackets with the utmost care, and had even refused them at first. Plus, that Nineteen-sixty-nine really helped her see the light. So, she focused on Nineteen-sixty-nine. Instantly, several rainbow tentacles slithered out of her and into the changeling, who had subsumed them into its form. Vinyl was grinning at Octavia.

“See, Syko, I told you she’d come around.” Syko stared at her with a bemused expression.

“You never told me anything.” But his words were lost on Vinyl, who was basking in the glow of her friend finally accepting at least one changeling.

Darkest Hour

“...can finally get some sleep!” Luna demanded over the signal Chrysalis was transmitting over her horn. Luna then looked around, as if looking for guidance. “What should I say now?” Luna then looked down. “Well, I suppose I could say anything I want...or sing anything I want!” She then cleared her throat. “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, diddly-dee! There they are, all standing in a row, bump, bump, bump! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Give ‘em a shock, a flick of the hock, that’s what...the...showmare...said?” Luna didn’t hear the changeling broadcasting her voice anymore. In fact, Queen Chrysalis had disengaged her horn from Luna’s and was now giving her an unpleasant stare.

“Really?” Chrysalis said.

Luna huffed. “Just thought they’d appreciate a bit of vaudeville.”

“Well, whatever the hay you did, it appears to be working.” Cadance said, gesturing towards Chrysalis, who was now emitting a rainbow sheen. Chrysalis looked down upon herself and gagged in disgust.

“Why do you ponies always color-code everything so...pretty?”

Celestia giggled. “I remember as Crystal Mary, the refraction of the sunlight through your body delighted everyone with rainbow glows.”

Chrysalis retched again. “Well, it’s absolutely dreadful. And it doesn’t appear to have given me enough friendship.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes, really. I’m only receiving output from half of the changelings.” Chrysalis then looked up at Celestia. “Would you like to give this a shot, fearless leader?” She said mockingly. “Honestly, I don’t see why you don’t solve this once and for all.”

Celestia hung her head low. “The magic of friendship escaped me a long time ago, Chrysalis.”

Chrysalis huffed. “Well then, why not give a speech or something? I’m sure your little ponies would much appreciate an allocution from their princess—”

“Hey!” Luna exclaimed.

“—that doesn’t involve a show.”

Celestia looked around uncomfortably, then stood up. “Well, I’m not really one for impromptu speeches...I usually have my speeches pre-prepared.” She said, stepping down to Chrysalis. “Oh well, let’s give it the old college try.” She touched her horn to Chrysalis’s.

“Friends, Equestrians, Freeponies, lend me your ears. As you may have heard, these are grave times for us all. Windigoes have invaded our lovely Equestria on the back of hatred and fear. But fear of what? Fear of the changelings, you might say? That sounds plausible, but I think it falls deeper than that. I think it is a fear of yourself that bars you from accepting the changelings into your hearts. A fear that you might forgive the changelings that invaded our fair Canterlot and accept the aggressors with open arms and forget the memory of Canterlot. But Canterlot still stands, and Queen Chrysalis is a guest of ours. In fact, she is responsible for enabling this long-range transmission to you ponies and changelings. All equinoids, in fact. And let me ask you this, freeponies. Has not a changelings eyes? Has not a changeling hooves, organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a pony is? If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? If you poison them, do they not die? And if you wrong them, shall they not revenge?
If they are like us in the rest, they will resemble us in that. If a changeling wrong a pony, what is it humility? Revenge. If a pony wrong a changeling, what should his sufferance be by pony example? Why, revenge.

“But these changelings have shown us none of the hatred that you have shown them. Like Luna said, you should be ashamed of yourselves and show the famed pony Harmony that Chrysalis so pointed out. Ask a changeling how its day is. Walk a changeling home from work. Give a little love to the homeless changeling begging on the side of the street. Start up a poker game with a couple of changelings. Buy a changeling a drink. In short, show some friendship to the sons and daughters of Chrysalis, who saved you from a fate most terrible some months ago. And in our darkest hour, our lives depend on it. This is Princess Celestia, signing out.”

Celestia pulled her horn away from Chrysalis, and looked around to see the dropped jaws of Shining Armor, Luna, Cadance, and Chrysalis. She blushed a bit. “That bad, huh?”

“No, not at all…” Luna said.

“In fact…” Cadance said.

“It was beautiful.” Shining said, tearing up.

Cadance trotted over to Shining Armor and nuzzled him. “Are you crying?”

“What? Can’t I show a little Liquid Pride for my Aunt-in-Law?”

Cadance chuckled and pulled away. “I suppose so, honey.” Cadance then looked over to Chrysalis, who appeared to be rising off of the ground.

“This is it...I can feel the friendship flowing through me...I just might be able to—” Chrysalis said before she was cut off by her violent midair convulsions.

“Oh, me, what’s happening?” Luna asked.

“It appears to be some kind of Friendship Overdose. Her, let me rope her in.” Celestia said as she cast out a string of magic from her horn to where Chrysalis was...or at least used to be. “Where did she go?” Everypony looked around, then Shining Armor motioned towards the ceiling.

“There she is!” he said. Everypony looked up to see Chrysalis scampering about the ceiling like a spider, then disappear. She reappeared right in front of Cadance, who leapt back in shock with a scream when she saw the madness in Chrysalis’s eyes.

“need...more…” Chrysalis groaned, reaching towards Cadance, before she was restrained by Shining Armor’s magic.

“what...are you doing!? I need more!” Chrysalis moaned as she struggled against the fetter that bound her neck.

“I’ve think you’ve had enough, lady!” Shining said triumphantly. Celestia raised a hoof. She trotted over to Chrysalis.

“Why do you need more friendship, Chrysalis?”

Chrysalis glared at Celestia. “I need more so that I can trounce the windigoes once and for all! Do you want them returning every time there’s a bit of strife in your kingdom?”

Celestia then faced Cadance. “You heard the mare.”

Cadance looked at Chrysalis, then Celestia. “I’m not sure that she can handle any more. It might kill her. Besides, this just might be another mad grab for power—”

“—SILENCE! I have had enough of you little ponies theorizing of my insane plan to overcome the fealty oath I swore! Get it through your thick little skulls that the revolution has been postponed...indefinitely!”

Cadance looked at Chrysalis. She could somehow sense through her power-drunk state that she was to be believed. Besides, if it killed her, that would be two birds with one stone.

“Alright, Chrysalis, here it comes. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She blasted Chrysalis with a pink beam which absorbed into Chrysalis, who was cycling from red to blue to violet and all the way back again. Chrysalis began violently convulsing in her fetter, thrashing about the floor. Her hoof passed through the floor, then pulled out, bringing up chunks of stone with it, showering the ponies present in bits of rock. Cadance kept blasting her, when her beam touched nothing except for the ground below where Chrysalis was standing. Cadance looked bemused. “Where did she go?”

“I dunno. Maybe she really couldn’t take it.” Shining Armor said.

“She’s here.” Celestia said. “Or at least she was here.” Cadance and Shining Armor turned to look at Celestia, while Luna had appeared to have fallen asleep standing up.

“What do you mean, Auntie?” Cadance asked.

“She’s gone off to do battle with the Windigoes.”

“But how did she break my bonds?” Shining asked.

Celestia raised an eyebrow at Shining. “Do you think you could hold me?” Shining Armor blushed sheepishly. “Well, we should all wish her luck, for she has a hard battle ahead of her.” Celestia said as she looked to the wall of the throne room, Cadance and Shining following her gaze.

“Do you think she’ll be alright?” Cadance asked.

Celestia smiled. “Are we showing a little concern for the Changeling Queen?” Cadance blushed and shook her head.

“N-no! Nothing like that! Just hoping that she slays the Windigoes once and for all like she promised…” Cadance said, looking away from Celestia. Celestia smiled a knowing smile at Cadance, then glanced over to Luna, who was snoring. She swatted her with some magic, to which Luna quickly snapped awake.

“What is thine command!” Luna belted out.

“Stop snoring.” Celestia said.

“We—um, I don’t snore!”

“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.” Luna huffed and turned away from Celestia, quickly falling asleep again.

I, Changeling

Chrysalis was in pure shock. Her mind was peeling back all of its layers as her life flashed before her. Defeating Safer Sombra, the Fealty Oath, the Invasion of Canterlot, all of these events flashed before her until it dug into her time as Bloody Mary. She relived the Sacking of Stalliongrad, the Hanging of Hoofington and the Burning of Baltimare. Still her mind peeled back further until she revisited her torture at the hands of King Sombra as her mind was twisted to feed off of love, the black carapace painfully being affixed to her form, and her genetic structure tampered with to shapeshift. Then she saw peace as Queen Crystalis di Amatore Maria as her subjects fawned over her every move, mimicked her every action to a T. Her mind then shifted back to the present, when she shook her head and stood up on her hooves, noticing that everypony around her had stopped. Celestia was still looking on, Cadance was still blasting where she was, Shining Armor still had the manacle in place, and Luna had fallen asleep. She thought of messing with them, but she had more important matters to attend to. She trotted outside to the landing pad, where the snow had stalled in place, each flake standing in statis. She grasped a flake in her magic and examined it, noting the elegant structure inherent to it. She sighed, then placed the snowflake where she had found it. She then crouched down, then took off, a shockwave of green emitting from where she had departed.

She quickly found the Windigoes encircling Canterlot, stopped in time like the landscape around her. She quickly zoomed to the first one, dispatching it with a flick of her hock. She dispatched the rest just as quickly. She then rocketed to Hoofington, repeating the process. Onward to Baltimare, where the same scene took place. She then looked over to Canterlot, where the Windigoes seem to have regenerated! She darted back to Canterlot and dispatched of them just as quickly as before. She then looked over to Hoofington. Same story, the Windigoes had regenerated. Chrysalis decided that this wasn’t going to work. They must have a central power source, just like her and her Hive. Now where would a winter spirit camp out? She decided on a hunch to streak over to the Crystal Empire.

There she found a giant cumulonimbus Windigo, with fifteen Windigoes encircling it. She dispatched of them, when to her surprise an ethereal hoof plucked her out of the sky and brought her to a giant pony face.

Who are you to disturb the natural order? it spoke directly into her mind.

She had so many answers for it, but her mind was speeding so quickly that she barely eked out, “Not...natural…” as she tried to struggle out of its grip. The Windigo that had ensnared her let out a ghostly chuckle while it moved across the landscape.

Of course it is natural. It is the way of things. We were created to destroy any threats to harmony without prejudice.

Chrysalis kept struggling. “Not...right…” she groaned. They were passing over Hoofington now.

Who is to say what is and isn’t right? We were created with a purpose, and we intend to carry it out.

“Purpose...flawed…” Chrysalis moaned.

And what manner of pony are you to decide our purpose is flawed? Do you think you can defeat us?

“Not...pony…”

Well, you certainly look like a pony. And ponies cannot defeat us. When we are struck down, more rise to take out place.

“Not...Pony!” she screamed as they parked above Canterlot.

Yes, you’ve already said that. Then what do you call yourself?

“I...CHANGELING!” Chrysalis screamed as she finally broke the grasp of the titanic Windigo, charging up her horn.

I’ve already told you, unless you can destroy every single one of us, this is all for naught. We will all regenerate...even I, Windigo Prime…

“Regenerate...this!” Chrysalis screamed as she rose into the sky, high above Equestria, where she could see all the land. She then blasted straight down, rushing to outrun the beam she had just fired out. She got within her own crosshairs, then transformed into Crystal Mary, the beam of friendship hitting her full-force, where it refracted upon her diamond facets and burned all of the Windigoes. She then faced Windigo Prime with a wicked smile curling across her lips, then unleashed the full force of what was left of her reserves straight into the winter spirit, where it disintegrated into ash.

“Regenerate...that…” she said before she fell down straight into—

“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.” Celestia said to her sister as she huffed and turned away, soon to be asleep again. A rainbow light then flashed across the windows, shocking everypony except Luna, who was blissfully asleep.

“What was that?” Cadance asked.

Celestia smiled. “I don’t know...why don’t you ask her?” she said as she stepped to the side.

“Ask who—” Cadance got out before a pony crashed through the ceiling into the throne room, causing Cadance to shriek and Luna to snap awake.

“We’re awake!” Luna shouted as she looked around, finally resting her eyes on the source of the disturbance, gasping in response to what she saw.

“Queen Crystalis di Amatore Maria!” she said, bowing low. Celestia followed suit, as did Shining Armor, leaving Cadance to sit in shock.

“Call me...Queen Mary…” Mary said, hacking roughly. Cadance appeared to be beside herself.

“Is this...a trick?” she asked.

Queen Mary shook her head as she rose onto her hooves. “No trick, my dear descendant. It is I. It appears that when Chrysalis took my form, my memories came with it.” Cadance sat there, frozen. What should she do? What should she say?

“I’ve...never met a member of my own family before.” She finally got out.

“Well, then, why don’t we do what family members do?” Queen Mary said, forearms outstretched. Cadance rushed in to seal the embrace.

“I’m afraid I’m not long for this world, so listen closely,” Queen Mary said into Cadance’s ear, “you do have family. Your adopted Aunts, Celestia and Luna, and your husband Shining Armor. And don’t forget Queen Chrysalis, who sacrificed herself momentarily to save us all.”

Tears started streaming down Cadance’s face. “I won’t, ancestor. I won’t.” she said as she cried in earnest as Queen Mary shifted back into Queen Chrysalis, who looked around to find that she was hugging Princess Cadance, of all ponies, and that everypony else present was bowing down to her, much to her confusion.

“Did I miss something?” Chrysalis asked. Cadance hugged Chrysalis tightly.

“No, ancestor, you didn’t.” Cadance said. “You just saved us all.”

Chrysalis gave a smug grin at that. “Told you I’d do it.”

Celestia, Luna, and Shining Armor raised from their bows, watching the pleasant scene unfold, when Chrysalis started retching, Cadance backing away. Chrysalis then presented her inner mouth and started gagging as she hacked up a black ichor which hit the ground and burnt through the carpet, then collapsed onto the ground. Cadance rushed over to her and listened for a breath, and upon finding none, she proceeded to pummel her chest, Chrysalis’s body shivering from each blow. Cadance looked around. “Well, aren’t you going to help!? Call an ambulance!” Celestia and Luna looked around, realizing it was upon them to bring Chrysalis to the hospital. Celestia crouched down.

“Well, load her up.”

Chrysalis awoke to a blindingly white room. She tried to move, but her entire body locked up in pain. She tried to grasp herself with her magic, but her horn throbbed in agony.

“Me,” she said, “I feel like I’ve been run over by a Tatzlwurm.” She turned her head to find Cadance sitting by her side...feeding her love? “What is the meaning of this? Is this a detention center for political prisoners?”

Cadance shook her head, chuckling at the comment Chrysalis just made. “No, Mary, it’s a hospital. The nice doctors and nurses are going to take care of you until you get better.”

Chrysalis frowned. “But I have a Hive to handle! I have things to do! And why are you using that appellation?”

Cadance shook her head, still smiling. “Because it’s your name, silly.”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at Cadance. “And why are you feeding me love? Don’t you realize that Changelings are forbidden to feed on love?”

“The doctors said you’d need lots of love in order to get better, quite literally in your case,” Cadance said, “and I’m here to give it to you!” Cadance then proceeded to pull out a huge teddy bear holding a heart that said ‘I wuv you’ on it. She then poked it belly, when it said, “I wuv you!” Cadance giggled like a schoolgirl at that. “Don’t you just love it?”

Chrysalis gagged at the stuffed bear. Maybe it was better when Cadance hated her.

Trapped in the Bakery

Twilight was furious. She somehow had gotten trapped with her friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the local changelings in Sugarcube Corner, because of snow. In July. Twilight buried her face in her hooves. When she got back, she was going to have to create a Summer Snow checklist on the double. As it was, however, Pinkie Pie graciously lent them some of her jackets, which were crazy patchwork designs. Hers, in particular, was very weird. It had a mauve shoulderpad, a copper left sleeve, a cerulean right sleeve, amber pockets, and smoky topaz buttons. She pulled her face out of her hooves and looked at Pinkie, who seemed unusually nervous. Twilight turned to Pinkie and asked, “Why are you so nervous, Pinkie?”

Pinkie looked around, then cried out, “I’m sorry for blasting you in the face with Twilight’s magic, changelings!” Thirty-four and Sixty-three both looked up at Pinkie.

“No need—” Sixty-three started.

“—to worry about that.” Thirty-four finished.

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Why?” Twilight listened in as well. This was going to be interesting.

“Because we would have—” Thirty-four started.

“—done the same thing—” Sixty-three continued.

“—in your situation.” Thirty-four finished. “What is it you ponies always say? Try to put your hoof—”

“—in the other pony’s horseshoes?” Sixty-three finished.

Pinkie thought on that for a second, tapping her chin with her hoof. “Y’know, I never really thought about it like that.” Pinkie then nodded. “I suppose I’d attack Canterlot under the direct orders of Queen Chrysalis if I was a shapeshifting bugger—”

“—Pinkie!” Applejack said, smacking Pinkie Pie in the back of the head. “They find that offensive!” Pinkie Pie then blushed.

“Sorry.” she said. Pinkie then extended a hoof to the two changelings. “Friends?” The changelings looked at the proffered hoof with confusion, then extended their hooves as well, Pinkie took the chance to wrap both of them in a deep bear hug, pulling them in tightly. She then let them go, both of them gasping for air. “Great!” Pinkie said. “Now I can sing my ‘I just made friends with a Changeling song!”

Rarity asked, “You have a ‘I just made friends with a Changeling’ song?” Applejack reached towards her saddlebags. Pinkie nodded.

“Of course, silly! I have songs for just about everything! Why I have an ‘I just met Queen Chrysalis’ song, an ‘I just made muffins’ song, an—”

“Pinkie!” everypony in the room yelled simultaneously except for Applejack, who had something gripped in her hoof, looking like a snake ready to strike.

“Oh, ok, you want to hear the song now!” Pinkie then inhaled sharply.

When I was a—and was promptly shut up by Applejack shoving an apple fritter into her mouth, which she began chewing on contentedly.

“Now, I love Pinkie to death, but I won’t have none of that singing nonsense when we’re trapped like rats in here.” Applejack explained. The others nodded in agreement.

Twilight sighed. This was not how she had planned on spending her afternoon. She was supposed to be reading the changelings history books Princess Celestia had recommended her. She was supposed to start them, but then Rainbow Dash dragged her in to watch Sweetie Belle’s insane stunt with the muffins, and now they were snowed in. Great. Wait! She could just teleport into the library, grab the books, the zip back to Sugarcube Corner to sit with her friends! It was perfect! Twilight charged up her magic, then focused on the library.

When she finished teleporting, however, she was not in the library. She was outside Sugarcube Corner, on top of a snowdrift, shivering her withers off. What she saw when she looked upwards, though, shook her to her core. In the sky were giant ghostly horses circling Ponyville. She quickly teleported back into Sugarcube Corner.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Where’d ya go?”

Twilight shook her head. “Just outside. I was trying to get to the library to grab some reading material—”

“—course ya’d be tryin’ ta read at a time like this.”

Twilight huffed. “That’s not the point. The point is, I didn’t make it there. And when I looked up at the sky, I saw things that looked an awful lot like the descriptions of Windigoes.”

Everypony present gasped at that.

“Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked. “I mean, Windigoes only feed off of hatred, and there certainly isn’t any in Ponyville…”

Apple Bloom raised her head. “You serious? Have ya ever been outside the school recently?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I haven’t. At least not since Angel was banned from being within five-hundred feet of a school zone.”

“Why isn’t Angel allowed within five-hundred feet of a school zone?”

Fluttershy shook her head again. “I have no idea. He won’t tell me. He wouldn’t even let me come to court to give him moral support.”

"You do realize that anypony can spectate in open court, right?” Twilight remarked.

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t dare invade Angel’s privacy like that.”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “We’re gettin’ off track. Anyway, there’s been protesters outside the school protesting Forty-two! And Diamond Tiara’s been real nasty to Forty-Two! When, just today, she crushed Forty-Two’s muffin under her hoof!” Thirty-four and Sixty-three turned their heads towards Forty-two.

“Is this true?” Thirty-four asked.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sixty-three asked. Forty-two bowed its head down.

“Because I thought you’d pull me out of school and we’d return to the hive.” Forty-two said.

“And why would we do that?” Thirty-four asked.

“Because...because Queen Chrysalis said to pull me out at the first sign of trouble!” Forty-two said.

“Now why would we do that—” Sixty-three started.

“—when you’ve apparently made three wonderful friends in your first day?” Thirty-four finished.

“I...I don’t know. Just thought you would.” Thirty-four and Sixty-three then moved in for an awkward hug of Forty-two, which Twilight found cute.

Rainbow Dash then perked up. “Wait, Angel’s a foal-toucher?”

Fluttershy glared at Rainbow Dash. “No, he’s not! How dare you say such a thing!”

Rainbow Dash snorted. “I dunno, that’s the only crime I’ve heard of where you’re banned from a school zone.”

“No, he could be a drug dealer!” Rainbow Dash snorted again.

“Yeah, like that rabbit’s a drug dealer…”

Down in Fluttershy’s basement, Angel opened up a pressure-cooker, which had several varieties of mushrooms in them which he had carefully cultivated. He looked over them, checking for any rotten crops. Noticing that there were none, he quickly sealed the pressure-cooker and covered it with a warm blanket, shivering. What was up with the weather today?

“You don’t know!” Fluttershy said. Rainbow Dash laughed.

“Yeah, sure, believe what you want. My bits are on foal-toucher.” Rainbow Dash said.

“Stop saying that!” Fluttershy said.

“What, the obvious truth?”

“It’s not true!” Rainbow Dash then looked to Scootaloo.

“Tell me, Scoots. Did Angel ever touch you in an inappropriate way?”

Scootaloo looked around. “Um...no?” Fluttershy glared at Rainbow Dash.

“Stop saying that!” Ethereal whinnying was then heard that rocked Sugarcube Corner to its core. The girls huddled together for comfort, as well as the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The changelings, however, seemed to be frozen in place. Twilight picked up a spoon with her magic and lightly prodded Forty-two, worrying when it didn’t respond.

“Uh, girls, I think we have a problem here—” Twilight started before she was cut off by what appeared to be the voice of the legion coming out of the three changeling’s mouths.

“Hello Equestria. This is Queen Chrysalis, your savior from Safer Sombra, and I come to you with a request. You may have noticed the exorbitant snowfall and the harsh whinnying outside, and I am here to confirm your fears. Yes, there are windigoes all across Equestria, and yes, it is because of the rampant specism shown to my brood. I am here to beseech you to cast aside your differences and show the changelings the friendship that you ponies are famed for. I beg you to not repeat the mistakes of, let’s see here...ah yes...Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and...really? This has to be some kind of joke, right? There’s no way her parents named her that! What do you mean...oh, it’s right here in the history text. Huh...Chancellor Puddinghead and let your principality freeze over because, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my short stay here is that it’s what’s inside of a pony that counts and that...No! There’s no way I’m saying that!...alright, but I’m warning you, it sounds so dreadfully trite...friendship is magic.” The changelings then shook their heads.

“Colt, that was weird.” Forty-two said.

“She’s never done a—” Sixty-three started.

—full-scale possession before. She must be serious.” Thirty-four finished.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “But why does she want us to show you friendship?”

“Don’t you see, silly filly?” Pinkie Pie asked. “She wants us all to drive the Windigoes away with our friendship like Smart Cookie and the rest!” Twilight stared at Pinkie Pie. She may act funny, but she certainly knew her stuff.

“Alright, let’s try this.”